I've been a DM for 42 years through all the editions with small groups, large groups, veterans and those fresh to the table. I've DMed on Twitch Streams, online and face to face, I still have nights where I feel I shouldn't be behind the screen, that I'm just dumping garbage out onto the table. nights where I don't want to DM at all, etc... Through all of it the 'rule' I cling to in those moments, 'Everybody is here to have fun, so have fun'

0:17 "I'm making this too complicated, I'm gonna stop myself right there." How to solve DM anxiety, in a nutshell!

"The players are there to play, not to judge you" is such a freeing statement, thank you!

My therapist puts it this way: “Just because it FEELS true doesn’t mean it IS true.”

Dael went Eeeee and my 4 yearold went Eeeeee.

Something that helped me a lot was doing a quick, casual debrief at the end of each session, where we talked about what worked and what didn't. It helped me realize that I was being too harsh on myself -- Most of the time, the players had had a much better time than I had realized (being too involved with everything going on in my DM brain), and whenever I mentioned the parts that had gone poorly from my perspective, my players usually hadn't even noticed.

The only advice I'll give is this: don't aim for perfect (be it the perfect game, running the rules perfectly, ect), just aim to run a fun game; as long as everyone has fun no one will complain.

Last session we had a break and I went to make myself a cup of tea and when I came back three of my players were roleplaying with eachother and it made me so happy and helped me so much.

DM me then: "Oh, no! My players killed the NPC. I'm screwed!" DM me now: "Haha, NPC go brrr. They're screwed"

I've learned never to plan for PC actions. My life has been made so much easier by just writing down what the world is doing in reaction to what they did last and what the villains are doing as a result. So long as I know what's going on in the world I can make it react to the player actions, rather than hoping the players react to the world in the way I want.

An old boss of mine always talked about being "Unconsciously incompetent and transferring to "Consciously incompetent." I think that's what holds a lot of DMs back. It is a learning process. But transitioning from not knowing what you can improve, to knowing what you can improve is a huge step. The next step up is becoming "Unconsciously competent, when you do not realize that you are actually doing so well! It's important to realize that there will always be room for improvement, but be satisfied in knowing that you CAN run the game as a DM, and your players are having fun.

As one of the"old guard" who's been running games for thirty years, I still have DM anxiety. Due to the pandemic my group migrated to a Virtual Tabletop. In my last session the VTT experienced tremendous lag on my end due to problems with my computer. In this session one of the players was relatively new to our group, and I was picking up the campaign after months of not playing it. Due to those three reasons, I felt a great deal of anxiety during and after the session. This video went a long way to making me feel much better. So thank you for making it!

I’ve been DMing for 18 years now and I really enjoyed this video. Every group and DM is different, it’s important to find ‘your’ style and not copy what you see other DMs do. You won’t DM like them and they won’t DM like you. Find your strength and lean in hard. You can work on your weaknesses as you go. It’s a marathon, not a sprint!

This speaks to me. The two things that have helped me recently are taking more 5min breaks during a session like to breathe, work out where things are going, fix what isn't working and read the room. It fills me with way more confidence if I have little breaks to ask myself "whats working? what isn't?" rather than that end of session dread of "I wish I hadn't done ___, because that sucked and I have to live with being a rubbish DM until NEXT WEEK!!". The other thing that's really helped with the start of sessions to get out the jitters out is to do a 5minute world-building sesh with the players where I ask them questions about the world we're in and we mark things on a map together. It makes me feel way more comfortable when the group starts on an equal creative level because it takes to pressure off.

For the "answering questions on the fly" part, this is actually a big part of being comfortable learning a new language. You can't plan for every question, but you CAN plan natural ways to stall. As a DM, you can try to think of ways to kill time without resorting to silence. For example if they are searching a body, describe the body itself or the clothes or whatever detail you can throw out there without actually thinking much to buy yourself some time. "You search the body, rifling through various pockets (pause) you're trying to focus all of your attention to the tips of your fingers (pause) you notice that the clothing is torn and burned by your attacks (pause) as bits of cloth flake off in your fingers you brush against something a little more solid (pause) you find (describe the object)"

Hey! I recognize that comment! This video was so great to see. Your comment response helped me out so much. I’m glad that now other people can get some comfort from this video! I know that I’m going to reference this again. Keep up the great work!

