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Traits that predict chronic illness: 1. Automatic concern for other people's (emotional) needs above our own; 2. A rigid identification with duty, role and responsibility; 3. Repressed (or suppresed) healthy anger; 4. Two fatal (self-limiting) beliefs: 4.a. Responsibility for other people's emotions; 4.b. "I must not dissapoint anyone".

Dr Gabor Mate is a gift to humanity!!

I had a five-year older sister who was/is a textbook female psychopath. My dad advised me to "never react. That's what she wants. Don't give it to her." I learned to stuff all feelings down, very deep, from a very young age. I was a practicing alcoholic for 45 years. A month before my 60th birthday I had my last drink. I went to AA. I couldn't get into traditional Christianity. I found Zen Master Thich Nhat Hahn videos on KZfaq. I passed 5 years sober and clean last September. Life is far from perfect, but I'm learning, every day, to deal with it in better ways. One of the little gems from early days in sobriety that I always remember is, "It's not about how life is treating you, it's all about how you're treating life."😉🙏💖🙏

00:02 Awareness is powerful for understanding behavior. 02:26 Prioritizing others' emotional needs over your own can lead to chronic illness. 07:05 Personality traits can contribute to illness but it's not your fault 09:06 Changing learned behavior can lead to improved health and longevity 13:39 Physicians' reluctance to embrace the unexplained 15:43 Emotional stress from childhood can impact adult relationships and health. 19:37 Emotional factors may be related to autoimmune diseases. 21:27 Empowering patients with accessible medical information 25:08 Women experience physical implications due to societal roles and stress. 27:18 Acceptance and control are key principles for healing. 31:24 Personality traits like distractibility and hyperactivity can be normal responses to stress in highly sensitive kids. 33:27 The biology of the brain is shaped by the emotional environment. 37:50 Depression in parents can lead to premature birth. 40:11 Expectation on men not to be vulnerable is a huge source of pressure and dysfunction. 44:28 Understanding and dealing with the impacts of parenting on children 46:36 Healing from trauma is essential for passing on less to the next generation. 50:55 Connecting with others is essential for healing and well-being. 53:05 Spirituality and connection to something larger than the individual self are healing. 57:23 Access to therapy may be limited, but there are free resources for psychological healing. 59:37 Stress is the health epidemic of the 21st century. 1:03:46 Trauma is a psychic wound sustained internally, not just the result of external events. 1:05:54 Children need to be seen, heard, and accepted unconditionally. 1:10:12 The impact of traumatic experiences on parenting and society 1:12:08 Parenting practices and stress impact child development. 1:16:05 Gabor Maté reflects on past parenting mistakes 1:18:18 Unresolved trauma may impact parenting behaviors. 1:22:07 Parenting instincts should be trusted over expert advice. 1:24:16 Gabor Maté speaks about the tyranny of the infant's natural desire to be held by parents. 1:28:12 Shame and guilt are not caused by your children. 1:29:57 Practice self-compassion and inquiry for personal growth 1:34:22 Unnecessary obstetrical interventions can interfere with the natural bonding process. 1:36:34 The biggest factor is the stress on parents. 1:41:01 Parental stress and isolation impact child's brain development 1:43:04 Early years should be prioritized for better mental health 1:47:22 Society pushes for independence early on 1:49:29 Supporting children's sense of independence promotes their natural exploration and growth. 1:54:08 Prince Harry's struggle to liberate himself from expectations and programming in a privileged upbringing. 1:56:14 Understanding patient's emotions and motivations 2:00:24 Healthcare professionals treat everyone with compassion. 2:02:32 Emotional deprivation in the royal family and the impact on future generations. 2:06:48 Struggling to be authentic vs. societal expectations. 2:08:54 Acknowledging trauma and having open conversations about mental illness is essential for societal healing. 2:13:10 Gabor Maté explains the reason for looking at his watch during the interview 2:15:11 Seeking help during troubled times is courageous. 2:19:32 Addictions are attempts to gain emotional pain relief. 2:21:39 Addiction is not limited to certain segments of society, it is prevalent across all sections. 2:25:31 Struggling with addiction and finding healthier alternatives 2:27:37 Social demands for self-suppression impact mental and physical health. 2:31:19 Competition can be positive or negative based on intention 2:33:17 Human nature is not inherently selfish or aggressive. 2:37:27 Success is often not in alignment with our true selves 2:39:35 Authenticity leads to true happiness 2:43:32 Embracing internal family systems and self-acceptance leads to contentment and happiness. 2:45:35 Struggling with self-doubt and insecurity while writing a book 2:49:28 Belief that external factors won't affect core happiness 2:51:23 The author reflects on separating the success of his book from his identity. 2:55:13 Handling success at a later age

Gabor speaks the truth .. I became paralyzed from food poisoning- ended up getting Gullian Barre Syndrome ..while in hospital I read his book “ when the body says NO” -it AWAKENEED- I was the C personality ( a nurse by occupation) - I saw the dots all the way back to my childhood - a lot of suppressed emotions/anger… I was fortunate to meet Gabor this year in person - and thanked him ( basically he save my life) - I healed my paralysis by healing my inner child, and culture/societal patterns- no conventional medicine went in my body - used food as medicine , removed all toxic people in my life( boundary setting) and managed my pain with meditation and mantra - I love Gabor - he is the real deal and I wish all conventional doctors would practice under his principles - our current medical systems needs to change desperately- we need better doctors that work with patients holistically - the first question you should be asking any patient is how was your childhood ? Start there . I now am a practising functional medicine nutritionist RN and teach people how to heal their body from the inside . Love you to Rangan ❤

Watching these videos give me the empathy for myself that I need to help me along my healing process.

