Behind closed doors, they are internally miserable. They are forever critical and never satisfied. Knowing they have to live with themselves is closure.

They’re already getting it. They’re miserable, envious people.

Living your best life is the best “revenge.”

A very wise Sicilian once gave me the best advice: “ Use your sharpest tool,” when I asked what that was, he said, “Indifference. It cuts the sharpest & the cleanest.”

My leaving him was the biggest revenge for me! He who thought I’d never leave… Now he found someone new to “dismantle” piece by piece, while I build myself back up, piece by piece.

A word of caution: Obsessing over a narc’s outcome kinda keeps you in the vicious cycle, doesn’t it? NO CONTACT means NO CONTACT! Do not get bogged down in this as TEMPTING as it is! Break free my little peeps! Break FREE!!! Thxs, Dr. R for another illuminating episode! I’m grateful for you!!!! :)

They treat people worse who trigger their shame....is that why a narcissist treats their partner or spouse worse than everyone else?

Isn’t that similar to the line in the Bible (Galatians 6:7) “Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap”

Determine your boundaries, set you boundaries, and most of all, honor and stick to your boundaries.

“They are not psychologically well put together enough to get it”. I love this!

Financial domination is one of their favourite games. This alone has them everyone submit to them.

Every moment they are getting this kinda moment.They are living a life full of discontentment, sorrow and all negative.

That has been my solace in decades of narc abuse: He still has to be him. He cannot escape the ever present angry, frustrated, attacking, dissatisfied, life -sucks mindset.. I can't imagine living inside that scribble of emotions ALL THE TIME! I have escaped, and don't even play the mind game of hoping "he gets his." He gets his every day. Others may still believe he's charming Mr. Wonderful, but I know better. That healing feels like freedom Thank you Dr. Ramani! ❤ Praying that same sense of relief/peace for all your listeners.

My Mother is a narcissist and is highly abusive. I was her scapegoat and my older brother, her golden child. He went very low contact with her straight out of high school. It took me an extra decade(and a Lot of abuse) to decide to go no contact. She now continues to try to pretend that us children are the worst, and actually abused her. However, most of her flying monkeys have gone low/no contact due to being turned into her scapegoat, one after the other. I feel that it's 'her chickens coming home to roost.' She complains to everybody about how lonely she is and how horrible everyone is for leaving her. I don't know..... maybe TRY not to be evil? Maybe TRY not to hurt others? Definitely don't let it slip that you ENJOY hurting people...... you know, THAT might help?

"They, themselves" is what is coming to them, we were just decoys!

They are life altering . Will take me rest of my life to recover. Soul sucking vampires

I was around narcissists for most of my life but now I am retired. Today I saw a beautiful moment in a care home for people with dementia. an 85 young lady holding the hand of a 102 young lady guiding her along the corridor it was like seeing 2 small children as friends I saw so much beauty in this very special moment

I guess they are unhappy and can't ever become truly happy cause they can't ever get enough. Be happy as surviver, feel good, build your life on your terms, show them how you live your best life without them. That's most hurtful for them.

It's when you don't care about their scathing insults, stupid gaslighting and that dark cloud that seems to be hanging over their head. When you don't care any more, it's the most saddest sight to see. Playing the victim all by themselves...

I like to see the "What Comes Around, Goes Around, " for the person that was in the relationship with the narcissist; meaning that thier decisions to move away from the circumstances and heal will come around to them by having the benefits of no more abuse. Thank you Dr. Ramani.

I don’t care if something terrible happens to them just so they leave me alone.

My mother still getting away with it because she's got money. That's literally her only power. The only thing she has in her life, why people stick around.

The narcissists really do seem to get away with it more often than not. But that's just in this lifetime. Nobody can escape God's judgment in the end. This life is a mere blip when compared to eternity.

I saw this quote on Instagram last night "You may not see them suffer like they made you suffer, but believe me, their biggest punishment is that they are who they are." I think it's by Maria Consigilo, I see her quotes everywhere, but it's comforting to know that the narcissist's own existence is their punishment.

Sounds a lot like Sisyphus. Causes lots of nasty drama, then spends their time forever pushing a rock uphill (seeking supply) but just when the rock gets near the top (they are close to realising their goal of wonderfulness), the rock rolls down again (the goal is not enough) and so they are forever seeking supply.

