I am 37 and have been married for 16 years. While I won’t claim to be some master of women or in on the big secret to having a successful marriage, I do have some insights that men should find invaluable. This insight can be summed up in a phrase: traditions are not worthless annoyances. I believe there was a pragmatic reason that our ancestors courted. It was how you learned about the woman or man, yes, but also let you see the real person. Over time you saw them at their best and what they wanted to present to you, but also the ugly things we want to hide but cannot do so for extended lengths of time. Courting is even more valuable today in the instant gratification culture. A sadistic partner would have trouble hiding their proclivities for years, and would rather go after easier marks anyway. Ditch premarital sex. I never even kissed my wife the entire first year we dated. I very much wanted to, of course, and many times I had contemplated how I might talk her into sex. I fought an unending battle against my nature for 4 years, which my wife recognized as a sign of my love and dedication to her. I could’ve just dumped her for an easy woman or had a one night stand, but I refused to give in to my hormones. If you’re with a decent woman, she’ll understand the sacrifice. Last, never let her believe she is indispensable. I had told my wife right from the go that I had lines she may not cross. If she did cross them, our relationship was over. In the same vein, she was not a prisoner. If she was not satisfied, or wanted another man, the door was right over there. I would not harm her or make a scene. I know I am a good man and have much to offer a woman, so I am not going to pled with her to stay while she walks all over me. It was that simple. While I am religious, do NOT assume that a religious woman is automatically a good catch and you can just skip the courting and evaluating phase. Like anyone else, we have faults. There are many good women in the church, but respect both yourself and them by doing it right.

More content please Shawn. Very useful indeed. Thank you

I ended up with the wrong woman living with me. It took a lot of money to get rid of her but I got her out of my life. Thankfully no kids, or marriage so I was lucky there. I ended up with a couple more "wrong women" but I did not let them move in with me so it was easier to say sayonara. As you get further into your career and life it is *way* to risky to let the wrong woman in. Right now I can't tell who is good/bad/indifferent or otherwise so I just don't bother anymore. Interestingly these have been some of the most productive, stress free, and entertaining years of my life.

40 minutes of content, thanks doc!

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this Dr Smith. I greatly appreciate you!

38:30 it's awful when you genuinely care for someone but you recognize a progressively destructive trait that they are unwilling to address. The decision to stop your pursuit because of it feels awful, but it is likely for the best.

I just found your channel and I can’t express the depth of appreciation I have for you and your work, as well as the comfort I get from your words. Thank you sir, thank you so much.

Thank you mr. Smith for sharing the knowledge. I'm reading your book right now!

Due diligence on character.

Vetting for one night stand is not possible.

It"s so important what you said in this vidéo, thank you from a french canadian from Québec City.

In summary: getting with a woman is like playing Russian Roulette with 5 bullets.

Good talk doc!

I'm reading the book. It's great.

Make sure you mention a prenup early in dating, just for her reaction.

When I grew up boys were valued more than girls. As a woman that skewed my view on men, took me quite some time to appreciate men as they are. Kind and strong, mostly.

Is there anyway to contact (email or message) directly to you?

you mean the kind that go home after?

Dr Smith, are there any countries that, in your opinion, have tolerable marriage/divorce laws?

The "Right" Women 😂😂😂

Am I mixing things up or did Socrates give the same speech?

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I wish you made more videos on your own, without the pedestrian input of entrepreneurs in cars.

This is pragmatic, ground level advice in the war of the sexes. What we need is a strategic view of our extant circumstances. Dr. Smith, given your familiarity with David Buss' work, I assume you've asked the same question which immediately occurs to any man who grasps the reality of sexual dimorphism: is it rational to expect male behavior from a female? Our entire democratic legal system is based on the idea of agency. Human females on average have radically different neural architectures, resulting in their experienced reality being fundamentally different to that of human males. Given this, how can we expect women to behave like men? The entire traditional Christian moral framework was designed based upon acceptance of the logos (i.e. order) of the universe. This meant that Christian moral law took sexual dimorphism as an axiom, and legislated sexual relations based upon this fact. This is why there was no "no-fault" divorce, there was no "equality of the sexes", and each sex had different roles and responsibilities. Human societies which do not organize themselves based upon the reality of sexual dimorphism are overrun by those which do. Our entire cultural, social and legal frameworks must be based upon this reality, else we court chaos. No amount of vetting women is going to change the legal and cultural incentives they have to indulge their most destructive female instincts. This is not a problem we can solve by individual male vigilance and ever more stringent vetting. Although your advice in this video is useful, it is ultimately a coping strategy in a war we are losing. It is up to men to lead society. If we simply retreat from this responsibility, we will be conquered by men who do not.

35:50 you see this behavior in female spiders, right? There's always exceptions to the animal kingdom

Okay, I thought this was going to be about the right women and it's the exact same talk as the one on here on keeping away the wrong ones.

I am astonished that ADJ gave you the right to use this.

Brown watch band and black belt? "Silk" shirt with jeans? You'll never get a decent woman until you find someone that can dress you.