David Holthouse on Confronting Childhood Abuser, After Once Plotting to Murder Him

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PowerfulJRE

PowerfulJRE

3 жыл бұрын

Taken from JRE #1646 w/David Holthouse:
open.spotify.com/episode/4Uxb...

Пікірлер: 1 100
@josephhertzberg2734
@josephhertzberg2734 3 жыл бұрын
I have a close friend who did this same thing. He had done some time in the penitentiary previously for an unrelated crime and he plotted his revenge on his abuser. His steparent had raped my friend and his sister as children. His mom was already dead and had left the guy long ago. His abuser was a member of a 1% motorcycle club. My friend is no stranger to violence and he was going to kill the guy and call the cops and wait to be arrested. He was ready to do the time. He was fully prepared and brought a gun and a knife, as he wanted to stab the guy to death to make the kill personal. He went to the house knocked on the door and his wife answered. They talked for a long time and the guy died of cancer 6 months previous. He had also raped her daughter, and he talked to the daughter, who was 19-20 years old. Everyone cried, and that was that.
@aqualust5016
@aqualust5016 3 жыл бұрын
@Dawn Of The New Evil Age no that’s bullshit. People choose to be evil. We are all exposed to right and wrong.
@dom3073
@dom3073 3 жыл бұрын
@@aqualust5016 I believe it.
@fairwarning007
@fairwarning007 3 жыл бұрын
@Dawn Of The New Evil Age I... I just can’t. This is so unbelievably fucking stupid.
@valentineeater3597
@valentineeater3597 3 жыл бұрын
I will never understand why mothers choose to expose their children to monsters like this.
@aqualust5016
@aqualust5016 3 жыл бұрын
@@valentineeater3597 choose? Is that a bad troll?
@MFJoneser
@MFJoneser 3 жыл бұрын
Abused men are more common than society admits. If we can drag this hurt out into the light, discuss it, we disarm it..
@edp3202
@edp3202 3 жыл бұрын
And boys/men being anally raped is humiliating and debasing and emasculating.
@jamesnightingale2788
@jamesnightingale2788 3 жыл бұрын
@@edp3202 and kinda gay
@Rawdiswar
@Rawdiswar 3 жыл бұрын
This comment right here. IMHO you nailed it.
@jonathanbrooks9768
@jonathanbrooks9768 3 жыл бұрын
Such a good comment, yet a human cess pool of a reply section
@Rawdiswar
@Rawdiswar 3 жыл бұрын
@@jonathanbrooks9768 😳
@jopo7996
@jopo7996 3 жыл бұрын
David showed amazing restraint not hurting or killing his abuser, and ruining his own life.
@zackhayes1268
@zackhayes1268 3 жыл бұрын
@KLEOS fuck you and your stupid book you’re trying to sell
@ZeroFucksLeft
@ZeroFucksLeft 3 жыл бұрын
@KLEOS Don't advertise in the comment section man
@gurgleblaster2282
@gurgleblaster2282 3 жыл бұрын
While I whole heartedly agree with the sentiment. It doesn't solve the problem. Punishing someone after the fact does not deter the behavior in the first place. We need to stop stigmatizing victims. Male victims in particular are especially vulnerable to stigma. When boys start acting different after something horrific like this happens they often get bullied become isolated and avoid getting the help they desperately need. Because of the shame they feel. Its easy to say punish the pedos. Its apparently hard for people to just not call people faggots etc. when they don't know the person they are calling a fag might have actually been raped. (I am not suggesting they victim is gay just that homophobic slurs are often used as insults which can adversely effect children who were raped by same sex perpatrators).
@THOMASCOLTON1
@THOMASCOLTON1 3 жыл бұрын
Should be an amnesty on victim revenge against pedophiles all the way up to murder
@enotdetcelfer
@enotdetcelfer 3 жыл бұрын
@KLEOS "be kind" then don't spam
@EndGameEnt
@EndGameEnt 3 жыл бұрын
I too was raped as a child and perhaps that's what made me feel so weak for so many years. I had crippling depression for 21 years and as a man, most people don't give a shit. In fact, during the me too movement, I was told to stay silent by countless people.
@jeann2264
@jeann2264 3 жыл бұрын
So sorry! Peace be with you and stay strong.
@julieberry27
@julieberry27 3 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry that happened to you. 💔
@EndGameEnt
@EndGameEnt 3 жыл бұрын
@@jeann2264 thank you for the support. Time makes things easier.
@EndGameEnt
@EndGameEnt 3 жыл бұрын
@@julieberry27 thank you for the support. People like you two make moving on more manageable.
@JEBavido
@JEBavido 3 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry to hear you went through that! I was sexually abused as a child and know how debilitating it is.
@PincheeAlee
@PincheeAlee 3 жыл бұрын
Considering how common child sexual abuse is... I'm really glad this story is being talked about on JRE. Survivors need a model of what it looks like to heal... especially men. This dude is a great example.
@zakkmylde1712
@zakkmylde1712 3 жыл бұрын
There is no such thing as healing when it comes to being the victim of sexual abuse. There is only coping. It's been 15 years since it happened to me and no amount of therapy, talking about it or ways to work past it have worked. When you are abused something is taken from you and you never get it back, it's always going to be gone and you will always remember what happened. It's not the kind of trauma anyone can actually heal from, there is only healthy coping.
@myrtle1234
@myrtle1234 3 жыл бұрын
There is healing and forgiveness in Him. The day I decided to auger down into forgiveness and never turn back, He opened my eyes to the five hundred years of slavery, adultery, alcoholism, occult practice, pornography, and drug and sex abuse that lead up to what happened to siblings and me. Jesus stopped it with my house. My kids have never been exposed to one second of one iota of that shit. I’m no holy roller either. There is just one way out of the destruction and that’s through Him alone.
