I understand what you are saying 100% it's disgusting!

I have seen this with my mentor's ex-wife and his two oldest sons who are about my age. They both live in fear of their mom, acknowledge it, and the middle son still disparages while speaking respectfully of his father. Talk about cognitive dissonance. In other words, proof of their mother's brainwashing.

Agreed. It's sad. I watched my brother create a monster in my niece. One narcissist raised another. And my family enabled his sick behavior. They are disgusting people. I went NC.

Yes been alienated from kids for 3 years now. I was a stay at home and raised them 90% alone as he traveled. We were “best friends” they used to tell me. The light slowly began to dim from their eyes the more time they spent with him until they both turned against me saying the same things he’d say to me. I never imagined this would happen. They witnessed him hurting me physically, not paying child support etc. it blows my mind and heart. I moved away to salvage the rest of my life and get far away from him and his monkeys

@@Somebodysomewheresometime I know your heart is broken, mine too. But never ever give up. I pray every day for my kids, and God is faithful. My son actually called me a couple of weeks ago and he has grown so much. Six years ago he wanted me dead, but now he's figuring things out about his dad. One of my daughters will text with me but the other two won't talk to me at all (for now.) There have been times over the past 6 years when it was too painful to even think about my kids, let alone pray, but my son's recent return has given me hope again. Never, ever give up. At the very least, pray for them - they need you to do that. Because of the pain and betrayal I moved away, too. I also needed to figure things out. My counselor told me, "Just like you went through your journey, let them go through theirs." I'll pray for you, too. Hugs.

Yep

Yes, that happened to me too. We stopped going to that therapist for 11 years. And then when I separated, I went back to her and told her how he had left me in the hospital for two days and told our boys that they didn’t need to contact me. That therapist then said, “oh my gosh, I have made a mistake. I believe your husband may be a covert narcissist, and he manipulated me too.

Però se ne cerchi e trovi di davvero competenti, fondatori di scuole, docenti e supervisori smascherano il covert e pure i terapisti incapaci.

Happened to me.

And what is even worse is when your covert narcissist parent IS the therapist.

Damn this comment hit home

They try. please continue to befriend yourself bit by bit. That inner critic is just a version of your narc. It's not you.

​@user-bn8kq6iz7b thank you

🤣😂👏🏽👏🏽

I've been married 14 years. We've had 5 children. Oldest is 11 years old youngest is 1 year old. Now that my 11 year old is old enough to express herself, I realize just how terribly he has impacted their lives. I do not want him to ruin the younger 3 like he did our oldest 2. I'm 100% dependant on him financially even tho, I worked for the first half of our marriage. I paid off all his tickets, all his fines, all his debt, purchased all of our vehicles, our house and land, and paid a lawyer 10,000 cash to keep him out of jail (to serve house arrest) so that he wouldn't miss our first child being born. After that I started being a stay at home mom, and have sense then. Now he owns his own company and is doing very well for himself. I hate to walk out of our marriage and miss ALL the fruits of my labor getting him to this point... but staying just isn't worth it if he doesn't start trying to improve which I know is slim chance

@@jadedempath7453 It's incredibly hard to get out of relationships like this. The longer you stay the harder it is. I knew that if I was going to leave I'd have to get out before my daughter turned 4 because that's around when they start to remember things long term. I had a house that was paid for and my financial future was secured but ultimately the well being of yourself and your kids is far more important. I'll be praying for you.

Exactly... Ive taken soooo much bullshit from my narc. He said he didnt care about his child for the 1st time a lil while back. Thst was my bullshit limit. That unalived that final little thread of care i had left... Im out

Different strokes for different folks….My hill to die on was rescuing the children by any means necessary! He took me to court citing child abuse and neglect. Thank God I had a judge that saw right through him. I was awarded full custody of the children (..him one ☝🏾 single day visitation from 1-5).. Still that was too much because I know with out a doubt, that had his handler a.k.a. his smother, given the word.. he would’ve killed them to get to me, that’s how much these people hated my guts. So I set about devising a plan to remove the kids out of his reach. I sold my home under the cover of night ( so to speak). No signs outside, internet only, private showings etc. Sold in a week, closed in three.. Look at God!! I said to hell with child support, it wasn’t like we were going to see the money anyway, let him keep his dirty money! Let me tell you something, when man closes the door, God open windows! I said to hell with a visitation order, to heck with the “stay in the state” order and I disappeared with those kids, moved states!! Yes, it’s possible to win if you FAINT not! The children are happy again! Just graduated HS & attending University, they have good friends, they KNOW how to love, feel and reciprocate the same. This was the hill on which I was dying!! Leave no children behind! We are free, so can you! Thank you Lord! 🙌🏾

