"Kids 4 and under can't handle this much disappointment." Absolute masterpiece of a line, thank you angry australlian man

I feel sorry for the kid that asked for a laptop for christmas and got this

As far as computer themed toys for children go, that one is actually pretty neat. The working mouse is a treat. I have this weird thing, though, where I will notice some little charecter and wonder who drew that. Wonder how many people actually take the time to notice it. My daughter definitely never talked about the cute cartoon mouse playing soccer on the frame of the electronic soccer net toy, yet someone made that charecter, and it was printed on a sticker to put on the toy. So seeing those animations really hit that feeling hard. Someone made them, likely only for this one toy. I wonder how many people had ever seen them before today.

NOOOOO I remember getting a laptop exactly like this and I was so excited to get my first computer. I was a kid so I didn't realize how tiny the screen actually was until I opened it. I tried very hard not to look disappointed in front of my aunt. I played with it once and got bored of it.

Ashens, LGR, and Dankpods all in one. Perfection.

Thing is... My parents bought me one of these (The previous generation) when I was like 3 and I ABSOLUTELY loved it. I could spend literally hours upon hours doing God knows what and just learning stuff. It even taught me how to multiply, and I still have it somewhere in their place. You could even attach a printer to it through a prehistorical serial port. Besides, one of the activities was a bunch of National Anthems played with that crappy 8-bit like sound. I think that's why most of my little friends of that time ended up with migraines or voices in their heads. Thanks for the memories, Wade. Thank you a lot.

Fun fact, the company behind this made a Barbie themed version, and it has an audio in jack. The speakers (yes there are 2) are decent and surprisingly not mono. So you can get really fuzzy distorted audio if you so wish

6:37 "Use the arrow keys to choose a melody AND BREAST CANCER" wut

The nugget classification has extended to the laptops. Can’t wait for airliners to be called nuggets.

As an Oregonian, I'm proud that we were able to make the worst laptop that Wade could find

6:53 “press any cheese to make us follow the beat”

The graphics on the caterpillar game during the last half minute of the video were pretty good! True story: When I was a kid, I wanted a laptop so bad that I would take a piece of cardboard and draw my own keyboard and screen, then carry it with me on the school bus and pretend to use it. I also had a cardboard HiFi so I could listen to music.

I remember a friend in 6th grade was always bragging that he had a laptop (this was when the 3310 still reigned supreme). One day I went over there and it was one of these things. He made it out to be like a gaming laptop better than most consoles at the time... I acted like it was the coolest thing I've ever seen.

This reminds me the V-Tech laptop I had as a kid. My most clear memory of that laptop was putting in the gutter after a big rainstorm and letting the current carry it down into the storm drain outside the house.

I love that Wade always shouts out Ashens when he can.

from embedded system developer perspective it’s quite astonishing that it’s really has a working mouse! i’d like to see the screen being cut replaced with real 14” laptop screen with its gut stripped replaced with raspberry pi.

I like how he's got so many patrons now that he has to talk for a while AND scroll really fast to get the credits in. Proud of him.

Petition to put the mousepad over the ipad to protect that poor little thing

I love how they use Star Trek Sounds for nearly every single menu item. Beautiful.

I had a toy laptop like this when I was younger, and seeing this made the nostalgia hit so hard. I paused the video at one point and spent SO LONG looking it up to see if I could figure out which one I had. I couldn't find it and honestly it just feels like a fever dream that I even had it to begin with. I am pretty sure that it was made by Vtech, because those are the only ones that look even remotely close to what I remember. It had a ton of games and activities on it, and a tiny screen like this one. I honestly wish I still had it, or could, at the very least, find it online to prove that I actually did have it at one point lol

Aw man this brings me back. I used to have a janky, barbie-themed learning "laptop" just like this one with the huge bezel and everything as a kid. I loved it so much.

I don't suppose James could (carefully) tear this down at all? I'm dying to know what CPU this thing has.

