Sometimes people has the wrong focus. The point is to feed your baby and help them grow happily and healthily. The way of feeding is not the focus. Feeding itself is important.

Finally!! The first mom I follow on KZfaq talking about this... I went through the same when my baby was born and I felt so bad and so frustrated and I see these moms in KZfaq with their videos of how they pumped 7383939 oz a day (which is super good for them) but I felt so bad! I know it’s hard but there is not a better mom for him than you and the only thing that matters if that you’re both healthy and happy❤️🥰

I’ll be honest...This made me cry. I was a total mess when my baby was born because my milk supply never came in properly. I would wake up every day for the first two weeks thinking...is today the day my breasts will be full? And every day I would break down when it wasn’t. I had some milk, but it was never enough, and we had to do formula as well. Eventually at 2 1/2 months I switched over fully to formula, and I still feel so much guilt. But I had to keep my baby fed properly. Honestly breastfeeding was the HARDEST part and still to this day it breaks my heart that I couldn’t do it properly. Your message means a lot. Thank you 🙏

I gave birth at the beginning of the quarantine and based in Europe with my husband and my toddler and the baby. No family members to help for even a day. I was going through so much stress with pumping milk, my toddler worrying 24/7, my husband at work all day and the worse part is I was seriously sick and stressed throughout my pregnancy. I was breaking down with low supply of milk and was feeling guilty but I had to stop breastfeeding at 2 months and focus on formula only. cos i was in a bad state with my mental health. My baby is 8 months today and is almost 20 pounds and pediatrician keeps praising me that I have done a perfect job. No all mother's can do breastfeeding especially depending on the situation we find ourselves in

This may not help, but I have read that if you put socks on the bottles while you’re pumping and you don’t check to see how much, you can produce more because you’re not actually watching how much you have produced so you get less negative thoughts while actually pumping. Worth a shot!

2oz is A LOT because you're still nursing & he's eating food. You're doing a great job!

Kayla thank you so much for talking about this because every single mom on KZfaq seems to be living the “perfect” life and having a huge stash of breast milk in their freezer. You have helped me a lot with your thoughts,I know I am not alone. I also struggle with breastfeeding and pumping and feeling like I am the worst for not being able to provide for my child.I know for sure though that I do not love my child less because I do not have enough milk. Sending you lots of love from Greece.

I felt the tears coming while watching your video. My son is now seven weeks old and on day three at the hospital his weight started decreasing and I put him on supplement. Being home trying to find time to clean to cook to bathe to go to the bathroom it's been really difficult. I'm a single mom but has a lot of help from my parents. Having my first child at 40 years old I really thought I would be able to handle it all. This is hard. Thank you for being honest about your journey it sound so similar to mine. I go back to work in about three weeks and I'm trying to pump at least 4 to 6 times a day. Thank you for all your encouragement God bless you❤

A pound in a couple of weeks is AMAZING!! ❤️ Don’t be too hard on yourself (easier said than done, I know as a fellow mama) but you guys are doing an awesome job! The worrying never ends but I hope you know that we are all rooting for you! ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm a first time mom and my baby is 1 month old. My milk never "came in". I have been able to produce some milk, but not nearly enough to keep up with her needs. I'm so grateful that you posted this video... you are the first mom on here saying how difficult nursing actually is. It still breaks my heart that I'm not able to fully sustain my baby, but everyday I'm getting a little better about not feeling guilty for my lack of milk. Thank you for sharing your struggle, it's nice to know that we are not alone in this struggle.

I am both a mom-to-be and a pediatrician-to-be, and you being willing to share your stories so openly has helped me to understand what moms go through and also what to anticipate in a few short months myself. I think you are doing a wonderful job and your children are thriving in so many ways. I hope you feel that your pediatrician is on your team in this journey.

Thank you for being real. You are an amazing mother and your baby is the picture of health. Take courage from a grandma who has been in similar shoes. I was never a successful nurser. I received a lot of negativity from my doctor and even family members who thought I gave up too soon. I did what I knew was best for my babies. A mom knows! I have been sitting here and crying because so much of what you shared is what I felt and never had the courage to say. God bless you and your beautiful family!

You are a fabulous Mom. I love how engaged you always are with your kiddos, getting messy playing with them, joining them in their world. Thank you for your honesty about breastfeeding. I am among countless women who can relate to you. I take/eat old fashioned oats and brewers yeast and switched to Spectra pump but yes milk production is so tied to mental health it's crazy! Thank you again!!!

Thank you for making this vlog. Motherhood is such a challenging journey.