You could have chose a better partner. Learn for next time. In the next life.

after reviewing some of these videos it really helped me disassociate myself somewhat of the trauma i faced and continue to face. Having an understanding of narcassistic patterns help you not take it as personal knowing its just word salad meant to get to you.

I fell in love with a narcissist and now I love everyone but her.

@@Lenoxygen Lol Lucky you if you don't see her in other people like her.

When I divorced the narc after 30 years of emotional abuse gaslighting etcetera it took like 1 minute for my attorney and for the mediator to see right through his crap both of them said after dealing with him for 5 minutes they had no idea how I did it as long as I did with him and what a shame that my son can't see it but as soon as he knew that I could see through him and I knew what his game was he went on a scorched Earth campaign to put a wedge between my son and I and now he lives closer to him and he has everybody separated so he can come up with whatever crap he wants and defile me and my name and come up with whatever horrible lies he wants to against me and I have no way to defend myself and the only thing I can do is hand it up to God who sees all of it who knows all of it who knows how evil this person is and I just have to let him take care of it and trust in the end my son's eyes will open or at least my daughter-in-law's will with her being on the outside. I have more hope for her being able to see what's going on than I do for my son sadly.

its kinda nuts

I lived with one for 11 months..My sisters friend, known her since she was 12..this is what happened to me. She outright told me I was I was not the person she thought I was. I had set boundaries as what I would tolerate, not to be her work horse. So much more.

Same here. It’s been nearly 4 years since my ex has been out of my life, and I still don’t even want to think about dating… I feel that if someone I thought I knew/lived with for 7 years could turn out to be so covertly manipulative & abusive, it’s difficult to once again trust my intuition. Even though I’ve learned so much and having been working on healing my own trauma, I’m still too afraid to risk losing the peace I’ve cultivated in my (and my kids) life… he was a part of my kids lives from ages 3/4 - 10/11 and he left without so much as a goodbye to them & acted liked they were somehow culpable for some of our relationship “problems” …. A grown man holding resentment, especially one that is controlling & abusive, towards small children because he is threatened by the men they will eventually become..,, well that is scary thing! And that is just the tip of the iceberg… It is awful that so many people have experienced similar, but I’m also very thankful to know I’m not the only one, I still watch these videos to remind myself it was real…

Me too unreal how it was all a lie

Can’t imagine the money spent.

Me too ❤ be strong and know that if you are still it all works out. I’m 70, had a large family and divorced my husband, their father. They eventually work things out themselves ❤bless you 🙏

Yes. Every conversation is a game to them. A game they must win. Genuine conversation is impossible. So any time a decision has to be made, they will be against you. Never for the children.

Right it’s never about the children. Dealing with that now…

Ugh. I feel this! Daughter is 10 and 8 years later divorced he is STILL trying everything in his power to take control. I am at a loss. People say oh, he’ll stop. No, he will not. Ugh! Stay strong mama!! You got this ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@@soniamckenzie4381my youngest was 2 also when we split. I hear you. It’s hard. Best thing I’ve found is being completely boring & only Reply if and when absolutely necessary and never react to what they say or do. They crave attention to feel validated or important… they are the most vile creatures

@@lyricsoftheart100💯 never about what’s best for the kids. Always about what is for them!

You’re not alone Narcissism is becoming a pandemic in our societies

You’re not alone! Educate yourself as much as you can about their mindset, it will protect you from being a brainwashed pawn.

Same you’re not alone…

Read the book “Why Does He Do That?” to help strengthen you as you heal. Made a difference to me and kept me strong in the face of his manipulation when I finally, permanently left him after 25 years of marriage.