Funnily enough, I had a similar device when I was younger. For christmas one year, I think I was 4 or 5, my parents got me one of those desktop-style learning computers. It had many games that I liked playing with, but I remember just how tiny the screen was. Oftentimes I wouldn't turn it on and just pretended to be an office worker in my bedroom. I was a strange kid but I loved it to bits. I remember, the monitor itself had a black bezel with all the games listed and a super simple little screen in the middle. There was also clear plastic that wrapped around the monitor. The keyboard was black with white keys and the mouse itself was solid black. I can't for the life of me remember the brand or model, and i've got no clue what happened to it.

Can it run doom?

I love how the mouse uses an RJ45 plug. It’s like the manufacturers picking out which one to use were like, well they are both used in computers. The USB uses too much metal. That too expensive.

It sounds to me like some of the sound effects are stolen from Star Trek: The Next Generation, but being destroyed by the terrible speakers. Like when you go through the different choices on the main menu I’m pretty sure that’s the transporter sound effect, and I heard some game bleeps that sounded specifically like the bleeps of the ship’s computer (edit: it’s the doorbell, I’m such a petaQ) in that show.

I remember having something like this when I was a kid... back in the 90s. Based on the Vtech wiki/fandom page, it was the PreComputer Power Pad. I more or less learned basic Basic through it, and spent most of the time when I had it just on the Basic function.

What kills me about the bezel is the fake icons, and the fake scroll bars around the screen LMAO 🤣🤣

I remember having a VTech toy laptop when I was young. Until I broke it with a pencil. Ah. Childhood.

I had a Hot Wheels version of this with the exact same software, the only difference is that it had a really cool speedometer built into it

imagine showing up to a lecture with this and blasting it full volume

7:36 yo is that the doorbell from Star Trek TNG?

I had this exact same laptop as a kid, this brings back fond memories, used to play with it all the time :) At one point I even tried plugging in an actual Ethernet cable into the mouse port, connecting it to a router, to my disappointment it just periodically emitted a warning sound :)

I love how they used Star Trek TNG transporter sound effects for scrolling between menu options right at the beginning at 04:55, did anybody else pick up on that? And then Halo button sounds later on, this machine really was ahead of it's time

I have a similar laptop made by Clementoni, that was pretty heavy and had both a serial and a parallel port, and has also a document editor that saved text in RTF. It has a mouse with a similar RJ connector, that I then spliced with a PS/2 connector and used on my following XP pc. Apparently, the mouse port was able to accept also internet connection up to 10-BaseT.

3:00 such a smooth sound.

Holy shit, as soon as i saw the tiny screen i recognized it. I was given one of these as a kid, mine was blue and had no mouse but it was the same system. I LOVED it, even if neither me or my parents could understand english, i still remember when my cousin took it from me and i was forced to "share" it with her (aka just give it to her), but gladly my grandma hid it as soon as she got bored and gave it back to me. That cousin ended up getting a pink one with a mouse and making fun of me. Good memories

As someone who grew up with a bunch of these things, I can tell you that the huge bezel does not bother me whatsoever LOL! That's pretty much the norm of these. I still love these laptops because of their charm! I hope someone makes an app emulating these toys or something, that would be pretty nice! If there's a Speak & Spell app, why isn't there an app for these toys?! And no, this is not the worst laptop ever. This was just what I needed, awesome video!😁👌

Well,It looks more like a toy computer,I thought it would be the world's worst laptop,but until I clicked this,it's a kids toy laptop! 7:01 is that frank? Cuz you said "junklin".

6:42 was I the only one who understood breast cancer? 😂

I was wondering what was so wrong with it... then I saw just how little was actually screen

I had a Vtech kids laptop when I was a kid that was really similar to this. Had a bunch of games on it and a notes app, and for some reason 5 year old me played with the notes app more than anything. Almost all the games had this little character called Perry Penguin and he was basically the mascot of the laptop. It was in color too, but still only on a screen with about 100 pixels in total.

I think I had a Vtech laptop like this as a kid! I remember it being pink, with a smaller bezel (by only 50%), a higher-resolution LCD, and having an ABCDE keyboard instead of QWERTY, which is a terrible idea for trying to teach a kid computer skills. I know I played with it a lot, but I don't remember exactly what I played on it, since it had a large game catalogue similar to this.

3:26 Ethernet mouse.. yeah totally sounds fine.

