BTT # 40 - When Men Settle For Less

Рет қаралды 45,815

Күн бұрын

Many men deal with social anxiety, and end up settling for someone they're either not attracted to, or may have a few red flags that you brush off as quirks. In this episode we discuss how settling can lead to major train wrecks in a mans life.
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#DatingAdvice #MarriageAdvice #BeforeTheTrainWreck

Пікірлер: 128

@jaredmello 4 жыл бұрын

Lot of the guys asking rich what they should do in their lives sound like they are trying to get someone else to make decisions for them. They dont want to take responsibility for making their own decisions. They need to own what they want in life and then act decisively

@BG-sq7zf 4 жыл бұрын

True on what you just said. At the same time, there are many, many younger guys and adults who have no clue when it comes to deal with relationships, much less women's nature. To me, It is totally OK to ask questions, it is fine to ask for help, it is acceptable to look up for someone who may had been burned (like Cooper) and who are into a better position to impart any advise into us. It is totally acceptable to admit that many guys out there who don't their life together. We are all into this....

@TheGreatest727 4 жыл бұрын

To be fair. Most are young guys who are on the right path by seeking advice from the right places.

@jaredmello 4 жыл бұрын

kcramsib yes that is true. I give them credit for investing in themselves and doing something

@jaredmello 4 жыл бұрын

Regan Martin yes I give them credit for investing in themselves and asking for help.

@MrBenji1059 4 жыл бұрын

well said @ Mello

@keeperofknowledge4120 4 жыл бұрын

That scenario with the 40 year old women is a classic case study of a woman that rode the CC in her 20s and probably 30s, now she wants a guy that has killed himself in his career to be captain save a hoo. No way man. Better to be single than settle for that. Guys, never get into a LTR with a woman that is older than you. Deep down, she won't respect you because she has more life experience than you. Men as the leaders, women should be younger and less experienced so she can look up to you. That's what they want deep down, but won't admit. Just like the 40 year old really wants a family, but wasted her youth on the bad boys.

@recyclespinning9839 4 жыл бұрын

Ha, most women today have more sexual experience at the age of 21 than most men can have in their lifetime....😂

@blthetube1 4 жыл бұрын

Do not settle... You will know when it feels right or if there is any hope of a successful relationship. If you can't bring yourself to commit, it's because you sense something is wrong or missing and you will not get over it. Men need to spend more time assessing and building on their strengths to better isolate their confidence in decision making, Especially when it comes to women.

@VicDamoneJr82 4 жыл бұрын

I love how Rich detects bs and makes the callers think more ... respect

@moemoe7022 3 жыл бұрын

100% spot on I noticed that to much respect Rich

@KJ-pu8dw 4 жыл бұрын

Even if a guy been seeing a girl for a couple of years this is very different to living with the person! Also never ever move into her place. You will be in her frame.

@justingarcia4523 4 жыл бұрын

Lost 151 pounds to date. I'm also sick of my job & starting my own Amazon FBA buisness to start building my own dream & assets. I dont care if it kills me, I cant stand building someone elses dream

@hanleybooth5088 Жыл бұрын

Making sense of the breakup, figuring out what really happened is the key to getting over it. Unfortunately, until you can put the pieces of the puzzle together it is very difficult to get through it. Also, she won't tell you, it will take you working to figure it out.

@VoiceOfThe 4 жыл бұрын

Recently discovered this channel and this series. Can’t stop watching!

@filipefigueiredo9847 4 жыл бұрын

Same here, Rich and Shawn balance each other very well I don't like when there's a bunch of guys repeating each other's words and agreeing on everything 100%, that doesn't add any value in my opinion These two provide different perspectives to the same kind of problems, that's why I love this show Anyway, have a great day man

@ahastar1141 4 жыл бұрын

Office romance in the "me too era" is a trap, especially with some significant age difference. I would say avoid it

@chelsear.2658 4 жыл бұрын

I would say that many women also settle in relationships waiting for “mr checks all the boxes” until it’s biologically too late, instead of actively chasing female excellence and high-value, to be a contributing and valuable partner in a relationship. Women can chase excellence too! Although in different ways and we have a shorter window of time to do so.

@rafaelvern 2 жыл бұрын

Women should chase excellence in being a compliment to men, being a great mother to kids and amazing queen of the house! Grass is greener where you water it!

@brentrichburg4402 4 жыл бұрын

You guys are the dynamic duo! Great job.

@romualdaskuzborskis 4 жыл бұрын

I just had to bring that "kick-start my heart" soundtrack in the background after rich mentioned it :D

@leonardcarino8441 4 жыл бұрын

For Shawn, I'd recommend reading Mastery by Robert Greene. In the book, he touched on a topic about combining your different interests and passions to eventually create your own unique niche.