This video is hitting home so hard!!! Thank you for speaking so honestly and openly about this. One of the biggest shocks for me as a first time mom is how emotionally traumatising it has been to have a low milk supply and feel like your body is not producing sufficient milk to feed your little one. Those feelings of being inadequate and wondering what is wrong with your body... 😢

Never doubt that you are an AMAZING mom Kayla! 24 years ago my daughter was transferred to a hospital 3 hours away and I had to pump for over a week. My daughter did not get use to the breast and I had to switch to bottles due to losing my milk supply. Just remember that you are doing all you can to help him gain weight. He is beautiful and healthy and that is what counts. God bless ❤

You are so incredibly kind to share such a personal journey. ❤️ I completely understand! Breastfeeding is so hard. It effects us mentally and emotionally, and I wish people would talk about that more!! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope other mommy’s start sharing more about their breastfeeding journeys. It really helps to know that we all have our struggles. We are not alone in this! I was a wreck the whole time I breastfed my little one. He had so many allergies to my breast milk, and no matter what I did and how I changed my diet, he had some pretty serious reactions to my milk. It made me feel terrible that I couldn’t give my baby what he needed. :( After a TON of trial and error with my diet, the Ped recommended that we switch to formula. So after four and a half months of trying, and frankly being too emotional to wean, we finally made the switch to formula. It was so hard to accept that my milk wasn’t good for my baby, but now he is SO happy and SO healthy. I am so thankful there was a formula that worked for him, and it doesn’t cause him discomfort or pain. P.S. You’re positive attitude and encouragement is wonderful. Keep it up! 💕

As someone who had an easy time breastfeeding with both of my babies, my heart goes out to the mamas who struggle so hard to do the same. You are amazing and I have so much respect for the effort and hard work you put into giving your baby the best. You all are amazing and your children are extremely blessed to have you

Watching your video on Jackson being underweight has helped me so much! My baby is a month younger than Jackson and he’s just as petite! This video is exactly how I have been feeling. I went to the store, bought the cookies, fenugreek, all of it!!! Thank you, thank you for your transparency and insight. LOVE YOUR VIDEOS💕

sweet mama! I want to hug you! I want you to know that you are amazing, and your baby boy looks so HAPPY. If he was not well nourished he would not be a happy baby! I am dealing with supply issues right now too after getting mastitis - just keep pumping! and even if you need to add in some formula, you don't need to be all in one way or another. if you can add 2 ounces of breast milk that you pumped to formula, that is SO beneficial for him still. any breast milk you produce for him is awesome! keep it up with power pumping in between, keep letting him nurse as often as he wants, and keep up everything else you're doing. a year from now you won't have to worry about everything you're dealing with right now, but this is a short year and you're doing amazing nourishing him.

I highly reccomend going to see a lactation consultant. You're doing a great job. We as moms put so much pressure on ourselves and our mental health has to come first. You mentioned so many misconceptions in your video. Pumping and leaking do not indicate milk supply. And low milk supply is not as common as people think. If people produce less its normally because they arent putting the demand on their body. Sleep training can have a HUGE impact on milk supply. And you can increase your supply it is just something that takes time. Adding more nursing sessions is key. Itll help even more then pumping. Power pumping between 11 and 6 would be helpful because it's when our prolactin levels are highest. Society makes it seem like you need to pump 10 ounces a time and that's so not true. 2 ounces while nursing full time is great! Give your body a chance. Take care of yourself, eat and drink enough and just nurse nurse nurse. Have you tried nursing in a carrier? Skin to skin and extra time on the breast will also help. Good luck mama! No shame in formula and doing what is best for your mental health. Motherhood is stressful enough!

Breastfeeding is such a rollercoaster. You are doing such a great job. Thanks for speaking out about your struggles ❤️

500 videos! Congrats! I enjoy your videos and appreciate how open and vulnerable you are ❤️

Thank you, Kayla. I have so much compassion for your story. I’ve been watching you since my first baby was born this February and I love watching Jackson do things right before my daughter does. But the thing my baby doesn’t do is breastfeed. I never had my milk “come in” and struggled for twelve weeks to nurse my baby. I sobbed so many times: “I just want to feed my baby.” So many consults were about holds and techniques and supplements but still I was only producing 1 -2 oz per day (pumping round the clock). The last doctor finally told me that because I lost a lot of blood at delivery that the drop in blood pressure affected my pituitary and the hormones it was supposed to produce. I still felt, and feel, as you said - why can’t I feed my baby with what she is “supposed” to drink. Struggling with feeling like a lesser mother. Your opening up made me cry (for myself, and for you) but also feel better. Our babies can still be fed, just in a different way. I’m sure Jackson will continue with his weight gain; you are an awesome mother for thinking of so many ways to help him gain, and it’s working! What really helped me was taking some photos and videos of my daughter nursing while she tried to get those few ounces. They remind me that I did what I could, and that that is only a small part of our relationship. Thanks again for your channel’s videos. I watch them all and am so happy to see your subscribed numbers go up and up. You deserve it!

Thank you so much for sharing your struggles and being vulnerable in front of us! And, thank you for not being another instructional video on how to increase my milk supply. Coincidentally, I watch your videos during my pumping sessions. As you talked about the sound of the pump, you essentially described my current world. I thought I was alone in being a low producer. I felt inadequate and obsessed over increasing my milk supply (I still do sometimes). Every mother around me seemed able to produce entire bottles of milk. The most I ever produced in a pumping session was 9 ounces and that was months ago. Between taking care of a newborn, trying to feed and hydrate myself, and all the other things new moms are told to do, I couldn't be as religious about pumping every two hours. Because my son was born only 6 pounds, he wanted milk nonstop for the first three months. My breastmilk just couldn't keep up. I've supplemented with formula since he was a couple days old. Once I stopped feeling so incredibly guilty about feeding him formula and started actually nursing him more instead of exclusively pumping, I felt like I somehow produced a bit more milk. My supply dips when I'm on my period and when I'm extremely sleep-deprived. But, I'm doing the best I can and I'm trying to tell myself that that is enough. And to all the tired moms who are struggling with low supply and accidentally spill a bottle of hard-earned breastmilk, that happened to me yesterday. Much love ❤️

Kayla please listen, you are a wonderful mother. Things happen. It can and will be fixed. Hes happy healthy and loves food. I promise its going to be ok. Being hard on yourself isn't gonna help. We love you girl! I absolutely love your channel.

