Hi Cara, I am currently a 2nd year JET and I just made the decision to not do a 3rd year (after debating/wavering for the past 2 months). Yes, it makes me sad to think about leaving my students and this grand Japan adventure, but also my heart felt instantly lighter and relieved once I signed the papers. Though I don't see a long term future in Japan (for many of the reasons you mentioned), I don't regret my time here as I have grown immensely as a person. I have proved that I can be independant and strong on my own when I encountered hardships, but I don't have to stay in a situation what makes me face so many obstacles. Hopefully I will be able to bring some of the patience and cooperation skills that I have learned while working in the Japanese workforce too. And the dating/friendship thing! You hit the nail on the head! It's so lonely and isolating, I felt so discarded/unwanted by Japanese people and it was really effecting my own view of myself and my worth (terrible how a society/culture can completely dim your personality and take all your confidence away...) I constantly felt the pressure to shrink myself and not be as noticeable (which will always be impossible as a gaijin). I thought I should not talk too loud or say too much, not wear shoes with heels so I wasn't tallest person in the room, not wear too much make up or flashy clothes... After a year and a half of that, I want the freedom to be myself and not second guess my choices based on what others will say/think. I want that piece of my soul back. I want more happiness than Japan can offer me, so it's time to go search for it somewhere else. I am glad that I saw this video, because this confirms that I also made the right decision for my future and I am excited to see where it leads me. Best of luck to you, as well!

"I'm Asian but I'm not Japanese. I'm a foreigner but I'm not blond" Yes, sister. I'm feeling you. It's totally tough living here in Japan. Wishing you the best. I'm so happy for you.^-^

One thing I’ve learnt being here now for 10 months that if you want to be more accepted your more or less have to conform however in doing so you lose touch with who you are naturally. I guess it’s why its hard here for anyone not Japanese and in the long run it’s just starts to eat you up from the inside. Not being real it’s just so unnatural.

Hi Cara, I've been watching your videos from the start. I'm sad that you had to leave Japan, but I am also happy that you are much happier now.

Glad you evolved and moved on with your life. It's a brave thing to take the reigns of life and navigate your true course. Nice to know you.

I feel you! Good luck to you girl! Enjoy life

Good to see you’re making videos again Cara! I’m glad you got out of that depression. That sure isn’t easy to do :( I relate to you a lot when it comes to the energy levels! Leaving a place is hard but if your heart and mind isn’t in then, it’s better to find a place where you feel accepted and at home. I really admire your determination and courage. You really are an inspiration! Can’t wait to see what happens next on your adventure :)

I stumbled upon this video while searching for videos about theJet Program. I got more than what I expected and needed especially in the video where you cried while talking about how the program has changed your life. You can tell from your videos that you have an awesome personality.. the kind that most would want to be friends with. I’m inspired by how honest you are to yourself and how you do the things that you know would make you happy. 🥺 Good luck on your new life in New York. New subscriber here!💓

I totally understand where you're coming from, i consider it important to find something you can do for work without being drained by the way you have to act there so i think you made a good decision! You seem happy :)

Your opinions and position and everything is sooo spot on! I’m ready to go back to NY after living in Tokyo for a few years. I love your comparison of being in like a toxic relationship with Japan. I love it but I know it’s not the best/healthiest option for me. Just seeing you in NY brought up so many good memories of being in the big city. I’m ready to close my chapter here and move forward now. Thank you for your insight!

Thank you for being so genuine :) look fwd to more New York videos :)

I remember I was in a place where I felt equally isolated and would be depressed for long periods of time around the same time you were in Japan. This year I moved to the city I wanted to and life has never been better. It feels like you are on the same page! Thank you for being so honest. I am glad you are at a place where you feel like yourself again. Looking forward to your videos!

Thank you for your honest thoughts about the JET program and living in Japan, warts and all. I’m applying to JET this year and your videos have been incredibly helpful. Glad to hear you’re living your best life now out in NYC!

Welcome to NY! Sometimes I get tired of my city but other times I'm reminded of why I love it. The spontaneity, the freedom to be yourself, it's something I would miss if I were to move. My friend recently came back from vacation in Japan and felt something like what you did despite being there for only 2 weeks. She said it was a nice place to visit but she can't imagine staying long term as it felt like the locals were reserved and more concerned with maintaining social conformity and harmony than anything else. She felt like it was difficult to just strike up conversations with a local and get an impression of a person's individual personality.