I am DMing since forever and I can relate too. There is one thing, I would offer two very similar experiments of mine. Ingame, in character, it could become easily tense on the table, and it becomes more difficult to see or show appreciation for one another, not only for the DM, but for the players too. So I created a little mechanic, to force us to talk about our game and what we liked about the others. After each session I gave out the XP, but I gave every player an amount, that they had to give to some other player in addition, they had to tell why. That was awkward at first, but they really started to think about the others and tell and show appreciation and over time players started to focus and engage in play particular designed to be appreciated by the others. And as a byproduct they also told me what they liked about my DMing. This boosted everyone's confidence including mine allot. In one other game I got a little further. When it was time for raising stats (that wasn't DnD with levels), I said "you are legends, and a legend is not what you think you are, but what others believe you are" so I let every player pitch a set of raisings to everyone else, and they had to chose from those pitchings. So the players also were more invested in one another and also the players really wanted to show, who their characters wanted to be, to get those pitches they hoped for. Now I play DnD without both mechanics (without XP too) and I really miss those parts of each session where everyone tells the others how great they were.

Here's one advice that I think can be useful and haven't seen in the comments yet: TRY DIFFERENT SYSTEMS! Specially ones that differ substantially from D&D! D&D is absolutely great and all, but it definitely puts a lot of emphasis on a particular style of play that can be very overwhelming. Other systems will make totally different demands from you and your players, and experimenting with those can put a lot of new tools in your belt. Even if you eventually go back to D&D, you'll likely go back with a new appreciation for new possibilities on your game.

Pro tip, seating plans. My players have social problems sitting next to certain other players. So I tend to put quiet bastards up front close to me and put the loud bastards out back, far from me. I also look at character dynamics and try to put them close to other characters they can bounce off. Bonus round, if you have a role play heavy session, sit the role-players close together, if its a combat heavy session, sit the combat players closer together. It helps everyone have a voice and promote maximum playing. :)

Best tip I heard “You aren’t Matt Mercer.”

Me and my friends have migrated from presential to remote play since Covid, and I felt the lack of seeing my players faces and their reactions in person made this anxiety 1000 times worse for me, specially since I feel I'm much less free to improv combats in the remote platforms. I do feel that aiming for a fun game, and focusing on preparing a few key fun moments helps me a lot in this regard, and being willing to improvise the rest. Great video Dael, huge fan of the channel!

I don't know if this is reassuring or not, but I've been DMing for 15 years and I still have some of these anxieties! Especially when running for new people or starting a new campaign. And about half of the regular sessions I run, I feel like I screwed up something important. One of the most helpful things to remember is that it's okay to make mistakes or take your time, we're only human. Similar to what Dael said about saying "I don't know" it's okay to say "Mind if we end the session a little earlier this week? The next section isn't quite done yet." I did that this week and everyone was fine with it. Improv can be scary, but remember it's okay to retcon or correct yourself later or in the moment. Slip ups happen, no shame in correcting them after the fact (and sometimes the spur of the moment things end up being your favorite choices). I mentioned one session that breakfast was served with fish, but realized between sessions didn't fit with that culture, so the session after I just mentioned to the players to forget I mentioned the fish. There was never any fish. The fish was a lie! When starting out with voices, being afraid you'll sound silly is normal. I can't take that fear away, but I can tell you what to do in the unlikely event that you do sound silly: Keep going! That's the character's voice now, so what? Plenty of people in real life have strange sounding voices and that doesn't make them any less human. You'll get to where you want to be with a voice with practice. (And secret tip: If your players chuckle at the voice of a friendly NPC, let them respond sadly with "Yeah, I get that a lot." I guarentee you, you'll get an "Aww!" from the players and they will now protect them with their lives. And finally a trick you might be able to use, Dael: I've had accents slip away from me too, especially when reading long stretches of dialogue when I stream. What helps me is having a line of dialogue for that character that exemplifies them. Then I just have to mumble that to myself and my brain instantly locks into that voice from there. I'm not sure if this is specific to my brain only, but maybe it helps. (My favorite is the one for Sean Connery's voice "Miss Moneypenny, could you get me a bucket of yoghurt please? Strawberry Vanilla flavored." Don't ask.

"You gotta find what works for you, rather than just doing what you think you should be doing." That's honestly good advice for just life in general really

I get that "they just want to hang out, they don't realy care about playing" feeling all the time!

I started GMing in the late 80s and after a decade break, I've been getting back into it over the last year or so. This type of anxiety has hit me harder these days than it ever did when I was starting out. This video hits close to home. Thanks for some good advice.