@kitty10141
@kitty10141 3 жыл бұрын
@@myrtle1234 you did that sir, please at least partially give yourself credit
@ey3z4ya
@ey3z4ya 2 жыл бұрын
​@@kitty10141 facts.
@Muffinadventures123
@Muffinadventures123 2 жыл бұрын
Doesn't sound like he forgave or that he healed. I think it's nearly impossible to do both in this case. And that's totally OK. I think he was just finally able to tell his peice and get his revenge without landing in jail.
@haze1123
@haze1123 3 жыл бұрын
Heartbreaking how common this is. The absolute worst side of humanity.
@DrunkSince1973
@DrunkSince1973 3 жыл бұрын
Just think humans are suppose to be civilized. Yet are worse than animals.
@tmsact
@tmsact 3 жыл бұрын
Common is an understatement. It happens every nine seconds! Wrap your mind around that data for a second! Don’t believe me, do your research. It’s absolutely disgusting!
@dd-nk4jw
@dd-nk4jw 3 жыл бұрын
or just make it ok to put bullet in the heads of people that do this
@tmsact
@tmsact 3 жыл бұрын
@Tyler B #2 are you serious. Try every nine seconds!
@gAYCUNT-zt3qo
@gAYCUNT-zt3qo 3 жыл бұрын
@@tmsact ur taking that statistic way to seriously...
@chilliwraslin2510
@chilliwraslin2510 3 жыл бұрын
It's been a while since Joe had some real shit like this, stories like these are fascinating to hear.
@66549111
@66549111 3 жыл бұрын
yea man enough with all these famous ppl that talked for hours but with nothing to say
@afatasimatai
@afatasimatai 3 жыл бұрын
he just had on the Lone Survivor.......
@beautifulwithbrain8827
@beautifulwithbrain8827 3 жыл бұрын
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@beautifulwithbrain8827
@beautifulwithbrain8827 3 жыл бұрын
kzfaq.info/get/bejne/e854iN1827a8dmg.html
@TheSmilodon85
@TheSmilodon85 3 жыл бұрын
Mhhmmm the dark that you get sucked in...
@LClaypool
@LClaypool 3 жыл бұрын
Wow. As a man that shared similar childhood event, Afraid of the day I admitted I had also "planned" to my therapist, I was so afraid they would report me. God this is so real to me. So, sorry this happened to you brother.
@freetime2freeminds
@freetime2freeminds 3 жыл бұрын
I'm glad you didn't do it tho. And that you are here.
@LClaypool
@LClaypool 3 жыл бұрын
@@freetime2freeminds thanks for the kind words man.
@Zyborggian
@Zyborggian 2 жыл бұрын
So they didn't report you?
@kaos01
@kaos01 3 жыл бұрын
You can tell this man has a good heart.
@KennySouluer
@KennySouluer 3 ай бұрын
It’s crazy poeple go through shit like that and still choose to be compassionate
@KennySouluer
@KennySouluer 3 ай бұрын
I think that’s what makes human so special there ability to suffer
@KennySouluer
@KennySouluer 3 ай бұрын
Look at the likes of Carl Jung and Friedrich Nietzsche those guys had that dawg in them
@Megaman.ExE7
@Megaman.ExE7 3 жыл бұрын
I don't care what anyone says. It really takes a lot of gut to talk about being raped. That shit is traumatizing, especially as a young boy
@douca1
@douca1 3 жыл бұрын
It follows you your entire life.
@ianwinn7578
@ianwinn7578 3 жыл бұрын
Oh hell yeah. This shit haunts the guy every damn day but he tells it because it helps other victims come forward.
@TheMrsBeagle
@TheMrsBeagle 3 жыл бұрын
And yet people think people tell their stories for "attention". It's horrible, and it never leaves you.
@timboslice8559
@timboslice8559 3 жыл бұрын
I’m not saying it’s worse being raped as a guy as opposed to a women, but when it happens to a man it just strips any manhood away from him that he has...
@Megaman.ExE7
@Megaman.ExE7 3 жыл бұрын
@@timboslice8559 It's not just you. I think most people agree with that statement. Not to discount anyone's experience. But there's obviously this cruelty to a male's experience that makes it more terrible than anything else
@mark2tech
@mark2tech 3 жыл бұрын
I like this guy. He’s super chill even when talking about these subjects.
@joech1065
@joech1065 3 жыл бұрын
It is really honey for the soul to hear how comfortable he's talking about it, because it transfers on some unconscious level that he indeed processed it all and this is past.
@IkesPimpHand
@IkesPimpHand 3 жыл бұрын
The media never cared about men. I could go on and on but i am emotionally and physically tired.
@TheWilfred63
@TheWilfred63 3 жыл бұрын
@@vanessabeauty5112 what the fuck is this?
@joshmurray1261
@joshmurray1261 3 жыл бұрын
The media doesn’t care about anyone
@TheSmilodon85
@TheSmilodon85 3 жыл бұрын
Facts 💯 they don't give a f you have to be a man suck it up...
@yankeepirate6039
@yankeepirate6039 3 жыл бұрын
Not only do they not care, they are actively working to destroy traditional masculinity, largely through destroying femininity in women.
@machinediem4717
@machinediem4717 3 жыл бұрын
@@joshmurray1261 Dont bring that strawman ass response into this. If you've ever watched the news, especially in the last 4 years, you can see exactly who they care about.
@LodisVlogs
@LodisVlogs 3 жыл бұрын
He’s not a victim he’s fully in his power and his story will help others. Thank you Joe!
