Changing One’s Name To Distance Oneself From One’s Traumatizers

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Daniel Mackler

2 жыл бұрын

My Website: wildtruth.net
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Пікірлер: 130

@joshepherd9095 Жыл бұрын

Twenty years ago I changed my surname to distance myself from my father. Best thing I ever did.

@amandaforrester7636 Жыл бұрын

I kept my first name. I changed my middle and my last. Legally. I am a completely new person. I will never be that girl again. It felt like my father owned me, and I see this as a magical act of self-creation. I am my own parent. I always have been, but now I really am.

@AstroMartine 2 жыл бұрын

Whoa, I thought I was the only one who hated my family enough to want to change my name lol. I actually got into researching it some years ago, but gave up, after I found out how much of a hassle it would be. My father once point blank told me I am an embarrassment to the family name. So I feel motivated to keep it, just to annoy him.

@spectraamunari9059 2 жыл бұрын

I changed mine in LA. It cost $500. Another $100 to change the passport, social security card was free I believe or nominal. It takes some time to call and write to bills but I found it 10000000% worth it.

@morganisuzu3778 2 жыл бұрын

I’m sorry, but do you mind if I ask why it would be a hassle? I’m actually looking into the idea of changing mine and I’m into it.

@AstroMartine 2 жыл бұрын

I live in East Europe, here you need a very serious reason to legally change your name, for instance proving that it is a source of bullying, like it is something funny-sounding etc.

@DeniseLaFranceCDNpainter Жыл бұрын

You are not alone. Many years ago, I started spelling my last name with a capital F to separate myself from my toxic family. Even though it's signed all over my paintings, I'm going to take it a step further & completely change my name. I just need to settle up on the right name. I remember asking my toxic egg donor who I'm named after and she said I was named after a meaningless one-night stand my father had before they got married. (What an a-hole she was to say that! And it just makes her look like an idiot for agreeing to it if that was true)

@yoyoyiggityyo16 4 ай бұрын

Wow that's uh... that's unique 😐

@newjerseydevil6115 2 жыл бұрын

Some people change their name because their parents are stalkers and their families are like cults. It's called coercive control and few states have laws against it so the victims have to escape. These people are in serious danger.

@liberte1334 2 жыл бұрын

I did this as soon as I was old enough to do it legally. Both my names, also my nose and hair colour. Totally reinvented myself.

@liberte1334 Жыл бұрын

@Tess Stickels Best thing I ever did. Also had my boobs made tiny. I realized I don't have to be who or what someone else labels me as. I can decide.

@ChooseLoveToday316 Жыл бұрын

Did you ever explore Buddhism or Hinduism? I was atheist for a time. I found spirituality through studying other religions and studying myself and what it means to be a flawed human traveling through life.

@JenSumma 4 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing. I’m also thinking about getting cosmetic surgery to change my appearance. I’m tired of seeing my mom’s face when I look in the mirror. I needed to hear that I’m not insane for wanting to distance myself literally

@hekate3297 2 жыл бұрын

I feel like when it comes to distancing yourself from a dysfunctional family, changing one's name is a deeply personal choice one makes for one's self. The way I see it, it is about reclaiming that sense of control of your own self, identity and agency after a trauma, much like when trauma survivors make changes to their appearance to regain that sense of autonomy after it was taken for them. From my observations though, changing one's name can also be a deeply powerful message - it's like a signal to all around you that something in your family system is very, very wrong, and by changing your name it becomes very difficult to overlook that fact. It is something radical and unheard of from most people, it takes courage and effort, and it can cause backlash from one's family of origin BECAUSE it threatens denial. It's like a way of saying your family alienated you without the need for words. There is a lot of power in it. Going no-contact is another such powerful gesture.

@RangelGabriel Жыл бұрын

That's it!

@tessarae9127 Жыл бұрын

I hope that’s what people see when seeing my changed last name… 💗

@rosierb852 2 жыл бұрын

I did this and moved across the world. Haven't spoken to most of my family over 4 years

@RangelGabriel Жыл бұрын

I make you the same questions from fellow Tess above my comment. How's your life going after what you've done?

@FROFilmsIRE 2 жыл бұрын

I’ve considered changing my name over the years also. Interestingly despite the feminist movement, I’ve heard some women tell me that taking their husbands name allowed them to start again in life with a new identity.

