Speaks to her own privilege. Maybe her own desires.

Ignorance at its best. To make her argument more convincing and true she would just verbal vomit whatever comes in her mind than actually searching whether it's true or not.

She’s indoctrinated w oppressors agenda (brother)

I WISH I CAN TRAVEL LMAO but i cant

Yeah I’m sure it’s easy to pop out a billion kids when you’re rich as fuck

Literally, why tf would anyone think that

She has nothing else going on for her, so she is going to vicariously live through her children…. Yikes.

You can adopt. That’s motherhood.

​@@evaphillips2102 but she also said "you can't describe what love feels until you're carrying your own child"

​@evaphillips2102 you're technically correct but wow DAMB I hope you don't pull that take on a friend who is struggling to have a baby.

It just suddenly hit me... what if part of what drives Dolly to do all the things she does for children, is the same ancient "women who don't have children are lacking" crap that Abbey is now selling? 😮😮😮

@@suzboneOr maybe she’s just a good person? Idk maybe that’s a stretch

@@Kitkat_004 I don't mean to detract from Dolly's goodness at all.... she's a TREASURE and I admire her so much. What I mean is that even the greatest of us aren't immune to the shitty ideas we grew up with and are surrounded by. It's hard to even imagine a human sun like Dolly being affected that way, but the truth is we're all vulnerable. That's what therapy is all about. It just suddenly hit me what a plot twist that would be, if someone who had done so much for so many children, had a little kernel of bad feeling for not having had children herself. I'm not even saying I think she feels that way. I'm just saying that stuff happens.

She told Miley Cyrus never to change her unnatural blonde hair which is really unhealthy to put on a young woman. Sounds like the words of someone forcing an attachment onto a child not biologically hers because she didn't have any!

@@suzboneI don’t want children of my own, but I’ve dedicated my life to helping children living in low income, teaching children with learning disabilities and giving children in hard situations opportunities and resources. None of that stems from me thinking without children I have no worth. It mostly stems from knowing how much they need loving adults and wanting to be that for them

Sending you lots of love, I can't imagine how that must have felt. I hear you, see you, and appreciate your perspective

I live in a "third world" country where women are judged just a little bit for not having children. I do have to disagree with you that women know what they're getting into. In my experience, the risks are not well known and downplayed (unless it's a bunch of moms complaining to each other lol)

Thank you for sharing your experience. It is so important that voices like your are included in the conversation so that people capable of getting pregnant can consider the costs of pregnancy & birth and make an informed decision on their future.

@@chrisz7494 you’re right. Women who planning on having children are not usually aware of the risks either. It’s not a part of the fantasy world that patriarchy has created and wants to keep.

Maaaaan, pregnancy did a number on me too. I have two kids and two completely different issues with each. First pregnancy almost put me in the past tense with blood loss and the second pregnancy went without a hitch, but my body has been never gone back to being the same. My stamina is caput, every period feels like a mini labor, and my chart is all over the place. Would walk through hell and back for my kids.... But the physical, mental, and financial toll it has taken can not be ignored.

Yup

It gives fundie "you should just have sex with him whenever he wants" "you can't rape your spouse" vibes and its so gross

Handmaids tale

@@KaylaidoscopeASMR exactly. It's so creepy

Its very "Blessed be the fruit".

Fundies make their older children care for and raise the younger children. Fundies don’t even intend to _parent_ their own children, so they certainly aren’t considering whether or not they can give their child a _good_ life.

I like that twist.

​@@alexwyatt2911As the eldest of a fundie family...yep. Also like, why would someone like me WANT kids if we've already raised our siblings?

@@rowanlavellan9755 Exactly. My good friend is the eldest of a fundie family and-for a long time-she was not interested in having children because she raised all her siblings. However, she’s now happily a mother of two and it’s been so cool to watch her be such a kick ass mom.

This should not have made me laugh 😅

Me who would 100% die if I get pregnant: have a child! I guess Abby's only pro life of fetuses Fuck the life of adults I guess I'm not respectable because I want to live I wish she would say that to my face, like have it up with your God Abby, he made me like this.

Parents died? Have a child!

Abusing Chidren to be groomed and raised as conservative? Have a child

Addicted to heroin you say? Have a child!

Here in NC, everyone loves her. She's a southern darling and the only thing all polital parties agree on. She is a national treasure

She's like a mom or aunt to children who are complete strangers to her. THAT'S a legacy Abby. God she's such a condescending witch.

I am in awe every time I hear a new fact about this woman.

@@generatoralignmentdevalueshe really is amazing

Exactly There are plenty of people (men and woman, famous and not famous) who are child free by choice, and don't want their own kids, but still love kids and help kids through whatever means

years of indoctrination

BREED DAMMIT

I'm not trying to say that this is all it is, but surely some of it comes from "Well this is what I was told and now I'm suffering from not realizing there were other options, so now I need you to suffer with me!" Because misery loves company.

@@kaelin_cheriseI agree. If having children is what all people are “supposed” to do, then that validates these people’s choices, hardships, and concessions. People usually develop belief systems to justify their choices and desires.

