@strongsick286 its Ok I thank you for sharing. I appreciate the comments

last message lol. I used to work with kids and we told them about confidentiality. Their parents were concerned when they got home and the kids told them "we can't talk about the group". We had to re-teach them and explain that they could talk about their own experience. Sound familiar?

about the idea of surgery for weight loss -- all the motivations and objections you mention relate to how you look. I live on the same planet, where doctors and nutritionists are trying to get me healthy , but to me, I associate my obesity with ugliness and my history of being slim as a time when I looked better. I almost laughed in the face of a nutritionist who said "it's not about how you look!" yeah, right. Well it is, in reality, but I think the doctors recommend the surgeries as a support to get your health under control. If you like the idea of a jump start, talk to your prescribing psych dr about topamax. It's now available in generic. It was originally prescribed for treatment resistant bipolar depression, then treatment resistant depression and they noticed that everyone on it who was overweight lost weight. I had such little appetite on it that I dropped 80 pounds. Most pts who weren't on it for weight loss drop 20. if you can exercise more at that point, you could keep it off. but in the land of surgery, I knew a woman who was very depressed when she considered her surgical options, but had a successful surgery. She knew, however, that her insurance included the removal of excess skin. I knew a beautiful teenage girl who had always been obese. The first time I met her other and siblings was a Christmas when they left her at home because they couldn't afford to pay for 2 airline seats for her. When I did meet her, I could see that her family mocked her and that her health was suffering - she struggled to breathe walking from a car to the house. I hoped and prayed that as an adult she would get away from her poisonous family and have access to weight loss surgery. Unfortunately, she died of a heart attack on her eighteenth birthday. As you probably know, before you get surgery, you would have to exercise daily and eat a modified diet. Since your joints are holding up. ( yay!) maybe you and your local friend can come up with a walking plan. If moving around helps your blood sugar, maybe it won't seem like such a crisis to your doctors and you'll feel more capable of taking control of your situation. (good for your mood). Your friend could call and stay on the phone as long as you're walking or get creative - ask people for ideas .to use esp on days like you described when you have 0 motivation. Just some thoughts. I need to exercise, too. My joints are shot and i have access to swimming but i haven't been doing it. good luck whatever you decide.