Hi Caradventures! I just recently found your channel and your videos, especially the later ones, have had a big impact on me. I am an aspiring JET and I have my interview in Chicago this week. So many of the points you make, like Japanese culture generally being much less confrontational and people preferring not to speak openly and directly to one another honestly about their feelings in the name of social harmony, hit home. I am a very open person and believe in having a honest and open dialog, this would drive me crazy! Secondly, I live in northern Minnesota and suffer from seasonal affective disorder, I understand that it's a big factor where you taught your first year in Niigata. Thirdly, I know full well what it is like to live with loneliness and isolation from the summer I spent in my hometown after all my friends had moved away to different states or even different countries. I fear my absolute beginner Japanese really will stop me from making friends outside the 'JET Bubble' and I will end up isolated (I tend towards introversion). This leads to my forth point, which is learning Japanese. English is my native language but I am bilingual thanks to some amazing friends I met from mexico in college. I learned Spanish on my own and with some help from my friends (and am still learning, it is part of my life now) and it took many years of hard work just to reach the point I am now where I can have a conversation. I know I will always use Spanish because of my friends and the Spanish speakers all over the united states. I know Japanese is much harder to learn then Spanish coming from and English background, but I know I could learn it, its all about chipping away and working at least a little every day. That being said I don't have plans to live in Japan and hearing JETs advise other JETs who are leaving Japan to drop their Japanese studies fills me with a loss of purpose. Japanese is so unique in that it really is only used in one country in the world and if I'm not going to live in Japan it would be hard to motivate myself to learn such a difficult language. I love Spanish and I really do love Japanese as well but it useful scope is so so so much narrower. Finally, after reading online posts from all kinds of different JET's, I get this sneaking suspicion that JET for a lot of people(not all) is a way for people to put off getting a quote ""real job"", even if some JET's don't realize that is what they are doing until two or three years in; and so subsequently life after JET can be hard. I know I would get a lot out of the program regardless, we can all learn from good experiences as well as bad, but if I already feel this way before starting what does that mean? I have so much excitement for Japan at the same time, it really would be life changing one way or another, but I can't shake this feeling. Sorry for the super long post! I really value your opinion one way or another! cheers :)

I learn a lot from your videos Cara :) Thanks for being real.

I'm currently in Japan and it's only my first year but a few months in I realized Japan wasn't for me. I had been a few times before and ethnically I am Japanese but I just haven't been able to connect here. My school situation is hard because I was placed in a school where no one speaks English (preschool) so communication has had its issues but i've learned and have been able to get by but it makes me lonely. I realized I barely talk at work, only when I teach or play with the kids. The language I have had a difficult time with as well. I was studying korean more recently and I don't want to forget what I've learned. Trying to keep 2 new languages in my head was hard especially because of my frustrations with Japan having 3 alphabets. And I think I more recently realized, it's hard for me to go from a place like Los Angeles to a rural area. That's just me though, i'm not a big city girl but I am a city girl. I miss the food options the most tho haha With dating too, in general i've given up on even possibly meeting someone ahah not many people here speak enough english for us to even be language partners lol Lastly, because I am Japanese American I get a lot of judgement for not knowing the language and culture as well. With them not even realizing why my family assimilated to American culture. If i were blonde with blue eyes, no one would even question but my family hasn't lived in Japan for almost 100 years now. By my generation, you're lucky if we even want to learn our people's language. So i'm ready to go home. I'm not resigning. Being in Japan did help me figure out my next steps so i'm grateful for that. I'd like to just come to Japan as a tourist and not live here

Dropping in kinda late (I'm terrible at keeping up with videos) but I just gotta say, everything in your video is just FEELS. I totally agree and feel the same with everything you felt. I also left Japan last year for similar reasons and similar feels. It's definitely the Asian foreigner part of us that makes our experiences and thoughts similar, because my Caucasian foreigner friends all have very different experiences, usually better ones. It's even harder when my Japanese level is like N5 level. Anyways I hope you're having a wonderful time in the big apple. Stay safe Lam sister!