We always wish people get what they deserve after all the hurt they cause, but I know a Narcissist who has trouble sleeping at night, no peace, at least that's something, for now.

My reward is I don't think about them at all,my life is awesome

I don’t waste my time thinking about revenge. I already know how miserable the narc is. It’s a constant turmoil and a very sad existence. I can’t care about that anymore. I choose to live in a place of peace now.

All curiosity regarding a narcissist should go away once you know your dealing with a narcissist. Its naive to think the next person won’t get screwed to. It’s just hard to accept that there are actually ppl like that in the world that live by a different code. Watching their antics is like watching a train crash over and over again. Just with different passengers onboard.

They will never pay restitution for every single vile act. Not even close. But knowing that they can never be happy or have peace of mind may actually be better. Especially once they've aged and out-lived their enablers. I take satisfaction in knowing that.

The parasitic sucker fish that follows the shark is a great analogy! I will remember that when I see their enablers.

When you realize the value of authenticity, peace of mind and healthy relationships, you won't care wether or not the narcissist get what they deserve, all you'll wish for is for narcissists to never be in your life or those of your loved ones ever again. You might even desperately want them to get the proper help to get better and stop wrecking everyone (although it is not likely to happen), you'll want them to taste true authenticity and healthy relationships so that they never wish to go back to their old habits.

My understanding a narcissist can Not Be Cure be a narcissistic person does not see themselves as a Narcissist

The best advice I got when I left my narc relationship from my counselor: the best revenge, the best Justice you can have is to do the work, to heal, and to live the best God dam life you can.

Use your anger towards the narc as your driving force to succeed. Explore such as doing business, traveling, getting masters degree, and most of all, CREATE NEW CIRCLE OF Friends! and a bonus, invite all your old common friends to a very special event like huge birthday party or wedding but LEAVE THEM OUT. Great news and stories about you will burn them like hell. This is the best revenge for narcs!

The come around is them constantly having to live their lives in character of their false self. No one is capable of being in character all the time.

I never find satisfaction in anyone’s fall; it’s what sets me apart from my Narc.

I don't care at this point. I've forgiven them all. I just want to avoid their chaos, heal and live a good life.

My ex always used to say that he “didn’t believe in stupid expressions”. Once I told him, “you’ll get yours” & he rolled his eyes & said he doesn’t believe in any of my stupid expressions. Funny thing, years later, I find my “stupid expressions” are actually proverbs based on centuries of wisdom.

This subject breaks my heart. My father died alone in a nursing home. None of the suckerfish were there in the end for him. When my wife was dying we brought her home, the only two people there for her last two months of life was our son and me. No words were spoken until the last hours of her life, and it fell flat. I wish I had not been so empty that I could not give comforting words to these people. If that is someone's come upping I never want to be part of it again. Stay away from narcissist there is no joy during the time with them or at the end.

God Bless you Dr. Ramani- I'm currently experiencing the hell of being discarded and mercilessly smeared after years of marriage.. it was all an illusion. Your videos are a little bit of solace in the midst of all this pain.

My N mother has spent her whole life charming people with her looks and charisma to get narcissistic supply. Now, at the end of her life, as her looks and energy have faded, she has given up on life and become a recluse. The "payback" is through her own design. She never learned (or wanted to know how) to connect with people on a personal level. Now that her "mask" of looks and charisma is gone, she's lost and avoids people. It almost saddens me. Almost.

Narcissistic people repeat the same cycle in every relationship they have. The ex almost always gets a front stage seat from which to view the new relationship during the love bombing phase. It's one way they punish the ex who dared abandon them. I am learning and have to remind myself all the time that my husband is incapable of accepting responsibility for his actions and how he affects others. Those closest to the narcissist must always reflect the narcissists idealized image of them as well as their idealized version of ourselves in order to avoid triggering their inner shame. Trust me, they would rather break the mirror than see their true reflection. So even if they do get what's coming, from their perspective it's undeserved and they don't understand why it's happening. If you are waiting to see them get theirs, you'll be disappointed because the lesson you want them to learn is completely lost on them. That is a bitter pill to swallow after everything they put people through but it's the truth. I've never seen or heard of a narcissist being held accountable and accepting responsibility for the things they've done.