9:00 the most pixelated mouse in existence

Wade, I have had a very rough week at work, today especially. Watching you yell at a laptop that is 50% bezel made it all worth it.

That janky voice saying "COM-PYU-TUR" at 9:19 would actually be a sick sample for a techno song or something.

9:27 As a duck myself, I can indeed confirm that was a duck.

9:15 "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

I had a similar piece of crap except worse, as a little kid, needless to say when I got my grandmothers old windows 7 laptop I was thrilled to have it, even though the battery didn't work, I was so happy to finally be able to have something actually fun to use, that actually played youtube videos

7:12: Apropos that the drums in Yankee Doodle sound like rapid gunfire.

I swear the sound at 7:20 is the star trek transporter sound 😭😭😭

I remember having something a lot like this that was Batman themed. Had the same janky screen and all of the number codes along the bottom of the screen to show you how to access the games and music. Kinda brought back some fun little memories.

I actually owned one of them as a kid, not the same exact model (mine was designed like a modern laptop) but the same software with the same oversized bezel. This takes me back.

Omg... I had one of these but it was coloured yellow and blue, I don't think it was a hotwheels but the colour reminded me of it. The one you have is honestly impressive compared to mine....which says just how disappointing the one I had was.

You have godsent content. Been watching this channel for ages.

One must think that Frank is happy being the way they are.

I am wondering why this computer has super bit-crushed versions of Star trek sounds...like the transporter or the doorbell. Very interesting?

I had one of these and I actually really liked it! The noises are so nostalgic

Oh lordy, Tualatin Oregon. I think back when I was in high school a few of these were still in my schools attic. It gives off the vibe of something made to help teach elementary school students learn some basic typing skills.

didnt know there was non "kid flashy" themed versions of those kinds of toy laptops back in the day fascinating!

5:35 Oh no. They tried to make a rhythm game. Now they're going to get sued by Konami.

I remember that brand. They made a lot of stuff that looked high tech but once you got the box home disappointment was all you got. High prices too. I think they were in Dick Smith shops....

i had multiple toy laptops of this caliber, including what i think was the first version of this one! i legit had so much fun with these things and i still pull them out every few years for nostalgia lmao. also love to see my home state represented through garbage like this, it's great

I mean, in 8:34, the animatronics *do get a bit quirky* in this computer 😂

the fact that it actually looks like a real computer from the box is even funnier. also I've had a few Oregon scientific products over the years and i gotta say that usually they're pretty good

This video unlocked a memory. My friends sister got one of these for Christmas. I think she booted it up for about 30 minutes and never touched it again.

I got one of those (or something extremely similar) for my kid when he was like 3 because he always wanted to be on my laptop while I was working. 100% would recommend! Perfect distraction and it kept him from wrecking important stuff! Good memories, thanks for the flashback!

That's _definitely_ an unlicensed sample of the TNG transporter sound effect scrolling on the menu. The way the chord modulates down in amidst the schwooshy texture is identical. Specifically sounds like it's from one of the movies I think. Kinda ballsy on their part ngl.

Had one similar like this. It was from vtec though. Loved it as a kid!

I currently have a tablet with a keyboard and the keyboards on button is on the opposite side of where it is on this keyboard. It is up where you would expect the delete key to be.

i had a hot wheels themed version of this, and it even had an optical mouse. i barely remember anything about it, but i had it when i was 5 in 2009. about 7 years later, my younger siblings got something shockingly similar, but under the discovery channel’s branding. i’ve even still seen these things sold at discount stores (like dollar general and big lots) here in the us.

When Wade uploads to DankPods it always brightens up my day just a little

When he said “huge bezels” I first thought those black side rails were the bezels and thought that’s amazing for its time. Then he pointed out the gray area is all bezel.

I had something similar to this as a kid, it was like an intro to the keyboard and had educational content. I actually have fond memories of it

3:09 this laptop would go great with the giant nano mp3 player and the Tim Horton's netbook

4:21 when you're losing an argument

I immediately thought of Ashens when you cut to the sofa. I'm so glad you referenced him. One of my heroes.

i had one of these as a kid !! this is so nostalgic, i used to love this when i was a kid

I genuinely had one when I was 5 or 6 I remember usining it every day it was a blast. I almost forgot all these gorgeous sounds from my childhood. Thank you for bringing back all these memories

i remember these fake laptops for kids. Usually they where more toy looking. can't imagine the poor kid that got this one genuinely thinking it was a laptop at first.