@JCnordic2983 4 ай бұрын

Great banter Guys!

@raydavies5249 3 жыл бұрын

Always Great! Thanks Rich!

@tmultd8070 4 жыл бұрын

Best podcast you will listen to today!

@sin_champloo277 4 жыл бұрын

3:12 Did he said "Gorillaz" cuz the band isn't new, even if they made some stuffs in this era

@ShawnTSmith 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, you caught me. They've been around for a while, but the weren't the music I grew up with, that's all I meant.

@majorkade 4 жыл бұрын

Daryl Hall & John Oates. My kind of 80s music.

@carter102 4 жыл бұрын

I find this was the case often. Women in their 30's telling me I better move fast, cause they want a baby and time is of the essence. It's not my problem they frittered their youth away. I'm not popping out a kid with a woman I've known for 6 months. I just got out of a hellish 10 year relationship, and sometimes I get a bit lonely, I'm dating, but I don't want to ever be miserable and locked into a relationship with someone who treats me like dirt.

@matt5745 4 жыл бұрын

Shawn T Smith is 💯 correct about the Masters in Social Work program. The privileges at the highest licensure is similar, but an MSW seems much much more advocacy and lobbyist focused than clinical. There are some great clinicians with MSWs but the program really is more towards agency and govt policy reform, and medical care advocacy and assistance.

@MusiciLoveYouuu 4 жыл бұрын

Great video Rich. Was curious if you can lead me towards the information you mentioned about a first date. You mentioned first date shouldn’t be for food and when you’re paying. Should be drinks or coffee ? Can help me find the video on that

@tym5583 4 жыл бұрын

Have a lil more respect for u Rich cuz boiler room is phenomenal lol! Wish there were more movies like that Haha

@EntrepreneursInCars 4 жыл бұрын

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@drip369 2 жыл бұрын

I definitely get you on the music of the 70s and 80s, but definitely not the fashion

@davatorres10 3 жыл бұрын

Computer music can have the same effort and dedication that 80's - 90's hits.

@AudioBookKnowledge 4 жыл бұрын

Conk loves Meshuggah. Noted that Conk is super awesome.

@NethervvoidBuilds 4 жыл бұрын

15:49 I swear I thought he was going to say 'I worked at the Ministry of Magic.' hahahaha!

@majorkade 4 жыл бұрын

I've watched a number of the music reaction channels where Elvis' live performances are played. if we simply think women (girls of all ages) don't appreciate a man's looks the way men do women's, well, Elvis flips that script. I have never seen so many women comment on a man's face and sex appeal, and saying they would gladly have sex with him. Talk about an Alpha.

@MediumRareOpinions 4 жыл бұрын

Let's not forget how scandalously sexual his performance was in the context of his time. They go wild for a man who's unashamed to display his sexuality.

@Savvynomad225 4 жыл бұрын

Name a rock star from any era, same result.

@romualdaskuzborskis 4 жыл бұрын

Well Elvis had the looks. Try Prince for that matter - dude could nearly classify as midget and every woman around was dripping wet for him. I am not a fan of Prince but damn I really can appreciate his effort.

@squarepeg9484 4 жыл бұрын

Everyone should aim to be able to say ‘I can’t be fired’. The day I could say that, was the day I knew I’d *arrived*.

@theguy9067 4 жыл бұрын

It's not just Elvis. Looks have ALWAYS factored into a man's smv, however looks has recently become a factor with more impact because a man's utility as value has dropped since women also make money and if not they are taken care of by the government. This is partly the cause of what one can call the gender attraction crisis. The current state that we are in is unnatural

@lappoo5875 4 жыл бұрын

"i'm not getting any help from my parents... i mean, i'm living rent-free."

@dpfljr 4 жыл бұрын

🤣

@charlesosimeon6375 4 жыл бұрын

😂

@steeletaylor8079 4 жыл бұрын

Hilarious. And shouldnt his honour demand that he pay something at least

@sendtacos1824 4 жыл бұрын

I just ordered the tactical guide to women.

@sendtacos1824 4 жыл бұрын

@K9 1 is more like vetting than attracting. Im in a relationship already but extra knowledge won't hurt.

@dpfljr 4 жыл бұрын

For me there was a lot of online disasters and then there was a forty something who was a divorcee and empty nester; I also had no game. Those things ended up screwing me over

@majorkade 4 жыл бұрын

Hope you're okay now. Treacherous out there.

@dpfljr 4 жыл бұрын

@@majorkade I am doing better

@benoitpetry7864 4 жыл бұрын

Did you learn game?