@sojournerkarunatruth4406 2 жыл бұрын

Lol my mum told me that changing her name was such a hassle, that she’s kept her marriage name, after her nasty, divorce #optimisticnihilism

@jennieclark Жыл бұрын

When my mother learned I am part Native American, the first words out of her mouth were “You are not pure.” Then she told me “Had abortion been legalized, I would have aborted you. Interracial children just SHOULDN’T be born! Had abortion been legal I would have aborted you.” I am in the process of changing my name. It would be nice if you expanded to talking beyond yourself and how changing one’s name has helped some.

@daviddeveloper44 Ай бұрын

Start a yt channel

@shawmlinsitly08 Ай бұрын

The last sentence is honestly true. This is an issue that I've noticed in his videos is, whenever it's a topic that he's not familiar with or at least hasn't experienced it, he tends to talk about himself and his experiences or goes on tangents than expanding onto it. While I see nothing wrong with it, it does Bug me a lot. I'd like to know more of his thoughts and how it'll help some people.

@spacenomad4477 Жыл бұрын

I changed my name, not because of my parents but because I'm transgender. However it was beneficial to me also in that context. When I started using a new name it was really freeing, not only because it fitted my gender, but also because it broke a connection to my parents. Funny thing is when I came out, my mother didn't like my new name and said she would like to be involved in choosing it for me. It was appalling, even though I was an adult, she still treated me like an extention of her and wanted to make decisions for me. My birth name was a biblical name of a woman who loved serving others and that's what my mother wanted me to be. She still doesn't use my real name and that's a sign to me that I'm doing something right.

@exbronco 2 жыл бұрын

My parents traumatized me really bad. I never changed my name and I'm not going to.

@matilda4406 2 жыл бұрын

I knew exactly what you were going to say before you said it, about your dad, he said that for HIS sake not yours !!! LOL

@Sketch_Sesh 2 жыл бұрын

it's kind of scary to think our narcissistic parents have had our entire lives to learn how to manipulate, push our buttons and triggers

@ROSE-mq3qd Жыл бұрын

I added a first name that I chose, literally birthing myself as part of a therapeutic process. I kept my family names, and naming myself and using this new first name coincided with going no contact with my abusive family felt so incredibly liberating: Two things I wish I’d done this earlier and secondly I really feel Rose as a name for me suits me, and uncannily I’ve had people tell me that my name really suits me (people who don’t know anything about my name change etc). I believe naming ourselves is a powerful path to healing, we can also change our minds (like Adam Elenbass did with his KZfaq persona) fundamentally it’s taking actions in the world as ourselves that counts 🙌 …not sleepwalking through

@Katia-tb4vk 2 жыл бұрын

Daniel, I’m eternally grateful to you for having the courage to walk your path and be real to yourself. Thank you for facing the terror of being real. Finding your videos was a somatic experience of relief. Relief in my body, having found a truth I could rely on during a time when I was being gaslit & betrayed by those I was told I could trust. Your authenticity helped me find mine, in a world of confusion and denial. Recognizing your impact on me helps me recognize the impact I’m called to have on the world. Thank you for your dedicated service, in public and private.

@rosaspagnola222 2 жыл бұрын

Ditto 💗

@SantaFeSuperChief1 2 жыл бұрын

Hey, that was my comment, awesome to see this video! I have a modest following online where I spread the word of healing through my comics. And my father is a politician so I've started operating under a pen name out of fear of him attacking me legally for being so open and honest about his, and my mother's, failures as parents. So this video was very personal to me. Thank you again for all you do, Daniel!

@dmackler58 2 жыл бұрын

Yes!!!

@kimlec3592 Жыл бұрын

My brother changed his name. My parents were oblivious.

@ceconoosh Жыл бұрын

What a beautiful child you were :)) I appreciate your videos always, thank you.

@04Serena Жыл бұрын

I changed my given name socially in childhood, then legally once an adult. Hearing the name that I was called by before and during abuse was a very painful trigger. I also didn’t want to carry the name that my primary abuser, my father, had chosen for me. Oddly enough, I’m OK with my surname. It’s a German word that feels like it came from long ago ancestors. It did pass through him, but he didn’t choose it, and he didn’t call me by it. Taking a new first name was incredibly liberating! I danced out of the courthouse the day I did it!

@SteveJones379 2 жыл бұрын

Stay strong Daniel. You’re doing much good work to help people that watch your content. Thank you. ☮️

@yvonneshanson1525 2 жыл бұрын

Your trauma isn't by any means lesser than other people's, Daniel. Besides this, I agree with every point you make in this video. Always soothing to "chat" with you once more..💜

@pod9363 2 жыл бұрын

Fuck ppl who do that “other people have it worse” thing. Trauma is trauma and it messes peoples lives up regardless of scale.