I heard you were in Japan during the JET orientation this year....I wish I knew that, I would've loved to say hello! It's great seeing how relaxed and happy you look in this video. Your smile is shining! I'm really glad you've been able to find a good place for yourself to heal c:

I'm also very conflicted and was searching for people who've had similar experiences/impressions since majority of feedback to discrimination stories was also 'that's the culture, if you don't like it don't go'. So thanks a lot for sharing your feelings and hope you're staying safe in nyc. Unfortunately completely relate to what you were saying towards the end of your vid about toxic relationships.

Just watch your videos for the first time, I love your energy, subscribed! Come to Toronto next, we're like a chill version of NYC and rent is finally the lowest it's been for years.

I agree 💯! You want to be in an environment that’s gonna fulfill who you are as a person! Happy for you preciosa! Wishing you all the best as always!

Damn that’s crazy, I left 6 months ago with the exact same feelings didn’t cry everyday, but I developed a bad habit with alcohol, it was so bad I was drinking before work and on my way home. As beautiful Japan is, everything felt generic and fake. I lived in Iwakuni for two years and Nagoya for 6 months. I’m glad you shared your story, would love to hear some more. Quick question tho, do you miss the coco’s???

I've lived in the US my whole life and never felt like I fit in here and have had to deal with so much racism (as a brown person), but i guess it just depends on where you go and who you are. Dating culture in the US also has its fair share of problems...i feel like it leans more towards casual relationships and hook ups vs just being single and focusing on yourself until you're ready for a more committed relationship (which is my preference). I think certain personalities fit in with certain cultures more. I'm a more quiet and introverted person so I liked Japan. When I went to NYC and saw so many people screaming on the train it gave me anxiety. The US can be a very lonely place too, its so common to say we should hang out but then never do. I feel like, as an introvert, all the rules made it easier to figure out social interactions compared to in the US where there's too much pressure to be outgoing and "interesting" or "funny". Maybe I'm just boring and not funny tho idk lol. But I like routines and don't want to talk strangers when I'm out and about, just trying to get on with my day.

Few months late to the party, but you literally just popped up in my recommended. Well done on making this video; very brave indeed. Not many people are so honest with *themselves*, yet alone show it to the world. I'm in two minds about JET right now; on the one hand I've seen people leave it and stay, having what seems to be happy lives, but on the other I've seen cases in the media, like what Dentsu did to Matsuri Takahashi and the shameful "punishment" handed down for it, and that honestly scares me.

Hey Carla, just found your channel, and lost a couple of hours just getting to know your views on Japan and life in general. Just had to leave a comment thanking you for being an amazingly open person.

You weren’t alone. I felt the same way and had to leave. But you look so much happy. I’m happy for you.

Honestly, I wondered why you picked New York of all places more than wondered why you left Japan, but I think it's really good to experience New York as long as you can. It's so different from the rest of the country. You go where your heart takes you and you keep making the best of it. You have a really good head on your shoulders having managed to go from JET to Tokyo to New York in just a few years and you have that bravery and charisma to be where you want when it's time to go. I've been applying to the JET program and Interac for .... I think this is my fourth year trying now. It's difficult for me because I AM a designer, I do have tech skills, but I want to be in rural Japan because I think the drastic difference from big city life is the kind of life change I need, even if it only lasts a year or two. I just have this nagging feeling that being in Tokyo doing the same thing I've done for ten years in NY is going to trigger some kind of ultimate depression. I'm not used to being this talkative. I think I've been a subscriber since maybe the second year you were a jet and I'm usually so shy to make comments but once you landed in New York, it's like, OH MY GOD, OUR DAILY LIVES ARE RELATABLE NOW PLEASE EXCUSE THE GARBAGE. :P

Love your videos! I'm also working abroad (not in Japan though) and I totally get you with language barriers. Like even though i know the language pretty well that barrier of not being a native speaker and struggling to understand is too real.

