art deco one of my favorite jokes ever.

I love Emo Philips❤❤

art deco Was surprised to know he married Judy Tenuta

too long to get to the punch line.

You must be Great Lakes Region Council of 1879.

Sounds like dear old dead (in THIS show) Dad Marty .🤓😎✌🏻

There's a reason he got his own spinoff that was wildly successful. (Eyes up, Guardian)

This is most certainly true!

As a hanseatic Lutheran - This is sooo hilariously American lutheran.

@@ccattery are you saying you're a Hansidic Lutheran?🤔 I heard of Hansidic Jews. So some Christians are morphing back into Judas. 🤔Lol

@@ccattery what about the Scandinavian Lutherans? You are just so Hanseatic!

@@georgeplagianos6487 Hanseatic means like Northern Germany and is unrelated to Hasidic Jews. Preferably google a term before you call someone a Judaizer

Epitome was a word common in documents at work, we never could convince Lorraine that it didn't rhyme with comb.

Yes with her Barbie collection lo

Sorry about the breakup. Are you Berengariusian?

@@ken8334 Nope, we just believe that it is bread and it is Christ's body. (Sacramental Union).

A similar situation happened to me. I'm LCMS and my ex is now a female minister for the PCUSA.(theologically liberal) Back when we were dating before she became a minister, I took her to my hometown and church and she created a huge fuse because my church practices closed communion.

@@thorgot911 Dang that's rough. At least it sounds like she believed communion actually is/does something, but yeah, that must have been heartbreaking.

Presby's can be asses sometimes. Not always, but I've met more mean Presby's than mean Lutherans or even Baptists

A very wise man your grandfather

My buddy has a button on his night stand that says “yes dear” when you press it. It also says “you’re absolutely right” and “why didn’t I think of that?”

Ha ha I like it!

the trouble with inconsequential literature, is it, distances the hearer from the real truth.. Sorry I.. "yes dear"

I use it to lighten the mood. Choices are: 1) Keep attempting to "win" the argument. 2) Silent treatment. 3) Convince yourself that she's right out of fear. 4) Just say "yes dear" and move on to something you care about more. It isn't a bad response. You transparently voice your disagreement along with saying you'll go along with it for the time being. I like to say it with raised eyebrows and a pleasant smile. "You're really drawing a line in the sand over this? Okay your highness, I don't have to win this battle. Let's move on."

The two are supposed to be pretty dense so that is why they didn't plan. If you watched the show you would know that 😊

What Mormons believe is VERY different from what most Christians believe. For example, most denominations of Christianity do not teach that Jesus and Satan are brothers, nor do they teach that humans can become gods someday and rule over their own planets, nor do they teach that the angel Gabriel delivered a revelation to Joseph Smith in 1838, nor do they teach that POC have dark skin because they were cowards during the "pre-existence."

tintinismybelgian You say that as if it was a BAD thing.

Isn't the whole joke here is that the two denominations aren't very different but Woody and his wife treat them like they are? Why do people find that weird?

Buckaroo Banzai they are very different. the ELCA is effectively Episcopalian, a very very liberal church body anymore. The Anglican/Episcopal Church and all Lutheran Church bodies used to be very much so on the same page, except their respective views on Apostolic Succession. But now the ELCA and Episcopal Church aren't uniformly convinced Scripture is inerrant. They ordain women and practicing homosexuals, marry homosexuals, and give out Holy Communion to practically anyone. That is only to name a few false doctrines they confess. The LCMS however has stayed much closer to the the One True Faith as taught by Jesus and His Apostles.

@@nathanielstuck2422 meanwhile I'm over here, a lapsed Catholic giggling my tits off. What's more, my mother converted from the ELA to Catholicism because she was fed up with how intolerant the Lutherans had become and to share a religion with my father, her mother refused to go to her wedding, and so her FATHER conspired with the family doctor to drug her mom up good and dopey so she would be a good girl at the wedding. THATS why its so funny. Some of us have lived this stuff. (Not that the Roman church is so much better; check father Ted.)