I m 30 too and just started really understanding wth is happening to me and has happened to me all my life. You're not alone, all this is so crazy... Seek help from a therapist, EMDR is actually helping me (but the hard way have to admit but worth the try) You're not alone, there's so many of us and this explains a lot about humanity when you think of it, about "human nature"

That's my father too, except for the money part. All but doesn't talk to me. Too busy he says but has lots of friends and takes vacations. Completely ignores he has a grand child. But adores his golden child daughter, my half-sister.

@@alevela9309 It takes a toll. I wish there was a "but"

My father has been like this growing up so as an adult like this it was no surprise. I did keep trying after my kids were born but obviously if your grandchildren’s existence isn’t a reason itself to want to visit and get to know them, then you don’t freaking deserve the privilege of not just being a parent but also acknowledged as a grandparent. The difference between my kids abusive grandmother on their fathers side as opposed to their abuser grandfather on my side, is that grandma always wanted to see them and spend time with them, especially in her last 10 years and she stopped her Markt snide comments with me- though I minimized opportunity anyway. However their abusive grandfather would be polite at least to my son my eldest daughter, his 1st granddaughter once she turned 18 became misogynistic and abusive to her. She stood up to him visited her beloved Nana one more time then stopped. She is 28 now. Her Nana died 2 years ago and she’s only seen her grandfather once at her Nanas funeral. But avoided him. Like I avoided him. He was extremely abusive to my dying mother and me as I helped care for her. He unequivocally hastened her death by preventing her fleeing and resting during the day until she was hospitalized. When he threatened me I could not see my dying mother if I didn’t stop ‘my ad attitude’, ie deflecting his abuse away from my mother then finally standing up to him. That was about 4 days before Mum went into hospital. His level of depravity and cruelty had hit as low and perverted as every twisted pedophile, rapist, child abuser and domestic violence perpetrator I had had to deal with in a job I did for 17 yrs. I was embarrassed that I am related but in reality he’s the one who should have his venom he has spat at everyone and his disgraceful actions and behavior shoved back down his own throat and choke on it. I’m done.

What were you up to while they were being raised this way? You write as if you were not there or you were there and did nothing but watch it happen. Now you're playing innocent as if you had nothing to do with it.

@@michiganmymichigan Nice name, Yooper here eh!

@@michiganmymichigan It’s not bad. You can see it some days more than others but no problems breathing or anything like that. We just had some real hot weather today.

At least you can see the damage it has done to your kids. Some mothers are so horrible that they DENY their kids were hurt in any way. Truly evil.

Same here. Never blame yourself 🙏

❤

I'm so sorry I hope that you'll be able to prevent alienation from your child

😢

Same hier..

@@danacodres Soo Sorry! 💐

Thank you for saying this. I am moving away in 3 weeks. I lost the custody battle because of his silver tongue. My heart is broken but if I stay i will die .

I feel your pain.

I'm in the exact boat... awaiting divorce.

💗

I hit $20,890 to get a legal separation and parenting plan. The family court system is a complete joke when it comes to recognizing emonal abuse. Cover narcissist never follow the parenting plan and court orders.

Exactly why I didn't leave him until my youngest son was 18. Still turned my children against me but at least we didn't have to go through the horrors of court.

I'm in it right now 😭

I'm so sorry you had to go thru this. I've been trying to get thru to my children for 8 years now. Their mother has brainwashed them and manipulated them. She is such a skillful and heartless liar. I imagine you can relate to that? I've been trying to save my kids from this fate for 8 years and I can't get thru to them. Everything I do she somehow puts a negative and sinister twist on to make my efforts appear to be spiteful or vindictive. I'm a dad trying to rescue my kids from lair of a monster and no one understands. Maybe you do. Is there anything you could tell your younger self that might have made you open your eyes sooner so you could cut some years from the learning curve for yourself? Is there anything you could say to someone else suffering similarly to clear the fog from their brain for a minute? She has programmed my son so thoroughly that he parrots the same words that she does. He's so full of anger and hostility for things that I had nothing to do with. She did all of it. And she has prepared them for my counter accusations so they simply dismiss my attempts to tell the entire story. They reject anything and everything that she has not prepared them in advance for and they run away. Its exhausting trying to gain any ground. I've tried so many things with them. I'm ready to give up forever. This battle is taking the life from me. I want to do right by them before I die. It's all I care about. They will be destitute and alone after she dies. She has prepared them for nothing. It's such a sad story I can't believe it's mine. My son and I were sympatico before she did this. I would tell people the thing I valued most in my life was my relationship with my son. It was true. She went for the thing I valued most and didn't care how it affected him. He's changed dramatically. I'm afraid he's going to hurt people.