"Guess who forgot about the post-it notes." I have never related to something so hard omg.

I empathize with this so much. I've been running games for 3 or 4 years, and I still feel lo like I haven't settled into a style that I'm happy with. I have found that I feel better with my games when I have a solid overall direction to the campaign helps me focus on the Iindividual sessoons.

This entire video, yes, absolutely! Especially the point about giving yourself time, and patience. Also: if you have difficulty with improv in first person - I know I do -, take conversations to the 3rd person! _Describe_ what the character says and the tone they say it in. It's not the perfect way to roleplay, but I'm not the perfect DM yet, I need my training wheels goddamit!

"I'm bad at life, but good in a vacuum" - i forget who said it. I think its lyrics from a Matt Good song. DMing in D&D is my vaccuum. For me the quote means that in a closed & controlled environment, I do well. Running homebrew being the environment. It's modules that i am terrible at. I think most people just need to try things until they find what works, & consider "no news is good news" since if people dont like something, they wont keep showing up to it. Generally.

The best practice for a GM to adopt is the way of the lazy GM. Basically when a player asks you a question, ask them a question in turn. "What's the innkeepers name" just ask "well phil, what is his name." This is two fold, it gets some heat off you as a GM and it gives the players agency in designing the world.

The Sense of Dread. The DM? Dungeon Master? No. Dread Master… Damn just named my big bad evil guy

As a fellow theater kid. We are not immune to Anxiety. I feel you.

It feels so incredibly validating to hear this articulated. "If you have these anxieties it's not a secret sign that you're a bad DM." Say it louder so my subconscious can hear, you wonderful Australian you!

I've been wanting to DM for a while now, and now that one of my campaigns fizzled out, I have little reason not to. Except for this sort of anxiety and the pressure to be perfect, research paralysis, etc. Perfectly timed video for me.

"You gotta find what works for you rather than just doing what you think you should be doing." A million times, yes!

I started playing the old red box Basic D&D set in 1988. Switched to AD&D first edition a couple years later and then 2E shortly thereafter. Probably ran my first game around 1992 or so. Been a DM ever since (rarely played the game as a PC). I still get DM anxiety. Just remember that your players are showing up at your table to play the game you’re running. They appreciate your games.

My most recent burst of anxiety started when I graduated from college and rejoined a secondary group I was in on Roll20. Let me tell you it's not fun to try to adapt to a completely new environment and a mostly new group at the same time. This time has been really bad about perceived player disengagement. My tip for this is run horror or comedy. Don't run for the sake of narrative for a while, focus on session to session stuff, maybe just run interconnected one-shots. Make your game about the experience of play. What I look for is the "Oh God" moment in my horror games, it happens almost every time at least once and I know I hit my mark when one of my players says it. Comedy is just looking to make people laugh, of course. It's a great exercise for learning to hit beats and look for reactions, and it really builds up your trust in the group.

I love that "theme song" for the players idea at the start of a session. Even with online play it could be handy because we usually do the whole "How are you guys doing? how was your week" type of chatter for a bit. That would put a time limit on it.

nice thing about battle map behind the dm screen is when you catch a player trying to take a peek, you know that one prefers that style, and perhaps might even make a good team captain for battle situations, maybe not so much for team captain for intelligent business nor even team captain for charisma social etc. adore the theme song !!! my characters playlist: all hammered dulcimer covers of classic metal, fumbling youth covers of classical orchestra, metal grind covers of OLD Disney songs, like Bear Necessities, Night on Bald Moiuntain, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Tom & Jerry...

I recently took a course on presentation skills, and one of the lessons was about what to do with difficult questions, and the advice was exactly the same as yours! Do not be afraid to admit that you do not know, but then let them know you'll get back to them later.

So good to hear about other folks' DM anxities. Mostly my anxiety came from combat encounters dragging on for too long and becoming boring. Sometimes it still happens, but I'm getting better at it. The second anxiety is accidentally designing a TPK. A homebrewn tough enemy that turns out to be too much in a situation with no escape routes? Yikes. That forgetting important details happened to me aaaalll the time when I started the campaign . Even major important plot elements! Even if I had notes prepared. Even if those notes had big arrows pointing to REMEMBER SHOE TREES. I constantly forgot important things. But after I got more comfortable with DMing, I relaxed and got better at remembering stuff. I think that happened when the strangers I found online turned into friends. I could dedicate all of my brain power into running the game, and not stressing the f--- out about having to talk to people. Nowadays I lean heavily into improvising. If the players only knew what kind of major events in the campaign were actually improvised because I forgot to prep for it... I feel like I'm pretty good at it most of the time. And it's fun for me, putting every synaps of my brain into work designing something major before the players are done talking. It's like jumping out of an airplane and putting on the parachute while plummeting to the earth. Those are the times when every stress in my real life fade away, for those glorious minutes.