You are so brave. Thank you for sharing such personal thoughts. Its comforting to hear other moms ate going through the same problem. God bless 🙏

I cried watching this video. I had milk supply issues from the start with my son (now 7 mo) and I think by his 6 week appt or 2 month he still wasn’t back to his birth weight and we’ve been supplementing with formula since. It’s been so hard. Thank you Kayla for sharing this ❤️ you’re doing such a great job and you’re a great mom. Jackson is definitely looking chunkier! I remember when we started supplementing I thought the same thing “it’s time to get my baby CHUNKY” and that thought helped me get through the feelings of inadequacy and guilt knowing I had a mission to fatten him up.

This was so emotional to watch 💔 I wouldn’t have even realised that something like pumping could be so traumatic for you because of the NICU experience. I think it’s very brave of you to share your experience and to make other aware. Every mum and baby is different and it just shows that people need to be kind because you just don’t know what someone else’s struggles may be xxx

Man, this spoke to my soul. I couldn’t quite put into words how I was feeling in regards to how breast-feeding affects your mental health, and I feel like you spoke exactly what I couldn’t say. Thank you so much, from one mom who struggles with anxiety to another. Even though my baby is growing just fine, I still want to make sure that I’m doing my absolute best by him, and it’s so easy to time my worth as a mom to how much milk I’m able to pump out. Much love from my new subscriber ❤️

Hi Kayla, you have pretty much shared most of the anxieties I have faced with breastfeeding and pumping. My second baby is underweight and has been since my whole pregnancy. I had pre eclampsia so he was always monitored for growth and was below centile for everything. He is now just over 7 months and has been on the 2nd centile since birth. He was in the nicu for a few weeks after birth which as you know is incredibly difficult. As you put it, you will always do everything in your power to help your baby and you are doing that for Jackson and Riley. I have been following your channel since I had my second baby and it has got me through lockdown.Don't worry about the low milk supply issue, you are doing all the right things and hopefully it will increase. If it helps, I was told by one of the nurses in Nicu to pump between 12pm to 5pm because that's when you get the most milk and to nurse/pump at least 8 times in the day to establish a good milk supply. I share your pain with pumping so do what you feel is best for you. As long as Jackson is happy with the feeds whether it is milk or solids that's all that matters. Hopefully his weight will increase.

I wish all new moms watch this video. It's really important for every mom's mental health to know that if you can't breastfeed, that's ok, it doesn't make you less of a mom. In my country there's a fb group, breastfeeding support. But man, there isn't so much support as breastfeeding bullying. You are asked if you gave your baby a bottle and if you say you did, man, all hell breaks loose. That's why you can't breastfeed, because of that bottle, you are sabotaging your breastfeeding, you shouldn't give your baby formula etc etc. I swear, sometimes i see some posts that say that their baby isn't gaining weight or is losing weight, and they just keep telling to try again and again, forgetting that maybe that baby can dehydrate and die! I swear, these things have to be stopped. Congrats Kayla, for doing this video!

I relate to what you are saying so much. You sharing how you feel about it and your struggles makes me feel like I'm not alone. You are a great mom! You do the best with what you know and the information you have, and you did the best. ❤

As a momma who just got my baby home after 90 days in NICU I related to this video so much! My supply is great but her doctors make me fortify my milk with formula and at first I felt awful like my milk was not good enough. I have an entire deep freeze full of milk but still have to use formula for her weight! Every baby is different and every momma is different. What matters is they are healthy and happy! Formula or not ❤️ Hang in there love! You’re doing a wonderful job!

Thank you for sharing. I have exclusively pumped and supplemented as needed for 5 months. It has been the hardest part of being a mom for me. Feeling inadequate for a low supply, staying up at all hours to pump, buying so many supplements and pumps and flanges, fights with SO for needing him to take care of baby while I pumped, mourning the loss of a breastfeeding relationship, crying when I have to give him formula even though I know it’s okay. It’s frickin hard and even though deep down you know it doesn’t measure your worth, that irrational feeling of guilt and not being in control of your body is hard to shake. I’m happy for moms that produce enough, but also jealous and angry, which then makes me sad. It’s really hard. But we do what we can and love our babies. You’re right, we are super moms and if I could do it over I would spend less time stressed about milk and more time loving on my little one. You’re doing so great. Thanks for these videos. Makes me feel less alone during the covid craziness.

