As a 41 year old this song reminds me of the precipice I am at in my life. I implore you younger generations to please break the generational curses that plague us- abolish the hurt and hate that weeps out of our energies. I'm sorry that my generation couldn't do it. I can say I'm trying. I try every minute of every day to kill the wretch inside of me. This song is hauntingly beautiful and eerily relevant.

The fact she's singing this song while in a wedding dress holds so much more meaning to me. I'm an hopeless romantic on the inside, but in reality im terrified of marriage and children because of the fact I grew in a home that was very abusive. Due to that, its hard for me to know how to be in a real relationship and know how to act or think.. especially when someone actually loves you, but you still don't know how to fully trust and believe that you're loved.

Growing up in chaos and disfunction, I never had a desire to be married because I thought all marriages were prison...lots of therapy and healing and I married an amazing man, who is nothing but kindness. Even in a healthy, happy marriage I am still learning to have peace and trust, and not wait for something to go wrong. I am happy my children are not growing up witnessing and experiencing the same things I did, but it is so hard to explain the brokenness that still lingers. This song is healing.

I never through that a song could represent my feelings so well. As 25 years old woman who was deeply hurt by her parents your song was the words that I couldn't never express. Thanks

I thought it was normal to watch your parents fight It taught me dysfunction was just part of life That love's just a word that we use to excuse our mistakes Now I can't tell if I'm afraid or just jaded I guess I'm just scared to end up the way they did How do I unlearn the ways I deal with pain when that was all they taught me? To everyone I've loved who's let me down Let this letter hold what I can't say out loud What do I owe you for who I became? Should I say thank you or curse your name? Do I give you credit or all of the blame? 'Cause growth and pain always feel thе same Feel the same, feel thе same I try to avoid it when I meet somebody new I fall for the same shit that I did with you 'Cause there's comfort in chaos and that's why I kept you around It's insane to me that this could be the medicine and the disease A cigarette that's killin' me, yet I still wanna breathe in I keep tryin' to wash off the smell, but it's stuck on my skin What do I owe you for who I became? Should I say thank you or curse your name? Do I give you credit or all of the blame? 'Cause growth and pain always feel the same I wanted to fix this, I thought we could change But when will I learn that's a damn mistake? And I'll keep on givin' 'til my body breaks 'Cause growth and pain always feel the same Feel the same, feel the same, feel the same, oh I know it's not your fault But I don't know who to blame, oh-oh (oh-oh) (Growth and pain, growth and pain, growth and pain) (They feel the same, feel the same, feel the same) Still don't know the difference, I hope that can change 'Cause love and hate, they still feel the same, feel the same

This song captures the essence of those who struggled with having divorced parents. This is such a personal song yet the perfect one to tell the story for so many others. Sobbing when I found this. Bless you ❤❤❤

about two months ago i heard this song randomly through KZfaq while really drunk; it hit home and i cried my fucking eyes out couldn't find it for the life of me again; today, after many failed attempts, i finally bit the bullet and scrolled through my entire watch history. two months worth of scrolling was fucking worth it, what an amazing song; got to have a good cry again :,)

Coming from a broken home, you have placed my feelings so beautifully in a song. ❤️

I’m 30 but listening to this song immediately brings me back to my 15 years old self, locking myself in my dad’s office listening to songs & crying in pain. I thought i had let go of that feeling, but it’s still there.

Thank you for this song Chandler. This song has meant so much in the healing process 😢

Never did I think a song could capture something so deep within me.

Wow this is incredible. Growing up with narcissistic parents I eventually was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Which is often summed up to black and white thinking, bouncing between the negative and positive. So the black and white metaphor makes this so much more personal for me.. the battle and compromise with black and white (dark and light) thinking.. I love it. ❤️

What makes this song so amazing is for those of us that grew up in a dysfunctional family felt this and bawled our eyes out, overwhelmed, feeling it all over again. At 43 this was part of my journey to who I became.

I'm 32 and feel like I just recently checked back in and shut off auto pilot. I've had so many realizations about how my parents divorce shaped my life and impacted where I'm at present day.... this song hits you right in the gut...

I wish I could show this song to my parents. Sadly they're still together. I can't tell them that this is the daughter they raised.

As a twenty three year old who broke the generational cycle of abuse at age eighteen and has watched her younger cousins grow up without pain or abuse from their parents. It's amazing to see the changes in the family while listening to this song that brought up everything that has happened but in a good feeling because I challenged my family on the cycle of abuse and won 🌸. I won't let my younger cousins know the feeling of abuse from their family 🌸

I don't ever comment on music but wow. Her vocals just hit the right spots in my ears.

Played this song many times already and still a crybaby feeling. This song opens the wounds of my past. The generational trauma that they tried to pass on me, it all stops with me.

This song has helped me process so much trauma from my past. I’m thankful for you and for this. 🥺✨

Song really hit my inner child who's healing.