@@williamfroh8830 The Book of Concord was never considered to be = to the Bible. The thought is frankly absurd. Is it inerrant, I believe that to be true, and I think the LCMS would back me up there. Is it infallible, no because it is capable of error? The difference is key. As it is a document written by humans, not divinely inspired in the same way as the Scriptures, it cannot be infallible, it must be capable of error, as humans without the strict intervention of God are capable of Error, and so anything written solely by them must not be infallible. Is the Book of Concord doctrinally sound in all aspects, of course. A distinction such as the one you are making is not only impertinent to make but actually unhelpful as well. Sure there are a bunch of small Lutheran church bodies over America, I'm just not quite convinced that's a meaningful statement. You are just stating the facts. An example of why you distinguishing the different church bodies means little is an example of the AELC and the LCMS. Both churches are in full communion with each other, yet maintain their distinct identities. They are in agreement doctrinally but are different church bodies.

@@pipsdontlie3031 your right about the Bible and the book of concord not being equal. My teacher once told me inexact language is the causes of many heres.The book of concord is correct because it agrees with scripture. I still know that The Lutheran Church Missouri Synod is way too liberal in their theology and practice. The reason the Lutheran Church is so divided is precisely what you stated men make errors. When your trying to get all the dots on i's and crosses on t's to line up there is bound to be disagreement.

​@@williamfroh8830 I disagree that the LCMS is way too liberal. I also don't think the Lutheran Church is actually all that heavily divided, and I think the evidence of that is in how much we fight about small doctrinal differences. I think if we were actually greatly divided, you would see a lot more significant differences between each other. Now I am conveniently excluding the ELCA in this equation, mostly because as I think I hinted at above, I don't really see the ELCA as a real Lutheran church just as much as I don't see the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as a Church that actually worships Christ. You can have all sorts of names in your title, it doesn't make you actually that thing.

@@pipsdontlie3031 well i agree with you about both the ELCA and Mormons. Living in Utah i have had hundreds possibly thousands of conversations with Mormons about theological topics. I was at one time LCMS about 18 years ago. I went to the Rocky Mountain conference and i was horrified at the disunity. I started looking for a new church right after that. There are some good pastors and people in the LCMS. But the open communion and the attacks on the liturgical worship found in many places is to liberal for me. I don't meet many Lutherans out side my congregation and i appreciate you for taking time to respond.please fell free to continue

What I want most to know about, is the part in the Book of Concord about the heavenly barbed wire and barking dogs. That sounds most interesting. Could someone expound on that please.

Yes dear!

Yep...no I mean Yes Dear.

For my Aunt and Uncle's 50th wedding anniversary he got up and told us he would reveal the secret of a long and happy marriage. "I don't get involved in my wife's affairs," he explained. He paused for effect and continued, "and I don't get involved in my affairs either." LOL. Hilarious guy.

You sound really bummed about it. Sorry, man! I've never married, and that has served me well. Best regards from Indiana!

The great comedian, Bill Burr, once said, “happy wife, happy life”.

A lot of ELCA views are not close to Martin Luther's views.

That's because Lutherans are Christians and LCMS are heretical worshipers of Martin Luther.

