Dave needs to answer this question. This isn't Mom guilt. This is a woman who worked hard and her gut is telling her to keep the house for her son. She is not being selfish, she is being wise.

Finally someone who sold the fiancé. Well done

One of the few times where the caller is absolutely right. Decades of hard work just for your stuff to go to someone elses kids? No thanks

The caller made the right decision splitting up with her ex-fiance. She worked too many years to pay off her house to give her fiance half of her equity. She should find someone else who is on the same page as her when it comes to money.

If I was dating a woman who had paid off her house (and wanted to leave it to her son) I would have zero problem with that. She paid if off and not me. It's hers to do with as she pleases. And if we were to get married I would feel exactly the same.

Better a break up than a divorce 😊

This young women knew in her gut…. Smart.

We didn’t hear the specifics of what the fiancé really wanted her to do, but sounded like he’s asking her to give her paid-for house and split it with all three kids upon their deaths

I agree with the caller. Protect your assets for you and your son. This is what you built before the relationship. It’s yours and he should respect that.

A good man isn’t looking to have YOUR paid off home go to him or his children. He’s a man he can buy his own freakin house

I'm sorry to disagree with the Ramsey team on this one. It sounds like the guy is after her assets. If he doesn't want to accept her wish to leave her house to her son then he's really after the house more than her. You did the right thing caller. God bless.

I’ve seen to many people lose everything in a second marriages and have nothing left for their children and grandchildren. Especially with unfair divorce laws in this country.

I see red flags all throughout Katrina's conversation and foresee she will end up losing all her assets if she would marry this guy. Sounded like there were several more issues in addition to the financial She was right to break up. Run while you can, Katrina

If the house divides the relationship it isn't healthy. The guy simply wants the house. Don't be the woman desperate for a relationship while people will play the role to get that house. Rachels advice makes this woman a target.

With a 70%+ probability of divorce in a second marriage, Ken and Rachel should not be recommending it. The caller does not appear ready for it and why is a prenup not even mentioned at all?

I definitely agree with the caller on this one. Follow your instincts and protect what you worked so hard for. If your fiancé can’t understand then he’s disrespecting the hard work you put into providing for your son. Sending you strength on your journey.

As a Mom in a similar situation . Protect your assets! Someone will love you and NOT be looking for an inheritance for their kids.

I don’t agree with Rachel here. Of course that man would want to split a massive asset amongst his own children. I would either just keep dating to protect my assets, or get a lawyer involved to ensure that home goes to my child. Someone once told me that people will ask questions on stuff that they typically already know the answer to. They just don’t want to accept it. It seems like this lady already knows her answer and she just feels bad about it.

This is why most Blended families just don't work 😕 too many mixed loyalties and baggage.

If I was the guy I would understand and I would start all over with her.

I wouldn't give up what I created for my son prior to the marriage, no way. Combine finances & any property obtained after marriage is done as a unit but there's no way I'd just hand over my hard work because of a piece of paper.

The fact that it's a big deal to him is a red flag. Most second marriages like keeping finances seperate because of this. I'm glad I met my person while we don't have anything. We can build together ❤️

I mean you did the right thing. You couldn't agree on two core issues and his plan would leave your son at more risk. Unfortunately it ended the relationship but fortunately you recognize this before marriage. It sucks but it sucks a lot less than what could have happened

Why can't they just separate what they have before marriage? Her son is 21. I would just transfer the house to my son. I disagree with Rachel's advice. She would have been miserable even if she "challenged" herself to separate "emotion" from things. That is her upbringing - how she came to be - and will be too late to change. If her fiancee loves her, why would he be interested in her paid-for house? It's the law. Why can't they start from scratch? Both of them brings in income into the house. Rachel and team didn't even bring up that the fiancee is sharing mortgage with someone else. He perhaps needs the money from the sale of her house so he can buy his house from his friend. So she gets nothing, his friend gets his money worth half her house and the fiancee will convince her to use the other half as a downpayment for a new house that he can't afford on his own salary.

She better go with her first mind and leave the home for her son. Let him work that out on his own for his children. They don't ask the right questions.

This lady is an absolute G of a mom to prioritize what she sacrificed and built up all that time and work she put in to leave to her son as her legacy to him for all that time she didn't get to be with him. Most especially where we are today with home ownership is for the next generations, the sense of pride and stability she will leave to him, I can feel it from over here having been raised by a rockstar of a mom who once apologized she couldn't give me a better life without such struggles we beared. That fiance is out of pocket and in a second marriage, as a man. He's sus.

