AMISH Woman "Sinned" by Taking Her Brothers to Court for SA

Рет қаралды 694,182

Күн бұрын

*Content Warning: Frequent mentions of child SA & r*pe among other forms of abuse & suic*de ideation*
Mary Byler’s story is horrific and shocking, yet one of the reasons she is being so brave in sharing her story, is because it’s not uncommon. The Amish are often romanticized for their “plain” lifestyle, yet people don’t understand or know about the sheer terror facing the women and children of these communities. Extreme forms of purity culture combined with a no-questions-asked “always forgive and forget” policy and “under no circumstances get the police involved”, create a perpetrator’s paradise where SA is more common than not. It is time we break the silence and break the cycle.
Watch Mary's interview on Soft White Underbelly Here:
• Shunned Amish Woman in...
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00:00:00 Intro
00:03:09 Mary's bann, explained
00:05:58 The victim-blaming and shaming Mary experienced
00:08:07 A young girl must be covered even while sleeping as to not "incite her brother"
00:09:08 "The Sacred Subjects" booklet series introduced young boys to beast**lity
00:10:09 Is it common for Amish boys to SA animals?
00:13:57 Do Amish girls know what's happening when they get their periods?
00:15:14 Was how babies are made ever explained to Mary?
00:15:24 TW: Child SA and R*pe
00:20:05 What happens when someone admits to the crimes?
00:20:34 TW: Child SA, R*pe
00:22:50 The Amish promise never to tell Church business to anyone not Amish
00:23:37 The various excuses the church uses when a*use surfaces
00:24:35 TW: Child SA, R*pe
00:25:47 Where is the autonomy for women?
00:27:45 TW: Child SA, R*pe
00:27:54 The case of the 3 Amish Bishops and an a*used Amish wife
00:30:33 Skewed narratives & Amish "branding"
00:34:30 Hierarchies within settlements- Families of status
00:36:29 How communities respond to the death of a parent
00:37:24 TW: Child SA & R*pe
00:40:00 PTSD: The details of confronting, then prosecuting her brothers, step father and mother
00:45:08 She didn't exist on paper- Trying to adjust to the outside world
00:48:37 What gives Mary peace, now?
00:54:38 TheMisfitAmish.com founded by Mary to help spread awareness
00:56:24 There's a higher risk for genetic disorders due to being Amish
00:59:50 She published a book!
01:02:34 Her advocacy and child safety work
01:04:26 Some of Mary's poetry
01:06:53 TW: R*pe- Her poetry towards her abusers & Linda, Listen
Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara
*Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.*

Пікірлер: 4 900

@katwitanruna Жыл бұрын

Break the silence. Break the cycle.

@angietyndall7337 Жыл бұрын

You should speak to females of Indigenous People here in the U.S. or across the globe and how females are invisible, abused, and yes murdered, and other issues faced by them.

@katwitanruna Жыл бұрын

@@angietyndall7337 You should make this a separate comment!

@maryscott9430 Жыл бұрын

Id live to hear more from ex amish. Id also love to see indigenous on to talk about abuse, racism, and murders in their community.

@adrianawalhout4675 Жыл бұрын

Wath a powerfull woman.....lots of respect for this lady❤

@katwitanruna Жыл бұрын

@@maryscott9430 You should make this a separate comment!

@buffystar3 5 ай бұрын

If the way a child is WALKING is sexual, that says way more about their twisted mindset than I could ever think of

@danitaharris9919 5 ай бұрын

Oh my God, I agree 💯. I don't think Mary realizes how strong she is and helping people get out of that hell hole. 😊

@doriangray7723 5 ай бұрын

Shit! Some men have been blaming women since Eve. Men who are inherently incompetent and threatened by another's successes tend to be the ones who do it. Men who cannot master themselves desire to dominate, control, or master others. Stay far away from these types.

@centuryfiles9558 4 ай бұрын

No child walks in a sexual manner! So true, people have twisted, disturbed minds and blame it on the innocent

@SmedleyWarIsaRacket 4 ай бұрын

This is not true! The amish are not sexualized like the Non Amish are. Grow up and think for yourself...Oh and spend time with the amish before you judge otherwise you really make yourself look stupid!

@SmedleyWarIsaRacket 4 ай бұрын

@@centuryfiles9558 Do you really beLIEve that? What is you proof, evidence, information that would allow you to conclude so??!?!?

@Gene-XL 6 ай бұрын

I first learned about Mary through her interview with Soft White Underbelly. I felt so profoundly protective of her then and I still do. I am awestruck by Mary’s strength, courage and innate human beauty. I hope Mary has found people in her life who love her and treat her preciously.

@tripeeblonde8309 5 ай бұрын

Me too - She’s quite the strong woman!

@bcatblues725 5 ай бұрын

Me too. And her interview blew me away. She’s so intelligent and awesome.

@MissyMuthaTruckiN 5 ай бұрын

Same!!! omg I cry with her!!! so proud of her for leaving! I also escaped strict/abuse, not as bad but not great either

@bcatblues725 5 ай бұрын

@@MissyMuthaTruckiN And the fact that she went after her brother is amazing because that had to be extremely hard for her. Remarkable woman.

@elizabethk6658 5 ай бұрын

I saw her, as well, on The Soft White Underbelly. I was touched so deeply by her, and l could just feel her pain and rage. May her voice be heard and children be saved by her story. Blessed Be!

@caitlankelly4367 6 ай бұрын

Her saying that she fell asleep on her dog for safety, really tore my heart out. If an animal knows that a little girl is worth protecting, why do her own family members need a weird book to remind them?

@themisfitamish 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for your kindness and compassion . ❤-Mary

@rebeccaspratling2865 5 ай бұрын

Well said! I wish I could reach back into the past and save that little girl. This interview ripped my heart into two. I have a daughter and cannot fathom this happening to her. My protective instincts are so strong with her because of my own childhood.

@kennyfupowers9111 4 ай бұрын

dogs are the best more loyal then 99% of people

@kathleengold2417 4 ай бұрын

I did that too

@blueStarKitt7924 3 ай бұрын

Yes.😢😞

@BellaFlayme 5 ай бұрын

I so wish KZfaq wouldn't block out the "abuse" word. It's like silencing all over again. It also makes it hard to listen to. I saw this lady's amazing story on SWU and she is so amazing!!!

@CraiiZeD 5 ай бұрын

They block out murder, suicide, rape, abuse, I assume for very young children to protect them, but as an adult viewer it does feel unsettling that these things cannot be properly discussed.

@GeekGamer666 5 ай бұрын

@@CraiiZeD Young children, and even older children, shouldn't have access to uncensored KZfaq videos, that's why KZfaq Kids exists (and parental oversight). The problem is that people report anything that has a controversial topic which leads to demonetisation and messes with the algorithm (preventing your videos from having the same reach). KZfaq isn't interested in actually looking at the reports and only applying consequences to people legitimately breaching the rules, they just punish anyone who's reported. Presumably because that would require spending money to hire people for that task.

@Zelda00Gamer 4 ай бұрын

@@CraiiZeDit’s because of advertising not children. “Wholesome” companies don’t want to be associated with “bad” words. I’m not watching this channel and then if a Tide commercial comes on I assume they’re promoting abuse or SA. That’s just incredibly low media literacy. No one really thinks the ads we’re being served tie to the video we’re watching??? That’s insane and dumb

@CRoo-zu5ij 4 ай бұрын

It used to be called "decency" and certain things are not discussed in mixed company. Now you have this....an onslaught of young people validating themselves through a variety of disabilities, disorders, and ho mo sexuality.

