Great strategy! Especially if the humans act friendly, everyone will want to be friends with the most dangerous species in the galaxy.

We must weaponize the homie status at once

"Here's the engineering room, this is Xrrvcxr, call him Zirv. No, we didn't ask him to wear that collar. Now, he likes to be helpful, he knows everything our computers do and then some, and their race lives for like half a century. No, we don't make him submissive like that. We've finally been able to convince him to sit at the table and eat with us, just don't ask him questions while eating he might choke trying to answer you. No, he's just normally that eager. Hey man, he wants to be the ship's 'dog' and we just go along with it. Fine, ask him your damn self, just get ready in case he jumps on you."

shit wait til we tell them about house cats.

Yup, like seriously, to survive adapt to us should be the lesson exactly.

Yes, desperately!

Came to here to say exactly this.

Agreed

Most certainly.

Next chapter: "The extinction of the Cavahr people"

Literally Coffee being a neurotoxin *sip*

@@trashpanda7195 Don't forget about capsaicin!

@@Doggo226 Pepper is needed for the eggs

Outside of big cats, most cats actually aren't Apex predators, being prey to animals like hawks and bigger dogs.

@@gameygeemer4142 Your social agenda must be full of gatherings and events.

@@gameygeemer4142 You've never seen a house cat hunt before have you?

@@Takisan111 Or the number of regions that their introduction, well...completely destroyed the ecology of. Oops.

@@Takisan111 An apex predator is defined as a predator at the top of a food chain that is not preyed upon by any other animal Big Cats (and particularly large Felinae) are Apex predators, but house cats, while prodigious predators, are still prey for other animals. Like Coyotes, medium sized birds of prey, big snakes, and just anything that can take 10 pounds of aggression and eats meat.

Especially if trying to make Allie’s with the neighboring territory. Definitely don’t want their leader to die just cause they ate something that you knew was deadly

I smell some underhanded ploy against this alliance

Worse we have some pretty nasty plants that can easily be poison or medicine. My favorite example is a pretty little ground cover flower; Bloodroot is a key ingredient for a lot of creamed and skin cleansers when processed properly (and usually the active compounds are diluted as hell), but if you even TOUCH the sap from the roots, the stem, even the petals: they cause rapid necrosis. As in if your wandering through the Canadian wilderness and step on one your fingers will rot after you touch the residue to take your shoe off- and by the time you get to the hospital your going to have gaping holes in your hand.

@@FirstIsa damn, which part of Canada is that? I've never heard of it over here

Converting units for the ease of use by other races; by the time they were at thus meeting they were either already space fairing or "uplifted" and therefore using thier benefactor's preferred units.

Really big catapults and redbull.

Um... What's your point? 🤪

As it could be impliedin the end, this is not the milky way. Thus the more experience about dealing with foreign units. Or just the us vs the world vs china

Hey, Marines are one of the most creative demographics of people on the planet. "If Musk wants to be the first to Mars, he just needs to tell the Marine Corps that there's bad guys to kill up there. They'll be there by next week. Heck, they'll walk there if they have to." -Paraphrased and cleaned up from the original quote made by The Fat Electrician

This categorization is for the average of our home planet. Let me tell you about a place named Australia...

​@@sakisenplease not place where Satan keep his pet

And then there are the distortions of the laws of physics popping up every once in a while that no one knows about.

@@joshuazurkon823 the WHATS?

@@kurookumura774 Yes there's a place called "Ohio" where it will sometimes snow on a clear 64 degree sunny day, and rain into the negatives.

Not even more violent, just far more skilled at using their big stick, and far more interested in their moonlit evening walks remaining quiet.

They're going to touch the boats, then see the sun rise repeatedly.

Poor bastards

"Welcome to Earth . . . if you can survive it, then you deserve to defeat us. Here's the list of super predators and super herbivores that will most likely kill you as look at you. And on list 2 you'll find the thousands of poisonous and venomous mussels, fish, insect, arachnid, bird, and reptile species."