My narc has been "happily" married for 10 yrs. I pray that behind the scenes things are not what they appear .

This is one thing that's been helping give me some peace of mind. The narcs who ruined my life have no one else at this point. They pushed away every friend they ever had until family was all that was left, then they pushed them away too. Now they're stuck where they are, completely alone for the rest of their lives.

One of the things I find humorous is that he told me he was married four times and his last wife took him for almost a million dollars or so he said. So what goes around comes around has been coming around for every relationship yet he still does not understand it is his behavior that causes the blow up in every relationship

I fled from my ex husband more than a year ago with our daughters. He moved on immediately. That day. Didn’t look back on us one time. I was left with nothing but broken children with cptsd. He is a high profile surgeon in another country. He is married again and improved his working position with this marriage. He was already earning loads ( buying expensive cars but kept us in a rented house) but now he has everything he ever wanted and the attention he craved…. He blocked our kids. He told them they ruin his day when he hears from them. They are 16,13 and 10. He physically and psychologically abused our kids and me. I couldn’t get away from him due to my own stupidity, fear, love…. It was lockdown… He was telling our daughters he hated them and that they ruined his life… I fled to our country and took the kids after one night he was drunk as usual and abusive. I had a feeling he had someone . We were just a burden for him…. As I did not work…. I was stuck…. I thought I would go mad…. I abandoned my own career ( I am a doctor as well…) to support him as he was looking for the perfect job… we moved around a foreign country every year with the kids changing their school every year for 8 years…. He has started being very abusive since our oldest entered puberty ….. he couldn’t handle the stress on his job. He hated his patients and colleagues…. He is very confrontational, hates any criticism….. he couldn’t fit anywhere…. Since we left, his life improved, actually…. I am struggling financially with three kids with psychological problems and am not been able to work as the children are really bad. We are in therapy as much as I can afford…. I was in an abusive marriage for 18 years….. I completely lost myself… I have no idea who I am and I am afraid for my children. There is no justice……. I know they do not change…. But it looks as if he is getting away with everything he did to us…… and now he is enjoying his life with his amazing job, new wife and her kid…. He has it all, cars, beautiful big house with a pool, has hobbies, he is beloved….. I promised myself I wouldn’t look anything about him online …. But I caved in last night….. he is getting away with everything……. I am stuck…….

Absolutely agree the narcissist gets their 'reward' every day of their lives. So much anger, frustration and rage. My wife of 21 years (yes, sucker for abuse I am) can charm a snake out of its skin but that is a facade. She hates everyone around her. Me, her daughter, her mother, her aunts, her friends and even our pets. According to her, life would be so much better if we were all gone. Of course, she can't be alone for more than a day before her fears and insecurity drive her to find one or more of us to bitch at and insult. That is the essence of her narcissism ... a constant need to feed her ego (supply) or her demons emerge to consume her. Unfortunately for her, a big rift is coming. Her daughter turns 18 next spring and will leave her. Her mother is very ill and may be gone very soon. Her 'favorite' cat died tragically 2 day ago. And I am seriously planning my exit before year's end. I'm old enough (73 in November) and sick enough to know I don't want to grow any more dependent on her as time goes forward. Watching how she verbally abuses her 83 year mother who has dementia is proof enough that I need to find a different path. Cannot face the idea of being sick and being treated that way. I need peace and stability going forward and I will find neither with this narcissist.

Dr. Ramani's summation. "Go and move forward in your life. That's all the comes around you need. -- I know about three GRAND narcissists who are in the "come around" stage and it's not pretty. Because I've moved on, I didn't have the time to experience the sick schadenfreude that I may have if it had happened earlier but there was a sense of, finally. I have ZERO sympathies for any of them. They're reaping what they sowed. I'm out, that's all that matters.

Only if you make it so. There is no Justice, but the one you make

These people are running from themselves. The minute they stop running is when the Karma sets in. I used to be that and when I decided to face what I had done to people, I paid the price. Looking within so deep caused me to almost be afraid to talk to anyone for I feared, they were my Karma. And yes I got it back, but now being removed, I will NEVER treat ANYONE like that!