I feel for you girl, days that I don't produce as much i feel like my confidence in myself as a mother takes a hit. It sucks that I can be so upset just because I didnt hit a certain mark on the bottle when pumping. Prolactin levels are highest around 3am so middle of the night pumps are super essential for me. Power pumping has also saved me time and time again. Some mothers don't leak, I never EVER leak , even when I've gone 7 hours without pumping. You're such an amazing mother and I love your videos. Thanks for putting this out there, its hard to talk about but you've helped me feel like I'm not alone.

You are a great momma! My daughter is turning 9 months on the 16th and I’m still breastfeeding but it is hard because I thought I wasn’t producing enough milk. At 2-4 weeks I hadn’t established a good enough milk supply and doctors and breastfeeding consultants told me she was loosing too much weight and it killed me! It made me depressed and they suggested supplementing with formula and not giving up on my breastfeeding journey. Within a week she gained weight and looked so much healthier. I’m glad that I kept latching and breastfeeding her. She has been strictly breast fed since then. I don’t pump either because I wouldn’t get more than 2 oz in 20 minutes and I would feel like crap and get down on myself. But I just go off of her cues and when she lets go. You’re such an inspiration to me &You’re doing an amazing job! Keep up the good work!

You are doing a wonderful job. Good mamas are the ones who worry! I love your channel it’s helped me loads as a first time mummy. You are honest and open,so I can get inspiration and also commiserate. Breastfeeding was one of the biggest challenges of my life. Praying for you to get some peace and for Jackson’s weight to increase. He looks very healthy and happy, as does Riley.

You've definitely helped at least one person. This was very relatable as we were readmitted to hospital when our baby was only a few days old because he had lost too much weight. It was one of the most heartbreaking times of my life. Anyway, great video, this is the kind of thing all expecting mums should be told. I'll make sure I share it! ❤️

I couldn’t breastfeed either of my kids because my supply was so low. I tried longer for my first baby but she was losing weight so I started giving her formula right away.There’s so much craziness around breastfeeding these days, a lot of people look down on you for formula feeding and it can make you feel so crappy ☹️ I know that embarrassment and feeling like a bad mom because you’re not a milk machine but that’s just not true and we should never feel that way ❤️

You’re amazing. Seriously love your channel and how real you are. Its so relatable. I just had a similar experience to your experience with Riley’s birth and I know the struggle of the NICU and them legit telling you that your body is not adequate to feed your baby. Its traumatic, and we’re in a vulnerable hormonal state as well. We did 3 days in the NICU with our 40 week 1 day baby and I fought like HELL to establish breastfeeding and was constantly told I was not doing good enough by the hospital staff. Here we are 5 months in pumping and nursing and bottle feeding and I worry like you about weight gain. Ultimately it’s in God’s hands and we all do the best we can for our children. thank you for your vulnerability

It’s so emotional for me to watch this video. I was struggling with breastfeeding so hard and I’m still trying to breastfeed my baby now even though he is more than 6 month old. Breastfeeding sounds like a natural thing when you become a mom. Nobody told me it would be soooooo hard. I tried everything to boost up my milk supply like power pumping, fenugreek, lactation cookies and so on. I also asked for help from different lactation consultants and they gave me different advices. But I never saw milk in my bottles reached the line of 2 oz. I blamed myself for such a long time. Now I feel maybe I should not pay so much attention on the milk supply. What I give to my baby is formula that is full of nutrient that he needs. It’s not poison. Thank you for sharing your stories and your videos support me all the time since I became a mom. Love you and your loving family!

Thanks for sharing this! It seems like so many videos I see are the moms with effortless oversupplies. I’m in the same boat as you. I don’t get much when I pump. You’re a great mama!! Don’t let this get you down. ❤️

Searching videos about women who formula feed/formula supplement, and stopping watching exclusive breast milk videos, helped me feel more positive in my own feeding experience. We are so hard on ourselves

My lactation consultant told me to pump in the morning because at the end of the day your supply is depleted from nursing all day!! You are such a good mama. Don’t be so hard on yourself 💓💓

You are so brave and strong as a mama! Sometimes I need this reminder: YOU ARE ENOUGH FOR YOUR BABY! ❤️ Breastfeeding is so hard and you are doing a great job! You may already be doing this, but I’ve always heard food before 1 is just for fun and to feed baby a full nursing session no more than an hour before a meal so they fill up on the milk and the food is just extra calories. You may already be doing that because I haven’t heard you mention it but I thought I’d share. That’s something I’ve learned in preparation for the introduction of solids. Also be careful with fenugreek - it doesn’t always help everyone, with some people it has the opposite effect. I’ve been using sunflower lecithin and that has been working for me. Also have you heard of the sock trick for pumping? Cover the bottles with socks so you don’t see the milk and then look at pics of your baby while pumping so you trick your brain into thinking it’s the baby feeding. Breastfeeding is affected by stress so just stay positive. You’ve got this!!!

