"I am the eating and the eating is all there is" is the most accurate description of every individual moment of my life. People tell me to "live in the present" and have no idea that living in the present is all I've ever been able to do and it's such a rollercoaster. When you're sad, sadness is all that exists and ever has. When you're happy, you've never known suffering. When others are near you, you are them and nothing else. When you are alone, you are the tree that falls in the forest without a sound. I spent a whole 15 minutes typing this out and rewording it, and for this span of time, I have been this youtube comment.
@Satan666Official3 жыл бұрын
Wow, I operate just this way too! Every moment is a new transformative experience. Even small things, like watching a butterfly or reading. I get asked a lot how I have so much insight without dedicating myself to spiritual/mindfulness practices, and just like you, all I've known is becoming the action! Thank you for your comment, you have a beautiful way with words 😊💚
@arasharfa3 жыл бұрын
my biggest pain has been having my interests traumatised by a very severe burnout and several huge artistic and professional setbacks. I went into a deep burnout for years and the smallest thought of my interests would trigger intense panic. I have finally started to find my way back to joyful creativity after about 7 years of intense almost daily suffering. I feel much older now. thank you for your words.
@michelevisser68113 жыл бұрын
hi. thanks for sharing this. i am an artist and relate very very strongly to what you wrote. x
@annaspringbear3 жыл бұрын
Ah I associate so much with this 💚
@Duskieman083 жыл бұрын
I think I'm there. Any advice on how to get out?
@arasharfa3 жыл бұрын
@@Duskieman08 I’ve had to practice patience, I’ve had to adapt to the way I actually function and what FEELS good to do on a sensory level, and slowly let it accumulate. I reconnected with my biggest motivator in life which is beauty, and I’ve looked at the necessities of daily life and analysed them as an artistic challenge to see how I can engage in them and beautify them. I started eating healthily when I found joy in the curiosity of trying out weird food combinations I’ve never thought of, I have had to confront my internalised ableism, I’ve had to let go of societies expectations of what good art is and is not and look to its immediate effect it has on my well being. I still don’t sew, but I am drawing again, as I don’t have to battle the frustration of the triggers that come with unwanted sensory input. Do the thing that comes easily, whatever it may be, and do it as much as you have energy for, let it become a moment of flow, we’re not built to be constantly productive, sometimes months pass without any lust to craft, I’m better at holding my creativity like a bird in the palm of my hand. Your inspiration is sacred, it doesnt owe you anything, it will come when you allow it. It WILL come back. I promise. If I can improve anyone can. I love you
@justinodowd41823 жыл бұрын
I have no idea what I look like and am shocked when I see a photo.
@SarahDale1113 жыл бұрын
I remember seeing photos of myself and I didn't recognize me. 😶
@myzhoujai3 жыл бұрын
I know exactly what you mean!
@ellamounts3 жыл бұрын
I'm having my ASD assessment in June and I have no freaking idea what to tell somebody about myself. I have no map of myself in my mind that I can just show to someone. I'm an expert in my field and you could wake me up in the middle of the night to ask me anything to do with it or let me help you with a case, but I am not aware of myself enough to tell you anything that goes beyond the current situation. And even if you asked me what was going on inside me right now, I'd have to think about it for a good moment or two.
@MothLand3 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU. I've been trying to say this for years. I have no self. I exist. That's all. In my brain, i have no body or vessel. I have nothing but what im doing. I don't have or lack self esteem. I don't remember that i exist enough to feel good or bad about myself. I just am. I can't relate to people because my experiences arent framed in my brain in the same way as NT's. The basis of my thinking is vastly different to other people
@MothLand3 жыл бұрын
I don't even remember how I look or sound like. I didn't know I had hazel eyes until middle school
@ryn28443 жыл бұрын
I was extremely sceptical when this was recommended to me given the title, but damn, that all other/no self and all self/no other thing really flippin applies to me. I'm either focused entirely on what someone else wants from me and fulfilling that and can't even think about myself, OR I'm soulsearching or focused on information and am not able to simultaneously focus on another human. This is why I can't study in groups. I can't focus on a thing while also being aware of a person near me. I have to shut one of the two out. This is part of why I have such immense trouble talking about myself and my feelings. I can't decipher what I'm feeling AND think about how another human is feeling at the same time. Thanks for this. This video puts it into words for me. I knew this was true about me, I just didn't know anybody else was like this too, and there were words to describe it. Also obviously the empathy thing applies too, but I already knew about that, that wasn't new information. I still need to find a way to cope with all of the suffering in the world weighing me down because I experience too much empathy. Am open to tips. Gotta get rid of this damn depression somehow.
@evinnra27793 жыл бұрын
Since you asked for it, here is a tip; as long as you do what is your role, what is your responsibility, you have done PRECISELY as much as your supposed to do. Take care of your own environment and God willing, the world will look after it self.
