If you're at a breaking point in your relationship and need to turn things around, watch this Relationship Breakthrough Training I created: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/n7GZnLykvsqvl2g.html

My boyfriend asked for space and 12 days later came back to me. We’re now back together and things are better. Just wanted to share my story for the other ladies ❤ this video got me through it. The space was hard but he needed that. I worked on myself during that space and learned to love myself.

This feeling sucks! We are not even in a labeled relationship but I get all the heartaches.

This advice is pure gold. Thank you! “See space as an ally.” Allows trust and respect to grow. You come back together with new perspective.

I absolutely absolutely love your statement “Space is a Friend.” I have an anxious attachment style and that statement extinguishes the fear and creates peace!

Day 0 - I'm so hurt. I hope I survive this

I need this so much. My husband and I go through this once every few years. We’ve been married 11 years and I cannot tell you how this is impacting for me. I’m a HUGE communicator and I struggle with abandonment, due to past traumas and so my husband asking for space/time is really conflicting. But I need to allow him his space, he deserves to feel safe too. Biggest mistake is I have disrespected his space/time and I’ve yelled and demanded him to communicate with me because his silence hurt me but this video helps me so much.

He may not ask in words for space, but just abandon until feel better. A woman may not forgive someone who abandons.

I’ve never come across a person who can give such unbiased, mature and progressive relationship advice like you. I am so happy I came across your video, thank you for this. My boyfriend and I of 2 years have just hit our relationship’s rock bottom. We’ve both taken accountability for our role, but understandably, it’s too much for him right now. He distanced himself from me and then asked for space, and I did react the way you advised not to. Then after a day I started to come to my senses, I decided to put my own needs to the side temporarily and focus on myself during this time. if I respect my partner I will give him the healthy space he needs and when he is ready to talk I know he will respect me enough to come to me. Your words have given me comfort through this difficult time. Appreciate it!

After 12 years out of the blue he needs space? No conversation he refused to talk except to say he doesnt know what he wants if he even wants a relationship.. after 3 months of this i gave him his space and left him.. i am also talkingbabout a very narricistic personality .. now he wants me back .. um no thank you.. and he claims its my fault his mantra being ‘ you backed me into a corner’ that was me just trying to have a conversation.. if he didnt know he wanted me after investing 12 years well im not giving him another day to decide

My boyfriend that have been with for five years is asking for space and at first it hurt. Watching this made me see hope. Thank you so much.

Thanks for this. I definitely have an axious attachment style and my initial reaction was "Ok I'm going to give you space" but in my mind I was like "It's over, we're done." Space is my friend and I really need to drill that in my head.

This man is one of the best most intelligent dating coaches I've seen. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I hope the space will bring him back on his own.

This is exactly what I needed in this moment . He asked for space and I said yes to that but in the inside I felt awful and not knowing what to do next because to me that could be the end and honestly I felt That i waisted almost two years of my life. Now that I saw this video I understand more what is happening and I will wait and not hesitate to run away. Thank you so much !!

space is your friend and healing medicine!!

Going through this now after a year and a half. It hurts bad. This reassures me he needs time to reenter and may be thinking about a deeper commitment to me. Hes transitioned to a higher job level and personal business so his, " I'm busy" is legit hes trying to find a balance in all of this. He has to feel self empowerment, be masculine. I am taking away from that by always being there, wanting to assist. The more he does it and figures it out. The happier he is.

Your approach to the one who is being spaced out in a relationship , (me) is Genuine. I am experiencing it after being in a five month relationship. Most videos I have watch suggest that one gives up power , to end it immediately. Do not let the other control you. “ They are not interested.” It is enlightening listening to your video. I do believe the person who is asking for space will, feel secure and respectful of my understanding. It makes sense snd can build a stronger foundation . Unfortunately the I need space was not anticipated nor boundaries set. It had been twelve days without contact. I am going through many emotions from rejection, loss, uncertainty, discarding, Love, anger, tears, compassion, empathy, depression, to acceptance of his request. 🙏❤️

Thank you for making this video. It's 3 years old but right on time for me in this moment.