@dpfljr 4 жыл бұрын

In the process

@dpfljr 4 жыл бұрын

That is I am

@The_Stark_Contrast 3 жыл бұрын

30 years old. Woke up every morning watching Gilligans Island reruns. Ginger seed, Mary Ann need!

@dangersmymiddlename6341 4 ай бұрын

Why not both?

@dangersmymiddlename6341 4 ай бұрын

And at the same time.

@kevinjohnson8220 3 жыл бұрын

It's looking like Dr Smith here is the Rich Whisperer

@vladimirpastukhov7538 3 жыл бұрын

@39:25 captain saveahoe lmao

@YoungMiddleMan 4 жыл бұрын

Guerrilla plug ...feel good inc

@ggrthemostgodless8713 4 жыл бұрын

What group is that... guerrilla or gorilla ?? Link??

@L8rSk8r_ 4 жыл бұрын

@@ggrthemostgodless8713 search Gorillaz-Feel Good Inc.

@fraudsarentfriends4717 4 жыл бұрын

Should be retitled "When men realize less is more"

@DamaniJones 4 жыл бұрын

Our boy Andy sounds a bit spergie’, I hope he just finishes school and works on developing himself. I feel for these engineering majors.

@ahastar1141 4 жыл бұрын

I would be wary of robs situation with the 18 years younger 23-year-old woman at work. That seems like a classic "Me too" trap if I ever saw one.....

@Zenmoney008 4 жыл бұрын

When are you going to do another video I got to get in on the next one I got some s*** to tell you

@EntrepreneursInCars 4 жыл бұрын

Every other Monday.

@r3d_ti3_guy 4 жыл бұрын

Andy, the ROI for finishing school in your field is very low considering the grand scheme of life. I’d finish school personally.

@sagepirotess6312 4 жыл бұрын

On music i disagree. I never cared for music first 30 years in the usa. Started traveling the world and i know far more bands, songs and such then i ever did in the USA.

@paulstaples6590 4 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately one cannot tell themselves who to fall in love with, that's why they call it falling into love .attractions are not a logical choice. If one is always picking the damaged goods remember , those desires go deep. Nobody can really tell themselves ,,,oh I think I'll be attracted to this person of that person. Water rises to its own level, you walk into a room, women read your body language, then chemistry takes over.

@paulstaples6590 4 жыл бұрын

@Jared Caldwell Unfortunately your right ,we live in a society with a lack of old fashioned values and replaced with a quick fix . But I do believe that one can fall in love with someone who will destroy them even when they don't want to fall in love , nature has made it so love usually starts with an attraction .so if one is attached to unhealthy people that is a tuff habit to break.

@dangersmymiddlename6341 4 ай бұрын

Love is an idea, a concept.

@tyleraustin33 4 жыл бұрын

I'm 24 and I got the Mary-Ann and Ginger reference. Maybe that makes me weird haha. By the way, I would have to go with Mary-Ann. Am I the only one who thinks Mary-Ann is hotter than Ginger?

@martyhafermann938 4 жыл бұрын

Motley rules🤘

@chrisnamaste3572 4 жыл бұрын

MaryAnne for life.

@RandomFaxx 2 жыл бұрын

In today's day and age, you would be hard-pressed to find a woman that wouldn't think you are a total weirdo for waiting 60 days before having sex with her, and she would most likely bail on you long before 60 days end.

@iamalignedandfocused5452 3 жыл бұрын

1348 angel number alignment synchronicity sign

@rosecova530 4 жыл бұрын

The “captain save a hoe” story was such a trainweck 😂

@Sisterlisk 4 жыл бұрын

When a clinical psychologist recommends something, you shouldn't laugh and call him a prude. I'm kind of the same way as Shawn. Bit of a "freak" (nothing extreme), but I keep my urges under control because I know the consequences of instant gratification. I get that you're trying keep your viewership up, though. And you won't do that by telling the guys to wait it out.

@EntrepreneursInCars 4 жыл бұрын

The good Doctor is a big boy, he can take a joke.

@Sisterlisk 4 жыл бұрын

@@EntrepreneursInCars Yeah yeah. I just took it to heart myself because I have the same views.

@Th3_Gael 4 жыл бұрын

Only way this could be better would be if it took place in a car

@wesleybeavers1930 4 жыл бұрын

Rich, you could have listened to Fuel by Metallica, that would have made more sense is all I'm saying. Great show thanks to you both.

@TILLEYJS 4 жыл бұрын

Also another great workout song.

@greatredshrike1234 3 жыл бұрын

Real late to the party, but the two guys getting AASs in electrical engineering...the realistic price difference between the AAS and BS is less than 20% salary on average. The biggest advantage of the BS is being able to go for your PE later and most of the AAS engineering credits don't transfer to the BS, at least here anyway. And the dude around 1:25:00. LCSWs are horrible. It's a good way to end up sub$75k the rest of your life with a masters.