Thank you for this video. I’ve been struggling with supply, and I need to supplement, and the mental struggle has been so hard. I, too, have had thoughts of feeling inadequate and sad that I’m not one of the moms that can make tons and tons of ounces. It’s nice to know other moms have these struggles 💕

As a first time mom, I completely understand what you mean when you say you feel inadequate for not being able to get enough to fill a bottle. There was a night where my 1 month old just wouldn't stop trying to nurse. I thought it was crazy that she would still be hungry. And then it dawned on me that she wasn't getting any milk. I got her a bottle and she drank the entire thing and fell asleep. And I just cried. I thought I was a horrible mother for not being able to feed my baby. I'm ok with it now, but it was so hard in the moment. Thank you so much for sharing your experience Kayla. And know that you are not alone.

Omg mama your not alone I'm here with you same experience your loved and you are doing everything you can as a mother

Thank you for this!😍 I am happy you are able to give your children breastmilk, even a little bit I'm sure is SO good for them! I stopped after 3-4 days because I was surrounded by lactation consultants and my body only gave colostrum (apparently not enough for my son). They all insisted my milk would come in and that even though his feeding was unusual (suck for 2 hours at a time, sleep for almost 20 mins), they were determined everything would work out. It never came in, he had latched perfectly, and I even had the woman in charge [whom I've known since I was a teenager] say after everything, "Well, that's strange." I felt like the biggest failure though more so because I had no one giving helpful advice, and I *knew* my child was starving. When I had to go back a few days later for physical and mental health evaluation, the lactation consultants/nurses there were *horrified* that I was given permission by 2 doctors to feed my newborn powdered formula.🤷🏻‍♀️

This video was exactly what I needed to hear today ❤️ I have to pump at work 2 days a week and I get so stressed out when I don't feel like I'm making enough. I completely understand the feeling of wanting to hide how much milk you get because you feel like you should have more. I am also dealing with the struggle of following an allergen free diet for my baby because he has an allergy to something I was eating. So many others, even past breastfeeding mamas, don't understand why I am choosing to try out the diet for my baby so I feel a lot of judgement surrounding that. But at the end of the day I have to remind myself that I'm the best mama for MY baby. You got this mamas 💪

Thanks for being so honest and real! I felt exactly the same way with my first child. If this can be to any comfort, where I live, it's quite common for moms to breastfeed only the first six months. Many moms go back to work after six months, and babies also start solid around that time. So you are actually already doing extra good job by breastfeeding so long!

I think you are a wonderful mom and you are doing great! Hang in there! Love you guys❤

You are an awesome woman, mom, and wife❤️ thanks for being so open

Appreciate your story because it hit home so much with me. With my 1st baby, I had to leave her behind at the hospital as well because of jaundice. Although it was only 1 extra day, I was in tears on the drive home. I felt so bad leaving my newborn behind and so alone. It was one of the saddest days of my life too. Breastfeeding her was difficult. The 1st month I had close to no supply and had to give her formula so she wouldn't starve. Again, this made me feel like I was failing as a mum. The fact that I couldn't breastfeed my own baby was putting me in tears every day. I hated pumping but I kept doing it 5-6 times a day to get something out but again, not enough for one feed. Thankfully, things improved from the 3rd month and I managed to exclusively breastfeed her until 14months💪 With my 2nd baby, it's a whole new struggle with breastfeeding. She fed well and I had reasonable supply from her birth. But at around 3 months she just wouldn't latch during the day so I could only breastfeed her 1st thing in the morning, and at the end of the day. Since then, I've been glued to my breast pump, pumping 5 times a day which is very exhausting and time consuming 😔 I have to formula feed her from time to time still too... But hey, like you said, we are all doing the best we can. Everyone is different, and every body is different. We need to give ourselves more grace and do our best. Thanks for sharing your breastfeeding journey 🙏

Thank you so much for sharing this ,it has truly touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes 🙏 . Reading through the comments and seeing how we are not alone really helps and to know that the struggle is REAL 😭. I love that your videos are always so honest and real, you are an amazing woman and mama! thank you again for sharing your story. I am struggling with my breast-feeding journey with my 3 week old baby boy.. most days I want to give up.. the pain, the stress, the anxiety... don’t know how, but somehow I keep going.. when it does get too hard I supplement with formula.. as long as baby is fed 😞🙏💚

You're amazing for sharing this Kayla!

Sending a huge virtual hug💛 you are a phenomenal mom to those beautiful baby’s of yours!

Thank you so much for this love 💓 your story has been such medicine. I'm struggling with my breast milk too after breaking my shoulder a few weeks ago. I'm struggling with the pump too, and have super low milk supply now. Feeling you and so grateful for your story ❤

I've learned that stressing about it made my supply low. When I let it go and just let him fed it helped a lot. My son is low on the chart too. I'm there with you❤

Thank you for making this video. You are awesome Kayla!

Breastfeeding has been the hardest thing I've ever got to do. I bled, cried, my nipples were cracked and my baby was not gaining any weight. She was born at the beginning of this whole Covid-19 situation and my husband had lost his job, so hiring a lactation consultant was out of the question. We live in Central America, and hiring a professional like that is a luxury not many people can afford. I looked up online and realized that supply was not my problem, my issue was the latch. I started supplementing with formula and pumping, because I couldn't stand the pain any longer. My husband's family were very critical of my decision, apparently enduring pain is part of the breastfeeding journey. According to them, choosing to bottle feed my child made a coward and less of a mother. Of course, my anxiety and stress levels went through the roof and got depressed, thank God my husband was there to support me. She is now a happy, healthy 6 month old baby girl. Don't get discouraged, Jackson will continue to thrive. 🥰

i absolutely love your videos!! you are mom goals!