"you can write out notes in long form instead of point form notes when you need to" was the DM advice I needed to hear the most ngl. I have watched so many DM advice videos and they always say "don't overprep". Despite not having the best improv skills I assumed only bad DMs write out long notes and good DMs improv off of point form notes. Thank you so much for this video, it has really helped me.

I've been DMing / GMing on and off for years, but I can relate to so much of this. Sometimes I feel like the clumsiest DM ever, I forget stuff, or don't know how to react when players do something crazy (because they _will_)... The one piece of advice I can give, that helps me is - know your world. Know who your NPCs are and what makes them tick. What motivates them, what do they believe, what will they tolerate and where will they draw the line. Know the cultures in your world. You don't need crazy amounts of detail, just enough to be able to paint a good picture for your players and to be able to figure out how people in your world will react when your game goes in an unexpected direction. A set of bullet points feels like about the right level of detail. One thing I have to watch out for is to not use the same old tropes over and over. Often I'll find myself coming back to the same old plots and sub-plots, and it's because they're comfy. But it's good to shake things up once in a while :)

"What age is year 3? 8? 9?" is the most relatably Australian thing

I ran my first session on Sunless Citadel a couple of months ago and I remember walking the characters out of Oakhurst and when they approached the ravine, I immediately thought 'this isn't going to go well and I don't know how to approach this'. I took a breath, had some water and remembered I was playing with my friends and family. As soon as I took the lead and started describing locations and had the first combat encounter (which I let them absolutely crush the enemy) everyone was smiles and I was having the greatest time.

As an "old guard" DM the best advice you gave is constant revisions and asking players what they liked and didn't. Bad sessions still happen and that process of "how can I make this better?" is eternal. But I like that about this hobby. Remember your players WANT to have fun!

Oh my GOD somebody finally said what has been in my head for SO LONG. FUCK.

OMG the idea of keeping the map behind the screen and only occasionally sharing it is brilliant

I've been DMing since 2009, and I still feel this way so often. Thank you for making this.

Over 20 years of facilitating games, and that feeling hasn't go away.

The closest I can think to explain it is when you're cooking your 's favourite recipe, and even if everybody likes it you've got such a firm idea of how this was supposed to go and it always felt so fundamental that you feel like you're screwing it up. Since we moved to online, I've taken to running combat in Roll20 even if they're not in it so I can keep track of everything, and writing a whole bunch of important info IN BIG LETTERS on the whiteboard next time me. There's still stuff I forget but it's better than it just being in my notes.

Sounds like the anxiety I feel as a teacher.

Thank you for this! Just checked in with my players yesterday and they didn't know what I was talking about. DMs: We are our own worst critics!

Great and important vid, Dael. You didn't just offer some great ideas, but also showing us your process for improving these things is an invaluable thing to see. Honestly, I don't think that sh%tty feeling ever really disappears if you care about your craft. It's a proper curse. I've been DM'ing for bout 18 years on and off, and I'm still shaking my head at things I've done in a session. Not a second later than finishing one, I'm thinking something like, "damn, I handled that tracking sequence through the forest like a bloody tax return! That was horrible!" DM'ing is a very difficult thing to do; but it is so rewarding, and worth the effort. And that feeling is a sign that you not only care about your craft, but that you care about the players at your table, and that they have fun. It is a noble pursuit, and one should be proud simply for giving it a go, let alone sticking to it. So remember, You ARE going to mess up time and time again, no matter how much you try not to. So learn to enjoy the journey of DM'ing, even as you run headlong into gelatinous cube after gelatinous cube. Cos we Dm's have ta has fun at the table too, and fun is infectious.

This honestly was such a well needed video I feel for someone right now! Thank you so much T>T

I love the theme songs idea! I do this in one of my games because a few players just them to me, and they’ve worked very well for indicating who is the focus of a particular scene. Great for helping me make sure everyone has their time in the spotlight!

