Somehow I knew you were gonna be here xD

cathobros where we at ?

Low-hanging fruit? Check. Goes several steps farther than the other jokes? Check. Selects another character at random to be the voice of the narrator in condemning them? Check. Many of the hallmarks of "Christian" "humor" are in the UMC joke, so I can conclude that this is what reprobates call "funny".

Good to see you here, I was wondering what you would think of this.

I'm a United Methodist and no one in my church is like that.

And it's guaranteed to not perish. ❤️👍

Arminian: you knew what I was gonna pick didn’t you 🙂

@@casenswartz7278 they also think the coffee came from themselves.

Predestination. you say? Just say it!!

As a non-Lutheran who once met with a bunch of Christian friends in the basement of a college-town Lutheran church and brewed like 8 batches of beer in their kitchen, I also support this view.

Currently enjoying my own homebrewed IPA, ditto.

Based on this video, there should be an upcoming increase in Lutheran congregation membership. Thank you, gentlemen! (#LCMS)

😂👍

​@@shamrackle3712Thought crossed my mind. 😂

😂

I make espresso and fill my 20 oz tumbler. It actually slows down my crazy abnormal heart rate! 🤣👍

Great. You blew it. Now they're getting closed down.

​@@tonic-musiclol

D d ts😮 0:00

Bless him 😂

He saved you that day. Lol

That and alcohol. (Eucharist/Communion)

@@Iliadic Only Catholics, sir! the rest of us get Welch's grape juice.

Me, my mother and aunts can confirm

Unless you are Lutheran.

@lorianguillaume, closer on than you may know. Coptic monks in Ethiopia may well have been the first group coffee consumers, staying awake during chapter prayers.

No Orthodox either lol

​@@thatsnodildo1974We like good, strong, small but mighty Greek/Turkish style coffee... I don't think American coffee houses know how to make that. But we're pre-denominational, anyway, so I don't think we even get invited to these meetings 😂

Irish Catholic would have Irish coffee.

@@katherines.3767Baptist would just make you stand in the corner of shame

There are only Christians here.

Yes! That would have been the perfect way to cap off the big Eva part.

Fellow Dutchman here. Add a bit of rum, and we'll be all set...

@@caedmonnoeske3931 here in Australia we prefer port, but I'm with you

Perhaps also as a Dutch Reformed myself, we'd need to read a 3-page form before we drink our black coffee explaining its benefit, symbolism, history, tradition, comparisons to other coffee, and its application.

@@alexvanpelt5119 YES!😂😂

As a Baptist who just drank two coffees and took a nap, I endorse this idea about coffee. I woke up even more Baptist.

🤣

'Thank you, thank you, i will be here all week. Make sure to tip your servers for their hard work.'--Tyler Curtis, The apostle of comedy

Thick, syrupy water...

it is a shock growing up in the heart of NC BBQ country and moving only as far up as northern VA for a bit. half the places did the sugar packet, and the few that had sweet always assumed you meant unsweet by default if you order "tea" or "iced tea" as if they didn't hear my accent. then you learn to stress the "sweet" in "sweet tea" but they didn't even hear that half the time. but any further south no one seems to use more than a single tea leaf per 5 gallons. people, it's called sweet tea, not sweet water syrup with a faint hint of tea. maybe I'm the odd ball, but I have to keep it limited to 2 level cups per gallon max, and use extra bags. and all of 'em need to get that dirty lemon off my glass it has no business around tea. /rant off

As a member of the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church our Lord established on the Rock of Pope Saint Peter, I take my coffee with extra wine, hold the beans and water. _Ave Maria, gratias plena!_

​@MarcillaSmith ha! He should have included that one.

Yep!!

You know the difference between a Baptist and a Lutheran? The Lutheran will look at you in the liquor store.

@@perilousrange LMAO! Awkward! Which denomination is the one who insists he is only buying it for a friend? ( i think thats the denominations i am)

Fellow LCMS Lutheran here, can confirm the accuracy!

Its that German influence..... 😀

Lutherans would have a Pale Lager. Eastern Orthodox would have a Black Overproof Russian Imperial Stout. Angelitos like a scoop of vanilla ice cream in their Russian Imperial Stout.