That's because the ELCA as a whole has very loose Eucharistic theology and because they are in full communion with three different reformed denominations + the Episcopal and Methodist churches they have often just said that Christ is present in the elements in order to appease the other groups' Calvinistic view of the sacrament as opposed to their own Lutheran theology of sacramental union: the physical body and blood in union with the bread and the wine. I'm fortunate enough to attend a very "high church" liturgical ELCA parish where we celebrate the Eucharist weekly, bow before the altar and tabernacle, and observe the sacrament with a real reverence, the reverence that it deserves. Also, because the ELCA is in full communion with (for example) the Reformed Church in America it means that an RCA pastor could preside over communion in my church (I doubt this would ever actually happen to be honest) and I most certainly would pass on communion that Sunday. It's disappointing because something I described did happen in America before...there was a "Lutheran" pastor called Samuel Schmucker and he was trained at Princeton, a reformed seminary. He in fact tried to change to Augsburg Confession to have a Calvinistic view of the sacraments in order to become more acceptable in the scope of American Protestantism. Luckily in the 1860s many churches broke away from Schmucker's group in reaction to his theology and they founded a different association of Lutheran churches. Then in 1918 these groups unfortunately came back together and through many mergers over the 20th century we now have the ELCA. I've often considered leaving the ELCA over the Eucharistic theology entirely (also the absurd movement to use gender neutral pronouns when referring to God which the ELCA has embraced by Tweeting a prayer that began with "Mother God..." or their pastors at conventions referring to God as "our heavenly parent" but I digress) however I feel that remaining faithful to my church which yes is part of the ELCA but holds to the Lutheran confessions is the best option for me. I'm very very progressive myself but I think some things just need to be kept out of the room when I'm in church, heck, my church doesn't even an American flag flying in the sanctuary and Amen to that. I'm sorry I was so long-winded but I hope that this made some sense.

I'm an ELCA Lutheran and our congregation considers the Sacraments as means of grace

Is the term: you whip those you love, and you Love those you hate, ever been more applicable?

That's pretty much what my mother used to think.

Lol and Today you can't even find Lutheran single woman on a Christian dating app. Them sisters in Christ all go to those modern churches like Hillsong or megachurches....seems like I'm born too late 🤣🤣🤣 ah well

🤦

There was a joke like that on The Simpsons, once, when Bart and Homer start investigating catholicism because they're thinking of putting Bart in catholic school and the two of them are kidnapped by Ned Flanders and Rev. Lovejoy, who says "We're taking you back to the one true religion" "What's that?" "The Western Reform Branch of American Presbo-Lutheranism!"

He is ofcourse wrong in his sedituous side, he being wealthy, and not giving the time of day to help others, but by mere wordjumbles. Correcting someone for being wrong doesn't equate to 120 dollars an hour. But it's just my take on the subject.

Davey from the footlocker?

@@SightForMemories Davey, from the old claymation series, produced by the Lutheran Church in America.

@@garykuovideos Wow, so many people don't know Davey and Goliath? Youngsters!

11 years before what?

ah, but under the bottom foils cats. and sometimes if you have a roll holder that's perpendicular to the toilet, it'll be facing one way to a person sitting and another to a person standing and facing the opposite way.

@@KairuHakubi Yes, but clearly this adds to the evidence that cats are of the devil, does it not? Because dogs don't lead you into temptation to hang the toilet paper the wrong way. Because they'll generally be too busy drinking the toilet water to mess with the toilet paper anyway, unless you got the bacon flavored kind. I'm assuming that there must be a bacon flavored toilet paper by now...somewhere, lol. And I suspect that if someone is so easily confounded in the restroom by which way the toilet paper is hanging, they're probably doing #1 or #2 perpendicularly to the toilet anyway, in which case they have bigger problems.

@@KairuHakubi Remember...dogs have masters, cats have staff. Dogs won't deliberately destroy anything if they know it's truly important to you, although you're not perfect, because they love you. Cats will destroy anything, without regard to whether it is important to you, in part BECAUSE you love them, and because you are not perfect. And even if you ARE perfect, just because it's there. Because to cats, you are the staff. To dogs, you are a Diety.

@@DUCKDUCKGOISMUCHBETTER it's true. dogs also have impulse control problems and seem to feel guilt afterward.

@@KairuHakubiYes. They're much smarter than they like for us to think. "Ultimate Dog Tease" (hilarious short video) kzfaq.info/get/bejne/pK2VfraaqLfPgKs.html

It's a comedy from the 80s. It's not a morality tale of sociology class. We normally say ha ha and enjoy the ironic farce.

@@STho205 - No, you are wrong. Yes, yes it is.

Progressing??!! Obviously you crack your egg at the wrong end! Just kidding. Carry on.

Digressing really

Silence troll

I've gone to Reformed Churches all my life, Dutch, French, German and Scottish(Presbyterian) and I never heard that one.