This hurts after 30 years in a relationship to hear this. I'm trying to be positive through it. Thanks for the video.!❤

I needed to hear this I have noticed after my person asked for space I am the anxious person thinking the worst I needed the encouraging words to hang in there and make space your friend and not your enemy. Thank you!

Buyers regret...want to get rid of you after 3-4 months and sometimes 6 months. Guys who run/abandon...let them go and find someone else.

I have to step back and give my partner space. We been through alot of deal breakers and he told me he needs space to figure out if this is what he wants... and I feel he will find better happiness without me. I gave up my apartment a few years ago to live with him, I got into a car accident this year and totaled my car, lost my job, halted my personal business and now going to have to stay on my dad's couch. I just turned 25 a couple of weeks ago and I'm feeling anger, sadness, depression, and it's so hard for me to take the first step to leave knowing he might not want me back. He said it will be good for us to flourish and he needs to figure life out. There is also an age gap where he will be 36 this year. Idk how to move during this time without coming off needing reassuring. 😩 we been together 4 years. Thank u to anyone who reads this.

Thank you so much for your advice! After 6 months of exclusive dating he asked for space and I'm really willing to give it to him but my only request was to put a clear 'deadline' on it. Even if, after that deadline, he comes to me and says "I need another week" I prefer having it somewhat figured out instead of stressing every day and checking if he texts me or not while on his break. My attachment style is anxious, so this is really tough for me but your words gave me some great comfort!

Your words like a conditioner, bathed me in softness and conditioned me toward success. The success in knowing that men often need space to contemplate and regather. It is up to us to show our respect for their decisions, while equally showing how we feel. Thanks, everything is going to turn out great ❤️

So my BF of 3 months told me he needed some space to “ think”. I automatically got so afraid and went to his house upset hoping I could talk him out of it . I think it made things worse. But, since then I have apologized and am giving him space. Thank for clarifying what space really does in this situation. Praying he returns to me with good news.

Good stuff. Happened today- he struggles w addiction depression and aging parents. He apologized for not being present. I told him I’d respect his need for time/ space that he deserves to take care of himself . I pray he comes back I love him so much

Amazing video! “Space is your friend” will be my favorite quote going forward. I had never really thought about it like this

This is powerful. Would adore elaborated videos on this. Because this is a huge obstacle that keeps relationships from actually having a chance to grow. Not enough out there that actually has the kind of insight you do. I myself have this challenge with a healthy relationship with space. I'm completely fine knowing the space means personal space and we'll come back, but typically the guy is ambiguous and doesnt provide that reassurance. And I like knowing where I stand, what theterms and conditions are, in the sense of is this a break-break? Are you still loyal and faithfully monogamous to me? Is this a couple days or a couple weeks, etc. So having to work with almost nothing it is indeed unbearable. But I can absolutely see the learning opportunity to stay in the discomfort and birth your way through no matter his actions for better or worse. I've been reframing and reassociating words to "space" and "unknown" I.e. old way of space: separation, heart break, loss, abandon,etc. New way: grounding, closeness of heart, trust, stillness that brings clarity rather than chaos. Old way "unknown": death, being mugged, raped, taken advantage of, preyed upon, falling off a cliff, anxiety, unstable, etc. New way: a field of possibility, unmanifested success and fortune, blissful imagination, room to explore and choose your energy to have come into form, open minded learning, good things awaiting to be noticed and accepted. It's like no wonder I have adverse reactions. My "old" associations are scary! Whether that be from just primitive (reptilian brain) inheritance and or societal programming from movies, stories, music, and otherwise. Thank you, thank you!!