Thank you for making this video. This is a more realistic breastfeeding situation and you just don’t hear about this enough on KZfaq

Thank you for being so vulnerable and open.❤ It makes me feel like I'm not alone. BF can really be such a journey. I'm currently struggling to keep my supply up since my baby had decided to only take bottles. It's heartbreaking that he rejects the breast and I struggle with feeling like a failure. You are doing great and the mental load of BF is a heavy one! He is such a cutie and is so advanced for his age!😊😁

And thank you for sharing this information hopefully future moms can watch this!

Kayla, I understand what you mean about pumping. Whenever I hear it or see it, it brings back so many bad emotions. I feel traumatized. I was never able to breastfeed and it was so hard for me. Whenever I pumped I would get 1 oz and feel so sad that I couldn't produce enough milk for my little girl. 😔 A lot of people would put me down and I felt like the worst mom. I know what you mean about not being against formula and wanting to breastfeed. Don't let anyone put you down. You take such good care of your babies. Jackson is so active, smart and loves food! You are doing a great job! He's going to be fine because you will do what it takes and care. You guys are in my prayers. Even though we don't know each other in person I feel as if you are my friend. If you ever need a mom to talk to I'm here girl 💕 Motherhood is hard and emotional. We are all in this together! Judgment free 🥰 No mother is perfect.

Aww my gosh Kayla! Don’t feel bad at all! I can relate to this so much, I have been pumping since I had to go back to work when my baby was 5 months and it is so hard, my milk supply has been getting so low as the months go on and I am not pumping much at all and my baby just loves her bottles while I’m at work, she also hates formula so I am constantly pumping and trying to get enough milk for her. You should definitely pump first thing in the morning as your milk will build up during the night and you should get a lot more than when you pump before bed. Jackson is a beautiful baby and he will grow and put on weight just fine, you are a beautiful Mom and Jackson and Riley are lucky to have you! My baby girl is smiling looking at your video as I type this, thank you for this video because it has helped me so much to know I am not alone and that pumping isn’t as some mothers make it look!

Kayla, thank you so much for sharing this. Your situation with Riley is eerily similar to my experience with my baby. I haven’t been able to form the words to describe those feelings, even one year postpartum. Thank you so so much for this video. I’m actually sending this video to my husband because he hasn’t understood what I’ve gone through. Thank you so much. Also, I know you use the Huckleberry app, and they have a section where you can write down Jackson’s stats after appointments! ❤️

You are doing the BEST you can! We all are. The moment you left the pediatrician, you knew you were going to take action. That makes you an excellent mother. ❤️ I won’t share my personal BF story, but man was it rough the first two months. My baby ended up needed a laser procedure under his tongue and upper lip because he was tongue & lip tied. We put so much pressure on ourselves..... you mentioned on IG and in a past video about how social media isn’t real. Well the same thing applies to the mommy side of IG as well. Those photos of overflowing milk bottles are NOT a representation of all of us. Certainly not me. I love you, keep doing what you’re doing! And thank you for this video.

Awe mama, I’m sorry you’re struggling ❤️ sending you love..I don’t have a freezer stash either! I’ve definitely felt inadequate seeing other moms with it, Jackson is going to get there for sure, you’re doing wonderful mama❤️❤️

Breastfeeding is HARD mama. I know when my son was brand new I used the hakka I would get maybe 2 oz in a whole day and I felt terrible. I would hide it from my husband because I was so embarrassed. We supplemented with formula for a while until his weight gain picked up. Now that I'm back at work I pump 4x a week and it takes me 30-40 minutes and 2 letdowns to get 3-4oz combined on both breasts. I would see posts from moms who were getting 16oz every morning and feel so inadequate. But you are totally right - your worth isn't defined by how much you can produce! You're doing your best to take care of your little one and that's all we moms can do. There's so much pressure being a mom and with feeding our littles. It really helps to see you post about this and know that we aren't alone. 💜

So many hugs! With my first baby, everything about breastfeeding was easy as it could be. He latched, he ate and gained weight without much effort from me. He was 28 lbs by his 6 month appointment just from my breastmilk. When I got pregnant with my second, I assumed the same would happen especially since I was still nursing my first. I was so wrong! She latched but wasn’t transferring breastmilk well. She lost so much weight that they had me do a weighted feed for her which is where we learned she wasn’t getting much milk from me and they couldn’t figure out why. I seen 4 lactation consultants who said everything was perfect and they couldn’t tell me what else but pump and feed her. I struggle so much with pumping that I only can get 6 ounces after pumping for 40 minutes. You are doing amazing!!!!

Thank you Kayla for sharing!!! I have been beating myself up these past couple days

Needed this. Thank you for your vulnerability.

I also couldn’t stand the sound of the pumping machine as it sounded so unnatural. So I switched to hand expressing with haakas, it doesn’t hurt as much, I got more milk out of each session and the cleanup is way easier. Thank you for being so open on this topic, breastfeeding isn’t easy and I wish more people would talk about it!

