The day I found out about Mel’s passing was complete shock. That night I walked my dog as usual and thought about how I shared a love of firebutts with her. I had never heard fireflies called that until her Tiny Marvels palette and I laughed so hard and have called them firebutts ever since. Mel was just like a beautiful firebutt, only here for a short season but she lit up the world with her laugh and her smile! Next summer I will sit out with the firebutts and celebrate their light and remember Mel.

My experience with grief was loosing my mum suddenly at 59 from a brain aneurysm. It's been many years since her passing. Approx two months later a cashier asked me if I was OK in marks and Spencer, I said, no, I'm not OK then I just broke down, I had to be helped to sit down. It was then that it had really hit me that my mum was gone. I had done the funeral arrangements etc and being the eldest of four, I felt it was my job to sort things out - dad was in no fit state to do anything. I'd sometimes drive round for coffee as only ten minutes away by car and just before I'd get there I'd realise, oh, mum's not here. Comes in waves now for me, definitely easier as time has moved on. I keep checking my inbox thinking Mel hasn't uploaded yet, knowing full well a new video is not, not just not, never, going to appear again - it seems too final. Mel did leave a legacy imo and that was to be, the best you, in every aspect, not only makeup. Somebody said, there are just some people in this world who are only meant to be here for a short time, to show us love and kindness, truly like an angel... I would put Mel in that category.

It is such a strange and new experience- mourning someone you watch on KZfaq. I can’t tell anyone why I’m sad or they think I’m nuts; like why would I be sad as I never met her, I never spoke to her. But I’ve been watching her life for years so I feel like I know her. Others don’t get it and I feel like I can’t discuss it with anyone.

Little notes, voicemails, and things like that are wonderful... but they are only tools used to build your friendship. Your actual friendship is built. It's real. And no amount of time passing or missing cards will ever change that fact. Your relationship with Mel and what it brought in to your life is forever. It sounds like it's a wonderful friendship, and you are deserving of that kind of magic and happy memories. Laugh hard in your happy moments... I'm sure Mel is right there laughing with you. Love you, Charlotte.

Mel was so special…. So many people were touched by her and loved her despite not meeting her. Sending you love Charlotte x

I wish I could say something more than thank you, it doesn't really feel like enough. It's so important for us to not just simply gloss over our grief and pretend as though things are normal. Mel was special to a lot of us - I was one of the people who never really interacted with her a lot, but I enjoyed her videos and found so many wonderful people in this community thanks to her. She was a wonderful person.

Grief is the loneliest experience I have ever went through! I lost my husband 4 years ago and it was a long time before I could articulate my loss into words! It’s so important to speak about loss and how it makes you feel! The stages of grief are not to be considered a linear concept- you can go back and forth and never experience some at all until the point your life again becomes bigger than the grief! But I still have my moments! Mel’s loss is so sudden and awful! It has hit me surprisingly hard I often find myself thinking of her family! Keep going and you will survive this and Mel will always be remembered! ❤️

I miss Mel so much. She gave me so much joy with her positivity and her smile .... the makeup looks. I try everyday to be a better Person, because of her.... her loss is so so sad 😿😿 thank you for this video ❤❤❤❤

Thank you so much fort this. When my brother died by suicide, I tortured myself about not returning his last call. In time I realized that he knew I loved him, and that is what mattered. I'm sure Mel knew how you felt about her, and would not want you to feel any guilt. God bless you, Charlotte.

Oh Charlotte… I really appreciate you saying this. One of the many things I love about you is your authenticity and your honesty. I get it, make up may be our creative outlet, but let’s be honest it’s frivolous…. Who gives a damn how we look when there’s an empty space in our heart? I have found myself re-watching Mels videos… I wanted to hear her laugh and “hey beauties!” it was comforting, rather than denial. Then I continued to watch to support her family. Puffin has said that he will keep up her videos… so I wanted to help in any way I could. I really appreciate you and your honesty. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling…. thanks for talking and giving us a space to too. I just really hope that it helped you. Did it? What you said about speaking about Mel really resonated with me… I had to take it offline - I told my mum… I explained that I never met her but how much she meant to me and how devastated I feel about her loss… there is a friendship there, even if it’s one sided. She completely got it and gave me a hug (not wearing her favourite jumper of mine though ;). ). It’s lovely to see you Charlotte. Keep well and be kind to yourself. Xxx

thank you Charlotte ❤It is a relief to hear influencers talk about Mel and keep it real. That's what makes the connection with subscribers humane. Mel's passing is so disturbing to so many of us, a life cut too short and so sudden. It's the sheer helplessness of it, and I can only imagine how helpless Mel's husband and family felt when the tragedy happened. I watch at least a couple of Mel's videos everyday, out of love and respect for Mel, for her art, and for her family! Mel must be smiling down on us! 🌹