Thank you for this. My partner recently requested friendship and took physical intimacy off the table. I went to a place of now what? while he resumed daily communication (nothing changed). I asked for space yesterday to catch up to the new story. I found a lot of value in your video from both perspectives, and am enjoying the time out to consider how I want to engage with him going forward. 🕊️

I totally agree with you Clayton, I think women struggle with whole Space thing with men but it really teaches us how to have individual lives that can make us more attracted to one another in the end and look forward to seeing each other after this needed space and respecting it at the same time

I agree, probably some of the best information. I surprisingly knew and acted upon. Some of the key points in the video, I use with others going through similar situations. I would like to mention, trusting in space within an LDR does not always apply. Or, when a timeframe cannot be worked out. Sometimes it takes asking the right questions. Sometimes its letting go and moving on is the only option available.

Thank you for this.I have an anxious attachment also to my boyfriend. He ask me for space. Before I don't like the space he wanted but right now I realized we need that. Hoping we gonna get through of this.

My partner's behaviour felt a little distant so i asked him last night if everything was okay, and he said he wasn't feeling himself I figured he might need some space so i told him I'd give him the space he needs to figure things out for himself because i wasn't going to force conversations with someone who's clearly not in the conversation It really hurts me and I'm really scared and I feel so alone. This video in so many ways is giving me the strength to face another day (and everyone in the comments talking about their experience is giving me strength) We dont have therapists where I'm from so its videos like this and journaling that give us an insight on a lot of things we don't know Thank You🙏🏽

It's happening to me now, after 8 months as boyfriend and girlfriend he is asking for space, I am confused, I am also aware I have anxious attachment, so this video was sooo helpful, I even considered ending the relationship as you said, so glad I watched this.

We’ve been going back and forth for 4 years. We dated other people during this time but just a few days ago, he told me he wants to focus on finishing school and finding a stable job so he provide stability and commitment. “My future is yours as well so I need to stop being so selfish” he said…on top of numerous other things like asking me to move across the country,etc. I’m at a crossroads now because he’s had some really stressful stuff come up these last few months and although he’s telling me all this stuff, he becomes distant and says “I don’t want to push you away but I need time to really think about what I want “. I ended up sending 2 emotional texts and after listening to your video I wish I would have responded more logically. He’s just sending mixed messages and I know anything that brings confusion isn’t for me but I care for him so much, I’ve done the same to him before where I stopped talking to him simply bc I had gone through something and never communicated that at the time. I don’t want to keep pressing him and we haven’t been in a serious relationship in a few years but the way we talk to one another it feels as if we are. Just confused honestly, do I give him that time to figure out what he really wants or do I need to let him know he can take all the time he needs but I’m not waiting. He once asked me to wait for him and I told him I wouldn’t, I’m still holding on that request because I want to be with him and I see a future together.

Hello all! This is so important to me. I learned from previous relationship that I need to communicate that I need space. I had lost myself just trying to keep him happy. I could have used that space to reclaim myself or at least do self care so that I didn't feel like it had to end (the relationship). Communication is my new goal here.

I appreciate this " space is your friend"

Thank you this was my first experience in a relationship with my partner asking for space. This information has given me the clarity I need. I was feeling so lost, and angry and didn't know what to do!

Omg. I’m glad I got to see this video. Some things you said are true. I got angry and scared when he said he wanted space. I’m more relaxed now cuz I want to respect his decision

My own husband of 22 years had come to me with a very weird and unusual proposal on our 22nd wedding anniversary. He said, that he needed to have his space and freedom while remaining being married to each other but leaving separately. In other words he wanted the benefits of marriage but no commitment on his part. By nature, he is a very inflexible and controlling man. He is very stringent and does not believe in fairness or compromising. His favourite phrase is "take it or leave it" or "my way or the hwy". Of course I had found his proposal very insulting to say the least. My response to him was a big NO as we could not remain married to each other while living apart.

I asked her how much space does she needs, she said as much as she needed . So I will give a Month then send her a goodbye thank you text and call it a day. I just can’t wait forever

Have been in a relationship with a guy for over 2 years and he just asked for space . This video really hit home and made sense . I have been struggling as how to handle this situation.