And the pain of re-concilling with a woman takes ten oxen, as with their children, they are hard to please, for any purpose other than marriage. Speak Truth and your path is laid; Be bold and you shall have virtue; speak Love and you shall be killed.

New England accent perhaps?

pastorart1974 It's Missouri Synod

pastorart1974 Kelly pronounced it the same way.It's called not knowing how the word is pronounced.

Gee I thought I was the only one anal enough to want to take issue with that.

Syn-odd pronunciation stood out to me, too. I think it's pronounced more like a neutral vowel sound. Synid.

Yep

Now THERE's an inside joke if I ever heard one.

How about with boiled eggs? Narrow, wide, or middle?

Middle with respect to centre of gravity or length?

the problem is that Sam always was subdued by dians and never could stand her when she became all highnosed... the trouble with the other lady was that they could tackle more serious issues besides Sam's obsession with the body.

You know, they could have solved their problems with a covered dish supper and coffee.

My parents had a mixed marriage. My father was an Episcopalian, and my mother was a Librarian.

I'm Episcopalian and my sister's husband is Jewish, and their kids celebrate all the holidays.

Woody is a dumbass after all...

Yea I made that mistake.

Doesn’t matter. People change religion all the time. How many divorces occur based upon changes of any kind?

It’s a TV show

@@PInk77W1 Thanks genius...we all thought it was a hidden camera reality show.

Lutheran and Episcopalian are like diet catholic

Protestant is the way to go, very cerebral, and not lying about yourself to others. Hint: catholic priests.. Wink Wink.

@@matthewwilson3202 I had a friend who was a Catholic priest (who's sadly passed away) who once jokingly called my Lutheran faith "Catholic Lite"

@@almostfm God is God, diet or otherwise

Out of the frying pan, into the fire...?

And only Jesus the Christ kept both tables of the Law perfectly in our stead.

@@MPeaches1958 I think *Frasier did just fine.

Cheers, hands down

Without a doubt.

Frasier on Frasier

Cheers Frasier.

Ian Mccown My favorite Frasier is Frasier on the tv show Frasier, however I like Lilith better in Cheers.

Revelations 3:16: "So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." This applies to the egg cracking question too, probably.

@@alanlight7740 What about soft boiled eggs, which are cooked hot but kind of lukewarm when you serve them??

@@matthewwelch4305 - now you understand why I have always disliked soft boiled eggs, and will spew them from my mouth if accidentally consumed.

Mine too!

That's probably because they've divided enough that they have to have a string of modifiers to explain precisely who they are (just like many government agencies!) so they resort to abbreviations.

Part of it might be that if a church's structure isn't strong enough, its members will start dividing over their disagreements. Even the Anglicans have started dividing. Only time will tell if they're going to have so many schisms that they need to start using letters.

If you believed that, then you would believe he wouldn't let His Word be tampered with. But you don't believe that in fullness or truth.

Oh my God, I thought they were making all that up! Sweet Jesus, the insanity.

If one religion can exclude based on their beliefs then so can Christians sects. No one questions Jews or Islamics demands on others. Not to mention how off the rails INSANE the Vatican/Pope is - that by the way is as far from Christian as any OTHER non-Christian church.

+Rebekah Sims most elca get their theology wrong - that is why they are elca

How so? (Former ELCA pastor here.)

Because the ELCA puts man in judgement of the scriptures. I still remember going to an ELCA church once. The lector was reading from the epistles and gospel (no OT reading that day), and told the congregation to "Listen for the word of the Lord." Once a church's anchor to scripture is cut loose, there is no telling where she will land and any storm will sink the ship. A lack of grounding in scripture and church discipline is why ELCA seminaries deny one or all of the basic tenets of Christianity, (biblical inerrancy, biblical infallibility, substitution atonement, depravity of man, the Resurrection and much more). When you have ELCA seminary profs saying that Jesus was nothing more than a righteous man who said good stuff, was crucified, his body was taken off the cross and left to be food for dogs and vultures; you know you have a church that does not preach the Euangelion. I don't mean to say that ELCA pastors are atheists in vestments, there are many God-fearing men and women among them but sadly, that is not always the case. I would like to call the ELCA my brothers and sisters in Christ, I would like to cherish the Eucharist at their alter... but I can't, they won't let me. I don't want it to be true, but unfortunately it is: The ELCA: Churches with a cross that does not save, containing a Bible that's not inerrant, preaching a Jesus that's not divine.