@vanessabeauty5112
@vanessabeauty5112 3 жыл бұрын
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@mr.x8948
@mr.x8948 3 жыл бұрын
Spammed
@Laveleshkumardeepak1341
@Laveleshkumardeepak1341 3 жыл бұрын
3:11 ɪᴘʜᴏɴᴇ 12 ᴘʀᴏ ɢ.ɪ.ᴠ.ᴇ.ᴀ.ᴡ.ᴀ.ʏ ʙʏ ᴀᴘᴘʟᴇ ❤️😘 ..👍 Clickhere : kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ap-dqtdn2J-ZkY0.html !💖🖤❤️今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね!1万人を超える人が見ていたもん(笑)やっぱり人参最高!まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,. 💖🖤在整個人類歷史上,強者,富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落,氏族,城鎮,城市和鄉村中的弱者,無`'守和貧窮成員。然而,人類的生存意願迫使那些被拒絕,被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式,並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。. 說到食物,不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反,他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔,切塊,調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類,在食品市場上被忽略的部分家用蔬菜和肉類,並且學會了使用芳香的木煙(如山核桃,山核桃和豆科灌木 來調味g食物煮的時候1 1620473639
@straightgrizzzly7879
@straightgrizzzly7879 3 жыл бұрын
No way in hell that dude was the only one - you gotta put these perverts out there in the public so others don’t suffer man.
@viking_nor
@viking_nor 3 жыл бұрын
What do u base that on? Not the only one? Wtf do u know about that? Lol
@TxxT33
@TxxT33 3 жыл бұрын
@@viking_nor regardless, they should be brought to the light to prevent further abuse. Abusers prey on the weak, if they have another opportunity they will probably take it. Also people generally follow patterns, nothing happens in a vacuum.
@artvandelay3840
@artvandelay3840 3 жыл бұрын
@@viking_nor Dude, it's not like trying a new food for the first time. You think he just got it out of his system? He definitely has more than one victim.
@ianwinn7578
@ianwinn7578 3 жыл бұрын
Actually, David does name the guy in his follow up article "Outing the Bogeyman" on Anchorage Press which he did as soon as he found out the guy had other (alleged, sigh) victims. I'd post the link but can't because I'm in Europe and they won't let me. Check it out, it's chilling and very well written. He's a brave and righteous and tortured dude. I wish him nothing but peace and success.
@marla-singer
@marla-singer 3 жыл бұрын
@@artvandelay3840 EXACTLY!
@djspike969fm
@djspike969fm 3 жыл бұрын
So sad and painful to hear how so many people get away with abuse.
@gidge34
@gidge34 3 жыл бұрын
Happen to me and I carry the guilt and shame to this day and I’m 50 and it happened 45 years ago. Much love to all❤️
@douca1
@douca1 3 жыл бұрын
I finally forgave my abuser after 50yrs. Don't carry the shame & guilt. Do the next thing. Forgive the person and move on. Your life will be so much better. God bless you.
@yzettasmith4194
@yzettasmith4194 3 жыл бұрын
I found that reading The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk helpful, maybe it would be for you.
@gidge34
@gidge34 3 жыл бұрын
@@yzettasmith4194 thanks you🥰
@markosimonovic9160
@markosimonovic9160 3 жыл бұрын
@@douca1 i am just curious, not to be rude or anything but how do you forgive something like that?
@oompaloompa9139
@oompaloompa9139 3 жыл бұрын
@@gidge34 the guilt and shame belong to the abuser, always. It is not your shame and not your fault. Place the blame where it belongs, on the abuser only.
@Garrus1995
@Garrus1995 3 жыл бұрын
Kudos to the guy for being able to rise above what happened to him. I was never molested or anything terrible like that, but as a kid I did receive some emotional/psychological abuse that saw me go to therapy for a few years. It’s hard to move on sometimes because why should a person be made to suffer if they’ve done nothing wrong?
@nolanolivier6791
@nolanolivier6791 3 жыл бұрын
Both of my parents were violently abusive. My mother was basically an emotional wreck because she had been trapped into marriage and children with a man she didn't even want to be with, so she would act out; it was erratic and unpredictable behaviour, which manifested as physical and verbal abuse. My father was different because I realised quite early on that he enjoyed beating me. By the time I was 13 he started to become afraid of me, so it largely stopped (he's a complete coward). I've forgiven my mother because I realised that she was almost as much of a victim as I and my brothers were. She was barely more than a child when she had me and she didn't deserve to be forced into parenthood. More than that, I realised that she is sincerely sorry. My father has apologised but I cannot forgive him because he has yet to convince me that he is truly sorry. I know he is motivated out of fear. When I was 17 I called him out and his response (utterly devoid of self-awareness) was to threaten to call the police. That's how much of a coward he is. I had basically put it out of my mind until 2 years ago, when one of my brothers committed suicide. The crazy thing is that even after that, I still don't think he feels any genuine remorse. I've never been raped, but I think that an adult beating a small child is somewhat similar to rape because the child is completely powerless; the child has no recourse but to beg and scream, and in the course of that the child becomes aware that the adult is provoked to greater violence by their begging and screaming, their expression of powerlessness. It's an awful experience to realise that your father enjoys inflicting pain on you. And the worst part is that you're somehow the one who feels guilty in the end because you think you're actually being punished. I've thought about beating my father many times. But I can't bring myself to harm a weaker person for no better reason than my personal gratification. Somehow I would be left with the guilt.
@Garrus1995
@Garrus1995 3 жыл бұрын
@@nolanolivier6791 I’m very sorry for everything you had to go through. Stay strong and be a better person, not only for yourself but to prove to your abusers that you didn’t let them win.