The thing that keeps getting me is that I keep expecting to see her in my subscription box. She popped up practically everyday and it was something that I came to expect to see. It was comforting. And now I have to keep reminding myself that there won’t be any new videos and I won’t get to see her sweet smile and hear “Hey, Beauties” ever again. And my heart breaks.

It’s very brave of you Charlotte to speak to all of us about grief. I agreed with many things you said. It is important to be able to speak about grief and GO through grief stages. I recently lost a very close friend to Covid and I felt like no one asked me about it and I felt and still feel like I have to hold all my sadness inside my heart . At times I feel like there’s not enough space in there to hold all the emotions and pain In. Sending love your way 💕

The story from your childhood was so touching. Such a great reminder that everyone will want/need something different in terms of grief support and the only way we can know how to best support someone is to ask.

Mel is an incredible example of how to be a kind generous supportive person. I appreciate you remembering her and sharing your feelings

It doesn’t feel right for me to watch any “normal” makeup content. I feel sad because I want Mel’s take on everything but realize we’ll never get that again and it’s gutting. You’re really the only beauty KZfaqr I’ve been able to watch since Mel left us. I had so much in common with Mel including my age and it made me so much more aware of my mortality and that of the people around me. Thank you for making this video and speaking about this.

There’s something to be said for societies that had, or still have, a formal mourning period; this is important not only for the persons suffering but also gives friends who are on the outside looking in an opportunity to show empathy and provide strength for someone who is suffering. It’s a process that shouldn’t be rushed, glossed over or ignored and a healthy grieving period is important. 🤗🤗🤗. My heart breaks for you Charlotte and, of course, for Mel’s husband and children.

Thank you Charlotte, it does feel weird that other people I follow are just going on like nothing happened and not that everything should stop but it’s nice to have you make this. Sending love

I’m so glad you made this video. I have been watching Mel for years and when I heard of her passing it felt like a close friend was gone. I have been feeling sad since and held back the tears, because It’s so weird to be so sad about someone I have never talked to and never met. There’s nobody to talk to about this because how would anyone understand why I’m so sad about someone I just watched on KZfaq. I have seen your sadness in your videos even though you try to put a smile on your face. Sending you lots of love. Your video felt like a big hug which was much needed ❤️❤️❤️

It’s important sharing our feelings, thank you for this video ❤️! Mel was a beautiful and sweet person, young and full of talent, everyone misses her smile

Thank you! Loving you for being honest ❤🙏

Thank you for this, Charlotte ❤️

Thanks for making this video. I agree always cry when you need to!! Mel was a really beautyful person. I wish Lots of love and strength for you x

My heart goes out to Mels family and friends. Thank you for making this video😔

Thank you so much for this video. You're a genuine soul. prayers for you

Thank you for this video :-) I watched almost all Mel’s videos - I’ve been in shock ever since I learned about her passing. I’m just a regular mom watching KZfaq videos and you guys putting on beautiful looks - But her passing hit me hard and I am thinking about her several times a day. Thank you for creating this space :-)

Thank you for your honest heartfelt thoughts and process. I was so moved by your pain and love for Mel. Thank you for sharing your vulnerable thoughts with us, it was healing for me and I’m sure for so many others.

Sending you love and a giant hug, Charlotte! You are always so real and transparent and I so appreciate this about you. I'm so deeply sorry for your loss of such a sweet friend.

Thank you for making this video I know it was hard for you and giving us a place to come together and grieve for our Mel. 🙏🏻❤️🐞 Mel is and will always be a blessing and a shining star, I have cried many times since I heard the news and I only knew her from her videos. I can’t even imagine the grief her family and friends are going thru. Take your time and be patient with yourself, we love you and will be here for you.🥰🥰

Love u Charlotte!!! You explained all this sooo well. Praying for u. Be in ur feels girl! Got ur back like a sweater love bug.