This happened to me and gave the space. However, all I got was we will talk and it never happened. I released and forgave him however my trust in people is ruined. It is what it is.

Thank you. This also applies when women ask for space.

This has been so helpful. I’m currently in a time out from my boyfriend and I’m very anxious about it as it’s our first fight. I’m having those feelings that I want to end the relationship because of the uncertainty and fear that he might end it or ghost me. It’s an awful place to be in and it’s already been a week, and I don’t see an end in sight. I’ve been checking in daily and today have decided to stop after he is still mad at me. This video has really made me feel less alone and to trust the process and let go of the outcome. (Hopefully this mindset will last till the end of the week and not just the next 5 minutes) Thank you

I've been going through a really difficult time lately as my boyfriend just kinda pulled away from me semi out of the blue and it's been about 3 weeks now and I have watched a lot of videos to make sense of things but, I have to say, your video has been the most helpful so far. Thank you for your consideration and kindness and allowing me to gain some really good perspective on the situation as this is exactly what I needed to hear right now. 🙏💗

I appreciate the advice it is refreshing to hear some advice isn’t so antagonistic towards the partner in question. 👍

What if he asks for space during long distance relationship??

This video is a very healthy perspective

me and my boyfriend decided to take a break because he felt smothered and really needed to clear his head. i wouldn’t say i was controlling but i can see how he’d feel that way because we lived together and spent nearly every waking moment together .. we were never apart so he felt like he lost that independence , not to mention he’s only 21 and i know it’s hard for him because he’s new here and all he has is me.. and that can be a lot on someone who enjoys space but doesn’t know how to find it. I miss him and we’ve discussed getting back together but i know he needs this for himself

I am going to same situation. I been with my guy a month but we were dating 1 month and half I feel we were enjoying dating and I pressure him into been in a relationship when he suggested for us fix our issues and take are time to be in a relationship instead I pressure him to be in a relationship or he will lose me completely. We been arguing a lot lately and he feels my behavior of me ending things or starting arguments left him overwhelmed and ask me for space , to step back a little and start dating again but fix ourselves individually. He says he loves me and that he isn’t going anywhere just needs to focus and that we can continue seen eachother but without the pressure of us been in a relationship and for us to try new things and enjoy the moment n really focus on that and not the past. He is “ deaf” so our communication is a barrier because he mis understands sometimes what I saw , he reads lips. He did text me saying that next step is working on ourselves so we don’t argue towards eachother . I am hurt just because I know is correct thing to do and start fresh but mostly because of the label of been in a relationship What do you recommend?

Clayton, this is a great video! Thank you for sharing your insights. I just had my guy friend who asked for space and I respect his wishes. He has an avoidant attachment style.

This is great advice. My partner recently asked for a break. He was very honest about the reason. I have a son with special needs & it has its challenges. Even though he’s tried, I know he’s frustrated, so hence the time needed. Our conversation was short & over the phone. I listened, and asked just one question & told him ok. So it’s been almost a week, and we haven’t texted or talked. Needless to say I’m anxious. Other than this challenge, the relationship , I thought was solid. Thoughts?

really nicely outlined. And yes - anger (with hurt underneath) is what I'm feeling. I know everyone's situation is different, but currently I feel upset because the person I am dating and I both started mirroring each other and didn't have a conversation about what pace we wanted to get to know each other. So then when they pulled back and said they needed space, I immediately felt like I did something wrong. We are now taking the space and I'm hoping to have a more honest and fruitful conversation soon and see if we can continue getting to know each other. It is still very early stages in dating for us, so perhaps it is good this happened now and we can move forward in a more open way. Thanks for the video, it is a very difficult situation, as I've never been here before (with anyone), but I'm glad we are taking the space.

I encourage my bf to go away and never am clingy vis text etc. He said he wants a future with me because of that. Men need space. I think im secure enough to not give a shit if he wants to end things. Hes a free spirit. So am i.