Yes and also why do they care??? (I think they’re jealous of CFBC and want everyone to suffer with them. They’re also mad when women choose to wait, and then choose to have kids later in life… “how dare you have it all!”)

Folks who say that are so insensitive to other people. You don’t know what a person is going through and people shouldn’t be putting their privileges onto others like everyone equal.

That completely sucks that people subject you to such invasive, cruel commentary. You’ve likely learned to cope and navigate these people’s indiscretions, but you shouldn’t have to :(

I was actually engaged when I found out and my step grandmother fully told my now husband he still had time to leave me for someone who can have kids. I don’t think people like Abby ever think about how lucky she is to have two kids back to back.

I’m so sorry. My husband and I have been trying for a while without success, and I get these comments a lot and it hurts so much every time. They have no clue the struggles I’m going through and I don’t need a reminder that I need to have the thing that I want the most.

My friend had a historectomy due to cancer, and actually had someone tell her if she focused on her health she could GROW a new uterus.

The Shapiro brain is interesting.

Facts don't care about your feelings. If you do notice a contradiction in conservative arguments, then you're just denying reality. My ego dictates that my statements are factual.

She genuinely sounds envious of people who have chosen not to have children

exactly. she seems to regret it

I think she's surrounded by people that don't really value motherhood

Not following commands that a random stranger gave in a video isn't selfish.

@@irene2958 exactly!

Selfishness has to be directed towards somebody and there's nobody else on the receiving end so it's not selfishness

Having kids you don't want is extremely selfish. You're bringing a child into this world, fully realising you don't have even the desire to provide everything they will need, to sacrifice your entire lifestyle for them, all for the sake of appeasing other adults, for looking good in their eyes and not invoking their judgement. If you value your time, money, energy, don't have kids because they need a lot more than you might think. Kids are not a hobby or an accessory

And that’s not even being selfish, it’s a basic human right to make your own choices.

Wait until she finds out that two gay men having a kid means no motherhood…

Because kids “need both a masculine and feminine influence” or smth

@@jomaq9233 Never mind that there are boys raised by lesbians who grow up to be exactly the sort of good men that conservatives always pretend to want (while in reality mocking folks who have an actual heroic bent, and doubling that mockery if said person with a heroic bent happens to be female, because how dare they).

I love the description of having two moms as "the most amount of motherhood possible". It's true.

@@JeddtheJedi Similar to "If you want the thing to be as manly as possible, just have 2 men involved instead of 1!" 😂

Agreed. At least the former only affects yourself. The latter affects you AND others.

Exactly one person being "miserable " is much better than 2 or more persons being miserable together

That part. And I agree with all the comments.

This is the perfect tidbit I’ve read on this topic, putting in my memory bank, thank you ❤️

I don't believe I will ever regret not having kids, but on the off chance I do, it will be my burden to bear, not anyone else's.

Because you don’t have kids…

​@@sharamusica if you need to have unprotected sex in order to be able to see other people as important and worth protecting... you have issues

It's not like she has empathy now either

​@@sharamusica if you didn't consider life important until you had children... something is lacking in your brain And I don't mean that as an insult Your brain lacks empathy and awareness of others If the only life you see as important is the one you see as an extension of yourself Maybe go to therapy Because that's truly a dangerous mindset to have

I seriously wonder if they don't realize that abusive parents that hurt and k*ill their children exist Like having a child does not automatically make you an empathetic and good individual who values your children's life The absolute lack of awareness they have is astonishing

I think it’s significant that Abby said “motherhood” not “parenthood.” So much of what she said in that video excludes fathers and cisgender men. Dudes in the manosphere like to whine that feminism doesn’t include or benefit men (even though it does). However, the reality is that misogynists, including Abby, conduct themselves in such a way that excludes and harms men in demonstrable, tangible ways.

because the respect she's talking about is a pacifying lie she needs herself and others to believe to uphold and perpetuate the system she's living in.

@@alexwyatt2911 I wonder if she thinks all men need to be parents as well. If so we better start colonizing other planets because we’re gonna run outta room.

The only thing is that in other vocations you get a paycheck ( compensation)for what you do well a mother rarely gets a thank you unless it Mother’s Day

Ok so let’s stand up for financial support for mothers in poverty, better housing support, better education for kids, better wages for working mothers… oh wait, this isn’t about respecting motherhood, it’s about controlling women and having more wage slaves to exploit right?

Well, her brother is Ben Shapiro, so it's entirely possible that's a 'no', at least on the family front.

i loved my husband and every single pet i ever had. i love my friends and family. i would have loved my children if i'd had them, but i would not have enjoyed being a parent so i didn't become one.

Well, it is a different love though. While I disagree with 90% of what classically Abby says, I know what she meant by that. It's just that the love for a child is different and you can't imagine it beforehand.

I understand where you're coming from and I respect that. But you do simply not know how my love for my stepson feels for me. Or anybody else's love for whomever. So, while this statement might be true for you and any other number of people, or not, that does not an universal fact make. So no, I don't think you have a valid point here.