@firehorsewoman9255
@firehorsewoman9255 3 жыл бұрын
I worked with a guy who made the most disgusting sexual comments to me. When I fired him for it he begged me not to tell anyone in our circle what had happened. I told him that I was going to tell absolutely everyone. I said he should have thought about that when he did it. I have never regretted outing him. I did it to protect anyone who might come in contact with this guy in the future. I wanted to get the word out about him. I also knew someone who, while they were working with a guy, listened to him make all kinds of sexual comments about his step daughter. When the two of them got back to the office the guy I knew outed the pervert to everyone. He completely humiliated him to anyone that would listen. The guy quit the next day. Always out them. Always. Strike quickly and mercilessly. It's the only way to protect others who have no idea how dangerous this person is, and puts terror into the hearts of these monsters. Predators look for victims that will accept their excuses, believe their lies, and give them second chances. Anonymity is their only protection. Remove it and you remove ability to operate. Never think you have destroyed their life. They destroyed their own life. Never be afraid to be the first one to speak up. Even if you feel you won't be believed, you'll increase the chances of the person that comes after you to be believed. Be perfectly comfortable knowing you were the one that brought on their demise
@SwissMarksman
@SwissMarksman 3 жыл бұрын
💯
@canttReid
@canttReid 2 жыл бұрын
Wow, so brave😂
@Logan_93
@Logan_93 2 жыл бұрын
This comment is cringe
@garrettsaulnier2651
@garrettsaulnier2651 Жыл бұрын
You have obviously never been a victim of assault.
@paulgreengod
@paulgreengod Жыл бұрын
@@Logan_93 found the nonce
@bigchiefsmackaho387
@bigchiefsmackaho387 3 жыл бұрын
My abuser died in a car accident when i was 8. It was a family member and because he was also young (11) i never told my family about what they had done. I just had to sit with it for decades until a friend opened up about his abuse as a child. To this day he is the only person i really talked with about it because i feel like all it would do is cause undue pain to his parents, whom i love very much.
@douca1
@douca1 3 жыл бұрын
You have a kind heart.
@simonpepper9721
@simonpepper9721 3 жыл бұрын
They?
@DavidMcNeal-fg9bd
@DavidMcNeal-fg9bd 3 жыл бұрын
I have a very similar story. Almost exactly like his. I have grown to the same level of comfort talking about this in my mid 30’s and I think it’s great to hear someone else sharing their own story so publicly. Victims have to be able to talk openly about the trauma they endured in order to take that power back. My abuser had almost the same response when I confronted him. I also agree that I have not forgotten or forgiven him... but I won’t carry the weight of hating him. That’s too much weight to carry and will only lead to a destructive lifestyle.
@DavidMcNeal-fg9bd
@DavidMcNeal-fg9bd 3 жыл бұрын
If anyone reading this has some skeletons locked in their closet and needs and ear, don’t hesitate. Start a conversation and get that weight off your shoulders. If you have nobody to talk to about it, I will share with you my stories and listen to yours.
@ottoweininger8156
@ottoweininger8156 3 жыл бұрын
@@DavidMcNeal-fg9bd you're a good man. I wish you all the best.
@georgecoull1883
@georgecoull1883 3 жыл бұрын
When it happened to me I was 9 . I told my mother because I was afraid to tell my dad. The man was found dead at his home of an overdose. No my dad didn't do anything.the guy was dying of liver cancer and was facing 7-11 year's in prison for rape of a girl and 2 other boy's . Only charged for 1 case. I'm 37 with 2 kid's and I'm super overprotective of them and held them back on doing thing's, so this is still affecting my life to this day. These people should be castrated and sterilized
@thizzguy1018
@thizzguy1018 3 жыл бұрын
It's hard George, it truly is. Good luck my man.
@jeann2264
@jeann2264 3 жыл бұрын
I agree. Upon being found guilty, along with doing time, they should also castrate and sterilize these perverts!
@terrypeters8682
@terrypeters8682 3 жыл бұрын
This is exactly what happened to me. I have never told anyone due to embarrassment. It is sometimes a very sick world.
@douca1
@douca1 3 жыл бұрын
Now you have told thousands. Good for you. Now forgive that person and be free. It took me 50yrs to forgive. Many fantasies of killing this man.
@terrypeters8682
@terrypeters8682 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you The hate runs so deep for so long. To be free is the only thing I want. @@douca1
@aurwood68
@aurwood68 3 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry it happened to you..
@xXelitegpXx
@xXelitegpXx 3 жыл бұрын
I’m thankful there’s people strong enough to speak about such topics because we have a lot to learn about human behavior, in every aspect.
@bluesman0903
@bluesman0903 3 жыл бұрын
I had this happen when I was about 7 by a uncle, more than once, about 2 years later (1968-69), he was hit and killed while walking in the road to get gas for his car, the driver was drunk, but I seen this as justice, this incident has haunted me my whole life. I can see where someone would want to kill the offender. I wish I was given the opportunity to confront my uncle, not sure what I'd say, but i wish I was given that chance.
@Sarcasmtomasksadness
@Sarcasmtomasksadness 2 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry I hope you can find peace and healing
@bluesman0903
@bluesman0903 2 жыл бұрын
@@Sarcasmtomasksadness Thank you,
@MsSimpleMovies
@MsSimpleMovies 2 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry you were violated like that, and that you carry it with you. As for that "human" garbage: Good riddance to bad rubbish.
@MFPanduh
@MFPanduh 3 жыл бұрын
That was incredibly powerful. He admitted illegal activity and still called out his abuser. My upmost respect.
@Logan_93
@Logan_93 2 жыл бұрын
Utmost*
@thatguyhijolly6316
@thatguyhijolly6316 3 жыл бұрын
I haven’t read this piece but I’m a cop and I’m striving to become a child crimes detective (not there yet) one of the first things I’ve learned from the detectives I’ve met is that most of the time when these predators say “oh well I got molested as a kid so I became a molester” they’re lying because that’s a popular myth due to shows like criminal minds and law and order, it’s true sometimes but the majority of the time they’re lying and fishing for sympathy, these people are master manipulators don’t feel bad for them.
@sweetazzmofo
@sweetazzmofo 2 жыл бұрын
Counseled many of these men. It is a disorder, not something learned.
