While I was in an abusive relationship, I called the domestic violence hotline, and found total incompetence, and zero help. It was shocking to me that was reality, absolute ineptitude from a person who had NO clue how to help. Supervisors, and program managers and people on the board of directors should be testing the effectiveness of their own system all the time, and the calls should be recorded and reviewed. Having volunteers is NO excuse for a horribly run emergency system for people who desperately need competent staff to talk to.

@@janetpattison8474 I I iïoo{pity yyyyuyy yyyyuyy the rajesh katriya 5 m in vvv tťr|try ~[t t t ryyy] yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy] yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy] yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy] yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyuyy]]] yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy] you tuttyyy Hu najar the same rrttýy55 by 6 the rajesh katriya 5 m to puch ri hu by get 2nd 2 cry chu and

@@janetpattison8474 Thanks Janet! Same here! Worthless ! Every state of USA differs & Utah does nothing if there aren't babies involved. Vulnerable elder abuse is not acknowledged legally and "safety homes" are not covered under so called grants either. Men suffer tremendous abuse as courts favor the woman.

I call bs from Johnny depp talk about gaslighting

@@janetpattison8474 iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii2r

Trish I’m so sorry you and your sister experienced so much trauma as children 💕 I hope you’ve been able to heal and live a life filled with love. May your father rest in eternal peace. 🙏🏻

@@renewedhope7638 Thank you so much. We are all we have now....each other. Thank you. I hope he does too.😔❤️

Growing up with a father who verbally abused my mother, I cried reading your story. Luckily, father left us, and only then did we have peace. As adults, we forgave our father and looked for him. He died with us.

😢

@@rolandoesteban9514 I'm so sorry.😔 I know how hard it is to grow up in that atmosphere as a child. I'm so glad that you were able to find peace and to also reconnect with your father. My sister and I have tried a few times to reconnect with our mother but she still has a lot of those abusive tendencies which makes it hard for us and brings up the trauma again. I have forgiven her but it is really hard to have her in my life because I feel like I turn into that scared little girl again.

I agree 💯💯

People wouldn't be honest.If someone gets dumped they could just say they were abused when they weren't.

That's a great idea!

YES!!! I’ve long thought this- with some careful consideration, it’s absolutely possible. Well needed, too.

But how many people would go check up on someone they are in "love" with!

🥺❤️

Poor man 😢😢

Me too 🙏

I feel sorry for this guy who gf who a KZfaqr I guess beating her bf in the elevator and in the apt she stabbed him then she say she was defending herself it her defense attorney defense ridiculous also her parents are also in jail for taken he’s laptop she a beautiful women so even beautiful women are deadly it crazy cops laugh

Jonney Depp ahused himself too. He Is no saint. Amber was years younger than this drugged up drunk egotistical ass, coz he is famous doesn't exclude him from himself or past unreasonable conduct.

I was about to say the same.

Very true

"Tell the world Johnny, tell the world! No one will believe you! .........but we did

​@Cindy oh boy did we. She honestly thought that the world would take her side just bc she's female. I'm ecstatic that we no longer live in that kind of world.

Agreed!

I agree men are being abused. 😢

Although I have a wonderful wife and have never been abused, I personally know 2 men who were abused by their wives and never reported it publicly. I’m sure there are many more out there.

I think Tony is more of a manly hero because he never hurt physically hurt her. Men are physically stronger than us so he could've hurt Tracy if he really wanted to but he never hurt her mentally or physically. That took a lot of physical strength on Tony's part.

Just like my ex boyfriend. The more i screeamed the wors he hit and kikked me.

That is called psychopath.

It sure is.

@@jeanieW4332agreed, definitely a psychopath!

Amen, Amen, Amen!!! That is so true! Don't stick around!