@YoungMiddleMan 4 жыл бұрын

That is this for our time

@kevinjohnson8220 3 жыл бұрын

You know, there is a retro genre of music out there. The Soundtrack of Our Lives, for example, sounds like a combination of the Stooges and Tommy era Who from a parallel universe. They're from Sweden. There is lots of great music still being made. You both sound like boomers and I'm 11 years older than you, Rich

@bill74ish 3 жыл бұрын

Mr. Scary in a Ferrari. Try it

@JohnnyRebKy Жыл бұрын

When you share a home and have a family with someone I don’t call it cheating. I call it TREASON. I have no forgiveness for someone who commits treason against the home and family.

@Solaris501 4 жыл бұрын

The engineer who called should continue school. The guy has zero charisma and needs the piece of paper.

@tomburroughes9834 4 жыл бұрын

Stevie Ray Vaughan vs Justin Bieber. We have declined a long way.

@bos_outsider 4 жыл бұрын

Personally speaking There are two sides the one who chose and another one who chosen If she ( younger then you ) wants to be with you just wait let the time sink because time changes everyone. Humans are not perfect. Most of the 40 years old woman had a lot of FUN with the bad boys. After they get Sıked by bad boys they need man who work like slave and saved a lot money.

@rosegailpeirson7642 4 жыл бұрын

Never date a girl who is too personal on social media. Three days ago I noticed a ex being love bombed after knowing her two months. After dealing with a narcissist employer, I could tell she was one. Just today she blasted on social media that he physically abused her and was arrested. Full details of everything he did to her, playing total victim. Yet, leaving out anything she did. I know he has a bad temper and this is possible BUT I could see she used this situation for narcissistic supply. Sympathy, attention and drama. Now she is a hero on Instagram for coming forward being a survivor. He looks like a horrible monster.

@trickytrini2200 4 жыл бұрын

*Adding ‘Kickstart My Heart’ to Spotify playlist “0-60 real quick”*

@TILLEYJS 4 жыл бұрын

Great workout song.

@rullangaar 4 жыл бұрын

Dr Shawn says to wait 60 days. That seems like an eternity to me. I’m a third date and it’s happening or I’m out kind of guy, then again I haven’t been in a good ltr for quite a while now.

@TILLEYJS 4 жыл бұрын

Indeed. 3 dates. That's enough time for sex anyway. And the herpes. I like to live dangerously lol.

@dangersmymiddlename6341 4 ай бұрын

Did someone say “dangerously?” I too like to live my life “dangerously!”

@dangersmymiddlename6341 4 ай бұрын

I too like to live life “dangerously.”

@StyleAndSpeedx 4 жыл бұрын

Shawn seems like a good guy but I feel like he's either somewhat purple pilled or holds back on saying certain things because of fear of his career.

@jessiecarrillo7839 4 жыл бұрын

Of course. He probably has more to lose than most people in this comment section.

@VoiceOfThe 4 жыл бұрын

They complement each other well. Rich gives you cold, hard truth bombs. Shawn is more of a pragmatist.

@ShawnTSmith 4 жыл бұрын

Bullshit. I say what I want. The worst anyone can do is take my license, and that wouldn't change my life one bit.

@jorgeferreiro9783 4 жыл бұрын

As a retired physician I would caution Shawn to be very careful about medical school and do the math. Going in to debt to go to medical school will likely not pay unless you go into a specialty with high income after. Pediatrics, family medicine and psychiatry will not cut it. Please run the numbers. Medical school may not pay. I was lucky and got the military to pay for my education.

@HTAKJGW 4 жыл бұрын

Shawn is the anti poon.

@paulstaples6590 4 жыл бұрын

You can't be cheated unless you put yourself in a position to be cheated.

@benoitpetry7864 4 жыл бұрын

Hypergamy?

@barefoothippielibtard9691 4 жыл бұрын

Benoit Petry Pick a decent woman?

@teamsalvation 4 жыл бұрын

Lol he thinks Gorillaz is new!! 🤣 Billy Elliot, and evening then.... yup y’all dated.

@Leshenka 4 жыл бұрын

Gorillaz are a new band? Motley Crew is a cool band? Wow, these guys should really stick to their usual material :)))

@AmmarNomani 2 жыл бұрын

I am in a sexless marriage cause I got into arranged marriage without ever meeting her. She looked way different than her pictures. I have contemplated suicide many times. Your testosterone takes a dive. From having sex for 40 minutes, now I can barely get it up in 15 months. FML

@honor9lite1337 8 ай бұрын

Can't you doing divorce procedure?

@AmmarNomani 8 ай бұрын

social/family pressure too much @@honor9lite1337