@paingoingcrazy6997 2 жыл бұрын

I very much wish someone had told me that exact thing years ago, that my trauma wasn't lesser than anyone else's. People and society always gave me the impression that I wasn't suffering enough to deserve love and care, so I never had a chance to talk about my terrible childhood. I ended up doing horrible, horrible things to myself to traumatize myself even more, just to feel like I deserved love and care, and now I'm paying for it.

@katatarot597 2 жыл бұрын

There's a lot of bravery in what you are doing.

@krielsavino5368 2 жыл бұрын

Great, I am not against name changing, but it would be a transitory solution; the real solution is, as you say, grieving and finding your real name within first (your real nameless self).

@recynd77 2 жыл бұрын

“A rose by any other name…” You’re a really good and brave man, Daniel. You help reveal my own truths, and to sustain my (constantly) diminishing) regard for the human race. Love from the depths of So Cal! ❤️🌻

@RaRa-el3iz 2 жыл бұрын

Daniel... You, and everything that you have courage to share w/ the public, has been a contribution in healing the world. Your story...your TRUTH... IS the cure. The strength and the ability you to invite others to gander at your ugly private garbage, at your TRUTH, is beautiful. Those who share the same garbage receive liberation from your truth, and THAT too is beautiful. I for one, thank you sincerely.

@tessarae9127 Жыл бұрын

Amen we’re here to emotionally compost 😎😎😎

@jacwindsor5552 2 жыл бұрын

I changed my name to have a new start after a traumatic bereavement. It was so refreshing and I feel I have put some stuff behind

@destinedtobedifferent9921 Жыл бұрын

I know I can't fully comprehend it right now, but you have been very brave. Thank you.

@Ajlez Жыл бұрын

In some different situations, I had times where I didn't use my real name, or somewhat more recently in life, where I used "offline mode", and I think these things for me were very similar, because I would eventually realize that They Were Not For Myself. They were for other people, not for me. Hiding my name or whether or not I was present wasn't a choice I had truly made for me, I had made it for and because of other people. And those other people certainly didn't even appreciate it or care. It didn't give me any power over them, it solidified the fact that they had power over me and over my actions. It reminds me of how the last time I saw a therapist, I considered the only positive takeaway from it that she had told me it was okay to lie, to protect myself. I already knew that in some ways, but I tried to take her advice and when I look back on it now, that actually kept me from letting my parents even come close to knowing and hearing that I had told others the truth about them - that I remembered at all. Because they lived in a fantasy land where I never surpassed infancy or something to that effect, so they could pretend I had no memory of everything they had done, and not done. But I saw that therapist right when I went on disability, and I told her that I tried to explain to them that I was on disability, even though I intended to lie about the reason (it was them), but they had somehow "misheard" me 🤔 and thought that I had a "new job", and they like... smiled about it like it was something exciting. (they made it even more terrifying and upsetting than it already was) So the therapist told me, I didn't have to tell them about disability (which is true, but I'd already tried to at this point), and suggested that I tell them that yes, I do have a new job, and I can use that new job to reason out times when I cannot see them. I was too afraid to go that far, but I did just drop the subject from then on. I don't know if I ever truly wanted to tell my parents "I know what you did to me, I remember everything, it was wrong", but in hindsight that was kind of the moment for me that I finally shut off the option of doing so. (and it's funny that I thought that was "the only useful thing" from my therapy).

@vaiciciaku Жыл бұрын

For many youtubers its sooner or later when someone finds out their real name, so you do not have to dread this moment now.

@AsleepFiveDecades 2 жыл бұрын

I'm a new subscriber, and I LOVE Your Channel!! So grateful that KZfaq recommended it!! =) I admire everything You are doing, and it's exactly what I want to be doing, but I'm still working on the guilt and shame from wanting to expose my Narcissistic Family. I was destroyed and shunned because after 50 years, I finally realized what my family was all about, and I no longer wanted to be anything like them. I had no idea what NPD was until August 2018, and then my Whole World Changed. I'm still in the healing process, and undoing all the damage that was done! Xo

@matilda4406 2 жыл бұрын

LOLOLOL Well done. The last five years I also awoke from two cults and left and still now piecing things together. But it's wonderful to be awake and understand all that's happened and why.