@EnaGoba that is. Above there.

Right? She absolutely would go "Now, grape is horrible and the kid shouldnt have to be pregnant right now... BUT I still believe I'd rather traumatize a kid through having to carry her grapist's baby than to abort. Maybe this will benefit the kid 🤡"

Knowing the pains that my parents went through raising me, I could never want to raise a child like myself.

Yeah that is absolutely disgusting

@NotVille_ cry harder incel

she is the sort of person who would make an SA survivor carry their abusers parasite to term.

That's just a more subtle form of "consent doesn't matter"

What!! I knew about the underage marriage loopholes (marry your abuser and the law says it is not abuse, or something that ends up looking that way) but had not clocked the divorce impact. Can they have a marriage annulled??

now they are going after no fault divorce.. they want to go back to women being trapped in marriages they hate.

NC had a bad history of people coming here to get child brides since it was 14 with parents permission. Now Ohio and Arkansas have lowered their age to just 12 years old and the working age to 14. The party that pushed these bills through, the Republicans in those states, still claim to be "pro life" and want to protect kids...while forcing them to marry and work before the are of 16. I am so sickened by my own country

@@fallenking578 at age 12.... WTH. Like the worst of contexts across the world. I was shocked by the BBC documentary about 14 plus cases.... But 12.....

India is said to be a 3rd world country and even here a kid , if forcibly married, can get the husband arrested, and the marriage annulled. I'm not saying child marriage doesn't happen at all , but it's totally illegal... The limit is 18 .

I feel the same way!

This is a quote i will always bring up whenever people tey to babble me up in their own little world. Really, i have been judged and mistreated in my early years enough to not care about others' opinions pretty soon (despite propending to be a people pleaser). These people never grew up of their "classroom age", clearly just strive for status and can't see people beyond that. Luckily, i found people who are as unapologetic in their life choices, interests and passions such as artists, and to imagine them oppressed by Abby's system makes my blood boil.

I do think it matters why someone does have kids.

The reason someone chooses to have kids is absolutely relevant. Most people are bringing children into the world to meet their own emotional needs and in some cases their own financial needs and are in no way prepared to actual be a loving and stable parent. It's not ok to do that. Having a kid means you have total control over someone else's life. Understanding why you want to and are or are not fit to do that should be a legal prerequisite.

@PLD.608 My point of it being irrelevant is that it isn't anyone else business why or why not you decide to have or not have children. As long as you aren't harming those children.

Iam proudly pro life no exceptions there is no right to kill an unborn child.

⁠@@alexanderkobylarz46and you’re wrong 😊 you really should look up the stats of mother mortality and what happens to unwanted kids when abortion isn’t available. I live in a country where we respect woman’s rights to life and society hasn’t crumbled over here. Actually do the most basic amount of research and it’s the only logical moral option.

Yeah!! Thanks for putting this incredible wisdom into the world. I really appreciated your comment. ❤

Hey stranger, I’m really glad you’re still here.

I'm so happy you're here!❤ Loving ourselves are so important and can be so damn hard sometimes. Some are fortunate to never know how much of a struggle it can be to hold on to life✨️

All the virtual hugs for you!!

Literally this. I now want to LIVE for myself, because I either wasn’t allowed to, or was in too much of a dark place to think I could. I was being abused by my own parent from 8-18, and attempted my life twice at 13 years old, once at 14, and three more times between 15 & 16. I battled addiction from 18-20. I’m lucky to have made it out alive; but now deal with a lot of mental illness. On top of that, I had undiagnosed or treated ADHD, which made it so much harder. I’m finally learning who I am in the past couple years, and I’m 24. I relate to you a lot.

It's even more ridiculous when you realize they often have kids for purely selfish reasons, like to have somebody to take care of them when they get old, or to live vicariously through the kid by forcing them to do a bunch of shit they don't want to

It sometimes seems as if the convervative idea of a grown up is NOT someone who is able to make informed decisions and take responsibiliy for them, but just someone who has now successfully learned all the rules and can follow them without needing a parent to force them.

I didn't think about that, do they think it's selfish to not give God kids then? I know a lot use this to blame childfree people because others can't have kids, but usually completely unrelated to adoption arguments. I don't get who it's unfair for ... maybe that's the point? Just more undirected shame for you to fill in the blanks with whatever works to make women feel bad enough to have them?

Especially cuz selfishness need somebody for it to be directed towards and there's nobody that this action is being directed towards so it cannot possibly be selfishness.

@@RexxyRobinpretty much Sky Daddy Panopticon. That's also the school system in the UK, but also I know a lot of fundies homeschool in the US as well.

Feel this so much. I've sadly witnessed two different occasions of a loved one losing a beloved pet. It is heartbreaking and it stays with people.

But you wouldn't go through menopause if you removed your uterus but kept your ovaries? There are many sorts of hysterectomies, and most of them leave your hormonal function intact. I think your gastro wasn't quite right about that. But I know what you're going through - I tried to get sterilised since I was 18 and only succeeded when I was 31. Have a look into the private system, email a whole bunch of gynaecological surgeons (if you're in Melbourne, Latika Cilly is amazing), and don't give up.