Thank you for keeping me alive another day

why do i relate this so much ? i want a hug~

You dont owe anyone anything for the person youve become. Even those that hurt us are part of our souls journey. Its my belief that we have soul contracts before we are born and through our lessons and pain we complete our predestined goals. Experience is what shapes us and we cant grow without it. Our energy is all part of the same source, just fragmented like a broken mirror. I believe the collective goal is to break the curse that victimhood has us under. Have compassion for yourself and others. We are all going through hard times and pain of all sorts. No one is less than the next. I hope everyone can take the time to forgive themselves for any wrongdoing yoy have done to or had done to you. Allow the compassion to yourself to say its ok to feel however you feel. Also know that you have survived it and that alone makes you stronger. Everyone out there could use a friend to listen. Feel free to let me be your friend. Tell me how youre feeling if you need to. 💕 stay strong

A punch to the gut. 39 and still trying to break the generational curses that plague me everyday. To do vetter for my kids than my parents did for me. Took years to realize my responses were trama bonded and that generational trama is a REALl thing. Cutting ties with my parents because they couldn't accept boundaries is a thing I struggle with daily but know deep down it was necessity. I hope my children see that I'm trying daily to not do to them what was done to me 😢

I have no words for how this song has touched me. It is so beautiful and amazing ❤

I am going to be 25 in a couple weeks and after 9 years of sobriety I am finally working on my mental health and this song brought out so much pain that I had been suppressing for so long. Thank you for helping me heal

Your song really hits home. Can't stop crying it's bittersweet to me. All the pain and all the healing and the growth and the spiralling back to the bottom. Who do we blame especially when the person that caused half the pain is no longer alive and the other just says get over it and doesn't see her part in it. I still have a long way to go to healing but i hope i get there someday. I hope my siblings also find healing. All four of us grew up in the same household, with different parents and different perspectives that in turn turned us in are given path our character and personalities. Who we became and who we strife to be.

"What do I owe you for who I became.." This.

I come from a family of divorce. It’s ALOT better now that they are divorced. But my primitive years of childhood from 5-12 were chaos before and during the divorce. And this is EXACTLY how I felt. And going to therapy helps me work through the trauma and other issues from coming from a chaos house of divorce

This song really hit home for me. My parents divorced when i was young but we're on good terms. However i lived with my mom who remarried and all they did was fight and argue. I desperately wanted them to divorce and they never did and i had to grow up through the chaos where my home wasn't my shelter but world war 3.

Coming from a very, very hard childhood, this song helps me heal from the things i see now that i can't control🥺💔 Thank you, chandler

There is so much I want to say about this song but all I can manage to put into words is just thank you for saying it all so beautifully.

I'm so glad u showed up in my suggested reels on IG! This song is healing so many people, including myself, what a gift you've given the world! Tysvm 🥰

I needed this more than you could image. The things we can't say out loud hurt the most....

Such an insanely powerful song

Tears flowing for this 47 years old... my dad in and out alot from my life since the day I born ... when my parents together they fight alot and I can't bond at all with him.. the feeling just flat ... At age 27 I told them they better be separate for real coz I don't know how to believe in family and they made me scared to get married... this song really represented everything that I told them that night... They separated for good after that night... I barely talk to him until he passed away... My chest feels so heavy listening to this song Thank you for write such uneasy words and making it beautiful ❤ Big hugs to you ❤❤❤

I've lived a life full of instability, toxic people, abuse, adults that failed me as a child, death of pretty much every family member I've been close to (my parents, grandparents, sibling) and heartbreak and it's caused so many issues as an adult for me and I'm trying to unlearn and unpack everything I've carried with me since I was a child . This song is so hauntingly beautiful and for whatever reason the last line where she's yelling, "I know it's not your fault but I don't know who to blame." The way she's singing it i can feel the pain and frustration and I can see in my mind (kind of like my very own music video) a small child that looks like me curled up in a dark corner with her hands over her ears and the current me as an almost 38yr old woman crouching down to take her in my arms. I can see my inner child in so much pain and I want to hold her and love her the way she needed to be held and loved in a way that no one has given her growing up...I know I probably sound crazy saying that but that's what this song makes me feel. ❤❤❤

Wow this gave me chills an spoke to my soul holding back the tears realizing this is exactly how I feel

I have never related to a song more in my life. My parents divorced when I was seven and it was very messy. They never really learned how to coparent and I became the adult between the three of us very quickly. I honestly can’t believe that they ever loved each other. To this day they still don’t talk. I fight with both of them a lot because I am angry with them for everything that has happened and all they can do is blame the other. I can’t seem to get them to understand that it was both of them. They have always put their differences with each other ahead of what was best for me and neither of them take any accountability for where I am mentally, which is so frustrating. Now I’m in a new chapter of my life and I believe that I have truly found my person, but I am terrified of ending up the way my parents did and ruining what I have with my partner. I am trying so hard to escape the cycle. This song truly makes me feel seen and heard, where I haven’t ever been before. I have never felt like I belonged or that I was not just crazy, but this song does that for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. ❤️

This song spoke to my soul and inner child that hasn't healed from the past. Such a beautiful song.

I'm listening to this and reminds me too much of my past and current situations. Horribly accurate.