Going thru this right now it really hurts but I will let him be for now respect him and focus on me

I apologize, but there is nothing you can do when a person states they need space. Just let them go completely because once they declare space, their actual intention is not wanting to be with you, nor around you, nor invite your energy in, nor want your love or energy. You must accept it in actuality. If you linger or chase them, it's gonna lead to them pushing you away further and removing themselves further. When anyone requests space, you as having integrity and respect for yourself let them go completely because true love is actual and doesn't operate in the energy of uncertainty.

Clayton stop going away for so long!

This is helpful cause i have anxious attachamnet definitely and i need to learn to respect some ones need for space. It helped me calm down.

He told me not to wait coz he is not sure I love him so much I can only hope for the best that his life situations turn out to be better. He just wanna be alone he says. I will focus on my work. I just hope wherever he is however he is he feels better. Everything gets better for him. I hope he doesn't suffer at all.

We were in more of a situationship that ended up being like a relationship. We really connected and we’re having an amazing time. Then he said out of the blue he needs space it feels too much like a relationship, what should I think and do?

This calmed me ❤️

Thank you for this video, this really put my mind at ease. ❤

This is so genuine and authentic, and so insightful, thank you for putting things in a wonderful perspective for both parties, so each can also see space for what it is

My boyfriend was about to break up with me, but then i told him I'd wait for him a month so he can be in a better place to tell me what he wants. He says his insecurities are coming out in the relationship .Plus, he's not used to the type of relationship we have.

In my experience, more often than not, the relationship never resumes at all.

When i got my boyfriends text saying he wants space and time for himself, i never even responce, 4 days later he texted 'are you ok' Replied, im fine, i hope you too..

What about when someone is asking for a longer period of space more of a “break” they say they don’t want to see other people but need time to work through things with themselves.

Thank you for this video it really helps. I have ab anxious attachment style and the over thinking is intense The space is also helpful for me to I’m learning to be comfortable to the space and not be so attached but it’s not easy Thank you 🙏🏾

This friend called "space" has me singing Brandy: have you ever.😂😂😂😭😭😭

right now I'm in this state and I'm happy I saw your vid,, best advice ever! thanks! Regards Iranian female in Qatar

Thank you, I have been in a relationship for two years and three months, the whole thing kind of blew up quickly, and this is on the heels of a 15 year marriage that I got out of… 3 1/2 months later I met somebody, pretty hot and heavy, then a passive aggressive move, he moved in with me, I got that straightened out and he’s got a place to live, but it was every single weekend over and over and over again, I was devoting every weekend to this relationship. I have a daughter, I would like to pursue other things and friendships, I like to work out and I like my own space, so I have taken a lot more space as of lately, where it will be eight or nine days, or a couple weeks, one segment was three weeks of space, and it wasn’t out of anything bad, I just needed to come from a place of choice, so thank you very much

After 10 months of dating, meet each other kids, we've exchanges keys. He gave me a drawer- all his idea. Now he says he needs to think about his part in our relationship where our relationship is going. Hes not sure he can give me the kind of commitment I deserve... he told me the other day if hr really didnt want me as his place he would of asked for the key back. I'm hoping after he comes back from a jeep trip with his buddies we can figure this out.

Spot on! I love this

Thank you for your soothing voice.

The background looks so relaxing

Thank you so much for this video. It really helped❤. I do have an axious attachment style which has led to me spiralling. I've never experience anyone wanting space away from me and its hard manuevering this new terrain.

I have anxious attachment style How do you not go to 0 to 100 when it comes out of the blue? I feel like I'm going insane

Thank you your guidance and wisdom helped so much Grateful i came accross your video .

Thank you, this is exactly what I needed to hear.

You are amazing Clayton!

Outstanding. Thank you.