I have a similar one somewhere, but from Lidl's store brad SilverCrest, it uses the same mouse connector, also takes 3 AAs and the screen is just as tiny, and probably does the exact same things. Also that thing has a headphone jack in the back, mine's is in the right side.

I wonder if this was a thing in other places but, in the us, we used to get these awful paper magazines that advertised stuff to like, really old people. Coins, WW2 stuff, war documentaries, knickknacks, “military grade flashlights”, and old old terrible laptops. Like, 500$ for a really bad win XP in like 2012. You should try to find some of those bad Bois !

9:24 - ✨ So much grace in so few pixels~! ✨ Good ducks - even *somehow* fitting a cute lil smile in. ^v^

i had one of these as a kid. granted, i was like 2, and my nugget was significantly less featureful, not even a backlight, but it was what made me get into tech. so much nostalgia.

The one that I had that was similar to this when I was a kid in like the early 2000s the top part was shaped like a face with headphone on. That's where the speaker was. Also that means it wasn't rectangular shaped. The keyboard was in alphabetical order and definitely not like a real computer at all. This thing was purple and white with orange or yellow keys if I remember correctly. So definitely not a leapster

I actually had one of those when I was a child, tho mine came with a dpad where the trackpad should be. Honestly, that nugget gave me the best childhood memories.

Honestly, I can see this being really good as a niche tool to help kids learn. It teaches them bare minimum tech literacy (navigating menus, using a keyboard), exposes them to basic vocabulary... It's swamped today, and definitely outdated by 06, but I feel like this had potential.

Can't believe the nugget realm is extending to the point of having laptops, Great work!

I had something like this in the nineties... so this was waaay outdated the second it left the factory. Though mine didn't have a mouse, instead it was a weird mini joystick thing in the middle of the keyboard.

I had a blue and yellow thing like this. The mouse was attached to the "laptop" and only had a "track wheel", which means you could only move the cursor right or left. The keyboard was stiff af, and the keys looked like the ones on a cheap calculator, and you had to press real hard to type anything. I was like 6 years old, and the fast typing game scared the shit out of me, because it made a loud BEEEEP when you let the letters fill the screen.

Man I had one of these as a kid. I loved it. This unlocked a ton of memories for me. As a dumb little kid, this thing was so much fun.

It’s giving me moms “we’ve got laptop at home energy” 😂

Oh, I had one really similar to this as a kid! Around the same time too, I think. In retrospect I can recognize this was digital garbage, but at the time I loved it. Coming from a family that couldn't really afford a brand new computer for the kid (and being that I was like, eight at the time) I think it actually did a pretty great job at removing the mystique from computers before I ever got to use them at school :) This video brought back some good memories!

I had one of these from like 2000 when I was super little. I remember the animation that played when you had to spell TIGER was terrifying.

I had a similar laptop to this when I was little. Unfortunately i don't remember the brand, but it was red and yellow and was a bit more basic compared than this, as it was intended for 5/6 years old (but some games were quite similar). The synth voice was in my native language (portuguese). I literally learned to read at 4 years old thanks to that little nugget, and it definetly paved the way for the tech passion i have today. Who knew that the worst laptops could unlock some of our best memories... Thanks Dankpods, amazing as always.

The moment I saw the box it brought back some memories Not sure if they’re good or bad though

I love the Ashens callback and I instantly thought of him the moment you went to the couch lol

I like that one of the sound effects was the sound effect for door chimes in the next generation and voyager

Oh hey, I remember stuff like this showing in the toy stores ads! The mouse cursor actually moves pretty smoothly considering basically non-existent screen resolution:) I'm pretty sure that menu sound is just the transporter sound effect from Star Trek: TNG, or possibly ripped out from some ST game- and with audio quality stomped to the ground:) Speaking of, pretty sure confirmation sound in programs (Games? Apps? _Experiences?_ Whatever you want to call them) is a off-key door chime from the same show:D