@@ScornedOne1080 deserve a chance to try, at least. We've been trying it ourselves for some millenia

​@ScornedOne1080 You forgot to list the Continents by deadliness!

@@Zael_Moonblade shhhh, dont ruin the surprise. Lol 🤣😂

I concur

Definitely! A part of me wants see one of the races to f around and find out 😂

Is there even a second part to this?

@@proudamerican183 there is but its a Reddit post

He pays us rent now!

Plus, look at this nifty golden fiddle he gave us.

Cats and dogs can seat from their paws but only a little. To my knowledge all other apes and monkeys can sweat, horses and hippos as well.

@@alexiusangelfire they also sweat from their breathing as well.

@@alexiusangelfireso what your saying is that we evolved to be better sweaters? (And yes I realized after typing it what it looks like I said 😂)

@@Allantitan Yes, millions of years of knitting.

I know right, when he said monkeys I started twitching 😊

Remember, it's fiction.

Also, stop and think. What is the definition of a galactic year? The time it takes the galaxy to make one full rotation. I know that number is known, but would have to look up what it is. I suspect it makes the numbers a little more real.

Also, we started developing our lithic technology since the times of Homo Habilis. It really annoyed me when he got the part of "our ancestors did nothing but chase their prey for 2 million years and only started doing shit 300.000 years ago".

@merlinathrawes746 it takes about 250 million years for our galaxy to make one rotation.

God doesn't like anime. He's into Road Runner cartoons.

Then? Extra-galactic travel?

Good catch. Which meant they have already screwed up the milky way, probably via mass "Exterminatus". This story definitely needs more parts.

​@@ArchonSG1Oh I hope not. Poor little Aliens being Exterminated by Huge Bulging Mountains of Man glad in near indestructible Armour with Boltguns. All while singing "Purging with my kin"

Oh crap! Nice catch there didn't even occur to me.

Both, the Cavahar and the Human in the story use the term "this galaxy" ("...we have ruled this galaxy.."; "..hope we don't screw this galaxy too much..) Either both have holdings in two or more galaxies, or it's just a figure of speech by the author

He forgot ICE AGES... half of the planet iced over.

​@@panan7777yes we are technically still in an ice age( defined as ice on the poles) . So this "global warming " is just the normal cycle. Now the exact middle of an ice age or noniceage really suck❤

Just wait till the aliens learn that one of the predators we survived was hyenas...

with a pestky micro nova on top of that :/

​@bencoad8492 Don't forget the Carrington Events that can knock civiliation into the stone age. Happens with a 28% Chance every 150 years and has a 0.4% every year.

And because humanity decided that wasn't exciting enough, they added other delightful features; such as poisonous smog, acid rain, and global warming.

@@SH-qs7ee And don't forget Nuclear war, AI catastrophe, Grey goo, LHC singularity, man made global pandemic... etc..

Piss off an Elephant, Rhino or Hippo and suddenly your life will become very "interesting".

The humble wombat: is basically a large rock made of muscle and fat, and can run faster than our world record sprinter, and for twice the distance. Is known to chase those it perceives as threats to its young. Also known to crush your skull against the wall of its burrows if you try to crawl in...

Or to ride for shits and giggles.

Yeah, get through that topic and the Cavahr might think twice about a war.

Human Ambassador: So, to speak of humans we must go waaaaay back. Far back enough that we pass through several mass extinctions and- Xeno ambassador: *Punching the question buton like it owes him money* I-Iam very sorry, but _several _*_mass_*_ extinctions?_ Human: why yes! *murderous grin* we had one that was so bad that *WE* humasn call it *GREAT DYING!* 97% of all life got wiped on that one!