EXACTLY. They’re at the start of seeing what you’ll tolerate. I’ve got what I refer to as my first husband my “practice” husband. lol practice referred to the lesson for what NOT to do. Oh he had a temper, and had a mouth on him BEFORE I married him. That said, NEVER was that directed at me. Never was it about me. That started immediately after I married him. I married in Church, in front of a few hundred people. There’s no divorce in my family. He thought I’d never divorce him. I left within a year. Nope. No BS sorries, no amount of excuses or “apology” gifts. I left. I filed for divorce and annulment. The first thing he said was “You said you’d never leave”. My answer? “You are a fraud”. He went on to marry a girl a decade younger than him, uneducated and from an abusive home. He got what he wanted. Someone to control. Sad.

It can be difficult to leave. My husband started slowly as his personality was changing as he grew older. It’s difficult to decide when enough is enough. My marriage was suffering. I left after he attacked me physically.

Yeah I found out the hard way 😢

You are Right on 😢 not stopping just getting started. Exactly

People are the ones that choose to be Evil and use God's the gospel to control people! God and Religion are good, some people aren't!

Yep totally.

Absolutely!

My ex used all of this

So what’s the difference between mental and emotional abuse? And financial abuse isn’t that just called fraud.

Run, don't walk... they can't be fixed.

Or break every bone in their body. Anyone puts their hands on me it's a declaration of war.

Men are embarrassed. I know I have mentioned that men get beaten up by their wives. And they have la.ughed

Definitely. She sounds like an awful parasite herself. I am sure she was abused as a child herself but that’s no excuse as an adult. You can face yourself and how you are and treat people right.

People do not understand how horrific a malignant and/or covert narcissistic personality can be.. They isolate, triangulate, blame, accuse and play the victim . In their minds it is everyone else who is at fault. Narcissistic personalities find the rescuers /co dependents and intitially love bomb them , after securing the person in their clutches the manipulation , demoralization and games begin. They become the source of supply (attention) for their sense of self ..bc they don’t have a foundation or a sense of self.

❤❤❤

💜💜💜 DV survivors unite!

You're skipping a very important part. A victim of abuse needs to get counseling or psychological help to stop the cycle and truly become a survivor.

​@tracyhaverstick5672 yeah except people who are abused don't always become abusers

@@ythatesfacts That wasn't what I was referring too.

@Ryland 69; Nonesense

And get therapy

He’ll get there, in his own moments. We cannot be the ones to say for him to hold his shoulder straight.

@@lfbutterfly exactly. Ppl like that don't know the extent of turmoil the abuser has caused. They think there being helpful, but they don't understand the damage that's been inflicted.

Ryland has a point.. have to start somewhere.. God bless him 🙏

A friend of mine did, but she knew her boyfriend from her teenage years ;) They wanted to go all in to see if it worked or not. But in general, I think you're absolutely right - they want to bind people to them as quickly as possible so that they can exert the most control...

She moved into his house, which should have been a sign of what she was up to. I'd never move in with someone that quickly.

Looks aren't everything😂moved to Fast Tony !

It may or can be a red flag. It is not applicable to everyone or every situation. That's why it is imperative for people to get in relationship with God and get to know Him for yourself. And to choose to recognize His lead and choose to follow His voice, will, steps, and direction for themselves in JESUS' NAME. AMEN.

This is 100% true!

Women

Agree. Needs to change

@@timothypotts3913 you think only women do this?

He decided to stay instead of divorcing, it's his choice, so he's not FREE of responsibilities in that aftermath!

@@COMPUTER.SCIENCE. How ignorant can you be? Are you trying to justify her actions or something?

@polarbearsrus is your son safely away from her now? That’s never an easy thing to go through.

Stay off these dating app because it's the narcissist play ground! Would love to hear from guy's on here who have gone through this?