​@gigievans395 get as much information as you can online from such professionals & empower yourself with as much knowledge as you need to regain your sanity & strength to move onto a better life of peace, love, joy, prosperity & especially good health being surrounded by people who will build you up & not destroy you in the name of "love". These people have an infantile mind & it's extremely difficult to speak to them as a logical adult as their "wiring" is so broken. I pray you will come through all this safe & at peace.

Same.49 yrs of betrayal from my mother until I chose myself and walked away.

Same here.

Fricking witchcraft narc mother gang stalkers are THE worst

So identifiable

I know about that too…sending you healing loving vibes ❤

❤

🙏🙏🙏

I have a 5 year old too. I had to plan my own escape from my husband, hide my plans and finally got out. Now it's on to deal with custody and placement...leaving was the best and hardest thing.

Very wise

Wtf. Why are you still in that house ? That man is berating and harassing a 5 year old and permanently damaging her. And you’re talking about online school. STAND UP FOR YOUR CHILD AND STOP BEING A COWARD. File for divorce and get child support ordered by the court. Wtf are you doing ?

My son is married to a covert narcissist. After being told there would be no children, she suddenly fell pregnant after he tried to divorce her. They now have a son. He is the primary caregiver, we are completely isolated as the parents in law and grandparents. What advice can you give me to help my son as this will have no longetivity

omg this may mean we are related this was also my mother. saying mean stuff always then acting teehee cute i didn’t even understand it when i was little, it was like she was mean nice. she turned us against the person who didn’t give her attention. our dad. she had us for his attention and im sure he hated her for it. then she used us to hurt him. it was all such a fake with human dolls. i was 1 of 4 daughters. she totally played “house” with us. im sorry. your not alone. i have no relationship with my siblings because everyone is so mean and hateful but keep going and stay no contact. it’s not selfish. it’s actually life saving.

❤

I feel your pain😔 I'm living it as well! Even though I just received full custody, it's seems as if it's to late. My ex wife has succeeded in turning the children against me and they are now loyal only to her. Even though the authorities took them away from her ( and me), they can't fully control the amount of manipulation she exerts on them through the social media platforms, and so she essentially has full access to them. She is wearing the kids down on a daily basis, undermining not only my relationship with them, but also all the work done by the hardworking caretakers, the struggling psychiatric personnel, the poor social welfare workers and the hopeful but decisive authorities. The woman throws everyone under the bus, while telling the children that she is the only one that has the solutions to their suffering, and all without the slightest regard for the impact it has on the them as human beings. The amount of selfishness and egotistical behaviour she projects is staggering to bear witness to, and at present I'm getting close to being at the end of my rope as to what I have to do to save not only my beloved children, but indeed also my own life, sanity and dignity 🤦‍♂️😥

Mike your not alone I'm going through this as well. 6 yrs of hell stuck in shared there's no parenting. Your not alone I'm deeply sorry you're going through this as well. In my case I'm dealing with malignant and grandiose sociopath all of the above when I get 3k to go back to court to fight full custody I'm going for it there's so much he continues to do. It's very heart breaking what they do. They play games in court and want to inflict pain out of vingience in spite it's very sad they don't what's best our system where I live Montreal 💔 it's deeply flawed they don't understand they continue the abuse. I completely understand what you're going through over 5 yrs of counseling.

Truth.

Project, project, project . Maybe they even believe their own shit?

Perspective is everything!

Yeah right the know exactly the atrocities theyve committed and continued to commit

"No one believes me" That, I find the most devastating for me in my marriage of 37 years. Happy for you. Freedom, at last.