@ryn28443 жыл бұрын
@@evinnra2779 Hmm that does leave me with a question though. How do you know what is your role and your responsibility? Edit: Actually, thank you for reaching out and trying to help, but I think I'll have to look for non-religious advice, elsewhere. You see, the problem is that I believe in the theory of evolution, and I don't believe in a God. This logically leads to the conclusion that I don't believe there is a higher power preordaining a role or a responsibility for me, so that is something I will have to define for myself. I also see you're subscribed to Paul Joseph Watson, Jordan Peterson and Tim Pool. Given that, you quite possibly don't approve of my existence in general, seeing as I'm nonbinary transgender. So if the role or responsibility you had in mind for me was to raise kids or provide for a family, depending on which gender you assumed I had, welll... tough luck for me I guess. Ugh, I don't fit into this world. Why am I still here.
@evinnra27793 жыл бұрын
@@ryn2844 You assume too much, maybe that's what makes you feel you don't fit in.
@ryn28443 жыл бұрын
@@evinnra2779 I didn't assume anything. I said 'possibly'. It was a likely possibility. If it isn't true, then I'm glad. And no, that's not why I feel I don't fit in. There are a lot of reasons why I feel like that, but that isn't one of them.
@sunnybein1 Жыл бұрын
Look into an Interoception curriculum for yourself..it will help you to identify WHAT YOU are feeling and to express it.
@bryanmerton51533 жыл бұрын
I feel like I just had a master class. Beautiful! I can’t tell what people are feeling but once I find out then I am very caring. I also feel the weight of the worlds problems. I think more then most of my friends.
@Thomas-ze7iy3 жыл бұрын
Yes, the weight of the world problems. Sometimes I feel very lonely with this feeling.
@QlueDuPlessis3 жыл бұрын
I feel for the World's people as a whole. This is interesting as an idea. It kinda explains why I have such a hard time understanding race. All people are one.
@josiah423 жыл бұрын
Thanks for articulating this. I've been trying to put this same experience into words for a while. Since language is the currency of shared experience, internal realities are very hard to convey with words alone.
@cristinaroe21663 жыл бұрын
You have made a very good point there that I've not heard many others make. I feel I'm very empathic. However, I also have been criticized for not having a strong sense of self. I didn't realize until I went to therapy that others didn't operate in my way. As you say, I would get lost in my strong enthusiasms, whether they directly affected me or not. I felt NTs to be selfish and egotistical because it seemed that they and not the love of the subject was central. And yes. Sometimes I feel boring because I don't always have an opinion or like/dislike on certain issues and I'm always stumped when people ask my preferences because I don't really have favorites and find it hard to compare. For example in music, my taste was very ecclectic, whilst NTs always, seemed to have a favourite group, singer or be a devotee of a particular genre. To me, well arranged and played music is good. I see the talent, not the formula so to speak. Do others share this?
@sjoerdbrouwer98223 жыл бұрын
I can relate to this in some extent. When listening to conversations and stuff so much seems superficial and just people talking about themselves. I can also relate to the feeling of not having any strong feelings about anything at all. But somewhat paradoxically also sometimes feel like I'd like to have an opinion on anything at all just to find something that's really "me" to relate to. Much like a special interest but in a more NT way.
@Satan666Official3 жыл бұрын
Very unique view of autism! I would like to add to this idea too: Despite lacking the 'I' in our head in regards to others, I discovered that 'I' is the entity perceiving my ideas, and transforming them into language to speak. The 'I' is what makes change exist. 'I' decide to focus, or not to focus, or walk and not to walk. A great example of 'I' being "change" is mind over matter. At the end of the day, lacking an ego, or even partially, seems to have some incredible benefits. Thank you for your video!
@JoseMeeusen3 жыл бұрын
Very interesting thoughts, thank you Christian. I've always felt "different", as if I don't belong to this world. But at the other hand I've also been puzzled about how other people see me. I once asked my therapist (I was treated for depression) and she joked: "I'll ask my magic ball..." I have no clue what other people think of me and it makes me feel very insecure about my place in the world. Two years ago at the age of 70 I discovered that I have Aspergers and now know I cannot "change" (as therapists wanted me to), just have to learn to live and cope with it.