She makes more money, has a paid for house, has a higher net worth, splits. Advice? Find a man that is higher quality then you shouldn’t have similar heartache.

I don't understand why one has to be married especially when you are financially independent

Ramsey team dropped the ball on this one! Why would you assume the house is the ONLY way the caller is making up for lost time? Maybe they’re spending a lot of time together now in the house she proudly paid off?? You don’t give up the house because some guy comes along and claims he wants half of it and won’t compromise.

Don't get married. He will take all you have.

Yeah, he is more for combining finances than you are because he and his kids will benefit at your expense. Hey, I earned a BSEE while I was a single custodial parent, so I know how challenging that is.

If she doesn’t trust him, she simply shouldn’t marry him; being constantly suspicious of his motives will make her miserable.

the Ramsey team just told the caller that she should give away 2/3rds of her life's financial work and her son's inheritance to accommodate a second marriage partner who is not on equal footing. This is terrible. How easy it easy it to just state that she has carved out the house and X amount of savings for her son. She should transfer the house to her son now, or utilize a prenup simply to carve out the inheritance. two years from now, this lovely woman will again call in saying that she followed the Ramsey's advice, and subsequently is going through a divorce where she is forced to sell the house and split all her savings with her ex-husband. which will mean she has to work another 10 years to afford the retirement that was previously in her grasp.

I’d probably feel the same way in her shoes, but It’s not rocket science, the son is 21, give him the home now before you get married and go into the relationship closer to the same financial level as the guy.

Of course the person with far less thinks they should combine everything. What would that guy say if it was the other way around? I seriously doubt he’d be singing that same tune.

Why not just a pre nup? They separate assets they came in the marriage with (based on what they came in with) and split 50/50 future assets.

I would deed the house to my son before we get married and therefore if anything happens to her the house is already in his name since the mortgage is already paid for...

That momma is a rock star ⭐️

Absolutely not! Don’t do that! Those kids will get an inheritance from their mother and their father oh….and you Karina! But your son will only get someone from you Karina.

I agree the financial differences are red flags, but I would never put a new spouse over my kids, no matter what some scribblings from an old document suggested. But you do you.

Lady is right. Leave your stuff to your kids not your step kids. Same for him.

I’m a little confused why this man thinks he is entitled to a home she bought before the marriage. It seems wrong to me. I get combining finances but she spent 21 years raising her kid and working hard and she wants her son to reep the benefits. If the kids were young when they got married, it might be different but I agree with the caller on this one

This is an example of why you don't go to your pastor or untrained people in general for relationship advice. Seek an experienced and licensed counselor. In my opinion if you take the Ramsey team advice you will be going through a rough divorce. You did the right thing.

This is too much for this woman to just give up. Don’t get married. It’s not worth it if he doesn’t understand you. Stay free and fly high.♥♥♥♥

The question here is this. If the man was bringing in much more into the relationship and he wanted to leave all his stuff to his own children and not your son, will you be ok with it? If yes then I agree with the caller. Human nature is tricky. Most people are driven by their own selfish interests. And marriage is a joke. Most people will say “I love you” while in the same breath not surrendering themselves and their belongings to the person they are supposed to be in a committed relationship with. I hope they all find peace.

Girl Run ..fast ..you dodged a bullet..if he’s worried about a house that was paid and already decided to be given away before marriage you should already know what your marriage will be like.

I would advise a prenup in this situation. What each brings into a second marriage or relationship with step-kids should be kept separate. What they bring in together after marriage can be shared equally.

I don't think they knew what Karina was getting at...Kaina if you're reading this..move on. You will meet someone special just for you.

I’ve lots of ppl I know who’s going through a split up and they combined the stuff they had before the marriage including put the others name on the house they had premaritally. Now the current spouse who had nothing coming in gets half of the home because their name is on it! Because of that some are forced to stay in an abusive or loveless marriage to keep their house. Some are also bearing the burden of paying for half the bill of the others spouse because they tied debt into a heloc! I disagree with letting go Rachael n ken because u guys lives are rainbows and sunshine doesn’t mean you have to say just let go! The world is a mess now with relationships! People are messed up and sometimes marry to get stuff from the other person after divorce hence forcing them to combine assets. Don’t combine anything you had before marriage. When you get married you start investments for his kids and teach your 21 year old to start investing for himself! N I would give your kid your house and he will leave his house to his kids. Then you two can buy your own retirement home n only that and stuff accumulated during this marriage should you split in three.

Wow she dodge a bullet for sure😮 how pathetic of the man to want her house split up for his own kids.

