HELLOOOO welcome back!
I just got back from school because I’m having lunch at home then I have to go back😭 But this vent is a massive vent on just me and mostly school. I f*cking hate my school more than anything. It’s full of racists, homophobic people, bullying, cyber bullying, rude pictures, p*rn watchers, fights, death threats, attention seekers, massive districtions with kids exploding of anger, people v*ping/Smoke/drinking/Want to take dr*gs, people faking disorderes, and importantly, S*LF HARM!!!!
Context:
Now I used to do most of these topics but everyone flexes to everybody that they s*lf harm or fake having an eating disorder, and I always have to act like I’m fine at school. I’m mostly miserable because of all the children there. They all come to me or my only school friend (who also is apart of some of these topics.) saying like “they s*lf harmed and they’re gonna do it again.” And even SHOW us it when my friend has a massive trigger warning for these kinds of topics when self harm. It is not okay to just go around saying you do it in my opinion to everybody and this is what my schools known for is to do that.
Cotext P2:
I used to be such a kind person… i was so so sweet and gentle and so patient. I love everybody and so many animals too. Most people miss that side to me cuz I was just SO nice when I was little coming here. Now I’m a social mess who cries and screams at everybody or to herself/himself. Idk what to do with myself cuz I’m always so miserable and so angry at everyone. Not to mention the amount of bad mouth I get is crazy. My friends “best friend” who she’s forced to be friends with is trying to constantly one up me in everything and make me super more insecure than I am. I hate her so fucking much cuz she does it super well too. I yelled at her once In class like I SCREAMED at this woman and she ran out crying but that is literally the only time I snapped at her. I try to keep myself calm cuz I also really wasn’t a calm person growing up. I was so angry growing up too like throwing chairs and tables at kids and adults when I was in primary including a teacher always had to walk out with me to see my dad to report EVERYTHING I did. I’ve had these emotion issues for years that have gotten better but I still have. So people shit talking me just wants to make me BURST. but I hold it all in and just cry. I CRY. Everyday at home I’m crying because of school. I want to leave so bad and start a new life. But I just can’t cuz I’m year 10. I hate myself so much cuz of the environment of a school I’ve been in since i was 4. I also get different treatment with certain things because of my issues so they all get super jealous and bad mouth me because of it. So as you would imagine I don’t fit in with anyone. Especially with my autism including other kids with it in our school too. I feel hated everyday with people bad mouthing me or showing me their cuts. I want it to stop. I cry everyday about school like I said and I just wanna off myself whenever I have to go in. So that’s what this vent is about. I like being delusional of my life to try and erase the massive pain I have in my chest everyday. I live in a delusion I hate. But also love.
Tags: #gacha #vent #gachaclub #gachalife2 #edit #gachavent #insideout #sad #school #drinkingalcohol #smoking #selfhelp