Great example of my ex father-in-law getting his due. he went thru life slowly losing friends. It was his way or nothing. his family didnt give him a funeral! it was left up to a grave digger to ‘say a few words!’ As we all stood with our mouths shut. The ultimate sendoff!

The narcissist’s life and miserable existence is their constant karma. The narc is incapable of living a truly happy and peaceful life.

I have to say , I'm seeing a bit of karmic payoff happening. In Aug 2020 he cut off any financial support. Because I started divorce. Upon discard he had told me no divorce. I was punished for taking control . I struggled for a yr. So grateful for friends. I went through the courts, awarded spousal support. He ignored it. I had to garnishee his wages at 40% pre tax amount. Now he's atruggling financially. He is a sheriff working in family court, in contempt. It's nice to see the laws working sort of. It's a long process. He has a new mask, new community. Mr. super native healing guy. With a new name. I have a great lawyer who understands he's a narcissist.

This is so my grandmother and parents are the parasitic fish swimming around the shark waiting for the leftovers. So sad.

And yes it is taking so long that I no longer care. And it’s a relief. I value myself and my husband and children over them.

One day they will, but I’ve learned you won’t see it first hand. You only learn they are suffering from the grapevine. By that time you are living your life and more at peace, and indifferent to them.

What about being the one who teaches the narcissist a lesson? I was the one who shamed them publicly and rejected them openly, and it hurts the narcissist too much, the poor thing can't take it. Well they did try to hurt me back, but I'm invincible, as I grew up with narcissists, I'm already immune to their psychological attacks

Being stuck in evil is more than a payback. These people need to be prayed for.

Dr. Ramani saved my life of rumination after leaving my narc. Survivors need to hear this and we all need to stand together.

I'm currently holding out on reconciliation with a narcissist family member. They are supposedly a Christian, but I've never seen them repent of anything. I work every day to forgive, but this time I am not just sweeping things under the rug. Without seeing them change their chronic behaviour, there will be no relationship.

If you wait for divine justice, it's never going to happen. At least, not in this life time. For real healing, move on. You have the knowledge now; you have the tools. Nurture self. Enjoy the rest of your life. Carpe Diem!

What comes around oftentimes SHOWED ON THEIR FACES as they aged NOT VIA their fames or fortune..Yes, they are still living in their "fancy world of their own deceiving minds" with their hidden SHAMEFULNESS AND REMORSEFUL that are EATING THEM UP INTERNALLY..I had seen this happened many many times..Remember that nothing is WORST THAN TO LIVE WITH ONE'S OWN NIGHTMARES that HAUNTED ONESELF AND only one sees and experienced by oneself but no one else's..Period..

I just escaped a 33 year marriage with a narcissist. It took so long for me to get the courage to finally leave him, and I am so happy that I did. Your videos which I have watched almost every day since I left to help me in the healing process have been so comforting to me during this very difficult but liberating time in my life. Thank you so very much for what you do

The LAW OF SOWING & REAPING STILL STANDS! GOD is not MOCKED! The Narc will be punished, when the time is right, Jah will take care of them.

My thoughts of his "come around" is that he will NEVER find someone to replace me at the level I gave him. He can look and look and interview new potential partners but he will never find anyone who is of my quality of love, ambition, sharing and giving he was used to. He might find a partial replacement but he will never find a replacement like me. This keeps me going and away from him. He didn't deserve me and will never have me again. SMILES

Move away from them for good ASAP and don’t think about them whether they are getting their karma. Better to completely erase them from your life and for cus on our own life and our happiness and peace

I get the sense the worst outcome narcissists see as a result of their behavior is not payback or retribution, but the increasing realization that they're living in a constant repetition. I imagine it to be some kind of Groundhog Day scenario - but the genre is horror. I think as they age they get an inkling that things are not building up in a positive way, moving forward as they feel they should, and that people keep reacting them in the same way (horror, disappointment, or rage after being hurt by them). It's like living a lot of lives but never learning a lesson

People make poor judgements make mistakes it's when you give up you stand defeated.....you eventually push forward it's all about the ROAD

I would never wish ill on my narcissist as he has been doomed to a life unfulfilled with real love and friendship. That is punishment enough. I'm just happy that through your videos I was able to unravel what was happening in this very Yo-Yo, Jeckle and Hyde relationship. In the end, I stayed in it way longer than I should because I truly felt sorry for him. Out now & happy to move on in serenity

Good thoughts! When I walked away from my mother, and my ex, they both were vehemently angry with me. I’m slowly learning ( from you) that if I want to “win” it’s by not returning the ire. Not carrying the baggage. But by putting on a smile and stepping forward. Thank you.