@AsleepFiveDecades 2 жыл бұрын

@@matilda4406 Thank You, and I sincerely wish You all the best in Your recovery. And Yes, it is wonderful to be awake and aware...Cheers!! Xo

@pigeoness22 Жыл бұрын

I am glad for you - that you are making changes for the better. I love your nick, I feel like it describes me and my life :)

@christinebadostain6887 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I remember that! "truth traveler" I recall trying to find a "real" name because I was so amazed that I had somehow found you and wanted to know more about this person with whom I felt so much resonance.

@tessarae9127 Жыл бұрын

I’m someone who DID change my name to distance myself from my past, and from carrying my birth dad’s last name. It sounds the same however I changed the spelling to be closer to a tessarae - pieces in a mosaic, which I was told my name was loosely connected to my whole life! I felt like wow, that’s a beautiful reminder of who we are a souls; we’re all one piece in the work of art that’s life itself. So while it sounds the same that small change means the world to me. I no longer have that given last name and it’s much more meaningful! Now I’ve also gotten married so I’m carrying my chosen last name over to be my middle name… I’ll be Tessa Rae Flowers once that process is done 🥰 I know many others who have changed their name to create a separate identity from their past selves. Also, fun fact - in many native american cultures it was common that a person would choose a new name upon entering adulthood. I wish this was still common practice! Many people outgrow their birth name for many reasons.

@pennyc7064 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing this Daniel. My reason for wanting to change my name is because I just don't like it however I can totally comprehend how it would distance ones self from our traumatizers and I can totally agree with this and would want to do so as well.

@gordonfreeman5261 8 ай бұрын

I did it - my middle names and surname were the name of an abusive grandfather and my abusive father respectively. It really helped me. I kept my first name, but changed the rest of it. It was liberating.

@thebreeze6765 2 жыл бұрын

Yes, an alias offers anonymity and a certain freedom. I have thought many times of legally changing my name. Women have lost their names and lineage. It has always felt strange to take a name that my father gave both first and last. I don't want to carry a label by an abuser. It's been so long, that I dreamed everyone would always know me by that name, so I guess I'm stuck with it.

@marionoschelmuller1718 2 жыл бұрын

Yah, I get that. I have actually told my therapist he should call me with my first name (it´s common in our area to use the family name), because it was just too triggering - I guess now I´d stand it. But I have also attemptet to change my whole name. I didn´t even consider doing this to hide from anyone - so it´s interesting that your mind would go there first - but to me I was in a spiritual process and this name came to me and I had an ego death of sorts and then wanted to change my name - well, I tried, but the backlash from the people I knew was too big: Everyone basically kept calling me my original name and they weren´t really going to take it serious and my dad then hypothesized that that was a name of mine from a previous life and then he asked a psychic and she said she saw a mountain and a mother conflict or whatever and well, I thought about it and then basically decided that he was right and gave it up, but I still feel bad for giving in to that, I feel like it was just giving in to the pressure wishing not to be rejected any more than I already had been by him.

@diamondheart11 Жыл бұрын

Be strong and don't give unto others peoples pressures. If you want to change your name, change it. If you don't want to change your name then don't. The only person that matters in this decision is you and only you. You only live once and when your old and in your death bed the regret will eat you up inside.

@daniellfourie Ай бұрын

I actually was thinking of this some weeks ago... Even my first name. It came from a very private inner space where I wish to be me. Being my own parent to give my baby self the name I want. Disconnecting from the heard and stigma of having these names. Not to belong anymore. Total isolation to be oneself.

@aveuch 2 жыл бұрын

Worse than being haunted by family ties is having a name that belongs to a culture you don't identify with. I don't like my name or feel like it represents me, but any other name I choose, or assign to myself, feels foreign to me. And not in a thrilling way, just disappointment.

@aveuch 2 жыл бұрын

I like the New Wave ideal of anonymity, where you don't name your characters.

@TVans-vs3gn 2 жыл бұрын

You're absolutely right and you're the first person I ever saw talking about this! You even get people just wanting to be your friends just because of your name. Not only that, you can even get approached in a language you don't speak...just because of your name.

@sojournerkarunatruth4406 2 жыл бұрын

Wow, idk, I have this weird habit of minding my own fucking business, when I go out in public… no one’s ever spoken a different language to me and I don’t imply, that I desire to be friends with random, strangers, but you may be referring to some chat room, idk; although, strangers will ask about my tattoos, often enough, and I’ll respond appropriately but never unfriendly. I respect my own privacy ✅ And it’s fine to try out different names until you feel like you’re found it; I think I went through *two* names before I got comfortable with this one 😎 👀 I chose the name of a born slave and upon freedom she was a feminist activist and abolitionist: Reenactment of Sojourner Truth’s Ain’t I a Woman kzfaq.info/get/bejne/iN-PnJuol9jIgY0.html

@aveuch 2 жыл бұрын

@T. Vans I'm just now getting notified of your reply. Thank you for the validation. I'm so happy someone "gets it". Just because my name is Diego or Ichiro doesn't mean I speak Spanish or Japanese.