Thank you for being so open about this. It´s so important to grief. Lost my husband in a car accident 3 years ago. A went through al the stages. But it does get better😘.

Thank you for making this video. Sending lots of love your way.

Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼 Sending you strength and lots of love. I miss her❤️❤️❤️

Such a sweet video. Thank you for talking about it. It’s very apparent that you both loved each other very much. I found you through a recommendation from Mel and I’ve loved watching you both. It is a very hard thing feel grief for someone in the way that so many of us have been feeling for the loss of Mel. There hasn’t been a day that has gone by where I haven’t thought about her and her family.

Mel was and is loved by so many and she will be remembered with that love always sending you and all those who loved her love comfort and support for your self care 🥰💕

A really lovely video Charlotte. Well said, and I think something I really needed to see and hear. Life is so precious and I think sometimes we forget how everything can change in an instant. I’ve watched Mel for years and was one of the silent subscribers. This makes me want to interact with KZfaqrs more so they know how much I appreciate their time. So thanks very much, I appreciate all of your videos (and accent, I’m from Canada)! Lots of love and hugs ❤️🤗

Grief is so strange - you feel like doing anything or thinking of anything else besides being upset is wrong. Anything that would usually seem important no longer does. Thank you for talking about this Charlotte - I am a fellow brit but have never been comfortable with pretending everything is fine and undermining how we feel - let it out! It's there regardless and surpressing it does nothing good ❤️

Take your time, we all get it and understand. Thank You for this video, and being real. I've held it in by myself, because who would (could) understand. The sadness and grief over someone I really didn't know. But the news was like a gut punch, I was shocked and sad and crying, and feeling really low. I think about her family and friends and it's just heartbreaking. I miss "Hello Beauties"

Thanks for opening a space to talk about grief and our grief over Mel. It’s good to hear you are processing this in a healthy way I think. It helps me deal with my grief over Mel.

Thank u for making this video and being such a good friend and human ❤️

Thank you for doing this video and creating this space. When you said that we are taught not to cry it hit me. I didn’t know Mel personally but I cried when I heard of her passing. I felt like I shouldn’t be crying because I was not really someone she knew. But she was such a beautiful person and I’ve watched her for years. I’m glad your doing ok. And I just wanted you to know that this videos was greatly appreciated. Sending virtual hugs your way 🤗

Thank you for this video, I needed it a lot, thank you for thinking of us and giving us a space to talk about our beautiful Mel 💗🥰

Thank you for sharing your heartfelt feelings. I watched Mel several times a week and it is sad and hard to know that she’s gone. Such a loss for us and oh my her family.

I'm so glad you're sharing your heart with us on this . I, we , many of us are going through grief too, Nd it's good to visit with you about it. You are so dear. Be well. Take time to be well, you hear me? We love you too, so... yeah!🙏🏼❤️🥺

I'm sending all my love and good vibes your way. Losing someone close is never never easy. I feel the void you have and I hope you find comfort in the words and messages of all the ones around you. Mel is loved. You are loved. Your grief doesn't go unnoticed and please take your time to be in the headspace that is right for you. Much love.

It’s ok not to be ok. You are amazing and appreciated. Thank you for being vulnerable with us, your distant friends. Don’t rush take your time. We will all get through this together ❤️

Thank you for sharing this. I loved Mel so much, and I’ll will always miss her!! ❤️

Watching beauty videos has been so hard since the news of Mel's passing, so I can only imagine how hard it is to film them. Her loss is felt so much each day, it really has changed a lot of our KZfaq experience. I've really struggled to find the joy in makeup because she's been such a huge part of that journey for me...I have a giant makeup collection, purchased on Mel's recommendation. I hope to one day find joy in playing in it and rewatching her videos but right now its too painful.

I am so pleased you made this video. I have been feeling so guilty about the grief I feel for Mel, because I don’t know that I have right to it. And I know that the way I feel is just it and I can’t help it, but I am only one in thousands of subscribers and compared to what you and all her loved ones are going through it feels as if I am trespassing…I know it’s silly. Thx for giving us the space to share those feelings that don’t quite makes sense right now. Hoping in time that it will xx.

Sending positive vibes and love from across the pond. We all loved Mel and will miss her forever. Take all the time you need to grieve and just know we are here for you. ❤️

Thank you for this video! So very needed! I miss Mel so much and can’t bring myself to watch her videos yet.