Great resource video ill be revisiting from time to time... and that's coming from a 25 year veteran DM/GM. The games/rules, DM styles, play styles and what I put in and want out of the game have all changed wildly over the years. Feeling/knowing when change with the flow or push back, or go outside the box makes a fun game for everyone.

One session I ran happened when the DM couldn't make it and I offered to run an incomplete mission I had plan and the players went off in a way I hadn't even thought of, I threw up my arms said, "we're going fast and lose" and we had the most fun in a game I had run up to that point lol. They knew I wasn't prepared and I was ok with it as I came up with things on the fly. I've done my best to incorporate a more organic DM style that is very reactive to the players and I have been having a blast since.

The feeling doesn't go away, for me its attached to if you and your players gel Its been 11 years for me One of the things I find really amplifies the anxiety is running something written by someone else, or something over-prepared - basically something outside of your comfort zone

Been our all time Dm now for 10 years. My biggest tip is not to take criticism too seriously. Work on what you can improve and roll with it. You will never be the next Matt Mercer but you can always use his skills as a way to improve your own. One thing that I believe made me a better Dm was learning to read your players. If you can physically see that they aren't having fun then make a change. D&D is a game after all and it should be fun. Your job as a DM is to make sure your players AND you are having fun. If that's not happening a change needs to be made. If you need to change a rule to make things more fun then do it!

I've been dm'ing for about 2 years and actually ran a desire today where beforehand I was so stressed and felt like it would stuck and everyone would hate it. It was actually a lot of fun and my players liked it. I've noticed that prepping on paper and writing stuff out by hand and being able to organize the loose pages as we move from one thing to another really helps me to be more flexible.

Always a good day when you upload, thank you😃

Thanks for making this video! I’ve been experiencing this a lot myself recently and hearing your input on DM Anxiety has been great. I love the theme songs idea, I’m absolutely gonna try that out!

This was terrific. Good job.

amazing video!! could we also talk about how Dael Kingsmill is 100% one of the coolest important-NPC names I've ever heard?

I have been DMing 1-2 campaigns every week for about 10 years. I still get this feeling, it never really goes away.

Thank you for this video Dael, I’ve had sessions that have made me feel like this, and this video just made me think about how I can make it more fun for me and my players in tandem

Excellent video Miss Dael. Thank you for all the work you put into this KZfaq channel.

What a fantastic video. You expressed everything I’ve been feeling. These ideas to try are so helpful. Thank you.

I like to make little box texts for the very beginning of the session, and for speeches or descriptions that I consider important. Also the bit about just being honest when you don't have something prepared is great. It is important because you can validate your player's question, as oposed to just saying no or "whatever".

Solidly great video! I always look forward to your videos. "Settling into your style" - what a great way to look at it! You covered all the bases for me - prep, improv, answers I don't know, everything - just brilliant. Thank you so much.

One big thing i would like to pass along to help manage this feeling: talk to your players post game. "What did you like/dislike. What would you like more of?" And a big one is secretly ask where they think they're going in game. It will help show if they are engaged or not, and also help you plan for what interests them. If your players are engaged and happy it is a MASSIVE help to getting rid of the "I'm a bad DM feeling". Cheers guys

One way to really help find your DMing style is to play a lot of different games that are not D&D, and even different versions of D&D. A while back my style had a dramatic shift after playing OSR style games, and that was after a decade of DMing.

OMG you totally lift my mood every time I listen to you I can literally listen to you talk for hours and hours. Thank you!!

The hour before a game is the most stressful time of the week for me. Making sure that everything is either set up or I have enough random names for all the npcs my chaotic crew is going to go off the rails to meet, fills me with so much anxiety. My recent strategy is to use dmheroes.com/ you can randomly generate a quick portrait and traits. Makes coming up with random NPCs so much easier. What tricks does everyone else use to minimize their pregame anxiety?

This video could not have come out at a better time

Ive been looking so long for what I call my feelin’s about dming. This hit the marks perfectly lol. Thanks so much

This should not be a problem. Not for me. Yet here I stand. A miracle to behold! I really like that quote. With a bit of tweaks, might be a fun thing for the villain to say about the players.

I'm fairly new to DMing too (less than 2 years I'd say?) and this was such a wonderful and reassuring video. Thanks for making it!

This video is fuggin good, really got me into hyped mood to continue working on a game im dming currently. Thank you for this!