@@GrandmaMouse1960 I was married to a malignant narcissist for 23 years and it nearly destroyed me. He’s a highly respected 7 figure a year professional. People who meet him think he’s a great guy. People admire him and aspire to be like him. He’s very skilled at keeping his true nature hidden. But he was best at gaslighting and manipulation. I know there have been movies about an abusive husband who convinces everyone that his wife is crazy while he plays the role of the caring husband. He gaslights everyone to the point he’s able to have her committed involuntarily and she has to fight to prove that he’s actually the crazy one, etc. That guy is my husband. Not literally, as in having me committed, but he’s that type of guy who is cunning and calculated and feels no guilt or shame when he blatantly lies and manipulates. By the time I left him, I felt abjectly worthless. Really, truly worthless. It’s the such a lonely and hopeless feeling and before I left I no longer cared if I woke up each morning or if I died in my sleep. I just couldn’t gaf about it. He’d successfully whittled down any confidence or independence I ever had to almost nothing. Then when I finally got the strength to leave, he did everything in his power to turn everyone against me and to leave me destitute. He didn’t succeed but not for lack of trying. I fought hard. Every day away from him was another step towards learning to be me again. Before I even left I found a therapist. I’d never had any kind of therapy but my primary concern was my kids and I went initially because I thought it might help me better navigate the divorce to cause them as little damage as possible. My feelings of worthlessness and uselessness were of concern too. I didn’t know if it would help any but figured it couldn’t hurt. I’m so glad that I did. Just having an educated neutral person to speak to about everything my ex had been doing to me was a massive weight off my shoulders. I had friends I vented to, of course, but having a professional validate that the things I described were definitely emotional abuse was like the sunny coming out on a rainy day. Sorry for the long post. I really just wanted to suggest that if your son isn’t in therapy or hasn’t considered it, I very much recommend it. People like our exes do damage to us in ways that we don’t even see sometimes. That damage doesn’t always heal with time and distance. I’ve been divorced for 6 years and I just married my current husband a few months ago. I know without a doubt that if I hadn’t dealt with what happened to me, I would’ve brought some of that baggage to my new marriage. I sincerely wish your son continued healing! Those of us have experienced this type of abuse know how deeply the scars go. It’s not easy but he got away from her, that’s the most important part.

It’s crazy. To see the photos, you would never know. They look happy and honestly in love. She’s just how much we can be misled by appearances

@@IratePuffin Yours is a story of courage and survival. I’m so glad you were able to see your way out and to recover. I wish you the best and hope you have a wonderful marriage this time around. May love be the driving energy for your new family 💜☮️

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

It is just not talked about, men who are victims of DV. It’s just not women who are victims 😊

😊

Confusing as to why he didn't date his friend maybe she was married; I also question the fact that his two prior marriages weren't successful, he needs to self heal if course and counsel in choosing mates.

Well said

@@amber40494 thank you 😊

Yes you sound as though you have experienced it as I have 😢

I'm still dealing with it😢 I was married for 32 years to my abuser. We lived in my childhood home so it was hard for me to leave. We had 3 children, he passed away in 2009 but I still have issues that even moving away from there hasn't helped. I have trust issues and have a very difficult time making friends. It's a lonely life 💔

I wish you the best.

​@@rjay7019 It is a very lonely life. I would rather be by myself instead of being abused. Wishing you the best ❤

@Patricia Rowe Thank You I feel the same. It's as if I just don't trust people anymore.

I am so sorry to hear that for you sweetheart. My hope for you is that you find the true love of another human being so that you may feel truly loved! You deserve it, and God bless you 😊

I'm sorry you've had that background

God Bless you💖 and your Sister💖 with lots of Love and Happienes 🙌🏻🙏🏻💞💞😇💞💞🙏🏻🙌🏻

Try having an oldest sibling who dismantles your family unit and emotional well being.

Hopefully you were able to separate from your mother forever and completely block her from her life even she would beg you to take her back

She's an angel!

And it's especially hard for men.

Too bad Maxine didn't recruit biker type bar patrons to catch up to her in a parking lot.

Truly! He's very fortunate to have such a good friend.

The road to being believed as a man is much longer. I wish your son and your grandchildren all the best, and that your son meets a person to be happy with.

Lady?

He’s physically safe now but trust me when I tell you that it would have caused a life times worth of healing. It’s more complicated than remove the threat and all is well. The damage she caused is permanent.

Her sentence was a joke. Put her away for 20 years.