Rachel is not right. The companionship and love from a man is never worth disinheriting a child or giving a child less because the other party has more children. She can find another man who agrees with her more than this guy does. There are a lot of fish in the sea and there’s no need to settle. I absolutely think she did the right thing by breaking up with the guy. This man obviously did not have her son’s best interest at heart. There is nothing wrong with her assets going to her child and his assets going to his children. This is a second marriage and a prenup would be appropriate. Also, this lady could make up a trust where the house is in the trust and would go to her son upon her death. The house could also be in trust for her grandchildren after her son passes, and if he has no children she can designate where the house will go after that. In a second marriage there is no reason for the spouse to inherit a house he had no part in paying for and I Agree with this woman that it should be life to her son.

Love and money just don’t mix and match.

VERY smart decision

Y'all never asked which house they plan to live in together and share: the one she paid off all by herself or the one he is still paying on. She is right to be skeptical if she isn't 100% sure this man is not just marrying her to split her paid off assets. She needs to be 100% sure he is committed to God and to her first. I think the advice they should have given was for this couple to go to pre-marital counseling and talk out all the issues with a pastor/Christian counselor.

The guy on the show said it “you did the right thing by walking”. Then he changed his answer just to be on the same page as Rachel, but he knows what’s up! Rachel gave terrible advice. Protect your son… your ex fiancé is after your assets. Protect those assets with a prenup or whatever an attorney recommends

The fiancé what is his want? What about this guy on title with the fiancé. If she don’t want to share equally , then don’t get married. And he has someone on title so he changes everything. He has half a house with sone equity which has to be split and she has a paid off house. Lady, I am on your side. I have three houses so I would want a prenup. Or we don’t get married. Most folks who have not been thru a divorce give advice from a never been divorce point of view. U spent decades then sone guy comes along and u end up splitting with this new spouse. Follow your gut. U leave your house to your son and he does the same u guys go get a house together.

He is smart with money? How so? Sounds like he has nothing. Know doubt he wants to combine everything!!! Her son is an adult. So this is 21 years of her grind. What she has accumulated up to now all goes to her son. ditto for him: what he has accumulated up until this point goes to his kids. If they get married, then everything they accumulate together gets split between all three kids. If the situation was reversed and HE was the one with a paid off house, my answer would be the same.

If you have kids and then remarry and start another family, your children’s inheritance suffers enormously there’s no way around it.

I grew up with two parents, but I've known several adults who had single parents. This lady should talk to her son. He's a grown man, and I'll be willing to bet that a lot of the "mom guilt" that she feels is unjustified. Kids who grow up like this are very resilient, and they understand more than the parents realize. They know their single parent sacrificed for them and that they loved them.

😮 “he had a baby at age SEVEN!?” 😮 - Rachael 🤣🤣 Rachel is the best 💙

This is complicated because her house is paid off, but his isn't, and has another partial owner to it as well. If they get married he will be using income after they get married to continue to pay off his existing mortgage that she isn't apart of. My advice is that they should not get married until that mortgage is paid off, or the future husband sells his equity. Then they each can list their assets in a prenuptial agreement, and those assets upfront are considered non-marital assets. But he has to take action to either sell, or keep paying it down. Is she willing to wait for him if he wants to keep paying that mortgage, or does she want to dump him and go back out there? In my opinion combining pre marital assets so that everything become marital assets and then have the inheritances spread equally is naive that every thing is going to be smooth sailing, and sets another one up for failure. This is their second marriage, and second marriages need to be looked at with the eyes of an accountant, not rose tinted youthful eyes.

“It was mutual”….. She got dumped 😂

You should put your spouse over your children? That doesn’t seem right.

Rachel 100% speaking from a position of privilege, this house is clearly the vast majority of this women's wealth it is her legacy to her child. The equivalent would be if Dave was to remarried(god forbid) and his new wife thinks her children deserve half of Ramsey Solutions upon his passing; I imagine her opinion would be very different.

Put your kids name on the deed now so this doesn't happen again

Earned an engineering degree and paid off a house as a single mom? Good for Karina. A man would be lucky to have such a partner. That's proverbs 31 stuff.

Don't like this advice at all. She's sound financially in a paid for house, ex-fiance that is "good with money" is still paying a half share of his house owned with a friend. Of course he is wanting to combine finances, his are sketchy. Relationship had dumpster fire written all over it. Good thing it's over.

Better to break up now than divorce later.

Do not get married to anyone under any circumstance, Period. She dodged a bullet with this guy.