@christinebadostain6887 2 жыл бұрын

You nailed it; they don't WANT to change. Change is uncomfortable at least and turtous at most.

@Valentina-hv2nt Ай бұрын

In Romania there is an ancient custom: when a child is very ill without any hope to survive, il will be "sold" to a woman with healthy children. The child will be given on the window to the new woman and with a new name. The name had to be a saint name, in oder to be protected until death, and for that moment on the new name will be used.

@NickNoobles 2 жыл бұрын

Большое спасибо, Дэниел за вашу искренность, откровенность и мудрость. Смотрю вас уже много лет, с большим интересом, вы очень интересная личность!

@dmackler58 2 жыл бұрын

Спасибо большое Nick!!

@SB_McCollum 2 жыл бұрын

I did that for the last 23 years of my mother’s life. I had returned to church but couldn’t stand to hear the sound of someone calling me by my family nickname since everywhere I heard it just meant step, fetch, and “make me happy even if it kills you,” so I used my formal first name instead. After she died the association died away, too. I prefer my nickname again, and now only my church acquaintances use my first name. It helped with the tension at the time, tho, my mother’s last years nearly killed me with the stress.

@stealthwarrior5768 2 жыл бұрын

I was able to read your books because I knew your name. 👍 I would love to change my name.

@AZ-if2mj Жыл бұрын

I do not want to hurt my siblings. They did benefit from the situation materially at the time, but both suffered emotionally and psychologically from what little they allowed themselves to know. I am separated from all of them, many hours by flight if were to happen. No calls, no contact to me; admitted, did try outward for too much and for too long of a time. Not now, no more. Enough for me.

@vaiciciaku Жыл бұрын

I follow you since the Truth Traveller times, when you had like 3 or 4 thousand followers, happy to see your channel grow and reach more people, it is very important what you do. Before I knew the story of your nickname, I thought it was more about the content of your channel. I really liked it btw.

@dmackler58 Жыл бұрын

Thanks Vida 😀

@deewitt8693 Жыл бұрын

what you fail to admit is that it is ALL in one's PERSPECTIVE.

@carpetbaggerface 9 ай бұрын

Greatly appreciate your honesty and insights, thanks for your wisdom

@rosaspagnola222 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your authenticity, courage and example, Daniel... greatly appreciate you.💗

@blueskybear9997 2 жыл бұрын

Daniel Mackler 😎

@MsWing-ij9nb 2 жыл бұрын

Daniel, as you speak on your ambivalence of being known in your actual identity in public, it occurred to me the possibilities and reasons truthtellers and artists such as drag queens and kings have assumed pseudonyms and personas - it’s a complete physical transformation like the Phoenix riding from the ashes that allows the soul of the person to freely speak and be on a platform where a self selected audience are there to listen (usually) and be absorbed in and moved by those transformative energies. Just my take- not saying you should do drag performance, lol. But it could be an interesting exercise to try speaking through a mask (which I know you’ve done with virtual filters here before)- or other costumes- if that provides a reprieve that you need from appearing as “regular” self. Not to mention potentially fun, freeing and experimental. As an artist I’ve dabbled with pen names and whatnot. The way we dress general can have a profound impact on expressing how we feel, our values, strengthening our inner confidence. I try to remember this accessible form of a mood booster when I need it - easier than trying to legally change my name ;)

@DeniseLaFranceCDNpainter Жыл бұрын

Daniel! It's not hard at all the change your name legally. It's surprisingly easy. Would perfectly suit you to change your name to something interesting that suits your personality + is pleasing to write and hear and say.

@dianabay971 2 жыл бұрын

I had the same thought. Since my father wasn’t the most noble man, I thought he doesn’t deserve that I’d carry his last name. I will change it when I marry :) Also, I’ve been using a different name for a few years now both on social media and in real life. I want it to differ from my passport’s name for the safety reasons.