Sorry you went through that. I'm not gonna say you should have done this or that but I've kinda had a different experience. I've had more dates, better luck with jobs, and better mental health since actually moving to Japan. I started watching your videos before moving here and decided on living in Niigata for a year before moving to Chiba. I did all that without being able to really speak Japanese, lots of capital or an engineering background ;p I'm sticking around to eventually do my Master's here as well... Life works out differently for everyone I guess. I hadn't kept up with your videos this year so I'm sorry I couldn't have said something encouraging (not that it would have made a huge difference). All the same, best of luck in NYC!

I loved the honesty.

Damn I just caught on to your channel as currently I am an aspiring JET. I feel like I just saw the last episode of a great series which is unfortunate in a way but from the few videos I have watched I realize I still have heaps to learn about the complexities of Japanese culture and life. If I do get accepted , I'll remember yours and others similar experiences to really express and show how we live in Australia maybe it can plant seeds of ideas into the younger generation that there are other ways to live and you could try and reach the best aspects of both a foreign culture and Japan's culture. I know its a drop in an ocean but as Paul Kelly's (great Australian musician) song goes "From little things big things grow".

This is awesome that's you're so aware of yourself. I lived in Japan for 3 months and at the end decided it was not for me. Still one of my favorite countries in the world.

I'm 34 and from the UK and have been single all my life. I'm not a longer but over think and have anxiety to the extent I don't enjoy living here anymore even though I have a decent job. Been Japan on holiday and it's a dream to live there but, there are so many videos like yours that go against the picturesque image of Japan in my head. I really want to try the jet program but I'm afraid I'll become even more depressed or a recluse.

I know its unrelated to the video itself, but that thumbnail is absolutely amazing!

After over 2 years here, I totally get the dating thing. It can be hard to find romance in Japan for foreigners.

I'm glad you are happy here in NYC! We welcome you! Surprisingly I am a designer who wants to teach for a long time, and I plan to go to the JET so I wonder if it would be easier for someone like me . But not being a native Japanese speaker no matter how hard I try does scare me. "

dont worry you are definitely attractive enough! if those japanese boys cant realise that then its their loss!!! im australian and i think you should never change, you seem more suited to western culture, youre very much an individual and its great! keep doing what youre doing. you will get exactly where you want to be! thank you for all your videos and please keep making them!

I Moved to North America 6 years ago from South Korea and honestly, it's funny how it's the same feeling but in an opposite way for me. I guess where we grow up really influences some preferences in a life. I don't want to go back to Korea but I don't want to live in North America anymore because of racism I've experienced here and also the fact I kinda miss disciplined and respectful people. Oddly enough, I miss being a bit fake and not showing my nature to people. Took me six years to realise this and furthermore, the weather sucks in the city I live (North-East). Graduating my university in two years, then I will be applying for JET. Hopefully, my experience of adapting and accepting different cultures in a different country would be an advantage for me to get accepted :D

I am very sorry that I heard that you had some difficult time in Japan ( I believe that you had lots of great memories with friends too tho).But you are very lucky that you have a country where you can go back and especially beautiful New York City! I’ve been back in Japan from overseas, and having kinda struggling time. I know how Japan very beautiful county is, people is polite, everything is organized, and clean! But as you said in video, I have many opinions and ideas, if I feel not right I just say so,,,, but that can be too much for fitting in Japanese society. For me I need VISA sponsor to move out from Japan, so that mean I will be stuck here lil bit more. I am so jealous you had a option to go home. Anyway I am happy for you that you’re having new adventures there:) You look very positive and have lots of energies! I am looking forward to your videos from New York.Cheers,

Thank you for this video I recently applied to the Jet Program and honestly I don't think it's for me, I am African American NYer, and I was given the opportunity to live in for a month and honestly, I was super depressed after week 2, and that's only a month. Imagine a whole year+ quick question, have you tried dating other races besides Japanese or caucasian?

I loved Japan. I was an 18 year old Air Force Airman. This was in 1970-71. As a black dude I almost made the decision to live there after I retired. I dated many lovely Japanese women and had a glorious time. I am 69 now and hope to there one day and teach the word.

I feel you. . 😢

This is super random question but did you have any experiences with mukade or other type of scary bugs? And if so, how did you deal with it? Thank you!