I been a committed relationship for 6 months... We have this connection with each other that is incredible. Then last week his grandmother passed away and his mother was in the hospital plus he was dealing with family issues. We had this fight he thought I disrespected him some how. But I would never do that not on purpose. I told him I was sorry that wasn't my intention. So because of that he said he needs a break and he can't move forward with this relationship and he has no more to give.. I was upset and started crying it was over the phone. So then I texted and said I love you but I'm going respect your decision and I will miss you. I'm heartbroken.

Such a great advice thanks sir

Thank you so much sir have a pleasant day to you

Thank you Clayton very useful info, I am gonna handle it differently. Greetings from Belgium, Europe.

It's been a week that he took space and I am lucky I did all the right things but honestly I only did it Bcz I did not want to beg. But I am dying a little bit everyday I did not expect it would take this long. Should I text or call? Or just keep quiet?

My ex of 6 years came back after being in no contact for two years. We both changed immensely , we’ve matured and gone through life without each other and when we returned it was as if nothing changed. The love was there , the feeling and all. He told me a week in after having seen me , made love and confessed his feelings that he needs 2-3 months of space to continue his healing and self love journey. At first I reacted with “is this my fault , why are you doing this” and ended with apologizing and understanding he needs space and needs to do it alone. A part of me can’t grasp that isn’t not my fault but I’m allowing space. What do you guys get from this?

I keep giving him space but he never talks with me about the issues before or after. He uses gaslighting terms at me to avoid working on the specific issues .So now i have anxious attachment since we never resolve anything. I can't take it anymore, i need communication.

My LDR partner of 2 years, asked for space to “better himself”. I tried to get him to see that I can help him better himself but he said he wants to be in a better position in life. The past two weeks for him has been constant fights from his family and from me. He’s asked for space before in which he cheated and it’s worrying me all over again. He’s said the same things now like he did back then but he’s asking for me to trust him and put faith in him. How do I get him to refrain from putting space and how do I find it within myself to trust my partner who’s 5,000+ miles away to not give up on our relationship..

I am in it right now , I can't open my eyes right thats how swelling from crying all night my eyes are , I am in a love triangle and the other person is being toxic and the situation is messy

Thank you a ton. This was super helpful.

I’ve never had a man ask for space. I am not a needy person and very busy so maybe men aren’t feeling smothered. Women smother men way too much and put them on a pedestal. Men allow women to smother them in the beginning because it feeds their ego- so men need to also stop doing that and be real from day one.

I need your opinion. I think there is a difference between when a woman says it than when a man says it. Out of my own experience as a woman i dated this guy who was smothering me calling me everyday wanting to see me daily without any breaks and I told him "i need space" and that i would rather see him once a week. He was being stubborn and didnt want to accept that but I put my foot down and said i would only see him once a week.

very practical tip.

im actually trying to give him space but its too fucking hard bc i just wnna be involved to everything in his life, when im in a bad mood i always want him around bc hes the only one who makes me feel better at that moment, but the fact that he doesnt want me around when he feels bad makes me feel like he doesnt want me in his life that much, its just weird sometimes bc i forget that we're different persons, but its so hard bc him wanting space makes me feel like he wants to leave, and i want to make him feel better but i make it worse and feel like i always make it about me, i just want to help him then get mad when i cant help him, maybe im being selfish but i just care about him a lot

This video came a little too late 😢 Just 1-2 months Ina very passionate loving relationship, he asked me for space, told me I was always there and asked me if I have a life of my own?. I do have a life of my own, I’m quite busy actually and he knew it. But those intense loving moments we spent together scared him most likely. Left me in limbo. We couldn’t maintain the balance, he started to pull me in and push me away. Broke up with him and he would tell me I’m just been emotional and wouldn’t accepted. He lost respect for me, I lost myself in him. Now I’m staying away for a week or so, it hurts, but must detach from his games and playing me. 💔

How about i ask them how long they need and they say until he doesn't feel like the way is? He said he doesnt know how long. It could be a couple days, a week or weeks. I told him I will miss him and he asked if I think he won't miss me

Life is too short. I cant be bothered

Thanks man..