20 years and I still get hideous anxiety. But my players make it worthwhile cos they are honest and tell me what works and what doesn't.

I've started running my friends through Curse of strahd, I'm a very new DM (ran mines of phandelver for my sisters) And I get incredibly anxious beforehand. Luckily my best friend has been dming for an adventures league for years and he's been so supportive and such a massive help. And he knows every rulebook back to front so whenever I have a question he has every answer. I found talking to him and checking in with my players after each session has really helped me make sure everyone is having fun!

Even as an 20+ year DM, I rarely stop and think about my dming style... Video like this are a good oppotunity for that! Thank you!

This is such good advice. It even inspired me to make my own video talking about a slightly different view and solutions on this topic.

Putting the best stuff up front in the video! I always appreciate this style with Colville. Good!

Thanks Dael, I’ve been DMing off and on since 1982 and this advice is helping me through my own crisis. I’m realizing that the game I try to DM is not necessarily the game my players are looking for. That’s a hard lesson for a DM.

This video just gets to the core of me. I just thought I was always underprepared, that there would be some bit of a information that I wouldn't know and I would flounder. I've literally said "I'm so bad at this; I'm wasting everyone's time" in my head. Wonderful video. Thank you. Gives me a lot of perspective.

Something that I've come to terms with recently, which may be helpful for others to hear as well: "Just because you can think of a better way to have run something with hindsight, doesn't mean the way you ran it was bad."

Running theater of the mind with a map in front of only the DM is very much the way many of us ran combats in the 2E days.

Thanks for the video Dael. Great advice.

The playlist idea is great!

Knowing I'm not the only one who experiences this is a HUGE help in itself! Great info - Thank you!

Thank you so much for bringing this up, and talking about what you do, and what works for you, and what is still hard. I've been playing RPGs for 30 years now, and every time I run a game, I still feel like some combination of improve troupe actor and school teacher.

I totally also highlight just the important bits in notes. I highlight with different colors. Orange is an important but, blue is treasure, beige is an npc description, etc etc. It personally helps me.

I had so much anxiety for running my first dnd session, and that was for my family, some of the most accepting people I know. It took me a while to just chill out and have fun with it. To any new dms: just relax. Your players will have fun with whatever you present them with, and sometimes they help with building the world as you go.

I never lost that feeling until another DM took a break and joined my session and complimented me on how I ran it. DM on and off since '84.

I really relate to the descriptions side of things. The number of times I have forgotten details or skipped over important things at the start of a fight is ridiculous, hell I did it last session and now I might have to try and dig myself out of a hole. This video dropped just as I started trying to get myself into a better place for the next few sessions so perfect timing.

I just wanted to really thank you for posting this. I just started an avatar the last air bender campaign that I have worked on from scratch for about a year and we had our first session on Thursday. I didn’t feel great about it, especially as you mentioned the “combat drag”. I’m totally gonna try some of these techniques you mentioned in the video. Anyways, you helped me alleviate some of the anxiety that went with DM’ing so thank you.

The last game I DMed before I reluctantly quit.... ended abruptly because two of my players died inside a volcano as they were hunting down a sorcerer who was holding the island they were occupying hostage. I spent several sessions prior emphasizing how DANGEROUS this mission was and how they should consider preparation for scaling the mountain, entering the volcano and ultimately fighting the deadly sorcerer. When two of the players were killed they blew up at me, yelled at me and complained about how bullshit it was that they died. I spent roughly 5-10 hours a week prepping for their enjoyment and hearing those complaints destroyed me internally and has made me swear off DMing completely. I'll be sticking to being a player from now on. Respect to Dael and all other DMs. I never realized how stressful being a Dungeon Master was.

I've been DMing for about 6 years and during the pandemic started doing so professionally. I can totally relate to a lot of these feelings and found that a lot of my anxiety was relieved when I have myself permission to pause the game and figure something out. My clients are all groups of friends and no one has ever complained when I've been like, "this was very unexpected! Gimme five mins." The players have a chance to chat about random shit, or even better, discuss their plans and where they think things are going. Another thing I've found super helpful in not ending up with the feeling of "ugh was I just boring tonight" is to remind myself all the time that the game is about singular moments of drama and intrigue. I'm a big planner and love my set pieces. That said, finding little micro moments to describe something mysterious and evoke a feeling of what's happening in the moment pretty much constantly helps me make memorable moments that mean less of that "was today any good?" feeling.