They are paying.. with their daily existence.

So very true. Sons dad lied to get custody, got it. Others believed him and joined against me. Court system helped because he was cop. I owe tons child support to him and taxes etc. Cant have much money or government confiscates it. Things never come around to him. There is a big emptyness in them though. They're like a coffee pot with big hole at bottom. They're so unsatisfied. Thats their karma. To be always hungry! Take some comfort in that!

Amen and pass the plate Dr. Ramani! I won the second I slammed the door, after years in hell, light entered and I have NEVER looked backed or gave a damn about what happened to him. Forward my friends, always forward 💜

If you screw over enough people, eventually others are gonna start wondering why everyone walks out on you.

The goal for me was to no longer invest in their outcome... indifference and peace ... my investment of emotion and attention are in myself and healthy relationships, what happens or doesn’t happen with them is their business.

"depends on their enabler quotient" - so on point! & Yes, focus on your own happiness and fullness, and know that whether the narcissist ever gets what's coming to them or not their lives will always be fairly empty because of who they are. Be thankful that you have the capacity to experience a full and authentic life that narcissists don't.

Don't do narcissists. Just say 'NO.' AMERICANS AGAINST NARCISSISTS (and keep saying, "NO.")

The lord will take care of them trust me he watches every thing 🙏🏽💯💥

My ex has surrounded himself with low level enablers but given how he's willing to toss even his own family members under the bus- once his main enabler, his mother, dies, he's gonna be in a tight spot. No on else was willing to lie to themselves like her. The others may be dense and give him the benefit of the doubt very frequently, if he start trying to eat them for his own benefit, which he was doing before I even left, he's going to find himself alone quite suddenly, and in a way that he cannot bounce back from.

As the narcissist in all of my relationships, and recently got a rant from my latest victim about how I should receive the worst, this video hits pretty close. I know I will only be more miserable if I start anything new with new people, and make them miserable. It does make me suicidal, not because the people who once loved me dearly wished me the worst but because I realize I'm my own monster. I can't escape and I must fight my own self if I don't want to die and nobody mourns. My family and friends are enablers. They're also the only support system I have. I'm in therapy for less than a month. Dr. Ramani is right. Each word she spoke was like a dagger stabbing into the shame inside me (something I also realized after watching many of her videos) and it's really painful. At times I'm tempted to go for toxic coping mechanism like alcohol, reckless drivings, and I already recklessly spent money more than I should, I started eating badly or not eating anything at all. It was a way to punish myself for being myself. It's really a curse to be a narcissist. I hope that all of you, who read this and watch the video, can see clearly how being a narcissist is the punishment of itself. Once you see someone is one: leave them to save yourself and you alone can't change them. Even when they themselves want to change and put efforts in, the change is not promised and your life is too precious to be dragged along on that journey. For myself, I dearly hope I'll get the tools I need from therapy to fight back the person I am. I wish you all healing and good mental health. And those who haven't been able to get into therapy, will be soon.

I take karma as my parents not having someone now to “put them in a good home” as I was instructed to do since age 6

Proverb about expecting the same results: You never step into the same river, twice. (PS Dr. R. I don't instagram or tweet.)

I want people to have a happily ever after.

The best revenge is a life well lived Karma only forward 💚🌟🕊

“People hang around to get what’s left over” Yes!!! I’ve seen this more than once. Absolutely . One time I was very hurt . I JUST could not understand why the narc was paying all these people to do what she was having me do and NOT paying me . The money wasn’t the issue for me, I just felt that she was wasting my time if she were going to pay people. FINALLY , I get it. She was paying people to STAY AROUND and it made HER feel IMPORTANT. I eventually let it go, but now , hearing THIS it makes better sense.