It exsplains my whole life

I've already listened to the song a million times after it was released, but with the video it's even better! I'm so thankful this exists, it helps me release and process a lot of emotion. Thank you for this masterpiece!

This contains too much emotion...I did not grow up from divorced parents but it made me feel so much emotion, like it felt so real to me.. sending hugs to you!

Played it for the nth times and it still made me cryyy🥺

Dam tears running down my face . God bless u u are amazing.

The interpretive dance is so emotional ♥️

I was crying in the first 30 seconds. Thank you for making this.

No words for this masterpiece just 🖤🖤🖤

This song is so healing. Thank you so much!

This is painfully beautiful in levels I can't describe

I didn’t think this song could get better until I saw the video. Such a good job and song

This song is literally everything to me. Along with Fixer Upper. Been sharing with all of my Xennial friends

i saw it on tiktok first. i love you❕ thanks for the music, you're healing us too🤍.

The dance is absolutely beautiful and this song is...incredible. Straight to the heart ❤️ Amazing Amazing job

youve done it again. what beauty and passion. never seen someone like you before. im in awe everytime

My life song!!! Literally!! 👏

Everything, about this, resonates with my soul. I broke down watching... Thank you, so so much...!!

Ive never seen nor heard anything this great 🎯

Exceptional song. Can Feel the lyrics

how are you not famous yet? u deserve all the views in the world thank you for this song

This hits so hard because it’s so incredibly relatable. The lyrics cut your heart wide open and the vocals are incredible. 🔥 ❤❤❤

This song is literally a perfect example of many hardships families within families face. If it wasn't you who went thru it. You were close to other family members who did. Or close friends who are family to you, that you were with on a daily who had that same kind of relationship happening in there's and it felt as if it was you who was going thru it because you cared so much for them. PHYSICAL, VERBAL, & MENTAL ABUSE. Even thou different they all eventually feel the same. They break you down in diffrent ways but in the end they shatter you into tiny pieces that you struggle to try to find and struggle to put each piece back so perfectly that its never just quite right. This song can take on so many aspects of many peoples lives. Thank you Chandler Absolutely Phenomenal Master Piece. 👏 ❤ To all who are struggling were in this together ❤️ Break the cycle, so we won't have this much pain. LOVEHUGS FROM TEXAS ❤

This needs to be heard! Everywhere! Your amazing! Thank you! 💜💜💜

I saw this song on Facebook and while I was watching it I thought I was going to cry 😭....so I immediately looked it up on you tube and listened to it carefully and finished it...I was really going to cry

How amazing! I love your songs and the way you write, I wish you the best❤️

Just happen to stumble on this, & I’m glad I did! Great song👍

Ngl I thought this would’ve blown up by now 💀 where all the people at this needs to be seen 🤣

this song i needed i got hurt by him like i have million times before by other people

Your Art is astounding! I needed to know there were still relatable artists out here with heart. You need to be blessed with all just when you get it never forget your eye for beauty. You are amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much for this one especially.

Oh wowww.😢 so cleansing❤. To all of us from broken homes.....

All the words a child can't say because it is something difficult to put into words (your feelings at that age). Now that I'm an adult who knows what comes after love ends, I'm not sure if falling in love is something worth for me.

Here from IG. I found myself crying at the clip ♡♡♡

Wow I felt every word so talented ❤thank you for sharing this with us ❤

THIS IS BOPP OMGGG

Wow!! Feels the same!

Beautiful

This hit me . I’m 50 I wish I had learned this lesson 30 years ago. Don’t wait to heal!

Love love love! These lyrics could have come straight from my own heart

This song is me! This is my life, my pain and my borderline personality disorder put into musical words. I am crying. I have never felt so connected to a song.

I bet you felt so shy the first time you had to project your voice into the mic but I'm so grateful you did. ♡

explained my whole experience

This song hits deep

This deserves so much more !! Absolutely a masterpiece

i love this song i saw it on reels. when you made you parents listen to this, my heart ached. i was thinking on how my kids feels when they saw us arguing. actually i dont understand this too not until I have kids on my own. two people arguing because there are alot of differences.

Nice introduction to you. Subscribed

This is the best song as I’m a CPTSD warrior. I cannot ever go back to my “home town” without becoming severely ill.

Dad died last week..... this hits ❤. Exactly my life , I'm 48.... lesson & a blessing 🙌

Im crying right now while I watching 😢

I love this. Thank you for this. It’s very cathartic to listen to this

Such a healing song, so good

This is so well done. I love this song!

This song has gotten me thru so much pain with my inner child! THANK YOU!! ❤BEAUTIFULLY DONE!!

I needed to hear this. Thank you. You have a remarkable takent.

This song is everything when coming from a broken home.

Beautiful music video. The dancing is amazing

All hail 🙌 Chandler... This hit home 🏡... Now it's on repeat. I needed this more than you think. ❤

Amazing video! Such powerful lyrics! WOW!!

Thank you Chandler for this beautiful song❤❤ love u

Finely a song that i can relate. Thank you ❤❤❤