@@theentirepopulationofaustr6046 The thing is to get the symptom relief I would need I would need everything taken out, so he was right in being concerned. And going private unfortunately isn’t an option for me, especially now in the cost of living crisis - it’s way, way too expensive 😅 Thank you though

Gentle hugs. I was one of the lucky people who DID get significant symptom relief when I got a hysterectomy last year at 26 in New Zealand - however, my symptoms were mostly caused by adenomyosis, and I'd already had all of my endo excised. My doctor agreed to do it because 1. my combination of comorbid disabilities made the level of pain I was in life-threatening through fatigue shutting down organs, 2. carrying a pregnancy would be extremely dangerous with my mix of disabilities, many of which are genetic as well, and 3. I'm queer, so if I wanted children, my partner could carry. There was still quite a lag between getting diagnosed and getting surgery, even private (thank god for insurance), but my surgeon is one of the leading specialists in endo/adeno so is up on all the current recommended medications. He first put me on Primolut-N, and then Zoladex when that eventually failed. I still had to do a psych eval and get signed off by a psychologist, because the clinic did actually have a patient come after them when she changed her mind after her hysterectomy. Me, though? Best decision ever. I still have my ovaries since my endo is currently under control, but if it ever becomes a problem again, I can go back on medication.

I got a total hysterectomy a few months back (I'm intersex so my periods were rough). Luckily that got it approved in insurance for me so I didn't have to get a gender referral, my doc knew the loopholes and was eager to help. The lack of period pain/fatigue/emotional outbursts has been life-changing. I'm on testosterone which is keeping me from going through menopause but to my understanding you can also take estrogen for the same effect. Hope you can find relief ❤

There needs to be a lot more acceptance of divvying up parenting roles so that they are all satisfied for the kids in ways that suit the parents. Somewhere out there, there are women who ARE all set for pregnancy and ARE NOT suited to raising kids and we can certainly match them up with people with the opposite circumstances and accept good conditions for children.

@@jeffengel2607 Even if those women who have easy pregnancies shouldn’t be made to carry them to term if they don’t want to be pregnant. Women are not to be “bred” so infertile couples can have children.

Yeah I also had that realization when my son was born. "Imagine not wanting this and having to do it????" 😵‍💫

@@theoriginalpandanon Well no. Obviously. It's a matter of their choices and preferences too. I shouldn't have to say this, but yikes, I guess when the conversation includes forced birther sorts like Abby one may have to be unusually clear that way.

​@@jeffengel2607 do you mean something like the surrogate situations in the US? There's also the consideration that non-privileged AFAB people might sell their bodies and health to carry these babies

@@gjohn338 You’ve essentially reiterated what I’ve said, but yes- you’re right. Many are just sick & disregard others, or simply don’t believe in mental illness or medical advice.

True.

Proves she knows nothing about real life and has no room to give anyone advice.

Having a job, having medical issues that may be highly problematic, having no desire to fuck someone, having a lot of trouble getting pregnant in the first place, etc. etc.

You don't know ? The humanity is divided in two categories : one for the people who take care of children and one for the people who take care of mojitos 🥲

Seriously. Apparently us child free people can only have travelling and partying as hobbies 🤣. My bf and I hate parties and we don't travel at all really. We've got three motorcycles we spend our time and money on, which I'm sure Abby would also hate 😆

Yeah...having rages all the time....not! I spend my evening relaxing, learning, researching to benefit my business. I went to a concert In may, that was tough. Luckily it started at 8pm, but still. And barely travel as a self employed person. If I don't work, I don't make money.

This!

So true. As a child of people who took every opportunity to throw it in my face how much of a burden I was, and how I’m lucky to be cared for… which is debatable tbh…. it’s like folks, I didn’t ask to be here! Presumably, you wanted this! Moving from the default being kids regardless of your desire, or ability is a good thing! Kids are beautiful and deserve to be treasured by people who truly deeply want them and understand what it will take to raise them.

I'm also asexual

Why would I want to pass on to my kids a s*** ton of cancer and thyroid problems? No one needs those genetics

Word. I might not be able to start any blood lines but sure as hell can end them 😆

noooOOOOOooooo, you must BREED for the futherance of the bloodline! If you don't, the duchy will be inherited by someone with a different last name! AHHHH

@@warlordofbritannia that had me laughing out loud 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yeah, but the *woman's* legacy has never been the focus of people who care about legacies...

And you’re the kind of parent that I’m grateful to and respectful of. I think kids are great; they’re people that don’t suck yet. However, I’m currently unwilling to be a parent. I could change my mind tomorrow, but it won’t be because someone else tells me I _should_ be a parent.

Those weirdos do fetishizes parenthood and it's freaking creepy.

You have my respect.

They treat it as a fetish but they also hate mothers and children.. it is the damed no matter what you do women have always faced.. they want to force women to have kids and then punish women who have kids for being unmarried or needing support.