Thank you for sharing your feelings and being so honest Charlotte. 😘 Grief really has no timeline… Self-care is SO important too. Sending you lots of love 💕

Sending you a big hug. Grief is so personal and different for everyone but heartbreaking for all.Sudden loss is very hard to get over the initial stages and all loss is life changing. We all love you and understand how you want to continue with your videos. I felt sad for a week too before crying and I didn’t even know her!

Thank you for this, I think it is important to speak about our loved ones after they pass. It helps everyone left behind, especially their loved ones. As a widow, at one point I felt like everyone just moved on. I know that wasn’t true, but at the time that is what it felt like. It really is about not wanting to hurt those left behind and keeping yourself together. It doesn’t really help anyone. Dealing with the grief as it happens is much better for everyone. It could come out in harmful ways, mostly to yourself. It’s painful but we all have to go through it. Love you for speaking about your feelings, it truly says a lot.

Such a real and honest video Charlotte, thank you for sharing. Such a great loss for many xx💕

I feel for you. 😪 So brave to share your feelings with us this way. I hope we can help you just a little bit with your grief. Sending my love and hugs. 😙

I really loved listening to you talk about this, thank you for sharing your thoughts. As someone who doesn’t share my feelings right away, I actually find it really helpful to listen to others.

Knowing that it's difficult, I appreciate you sitting and talking with us this way about Mel even more. I am notorious at procrastinating feeling things I know need to be felt.. finally had to put some time aside this morning to sit with you and others I know feel grief at her loss and not feel strange because I've been walking around sad at losing someone the other people in my life don't necessarily know I'm grieving! Sending hugs. Mel, her family, and her friends are in my thoughts.

Thank you so much for making this video and normalizing talking about grief! We must become more comfortable sharing that we are not ok. And thank you for addressing the grief that her viewers are feeling-it’s a fairly new phenomenon in my opinion, due to social media to have connections and a relationship with people that is very personal but not a “traditional” relationship. Thanks for acknowledging that for us all. I have been devastated by loosing Mel too. I have watched her for around 5 years and would comment fairly regularly to which she would often respond to. I related to her on so many levels-I am momma of 3, have lots of tattoos, I started having autoimmune issues around the same time her health problems started…she was someone I enjoyed and also connected to with the challenges life was giving us. I have decided to tell people that I have lost an internet friend. On top of her loss, several days later my family and I lost my father in law. Life has carried a lot of grief for myself and my family for sometime now and sometimes it’s hard to find hope. Mel was a beacon of light for when life was dishing out more than we felt like we could handle and I’ll miss her for that too. I found you through her and treasure all those little things she gave me. Every time I watch you, or use my coveted milk makeup bcc eyeliner, or coveted Becca under eye primer or la mer powder I will think of her and try to smile. Finally, I get the guilt aspect too. I have felt like shit for not reaching out more to her when she posted her last video where she was sharing her tough times she was having. I regret not calling my father in law more often. But I’m trying to acknowledge that guilt is a useless emotion and doesn’t serve me well. I hope you find peace through your grief. Sending lots of love.

I am so happy to see you make this video. As a creator on KZfaq and a Nurse. Once COVID hit I continued to make content but eventually stopped because I can’t find the joy that I once did before all of the really hard stuff started. I have watched you film since loosing Mel I can see the light has dimmed but I know you will heal with time. Grief and all of the emotions can strike when we least expect it.

Thank you, and a thousand times thank you Charlotte… Thank you for this video, for giving us a space for grieving, this is not over, of course is not, sadness is always there, sometimes it hits hard and sometimes we just think we forgot but not really, it takes its time and every person processes the loss differently. For me the steps of grief are just a guide to understand what is happening with our minds, a help but not a to-do-list. Thank you again for share with us what we ourselves can’t share with anyone else in our lives. Lots of love, take your time to heal 😘😘😘

Sorry for your loss, Mel was a beautiful lady and I’m going to miss her too. I love your content, your honesty and you often make me laugh. It’s ok to be feeling like you are we’re here for you whatever.

Im so sorry for the pain that you are feeling from your loss. I was new to her channel and could feel her beautiful spirit in her videos. Grief is such a personal experience and I believe talking about it is the most important way of processing it. Thank you for sharing yourself in this way.