I totally agree. I went thru far worse. It is indelibly life-altering. She'll try to seek him out.

I was in a relationship like that and did not even know it. When I finally realized I tried to make it work I got out but was stalked for a year. But eventually stopped. Im lucky

I’m sorry for your pain. You deserved so much better during those first 18 years. I hope this comment finds you well. 🧸🙏🏼🌹

@@MsAdventure531 thank you. Your kindness is much appreciated.

I’m sorry your truly evil family abused you. Children are precious and they deserve to be adored and taken care of well. I hope you have chosen your own family and I hope you are deeply loved.

@@ashtonstout7375 thank you.💕

Go find yourself a chosen family. People you choose...who adore you, who you adore. Love and light to you precious.

Absolutely. She needed to be exposed.

Yep, since the punishment wasn't too great, the public shaming will pick up the slack. She's horrible

I got triggered listening also. Was raised with narc father screaming and cussing. Can’t stand to hear it now.

Yes, I wanted to beat her a** just hearing that little bit. There's no way I could have endured that. He is an extremely strong man.

It was just a lot. It was just way too much, scary, and overwhelming. I'm glad that he is okay. I hate that he went through that. God honestly allows everything to happen for a reason. Prayerfully, his story will help others to be able to get out of their situation in JESUS' NAME. AMEN.

Reading this 8 months later, I pray you are somewhere safe now and on the path to healing.

You ok?

All you have to do to be happy, is to learn to trust in, and believe in, yourself. When you get your confidence and sense of self back, you'll begin to trust your instincts regarding others again. Start volunteering, it will bring you out of yourself, and you'll feel good about yourself for helping others.

This is not about a woman being abused. We don’t care about your abuse. This is about it happening to men.

you sound abusive.

Amen me too

​@@JohnDavis-yz9nq it's all the same to whomever the abuse happens too, this fact seems to be lost on you! As for your statement that WE don't care about this persons abuse, well speak for yourself because I for one do care about the abuse that's happened to any individual.

It's like Johnny Depp and his domestic abuse from his then wife. He can't fix it and the only way to survive is to get out of it.

Yes she is a malignant narcissist

She sounds like a devil! 😢

Weren’t they re-enactments? That’s what it said on the video. You can’t trust just one side. Judge people after both sides are heard.

@gd8740 The recordings were real because he secretly recorded her. It’s the acting (shadows behind doors) that was re-enacted.

Me Too feeling the same.

I understand what this feels like. Abuse is horrible. I walked on eggshells for ten years in ahalf. In the end I almost turned into him. But I walked away instead. I'm free now just doing my best to free my mind from the abuse .stay free walk away don't put up with that bullshit no more !

My 'one special person' is myself.😊

It's happened to me too. I left my ex husband almost 6 months ago

They are demonic evil spirits of Satan.Seeds of the devil himself .

Thank you for encouraging people.

Recent statistics is 1 out of 3 d.v. are male victims

The authorities know my husband has hurt people and put one woman in the hospital with serious injuries yet they do nothing.

​@@brendafaithful8267There may be more to the story. If you press charges and there is evidence, the authorities have to respond.

​@@VioletJoy You have a touching faith in the police. 95% of reported rapes in the UK are never investigated. It's frightening, really, how little protection the police offer the abused.

I agree! She is nuts!

@Vaska Tumir Rotterdam gives you all the answers.

Hi Mechelle! I'm sorry to drop this here, but I was just surfing around your KZfaq channel and I wanted to say hi. I'm guessing you must be a friendly person because your comments are always so nice and respectful. If it's okay with you, I'd love to be friends! If it sounds weird or embarrassing in any way, please don't embarrass me by replying. Have a great day!

@@Broadtolove catfish

@@PutinsMommyNeverHuggedHim No

@@Broadtolove Bit weird Maxwell🙄

Yes exactly. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness.

What a handsome and quiet spoken man. You are quite a catch. Don't let anyone treat you like that again. You don't deserve so much better.

Happy this man spoke up...this women is extremely troubled. She's lucky it was Tony because an equally unhinged male would have killed her.