The whole work life situation in Japan just seems so bad. The city I live in (in Canada) is really boring, there is nothing to do, no nightlife other than a couple bars, it's frozen half the year, but it's stable, and work is calm and paced. I feel like Japan is more of a holiday (preferably and extended, like a month long, holiday given the 12+ hour flight) place.

If you’re looking to meet more Japanese people in NYC you should check out J-Kuru NYC on meetup.com. That meetup group isn’t the same as it once was a few years ago, but they still do morning conversational meetups in the morning for more serious Japanese learners. The Friday meetups are for the more casual meetups. If you’re looking for more cultural events or a language exchange partner, try visiting the Japan Society NYC and check out some of the events there. I hope that helps and good luck.

I can totally relate with you, I didnt live in Japan though, I lived in Sydney

I totally get you! I really want to leave my country and move to the US but becoming a citizen process sucks. I'm hoping to move to Japan to teach English under JET then hopefully move to engineering as that's what I do in my country. I just want a new experience

I was thinking of moving to Japan as an ALT by dispatch but I already have a 620000yen/year in India and my cost of living is 370000. So I don't know if moving to Japan and risking my job security I worth it and based on what you experienced I am doubtful of it. What do you think? Or should I only try for an IT job for few years.

I am foreigner working in Japan after finishing my master program here. I like the metaphor you said about the feeling towards japan , it’s really like dating with a toxic romantic partner. figured out It’s better to leave him. cause both of us won’t change ourselves.

Hi, Cara, I've actually just submitted my application for the next batch of JET the other day, and seeing this video and hearing your thoughts felt very "real", in the sense that it does give a sense of disillusionment of the daily life and culture experience in Japan for a foreigner. I've watched other JET participant-youtubers as well, and it really gives a sense of perspective of how different each of your experiences are. As much as you may want to integrate yourself into the culture, there are just some things that no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to feel like you belong. There's a sense of alienation somehow, and that's all right. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you for experiencing that, and I'm really glad that you saw it for what it is, and you were able to make the decision to get out of your "predicament" and make the leap to move. Please continue to post videos and don't feel like you're pressured to follow a set schedule in uploading like you owe your subscribers anything, just post a video whenever you feel it's ready. I'm sure you subscribers will be patient :)

You got it right.. toxic life, but still loving the vibes.. staying there for 4 years made me good at being alone.. you are one of a kind, i salute you for being brave and following what really matters to you..

I can definitely relate, Cara, to much of what you explain in this video. I lived in Japan about 4 years, was later married to a Japanese woman for 5 years, and much later worked for 2.5 years in a Japanese company in Chicago. Later, I tried my luck in Korea, and, similar as the cultures are (though neither side likes to admit it, LOL), I encountered similar barriers, only exacerbated by the fact that by then I had grown older. Two different periods in Korea (9 months in 2005 and six months in 2014) led me to abandon the thought of looking for "normal" jobs or "official" work there again: the racism/nationalism (agents asking me if I would not be willing to change my Spanish name to something like "Michael" or "Jake," LOL), the ageism (companies and schools prefer to hire young graduates and not a 50-year-old), and even sexism (for me as a guy, seriously, true story, an agent told me that my only preference, since I don't teach children, only adults, that is my objective, to teach business classes, would be foiled by the fact that business people want female teachers because they're "more sexy." Incredible, right? So instead of fighting the wave or stream, I'll "zen"' around it next time I visit Korea or Japan, and will look for collaborations on my terms. I'll go with my own remote work clients from other countrie and not depend on having to find clients or an employer there.

You are 🔥. I work at Amazon in Japan. I work in a Data Center

I wonder why I haven’t seen a video for a long time. I’m sorry that you left for the reasons you did. I’m on the second year on the JET programme and I absolutely love what I’m doing, but the situation is different for everyone. I’m glad that you’re happier now. I look forward to any future videos you make. Btw I totally support cryptocurrency; go Cardano!