@bluesman0903
@bluesman0903 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, because of this misconception of child molesters I debated for years ""do I want to have kids", just because of this. well I had to wonderful boys, adults now, and I never had the urge to even think about molesting them, it's just a bullshit excuse, I'm in my 60's now with 4 Grandkids who i love dearly. I have never told my sons about being molested when I was a child, for fear I wouldn't be able to see them because of this misconception, I still don't know if I should tell them, I think it would be hard for them to wrap their brains around this. And Sir, I hope you catch all of these POS's.
@theconiferoust9598
@theconiferoust9598 3 жыл бұрын
It is amazing: the dynamics of pain, truth, and power and how interconnected they are. It is beautiful to see the strength and reverence for truth of someone who has seen such pain.
@scottsoward
@scottsoward 3 жыл бұрын
Deep and powerful conversation/ topic. Good to have to this discussed open and honestly, and therapeutic for those who've gone through similar horror.
@ocvp_tx6951
@ocvp_tx6951 3 жыл бұрын
I would NEVER leave my kid alone with anyone who’s not my wife
@genmapi
@genmapi 3 жыл бұрын
Not everyone's a devil. Society will not run without trust and faith.
@salter84
@salter84 3 жыл бұрын
Coming from someone who experienced this as well, you can never be too careful. Rapists & molesters are brazen. It happened by my own family, so, it’s hard to trust anyone with your children.
@ocvp_tx6951
@ocvp_tx6951 3 жыл бұрын
@@genmapi sorry but based on my own experience you can’t trust anyone. Better safe than sorry.
@ocvp_tx6951
@ocvp_tx6951 3 жыл бұрын
@@salter84 same here, please be very careful who you trust your kids with
@SarahMc585
@SarahMc585 3 жыл бұрын
@@salter84 I’m So sorry someone betrayed your trust like that. I hope you can heal from that wound xo
@mskatonic1
@mskatonic1 3 жыл бұрын
My husband was raped by his brother for some time when they were young. The dude is now some "macho" type and the golden child in the family. My husband still struggles to this day.
@viidakkomehu9533
@viidakkomehu9533 3 жыл бұрын
sorry to hear, must be hella hard for you and your husband. But ill give the same advice i gave this other guy... "without judging urself or the experience, i suggest you go through the emotions it brings to u, its not gonna be easy but you can do it." when i say you, i mean ur husband.
@aurwood68
@aurwood68 3 жыл бұрын
This is horrible..
@snowbunny783
@snowbunny783 2 жыл бұрын
Very sorry for your husbands trauma. Out the son of a bitch. Give him exactly what he deserves
@lopezrealestateservices
@lopezrealestateservices 3 жыл бұрын
Joe love you for the guests you have on. This guy is super brave, the guest, and honorable.
@danthegreat9790
@danthegreat9790 3 жыл бұрын
I’ was 13 years old when it happened to me. I am now 24. There doesn’t go a day where I don’t recall those memories even when I don’t want to think about it that day plays in my head.
@danthegreat9790
@danthegreat9790 3 жыл бұрын
@@AhFeiLee I tried going and didn’t like being inside a small room the way they looked at me and asked questions made me feel like they were judging/blaming me
@physicalmediaempire8398
@physicalmediaempire8398 3 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Stay strong and always keep moving forward.
@viidakkomehu9533
@viidakkomehu9533 3 жыл бұрын
without judging urself or the experience, i suggest you go through the emotions it brings to u, its not gonna be easy but you can do it.
@sunshine3914
@sunshine3914 3 жыл бұрын
@@danthegreat9790 Try writing or speaking it out even if in an empty room. It will help towards healing. There’s also probably a hotline you could call.
@danthegreat9790
@danthegreat9790 3 жыл бұрын
@@viidakkomehu9533 I’ve tried doing so and the only feeling going through are strong feelings of anger and hatred
@sam-cs7ne
@sam-cs7ne 3 жыл бұрын
Very strong individual, talking about being raped knowing millions will see it. Can’t even imagine
@igot5onit423
@igot5onit423 3 жыл бұрын
The Eminem effect
@berto3745
@berto3745 3 жыл бұрын
It’s worth hearing and seeing the whole podcast...such respect to these two guys. Towards the end when there’s a moment of silence between Joe and David. Powerful!!
@l.hutsonspe1007
@l.hutsonspe1007 3 жыл бұрын
You are brave on so many levels David Holthouse. Mind-blowing. Thank you truly for sharing.
@wolfman8449
@wolfman8449 3 жыл бұрын
I did NOT expect what this podcast ended up being when I clicked on it I went into it wanting JRE back on youtube because I miss squatch and UFOs and I came out still wanting JRE back on youtube but because I miss these long deep and thoughtful convos with interesting people that have lead fascinating lives.
@Papa1Smurf1
@Papa1Smurf1 3 жыл бұрын
Kinda puts some of the other guests complaints into perspective, doesn’t it? 🙃
@nathan4678
@nathan4678 3 жыл бұрын
What do you mean
@areyoutheregoditsmedave
@areyoutheregoditsmedave 3 жыл бұрын
Demi lavato?
@Catlady-mw4en
@Catlady-mw4en 3 жыл бұрын
Lol. I think it puts most everyone’s complaints into perspective.
@piercepluenneke7438
@piercepluenneke7438 3 жыл бұрын
By that nobody should be able to bring light to anything bad because fuckin Syria exists. One uping others issues is a really dumb thing to do not to mention one uping on other peoples behalf. Are you not dead or dying? You have no right to feel any negative emotions then!! Brilliant.
@issaggg1087
@issaggg1087 3 жыл бұрын
shut up and give me my yogurt!
@Cocarat206
@Cocarat206 3 жыл бұрын
This guys film is amazing and I had to pause this episode and binge it before I could continue. Worth it.
@DMWBN3
@DMWBN3 3 жыл бұрын
Hard hitting, I'll go to Spotify for the full story.
@thessalymeteora3789
@thessalymeteora3789 3 жыл бұрын
Heavy stuff man. Heavy.