That was great advice Rachel!

lol, listen to the end. She doesnt want to combine finances (she's smart). Read between the lines here, she knows that marriage = a legal contract and for her it wouldnt be equitable. Marriage in the U.S. for tens of millions of us, is no longer a spiritual commitment ceremony that professes love etc, Its become transactional. It's a great call because everyone getting married now should be very aware when you get married the other person gets a slice of whatever you have.

She needs to just give her son the house now. Then she can move forward with whatever else she needs to do.

It's her breaking the engagement because the guy makes less money and therefore brings less to the table. I bet you if this guy made more money than her this house would not be an issue.

Great advise! In a God centered relationship all aspects of finances and life are shared/ communicated about. Key is finding someone equally yoked in there relationship with Christ and themselves.

For me, if I met someone I’d want a prenup of everything we have already built separated from what we will build. I’m a single mom, I have a pension, savings and a home. I want that all separated to take care of myself and my daughter if the marriage were to end. If it succeeded anything moving forward would be to take care of ourselves in old age and the split the inheritance equally among kids/ grandkids.

Caller , you are not selfish! Caller's assets go to her son. Man is responsible for his kids. There is a reason the man wants to combine accounts and money. He needs a second job.

She did the right thing... far too risky when assets and people's kids are involved. This, and both parties need to be willing to sign a prenup when it's a second marriage. You have to be smart and really protect yourself -especially nowadays.

This is bad advice. The woman is a single mother and has a right to give HER son, his inheritance from her. I hope she does not take their advice. What type of man wants his woman’s money, that he did not earn. No way.

What I believe the fiancé is doing is attempting to enrich himself Now under the manipulative stance of future inheritances for the three kids.

Right decision to break up.

This lady was about to disinherit her son over a misunderstanding of the bible. Typical religious BS

This is why I firmly believe in YOURS, MINES, and OURS where finances are concerned . My personal properties and debt before marriage is ALL MINE.

They are so wrong. She worked and sacrificed for her son not for some kids she doesn’t even know well nor like. She shouldn’t even mention she owns a house, especially to a male that brings nothing, it’s none of his business.

Or the guy can "let go" of the idea that he gets the fiancé's money. As long as they can truly reconcile.

Well, he says to combine everything because she has more than he has - it's advantageous to him.

She’s gonna live in that house for next 30-40 years , it doesn’t matter for her son She should take care of herself first

Very good advice

Oh no no no. This woman is asking you how does she protect her family from a new marriage. She needs to put her SON first. This home should be put into a prenuptial agreement. Or transfer the home in the sons name and push the tax to your end to your estate when you die

Sorry you are wrong on this one … she needs to put her stuff in a trust for her self and her son… then get married and build the assets together…from that point on…

Protip: Take advice from someone who made it on their own, not a trust fund baby

This is a conversation that needs to be had with a Christian family therapist, but I do agree that you can’t “make up” for time lost with children or people in general with possessions. She did what she had to do for her and her son, but it’s great that she’s looking out for his future and wealth. She’s a great mom!

If the guy truly loves this lady, he would agree to give the house to her son. Anyway, this property was acquired before their relationship. Then after they get married, whatever properties or wealth they would acquire as a married couple, they can evenly distribute to all their kids as an inheritance. The behavior of the ex-fiance' is a big Red Flag on this relationship.

The caller is right on this. Her son is 21 and she wants to leave him something. The fiancé has two under 18’s and he wants to combine finances and split inheritance. That’s a red flag. He could have offered to sell his home and asked her to sell hers and they could buy something together, then distributed everything evenly, in the end between the two kids. Could have worked out for her too, if she sold before her wedding and put major portion of it in trust to her son. This way when buying a new home with husband they can put an equal amount down.

It's a no-brainer you split it exactly in half her child gets half and his two kids get half!

Better a break up now than a messy divorce later.

Dave Ramsey simplified. *If the woman has more money/equity/net worth, keep that separate. But if the MAN has more, then combine.* If the guy with more money resists, start quoting bible verses such as “to thee all my worldly goods I pledge,” until you guilt him into it. If the woman has more, tell the guy he’s greedy. There, I saved you hundreds of hours of watching these videos.

He owns his house with someone else ( roommate? How much debt does he have? What's his income? Savings? On the surface, it sounds like she is way better off financially: time to think very carefully before entering into a marriage. Get some advice from your pastor/family.

I love how she said I was in college working and single

This is why prenups are relavent in 2022 just sign the prenup get him off the deed on his old house with his friend and get married whats the big deal

Don't change your mind on this. The house is in your name, keep it so. The man can leave his home to his two children. Split between three does not sound right. Prenup, and then you can split whatever you build up together, between the three. Never put someone on the deeds if that person has not paid for the house too.