I appreciate your candor

How can I improve my japanese

Hi cara im your fan 😉☺

Single for 2 years? ... Im a guy but Ive been single in the US for............. 3 years? and before that I was single for 6-7? If you're not used to being single then it probably can be hard. But, if you're like me and you have been single for a long time it becomes the norm. I'm not sure if there's some flaw in my personality or if I'm just not considered attractive here, but I don't really have anyone lining up for me and honestly never have. I don't have any expectations for finding someone so now I am just trying to live my life instead of worrying about it. Yes I get lonely sometimes, but Its usually temporary as I fill my time with my hobbies. I've never been to Japan, but I was thinking of trying the JET program as a way to experience it (I don't exactly have the money to travel there for vacation). But, I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Glad you are feeling happier though. If you weren't happy there then there was no reason to force yourself to stay. I was in the military and I've met many different types of people. Some LOVED military life, others (like me) didn't. I did my time and got out as I didn't find happiness there. Thanks for telling us your experience though, It will probably help a lot of people.

Man, not gonna lie. If you were still here I would have definitely asked you out....if you lived in Iwate that is lol. But I can get how difficult it can be to date here. I've done pretty good but because my Japanese isn't great (that first date was sad looking back. Texting someone you are sitting with lol) it can really limit things.

Oh Cara, I m glad you are doing well. I m not sure if you remember me but awhile ago I commented on your JET video and how I hope to someday meet you in Japan. Well, I made it to Japan as an ALT just as you were leaving Japan to head to New York. Nevertheless, I cannot thank you enough for your videos. It sucks of what had transpired in Japan but I m glad that you do not resent the country because of that. I hope for the best in your future endeavors! Lastly, I m working on my Japanese at the moment and I would like to know what you did to pass N1? Did you have a specific textbook you were studying from or what? I m currently N3. Any help would be great, thanks.

Wait why are the comments so long?

I think people make a mistake of what the perception is about japan is because of media. I think one should immerse in the culture and not expect anything else. You probably had high expectations or homesickness got to you.

Can you expand upon what happened between you and Tim O'Mara? The CLAIR-related incident?

The fact that there are only 4 options to make for living is very realistic and absolutely right.

What is "kagol"? How is it really spelled so I can google it?

Japan definitely isn't the country for non-Japanese Asian foreigners if you want to be considered attractive. lol. Maybe the biggest difference in our experiences comes from what race/sex we are.

Hello Ms Caradventures, I would like to ask what are the Japanese drama you can recommend? :) Thank you so much!

Greetings Cara, I think alot of Japanese people migrated to south east asian countries like Malaysia,Thailand, Philippines,etc due to less stress,lower cost of living and maybe to live in a different perspective. Japan is great for holidays but unless you got a set of certain skills that does not require "Keigo" then it would be fine. I do like people would mind their own business in Japan and not give you looks and be a busybody unlike in my country. Anyway, when will you continue youtube , its been like 2 years. Hope everything is fine on your side.

Your wrong about the jobs. I'm a white dude from Canada on my first year still. My Japanese is beginner/intermediate (maybe N4 or N3) I work cooking in a sushi restaurant, its pretty fun.

300% agree ! I have been leaving in Tokyo for 3 years, but this is the end... Japan is an amazing experience for a short term opportunity, but building a future there as a foreigner is kind of masochism... And, as french, I lost all the romantism I believed in while living there ^^

I've made a choice in my life that you were a catalyst for , me being a capricorn from 1 to 4 I'm thankful and will be open and honest.

Thats why Japanese dont want to learn much with other languages so there would be barrier to them especially with foreigners. Felt that.

That’s stupid they are missed out Cara. Girls that speak their mind and can stand on their own two feet are attractive and should be value more.

You seem to be nothing but gorgeous, I'm sorry to hear you had such a hard time. I'd love to meet you in person, feel free to respond in the case you are interested in an just over 40 white dude (American)

wait, you can be a graphic designer??? well then I guess I should get my butt over! yeah, I couldn't stand NY in less than 2 weeks for the 'engrgy' that you like. just too much random things going on while things are crumbling.

You're かわいい without makeup! But no worries. You got a bae now!

I want to be the cool kids >:(

Atleast your not In CHINA

That line about being foreign but not blonde broke my heart. I’m sorry people made you feel undesirable and I’m so glad you’re feeling better!!!

Pfft

"the most undesirable species" OMG. Hahaha so funny 😁😁. The asian males in Europe are in similar situation (just reverse). haha well said. you've nailed it.

I get jobs super easily...since I’m a white man 👨