@Truerealism747 Жыл бұрын
Have you had any illness linked from.qutism for myself fybromyalgia symptoms CFS lead me to be diagnosed hypomobility Asperger's
@bradfieldization3 жыл бұрын
Hi Christian, I don't generally comment on YT but I want to let you know I especially enjoy your ways of thinking & articulating your autistic experience. My first contact with your work was through your video of 4 years ago, "What Life Is Like...". I resonate completely with your description of experiencing the inter-relationship of "everything". When that video came to me last year, I was immersed in Alan Watts' descriptions of Taoist / Buddhist experience of Being. I have always been drawn to exploration of "realities" and awareness of Being, and have pursued this intuitively over many decades through various "mystic" viewpoints and experiential psychologies such as shamanism, Tantra, Buddhist awareness, many of which confirm my experience of "self" as "I am just a Thing that Happens". I'm more interested in the ideas and perceptions of these approaches to Being, and the practical applications, than any of the "spiritual" subtexts they have accumulated. Your articulation of your experience shares a language with some of my favourite thinkers eg writer / ontologist Robert Anton Wilson (in his "Cosmic Trigger" trilogy, also Quantum Psychology and Prometheus Rising), Terence McKenna (a master of articulating vast perceptions of how humans construct realities), Alan Watts and Richard Bandler (who co-created the NeuroLinguistic Programming model). There are many others, of course. Today when I found this particular video about Self, you mentioned Donna Williams' book, which I am just in the process of re-reading, because she also extends her thinking into these realms of "pure" Being-ness. Anyway, thank you for your excellent descriptions, your intuitive intellect and your confirmation for me that autism can be expressed in these metacognitive ways. You offer really intelligent insight in a world dominated by lazy, superficial, habituated ignorance.
@The_Vanished Жыл бұрын
That is so funny when you talked about being autistic and just sitting there, i had that for the first time once i was treated for adhd with stimulant medication. It was just one of the best experiences to just be able to finally see clearly for the first time in 40 years. I finally had no intrusive thoughts and it just felt so comforting for the first time. Then everyone around me said they hated me. I guess that was the first time my autistic self really was truly apparent and free of the constant change of attention focus.
@jancerny81093 жыл бұрын
For whatever it's worth, I've been told I'm on the spectrum and have never, not once, "lost myself" in what I'm doing. Also, for those who do achieve a state of concentration, or flow, that just means optimal experience--the silencing of the complaining, ego-obsessed voice in your head. Finally, saying "you too" after being told to enjoy your food is a simple malapropism that probably has more to do with misfiring reflexes than anything else--when someone extends good wishes, you either say "thank you," or "and you as well," or their equivalents. It's just jumping the wrong way; it doesn't mean a lack of ego structure.
@Satan666Official3 жыл бұрын
I think he was using the "enjoy your meal" and "you too" as an example to help people understand his point of view, not a proof of the hypothesis. As for not losing yourself in a task, I do find that interesting. I am on the spectrum and often lose awareness of myself when focused on a task. I'll forget to eat, use the bathroom, take a shower, etc. Overall, I will only pay attention to the action I am doing, without thought, and am not wondering how I feel about it. How do you maintain awareness of yourself while remaining focused on something external?
@thehumblevegpatch39903 жыл бұрын
I happened across this video by sheer luck and very much needed to hear it today.
@jojozepofthejungle26553 жыл бұрын
Aspergers here and I am self aware, actually so self aware that I see others as unattached. The trick is to study psychology and human behavior if you are aspergers.
@jenlovesthisstuff3 жыл бұрын
I agree! A long-term special interest of mine has been personality disorders. Becoming aware of patterns of behavior in disordered people has helped me to avoid potential abuse from those who would otherwise bully or manipulate me.
@jojozepofthejungle26553 жыл бұрын
@Robert Smith scanning for problems in people only happens shortly after beginning study in the first year. That shit dwindles once in the second year. But yeah I remember that 🙃😂
@jenlovesthisstuff3 жыл бұрын
@Robert Smith Yes, you are right! Special interests choose us! We can't get hyperfocused on something we are not even interested in.
@Buttondor3453 жыл бұрын
I’m not diagnosed yet but (suspect) though I don’t want to self-diagnose. Can relate so much to this behavioural biology is one of my interests
@stefan10243 жыл бұрын
Very smart thoughts. I'm not sure if I'd agree with your definition of a "self", but I share the experiences you describe. I'd say that every self is sort of a permeable, absorbent, diffuse, somehow constructed thing, not something with well defined borders. While autistic people might lose themselves on the object level and on the pure empathic or emotional level, NTs might lose themselves on the social level. I don't see a clear cut between autistic people and NTs anyways, both a part of the same contious spectrum.
@Xianomega3 жыл бұрын
That's a good way to put it!
@stefan10243 жыл бұрын
@@Xianomega Glad you agree, normally people just ignore it when I say stuff like that. :D
@ToniAnnBarandon3 жыл бұрын
Great description. Sounds like the ego-mind/relative self is fused with the absolute self, but without self-awareness. Very much the way chidren are before forming a "separate identity". Some people then develop a sense of a separate self. And some become supraconscious (aware of self as awareness/conscious itself), then the separate self and absolute self become one, again. There seems to be a progression we can go through, developmentally (we meaning humans). And we all go through this developmental progression at different rates, reaching different levels of consciousness. On a spectrum. The spectrum of Consciousness.