Sadly, it really is a fetish for some. There are who categories on porn hub for it. That's why they want to force people to do it, to get off, because women only exist for their pleasure. Real parents, like you are the diamonds in the rough we need. People who see us as people, who truely care

You absolutely do!

I’ve definitely seen that in a ton of families with a bunch of kids. I’d think you could even argue at that point that parents having more children only to put the burden on the older children IS way more selfish than not having more kids. But I’m sure Abby wants us all to pop out as many babies as possible 🙄 oh wait, not all of us. Just people like her. I probably didn’t have it as bad as you, but as the eldest of 6 I definitely have a different take on parenthood and familial roles as well. It’s irritating to be told growing up that you’re to live for your siblings and for the responsibilities set upon you by your parents and to never be encouraged w your own dreams just to watch everybody else be encouraged w theirs. And while I love my younger siblings I doubt they’ll have any idea what it was like for me and the pressure that was put on me to be the perfect little kid and do everything the family wanted. Having kids eventually was a part of that and I’m starting to open my mind more to what I personally want and what I need

Hell yeah! I’m in the same boat, it’s about time I CARE ABOUT MYSELF ❤

People who think it's okay to guilt others into having kids have never been parentified, abused, and/or neglected, or they are deluding themselves into thinking their childhoods were fine and need therapy. It was painfully obvious my mom did not want kids but did since it was expected of her. The values Abby expresses have arguably never worked because it doesn't acknowledge the core to parenting: sacrifice. If these values did acknowledge sacrifice, they would also have to acknowledge that some people make a sacrifice by not having kids. They chose to break a cycle of issues and/or to prioritize other things. Not every child-free person is just doing it purely out of what she considers vapid reasons. She should bother to learn about people who have valuable life stories like you. Sorry you dealt with that as a child.

One of my many bugbears with the Quiverful Movement, aside from the physical strain on the mother, being consecutively pregnant over many years, is, though I am Christian myself, the thought of basically dragging the older siblings into not just co-depedent relationships, but effectively, are made to become co-parents, themselves, meaning, especially for girls, a rather truncated childhood, and lost opportunities. I can even imagine the elder sons being roped in just as much as literally their brothers' (and sisters' ...) keepers ... especially when the dad goes on long buisness trips, the eldest so is declared as 'temporary head of the family' and 'man of the house ', both of which is just plain wring on oh so many levels ... There's little I can say that will help with what you went through, save I am glad that you are now free to be your own person in/on your own stead ...

I’m so happy that you and your family are enjoying their loving auntie. You’re living my dream. I wasn’t quite 10 years old when my first nephew was born, so I unfortunately didn’t have the opportunity to move in order to be part of his life. I’m now in pretty regular contact with one of my nieces, who’s 22 years old, but I can’t tell you how often and long I’ve mourned the loss of not being a significant part of the lives-or even childhoods-of any one of my nine nieces and nephews (and one grand-niece!). So, I took a moment to live vicariously through you-I hope you don’t mind. I’m genuinely so happy for you and your family. And you’re such a badass for prioritizing being an auntie :)

This. All this.

So much of families has been just focusing on the parents and the children, but much love to the aunts and uncles who show love to the Niblings

I'm the same, childfree and ace. I'd much rather take care of my neices and nephews than have my own kids. when I get settled and stabilize, I'd like to host weekends where I have one over and have fun.

​@@adrianghandtchi1562i absolutely adore the word nibling (neibling? niebling?) lol it's just so darn cute

😂

Hey im a girl in mid 20s and planning to be childless too and i kinda have a question regarding hysterectomy, is there anything happens, or changing in like physically or mentally after you get hysterectomy? cuz there's an extremely highly chance i would do hysterectomy too in the future, btw thx in advance xo

@@homeland1128 It depends on the exact procedure. Of course, you will have a surgical scar or a few small scars, depending on whether it's keyhole surgery or not. If they only take out your uterus, nothing really changes. Your cycle will remain the same because you will still be ovulating, so your hormones will not change either. The only difference would be lack of blood flow during the cycle. Should they for whatever reason need to take your ovaries, you would need to start hormone treatments to prevent an early menopause. But this they only do if there's a specific reason, such as some medical issue with the ovaries. Neither of these options affect sexual sctivity. I also hadn't noticed any changes in my mental health, except relief from not needing to deal with menstruation or risk of unwanted pregnancy.

@@daughterofyith5393 Whoahhh what an insight, thank you! All this time i didn't even know about all that uterus and ovaries things heck i thought hysterectomy would just stopped my menstruation at all and i need to take hormones forever gosh, once again Thank You for this ♥

The way she said she didn’t understand loving other people until she had children… she’s telling us she didn’t understand basic empathy until she had children… that’s scary.

Did you have trouble finding a doctor who would give you a hysterectomy without having had children? I have heard it can be difficult

The world would be a better place now if reproductive freedom and family planning had always been prioritized rather than stigmatized.