@theboyisnotright6312 4 ай бұрын

@@CRoo-zu5ijwell it was polite, but such things were just swept under the rug when they happened also. I'd rather have it discussed, perhaps a disclaimer so if it upsets you, you can avoid it. If it saves one child from that I would offend you every day and twice on Sunday.

@olympiaelda1121 Жыл бұрын

What is disgusting is that we as a society still tolerate this. "Its their culture"... "Its tradition"... "They have a right to their lifestyle"... Should they?

@RPruett78 Жыл бұрын

Even more disgusting when you see that the people inside religious communities who go around assaulting children under the banner of "their religion/culture/tradition", are usually the same religious people who want to pretend that the LGBTQA community is full of pedophiles and a serious danger to our children. 😵‍💫 The same people who continually go after the LGBTQA community's human rights and question their right to exist. As an aside, but on the same topic, when certain religiously minded people speak of the dangers of pedophilia, I always assume they are actually only worried about their sons. Because even today (when young girls aren't considered "old maids" if they aren't married off by *16* 👀) many among the various religious communities appear to have no issues marrying off their daughters well before the age of 18. Parents often allow their daughters (and some sons are also married before 18, though where I'm from in the Bible-belt those numbers are much higher among girls, and the boys that do marry before 18 generally are not marrying women who are much older than them) to marry a sovereign adult before they become sovereign adults themselves. When this happens these teenaged girls (and boys) cannot autonomously access a divorce, they must have a parent or guardian intervene on their behalf. Minors aren't supposed to be allowed to enter into legal contracts, but they do through the loophole of "parental consent" and therefore find they have no way to legally exit their marriage without the consent of the same questionable parent or guardian who allowed their minor to marry in the first place. Which often means that the minor is stuck in a nonconsensual sexually based relationship (often with an adult) until they are 18, because of the religion/belief system of the parent or guardian. But yeah, it often seems that pedophilia only seems to apply to one gender among too many people within certain religious communities. Edited a few times to try and clarify some things...one point being that I am not speaking about all religious people. Human history shows us that we've never needed the whole of any group to be involved for atrocities to occur.

@eugeniesh7285 Жыл бұрын

But tHeIr LiFe iS sO SiMpLe aNd nIcE (obvious /s). I absolutely hate this discourse under videos about Amish/Mennonites. If's it's a clear abuse against anyone, it should not be tolerated.

@Sochi314 Жыл бұрын

Ignoring abuse due to religion is excused. I feel like religion is more about money and control than "relationships with any god".

@justkiddin84 Жыл бұрын

Right! When someone comes here from another country and tries to force their daughter into an arranged marriage, or murder her for leaving, we step in and arrest them. But the groups like the FLDS or extreme Amish? Nah, it’s ok, they are white people following their religion. 😡

@59Schnauzermom Жыл бұрын

There should be laws that they need to go by. They just think they can do anything to their women

@KathyW5 Жыл бұрын

Mary, don't ever apologize for speaking with so much emotion. That emotion is what tells your story. That emotion is part of you and yes, you are enough.

@paperbark3754 10 ай бұрын

The pain and trauma that she displays breaks my heart. I hope she is receiving therapy to help

@soniaschafer7483 10 ай бұрын

Oh my Lord. She needs help, therapy. Her heart is screaming for compassion and love

@bradley244ify 10 ай бұрын

I wonder about genetics in closed groups. Watching this reminds me about the feeling I have that mormons have a certain look and carriage . Is that an illusion., some common cultural training or indeed something to do with a small gene pool.

@immerdienstags5853 9 ай бұрын

Why should she apologize for speaking with emotions?

@KathyW5 9 ай бұрын

@@immerdienstags5853 She apologized during the interview for speaking with such emotion. Of course she shouldn't and that's the reason for my comment.

@TheGbelcher 4 ай бұрын

Open letter to KZfaq and its moderators: Abusers don’t use the word ‘abuse.’ Only the people holding them accountable use the word abuse. Who are you actually protecting by flagging the word abuse? Who is actually being silenced when the topic of abuse is suppressed?

@CultstoConsciousness 4 ай бұрын

I agree. It has to do with advertisers who are willing to put their ads on videos. If abuse is said too many times, it flags it as “not safe for all viewers” which is what will limit the reach. It’s incredibly annoying, but all our guests agree that reach is more important than saying certain words

@taram9409 2 ай бұрын

Yes, 100% correct. It's annoying and disrespectful, the way they block it out.

@deniseendriss4649 Ай бұрын

@CultstoConsciousness thank you for explaining; I was wondering why these words are blocked on so many videos.

@Platypus2062 8 ай бұрын

They tried to shame her. They tried to blame her. they tried to intimidate her. They tried to make her disappear. And she didn't let it stop her. AMAZING WOMAN. In God's eyes you've exposed evil for all to see and now THEY will have to live with that. I'm sure there are Amish women tonight laying in their beds who are in awe of you, and who may be plotting their own escape from sexual abuse because of your brave example. Well done!

@bervamartin2784 5 ай бұрын

God bless u

@kizpaws 2 ай бұрын

Amen to that!

@christinecolon5472 Ай бұрын

what a strong woman. It is sad that they go after the victim not the offender. There are good and bad in every society. Unfortunately many people feel that the Amish have their own traditions and customs and choose to look the other way. I hope that those are suffering will get the help that they need to get away from this abuse.

@boobuglouisville3851 29 күн бұрын

Amén!!

@Liber-Tea 11 ай бұрын

"Just because I escaped and I reached safety doesn't mean that this isn't still happening today to children." We are with you, and our hearts hurt with you. ♥

@deannadelmar9863 11 ай бұрын

When I see children walking home from school, I wonder what they have when the walk into the doors of their “home”. I pray for them.

@elainedefoor8599 10 ай бұрын

The love of money is the root of all evil!! So, so true!!

@elainedefoor8599 10 ай бұрын

thank God for your emotions, thank God that you have come forward and stopped being silent!! Thank God for your courage!!

@leahflower9924 9 ай бұрын

Even when you're safe or relatively safe your brain doesn't always know it the rational part does but the unconscious part probably doesn't know

@francisfischer7620 4 ай бұрын

So deeply with each frightened child.

@theriffwriter2194 Жыл бұрын

It's long overdue that we differentiate freedom of religion from freedom to abuse. That old adage "your right to swing your arm ends right at the tip of my nose." That's the line. The moment your "rights" harm, even just potentially, they are void! It's one of the few things concerning religion that should be downright easy.

@justkiddin84 Жыл бұрын

Exactly!

@themisfitamish Жыл бұрын

Facts! LONG overdue !

@MalikaBourne Жыл бұрын

Long over due!

@jessicacharlton7347 Жыл бұрын

Yes! I'd say that your right to swing your fists ends at your childs nose, as well. People need to stop acting as if they own their children, and get to do whatever they want with them. I don't care if they are your children. That doesn't give you the right to abuse or neglect them, and your religious beliefs don't give you a pass either.

@HolldollMcG Жыл бұрын

@@jessicacharlton7347thank you! Children are people, not property. We have overwhelming scientific data showing that violence and aggression towards children is harmful, yet parents spanking or otherwise striking or shaming or belittling their kids is often ignored because "not my monkeys, not my circus" and the people who have the courage to tell off a mom for hitting her kid are themselves chastised for "mom shaming" or for being a busy body.