@josiah423 жыл бұрын
That sounds good on the surface, but please allow me to challenge two assumptions behind that perspective. 1) It's assuming that everyone is on the same developmental path. ASD may not be simply delayed, but truly divergent experiences of reality. See for example "In my language" (silentmiaow) video. 2) It assumes that the later stages are in some way better than the earlier ones, and not damaged anxious, degraded versions. I for one, would happily trade my 30 year old consciousness for my 18 year old consciousness for the same reasons people want a younger body. A lack of self experience comes with the ability to turn off pain, deal logically with crises, listen calmly to others, and do unpleasant tasks because it's the right thing to do. There's a reasons it's sought after.
@ToniAnnBarandon3 жыл бұрын
@@josiah42 Hi Josiah. Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I made no assumptions, nor do I consider any "stage" better than any other. A spectrum, in my view, means all degrees along the spectrum are relative, and of equal value. Simply a different experience. As for the rest of your comment, they seem to be in the realm of the ego, which tends to occur when one looks for or finds identity in thought. Consciousness precedes thought. It is what notices thoughts arising, notices desires. Is witness to all things, such as having an emotion, or awareness of the ability to turn them off. At our core, we are consciousness itself. Consciousness IS the self. I love the depth of self-discovery and the path the OP is on. With some more digging, he may discover that the very thing noticing that he doesn't have a "self", IS his true self.
@lindawheldon97753 жыл бұрын
What a balm. Thank you.
@malapropia9 ай бұрын
I wish I had seen this video when I first figured out I was autistic, about six months ago. I've been saying this about the self-other structure and there is so little validation for it, maybe because there is so little popular understanding of self as necessarily being also about other. Thank you for saying it so clearly. This is validating. I am so sick of people lecturing me about living in the present when I feel either stuck in the present or disassociated into the eternal! I've been working up to making videos, too, and this is very encouraging. Literally. It is giving me courage. It takes audacity in this world to say such things.
@maebo7623 жыл бұрын
Brilliant, brilliant video. You describe perfectly what I've always felt but never heard anyone word it quite like this. Thank you! Can't wait to check out your other content. 😊
@jonmustang2 ай бұрын
Hey, this was fantastic! You're right, some of these states you're describing are similar to the liberated blissfulness that meditators have sought for millennia. The "I am this body, I am this person" is the ego sense and in advanced states of consciousness of great yogis, they've realized that the thoughts of "I am this body, I am these thoughts, I am this person" will fade away in deepest meditation. The "real I" one might say is the being or pure consciousness, no self, no other. Could it be that some autistic folks have less of the "false I" ego sense than most other folks? Fascinating theory.
@dizzeeg75283 жыл бұрын
I'm newly diagnosed asd and in the prosses of working out if I have adhd to. Unfortunately for me I cant sit there and just take in the world in a meditative like state, I have a racing mind to say the least. I enjoyed the video, would love to see one on ego or lack of it regarding asd you frame things in a interesting fashion.
@dexterwaxler3 жыл бұрын
This is monumental. A radical reframing of the fundamental understanding of autistic consciousness. It rings so true to me, and helped me feel better about some of the things I do and ways I am. Now I want to read that book you mentioned. Anyway I hope this video reaches a lot more people, I think it's really good and important.
@monikakrall39222 жыл бұрын
Yes, absolutely, infodumping is not about showing off, like probably an NT would do,but about enthusiasm to share information and assuming that the other is interested in it too, and yes in that situation there is No other...
@sarahcunniffe46783 жыл бұрын
Amazing post! The eloquence of a philosopher and the observation of a scientist rolled into one. I'm going to show this to a couple of NTs at work and see if they understand me better. Thanks 👍 on my subscribed list.
@cristinachaliandroi13692 жыл бұрын
That expession that everybody uses of "be(ing)yourself "it 's almost hilarious !who you really are to be that .If you are anything you dont think that thing ,you are that thing.Cats dont say "well today im gonna be myself ".They just are what they are.
@Ngasha3 жыл бұрын
What you describe as the absorption of just being, sure sounds a lot like samadhi or sat-chit-ananda in Sanatana Dharma/Advaita Vedanta (Hinduism).
@tanyakuzmichАй бұрын
Brilliant insights! Really glad I've found your channel.
@tiddlypom20973 жыл бұрын
I've been saying something very similar about self/other focus! It's exciting to see other people thinking along the same lines. I've been assuming it's due to the detail focus vs big picture - I can only focus on one thing at a time, but I can switch (or flip): a) an idea I'm thinking about b) what I'm feeling in my body c) what someone else is saying d) what someone else is feeling So I can have extreme empathy at one time, but info dump another time (and these days eventually become aware I'm making someone uncomfortable)
@Daimo83 Жыл бұрын
I haven't been diagnosed but I am acutely aware that my consciousness has a lacking, an emptiness, or an inverted focus that other people don't. So my search brought me here.
@ArderiLazuli3 жыл бұрын
I think this was all very well said. Much appreciated.