THIS. Plenty of people want _babies_ not _children_

@@alexwyatt2911Exactly!!! I have a childhood friend who sadly comes from a religious fundie family and holds these values. The other day she was lamenting how two of her nephews are “already old, even though it’s not too bad at times because they can now hold a conversation”. The kids in question are 7 and 9 ¿? You would think they were teenagers starting to date or something judging by her comments, lol. Like so many other people, she fawns over babies and small children because they consider them cute, but also because they are dependent and makes them feel needed/wanted. More complex concepts such as personhood and guiding a child into adulthood escapes them completely.

@@DoritoBot9000 Bingo! As a child matures becoming more independent with a more complex personality, parents like that are devastated (and sometimes, resentful) about “losing” the simplicity and devotion of a baby/toddler. I have so much respect for a parent who actively embraces the challenge of shaping a child into adulthood, so that their child may be a happy, healthy, and independent adult.

Just saw a mom on Tik Tok who was calling parenthood a trap and was complaining that all of her children were individual and unique humans with their own thoughts and feelings (how dare they!). Like she had truly never considered that when she had children, they would all be their own individuals and not just mini-mes or dolls. The disillusionment is real.

this is such a sweet quote

I love Stevie Nicks.

Stevie is magic

I'm with your eldest. I love kids, I love babies, they make me smile and laugh and I'm excited to be a bonus pibling/zizi to my brother's stepdaughter, but I have no desire to raise my own kids. Period.

I wish you the very best for your pregnancy! Thank you for providing us with that insight

Have both of your pregnancies been this awful, or was one worse than another? Or, perish the thought, were they both awful in different ways!? Can I tell you a secret? Hearing stories like this makes me happy I'm a man who can't get pregnant because it sounds FUCKING HORRIFIC. Just trying to imagine what it feels like to have a whole ass human moving around inside me makes me gag. I mean, us AMAB people die quicker, but honestly, that's a trade-off I'm okay with in my life. 😂

I relate a lot to this. Wishing you a healthy birth!

Same! I haven’t even had that difficult of a pregnancy compared to many women I’ve met and I’m still struggling a lot we had a family friend that died a week after giving birth from pregnancy complications I will fight for the rest of my life for a persons right to choose because no one should be forced to go through anything that could harm their body or kill them I haven’t even given birth yet and I’m already so drained and I’ve had so much joint and pelvic pain (I have hyper mobility and pregnancy also loosens your joints so my pains been unbearable) my husband has been having to fight to take days off of work just to stay home and help me because I can’t get out of bed by myself when he is forced to go into work I have to wear diapers and have nothing to eat and hardly anything to drink for 9 hours

THANK YOU.

She does sound bitter a times. Wouldn’t be surprising if deep down she resents having to start a family so soon in life (if at all), she lives in a very sexist environment after all and was likely told all her life that birthing children was her main goal in life at the expense of any other personal goals she might have had.

Exactly, there's still this idea that childfree equals partying it up

I needed 14 cavities filled after my first. And now after my second I need 20 more filled. My bones are brittle and so much more. Pregnancy truly killed my body.

​@@caitlinmarie49damn u shouldve looked for an alternative way to have a child.

I got Celiac after my first! No more bread is a hell of a punishment for bringing life into the world 😢😅

@@caitlinmarie49I’ve known several women who have suffered poor dental outcomes after their pregnancy. The physical damage that pregnancy and birth causes is absolutely wild.

@@alexwyatt2911 yup it’s crazy. The fetus sucks the calcium from teeth and bones. Even when taking prenatals.

Frankly, I'd argue that people who base their entire fucking personality on having children like that have meaningless lives if that's all they care about, making them seem no better than mere beasts roaming out there.

​@@crowdemon_archivesI agree and tend to believe that it's those who really don't have much to contribute to the world other than a child who may or may not even turn out to be a decent person that try to make it seem like being a mother is "the way"

​@@RepentImmediatelyI agree. The women in my life with kids but have healthy other hobbies don't look at it so ignorantly.

First of all, that sounds tough, I hope your condition doesn't give you too much trouble and you always find good doctors who will take you seriously and that your desire for a family is fulfilled the way you want it to be. Second of all, wow /s, is almost like this ideology isn't about children, but about controlling women through reproduction!

Hear hear! No uterus here, just plain ol' testes, so biological parenthood wouldn't put me in the hard role. It's not happening for me, and I am maybe a little wistful about that. But I do have a stepson and being his father is the most rewarding role in my life. I'm not sure if he'd've been better off with my genes but what his paternal genes are really is just a medical detail, with damn-all to do with our relationship.

@@enravotaboyadjiev7466 thank you so much 🫶 and yes you’re right

@@enravotaboyadjiev7466Ding, ding, ding! Pro-lifers are solely acting out of a-conscious or subconscious-misogynistic desire to control women’s lives as well as punish women for having consensual sex. Pro-lifers spin a lot of narratives about their beliefs, because those fluffy, false narratives insulate and (from their perspective) protect their pro-life stance. Pro-lifers have never done the emotional labor of turning inward to critically analyze and earnestly challenge how and why they came to form their current beliefs. Again, this is an examination of _why_ (not what) they believe this; Pro-lifers have never tried to root out their own biases/prejudices and seek to understand how their own biases/prejudices shape their current beliefs. That’s why no matter how much data, reason, and practicalities with which they’re presented, pro-lifers won’t accept that reproductive freedom is an essential human right.

same here, i want to be a foster parent and hopefully adopt, pregnancy and childbirth sound awful, and i don't want to risk my child getting depression or anxiety like i do, and even if i were completely healthy and not scared of pregnancy, why wouldn't you want to help kids who are already out there? will never understand why it's treated as the "lesser option" by those kinds of people, something that's only ever an absolute last resort when you can't have your own biological kids.