@snowdragon5187 6 ай бұрын

I came to this interview after seeing Mary on SWU. Her crocheting, dress and softspoken manner through difficult subject matter was made more compelling with the silence between her words. But her facial expressions told me there was so much more. This interview shows her in another dynamic light. All the best to Mary as she reveals her story. ❤

@pearlperlitavenegas2023 2 ай бұрын

what's SWU

@snowdragon5187 2 ай бұрын

@@pearlperlitavenegas2023 SoftWhiteUnderbelly. a great You Tube channel. Mary's interview kzfaq.info/get/bejne/pt9zi5iKnt3NkWQ.html

@katconlin2855 2 ай бұрын

Soft White Underbelly on utube or Facebook

@americangroupinternational6967 6 ай бұрын

I get it. I was abused by a pastor, and my ex pastor husband did nothing when I finally wanted to come forward. I left him and that community.

@Piggypilgram Жыл бұрын

When she mentioned her dog being her safety I felt that to the core. My dog was my safety she stayed with me through the abuse. That bond is like nothing else ❤️

@sarahstewart8571 11 ай бұрын

My dog... She was an outside dog and that saved her life so she could continue saving mine. I remember the abuse, but I remember her lunging and throwing herself against the door to try to save me. 32lbs and I know that if she had her way, she would have disfigured them. You couldn't yell at me or even raise a hand in pretend with her around.

@phoenixrivers5178 10 ай бұрын

💓

@user-cf8uf6vk7k 8 ай бұрын

I'm sorry but you people who relate to animals and your animal is your friend are just f****** weird, I really don't want to be rude but I got to say my opinion animals are weird creatures that don't process mental capacity like us and for you to be on the same mind platform as a dog is just insane. That's like saying you're a plant or something, dogs are friends with other dogs humans only keep dogs as pets for guards and just for something to take care of they are not our friends people are weird who think this

@crystalh9629 6 ай бұрын

I have seen Mary speak several times and every time I am blown away by her articulation and intelligence. Such a strong person. I have so much love for her.

@woodlandwonders6887 4 ай бұрын

Most people associate the Amish with tasty baked goods and fine furniture. It seems there is an unseen dark side.

@sheryelverton5372 10 ай бұрын

She confronted at least 4 people that day in sheer terror wearing a wire? Omg..shes a SUPER HERO!! SENDING HUGS AND KISSES RIGHT NOW! Bravest thing I've ever heard.

@aliciapatterson3357 5 ай бұрын

What is a wire? I tried googling it and I can’t figure it out.

@QueenJaneway 5 ай бұрын

a microphone @@aliciapatterson3357

@floriansailer7887 5 ай бұрын

A secret recording device is also described as "a wire."

@TheMargarita1948 5 ай бұрын

@@aliciapatterson3357 It is a concealed recording device worn on the body,

@lilyw.719 5 ай бұрын

@@4-Horses Agreed. Omg is using the Lord's name in vain.

@victoriaryanlpcpc8075 Жыл бұрын

Mary Byler is such a brave woman to let people know the truth of the Amish people. It sounds like a cult from which women and girls need to be saved. Thank you, Mary!

@kathyh.1720 Жыл бұрын

It's not a matter of being Amish; it's a matter of being a sinful human being. Bad things happen within church communities and in the secular world, both. Regardless of where it occurs (Amish, Pentecostal, Catholic, atheist, Darwinian, Hare Krishna, Mormon, paganism, what-have-you), it's wrong, and the perpetrators need to repent and get right with God, and the victims need healing and to forgive through Jesus Christ.

@miscalotastuff733 Жыл бұрын

No the perps need to be arrested and incarcerated. It isnt a matter of sin but breaking the law. The victims shouldnt have to forgive and apologize to the violators. Using sin as an excuse isnt acceptable. Clergy shouldnt be touching kids period. It shouldnt be accepted. Adults need to be taught a little thing called self control. This has to stop. No more using faith as a shield to protect sex offenders! To many boys and yes girls are children to are victims of sexual assault or rape.

@dobnerk Жыл бұрын

@@kathyh.1720 You sound like a part of the problem. You still don't get it.

@okkietrooy6841 Жыл бұрын

Not only the women and girls have to be saved. What happened and is happening with girls and women is awful. However, the males are raised under different but comparable conditions. They are taugth that they are superior to women, that they cannot control their urges. They probably also had no sex education, no names for body parts etc. This is asking for trouble when hormones kick in. Masturbation is probably a sin. They are taugth that women are responsible for the urges of men. I am not surprised that this can lead to bestiality and SA. They are also a victim of their upbringing. How many boys had to endure SA?

@forestcottage7321 Жыл бұрын

@@kathyh.1720 The perpetrators, need prosecution and the victims, free to leave and rebuild their lives. All the variant offshoots of the Amish, old, new, meionites, becheey or whatever are ridiculous. I don't think they know what's up or down, given they allow little education for men and women. My wish is that they are no religion as every one of them has a dark past and present, and this so-called good book, is all hogwash and full of conjecture and contradictions!!' Any religion, which condones, control, discrimination based on gender, abuse, and denying the right to education and choice, is an evil cult and needs to be dismantled and prosecuted!!

@WulfLord 8 ай бұрын

Why is not forgiving is a sin when Sexual Assault is not? From when was the daughter being pregnant shameful but shamelessly letting your daughter being raped is not?... Whatever cult they are from, they will get a special place in hell...

@patriciavanwyk4322 Ай бұрын

And why is sexual assault not only sinful but criminal? The law needs to become more involved with the Amish community.

@marciabarreto780 6 ай бұрын

She is a force of nature!!!!!! They messed with the wrong girl!!! She fought the law and she won!! Iḿ so proud of this angel!! She is so articulate and intelligent! She is pretty too! You go girl!💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

@rivershere01 2 ай бұрын

Force of nature is the perfect description!

@s.c.2424 Жыл бұрын

Mary, as a victim myself, I cried for you. Cried for the girls still stuck there who are in danger right now. You sharing your pain and giving us insight is everything. Amish girls are not protected at all.

@thepaganapostate3208 Жыл бұрын

It's not just the girls though. It can and does happen to Amish boys too... just girls are more often abused because of the lack of valuing girls/women.

@sherrycook1813 Жыл бұрын

Mary, I know that saying this won’t change what happened to you but I am so very sorry for your pain. It is so very obvious that you are still suffering. I hope you find peace.

@jenniferlorence1950 Жыл бұрын

Abuse like That should Not be tolerated by Society; and all in the name of Religion.

@tatertotsmomma8246 11 ай бұрын

i still vry and i am now 54 and mine happened at the ages of 6 to 12

@Sofia-qi7fw Жыл бұрын

I love how emotional Marys dialogue was, you could feel the anger, the pain, the strength she cultivated throughout her life, she is fully present and that is so beautiful

@jenniferharris7625 Жыл бұрын

I absolutely see the hurt and genuine truth that she just absolutely exudes.

@suziecheeseman3760 Жыл бұрын

So well put. She’s beautifully genuine.

@lindapearson8137 11 ай бұрын

Her pain is very real, but my heart breaks that she hasn’t been taught how to forgive for her sake! She can still tell her experiences that she went through but through Jesus she can be set free! I am going to pray she gets healed from the horrors she has been through, because this is going to eat her up! She is one strong woman!!

@ft7037 5 ай бұрын

@@lindapearson8137I completely understand where you’re coming from and I agree that forgiveness is for herself but sometimes we really need God to intervene in our internal emotional lives and change our hearts because some things are beyond a person’s ability, humans can only take so much and this may be her personal limit. I pray God settles her heart and provides her with what she needs in the most perfect way that only God can.

@LifeOfCandice 4 ай бұрын

That’s what I noticed! But also I love the switch when she started talking about her book, painting, her dress she made! She sounded so happy! Her passion is beautiful!

@domingopartida5812 6 ай бұрын

This interview has so much more to the story then her SWU interview. How she managed to get it reported and come out the other end given that everything was put in place to prevent her from having any kind of voice is amazing, pretty much all on her own.