@jenlovesthisstuff3 жыл бұрын
thanks to the algorithm, I just discovered your channel. Subbed! Thankyou my fellow Aspie 😊
@ronaldlogan35253 жыл бұрын
I would rather guess that memory (very short term memory) does not register our motives which are often missing because our responses tend to be automatic rather than intentional. For the person who is always overthinking the situation, re-examining motives, the memory of why you said a certain thing is missing, so the brain makes something up and that feels like a memory. At this juncture the view point of a thought gets lost in the noise. We lose the context of whether we have an opinion at all, or if so, what that opinion might have been. But since the memory of the impulse to say or do something is often devoid of any true motive, we try to assign a meaning to that impulse, which may have had none to begin with. It is only in the absence of a reliable prediction model for making a determination about our communication style and methods, whether we are being effective, or correct, that we get confused and then attempt to rationalize the inner workings of our consciousness. This can become a problem if we are concerned about authenticity which we can never truly define. This would not be a problem for us except it seems to us that other people have no problem defining it (which may not be true).
@orbismworldbuilding84282 жыл бұрын
I was skeptical when i saw the title, but the more it went on the more o recognized that it's true to my experience
@emka198 Жыл бұрын
Such a beautiful way to explain this experience. Thank you.
@raphaelwasserbaur1293 жыл бұрын
Excellent talking! What a good speaker you are and I love when there aren't any cuts. But maybe you could improve the visibility of the blackboard next time.
@Xianomega3 жыл бұрын
Thank you! I've since switched to a whiteboard.
@bogeyworman61023 жыл бұрын
this is fascinating and I can't wait to watch more of your videos. Something I have noticed is the dropping of the word "i" when speaking/writing. As in, saying "going to the park tomorrow, want to take some photos for the book". When talking about myself in the past tense, I sometimes use she/they. Never knew why, but this seems like a strong hypothesis considering other evidence, like having to intentionally change the framing of myself in speech and thought so I don't use phrases like "i am lazy" or "i am not good at writing" or even "I am kind" to "i am practicing taking my time/practicing writing/practicing kindness" because if I am practicing, then "I" am active and evolving rather than being. I hope that makes sense.
@theGhostSteward Жыл бұрын
I often thought on how quickly people could articulate their wants and needs, what they like and "are" while I had to learn this over time, really study my preferences and "who I am". And I get into some panic over "who I am". And with time I take quizes and used anchors to remember that and deal with other stuff but some of this never leave me. I get the feeling my sense of self is very flexible and I had to "anchor it" with things.... Now I think maybe autism is one of rhe reasons. And to that I thank you.
@olgarome31703 жыл бұрын
I love your way of looking at it. Searching for self is very tiring. Funny - I have always felt that saying I love cinema was very intimate thing to say.... cinema is my special interest)
@xxdeathxx98362 жыл бұрын
This is a very interesting way of looking at self in autism. I have it and I can get very lost in my interest. Hours can pass without me even realizing it.
@Thought.I.Was.Clever2 жыл бұрын
This was amazing. Your presentation is fantastic.
@dallassurfersclub8872 Жыл бұрын
It also depends on how much you are on the spectrum. For me, I'm so absorbed in what I'm doing sometimes that I forget myself. But I think about my identity a lot sometimes as well. Sometimes I'm also hyper aware of how I am interacting with others and how my actions affect them and how they affect me. Sometimes, I "become what I am doing" like you said. It depends on how passionate I am about it.
@campbell9535 ай бұрын
this is so true about the way i feel when I'm listening to music in my headphones in public and i start dancing a bit like everyone else can hear it too but actually I do look very odd haha
@ItsDaHoots2 жыл бұрын
Being the verb makes a lot of sense to me I do often feel that all else about me momentarily ceases to exist when not active because I am not doing that other activity I am my role, my activity, in the current moment
@expat12500903 жыл бұрын
Subscribed! You put it so eloquently!
@stefanieallen46453 жыл бұрын
This is the best I've heard my experience described. Most of my life I've been no self all other, and sometimes (when playing piano/special interests) I'm all self no other And it's incredibly difficult to do self and other simultaneously I'm not sure I've ever done it oh dear 😅
@beingme72356 ай бұрын
I hate it when I am asked how I am when there is no me and no world. and so I am forced to come back
@lorenzmenke31213 жыл бұрын
Yes I think our special interest defines us.
@user-yq8ck8yf3u6 ай бұрын
This maybe why I finish the task of eating first at a table with others unless I control for this.
@MetricScout3 жыл бұрын
Good work! I love your perspective!
@melissarain69653 жыл бұрын
I don't think it's a disorder at all. I believe it's evolution. We are wonderfully made different!
@Truerealism747 Жыл бұрын
Trouble is it wears us out in this world
@hils227873 жыл бұрын
Fellow autistic here... am I understanding what you’ve said: Autistics are more likely to be existing in the moment. And autistics tend feel the world is an extension of self-thus the “you too”? And also... Do you think trauma can complicate this way of thinking? At first, I thought I somewhat disagree with what you said but given further thought I think what I disagree with has more to do with trauma and being forced to try and not be or think like my self. Thus I am hyper aware of both my self and others self and how others view or see me. Or would that be apart of “all other” or would that fall under different types of empathy used as a means for survival due to trauma..? I definitely understand the whole ‘Being in the moment’. This part of existence I feel can be wonderful too.