@olijomusic2481 Жыл бұрын

I think it that the effects of changing one's name can differ depending on in what kind of spirit you're doing it. If it's an act of rebellion, it may be a sign that you still view your traumatizers as some kind of an authority, and they still live very much in your head. You could still get stuck. If your acting in rebellion, doing always the opposite what you had been told by yoir violators, then your still very attached to them, and not necessarily doing what you actually want. But some times there can be good practical reasons to change your name, for example, if there's some well known criminal in your family.

@corinaspfx 2 жыл бұрын

wow, i changed my name over the pandemic for this exact reason it's funny how i've also noticed that some people in my life have a hard time with it. some forget and call me by my birth name out of habit, others get annoyed and roll their eyes

@3beetle 2 жыл бұрын

I have been watching your videos for sometime now and have agreed with your views, however now I have forgiven my parents and others. I think forgiveness is the key to finding peace and contentment in life. True healing has not happened until I have forgiven those who have attacked me. Attacking people back that have hurt you including abandoning them is inviting more attacks. To ultimately end the violence we must forgive each other. Our parents did the best that they could with the tools that they had at the time. Remember there are no courses or requirements to becoming parents therefore they have no real skills in this area. Holding a grudge and anger for life is such a waste of energy. Consider forgiveness to heal childhood trauma. Im not saying forgiveness is continuing an abusive relationship but in our minds forgiveness or interpersonally with boundaries of course. How to forgive is relatively easy when you acknowledge that the reason your parents ultimately mistreated you was because they are doing just what was done to them. An eye for an eye ultimately makes everyone blind.

@ri-oj1ul Жыл бұрын

Omg!!! I did this!

@le_th_ Жыл бұрын

I love my name. One of the reasons I love my name is that my mother had no part in choosing it. My father chose it, based on a little boy who had a crush on my oldest sister (his name was Stephen and his friend was Denis). My dad used to tease the boys who came to see my gorgeous oldest sister, so he called them Stephanie and Denise, instead of Stephen and Denis. I love my name, first name and last. My name didn't abuse me, my mother did, and my father allowed some of it, and other times he stopped it.

@paingoingcrazy6997 2 жыл бұрын

One day as I watch watching your videos, I was thinking about how names are such a strange phenomenon in our society. Shouldn't our names describe our best qualities? Shouldn't our names change and evolve as we ourselves grow and evolve? Shouldn't our names be beautiful? I was wondering to myself.. does "Daniel Mackler" really describe all the good traits this person has? And a funny question was, what even IS a "Daniel Mackler?" Our names are very functional, and serve to identify us easily when we go to school, when we go to work, when we have to fill out paperwork. But they do a terrible job at describing who we truly are - and in our world, we absolutely don't know who we truly are.

@syrushd7384 2 жыл бұрын

This prose… dang bro, pain going crazy

@paingoingcrazy6997 2 жыл бұрын

@@syrushd7384 It definitely was prosy haha. Maybe it's BS, what I wrote.

@syrushd7384 2 жыл бұрын

@@paingoingcrazy6997 nobody has the whole truth but everyone has a piece; it can’t all be BS

@swiatduchafilmy Жыл бұрын

Other arguments: With proper name we go along with our history, and traumas that are connected to the history. When people don't heal, grieve and it is for them "too much", they tend to unload burdens, here also linkage to the history in the form of etiquettes as names. No previous name - no problem (or lighter feeling), also with changing telephon number or moving away also moving to the other country: "emigrants go with their problems to the new environment"

@alexxx4434 5 ай бұрын

In one of your earlier videos, just by the way, you dropped a bit about having siblings. I don't remember you ever mentioned or talked about it anywhere else. I assume you want them out of the picture for some reason, probably to protect them. But it would have been interesting to know about your relationships with them still. Or at least explore the topic of having siblings in a family system you want to break away from.

@nicholecooperonline 2 жыл бұрын

I love your vids seen over the years !

@bike6776 2 жыл бұрын

Hahaha what a coincidence! I thought the same thing two weeks ago and found a pseudo name for myself targeting emotional sobriety. Currently, I am sometimes using it by myself at home when I need.😀 Not yet sure about using it elsewhere, still considering.🤔 I also have a second Twitter account, where I am anonymous, so I can freely express myself.

@aaronchambers543 Жыл бұрын

You look so relaxed traveling😊

@solarsage252 2 жыл бұрын

Mine is now Alexander

@user-xr7ts1cw8s 2 жыл бұрын

Removed my middle name - it was my dads name

@DivineLightPaladin 2 жыл бұрын

I did, to much relief. But some people like to dig it up and use it as a weapon, knowing that it brings me back to being abused

@newjerseydevil6115 2 жыл бұрын

Ollie Matthews has a YT channel. He changed his name because his family was extremely toxic.