@helyns1416 4 ай бұрын

Mary, you became the preacher you always wanted to be. You are speaking holy truth. Wishing you all the strength and healing and justice you deserve.

@martabright8956 Жыл бұрын

Mary's pain is so palpable. So much respect for her bravery and resilience. I hope she continues to get the support she needs to continue her journey of healing and thriving.

@CultstoConsciousness Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your support

@claires9100 Жыл бұрын

@@CultstoConsciousness btw. I admire your compassionate interviewing style. Very empathetic. Thanks for treating the guest with dignity.

@AuroraN. Жыл бұрын

Five minutes in I was already screaming and swearing. I am so heartbroken for Mary. No one deserves what happened to her. And thinking of all of the Amish women out there...wow, I don't even have words for how horrible it must be. It's hard enough to grow up a girl in "regular" society with the "regular" patriarchy. I can't even imagine the daily terror Mary must have felt. I hope Mary knows we are all here to support her and amplify her story. Mary is so brave and I am so thankful she is speaking out!

@sarahmoffett1296 6 ай бұрын

I have a friend who left a local cult about a year ago and just so happened that a family moved in next to them that are Amish from another state. They have decided to leave the community because their daughter has special needs and they were in "sin" for seeking medical help. Now my friend gets to teach them how to drive, get them some clothes, and help them out. It's so cool how God is using her since she can relate to their experience.

@SmedleyWarIsaRacket 4 ай бұрын

Not true! I know many amish with special needs children. They are not against seeking care.......This is an uneducated, ignorant reply!! Amish will travel outside the USA to get the specialized care they need. But the amish are apprehensive to "ALLOPATHY" a.k.a. as Rockefeller Medicine Men (Google the Book) How could you be in sin for seeking help? Again people THINK about this statement....How can you be in sin for seeking help? That makes zero sense which is why this poster is lying!

@gingerturner0000 Жыл бұрын

I'm from Lancaster County, PA, and whenever I tell people that, I see their eyes light up and they ask me about the Amish (no. I was not Amish but I knew several of them). I have witnessed them doing horrible things to their kids and animals. I have made sure to tell anyone who asks me about them that they're not as great as people seem to think they are. It's sick.

@sandythornton5552 Жыл бұрын

Women are equal.

@ReneeMaira 11 ай бұрын

My heart is sad 🙏 they sound just as horrific as many Middle East . My sincere prayers 🙏

@diem.fidelis9697 11 ай бұрын

Same -- my maiden name is a pretty prevalent Amish last name (and no. I was not, and my family were not Amish. Mennonite traditions are in my fathers background, and that's it.) Though I have never seen anything horrible happen, and there are people I know who are ex-Amish, who have good relationships with their families, my husband works with a lot of Amish and has quite a few stories to tell. In truth, this is just very upsetting. How could this all be happening, and our tourism still booming?

@doreenstodolski615 11 ай бұрын

They TREAT WOMEN LIKE LIVESTOCK,& In Humane Breeding of Animals esp PUPPY MILLS 😖

@angelasoucy3268 11 ай бұрын

I experienced the Amish while living in Southern Maryland and I was so shocked to know what they were really like at least in that area. Mostly is was the men that I saw doing really awful things. They smoked crack and meth, were extremely nasty and inappropriate with all women and had zero respect for anyone else. They don't respect life at all, they were very cruel to their animals animals, seeing them as possessions and not living being. That doesn't even touch all the criminal activity that they laugh about because they won't ever be held responsible. This woman really has guts!

@Gjigfvniyf Жыл бұрын

The willingness of this woman to show her vulnerability, and cry with rage at what has happened to her, has created the most powerful video from a cult survivor I’ve ever seen. This woman is so strong, I hope she knows she’s making an enormous difference by breaking the silence.

@catw5294 5 ай бұрын

Years ago I had horses and was talking with a female equine vet who was from Iowa and lived near a very large Menonite settlement. Her passion was draft horses and had gotten some of hers from the settlement. I do not remember the exact wording of my question as I was still under the opinion that these people cared well for their animals. However, I will never forget word for word the vets response back to me about how they care for their horses. This was her comment. With utter disdain she stated "...They treat them like they treat their women - not very well." That conversation was probably 30 years ago and I can still remember the vet, her facial expression as she said it, and the comment.

@sunnylilme 11 ай бұрын

To be honest. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to singlehandedly take on the patriarchy to a world I've never known ALONE. She is a big ball of courage. Her story is rare, eye-opening, empowering.

@laralaralara7335 9 ай бұрын

I believe that you could. Simply because you have the sense to go to that mental depth. you are honest with yourself and others. That is honesty,. and bravery. This is the stuff strength is made of❤ Much respect for you!

@harryjensen9090 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing man made religion really sucks ! So enlightening thanks .

@pannellclara 7 ай бұрын

you never know what you can do until you have to!

@eyesopen66 6 ай бұрын

Yes she is, it's an unbelievable show of real courage. Those saying like...Oh yeah you probably can do it? Or you have far more courage than you know etc... I don't think realise what it must take to do what she did? To take her family and way of life to court etc is unbelievable. Why do you think that this is so rare? When abuse is not. She's incredible IMO

@craigg5410 6 ай бұрын

There is no generalised patriachy. But within Amish communities id say so

@lynnfaulkner2706 Жыл бұрын

Its clear that the abuse Mary endured is still immediate for her, and while her voice is important and valuable, my heart hurts for her. I hope she finds peace.

@chrisroper2731 10 ай бұрын

Such a shame for the Amish to set themselves up as judge and jury and shun family members!

@bradley244ify 10 ай бұрын

Yes the abuse is live and real for anyone who has experienced it. That is indeed the point of it at least i

@bradley244ify 10 ай бұрын

The lasting presence and realness is the point at least in part. It is a very effective means of social control and dominance.

@dylaningle3113 8 ай бұрын

The hurt and anger is palatable. Very real. Makes me feel angry to.

@gabrielleallen8166 8 ай бұрын

"I'm sinng by sharing this outside the church" my mom was told this while she struggled to find me help. Mary you are so strong.

@fabiwilliams4644 4 ай бұрын

The only sin is those who hide their evil deeds & expect their victims to shut up & keep their secrets

@Eiri553 6 ай бұрын

I love how Mary is Crocheting while talking, i also do this & use it as a calming mechanism. Stay Strong Mary your story is important just as much as you are.

@pixiecakes1765 Жыл бұрын

I was SA'ed as a child. When i was in foster care, my case worker told me i couldn't possibly remember it, it must have been a dream. Meanwhile I had physical scars from it. I was told by my adopted parents, i needed to get over it. By my FSB church, i was told i needed to forgive my attackers or I was sinning, because god forgave me for my sins. Therefore the Christian duty was for me to forgive. One of my attackers was Mormon, ironically enough. My birth mom still wont admit to what happened to me. She believed him over the actual scars. I won't be silenced either. Because I've been told to get over it throughout the years, I'm desensitized to my childhood trauma. As a young adult when I was SA'ed, I felt like it was my fault for allowing myself in those situations. Now that I'm older, i know it's not my fault. It's ironic because when I told my birth mom about these incidents when we had contact, she told me I wasn't really r***ed because I wasn't black and blue with bruises. It was just non-consensual. For me, it gets easier with time. All of my childhood attackers are also dead, so that bit makes it easier for me. . Thank you for sharing your story with us. I don't mean to take away from your experience, but CSA is a pandemic in itself, and shouldn't be silenced. Ever .

@psychshell4644 11 ай бұрын

I believe you & am so sorry for your experience. You are so worthy and valuable.