Keep your head up. I went through a similar situation with my mom. 6 years no contact and still healing. But forgiving her is essential and is a gift to yourself, not her. It's the next step on the healing journey and complete freedom 💖

Wow 🙏

I don't tell people that I was relieved when my mom died. I felt terrible that I couldn't stop smiling at her funeral. My mother was miserable, tortured, fueled by anger, manipulation, and lies. To explain my joy at her passing, I said that she was sick for a long time and now she isn't suffering any more (on this earth, anyway). People never ask for details. They wouldn't belive me anyway. She died 15 years ago. I pray for her soul now. As a counselor, I have learned a lot about trauma and that this behavior is the result of terrible trauma in childhood. I have forgiven her(on most days) not because she deserves it, but because I deserve the peace that comes with forgiveness.

🙏🙏🙏

Yikes- I hope you’re able to prove what he did with taxes and IRS fraud because he’d be in jail

I think the saddest thing about these monsters is they get joy by torturing and hurt anyone who ever dares to genuinely love and care for them. Mine treated me like crap despite being around as little as possible. He wasn’t around but managed to convince me several times to not go down the child support road for the first five years of our daughters life. My state doesn’t do back pay at all only from first filing and the first five years are the most expensive. Got out of nearly six years of mental, emotional, physical, or financial help. He Can’t seem to keep any residence for more than six months. Will quit any job where they properly garnish his wages. Owes over 15k will do anything to to try to get get his support lowered such as having new kids, refusing certain jobs, and yet still has time to send me long ugly text about my parenting then turns around Says I’m always ranting and bitter who is had all this “help” and no one believes my “lying single mother act”. Funny how my short grey rock replies and or silence are “ranting”.

So you believe you're entitled to get more than what it really costs to raise a child and provide, because he makes "millions"..ok

​​@@AlmightyIn5aneWow! That sneaky demon came out. You should go clean up

I went through this with my entire nsrcisstic family cult - it is insane isn’t it?

Because it's spiritual. You're in a spiritual war for your soul.

@@sandrathomas2893 well they did not get it - the opposite - but it almost cost me my life and took years to achieve

yes they are highly dangerous people !!!

Agreed. They’re excellent and playing victim and fooling people into seeing you as the bad guy.. they have to experience it to see the covert part

That's my ex wife. I had screenshots of her trying to initiate an affair and her communication with her intended AP from after she agreed to stop and she still denied it. I had proof of her intentions to use me as an ATM and I had proof of her buying and using illegal substances. In the family court they believed her lies about me lying even though I had proof of every single statement I made. They simply chose not to look at the evidence and chose to believe her smearing of me. That's incredibly frustrating.

Same here. When my kids talked to the evaluator, they literally had cheat sheets written in the mother's handwriting, and they still didn't think the mother was manipulating them.

@@nickel7065 I’m sorry you experienced the same thing! It’s incredibly frustrating but now after this I realize that our testimony is actually more powerful than evidence. I think because we are so used to feeling like no one will believe us that we go gather evidence and are so focused on proving it that we fail to just tell our story. I heard from another woman on you tube that about 90% of evidence is never looked at. I learned a lot, being present and just speaking from the heart could be the best thing we can do. My therapist said we emote which makes sense now. Thought and emotion transference. I believe God will sort out our situations but we must let go and leave it to him. The Lord says revenge is mine. I’ve seen people get away for a while and then it catches up to them at some point. It’s best to just live our best life. The smearing perhaps has made me even stronger. I’ve come to a point of indifference, only a handful of people will hear the smear campaign the rest of the world is free to know the real you. It taught me to never let anyone define who I am, I and God can define me and thats it. 💖 only you and God knows who you are, the people who love you know who you are and don’t ever let anyone try to convince you, you are someone else.

If I say no friends house , he takes them. If I say no phone , he lets them keep. Ect

Mine husband does that to. Looking back to I was always the butt of jokes with him and our children

Mine feeds them sugar. I’ve called the police for him disturbing bed time. Endless amount of treats and chaos. Somehow he manages to snap at the kids unnecessarily and the older child knows dad is not okay. He’s a bpd/narc

@@tinamarzullo8868 Parallel Parenting/- it’s awful

Add to my comment.. his parents who have a lot of money support his efforts , give him money not to work as he should and manipulate my children as well. Fake, evil People. However the children are seeing them for who they are.

