I just realized that Fergus never cried or was truly open and vulnerable with anyone except Claire. Jenny took care of Fergus somewhat as her own during the 20 years Claire and Jamie were gone, but it seemed like he never was open or vulnerable with her, rather feeling the need to show strength at all times in a manly way. This isn’t to say that he didn’t love or trust Jenny, but she wasn’t truly his mother. When Fergus was excited or scared, he would hug and be hugged by Claire in a way he never hugged anyone else. At Prestonpans when he came back having killed a redcoat, she is the only one he showed his true shock and guilt about it to and was given sympathetic comfort about the horrors he saw on the battlefield rather brushing it off and being told to celebrate the win. He would later brag about his horrific deed to others that he that it was done in a strong, manly way as a soldier, something to be proud of rather than the horror it actually was, and only his mother knowing how he truly felt about it. When he saw Claire again all those years later, he gave her such a deep hug, and in the books actually broke down on his knees crying more than likely for the first time in many years, being vulnerable with her once more. All the tears we see him shed are with her, and she is the one we see him open up to emotionally about his problems as a husband and father the most. He was always very close with his idol and father Jamie as well, in the early days, showing himself as worthy to be needed to protect Claire and stand by his side, showing bravery throughout the war, and accepting his duties with strength and resolve, leaving them at Culloden, knowing that he might not ever see his parents again. During the time Jamie lived in the cave, Fergus showed the strength that Jamie couldn’t have and wasn’t able to really show his own emotion about Claire‘s absence and what the grief was like for him, and when Jamie finally came back 12 years later he was also helping him through grief again until Claire was restored to them once more. Obviously, we see Fergus break down crying with Jamie when Jamie rescued him from trying to take his own life but that’s really the first time we see him being that vulnerable with Jamie. Fergus was obviously open with Marsali too while trying to still appear strong, manly, and husbandly, and so when she was attacked, and when Claire was taken and treated so badly, he felt that guilt even more deeply seeing her in such a hurt and vulnerable state, shedding a tear once more. Claire was the only one he never had to constantly act overly manly for, or shut down his emotions permanently for and could be 100% himself and what he was feeling. He was always her little protector, her devoted son, who looked after her in her time of grief and hardship, and she did just as much for him. When he saw his parents together it was always Milady and Milord, Jamie was his idol but Claire was first.

This is beautiful, thank you!

Claire didn’t want to leave her son but didn’t have a choice for the sake of both of her children. She and Brianna would only be safe if she went back to Frank, and Fergus would only be safe if she sent him off to Lallybroch to be with loving family before the fighting. Fergus was safest not officially having the Fraser name nor having his mother, as the wife of a known traitor and a traitor herself, be with him to bring more soldiers and harm to everyone.

I think that Fergus’s guilt drinking and feeling useless after the Brown’s abduction of Claire comes from Fergus thinking of himself as Claire’s little protector from the time he was young and not being there to protect her again. I feel like he always partially blamed himself for her assumed death at Culloden because he was sent away to Lallybroch and a a result was not there to save her, and now that she, his beloved mother, has finally been restored to him, he was not there to protect her again from being taken, beaten, and raped. He actually shed a tear when they found her, the woman of strength, spirit, and bravery whom he admired and loved so much, in such a broken and hurt state. Obviously he also felt he should have been there to protect his wife and unborn child too, as blames his son’s dwarfism on the attack he wasn’t there to stop, but what happened to Claire was definitely part of the guilt too.