13:42

This is bullshit if he had been the abuser I am sure he would have gotten a much stiffer prison sentence!

That’s England for you. They are such cowards

I would of beat her ass if it was my brother.

Yes my brother was arrested. She had a bruise that she probably got hitting the edge of the counter. In the photo they had to draw a line around it point with a pen. My brother was 6’3” she was less than 5 ft. If he’d ever hit her she’d have been in a hospital. He ask her for a divorce there youngest child was 16. Her friends told her if she went to the battered women’s shelter they’d get her a lawyer. He never hit her she hit him.

That's BS and completely unfair when girls claim abuse and police just believe them. I feel bad for guys, if anyone ever touches my brother he won't need to lay a hand because I'll clean her clock!

Sounds like a narc

Everyone has the right to express them selfs. This may be about men. Yet any one who has been abused can comprehend. The pain. And shame. Hearing this makes me feel more for abused men. .the cycle must be brocken in my life as well he tyrely wanted me to be like him fyck that I'm peaceful loving .I'm not a human monstro like him

Yes. Nobody ever deserves to be treated like that manner.

@@Fan-zx1lz hey, thank you for answering! That’s so kind 😇 Best wishes 🍀

The so called "Macho" stigma has nothing to do with that red headed devil getting less time than a man would in the same position. Please 🤫 and atleast learn how to spell.

It’s other men a lot of the time that’ll dismiss their male friends when abuse is mentioned. Most people don’t understand how difficult it is to escape from an abusive situation.

@@sarcasticallyrearranged that's not exactly true. Sounds anecdotal.

Tony is lucky Tracy didn't kill him. His ex girlfriends probably didn't like his expansiveness. He appears weak to some women. Someone with Tracy's personality saw his weakness. I doubt he was ever strong.

@@sarcasticallyrearranged Yes I can understand.

Abusers love bomb the victim, then when they know they're hooked the real personality comes out. The partner being abused hangs onto the good times and is fed a fantasy to keep them around, unless it's the other extreme of the abuser taking away the victims' freedom of movement and free will, then it becomes next level of evil. I've experienced the cycles from my parents' marriage, and you have my sympathy and admiration :) it might have taken longer, but you did get out. Your ex-partner doesn't control your future anymore, and that took a LOT of strength on your part to leave and stay gone. People like your ex are a dark cloud for anyone they partner with, I'm glad you got out 🌹

Trauma Bond is a very real thing.

@Joan Arc isn't everything "narcissistic abuse" this generation's favorite buzz label. Smh

@@nonenone9892 I thought it was "trauma bond". Smh

More people need to recognise the signs of love bombing. 2 people Ik that have lived or are currently living in domestic violence have said the same thing as you about having periods where you are so happy. "But when its good its really good" this has become a major red flag for me. I've never lived in domestic violence and I can't say in my relationship we have these times where things are just so good and so happy. We have fun together and we have disagreements but the status of the relationship and our feelings remains neutral and doesnt fluctuate like that.

Because it’s a power trip. The abuser will not voluntarily give up their power source- the people or animals they abuse.

Narcissistic supply. They can only thrive be putting others down.

Victims are groomed. you end up believing everything that is said to you. Also, leaving is the most dangerous time. Many abused people are killed in the time after leaving. Often with their children.

This woman had a personality disorder. Borderline personality disoder.

It’s like a fly in a spider web - being targeted move by move - up then down, up then down. They systematically break you down. Your soul and personhood gets smaller and smaller. They break your spirit, steel your money and do a smear campaign to destroy your relationships. The courts, lawyers and people like you side with the charming covert bully and when you leave you are left a broken bag lady. They have bled you dry and they leave you out to hang. Evil.

That's great!!!

It is great to hear what you did. Women like you are needed in this world.

Being with you has helped to build him up again.

Lovely

@@damongirl66 me and God with the power of Jesus Christ! We have established a great relationship. I wish you wellness and peace. God bless.