@FaithNewEarh 9 ай бұрын

I changed my first name ten years ago, when I moved away for fresh start. Made me realise I am not my name, still Mum to my children tho rest of family the only ones who won't use my new name, more embarrassment for them ;)

@AlastorTheNPDemon 2 жыл бұрын

I like to think the things that capture our attention are unwittingly chosen to reflect our internal landscape. I have a strange cult-like relationship with a fictional character, to the point I feel compelled to be an ambassador to his name and sacrifice a great deal of myself to emulate him. His name is Alastor, and depending on which version of Greek you're referencing, it means "Avenger/Destroyer" or "Protector/Defender" - definitely a wild card with light and dark connotations there, and allegorical to the kind of person I want to be. The name I currently have is fitting of a habit I now feel is shameful due to being hurt in ways related to it, and was always said in an accusatory tone growing up, so it needs to go.

@nicholecooperonline 2 жыл бұрын

There's no way you're fifty Can you be my counselor ??

@AtofaratiAbikoye Жыл бұрын

I love your videos but even the heightened awareness I have has not changed who I am. I still have those angry outbursts akin to a child I just want it to end and I really do know the road is not linear but I just want to love the people in my life properly I want to let them know I do the parts of my I haven’t healed just slip out sometimes and I’m like when will I actually fully heal I’m so impatient to want it all to change immediately so I can show the lovely and supportive woman in my life that I care about and love her and be happy I just want the pain to end

@nicholecooperonline 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah I did that after my divorce smh Backfired even if just Online

@BhavanaShivu Жыл бұрын

I did this.

@martineukelovesimpro Жыл бұрын

I love all your videos and hope to talk with you one day .. how could this be possible ?

@6l816 Жыл бұрын

Yukihiro Matsumoto, the creator of Ruby programming language, once said if you cannot give a good name to a function, class, module or whatever stuff that appears in computer programming, you don't understand it well. I wonder if this is true for people. Can giving myself a good name be a proxy of understanding myself?

@princeofb7383 2 жыл бұрын

Hey Daniel! Thank you for helping me heal. I was wondering if you antinatalist or part of the Voluntary Human Extinction movement? I'd love to hear your thoughts on these philosophical positions/ lifestyle choices.

@tribalkoala 2 жыл бұрын

❤️❤️❤️🥰🥺

@spartan.falbion2761 Жыл бұрын

I hope you aren´t insulted by this - but I see so many similarities between us, indeed I use a pseudonym on KZfaq. I do it because I don´t want people to connect my real name with my YT stuff. Additionally, I can´t stand seeing my name. My surname is what my school tormentors (that includes teachers) called me by. I notice that those who choose to change their name by depol are living life through a false ego.

@sojournerkarunatruth4406 2 жыл бұрын

Vasectomy | Torio Van Grol kzfaq.infoMHhw-YHCAqY?feature=share

@claressarichardson1374 2 жыл бұрын

Would that be slightly schizophrenic or bipolar?

@-majeed7391 2 жыл бұрын

do you ever feel bad for sharing negative feelings ?

@Againstthestatusquo3985 2 жыл бұрын

You didn't mention what your mother said about you when you wanted to use your real name. It seems to me, that you wanted yet again to put men in a bad light.

@diamondheart11 Жыл бұрын

First of all, his story is about his father, if his father is a bad man which he is, that is just the reality. Bad men exist that is also reality whether you like it or not , that doesn't mean all men are bad, one individual like his father doesn't and can't represent half the population of this gender, do you see how much power you are giving his father. One man can't represent all men. You seem to be taking it too personally the story of a stranger. Second of all this story is about names, and did you know that last names comes from fathers? So this is why he is talking about his father and in the last name section of the discussion in this video especially in a negative light since his father tried to manipulate and gaslight him to protect himself from any public backlash of his evil doing. Did you not pay attention at all in the video? If he had his mother's last name then he would be talking about her in a negative way since she is toxic by his own admission but since it doesn't apply in this story it doesn't go. If the mother didn't comment anything about Daniel using his name publicly then he has nothing to comment about it, otherwise he would have mentioned it. Seems to me you are new to this channel Daniel talks about both his parents in a negative way because both were negative toxic abusers. He has a video discussing how horrible is mother was and it's even controversial and tragic especially because he talks a taboo subject about some mother's and how some mothers can abuse children sexually which happened to him and society refuses to talk about this subject or acknowledge it happens which he highlights in that particular video. The only person with the bias here is YOU. Seems to me you have a very negative attitude towards women based on your tone and unreasonable immature complaint, you even shows hints of it with your profile pic, that your bias against women is so important you have used that profile picture something mentally and emotionally healthy normal people don't do. Just so you know men are not saints they themselves ruin their own reputations. For millennia men have abused men, but most men refused to acknowledge that their sacred brotherhood is capable of such a thing. It is men who give orders to hurt men, orders executed by men to hurt men, this happens in war, government, schools, family, etc and god forbid one man like Daniel criticizes another man ( his father) which has hurt him deeply. Evil doesn't discriminate both genders are guilty of it and whether you like it or not evil men will always taint and put men in a bad light, take it up with them.