🤣

Ditto!!!!

Kegstand: A Lutheran tradition as old as The Reformation

Well, Missouri Synod Lutheran anyway...

@@tetrabromobisphenol Especially LCMS or WELS

Well, someone has to keep the rest of you in proper wedding and funeral liturgies.

I've asked about that recently but I do see a few Episcopalian churches in town.

@@Lawofimprobability We survive by picking up the deserters from more conservative churches, but that won't last forever. Cradle Episcs are a marginal community.

Ouch! Some areas Episcopalians are growing. I’m not sure if he means English Anglican in these or American Anglican which are two very different things.

@@danielponder690 What's 'growing', though? Most of the members of my local Episc church are ex-Baptists, ex-Presbys. I don't know that that's a win -- because tellingly few of their children remain committed Episcs.

If they did show up they'd be dressed like a secret agent. Trenchcoat, wide brimmed hat pulled down low, dark glasses.... wouldn't want to be seen entering an establishment with the word 'coffee' in it's name. I know some who won't eat coffee cake.

That explains why the Presbyterian ministers I met were so frazzled. One guy I met went to Iraq to get away from his congregation.

Maybe you should read Thomas Aquinas. ;) Catholicism….. is better

Also PCA. Spot on 😂

@@answeringadventism john Knox would approve our sentiment

Narcissists are like that.....Leighton Flowers freed me fromyour clutches .....

OPC has entered the chat......

Yo why the saint in your avatar tho?

@@antoniosstavropoulos6180Saints are God’s warriors.

I went through 100+ comments to find the LDS one. Sorely disappointed we weren't used as the punchline 😢

I was raised a baptist, but after watching this I’m strongly considering becoming a Lutheran

And there's stuffed added into it that would make one either ill or dead.

@@goosieschmoo8239 Are you a former Catholic? That festering animosity reminds me of some ex-catholics i've met

@@inconnu4961 my grandmother was and God took her out of that false religion. And I'm thankful for that otherwise I'd be a mary-worshipper, works-based salvation promoting roman catholic instead of an actual Christian.

I go to a German origin Lutheran church, our coffee hour only reliably has powdered creamer and runs out of coffee often. The good part is that there is no "suggested" donation and maintenance costs of cheap.

Catholic coffee would be served either by a little boy or by all the dead people they pray to.

@@Jerry-er6lq Imagine thinking that purgatory is real which would insinuate that Christ's death on the cross wasn't finished and that you'd have to work off sins after death, that Mary is somehow queen of heaven and co-redeemer/co-dispenser of grace, that mass and church membership is a means to salvation, that works save us, and that the pope is the representative and mouth piece of God... Only someone who isn't a Christian thinks those things are true. Aka a Roman Catholic.

@@Jerry-er6lq imagine reading ephesians 2:8-9 and claiming your good boy points and good girl points will get you into heaven.

@@Jerry-er6lq if they believed everything in the bible then they'd stop praying to the dead, stop promoting a works-based salvation, stop viewing Mary as queen of heaven and having the ability to diviy out grace and salvation, stop treating dead created beings as mediators between us and Christ, stop promoting purgatory, stop promoting tye treasury if merit, stop treating the pope as the representative and mouthpiece of Christ, etc etc.

@@goosieschmoo8239 Please dontrankle the chains of the poor Catholics. Life is hard enough for them as it is!

I'm also a Southern Baptist. I was raised in SBC churches, but I was invited to a historic (now PCA) Presbyterian Church and found myself there for three years. I learned a lot about the sovereignty of God that was just not taught us in SBC churches. We were not taught contrary theology, just not taught the fullness of grace and sovereignty. From reading your post, I know we share the same concerns. I get strange looks at my little country church when I mention the name John Calvin, yet we all love hearing Dr.'s Voddie Bauchum and John MacArthur preach. We're a truly conflicted lot, and we're mostly Calvinist except in name. Arminianism just doesn't work. I am already diabetic, so I'll have to have sweet & low if I drink tea...I'll just have the black coffee.

I will say that the first place I saw honey in coffee was at an OCA church.