@stephaneprevost_1967
@stephaneprevost_1967 3 жыл бұрын
Ouf, that was intense... i'm little upside down right now. That is how powerful it was. And I was never abused.
@taylorlibby7642
@taylorlibby7642 3 жыл бұрын
I found out 2 years ago that my abuser had died on my birthday the year before.
@thekosmokramer
@thekosmokramer 3 жыл бұрын
howd they die?
@shineboxofiran1899
@shineboxofiran1899 3 жыл бұрын
@@thekosmokramer he stabbed himself in the back 40 times and jumped of da bridge.
@taylorlibby7642
@taylorlibby7642 3 жыл бұрын
@@thekosmokramer Natural causes according to the obituary. I was on the other side of the country at the time.
@F_And
@F_And 3 жыл бұрын
@@shineboxofiran1899 got clintonef
@taylorlibby7642
@taylorlibby7642 3 жыл бұрын
@P Harrell Honestly wasn't happy or sad about it. More disappointed that I never got to confront them myself.
@travisduvernay2241
@travisduvernay2241 3 жыл бұрын
It’s crazy that I grew up in Juneau and have never heard of him. Good on him for learning to cope with this.
@darkwhitemoon
@darkwhitemoon 3 жыл бұрын
I can’t cry, but just now I cried so deeply
@SarahMc585
@SarahMc585 3 жыл бұрын
❤️❤️❤️
@DirtyWorka
@DirtyWorka 3 жыл бұрын
Powerful headline. Had to watch instantly
@kashaw33
@kashaw33 3 жыл бұрын
Even the most difficult thing's should be talked about! It's part of the healing process.
@frqbkpsa4594
@frqbkpsa4594 3 жыл бұрын
kzfaq.info/get/bejne/p52IhbF1r6uclmg.html
@jplauche
@jplauche 3 жыл бұрын
I'm going to have to check out the whole interview.
@santaclaus3077
@santaclaus3077 3 жыл бұрын
This is probably one of Joe's top podcasts hes ever done.
@mushroomlasers7470
@mushroomlasers7470 3 жыл бұрын
I've seen the adapted play off broadway called, "The niteman cometh".
@TrainnWheelz
@TrainnWheelz 3 жыл бұрын
Ooooahhhahhhhh
@KerioFive
@KerioFive 3 жыл бұрын
@@TrainnWheelz Dayman!
@ianmcconnell7093
@ianmcconnell7093 3 жыл бұрын
Gotta pay the troll toll!
@oc7455
@oc7455 3 жыл бұрын
Gotta pay the trolls toll
@frqbkpsa4594
@frqbkpsa4594 3 жыл бұрын
kzfaq.info/get/bejne/p52IhbF1r6uclmg.html
@Burgmannn
@Burgmannn 3 жыл бұрын
Now stuff like this made me a longtime listener.
@KajiCarson
@KajiCarson 3 жыл бұрын
I remember reading this guy's essay over a decade ago in high school, it was that good.
@jean-mikail7207
@jean-mikail7207 3 жыл бұрын
i appreciate this guy’s courage
@DragonNo1
@DragonNo1 3 жыл бұрын
Great story! One that is worth listening more than once. It touched me. Abused children suffer great trauma. Trauma is part of our human condition. Either we can cope with it and become better human beings, or repeat it and propagate it. I don't know if David did the right thing, but what he did made me think about how I can become a better version of myself..
@readytoworkboulder
@readytoworkboulder 3 жыл бұрын
Damn, and I thought my life was complicated....
@MagicManAleister
@MagicManAleister 7 ай бұрын
This came at the perfect time in my feed. I recently found 2 of my abusers on FB and am working though how to even approach this and eventually confront them.
@cashmoneyx9372
@cashmoneyx9372 3 жыл бұрын
My abuser died in a car crash about 4 months ago. Kinda sad because I too wanted to take him out myself but at peace because no other child will be molested by him in particular, still dealing with the anger and depression and drug use. But I have a lot to work on,
@Rissy617
@Rissy617 3 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry Angelo. Thank you for sharing your story. You are a survivor. I hope you can continue your healing journey. You're not alone ❤️
@princetulip8270
@princetulip8270 2 жыл бұрын
In your shoes still. Hard to imagine this rage will ever end.
@JimmyValmer85
@JimmyValmer85 3 жыл бұрын
Wtf, man. Dude was into the rave scene; was an undercover neo-nazi; abused as a kid... One of the best episodes, ever! This dude is legit. Proper.
@spyjams0136
@spyjams0136 Жыл бұрын
Yeah dude abused as a kid so legit bro
@theresathompson9123
@theresathompson9123 3 жыл бұрын
I wonder if he had named him if others might've come forward? I bet there were others. He just lied.
@lookSOflyLIKEme1
@lookSOflyLIKEme1 3 жыл бұрын
He later in the episode states it's been several ones.
@bkm2797
@bkm2797 3 жыл бұрын
Totally agree, once they have predated they almost always Never stop until they are stopped by the law, or what this guys first decision was. Recently they just caught a ring of 400,000 child sexual predators through the dark web, after they have been caught they will spend little time in prison 2-3 yrs. no matter how heinous their crimes and released back into the public...insane.
@gurgleblaster2282
@gurgleblaster2282 3 жыл бұрын
Naming him might have also damaged relationships in his life. How close was he to his family? was his perp family? there are so many things that we just dont have the context to. I respect his choice, coming forward is hard enough. Talking about it is hard enough. Thinking about it is hard enough. There is not telling how much fallout he would have faced on top of the trauma he is dealing with.
@Catlady-mw4en
@Catlady-mw4en 3 жыл бұрын
@@gurgleblaster2282 he probably wasn’t close to the rapist’s family, or he wouldn’t have needed to stalk or write a letter to get in touch. It sounds like he really just gave him the benefit of the doubt. It’s sad, but people are capable of unimaginable things, and they’re also capable of regret and being regular people. Sometimes the difference between good and evil in one person is just timing and circumstance.