@ceilconstante640 11 ай бұрын

My cousin Claire Fontaine, author of the 2006 NY Times best seller Come Back tells the story of how she walked in unexpected and caught her husband SA-ing their 2 you old daughter. She was going to court but learned the judge was fondling his grandchildren. She left with Mia with only the clothes on her back and changed their names. Years later in her teens Mia developed a serious drug addiction to try and escape the memories about what happened when she was 2. Forgiveness is for our souls. To forgive others as we wish God to forgive us our trespasses. But forgiveness doesn't mean forgotten.

@crazyfarm3073 11 ай бұрын

Thank you for telling your story. Big hugs.

@lisathornton8543 11 ай бұрын

@pixiecakes1765 God bless you stay strong and thank you 🙏🏼 for sharing your story. I hope you will be ok . Just remember your a beautiful person.

@juttadestiny6810 11 ай бұрын

Best wishes and love to you! 💜💚💙❤️❤️💜💜

@creatureencounters3897 Жыл бұрын

This woman is a warrior! The fighting spirit, the power of her advocacy for others, phenomenal human spirit that shines through.

@alabaster2163 Жыл бұрын

I was going to say the same. Her spark is brilliant. So inspiring! She connects the dots so well and advocates for others beautifully!! Keep going!! You are not alone!! Xoxo

@micheledix2616 Жыл бұрын

She is amazing

@keithmalone9706 2 ай бұрын

EVERY word, Mary Byler said, is the truth. I have lived close to an Amish group for 35 years. One went to prison for incest of 2 sons and others should be in prison.

@jennydw75 5 ай бұрын

I watched Mary’s interview on soft white underbelly the other day and then I just found her here on your channel , and I find her to be so brave and beautiful ! Thank you Mary for standing up to your abusers and being such a strong loud voice for victims of sexual abuse. You are an amazing lady ! Thank you !

@zoinks2607 Жыл бұрын

Shelise, I'm a therapist and I just want to say you have an incredible gift for empathy, understanding, and active listening. I believe you've mentioned that you've considered becoming a mental health counselor and while I want you to do what's best for you, I just want to say you would be INCREDIBLE as a therapist and a huge boon to our field. ❤

@DeniseWalsh1 Жыл бұрын

I am a therapist as well, and totally agree. :) She is a natural.

@robinminers8207 Жыл бұрын

I love her voice, it’s so soothing

@hmneill Жыл бұрын

Another therapist here, totally agree.

@sallyann985 Жыл бұрын

She sounds terribly disingenuous and condescending everytime she interjects. Her face reads that way as well. Not a style of therapy I'd pay for.

@emmettdonkeydoodle6230 Жыл бұрын

@@sallyann985Not sure why you’re reading all of that from her, but it sounds like you’re projecting some of your own feelings onto her mannerisms

@cynthiaworrell2188 11 ай бұрын

Dearest Mary: It totally breaks my heart for the horrendous abuse you had to live through. As a mother & grandmother, I could never have allowed my children to be hurt in such a heinous way! God bless you for telling your story. You are absolutely a strong woman & you deserve only the best in this life.

@Potato-fv9ns 10 ай бұрын

The Amish women and mothers and grandmothers are brainwashed and also have no power. They don't even know the basics of surviving outside their community. 😢

@Myrtle-nr9nb 9 ай бұрын

I, too am sorry, Dearest Mary for all you have been through. I am happy to see that you have come a long way, and can be happy and have learned soooo much! Keep doing what you do. It's amazing.

@octobermoon3594 7 ай бұрын

I’m not Amish or any of those other cultures I’m just a Hispanic woman learning more on how sick & twisted different religions are, I’m catholic & that religion has its fair share of sick & twisted things I’m so sorry you had to deal with any of that MARY GIRL! YOUR THE BRAVEST ROCKSTAR! OMG! YOUR STORY WAS HORRIFIC & MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU & MY PRAYERS TO YOU THAT YOU CAN HEAL & LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE ❤❤❤

@alexandrasophia24 3 ай бұрын

Why Child Protected Services should be investigated? The school board should be allowing Amish to get a full education. Time for some changes, and to have electricity as well.

@Mrjtoth1 Жыл бұрын

This was so hard to sit through but I felt that she deserved to be heard.

@sarahwright4104 Жыл бұрын

This poor woman is so emotionally scarred. My heart goes out to her.

@TruthAndLight4995 5 ай бұрын

When I lived in MD, we used to vacation in Lancaster, PA every year. The Amish lifestyle looked so idyllic. I used to fantasize of how wonderful it would be to live within a close knit community where everyone helps each other. Families owned land & lived debt free. Sure, there were limits on their education (especially for girls), but the people always looked so contented. I believed “the brand”. I’m so sorry, yet I salute you because you are speaking your truth. Living a lie is pure hell. True bondage.

@TheMarkCraig 3 ай бұрын

Mary is NOT a sinner. The Amish community are the ones who sinned against her. Never stop using your voice, Mary.

@lovelyladyguido 11 ай бұрын

I am 8 minutes in and already I see so many similarities with Mary to what I went through as a young girl. I was first molested at 4 years old by a step-grandfather. After my Grandfather died. Whom I was very close too. My real Grandfather was my only protection. By 5 years old my adopted brothers were molesting me. An Uncle full on R*ped me when I was 6. My Dad worked 60-70 hrs a week. He was Sicilian-Italian. Very Catholic. Extremely strict but I know he loved me. He told me when I was 10 that he chose me from all the other pretty baby girls. I was the bestest baby girl. As long as I was a good girl I would always be his bestest Daddy's girl. So I did my catechism- got A+ in every class. I did all my chores and there were many. I smiled and was pleasantl. Never complained. I went to my Mom about the brothers and she beat me close to death and threw me down the stairs into the basement. Where when my 5 yr old head hit the concrete from the fall? My skull was cracked 1/2 way across my right side and while knocked out there. Brain fluid filled up and that whole area was soft, puffy like a pillow and blue. My grandmother apparently came to visit and wondered where I was at? She went down to the basement called my name and I didn't answer and she found me on the concrete floor. When she picked me up she felt the side of my head and freaked out. She put me in her car and took me to the hospital. Where I was pronounced dead not once but, three times. Apparently my Dad found out. I heard his voice in a haze. The plan was for me to move in with my grandmother and when I after months of being in the hospital was able to speak my mind. I begged my grandmother to not let me stay with her because of Grandpa is doing naughty things to me. I told her about Uncle and I told her about my brothers. So she had Grandpa arrested. I never had to see him again. Unfortunately the uncle came around once in awhile but he wasn't allowed to go near me and neither were my brothers. My father would come to see me everyday on his way home from work he would stop by and see me first. Make sure all my needs were mad and that I was doing well in school and in church in catechism. When I turned 11 I was allowed to move back home. Sure enough that woman who called herself my mother. Did nothing to reprimand the boys for their bad behavior and within a week I was being raped again. I was afraid to speak out after that and at the age of 13 I ran away from home and I never looked back. To this day I do not trust men. I've been married once. He was the only person I ever trusted besides my dad and my first Grandpa. And wouldn't you know it I have three sons. Who were brought up to treat women like women are supposed to be treated. With respect, honesty, kindness and love. I might not have been Amish but, this horrible expectation of women and small girls of religious Families can be quite controlling, demeaning and even disturbing. Mary is a champion. God I'm sure is proud of her and the role she has had cast upon her now.