@autisticdemensions42333 жыл бұрын
Interesting. I just kinda thought everything else had this issue but didn’t pay attention to it. I am building an identity but it’s only though resistance to everything around me. I used to consciously aware of “mirroring” others emotions and it was so overwhelming bc of all the pain I feel from, even history books... just felt threatening bc when I feel it it’s too much.
@catherinejohnson24893 жыл бұрын
Thank you Christian!! You just did it for me thank you.
@catherinejohnson24893 жыл бұрын
wow you set off a lot of folks, this is good stuff
@clairehamiltonrussell39023 жыл бұрын
So I’m an autistic adult and this sounds very obviously like like he’s overgeneralising *horrendously* from a very severe masking issue. I have a very strong sense of self I feel is intrinsically autistic. I remember feeling compromised and lacking in integrity at multiple points in my twenties because of the number and force of demands for masking I was continuously under, which were, thank gods, much more chaotic and less monolithic than what this person has grown up under as a Mormon (alumni of Brigham Young University, which is a Mormon institution.) I may have felt broken for my inability to be the person demanded and inability to do things I kept on being assured were so easy they couldn’t believe they had to explain them, but at least I didn’t lose myself like this. I really feel this person’s broken model needs to be limited for the potential harm it could cause, but if there’s a way to do it that could mean gently making him see this results from trauma rather than his neurology and means he needs help, that needs to be done.
@alyssahansen14003 жыл бұрын
Very informative, thank you.
@aldidons3 жыл бұрын
You have interesting insight, but it's not about self, but about ego, which is social/cultural identity created to communicate with other people or to just fit in to function smoothly in the society. but lacking clear ego/identity doesn't mean you lack sense of self.
@a_diamond3 жыл бұрын
Hmmmm.. I think everyone has this from time to time. I very much feel like I have an "I".. Maybe it's not the same for everyone.. I am glad you find a sense of relief in your mindset. I'm just not sure of that same mindset fits me.
@TheDavveponken2 жыл бұрын
While I've experienced the meditative state you're talking about I find it hard to do on a daily basis due to irritable circumstances and societal expectations and demands. Also trauma from growing up undiagnosed in a family that was/is (most likely also autistic) unable to give emotional validation (if any).
@TheDavveponken Жыл бұрын
It's interesting when youtube recommends you stuff you watched a long time ago and everything has changed since. I am now of the belief that autism is in fact just emotional neglect and maladaptive behaviour from our parents. I took stimulants for my supposed adhd and now I can't experience that meditative state anymore. I am now but a shadow of my former self.
@sunnybein1 Жыл бұрын
@@TheDavveponken your ‘beliefs’ about Autism are very misguided…from a mother who has always validated her child’s feelings and is currently teaching him about his Interoception system and how to support his Alexithymia. Your parents may have been emotional neglectful but your beliefs-you can apply them to yourself but not to Autism itself.Autistics have always been here-read up on some historical Autistic figures to put your assumptions, generalisations and projections to bed.
@TheDavveponken Жыл бұрын
@@sunnybein1 I find it pretty sad that you were triggered enough by my sincere comments that you felt the need to "shut down" a guy apparently deeply hurt by prescription drugs for his supposed "neurodivergent" tendencies. I've done my research and no amount of made-up conditions linked to so-called autism is going to convince me otherwise that autistic traits aren't primarily coping mechanisms for trauma (and trauma is to be understood as subjectively traumatic). It's great that you validate your child, but if you in any way talk to your child the way you just addressed me I can assure you, it's abusive. Now kindly fuck off.
@zventus13 жыл бұрын
Fantastic Video, thank you for putting all these experiences into words!!!
@monikakrall39222 жыл бұрын
We, autistics are on another level, if higher beings like Bashar and Kryon say so......our frequency is different, we are humanities future self, much more advance.....Just enjoy whatever you can, focus on what you can :)
@tommyw53323 жыл бұрын
So, I’m not really sure how I fall on things. I do often get a sense that I have no feeling at all. I definitely sit and become the void, and my special interests usually allow me to enter a world where I’m just doing calculations or entering a flow state, so to speak. That’s really my favorite thing about them - I want to dissolve away into that, and that’s why I do it, probably. That said, when it comes to emotions, I feel pretty stunted. There’s been big events in my life where I haven’t really felt anything - or at least I can’t describe them. I think maybe it’s like the emotions are too big, and I just short circuit. It’s like I go into robot mode, and I’m just waiting to get to the next task or mode. In the moment, though, it really feels like nothing; and in fact, my mental ability breaks down such that there’s really no thoughts present either (or at least decreased processing). When I see other people in a state of deep emotion, my first reaction isn’t to feel what they feel (which isn’t so true when I’m watching TV or movies - if I see someone else cry, I will most likely cry, etc). If I see someone cry in real life, I’m not so much affected by it. I know I don’t want them to feel bad, and I might try to help them feel better, but I’m not so affected by them that I will break down as well. I go more into problem solving mode, and it very much seems from my own after-the-fact deconstruction of it, that my emotions are set offline, and I go into next instruction mode. I just had an autism assessment yesterday, and I’m waiting for the results. The doctor said some of the tests were inconclusive, but some others were pretty consistent with an individual on the spectrum. So, maybe it turns out I’m just sociopathic or something similar. I’m not really sure (which is why I sought out a professional). I don’t feel like I am (I generally want others to be happy and for me to not be the cause of their distress), and I consistently score high on ASD tests while scoring low to average on sociopathy tests, but anyway...