But also they get BIG MAD at the trans men who do desire that! Like they say they want anyone who can to do so, but we all know only people who look like them, and espouse their values deep down. I also think it ties into their prolife beliefs that for those who do get pregnant, it justifies their stance on well this is happening to you, it’s not a choice, it’s destined to happen, no backing out now.

Well said!

Actually, a population collapse is coming, and it is going to be a bit of a challenge. The tides have turned in countries like Türkiye and Iran in my lifetime from 4 kids per woman to below replacement (1.9). India is a heavyweight now reaching this point. It's not just China anymore. People should not feel pressured to have kids, but they certainly should not restrain themselves for the good of the planet.

I’m 16 and my parents said that to me, and said “would yoy rather have a family by your side or regret not having a family and die alone” like why?! And ny dad would say “Once you guys have kids, we can take care of them, we can do this and that and have a loving family!” Ok, that’s cool, but that’s what you want not what I want They said someday I’ll change my mind when I don’t think I ever will

I knew when I was 13 that I didn't want kids. I turned 38 this week and I still don't want them.

I changed my mind, but from wanting children to not wanting children. I'm 100% aro-ace, I don't want a relationship or sex because (for me personally) the idea stresses me. I don't want to be pregnant because it's not for me. I'm not the right person to be a parent, even if I were to adopt (maybe when I'm a bit older, but definitely not now). I _am_ good with children and I don't wanna brag too much but I think that I'd make a great aunt. I just can't take care of another human being 24/7, it wouldn't be healthy for me or the child. People don't seem to realize that we're not talking about toys, we're talking about actual human beings that didn't have a say in being born. It's your choice to have a child (usually anyways, not always of course), it's your responsibility to teach a human being how to human and saying that people are selfish for not wanting to have children is surreal. I'm not selfish for realizing that bringing a child into this world would only end up harming me, the child and our near surroundings. I'm not selfish for realizing that babies are people and not a doll I get to dress up and put away whenever I want. Just wanting a child (I personally already hate words like 'want', 'have' and 'get', it feels very possessive) for the sake of having a child is selfish. Just like using a human being to fix a relationship or to get out of one is.

Right? People might have health issues

And that’s a more normal way to view having a family! They’re extra people to love and a big responsibility. Which is different than making them your sole purpose for existing. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a little person!

I wonder if she envisions her own baby daughter having to give up her own life and body for a lifestyle and imaginary non-existent offspring as well. What is the point of life if we aren’t allowed to live for ourselves to some degree?

It’s probably best that you don’t. You’re better off without that much ego.

I think they are a family of sociopaths

Privilege lets someone be safely ignorant. And when you're dogmatic too, you can just stay that way without your own curiosity or empathy disrupting the happy ignorance.

I relate so much to your comment! I'm 35 and also have so many health issues and disabilities physically as well as mentally. Mind boggling is right! And also totally agree Abby is utterly delulu! I got so riled up by the things she said, I cannot in any way understand how anyone can think like that. How egocentric do u have to be to dare to say the absolute BS coming out of her mouth! It's... Just disgusting honestly isn't it!

@@jeffengel2607Beautifully and succinctly phrased!

34 and I consider myself mentally unfit to be a Dad. I also think we should have tests to check if people are competent enough to be parents, if only to prevent any potential, unessescary damage.

@@optiquemusic6204 Ooof. That competency “test” for parenthood is begging for misuse and a decided disadvantage for marginalized groups. I know we want competent, loving parents, but prohibiting people from becoming parents is not okay.

Other things that are probably choices: Slavery getting gRaped and/or moidured Being gay Being trans Having whatever else sexual inclination Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

Not just that, but also there are so many people who "live their lives for more than just themselves" without ever having kids! I'm childfree and I work in mental health care, I've had multiple coworkers (counselors, techs, nurses, psychiatrists, etc) who dedicated their life to their work, and most of the therapists I've seen myself don't have kids. Plenty of people who spend most of their time volunteering, doing philanthropic work like assisting homeless people or disabled people, they're childfree. I cannot comprehend how someone can look at a childfree person who dedicates their life to helping people and say "they're just living their whole life for themselves, how selfish." If anything, having kids gets in the way of being able to help people who really need it. Which is sometimes yourself and that's okay.

I personally fail to see how having a child is living for other people…. It would seem to me that paying my taxes and having a social safety net to ensure a minimum quality of live for society qualifies much more than choosing to make a baby.