@themisfitamish 11 ай бұрын

I am honored to hear your story. You're right then business no bounds And there are overlapping similarities in many abuse cases. -Mary

@yvettealford999 9 ай бұрын

I am astounded by little girls who have lived through & survived these experiences yet grow up to be fantastic mothers. Your mother sounds like a selfish selfcentred coward undeserving of having children or family. You are a special person

@donnaarmour4614 9 ай бұрын

I glad you told us everything and I pray you get the mental help you need

@lovelyladyguido 9 ай бұрын

@@donnaarmour4614 it was 50 years ago. Of course I had counseling. I was just matter of fact sharing my story. Honestly rude for you to imply that I am needing mental help. I am a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthnatition for 30 years. Maybe you need mental help lady? Would you like a number. I'm an advocate and mandated reporter.

@MartenKrueger-sx4me 9 ай бұрын

Where did the step- brothers come from?

@PlasmicPenny Жыл бұрын

This one was one of the hardest ones to watch. Not only because of how horrific it is but the palpable emotion. I’m glad that she keeps telling her story to hopefully save others but I can’t imagine how hard it can be and difficult to relive.

@Velvet_Whisper Жыл бұрын

I felt the same way. I actually clicked off but came back because I felt I owed it to her to listen to her story because she putting herself and information out there to help of victims some may not even be Amish but relate to the ab**e she suffered.

@TheEvie202 11 ай бұрын

Much respect to her for sharing her story.❤

@michellegroskey7991 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for NOT shutting the fuck up!!!! You’re amazing!!! Keep speaking up!!!

@rakkooni3221 8 ай бұрын

I am so horrified for the suffering Mary had to endure. I also want to say, the things she said at the end of the video were so incredibly comforting. Thank you for the beautiful encouragement and advice, Mary!

@suziecheeseman3760 Жыл бұрын

Mary’s story was so hard to hear. The anger and pain are still so palpable. I wish her continued freedom, safety and healing.

@bubbles0216 9 ай бұрын

I've never wanted to hug a stranger so badly in my entire life. Mary, you are a gift, and I'm so glad you're out and still fighting to get others to safety. ❤️

@jenniferschmitt7938 5 ай бұрын

Why is the word abuse blocked out? Does KZfaq see that as some sort of a curse word? I have heard many curse words on KZfaq. If we are not allowed to say the word abuse. People need to learn about sexual abuse, child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse. The word abuse should not be blocked out

@alexandrapedersen829 29 күн бұрын

It is because KZfaq views the word as unfriendly to advertisers and is therefore likely to automatically demonetise the video, which ensures it will be supressed by the algorithm. The same thing happens to videos with queer subject matters.

@angelaharbison4251 7 ай бұрын

I can see why they sought to silence you; you're far too intelligent, compassionate and beautiful!! We're glad that you belong to the world with the rest of the good people out there!! You've reclaimed YOURSELF! And know that you are beautiful and brilliant!! Don't stop sharing your message, love and hope to this weary world, luv!!!

@themisfitamish 7 ай бұрын

Thank you for your kindness and compassion. ❤Mary

@aceshigh5157 Жыл бұрын

Mary has been through so much, and it's a miracle that she was able to persevere and get to where she is today. She's truly inspiring.

@themisfitamish Жыл бұрын

Thank you for the support

@MistyMcLane7985 11 ай бұрын

For Sure.

@jessemegfreckles Жыл бұрын

Mary, you are valuable, intelligent, kind and so incredibly resilient to continue to stand up and say no more. I'm so sorry that you were not protected and were so horrifically abused and terribly abandoned by your family and community. Never shut up!

@johannabezuidenhout4252 10 ай бұрын

Mary smile when the sun come up we all must rise and let the light shine on you. Be blessed you were perfectly made and love by one great person and that's the everlasting God!! ❤

@jenniferwolford7205 6 ай бұрын

I'm only 10 minutes in, and already I know I love this human!

@Kerphooey 2 ай бұрын

Love to Mary.

@vickitee7105 5 ай бұрын

You can just feel the trauma this woman has been through.

@avoinwonderland Жыл бұрын

I’ve watched nearly every episode of yours now, and lots have gotten me feeling emotional but this is the first one that truly made me cry. When she said “I was a baby” I really had to stop and breath. Thank you for opening up and sharing your story Mary. I cannot imagine reliving your trauma all the time. You deserve nothing but love and safety in your life 💜 everyone does.

@CultstoConsciousness Жыл бұрын

❤️ thank you for sharing

@savannakrakauskas1834 Жыл бұрын

The same line got me. I have a 6 year old daughter. I had to pause and cry for a moment

@jennamoshes1184 Жыл бұрын

I’m here because I paused … ❤

@kellyalves756 Жыл бұрын

Her anger honors her righteousness. Thank you for articulating it, for yourself and all other children suffering from abuse.

@irenestrmnss4496 Жыл бұрын

@@CultstoConsciousness just have to say you look so much like my mum when she was young. And also you look like young Demi Moore. Guess you have heard it before. I live in Norway 🙋‍♀️🌍your video was very good and interesting, but sad too of course. But Mary is great and brave and strong. She needs all the support can get. And other girls and women like her.

@Katie-hh9eu Жыл бұрын

America has a serious problem with letting these abusive cults continue. I understand the freedom of religion, but there should never be the freedom to abuse in the name of your god. This story was heartbreaking and Mary is so awesome for not allowing her abusers to get away with their crimes. I hope other women and children that are in the position she was in, see this story and know that they can fight back and understand that forgiveness is something that should be earned, not something that is mandatory to give to get into heaven. If you can't forgive, that is okay, some acts are unforgivable.

@lindasoderberg9477 Жыл бұрын

This is true but when one is raised within one of these closed communities the options are not taught nor understood.

@MalikaBourne Жыл бұрын

@@lindasoderberg9477 Well stated.

@BeautybyJemyjoan Жыл бұрын

And they can’t be “saved” because they’ve been taught you’re the evil ones.

@MalikaBourne Жыл бұрын

@@BeautybyJemyjoan Yep. And from whose perspective? From the "Englishers" or the Amish? Or the Pentecostals or the Muslims? The Catholics of the Protestants? The Christian or the Atheist? Each of us are convinced that our thinking is the only true and perfect way of thinking until we change our minds. Or until we learn a more productive way of doing something.

@ankiking Жыл бұрын

Men will support men…

@jamilamathis2763 Ай бұрын

I’m disgusted and blown away about the part when they blamed the wives of these sickos because they turned out to be sickos 😒

@SE-gy3gh 5 ай бұрын

That moment when her pain turns into a huge smile and her sense of pride shines through when she speaks about her accomplishments! 🥰 I love it! You are an AMAZING person....never look back. You are a beacon of hope for so many people.

@janetdavis6473 Жыл бұрын

My heart breaks for this woman, what a horrific story! Twenty years later and she’s still obviously experiencing trauma when she shares her story.

@JGLy22086 Жыл бұрын

This kind of trauma doesn’t go away. She is doing her best to heal from it by telling her story. I respect her so much for this!! Male supremacy has been handed down for centuries. I believe the Bible was written to protect the prerogatives of men! I left the Baptist church because of it! I raised my son as a feminist and he will tell you that! Men who are so fragile that they have to prove it are pitiful! Good for her! I hope she continues with her work!

@stephjezo6470 11 ай бұрын

You never really have trauma go away. It dulls.

@janetdavis6473 11 ай бұрын

Unfortunately , many men over the centuries have completely misunderstood what the Bible tells them to be like. Christ tells a husband to love his wife like Christ loves the Church, giving himself up for her, even to the point of death. A man who lives this way will NEVER be abusive, or treat women like possessions or second class citizens. The Bible was written to teach us what God our Creator is really like. You can’t judge the Bible based on people’s illiteracy of the Word of God. Please don’t give up your faith because of men’s poor behaviour. God is good, gracious, kind, long suffering, merciful, but also stands for justice. Abusive men will have to give an account of their behaviour before Almighty God one day.