Yes, I know. I missed the remark about the Sacraments. But then, how seriously does the ELCA take the Sacraments OR the Word?

"at their altar" Some people know how to take the laughter out of a great bit.

I loved that show❤

ELA HERESY!!!! Nah, I kid. You're right, it's ok. BUT... Moral Orel is the modern version of D&G and it might as well be the ELCA today. A dumpster fire.

Especially now since it's all on KZfaq, including the 2005 special, which pretty explicitly is welcoming to non-Christians! (EncourageTV channel.)

Mary Schulstad one time they said LCA the other time they said ELCA.

So is Scarjo and Natalie Portman. They can purty too. Duh.

Funny, but to be honest, LCMS and ELCA are basically different religions all together. ELCA are literally heretics

@ Bob - As a guy who can’t tell the difference, sure. 😂

There are plenty of atheists who not only feel the need to TRY to convert people to their way of thinking but to FORCE people to convert to their way of thinking. You can find them in Havana, Beijing, Pyongyang, etc.. TRYING to convert people to their way of thinking, by persuasion, is what those do who actually do believe something. FORCING conversion is when it becomes evil, and no one has done that more than atheists in the last 300 years--though Muslims are taking a run at that now.

Funny thing, though. The Soviet government thought it had almost extinguished Christianity, that no one was a Christian any more but a handful of old ladies who'd been born under the Tsar. In 1991, the Soviet Union fell, and it turned out that there were over 100 million Christians in Russia. Forced conversions won't last any longer than the force that was used to obtain them.

Today's ELCA embraces any theological belief about Christ's Presence in the Sacrament of the Altar--really present, spiritually present, just symbols of His presence or just a memorial meal.

+texasdawn123 it will take another split to let the radicals in elca go off the cliff and the true Lutherans come back (or stay) with Christianity

ELCA MAKES confessional Lutherans sad so does LCMS😞

So far.

@Kevin L You didn't have religion when you came here, otherwise you wouldn't have viewed it as "a dumb thing".

@@TristanHayes round end or narrow?

Right there with ya, bud!

If one's religion has true meaning to an individual, it should make a difference.

@@mhuston865 round end or narrow end?

Minnesota over Missouri any Sunday.

JordanAP96 HERETIC!!!

Gulliver’s Travels reference.

BURN in HELL, you _heretic!_ .... 😉

well what is a fruit in the bible, but your offspring? Set in a tree? about to fall... and you're told not to touch it..

We'll he does have a PhD in psychoanalysis....but then again Judith the jew also has a PhD in behavioral psychology.... the heretic

At least you're not one of those heathens who believes in cracking an egg on the side. "So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." - Revelations 3:16

fooser77 Where does one find Ukrainian, Russian Orthodox women like you describe, besides the Ukraine? Don't the Russian Orthodox have the same problens with Confessional Lutherans; e.g , we're heretics?

Well said!

I agree to this as a Lutheran

Andrew Bjork Good for you.

Jacob Hatcher I'm Baptist who have dated a former Presbyterian and now she's a Southern Baptist

Depends on how free-will the baptist is. Less free-will Baptists believe in "once-saved always saved", so it shouldn't be that hard for a less free-will baptist to get along with a Presby.

Having attended a fair number of both Presbyterian and Baptist churches during my youth, most members don't seem to care much about the minor doctrinal differences between the two. In fact, it's not uncommon for people to switch back and forth between the two churches depending on what local congregation they fit in best with.

I'm one too lol

Great I'm ELS

@@williamfroh8830 Heretic