@Againstthestatusquo3985 Жыл бұрын

@@diamondheart11 First, I thought that he wanted to change his first name, not just his surname, but after I rewatched this video, I knew that he only wanted to change his surname. Fine, but then you continued to write about how I have a "very negative attitude toward women," and you based this assessment on my comment(s) and my KZfaq profile picture. First, my profile picture is a symbol of anti-feminism. Not all women are feminists, and not all feminists are women. Feminism is a female supremacy movement driven by misandry (misandry being the hatred of men). And when I wrote, "It seems to me that you, yet again, wanted to put men in a bad light," I meant the frequency and intensity of him criticizing the male gender in relation to criticizing the female gender. It's because I know his videos; I know that he'll criticize men much more frequently and much harsher than women. And I know that when he criticized his father and his paternal grandfather in this video, that doesn't mean that he wanted to deliver the message: "All men are bad." But if you notice the frequency and intensity of his criticism of both genders, then you will see that men come much worse off than women in his entire channel. And then you go on and blame men for their own misery and problems that society has caused them. How about you take up with today's misandry?

@idan4989 2 жыл бұрын

I Wonder if you fully accepted the fact that you alone in your life because of your ideas and unpopular opinions

@daisy7066 2 жыл бұрын

That doesnt fit with the female appreciation he's been getting, even romantic suggestions...

@idan4989 2 жыл бұрын

@@daisy7066 i meant alone with his own ideas and opinions, very few people thinking the way he is..

@waynemizer4912 2 жыл бұрын

@@idan4989 He has more human connection than many people do that might only have a spouse and no others. And you really have no way of knowing how many people think the way that Daniel does since most will choose to suffer in silence for an entire lifetime with the wreckage cause by family disfunction.

@idan4989 2 жыл бұрын

@@waynemizer4912 i watched all his videos and he said that himself, even his friends criticize him for stopping talking with his parents.. so watch some videos first before commenting

@waynemizer4912 2 жыл бұрын

@@idan4989 I've been watching for years. Friends criticizing his actions means absolutely nothing. Where is it written that friends are the arbiters of what is right or wrong for an individual? You're not a critical thinker.

@spectraamunari9059 2 жыл бұрын

I’m 46. Changed my name almost 5 years ago very publicly (social media, LinkedIn), etc. best thing ever! I am African American and had no desire to carry the surname of the people who enslaved my ancestors. I also had always wanted to release my first and middle name as they were given to me when I was born into my parent’s extremely toxic relationship (alcohol and drug addiction, domestic violence, etc). I didn’t like the idea of answering to, writing and saying names that were put upon me by two people who were literally out of their mind. Interestingly, when I changed my name legally, my father was deceased but I was still in communication with my mother. I had healed the relationship with my dad so deeply because he got sober and took full responsibility for his contribution to the trauma of my childhood. I almost felt a tinge of guilt because he had actually named me. My mother “gave me her blessing” on my name change. Funny because a few years after the fact I am not in communication with her and am done accepting her abuse. I guess the name change was prophetic in some ways. It was a way of redefining myself (as my names all have meanings) as a sovereign being, period. I did it for me. Not to make any point. Changing my name was as natural as breathing. I didn’t care if people thought I was a weirdo, if they didn’t understand or if I’d already used my birth name professionally and it might somehow tarnish or confuse my professional relationships. I am not my job. This was so important to me that I always knew it was something I would do….I was simply waiting for the right names to come to me.

@corinaspfx 2 жыл бұрын

love your story, thank you i'm 45 and changed it last year (although not done it legally yet) been living in cape town for 11 years now estranged from family last 8 years totally agree that some look a sconce sometimes when i remind them that i am not using my birth name any more this act mean a lot to me, and it's far from a temporary capricious whim

@matilda4406 2 жыл бұрын

First !!