​@@KlavierMenn Human: But that's getting ahead of ourselves. We have classified as many as 20 distinct extinction events, however most are fairly uninteresting. As such I shall simply list the "Big Five", a title which I imagine is fairly self explanatory, though if needed I can explain it? *Crickets save for two representatives trying to resuscitate a third who suffered a heart failure* Human: Excellent. So first we have the fairly ambiguous O-S Extinction, which occurred roughly 445 million years ago. We're still doing researching whether this was a result of global warming or cooling, however we are confident that the root cause was large amounts of volcanic activity and a lack of atmospheric oxygen. Over 87% of species went extinct, with most others suffering heavy losses. *Hyperventilating noises from one of the representatives* The second was technically several more minor extinction events back to back, called the Late Devonian extinctions, dating to between 372 and 359 million Earth years ago, the largest two of which killed at least 70% of all species. Causes unknown but almost exclusively targeted marine life. Number three is the P-T extinction event, or the Great Dying, dated to ~252 million years ago. I've already explained the mortality rate on this one, so we'll skip right to the cause. Again, this one's a bit contested, but it's believed to be the result of volcanic activity flooding the atmosphere with sulphur dioxide and carbon dioxide, resulting in the air becoming suffocating, the seas acidifying, and the temperature rapidly cooling then heating up, with a temporary destruction of our upper atmosphere leading to the world being bathed in elevated levels of ionizing radiation. *Vomiting from representatives* The next is the Tr-J extinction from 201 million years ago. The casualties on this one were fairly low at 70-75% of species going extinct. This was another one that was most likely caused by volcanic activity releasing larger amounts of toxic gases and rendering the planet barely habitable. And finally the K-Pg extinction of 66 million years ago. This is the one which we've studied the most. Now, don't worry if you're starting to get bored, while there is some indication of extreme volcanism during this period, it wouldn't have been sufficient to classify as one of the Big Five on its own if it was just that. No, what earnt it its place and 75% species mortality rate, was the impacting of a 10-15km wide asteroid with the planet surface, which vaporised a 180km diameter region of surface rock leaving a ring of rock dragged out of our planet's mantle by the force of impact, rapidly creating an impact winter, a period in which the sun is partially or fully obstructed by clouds of debris for several years, which resulted in most plants dying off, with oceans acidifying as the debris filled them. This is also the one which replaced the all the previous dominant clade with the one which we descended from...

@@KlavierMenn -Terran Military Attache also present, interjects: I would recommend that the Honourable [Xeno] Ambassador looks into the nomenclature conventions of our fleet flagships. I'm particularly partial to the T.E.F. Chicxulub. (Terran Expeditionary Forces)

Or, if they land in Appalachia, Dueling Banjos...

The numbers swirl man they swirl!

I Like Your Funny Words, Magic Man

Yeah. He just didn't get that far yet...

We're the only true pursuit predators, running prey to exhaustion and subsequently death, though wolves are capable of doing a similarly effective job if seriously pushed to it (wolves will die of exhaustion before a human will, but usually out last most of their prey. Humans only die of starvation or hunger, not simply running for too long [because sweat])

Given the writer listed human ancestry as monkeys and not arboreal apes, i believe it's a omission by ignorance of the writer. He seems to not be as versed in the subject he chose to involve with this peace than the average science fiction writer.

He was corrected on these factors on reddit.

If you were reading along with the text, he said "almost" the only species, iirc. I think that word got missed in the narration.

And they get to see one of the species we de-extinctictified.

Simple, common turn of phrase. No reason to complicate things with multiple universes and seperate galaxies.

And far slower than any of them.

for the biggest killer of humans; other humans. Practice makes perfect...

@@panan7777 The number of humans killed by other humans would be a fraction of the number of humans killed by disease;

And that our adorable housecats are more psychotic than we are.

I know, right?

Take it with a grain of salt. Pluto still orbits the sun.

no point telling xenos the truth is there

Theres a line between fanfiction and science fiction. He isnt parodying a prexisting hes making his own, but the crude and lack of science and technical understanding and terms leaves much to be desired. Id suspect the writer is relatively young, early twenties given that schooling now lacks what it did 10-15 years ago.

welcome to amateur pulp writing. its fun, but you have to squint a little.

FOR THE EMPEROR

All we're saying is GIVE WAR A CHANCE!

🖖

Is this the reason we have so many ?? What if the most races never had wars between themselves??? I think it was mentioned in another story.

Eh. I asked a biologist what the difference was once, and they said that apes are just monkeys without tails.