I’m seeing this six months after you posted. I hope you are continuing to heal, rebuilding your self confidence, and learning just how very worthy a person you are. Thank you for standing up for those who are/were in your position. Praying health and happiness for you. 🙏🏼

21:54 i hope you are doing well and are healing from the last 8 yrs. Sending love and blessings.❤❤

Research Trauma Bond...its what keeps abused people in the relationship. A slow insidious degrading of everything that makes you human.

it’s not love but codependency.

They feel sorry for them.

He probably grew up in an abusive household. It's what is known, comfortable, and crazily enough feels like love.

My uncle Jim was like this with my aunt Blanche. She was a whole beech but he loved her and stayed. We joked she would pass and he'd get a few years of peace before death.... they died within 24 hours of each other. Trauma responses mixed with "love" be crazy a.f.

I wish all the best for him. ❤️❤️

With two failed Marriages he also had a problem.

His friend likes him.

@@anitastanley8986 that’s not fair. You are judging him on his failed marriages but you don’t know why those marriages failed.

One of the most hurtful things that happened to me was that if someone brings up the DV, my story when I mention the details, was so extreme that people thought I was making it up. My youngest daughter who was a baby at the time and so doesn’t remember any of it, went ahead and invited him to her wedding before she told me, ordinarily that wouldn’t affect me. However in doing so it meant that I couldn’t attend, not because I was physically afraid - but psychologically I couldn’t bear to be around him. I would have a panic attack or worse. All she could have done was talk about it with me, I could understand her point of view, I only wanted her to understand mine, I was heartbroken - I had a beautiful dress picked out. That I never got to wear 🥺. In effect she made me a victim twice.

I don't understand why it took 20 years to get away from this nutcase

@@TLR1219 Things would start getting better and then they'd get bad again. It just takes some people a long time to learn. I have learned my lesson for sure. I know a guy who went through something similar twice!

She don't have any mental illness it is her nature to behave and conduct like that.

​@@Fan-zx1lz yes that is right. She has done these crimes knowing she is abusing her partner.

People at that far end of the narcissistic spectrum are beyond help. It IS their only personality. There is nothing in their minds to change. It simply isn't there.

@joanarc7963 ALL people have some form of narcissistic tendancies. If they didn't they would all be door mats. Most don't have enough to call them an actual narcissist. It is a spectum, for everyone.

Yep and they target passive people like Tony

You had no choice ...you saved your son.

@@lindamahrer7067 thanks I've never regretted my choice. He just left from a visit. He's a wonderful husband and father. I'm so proud. We see each other every week.

Way to get yourself and your son free. I heard it once, "you can't take on someone else's 'karma' ... My mom used to say, "they'll get theirs but you won't be the one to give it to them." Thanks for sharing and helping others.

God bless you so much.

You did the right thing, thank you for saving your son. You are his hero.

Yes. Men also have feelings and men also should feel safe around the woman they are living with.

Sadly, if we defend ourselves, then we wind up in jail...😮

Never stoop to their level. Get away from them.

I absolutely do not believe those statistics.

​@@beastshawneeThen, conduct a statistical study...😮

Great for raising such a gentle Human being

Praying for your strength and insight to love and protect yourself and your children, if you have them! Never, ever go back. You are so right! It never gets better, only WORSE!!! 🙏🙏🙏 sending prayers, light, goodness, kindness, peace and happiness, with LOVE ❤️

@@sharinmythoughts2510 thank you kind person 🙏🙏🙏

This is about it happening to men not women. We don’t care what you went through.

@@JohnDavis-yz9nq now that’s mean!

@@justred5164 women refuse to believe that it happens to men as well. There are as many mean women in this world as there are men. A mean woman can be a lot more dangerous than a man.

Not that it would give her an excuse for her actions but it would be nice to know what aided in creating the monster.

I'm sure she treated them just as terrible. Even if a person is severely abused in childhood or whatever the case may be. You must seek help for yourself, seek Christ, heal, and get help for yourself in Jesus' name. So that you don't harm self or others to the best of your ability.