❤ lovely comment

Beautifully stated, I can relate. I too displayed narcissistic traits many times during my 18y marriage and 23y relationship in total. I only discovered my ex was a CN, after my decision to consciously uncouple from our marriage. I am learning to not only set boundaries but keep to them. I have parted amicably and have no resentment, anger or hatred as I learned the journey back home to the truest most authentic expression of myself. There are gifts, in every relationship even narcissistic ones.

Spirit of pride They won't humble themselves to find honesty. There's no truth in them.

@@sandrathomas2893 If you believe in God, then by default you should believe that His truth is in everyone and everyone has the ability to be healed through Him.

It is great to hear of someone who believes that healing for a narcissist is possible. With God all things are possible. As long as there is life, there is always hope!

Mind blowing up here

I'm in the same boat. Every week its like a reset.

No advice. Just a hug. 🫂 I’m so sorry. 😢 I’m experiencing so much of the same.

Don't give up, try as best you can to keep your son away from the narcissistic father.

Get healthy first but in the meanwhile write your son love letters and make copies with dates, mail them to the narcs house, still facetime and have timestamps. One thing kids do is get caught up in it and if we as parents couldn't see it for what it was for years why do we expect a child to "GET" that their parent is a narc. My therapist told me the children will find out in time. SHe def told me to fight for them too because narcissism is abuse period. They do not love their children they use them. As God gives you strength keep fighting for your son. For me my only advice is to put your faith in Almighty God. His Spirit is the only spirit greater than the narc spirit. Jesus is the TRUTH. Stay under the umbrella of truth and don't let the narc rob you of your good name and integrity. Lies and things are exposed in time but the Righteous will last forever. Really pray and seek God's help and wisdom on how to move. WHen I tell you Christ kept me ahead of the narc and favored me in every situation. HE DID! Even when he withheld child support after losing court for months God knew why and it was actually a blessing in disguise. Don't beat yourself up on letting your son live with him for your sanity but def pray about if that is God's will or best. SOmetimes we just get so tired of their EVIL and yes it is EVIL. THe things they do and lengths they go is demonic. THey don't even really want the kids, its all for competition and a show. We actually love our kids so it is the hardest thing ever but I pray God continues to hold you up and pull you through. Reading this I totally understand but I am in joy and peace. 3 years of therapy, 4 years since leaving him during pandemic. God said GO and I did with 3 kids in tow. He tried everything, wouldn't co parent, harrassed until finally I went NO CONTACT with kids. They had cells and I told him for his disrespect he no longer had access to phones I pay for and to email me. Once he saw I was not triggered by him nor liked him he went on his way. Didn't do right by them for a while but now found a new victim supply so is trying to act like a parent again. They fool those who they can fool but I keep my peace and keep these kids grounded. They are now honor roll students, give me no problem, and one graduated and is in the military in Hawaii. I had to release control and put it all in God's hand because it is spiritual. Also, I relate to your christian counseling. THAT WAS THE WORST EXPERIENCE because they use the Bible one-sided and focus so heavily on the husband getting sex and nevermind you tell them the most ridiculous things from lying and cheating and they still talking about grace. I had to forgive them and now will not tolerate a church that does not have accountability for abusers or lies. God operates in Truth so they need to cut it out. We are NOT responsible for others behavior. Keep healing and it does get better. The kids are smart. Your son will figure it out in his time and you will be right there to validate his experience. God bless you and keep trusting!

ex covert narc female is bleeding my sons soul dry .. Had to leave because i couldnt just let my son be abused right in front of me . led to massive raging outburst lasting for sometimes weeks. its weird that they can gas light themselves into insanity. In the end Im homeless but I can no sleep and my blood pressure is way down.

I would love to know how my grandchildren will be able to develop and combat the abuse in the environment they must endure with a mean narcissist father. As a G.M. I'm so concerned about their welfare since the divorce. I want to tell him that I can't stand him, that he deceived our family, that he better not hurt my babies, but I know that he would only try harder to alienate the kids from us.

Huh? What do you mean you knew you could not divorce him ? Bought a house 2 mikes away from him ?? What is your role / responsibilities in this ?

@@nicholettej1742 we had too much property and money mixed up. I really never wanted another man so it was best not to divorce. We were ok friends, just not lovers? Why do you have a hard time understanding that?

