There you go!!! Take your silly h*ll song!!!
(I'm actually pretty happy with this one, so I hope you enjoy)
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LYRICS:
Here lies Chonny!
You can tell it's him 'cos we put his name on the stone...
Ran his showers red hot!
Never too good for a potshot.
Take the long way 'round to work when the song got to the good part.
He'd try to stay humble, but inevitably stumble
when the kind words rolled in and his humility crumbled.
Always dwell on what hurt him, lament and reassess.
Bimonthly sink; depress in senseless, excess mental abscess.
Tried to fight the demons that had caused him such stress.
At about thirty-five, died of... well,
take a guess.
Took his golden ascension.
His family and friends incensed with fear and tension
beyond their comprehension.
"Catch ya later! I'm off to see the man upstairs.
Let's hope he ain't been paying too much attention..."
There was an angel at the entrance, checking off a guest list.
Chonny wasn't on it and was ushered to the exit.
But let's be frank,
we did expect this.
"Excuse me, sir! There must be something I could do ya for.
Perhaps a favour - or a fiver - might open up those pearly doors.
I'm awfully hard-working! There's something I could do, I'm sure."
Pleading with the angels while they pushed him through the door.
"I said excuse me, sir! There must be something I could do ya for.
Perhaps a favour - or a fiver! - might open up those pearly doors.
I'm awfully hard-working! There's something I could do, I'm sure."
Pleading with the angels while they pushed him through the door.
"ALL HOPE ABANDON, YE WHO ENTER IN!"
Oh! Don't mind the sign, my friend. Its threat is weak and thin.
We really only have it there to keep those squares upstairs at bay.
We just started a hand of poker. You wanna play?
Uh-ha! Oh, right.
You thought we'd have some chained up whores, tangled;
hanged up by extension cords?
A hellfire spit-roast main course, with a side of fried landlords?
Well, sorry for the fright, but you can't believe all you read in the paper.
That hit piece you call 'The Bible' was written by the world's greatest hater.
(The world is run by evil people.)
And yes, of course, the Devil's wrought true wrath upon the wicked scourge;
a murderer or rapist best beware his violent force.
But here, we mostly dwell in what the fools up there expel.
An awfully diverse cast of critters resides down here in Hell.
There was a demon cloaked in flames, putting checks on an invite list.
Beside a line of names had lied a guide of signed indictments.
"The bright, white islands high would get the boring ones excited,
but trust me, man, you wouldn't like it."
"So do excuse me, sir. There must be something we could do ya for.
Perhaps a snack or beverage - on the house - from Casa Infierno.
There are plenty like-minded folk here! Perhaps they might entice you more..."
Winking at the 'sinner' while they walked him through the door.
"Excuse me, sir. There must be something we could do ya for.
Perhaps a snack or beverage - on the house! - from Casa Infierno.
There are plenty like-minded folk here! Perhaps they might entice you more..."
Winking at the 'sinner' while they walked him through the door.
You can run from your demons until you are exhausted.
One day, you will have to stop and find out what they wanted.
Keep running from your demons, till you are exhausted.
You can run to those angels until you are exhausted.
One day, you will have to stop and question what they wanted.
Keep running to those angels, till you are exhausted.
"So do excuse me, sir. There must be something we could do ya for.
(I don't want to die.) (Shut up, you're stupid. Just kiss me.)
Perhaps a snack or beverage - on the house - from Casa Infierno.
(At war with every species, from Dinosaur to Seaweed.)
There are plenty like-minded folk here! Perhaps they might entice you more..."
(Please don't let me die.) (Shut up, you're stupid. Just hold my friggin' hand.)
Winking at the 'sinner' while they walked him through the door.
(There will be no romance.)
"Excuse me, sir. There must be something we could do ya for.
(I don't want to die.) (Shut up, you're stupid. Just kiss me.)
Perhaps a snack or beverage - on the house! - from Casa Infierno.
(At war with every species. Veni. Vidi. Vici.)
There are plenty like-minded folk here! Perhaps they might entice you more..."
(Please don't let me die.) (Shut up, you're stupid. Just be my friggin' man.)
Winking at the 'sinner' while they walked him through the door.