Charlotte ❤️ I loved this video so much. Thank you, honestly I'm so sorry for your grief, but by you expressing it through this video, made me feel so much better that I was feeling the same, and felt like nobody understood. I'm pretty sure it is because of you that I found Mel's channel last year. I feel like I've lost a dear friend. I really appreciate this, and I hope that as time goes by, that the grieving process gets less painful for you, but I can relate to almost everything you said. Thank you 💗🙏 Sending love from Australia! 🇦🇺 x

Thank you for this video Charlotte ❤️ this is so precious 🌹✨

Thanku Charollet for sharing ur feelings nd so honest❤️❤️lots of love 💗

This is exactly how I feel too! Thank you for sharing this because it truly is painful. I’ve tried to watch other people’s videos but I feel the same. It’s like I smile but it doesn’t go to my heart. And I didn’t even truly know her! But I know this is normal in grief. It truly feels awful to see the world continue spinning. It feels wrong! Seeing people stop and recognize this helps justify my own pain. Again, I didn’t know her but she was a voice I looked forward to hearing and a smile I looked forward to seeing. She once spoke of one of my messages in one of her videos and it was one of the neatest moments for me!

Thank you for such a heartfelt video. You are stronger than you think. ❤️❤️

Oh bless you Charlotte. I'm one of those who do not normally comment as I am an introvert myself, but watching this made me want to say that I appreciate everything you have talked about and can relate to it all. I watch your videos all the time as I did Mel and love them and have been in shock by her passing. Let yourself grieve and you will start to feel better over time. Take care hun xx

This video is just what I needed today. Love your raw emotion and honesty. This video will help so many people. Sending you love and hugs 💝💝💝

Charlotte thank you for this heartfelt video. I'm glad that you're doing ok and are surrounded with love and support. It's so important to talk about grief. Although I never knew Mel personally I really loved who she was. I loved how caring and generous she was, she really cared and was such a wonderful person. I miss her so much. When I think about her being gone, the tears just roll down my face. Yesterday I thought about Christmas and her not being there with her kids and husband and cried all over again. I miss her, she was such a bright light in this community. Charlotte take care of yourself and again thank you for this video, we really needed this. Sending you love from Canada!

Such a powerful video Charlotte. All of us have to live through various forms of grief yet people still try to hide it and keep it ‘private’ when we can all hell each other. The stages of grief model is now recognised as not being linear - you go in and out of phases and cycle round and go back - it’s different for everyone. And when you talk about anger I think, like we ALL do, you are feeling some of that as you are focusing it back on yourself for not sending more messages etc when this is how we all think when any loss happens. When you talked about your day out I FELT that. I took my boys to Harry Potter world back a few years ago and one of my school friends had died a few weeks earlier. Well OMG. In that dark room with all the model lit up at the end like you said the water just started to flow and flow out my eyes! Not even tears just streams and streams. I had to sit in the corner and cry for over an hour - people were staring but it just went on and on! Then I drove the kids 4 hours home still crying!! You’ve got this xxxx

Why in the heck would someone downvote this? We all knew you were closer to Mel than others and yet they have an issue with you expressing grief. Everyone grieves differently and just being able to talk about those we lose is very special. Love how you took time for yourself with LOTR

Thank you so much for this, Charlotte. Thank you for being honest because I am feeling the exact same way and I never met her.

Thank you for sharing your grief. I’ve never met any of you and am fairly new to the beauty community. It’s so strange the kind of grief I felt when I learned of Mel’s passing. But how do I explain that to my friends who don’t know about this digital space I’ve grown to love. Thank you all for sharing and collaborating and loving each other so much. It trickles down and that’s why we are all here. The space she left behind is felt. My deepest condolences 💐

You’re spot on about keeping people alive in discourse- and you are awesome for continuing to think and talk about this. I miss Mel very much - and I’m with you seeing the videos pop up in my feed always makes me think for a second she is posting, but I’m also glad to see her still there