@junebrilly5302 11 ай бұрын

@@janetdavis6473sorry, but the blaring problem is religion itself. The cruelty.always, is the point

@seedsoflove7684 8 ай бұрын

@@janetdavis6473amen

@sarahspencer9360 Жыл бұрын

This woman's story breaks my heart. I admire her strength but grieve that she has had to be so strong. I'm with ya, sister.

@xyzforum 7 ай бұрын

Mary, I feel your rage and pain. The most damning thing this level of abuse creates is the isolation - inability to express and be seen as a victim. The fact that her own home and community refused to see this act as ungodly and unquestionably wrong is enough to break someone. Taking on the task of having to tell people over and over and over again is hell. I truly hope Mary finds peace in allowing her soul and body to recover this horrible abuse. She deserves to live without the memory of this and the freedom to freely feel joy as if it never happened. It’s an incredibly difficult path and I wish so much for Mary to be happy and free.

@suethornton2055 Ай бұрын

A fellow Jw here. You are an amazing person. I left when I was 34. Baptied when I was 16. I've been free from them for 16 years. I had to move 1500 miles away to really be free. I didn't know anyone, and I started a whole new life. Keep speaking!!! I speak out about the horrible things that they continue to hide.

@steff9041 Жыл бұрын

She is right. This abuse exists in every group. Wealthy, well educated people are just as likely to abuse children as poor, not so well educated people. I have never been able to understand those who run cover for the abusers. In the media, the medical field, in churches, in my own family. Exposing abuse is what is needed in order to stop it.

@MalikaBourne Жыл бұрын

Fear is what makes enablers of abuse "run cover". One can lose everything you know that is your life-line. Bonding and shunning are very effective controls. I don't know about enabling in the Amish beyond bonding and shunning, but ins the groups that are more "of the world" this is effective as well. Often the abuser have a number of stories and versions going. Some people may see "him" as a saint. while the victims most likely loved bombed and groomed o on good days - but as the painful devil does on other days - no one believes that " a saint' has a bad bone in their body - they are beholden for the gifts one side of the "man" gives. It is about survival. Abusers manipulate.

@Volleyball_Chess_and_Geoguessr Жыл бұрын

Different mindsets produce different results. I never experienced anything like this anywhere near me.

@Volleyball_Chess_and_Geoguessr Жыл бұрын

@@MalikaBourne It's enabling to think you're unforgiving if you don't let it go on.

@MalikaBourne Жыл бұрын

@@Volleyball_Chess_and_Geoguessr What am I missing? Can you clarify, please? "It's enabling to think you're unforgiving if you don't let it go on." don't want to miss your point.

@Volleyball_Chess_and_Geoguessr Жыл бұрын

@@MalikaBourne The Amish/Mennonite mindset seems to be to instantly forgive and this is Christian, and repentance is not part of this!!! So abuse continues and the victim forgives and never speaks of it again or they didn't forgive, and if they do, then they are the bad ones. Victim blaming, and enabling abusers.

@pamelaibarra790 Жыл бұрын

You can feel her pain as she talks. Its not just "matter of fact". Talk about brave. Keep fighting Mary! You are a savior to amish women and girls who are trying to get out. ❤

@dennisbentson823 2 ай бұрын

So an 11 year old girl is supposed to in charge of her own safety around the grown male adults that should be her protectors but prey on her instead. Shame on them!! Shame on that community that protects the men but not their daughters . How in Gods name do you tell a child that her walk is the problem ?? I am so sickened by the men in the Amish Community. They have failed their religion and their children. They have no honor!!!

@manymany-vo2ep 6 ай бұрын

I came after soft white under belly , I couldn’t express how much I respect this woman ❤

@emeraldthunder1245 Жыл бұрын

SO well done, Mary. “Do not go quiet into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” (Dylan Thomas) You don’t have to apologize for talking about the hell you went through with emotion. You are not too much. Scream your story to the sky! We are listening❤️🔥

@callenfive 10 ай бұрын

What a great human being!

@callenfive 10 ай бұрын

All of your feelings are valid!!!!! Your emotions just show your passionate fight for right!!!!!

@bernice4599 3 ай бұрын

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤️

@helen.sissyjones2245 10 ай бұрын

I am not from Amish, but I was beat by my father,and called a liar,when I came forward,my mother didn't believe me 25 years later when I spoke of my sexual abuse. Very proud of you for your bravery.

@themisfitamish 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing and your solidarity. This is sadly an unacceptable and yet familiar story. You didn't deserve that. -Mary

@rosalindr4975 6 ай бұрын

Can relate, but it was a creepy grandfather. We were so young, nobody thought about sexual abuse , apparently. I became an alcoholic and got help for that in my late 20’s.

@kathy4349 5 ай бұрын

It's easy for your mom to call you a liar because the pain of admitting she married a monster AND didnt do anything to stop it is a life sentence. Pray for her.

@rosalindr4975 5 ай бұрын

@@kathy4349 pray the programming breaks & lean on Jesus.

@bbybby91 3 ай бұрын

I’m born and raised in rural south central Pennsylvania, people here know what goes on in our neighboring Amish communities, but nobody ever speaks about it.

@clcoxvp 6 ай бұрын

Mary is incredibly brave and articulate. She's grown in her comfort zone since her Soft White Underbelly interview, which was raw, beautiful, but so hard to watch. Crocheted the whole time to stay regulated....like a champ.

@janetklumper6048 Жыл бұрын

What i find to be common in so much different cults is that they treat woman very badly. They have to be submissive, have a lot of children and when something goes wrong, it is always on the woman, i find that very disturbing.

@dnfi5480 Жыл бұрын

What I find even more heartbreaking is that this is true even of cults led by women...

@justkiddin84 Жыл бұрын

@@dnfi5480 Maybe even especially those. The men abuse the women and push the men down in some ways. The women do all of that to the women so that the men are only for the leader. Narcissism is the common key, though. And it keeps all the other folks imprisoned.

@annemurphy8074 Жыл бұрын

It's massively disturbing.

@MalikaBourne Жыл бұрын

One does not have to be religious or in a "cult' to be an abuser or a victim. Individuals need to be taught better ways of communicating what they want as well as need to learn to respect the boundaries of other living human beings. I'm not bashing the Bible - but, if you look at the cultural history of bible times in the world as they knew it - women and children were property to control. In some cultures in the Middle East, Africa t or Asia, women and children do not enjoy the modern laws we have in the US. The people in those countries/continents may look at Americans and see undisciplined spoiled brats because we have laws to not beat or rape. When older order Amish have to travel or go to town, I cannot imagine how frightening it is to them when they see the way some people dress or behave? Who is better or worse in the eyes of God or the law? I think this is a conundrum with a fine line.

@JessNV Жыл бұрын

One if my best friends was raised Amish. She left her husband and the community because he would r- her with objects, it was so hard for her, they gave her so much shame and guilt. Amazing friend and person, just riddled with ptsd from all her experiences. Crazy stories, like being shamed for making her own dress with front buttons as a kid, was then told she was making it easier for men to undress her with front buttons. So bad.

@forestcottage7321 Жыл бұрын

That is sad. I hope you offered to help your friend get free of the abuse?

@lorriefinley3129 11 ай бұрын

@JessNV Please suggest your friend locate a therapist who treats PTSD with EMDR. Mary mentions this in the podcast. I've used it too and it is a very effective treatment.