@PixelPi3 жыл бұрын
That's an interesting way to frame it, I also do the thing you described with the waiter too, I'll have to cogitate on this more. Can I ask why two of your degrees are crooked in the frames? I ask simply because my mind glitched on that. Also what are your degrees in btw?
@Xianomega3 жыл бұрын
I can't get them to stay straight. :)
@Xianomega3 жыл бұрын
I have a Bachelor's in Philosophy and Master's in Comparative Studies.
@highlandoutsider81483 жыл бұрын
For the longest time I've wished the world and my budget would let me dress as so many different things day to day, a pirate, a cowboy, a Victorian gentleman just whatever, the thought of being an actor seams incredibly good fun, If I put on my proper fitted suit then I end up influenced by it to act more swag, not like normal for me at all, is this the explanation?
@guitarbuddha743 жыл бұрын
I haven't been diagnosed but I am fairly certain I am on the spectrum. I think the responding to have a good meal for me is instant then almost every time I start thinking why would I say that when I don't know if they are even eating or have already eaten something. I've thought the same when people say good bye and I say cya later. I probably won't see them since we were talking on the phone. I also have ADHD so it makes things hard to sort out at times if I try to. I have sat sometimes and just stared at a thing and felt that thing you mentioned about just being like there is nothing except existence.
@artisticautistic96642 жыл бұрын
I feel like saying it's a theory of mind difficulty isn't accurate. The self/other thing is more accurate and that's more of a switch flipping problem than an ability or inability to perform theory of mind; it seems that most things are either/or for us, while nts are more about shades of gray. Even neuroscience shows our proficiency with black and white understanding vs neurotypical generalizing. I'm pretty sure it all just comes down to a fundamental difference in our processing being more binary, so to speak, than nts.
@epiphanist3 жыл бұрын
Excellent explanation! Could you (or anyone) please point me to a video (or make one) about when the 'no self & no other' mode at times may overlap with overwhelm or depression & numbing-out for extended periods, & seeming to get stuck there (mostly) for days or more...? It seems it's not an uncommon issue for Aspies?
@first___last3 жыл бұрын
Ah, so thats what it is. Thank you.
@theworldtome7962Ай бұрын
About sixth sent ... do you have a stront sixth sent ... my perception about energy , places and people is very strong :/
@ariannatamanini14113 жыл бұрын
I can relate to a certain extent but autistic people are all different, so I wouldn't make any generalizations. I know many autistic people would say they very much have a self.
@tomboker8506 Жыл бұрын
Question: Do you think it is possible that someone could be so caught up in the way others think about them - that they forget about themselves? In other words it is self-centered but would look like they are not thinking of themselves, but rather how others are thinking of them. And when you are thinking of how others think of you , you can lose yourself just so as to humour these peoples thoughts about you, and you lose yourself because of the self-centeredness- and therefore have no self now. Sound reasonable? Thank you!
@MantasticHams3 жыл бұрын
I might contend a slightly simpler interpretation of the social foible you've outlined, that being that you didn't forget or overlook that he was not you and he was not eating, you simply didn't realize what social situation you were in. In other words, you forgot, or more specifically, overlooked, what the answer was to his question. In many if not most situations when someone is engaged in a social platitude, the optimal response is to reciprocate, and in most cases that reciprocation is a simple mirroring, as in "Have a great day!", "You too!". But in "Formal" settings (as a person who is undiagnosed but strongly believes themself to be autistic, i find the level of formality for settings and events very hard to gauge) like shops or events, employees are often instructed to use one-ended language that puts the weight of formality on the employee and allows the customer to engage on whatever level they please. Thus "Enjoy your meal" or "Hope you enjoy your (product)". Since autistic folks tend to depend more on scripting because of a weakness regarding formalities and small talk, it is common that they make more of these type of mistakes than your average person. I could be totally wrong and misunderstanding what you mean, but that was my take. I enjoyed the video though!