Thank you for being real. I am going through the same issue. What has helped me is manually expressing. I watched a video of a mom at a hospital is super old here in KZfaq. You express with your hand as a "C". I understand your struggle, I am there. But,, you should know that you are an awesome mom.

God bless you! ❤️ I hate pumping...I was like you, would pump and not get much and would see others pumping ounces and ounces. But, I decided I would not pay attention because I knew my baby was getting what he needed because he was growing, happy, and slept well. I've also heard that baby's can express milk better than a pump. So that also reassured me. My biggest tip is to let baby feed whenever he wants because this is direct communication with your body to make more. Sent with love. 💕

Thank you for sharing, I can definitely relate. There were multiple setbacks on my part as well as my son, which made our breastfeeding journey short lived. So I commend you on still trying! You are an amazing mama!

Thanks so much for sharing. I needed to hear this today. Latching was a challenge from the off, so I think that didn't help my supply come in. A midwife told me to stop supplementing with formula as my supply will never improve, so I did. And my baby changed from being a really content baby to just miserable. It was clear, She was starving. Today we really have pushed the feeding including formula and she's so much perkier and happier. I find It hard to see I can't provide that for her. Breastfeeding is something I've always wanted to do, and it's just not gone to plan. I'm still trying, and I am starting to pump more than I have (still limited). We just need to decide if its worth pushing through and seeing if it does improve, and cope with my mental struggles through this challenge. It really is an emotional roller-coaster and always worrying if I'm not feeding and providing for my child enough. Sometimes I feel we would both be happier and less stressed if we just did formula, but I don't know if I'm ready to quit trying yet.

This was exactly me. I never had a great supply, and even when my daughter was 6 months I was breastfeeding 9-10 times a day still. And overnight like 2-3 times. I was doing everything I could to keep my supply up and my mental health was suffering. I eventually made the decision to start the transition to formula shortly after her 6 month appointment. I started dropping feeds in the middle of the day and eventually only was breastfeeding morning and night. By 7 months she was completely weaned and my happiness and mental health SKYROCKETED. I am so so grateful and happy I was able to breastfeed as long as I did. But I am also so glad I made the switch! Pumping was also the worst. I hated it. It’s time consuming and I also would only get 2-3 ounces at a time. And it also felt like I was taking away from my daughters supply if I pumped. You are so not alone momma. Wanted to end this comment with YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOTHER! The love you have for Riley and Jackson is palpable. You have helped me with baby led weaning and sleep training my daughter. I am so glad I found your channel and I love following you along your journey through life. I hope you can find some balance with breastfeeding soon, and please remember you are a rockstar for going this long. You are a rockstar for doing everything in your power to continue. YOU GOT THIS KAYLA! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I'm not a mother yet but I just wanted to say that you are an awesome mom and a really kind and beautiful person! You will figure this out and Jackson will gain weight, you got this

Hi Kayla, thank you for opening up about this and your feelings. I just wanted to say that you are not alone, and that I feel you. I felt those exact feelings when I had to stop breastfeeding at 4 months because I didn’t have enough milk, even after trying everything (lactation consultants, pumping after every feeding, and even medication..). It made me so sad, and I felt like my body was failing my baby. Oh, and I also was never really leaking except a few days when my milk came in and I was feeding on one side... I finally made peace with it, and both my baby and I are happier now that she is on formula, even though it still makes me sad when I think about it, and I miss it a lot...

Love listening to you and your stories love you all to pieces

Hi Kayla, I understand your feelings. I'm glad you reached out. I think everybody has been offering good advice. I'm going to repeat something that I've said before. You are very hard on yourself. I think you should "let yourself alone". :-) This is something we mothers are not very good at. We blame ourselves for everything. But we've all seen what a good mother you are. You are indeed a rock star Mom. Hugs and lots of love.

What great timing for this video for me. I have a three week old and we have been struggling with breastfeeding. He eats formula and I pump every 2-3 hours, and power pump, for him but I only get an ounce (or less) each time. Because I know my supply is so low I don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding him because I can’t see what he is getting. When we do breastfeed he gets so frustrated and gets a bottle right after. He had low blood sugar when he was born and needed formula right away. With it being my first baby I didn’t understand how to keep my milk supply up and now it’s a struggle. Yesterday I was feeling so down about it, it’s hard not to feel inadequate. Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️

I feel you. I got really depressed about my milk supply when I just started nursing. One thing that did help my supply I felt, was drinking alpina avena oatmeal smoothies (super delicious!) and oatmeal cookies. You’re doing awesome and the best you can!!

Your open chat brought back heavy emotions and thoughts i had when I had my baby 2 weeks after you had Jackson. BF-ing was a horrible experience for me unfortunately cos I couldnt get him to latch. Like you said, pumping only such a nightmare. It was a very lonely experience and felt unnatural. I had to do formula right from the start and eventually stopped the EP when my baby turned 6 months. People judging or worse, me judging my self worth really hit me then. Inadequate the max. Thanks for sharing your story. You are a great mum! Eating those supplements and lactation cookies at Jackson’s 10th month isnt easy. You rocked!