@longlivegarybusey6409
@longlivegarybusey6409 3 жыл бұрын
@@bkm2797 That never happened. Don't make shit up.
@julianchavez4416
@julianchavez4416 3 жыл бұрын
Goodness. Great podcast but very rough to hear. Being someone with this type of trauma slightly triggering but an absolute relief listening to this man knowing that you may not be alone.
@thewalkingdude8786
@thewalkingdude8786 3 жыл бұрын
Honestly this was the best episode of JRE I've seen in a while
@siedhaholmes9945
@siedhaholmes9945 3 жыл бұрын
Wow! This is powerful.
@Mrpsblobsoflowendmung
@Mrpsblobsoflowendmung 3 жыл бұрын
Wow, this story tracks exactly like my own life, by early 30s I had literally found and stalked him to the point of planning it all out. I never went through with it. And same age difference to, was classed as a juvenile , and we have since found out he was working with vulnerable children because his juvenile record was sealed and it was the early 80s before an actual register was in operation , I managed to stop that . But wow , men need to talk about this all other more . Much respect Joe
@laurenkoper4039
@laurenkoper4039 3 жыл бұрын
Excellent interview. This man is fascinating.
@quicksilver2k97
@quicksilver2k97 3 жыл бұрын
This episode, if any, should be on KZfaq
@stevens2706
@stevens2706 3 жыл бұрын
DAMN THAT WAS HEAVY!!
@alternativehealthandbeauty3928
@alternativehealthandbeauty3928 3 жыл бұрын
How brave of him to come forward with this story. He may have made is easier for so many people to do the same.
@douca1
@douca1 3 жыл бұрын
I agree. It happens more than you know.
@xtreme_survival7879
@xtreme_survival7879 3 жыл бұрын
When you hear a man has been murdered and the police can't find a motive or a suspect, this is a possible scenario that I will consider.
@kelvindesilva4408
@kelvindesilva4408 3 жыл бұрын
This was powerful to hear. I cant imagine the strength it takes not to give into his rage.
@Vitalbowhunting
@Vitalbowhunting 3 жыл бұрын
Joe asks question at the exact same time I’m saying in my head “I hope he asks this question”
@kskwerl68
@kskwerl68 3 жыл бұрын
16th street mall is def where I would expect this meeting to go down
@tameyourmonkeymind3382
@tameyourmonkeymind3382 3 жыл бұрын
Love you videos so much they have inpired me to start my own chanell so thank you
@laurenashley7296
@laurenashley7296 2 жыл бұрын
Wow this is so intense and amazing and I think helpful for many who are scared to tell their story.
@leftfordead8336
@leftfordead8336 3 жыл бұрын
My 3 sisters and brother were molested by our ex grandfather as children, whether I was or not I'm not exactly sure as my memories of that point in my childhood are not the best anymore being an adult. He's more than likely going to die in prison for those concerned as that's where he is currently but if by some chance of luck he doesn't, I'm waiting. What I would like to people to gather from this I suppose is that you never really know someone until it too late, watch over and protect your loved ones. Likewise there's no shame in being a victim of abuse and for those that need to hear it it get's better I promise you, if anyone ever needs someone to talk to you can reach out to me anytime.
@iii978
@iii978 2 жыл бұрын
how can someone be ex grandfather?
@leftfordead8336
@leftfordead8336 2 жыл бұрын
@@iii978 he’s a child molestor serving time in prison. he’s not family anymore dude pretty simple actually
@iii978
@iii978 2 жыл бұрын
@@leftfordead8336 he is still your grandfather molestor or not. Pretty simple actually.
@leftfordead8336
@leftfordead8336 2 жыл бұрын
@@iii978 real funny what does this add to my topic ? just trying to be a prick or what ? hope you never have to experience anything like this in your life
@iii978
@iii978 2 жыл бұрын
@@leftfordead8336 You just can't pick and choose like that you leftist for dead.
@phototron8780
@phototron8780 3 жыл бұрын
Great documentary.
@adamlee1084
@adamlee1084 3 жыл бұрын
Which of his are they talking about?
@phototron8780
@phototron8780 3 жыл бұрын
@@adamlee1084 Sasquatch on Amazon Prime
@MUN00K
@MUN00K 3 жыл бұрын
I know two guys who have been through this. I think it’s sadly common...
@christhomas8339
@christhomas8339 3 жыл бұрын
Conversation like this help to get closer to the problem, still a long way to go until we understand, but that’s because people are repelled from the empathy to try and understand. Definitely understandable, but hard to solve as a result.
@wotan10950
@wotan10950 3 жыл бұрын
He DID subsequently name him in a follow up piece, primarily because the rapist turned out to have victimized several other people. Fwiw, I myself was sexually assaulted at age 13 in a movie theater by an older man. When the momentary opportunity came to escape, I ran like hell for my life. But surprisingly, it didn’t bother me that much…….and today I’m bothered by the fact that it didn’t bother me! I chalked it up at the time to just another pervert, preying on a young kid.
@HumanManufactured
@HumanManufactured 3 жыл бұрын
Finally some good content
@iancipollini9598
@iancipollini9598 3 жыл бұрын
I was sexually assaulted by an older boy (I was 6-8 he was 14-16) over the course of years. I didn't tell my family till I was 28.
@jeann2264
@jeann2264 3 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry! Peace be with you. Stay strong.
@keirachirello9195
@keirachirello9195 2 жыл бұрын
Very brave. That must have been so difficult to carry that pain for so long
@superluminalsquirrel9359
@superluminalsquirrel9359 2 жыл бұрын
Fellow Ian, I’m sorry you had to go through that but I admire your courage for telling the truth.