Good Lord, you hit the nail on the head. I talked to my counselor about this and she said the same thing you said. You are using the exact words even! Wow.

Narcissists do reap what they've sown. The thing is the survivors usually don't see or hear about it. My parents were narcissistic and they reaped big time. They ended up stuck with each other while friends and family distanced themselves away from them. They spent their time cyberstalking former friends and talking about how life dealt them a bad hand. Not once did it occur to them that it was their own fault for the way they treated people throughout the years. My mom suffered from many illnesses before dying a painful death from lung cancer 5 weeks after diagnosis. Interesting how she used her breath to verbally abuse people while quoting the Bible and in the end her breath was taken from her. Nobody came to see her except for me, my husband, and son in her final days. My dad is completely alone constantly fixing up his house for people who will never visit. The people in that town had long since seen his true colors and won't have anything to do with him. Even after Mom died, they don't check on him. My husband and I ended up having to severely restrict his access to us after finding out he had stolen some very valuable items from my mom years ago. He still talks about his glory days which nobody cares about. His life is pretty much done. As for the other narcissists and enablers who ruined my life over the years, one narcissist completely lost his great looks. The evil he had done over the years has shown up on his face. The other ones...same thing. They look much older than their ages and are forever stuck with each other. They brutally destroyed relationships with genuine people in favor of people who are either enablers or narcissists themselves. That's the biggest karma for them. They deceive themselves into thinking they have real friends, but they don't. They have fakes like them and that's all they will ever have. In the end, they will either die alone or with fakes smiling in their faces while talking crap behind their backs. The end.

Sometimes the best closure or justice we need from their abuse is wisdom and understanding of what happened to us. Share your knowledge with those you care and trust, share your knowledge with strangers you never know who's life you might be impacting or saving. Let knowledge go and come around!!!!!!

The opposite of love is not hate, it's apathy. Both emotions require the same investment of energy whereas apathy is absent of investment in the narcissist. This is the bedrock of my escape and freedom from my abusive family. HOWEVER! We're a haunted household within an afro-caribe culture. Paranormal activity is prevalent around the primary abuser and I'm absolutely convinced my grandmother is behind most of the stories that frighten the abuser. I swear to God, grandma is wreaking havoc in the sundown world of her narcissist. I hope she doesn't stop. Dr. Ramani, is it okay to laugh in a malignant narcissist's face when they freak the fuck out because their nightmares are bleeding into their reality?

Its Disgusting to me how, they get off and enjoy betraying you, and making you betray yourself, in order to keep the peace. I am being as patient as possible, but i can't stand them near me anymore, Its psychopathic how they act like nothing has happened after destroying everything.

These psychological truths need to be taught in high schools. 📚

The better life you live beyond them is the come around.

Whether narcs get what they've dished out in this lifetime is inconsequential to me. Immediately after death, it is said that everyone undergoes a Life Review. So, the hurt and harm that Narcs deliberately caused will be seen by them, and they will feel exactly what the victims felt. Good luck, Narcs... you deserve what's coming to you. And THIS time you can't escape the consequences!!!!!! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!

You don't do everyone wrong and get by with it, karma will find your address, sooner or later,👍DR RAMANI and survivors and thrivers 🙏

What is mind blowing is even them getting what is coming to them is still blamed on you. Even if you are being ghosted 👻 or no contact. The Flying monkeys will come into town.

I will remember this: value yourself & firewall. Very very important 👌

*Such important advice from Dr Ramani!* So much I could say, but two takeaways: 1) the better you are as a person, the harder you tried, the higher-pitched the narcissistic behaviour - you hold a mirror, and thus have to be smashed - and that's what happened... 2) we control so little, and can predict even less. Best to not care about how retribution will come about, because that saps your energy, not their's. Besides, just imagine what internal turmoil and contradictions brought about that sort of prolonged behaviour!

Before I even knew about narcassist personalities and before I moved out I told my ex that she " would be very lonely one day"

"what goes around comes around" is a golden rule. It may not happen very soon in their life, they will reap later. They will live miserable live because they kept victimizing, using and hurting people. Every evil deeds there's always bad consequences.