I have so much to say!!!! First off, I'm so glad to hear you're taking the time to heal. This was a beautiful video and done so well. I loved how you talked about the little girl in school's jumper. We have all been there of trying to protect someone's feelings. These old rules we try to follow don't serve us anymore!!!! My heart broke when you talked about the notes and messages. Ugh. It reminded me of Kelsee's video. When she said "I thought I would have her for forever". Man that hit hard. We all think that and we all would be in that exact same spot. So my heart goes out to you. Your personality does better with clearing out the inboxes and paper clutter, that just means your heart stores those messages. That is what that stone in your chest was. The other things I wanted to add was Mel's passing hit me hard. I had a few comments from her and I was excited each time. I was full on shocked when I heard. I am only on youtube so I dont know if I heard later but I found out from your post with Kelsee's gofundme. It was a ton of bricks that stopped me in my tracks. It still isnt real because she is so present in my feed. Its beautiful to see her face but its hard. I have watched a few videos and I keep commenting that I miss her. I'm glad her husband is keeping it up. But its hard seeing her face. I cant imagine your pain. I was angry in the beginning that my entire feed wasn't about her. It seemed so futile to have any other content. Then I realized you guys are grieving and I calmed down. Once a few videos were posted, I was like ok ok, and remembered with editing and delays. But also grieving and being real people. But now, its hard to feel that it'll go back to normal. I still want it to be Mel 24/7. So it is a blessing to have her all over my feed. I had a breakdown in my therapy session over her yesterday. I told my therapist that my youtube creator passed. I explained and my therapist is a seasoned expert and said she hasn't come across this yet! Personally or professionally. She personally is on instagram and follows some young people so she could relate to the influencer relationship. She said she never thought it happening before. I just cried and said I keep seeing Mel's thumbnail photo when I'm not on youtube. I also said in my session how with influencers it is a confusing relationship. You touched on this how you might not know we exist but we know about your life. What I want to add might be strange..bear with me! You know in horror movies when people are about to get killed they share personal information about themselves to build human connection with said killer? WE have that bond with influencers to the 9s! We know so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So its confusing and I know people might feel some sort of way about grieving someone they never met, but if they paused and thought about all the personal information they know about each influencer?! No wonder they are grieving! They are now human to us! Human connection is real! Brene Brown has a great book in human connection and I think of it often. I can't get out of this text screen but its like in the wilderness or something like that. Anyway, we love you. We appreciate you. I thank you. I lean on you and I hope you lean right back❤😘

Thank you for being so open and honest. Mel was such a beautiful person - the day I heard of her passing I literally felt as if I’d been hit fair and square in the face with a frying pan ….. only way I can describe it ….. and now it’s just incredible sadness for her and her beautiful family. I miss seeing her face popping up in my feed but I’m thankful that I got to watch such a talent. Please take care of yourself and know you are appreciated 💗

Thank you, Charlotte, for sharing yourself and this video. While I'm sad for Mel's passing, this video was helpful in my own grief of losing my dad earlier this year. And the laughter definitely helps during tough times. Sending hugs your way 🤗 and lifting up our lost ones in spirit 🙏🏽.

Thank you for being so real. I have been feeling like its surreal to see people posting reviews and things and going on like nothing has happened. Something did happen and it's a loss that needs to be acknowledged. Thank you for being genuine and real 🙏

Thank you, I think about Mel every day and I have not been able to re-watch any of her videos since her passing…I am not ready yet.

Thank you so much for this video. I was so confused as to why I felt so much grief for someone I had never met. You saying that was perfectly normal somehow makes me feel better. I am praying for all those that loved her. Hopefully making this video will help you work through your grief.

So glad you were able to express your feelings. Thank you.

Thank you for this I have been watching her videos for support of her family and because I miss her videos I watched her every morning for years as I do your videos and it feels very odd to feel such grief and yet I feel it

Bless your heart, for opening up sharing and making this video. We all do miss here and it does feel like there is a big void with her gone. She was a kind soul we all loved. Thank you for honoring her and allowing yourself the time & space to heal and sit with all of your emotions. I’m so glad for the love & support that you have from your fellow KZfaq creators and subscribers. The world needs more love. 💕💖 Thanks for being that person. Keep shining babe ✨❤️

Hello Charlotte, I am just like you, I am still grieving and it is very difficult. I send you a lot of love and a great big hug and want to thank you for this video and is so brave and honest and helpful. ❤️❤️❤️

It’s impossibly difficult when a young, vibrant person suddenly dies….Long before their time. I agree completely with your thoughts, here. Grief is different for everyone. It is still haunting me, terribly, that our Mel, is no longer here. Thank you for doing this. It was so helpful.❤️

Yup. Thank you for this. I didn’t know her, so for me, it’s been a strange undercurrent of melancholy to life lately, like nothing will amount to much, and not much is inherently going to be ok, but not in a front-of-face, dire way, but absolutely there. And I’ve been watching her videos a bit, and yes, I can honestly say I ain’t ok about that sweet lady’s loss. I APPRECIATE you sharing this soooo much, Charlotte. Thank you.