Sounds like my mom

@@taraarrington2285 Sorry I didn't see this comment until now thanks to youtube. It's a difficult thing to deal with when those that profess to love you have very little problem destroying you. They never get better but I did find that cognitive behavioral therapy did help her for a while. So something to consider mentioning to your Mom if you are still in contact with her and of a mind to want to actually help her. Unlike people with this condition I have sympathy as this is a mental condition and not really their fault which only makes it harder when it comes time to cut them off completely in order to protect one's self from any further damage to your life. Good luck.

You are not alone. I keep repeating that pattern over and over again as well. Although when you are willing to heal that part and change the way you react or think, you will meet people who see that your attachment is healthy, not desperate or codependent anymore. We're in the same boat only I am 10_yrs younger than you buf age says nothing. Good luck to you.

@@stephanieveenstraThanks Stephanie, here’s to both of us choosing healthy relationships!

What’s SLD?

@@hfjjor3681specific learning disorder

Omg

Same! Mine was a family support worker 🥴 what a joke! Still it's scary how these people can play the empath and caring person to others? Although never with their own kids. It's too exhausting to play a part all the time, and we get to see the real them, lucky us! The insecure, needy bully that has already used us and half the time doesn't even want to pay us attention, because everything's all about them. They do everything for gaining supply and power and cultivating a positive image, which they work so hard at. (because it's an artificial construct and false image) and it's hiding all their unwanted and deeply repressed feelings of inadequacy and failure. The ego on them is ridiculous, and the narcissistic rage they suddenly spew out if contradicted or shamed (and anything can set them off) makes them a nightmare to be around. Still at work they get to play a part and these people are all actors , being a liar is second nature to them and they usually end up charming their way into any job, and even though it's performative probably in my mother's case, she will have been correct in her job, just because she cares about external reward, and how she is seen by others, but none of it will be coming from genuine altruism (that doesn't exist) people are just like chess pieces and she'll move them around the board to play the game and win,she would call that being objective! I would call it manipulative, but she would make all the right noises and do things according to the book, just to get ahead (which is what she did) worked up a pretty good CV and is now a civil servant (so the plan paid off). I blame social and family services as well though, because it's not only my mother, I have known quite a few evil ones, seriously why do they get chosen? Or is it that social and family work in general is not quite as benevolent as it seems? (And maybe people are just pawns to them as well and some just like having power over vulnerable children and adults? The same as they are in family situations then!) The mask being just that a false benevolent image that in reality doesn't exist.

@@Aprayerfortheloney THAT IS POETRY. Your so right.

@@djignatin4043 ❤️

I am a retired Social Worker. I want to validate your experience by sharing that some of the most dyfunctional people I have crossed paths with in my career were my collegues , Psychologist’s , and Therapists . I am not saying all of them , but the few Professionals I did encounter were memorable.

My son is married to one. As his parents we are now completely isolated. We are cannot get anywhere near our grandson. What little we know and see, our grandson is completely attached to his dad. My son is the primary caregiver. I don't think our grandson even sees other children. What can we do

I’ve seen it happen

And why does one have to be so wonderful... I don't get it. Still now. No one is even close to perfect so why do they want to be, as they also fail miserably though in the Home, outside they build connections of support for their narrative?

Yes I would like to know how to answer questions when the children are older. We seem like the villains for taking the children away, if it was safe we'd still be there! We have to warn our children without alienating the narc parent. Thankful for all your info Ross. I'm sometimes to exhausted to comment but always like/share.

Can't you show them any evidence you have of their behaviour towards you?

They don’t believe us anyway. Nobody does! The covert narcs I dealt with said if I said or did anything, they would make my life even worse. I’ve known other people who called out Covert Narcissists & got reported to the police (falsely) & got dragged through the Courts w/ multiple false accusations/ allegations & arrests! So sad!

Hey just wanted to see how things are going? Any advice on dealing with this? My son is 7 months old and I’m worried about what the next 18 years will be like.

Get out get away

One tiny quiet little step at a time until you are free to love yourself & your baby in peace , just stay as grounded as you can as you make your way to freedom slowly and quitely.

❤

Get out, Now! Keep his name off the birth certificate…

Please do everything you can to leave. Do it while he's out. Don't leave any forwarding address - Cut off all and any contact information. They do nothing but make your life hell. I sincerely wish you well 🙏💜💌