@bernice4599 3 ай бұрын

Omg 😢

@KaylaJoySmith 5 ай бұрын

Mary, I have listened to this interview four times. I have made my own family members listen. I have repeated much of the information you have discussed in this video with all of my friends - because there needs to be more awareness of the harm that is happening currently in so many of these religious sects across the world. THANK YOU for using your voice as an instrument for change. THANK YOU for every moment of depth and emotion in your voice - it’s beautiful and needed in this dark, dark world. You are so valued.

@CultstoConsciousness 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for your support and for sharing it with others ❤️❤️❤️

@marshmallow1488 8 ай бұрын

Patriarchy is a lie of religion to control women. I applaud you so hard, Mary, for breaking free from your abusers. Much love to you. 🫶🏼

@rebeccalicmo-an8956 4 ай бұрын

Mary is a phoenix. Continue on what you're doing. You are an inspiration.

@carolmoger9869 Жыл бұрын

I am 72 years old. Thank you for sharing the truth. I am a survivor, a "black sheep" in my family. The biggest wounds were devaluation and spiritual destruction. I won't let them tell me who my God is who he says I am!

@freyabaade2810 Жыл бұрын

I have never felt someone's anger as much as I felt Mary's. Ordering her book right now... I'll be honest, I don't know when or if I'll have the strength to read it, but whatever support I can give, I will. Thank you, Mary, for speaking up. For not leaving the narrative in the hands of men. For being here with us. For putting yourself through this to help give a voice to those without.

@themisfitamish Жыл бұрын

Thank you for listening to hear as well as the understanding and compassion.

@kramer66 6 ай бұрын

Escaping is hard. Im so glad she did. And thank God for her website and booklets. Proud doesn't even come close to describing how i feel about this woman

@amygalvin1799 4 ай бұрын

Keep speaking out Mary. You’re helping so many victims. I’m so sorry you went through this. Thank you for being so very brave. ❤

@joannepitre723 Жыл бұрын

What a brave woman. It is so difficult to believe there is so much evil in the world. Never be silent Mary, let your light shine in the darkness. You're amazing.

@mtuggle1184 10 ай бұрын

Has anyone checked in on Mary since the podcast? Her emotions are so raw here (and rightfully so)that I can’t help but wonder if opening up these traumas over and over again is safe for her. I know everyone copes differently but I still can’t help but be concerned about mental health aftercare for people who have been through such atrocities. Much love and respect for Mary and all she has done and is doing!

@themisfitamish 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for caring. I don't re-open these without a safety plan for me. I am a-ok. ❤❤❤-Mary

@zion28able 10 ай бұрын

Yes

@Queencrazy1997 10 ай бұрын

@@themisfitamishit's you! I just want to say to you that you are so brave for not only what you did going in with the wire and going to court, but continuing to be so open about it to this day. You are a survivor. I hope more people escape the abuse of that community.

@SuperReznative 10 ай бұрын

I hope she can return to Jesus in love & understanding relationship, not the controling religion. His powerHoly Spirit can help her heal heart and soul. That I pray ., sincerely.

@elizabethhoopes6747 9 ай бұрын

❤

@cj2507 2 ай бұрын

How beautiful you are Mary (inside and out). What makes you most beautiful is truly your voice. Thank you for continually using your voice. That makes me smile. And for helping those who are terrified to share their voice. Your remarkable transformation is creating a portrait of beauty in our world. Perhaps one day others will be brave like you and take the first step toward freedom. Bravo!!! 👏🌷🌻🪸🦮💎🦋🕊️

@SounderMom31 5 ай бұрын

Mary Byler is a true inspiration. Such a strong, powerful lady. Much respect to her for what she has overcome and is still in the process of overcoming. Sending healing and strength to everyone who needs it from Germany. ❤

@hfortenberry 10 ай бұрын

I LOVE that you gave her a platform to express herself here. This work is sooo important.

@anitajohnson381 6 ай бұрын

Please verify what Amish Colonies she was part of. This is very important. She said she spoke high German. Mennonite and Amish speak LOW GERMAN and a Dutch Language

@jessicacharlton7347 Жыл бұрын

This woman is so fucking strong. Leaving everything you know is already hard enough, and takes a whole lot of bravery and strength. But it takes even more strength to be able to go through everything she did, tell the police about it, go back with a wire and confront the men who raped her, then go to court and tell her story again in front of the community she grew up in, knowing full well how she'd be judged by them. I don't think I'd be strong enough to do all that if I was in her shoe's. This woman is truly incredible, and I wish I had half of her willpower, strength, and courage.

@catherine1886 6 ай бұрын

I respect her righteous anger and concern for the children left behind. Her own mother, was she raised Amish? She was have been raised being raped too?

@alexish8183 2 ай бұрын

This is my second time listening to Mary’s story. The first time (on SWU) I could tell she was holding back so much emotion. To see her angry and at times tearful is so powerful. You and your guest are so incredibly brave and I love the way you hold space for your guest. Your compassion and understanding allows them to really open up.

@michellesartori6695 11 ай бұрын

As Mary was talking about the lack of sex education within the Amish community, I was reminded of a story that I read about an Amish couple. The husband visited a type of allied health provider outside of the Amish community as his wife had not fallen pregnant. The health care provider asked several questions and then asked for a sample of his essence to send off to test for sperm motility etc. However, when the husband returned from the bathroom with his "sample", the health care provider was shocked to discover that the husband had urinated in the container instead and the cause of the wife's infertility was discovered! The husband had been peeing on his wife believing that this would lead to children. What a world to live in and no wonder that they were childless.

@KyanUganda-yh5bc 10 ай бұрын

Omg

@HighDollarHobo 9 ай бұрын

😂 that's wicked funny 😂

@hopecrishom5836 9 ай бұрын

Wow

@lenitaa7938 3 ай бұрын

Or more likely , he misunderstood what the health provider wanted!

@shimmerbear60 Жыл бұрын

The pain she has suffered is unconscionable and her courage and love for others is stunning. I pray for all the best for her.

@rheamiddleton7580 5 ай бұрын

This girl is a FIGHTER! She has NO EXCUSES and makes the best of her life! ❤

@ginkgobilobatree 6 ай бұрын

I, to this day, (I'm 73) remember and resent a kid who kicked me in the shins in 2nd grade or something, that I was told to hold hands with and forgive, rather than him being punished for attacking me. I can't imagine being in Mary's position over and over again. UGH!

@mess4success Жыл бұрын

Mary's story is horrific and heartbreaking. Watching her light up talking about her life now was wonderful. I hope more victims find their way to safety. Down with the patriarchy!!!

@VALGAR0609 Жыл бұрын

I reported I abused by my stepfather got 21 years. My mother did not believe me, and he was a deacon. you are so strong. It's hard enough when you have your family behind you. But when you have to stand alone it takes all the willpower, truly you understand what it really means to persevere.

@karensiegel6669 11 ай бұрын

21 years was not enough.

@tcl5853 3 ай бұрын

The depth of her pain and trauma is heartbreaking. God bless her.

@Thingys-Jill 5 ай бұрын

NEVER shut up. God Bless you for speaking up. My heart breaks for you and I just want to reach through the screen and give you a hug. It's so horriffic that so many of these fundamentalist cults/religions are so much the same and get away with atrocities under the umbrella of religion. I wish you healing.

@StandwithMirriam Жыл бұрын

Sometimes when the victims relive their stories it’s been a little hard to really feel the depth of the pain that was inflicted on them. We, other victims of any abuse, know the pain was way more than most can verbalize but Mary had a way of being so vulnerable that I can FEEL her pain. I wish her nothing but love for her bravery to continue telling her so very raw story to raise awareness and to save more kids.