@PROV3it
@PROV3it 2 жыл бұрын
Great content joe
@bruhdon4748
@bruhdon4748 3 жыл бұрын
The amount of boys who’ve been abused as children is insane & we wonder where this “toxic masculinity” comes from, usually a childhood full of abuse and trauma & the only way men can usually express themselves is through violence
@thomasbobinski4127
@thomasbobinski4127 3 жыл бұрын
Damn that was too heavy for 7 in the morning but that ending was powerful, "It could be anyone".
@RPJs-Cuisine
@RPJs-Cuisine 3 жыл бұрын
Going on Spotify tonight to watch full interview! Holy Shit!!!
@awesomeHOBO117
@awesomeHOBO117 3 жыл бұрын
Really missed your podcast on KZfaq really hard to get Spotify here in the country
@brainumb6078
@brainumb6078 3 жыл бұрын
I had this happen to me by a older female when I was ten, I’m lucky it didn’t completely fuck me up, I do deal with thing well I think, but the pain in my heart when I here this happen to young ppl is what I can’t handle, it so common
@mc26collum
@mc26collum 3 жыл бұрын
I've been trying to bury it since he's a family member. Most of the time, it's successful but once every few years I break down.
@therugburnz
@therugburnz 3 жыл бұрын
Thanx Dave
@heatherwhitehead3743
@heatherwhitehead3743 3 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry that happened to you. God bless you
@Jess-kn8vl
@Jess-kn8vl 3 жыл бұрын
Facebook or other social media is hard for survivors. Either someone you know is friends with these abusers or your own curiosity seeks them out. Its complicated grief, social media triggers my PTSD I cant even be on there. This guy is so brave for telling his story I totally get why he wanted revenge to get "rid of" the threat. He said he is also drawn to darker stories where it could be repetition compulsion, to subconsciously have a victory over the original wound. I have also put myself in situations where I could have been victimized again and it took almost 2 decades to understand why. My heart goes out to all survivors out there 💛
@ianwinn7578
@ianwinn7578 3 жыл бұрын
Lovely sentiment. You're brave too for confronting your own demons.
@mothermurdererpodcaster
@mothermurdererpodcaster Жыл бұрын
Yes 💯
@Tracydot3
@Tracydot3 3 жыл бұрын
Rapists don't only do it once. But everyone deals with trauma differently so I can't fault this guy for choosing not to name him. It's his decision and he knows what's best for him.
@maebandy
@maebandy 3 жыл бұрын
Everyone experiences traumatic events. Ultimately, what heals us is to feel connected and heard by others rebuilding our trust in humanity. Vengeance becomes mostly a solo mission. Outing your abuser to the shouts of an angry horde only redirects the focus towards them and future violence which creates more pain, shame, and human isolation. We are all part of a fragmented hive mind seeking to repair its broken bonds. Abuse is a betrayal of care, we want to know how, why we were left unprotected and if we can be safe again. Sending a part of our psyche out on a kill mission means less protection guarding the gate and certainly a band of damaged mercenaries upon return. Compassionate kills are sometimes necessary but they are supposed to be the responsibility of their community because these criminals are a lesson, are a symptom, we're supposed to trace back the disease.
@Tracydot3
@Tracydot3 3 жыл бұрын
@@maebandy One of the main reasons to name abusers is to prevent them from hurting others and to help other people that abuser has hurt. Very rarely if ever do people do that just once. But if the survivor of abuse chooses not to name that person, it is their choice 100%. We are in charge of our healing journey.
@sunshine3914
@sunshine3914 3 жыл бұрын
He eventually named him after finding out he wasn’t his only victim.
@maebandy
@maebandy 3 жыл бұрын
@@Tracydot3 yes, name them for yourself, to call the devil by his name. But not to feed a crowd who would rather hunt down an evil than deal with their own discomfort and sit with the wounded.
@timbuckll
@timbuckll 3 жыл бұрын
I really like the new look of the studio.
@misterx4757
@misterx4757 3 жыл бұрын
Dude is powerful. Hope he's healed.
@brandonc127
@brandonc127 3 жыл бұрын
At least you spoke up and didn’t drown like I did man. Kudos
@tumpnewmedia5417
@tumpnewmedia5417 3 жыл бұрын
kzfaq.info/get/bejne/p52IhbF1r6uclmg.html
@frqbkpsa4594
@frqbkpsa4594 3 жыл бұрын
kzfaq.info/get/bejne/p52IhbF1r6uclmg.html
@daftnord4957
@daftnord4957 3 жыл бұрын
it's too bad real comments get crapped on by bots
@cryforthemoon
@cryforthemoon 3 жыл бұрын
I still think about murdering my abuser even though he already killed himself over 15 years ago. Trying to avoid prison.
@bobmateljan6986
@bobmateljan6986 3 жыл бұрын
That's how abuse perpetuates it is what a child learns and becomes damaged by and the cycle continues. Break the cycle. That goes for untreated mental illness of many kinds also - discover the truth, understand it, learn about it, admit it, treat it, and help end the cycle.
@youngmoneycashheavy
@youngmoneycashheavy 3 жыл бұрын
Love the the new background but that sign to big lmao aye Rogan u got me hooked on ur show again
@StonkeyDomp
@StonkeyDomp 3 жыл бұрын
"Give them nothing, take from them everything!"
@ozz7602
@ozz7602 3 жыл бұрын
I'm with you SIRE.. FOR HONOUR FOR FREEDOM... TO THE DEATH..
@animiefansHQ
@animiefansHQ 3 жыл бұрын
little confused bc david actually ended up naming the abuser on a follow up essay, bc he found out the scumbag had abused several other children as well, was this mentioned later in the podcast?
@BADLUX
@BADLUX 3 жыл бұрын
4:20 I immediately thought of the restaurant scene in Sleepers
@mikemshow
@mikemshow 3 жыл бұрын
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