I can confirm that living for everyone else is totally unhealthy and it really fucks you up later in life. I'm talking from experience here; just don't do it. Put your health and safety first, and set clearly defined and hard boundaries with everyone. You'll be WAY better off. Just ignore the guilt trips everyone will try to pull on you.

I think some people have this idea that living for yourself looks like taking a bunch of meth and punching all your neighbors for fun, and the only way to stop yourself is through a life of constant service. I worry about these people. Most people I know who live for themselves still benefit the people around them. They make friends while out doing things just for fun, and then do favors for those friends. They volunteer or do important jobs, because it makes them feel good about themselves, or even just because helping others for a living is where the beer & gaming money comes from. And they are simply more uplifting to spend time around than some self-hating trad. And tbh you know what stops you from having the time or money to be helpful to anyone? Kids. As mentioned in the video.

Doesn’t Shapiro want to marry a 16 year old? Isn’t he 30 years old?

@@janel.8921 That's nick fuentes, ben shapiro is the "I've never made my wife wet" guy

​@@janel.8921no I don't think that is Ben. Ben has some really shity takes but I'm fairly certain that's not one of them. I'm pretty sure you are thinking about Matt Walsh because he has definitely stated that

@@UlexiteTVStoneLexite Nick Fuentes has been more explicit about it recently. He's one setting less coy about his right wing vices than Walsh is.

oh yeah, ben astroturfed the FUCK out of her career

I know what you mean. Pregnancy can be dangerous when you take certain meds. I have bipolar disorder and i'm schizoaffective. If i got pregnant i'd have to come of my medication, which would be very risky. I hate when people ignore how much illness/ medication affects pregnancy. Carrying a child and giving birth is not for everyone.

Great comment! I was thinking something similar myself. Babies are adults in the making. Alll the horrid bs Abby believes would ruin her daughter’s life.

A little bit of an asshole thing to say to people who suffered injuries or illnesses resulting in non-functional testes now or just somehow lose parts of their genitalia, isn't it?

@@crowdemon_archives what? In that hyper specific scenario I would recommend adoption. Same goes for any same sex couples, adopting, artificial insemination, and birth mothers can easily fix this problem….. Are your testies okay bro? You took this oddly personally….

It's definitely an argument in the UK and not even far right, it's just phrased very very differently. Mumsnet is probably a hive for this kind of thing. Also we tend to see "you shouldn't have kids if you can't afford them" arguments more but the pressure and knowledge of our pensions being usless and older people being forced to go back from retirement because there aren't enough young people to support them has been widely talked about for decades now. It's probably just passed you by especially if they talk about it in facts and figures on the news but it's seeping in more and more to everyday discorse. I definitely hear people being called selfish or that it's a "shame" that they don't have kids - but it gets aggressive when they mention it's selfish because some women or parents can't have kids. I also personally feel the internalised pressure of this, and it's at least something my grandmother has brought up to me before, so it's already a passed down idea generally. My gran only brought it up because of lies that my mum was saying about me and she was saying that I was immature and at her age she was married with kids etc Here you also get a lot of shit put onto couples who like "childish" things like gaming and collecting memorabilia which is common but they make a pass "power couples" and women high up in their careers - until it comes to low fertility again and theyre "selfish" for not having frozen eggs or thought about their future enough etc

Also, it's not the vocal ones you need to be worried about, it's the policy that slips under the radar. Probably you can ignore this one person, but you can look up websites thst show a lot of MPs regularly vote against sex education and abortion rights. It just makes bad arguements seem less bad in comparison if you have someone like this.

I thought it was only the British National Party and UKIP that were like this. I didn’t know the Tories had gone this far-right. I’m not from the UK btw.

@@marianatheschizoid5912 well it seems like many of them were like this but they have been more open about it lately and giving the top jobs to the more right-leaning members. If you look at their current stance on immigration, it's up there as one of the most extreme immigration policies in the world, I'm not even kidding it is only a short way from 'shoot asylum seekers on site' at this point.

She means White women have to have kids. She def would be against any other women having them.

She doesn't give a s*** about men men are just there to make money. Men are just there to labor away and pay for everybody in the household.

This! Why does no one sh*t on men who don’t want children, or say that fathers are superior to non-fathers? I’m assuming Abby isn’t wild about forms of motherhood that don’t involve fathers, such as lesbian couples or single mothers who use donors.

@@francescad6626 man gets shit for not wanting kids too but it doesn't happen nearly as much. My husband would get s*** in the workplace with everyone telling him he just has to have kids.

Because being a father only means that you had sex and it worked. Nothing more is required of you, so there really isn't much to congratulate you about other than you have functional sperm.

Yes! I remember taking the time once to actually learn about that case and it just infuriated me how much could've been prevented if her parents hadn't basically forced her to have the kid. Or had at least let her place the child for adoption. Children should never be a punishment for their own sakes, but also because a resentful parent is more likely to be an abusive one.

Yep....I'm pretty sure her parents told her not too. So then her parents always ended up watching Caylee and I think they got upset with Casey not being a present mother, so Casey tried to be a mom but keep up her lifestyle which led to her killing her. It didn't need to happen.