God bless you, @charlotteholdcroft. Such a needed video. Thank you for sharing your grief journey. Please take the time for your grief. I did not know Mel personally. I only knew her from watching and commenting on her videos. Im not sure why I was so upset by her passing, but I was and still am. I've been unable to watch her new videos without crying. I know that watching her channel benefits the family and helps to keep her channel accessible, so I've been trying to watch her older videos. Know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

Bless you Charlotte, I think you’re so brave to talk about grief. You really captured how so many of us are feeling who didn’t know Mel personally but are still experiencing this huge loss. It’s just made me appreciate the information you, Mel and our other favourite KZfaqrs give us so that we feel like a community of friends. Mel’s videos are constantly recommended to me but today is the first day I’ve been able to watch her. These are videos I’ve seen years before which are good baby steps, but I still can’t bring myself to watch her Wayne Goss video. Thank you for talking to us about this and for all your content. Sending you lots of love and support xx

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. This has been a difficult time for a lot of us. I agree, although a lot of us weren't personally close to Mel, she was our special friend. I don't comment much on KZfaq, but please know that you are definitely special to me. 💖

You are so genuine and real Charlotte! ❤️ I love you for that. And you are so well spoken, and talk about these things with such wisdom and grace. Mel was so special 💖 and easy to like. Her kindness poured out from her and reached us through the screen all across the globe! She is dearly missed, and it's such a tragedy that she died so young ❤️

I think this is SO important to talk about especially in these times.

This whole process has been so crazy. I never interacted with Mel more than in comments but I loved watching her and feeling like I was just having fun with my friend. This is a really hard grief process bc it doesn’t feel like I should be this upset bc I didn’t “know” her personally but we all loved her personality and we all deserve to feel the feelings. My heart goes out to you and all who loved her. ❤️❤️

Love you and appreciate you Charlotte, you always find the right words to say. 😘 I wasn't a subscriber of Mel's but watched a lot of her content and have been upset about the news, I couldn't even comment about it before now as trying to process why I'm so upset having not known her. And why I'm losing interest in makeup videos since she has passed. Thanks for this video, it's an immense comfort.

I applauded you for this video and broaching this topic. You are a 100% correct. People are so awkward and uncomfortable with the concept of death. When both my parents passed away, people were fine with offering sympathy in the immediate aftermath. As months passed, they were eager to move on or telling me to be strong. I recall when my dad passed I was 18 and people kept telling me be strong, be strong for your mother. While I know people mean well, grieving publicly, crying is not a sign of weakness. It is a means of processing and coming to terms with loss. I think there is no timetable for grief. It is not linear and has no order. Don’t hold yourself to those lists. People should be allowed to feel what they feel and not perform for the comfort for others. When I went the group grief counseling, I recall being surprised that there were people who had lost someone several years prior. But since then I understand that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, no right or wrong time to grieve. Check with your phone carrier, sometimes they can retrieve deleted messages.

I was absolutely shocked and in disbelief when I heard about Mel. It didn’t seem real for days. I was so sad for at least a week. And I couldn’t explain it to people (other than my fiancé) because I don’t know anyone who watches beauty KZfaq like I do. Her videos keep popping up in my timeline too, and it’s just another reminder. Thank you for making this video! I know it was cathartic for you, but it is for a lot of us too. Sending you virtual hugs from the states!

Thank you so much for making this video. I lost my Dad last October, and my feelings have been very near the surface the last day or two at a time when I feel under a lot of pressure at work. I needed a good cry and this video helped me do that so I am going to keep it in my KZfaq library to revisit.

Big hugs to you ❤️ Mel was such a beautiful person inside and out. Definitely left a hole in our lives/the community 🌹🌹🌹🌹

Charlotte, I spent this video nodding my head as I recognized my own past experiences with grief in what you were saying. I’m glad you’ve got so much support around you and that you’ve felt all the love and healing thoughts coming your way from all of us. I must say, I’ve been happily amazed with how people in Mel’s (and yours and Kelsee’s etc) part of the beauty space have responded to her death. You’ve all built a lovely community (so drama-free, so free of catty-ness and gossip) and I’m thankful to be a tiny micro part of it. Sending everyone healing and peace. ❤️