You're doing great! I struggled with nursing so much and ended up exclusively pumping. It was an emotional journey for me as well, I hated pumping and the sound, and getting up every 3 hours even through the night to do it worried about my milk supply. We got through it though, and a fed baby is best.

Your a great mother.... no one can be greater mother then self ....

For the first week of my son being born, I pumped around the clock. My husband and I would celebrate when I got 1 milliliter of colostrum... My husband would bottle feed my son donated breast milk while I pumped and it killed me, being on the other side of the room and not ever participating in feedings. When we were sent home from the hospital 6 days later and I still had nothing to feed my baby, we chose formula. I went back and forth on the decision 100 times, but I felt so free when I finally decided to close the book. Feed him formula and BE PRESENT. You are a rockstar and you might feel a billion burdens lighter if you decide to close the book. Love your family and your videos 💛

Aww Kayla, you're an amazing mom! There are many times I pump and only get an ounce also. You aren't alone ❤️

I feel this so much. Our babes are very close in age and at almost 10 months, my supply is dropping. I cried watching this because it is so emotional seeing little milk come out when pumping. I continue to try all the things to boost supply! Just want to say you are not alone and you are a great mama to your babies!! 💙💕💙💕

Feel for you Kayla ❤️ You are a great mom. Try not to let this little set back get into your heart or threaten your self worth as a mother! These things happen and then they pass. Ps I don’t have a huge supply but I pump in the morning to increase how much I’m making. I only get enough to mix into baby girl’s cereal but definitely find mornings are the most productive time to pump. Hope this helps!

SAME. Baby is 9 months old, we switched to formula exclusively 1-2 months ago due to lack of supply/inefficient latch. Omg I grieved the loss of nursing so much, even tho it was never easy for us. Pumping is so hard. You are a wonderful mom for giving J your all 💗

Oh mama I feel your pain. I’m a lactation consultant, keep pumping (even if you don’t get anything you’re still going to stimulate supply) when you can and try to get his extra calories with food! At his age that’s the easiest way to increase his weight. Also, getting 2oz when you’re breastfeeding already is great, if you’re skipping a feed and pumping instead 2-4 oz would be normal, so pumping and getting ANYTHING is a bonus when you’re already breastfeeding ❤️❤️. If you’re wanting to increase your supply you can look into moringa as well instead of fenugreek and if you take fenugreek it works best with milk thistle (or blessed thistle) or if it’s decreasing around your menstrual cycle you can take calcium magnesium supplements. It’s also normal that you don’t leak, not everyone leaks, it’s not an indication of milk supply.

You almost made me cry. I also had my baby in the NICU because i got fever when i was pushing so they gave me tylenol or something in between pushing so she ended in the NICU for a week because while she was there she was started to get yellow so she needed to stay. I think the supply is relative to your emotions i have a chronic disease so i was told i would the pain back 3months after having her. So i knew that and i wanted to make it worthy. I was blessed to over produce 4-6oz extra per day a lot of water, latching every 2-3hrs pumping 1-2 times per day and relax that is the most important thing relax so you milk get run and if your facing down it comes out more. Dont look at the oz. Be constant and your body will get the message to produce more. I remember the first time the milk came out it was like 15ml you could barely see it but i was so excited and that what made produce more because i didnt focus on ahh i just made this little but on wow i did this much and if i keep trying with the pump i will get more. Now that he's 9m you can give him more food to gain weight like pasta, avocado is healthy fat, rice and banana that increases weight. I have a petite 2.5yr old girl and i have never focus on her weight. I see the chart and as long as she is gaining weight it is ok they need to stay in their curve. My daughter went from 35 percentile to 25 percentile that doctor told me to give her more rice pasta and thing like that but she also told me that she was ok because she gained weight and grow and she was still in her curve but if she goes down more and lost weight then i have to worry. I would recommend to talk to snackswithjax she is a nutritionist for babies toddler and kids. I follow her on ig amd she give great advices for feeding. And remember if Jackson eats until he is full and gain some ounces he is fine dont worry too much.

Thank you for this! I had my first baby in May and struggled to BF for many reasons. My son had to spend a couple days in the NICU and I have similar feelings to pumping as you because of the trauma of that paired with my anxiety during pumping. My son was mostly formula fed and while most people were very supportive, I felt like a failure since I couldn’t produce much milk no matter what I did. Now he is a chunky and happy 5 month old and I have no regrets, but I felt the same way as you when I was struggling. Hang in there! Jackson will be just fine!

I had low milk supply. I bought flaxseed shakes, tried the pink drink because apparently that helped, and everything I could and I still didn’t get much. You’re not the only one, trust me! 😊 You got this! If you need to switch him to formula, do it! Fed is best ❤️

Thank you for sharing your feeling. I’ve had my first daughter and at her first doctor visit, doc recommended to feed formula since I had not produced much milk and she lost weight in the first week of her birth. I remember crying so hard in front of the doc.. 😢I am pregnant with my second daughter and already a little stressed about how my milk supply will be for this time.. I used to blame myself too but now I know every mother has different milk supply so I won’t stress too much and I’ve got formula ready at home too. You are an amazing mom! ❤️