@MantasticHams3 жыл бұрын
I do see what you are saying in the latter half of your argument though, I think i might frame things differently but I'm having trouble deciding exactly how. I dont entirely agree that losing yourself in your special interests for example is a lack of self as you say, to me, the innate desire to see those interests as especially interesting is innate to your being and thusly yourself. I think you may be conflating the ego and the self, the self in a psychoanalytic context is as much unconscious as it is conscious. A lack of self couldn't really be possible in an individual exhibiting a special interest, as the individuals interest would be entirely ambiguous, practically anything you showed them would be of the same level of interest, whatever level that might be, all, some, or none. I agree very much with some of your characterizations of autistic individuals and i've enjoyed engaging them, but ultimately i think your framework here of the self might be a bit flawed. Hope if you even read this its not seen as rude, simply trying to engage!
@emmettobrian18743 жыл бұрын
An interesting supposition. I'm not sure if I'd subscribe to it. The concept seems a bit amorphous since at some times "All self no other" would contradict not having a strong sense of self. Maybe like some emotions can manifest, our sense of self is all on or all off? Not that I'd advocate the taking of psychoactive drugs but I've heard that the "sense of self" goes away when on drugs like LSD. Perhaps someone who is autistic and has taken these drugs in the past could comment on if they felt a change in their sense of self, it would give a clearer indication of the change. Alternatively John Elder Robinson has described in his book "Switched On" what it was like to have TMS switch on his ability to connect emotionally with others. I don't remember any kind of "aha this is myself" moment in his writing but that didn't seem to be his focus either. Just some thoughts on how to test the concept.
@Truerealism747 Жыл бұрын
TMS j Sarno?
@ToniAnnBarandon3 жыл бұрын
If you have noticed you don't have a self, who/what is noticing you don't have a self?
@janefaceinthewind6260 Жыл бұрын
I think they do but perhaps not àll.
@hoptanglishalive41563 жыл бұрын
Very well said!
@lorenzmenke31213 жыл бұрын
Funny I just noticed your degrees and awards on your wall. I hide mine. Maybe I should display them.
@anhaicapitomaking81023 жыл бұрын
It is jist right what you are saying. Simple as that. The greeks were great thinkers but not great with minorities - other non western cultures in the world are way better. We should be called autolesstic. Without selves. Or Xhoris autos in modern greek I think.
@StaringCompetition3 жыл бұрын
But how did this get into my recommended?
@MrJovagu3 жыл бұрын
very intresting indeed.
@cristinachaliandroi13692 жыл бұрын
It's from greek language ,Greek here🙂
@Xianomega2 жыл бұрын
Oops. I said Latin, didn't I? Sometimes wrong things come out of my mouth without my realizing it, haha.
@ja-qk4vd3 жыл бұрын
yes. can see only Gd, consciousness, part of a wider continuum.no I
@YellowCreatmylifeadhd2 ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤
@YellowCreatmylifeadhd2 ай бұрын
💛💛💛💛
@sparklegush3 жыл бұрын
you're beautiful i appreciate you very much :)
@Sean-lv6fx3 жыл бұрын
Strange I've seen people on youtube who have been diagnosed on the asd, and they say they can guage almost too well what other people are thinking and feeling. Maybe there needs to be stricter criteria for diagnosing people.
@barbaraf33403 жыл бұрын
I don't think it affects people in a cookie cutter manner. Also, when you're smart you learn. I know now I understand a lot more when people talk to me, but I make the mistake to be way too cautious or expecting the worst because I trusted the wrong people before and it was obvious but I didn't see it. It has taken me almost 30 years and I still mess up sometimes.
@alyssahansen14003 жыл бұрын
Just because they don't have one symptom doesn't mean they aren't autistic/shouldn't be considered autistic. It's normal to check off some of the symptoms but not all. In fact I'd be shocked if someone actually did qualify for all of the symptoms. Brains are complex and autism is well known for manifesting in a diverse number of ways.
@stefan10243 жыл бұрын
I'd differentiate between two levels of emotion: In my experience autistic people often can sense pure emotion very well but have problems sensing the social context of an emotion. Let's take rejection as example of a pure emotion: I normally sense imidiately, if in a situation somebody reacts to me or to my behaviour with rejection. What I can't sense though, are signals that communicate further social context regarding that rejection: Is the person just slightly disrupted by some minor thing I did? Or does the person reject me personally? Is it maybe dominance behavior? Do I need to act on this? Should I "reject back" or just ignore it? Am I in danger? Are we cool? Shall we dicuss it? Some degree of rejection is part of almost every social situation, it's human nature and normally just a mechanism to assure peoples boundries. Therefore most of the times neurotypical people don't even bother becoming conciously aware of such casual stuff, yet they normally unconciously react to it in a way that works out fine. Most autistic people can't do that. To my knowledge the criteria for diagnosing people are quite strict btw. The people working in this field have thought a lot about how this stuff works.
@freeman6693 жыл бұрын
👌❤️
@MrsPurpleRiver3 жыл бұрын
sorry, you are wrong.. your opinion is very subjective..