My self awareness journey with Crohns disease revealed that failing to please significant others, I felt worthless - never achieving connection and feeling unloved. Makes sense that “ self loathing” translates to immune system attacking rather than protecting my body. I am learning to love myself with my Buddhist practice and being Reiki attuned - practices that are mutually beneficial - what I give to others, I receive through my own practices and am not dependent on another for love and self worth🙏❤

I got auto immune disease while married. I was completely debilitated for 3 years. After he die. MY HEALTH-PHYSICAL. MENTAL, EMOTIONAL AND friendships are better than It ever was as an adult. I am 79 years old and been widowed 10 years. My idea of what my role was as wife and mother was killimg me. My husband had the same ideas about my duty to be all things to the family and deny myself what I needed Also, without diet after the stress was gine, I lost 40 pounds without even trying

Gabor made me open my eyes some years ago. I became much more spiritual, started to care for myself much more and made some big changes in my life after getting Ulcerative Colitis and having my colon removed. I'm forever grateful to him. His books are very good indeed and I highly recommend them! Psychedelics also made a huge positive impact on me. Thanks for this great podcast❤

Well done Dr Rangan. You seem to be in the minority of doctors these days. I stay away from doctors who try to push the next tablet onto you without ever looking deeper. I’ve seen a few of your interviews and am so impressed. I just recently found Mate Gabor. What an absolute blessing he is. Love his work and his raw honesty.

I am a huge fan of Gábor and have listened to most podcasts and read his books - still, this mix of several conversations was incredible to watch. Kudos to both of you for not only sharing wisdom but also teaching via your personal stories. ❤

It really is amazing to hear all these conversations about emotional/spiritual/mental health and their impact on the physical. For decades now, I've been watching myself both come unglued (autoimmune disease, mental health) and slowly put back together with a great deal of discomfort. We simply can't realize how unhealthy or unnatural our lives are until we are not that anymore; until we can step out for a moment and really see. Like an alcoholic who sobers up after a lifetime finally grasping the full effects of their ways. It's brutal sometimes, to bear witness to the truth, and it takes not just curiosity but great courage to make these changes in the face of those truths. Sometimes it's also incredibly lonely giving up old relationships that are unhealthy and finding others. This work is not like changing one's DNA, it IS changing one's DNA, and can feel like shredding skin. The best and most uplifting work I'll ever have the privilege of doing.

My mother is just like this is very sick now ! I'm listening to things so I don't go down myself! THANK YOU ❤

Gabor is really a gift to the world. I feel so grateful to find out about him a year or so ago.

You are a gift too Doc C! You have a lot of people in the US who appreciate your kindness . Goes along way!

I love Dr. Mate. ❤ and this program is wonderful. There are too many commercial interruptions on KZfaq . It’s horrible.

I absolutely love this man🙏!! I’m so happy the information is getting noticed now🙏

There's a lot of men who aren't scared of being vulnerable but we have a society that exploits all vulnerability usually done in a insidious passive manner

In my country, the mandatory maternity leave is 120 días. 30 days before and 90 days after the delivery. It is paid in full; one portion by the employer ando other by the social security system.

I’m so grateful to you both. Came across this podcast at a time when I really really needed it. Thank you

Thank you for this conversation, doctors! It is a healing by itself. A perfect Valentine's gift, it's February 14.

I love this podcast, and have deep respect for both Dr Rangan and Dr Gabor. 💗💗🙏🙏🙏

I am honestly blown away at just how insightful and intelligent Dr. Mate is. He is just so inspiring to me. He is kind, insightful, and just do enlightened as a person.

Ii have so much rispect for Mate; he has been outspoken about the killings of the Palestinians , not fearing what outcome may rise

People can't even get GP's appointments,mental health services are useless or even on their knees...its great that you have these conversations and for those who are able to hear or see them and take action but often those in positions of power an authority and health professionals and teachers etc and those who have alot of influnece in how people see themselves and influence say young childrens lives and families lives then these ideas and practices are far from commonly applied. Too many people are met with judgement and professionals too often assume knowledge or fail themselves to be inquiring in the way that Gabor suggests they need to be,unfortunately the way society works and systems of power mean that too often people either hand over power to those who they think onow better or those who think they know better disempower those who could be doing alot more to help themselves.

I wanted to thank you for the breathing book! Very kind of you to share your knowledge with us. I already know it's going to be extremely helpful! Much Love to you Rangan.

Dr GABOR is a Real blessing!!!

great conversation! But I disagree on the "blame and guilt doesn't help"-statement, made several times here. It DOES help! Because blame and guilt feel so damn uncomfortable that they could be a great motivator to CHANGE something in the future. But I agree that it does not help anyone to be stuck in blame and guilt. We have to be compassionate with our mistakes cause we truely did the best we could do at that time. We did not know any better. So acknoledge blame and guilt but then understand it, understand yourself, feel with yourself and do a better job next time.💚

Im very grateful to you both for sharing such a powerful knowledge , you two most precious human beings helping people dealing with their trauma . You the best. Blessings to you both ❤🙏

I have been shattered in multiple ways in the last few years and particularly physically since last summer. Being driven into a corner, thankfully, has forced me to realise many of the subversive damning thoughts and actions I've been afflicting myself with. It's been empowering and exciting to address these issues and become better, it really has been like finding my true original personality beneath these adaptations. The social cultural aspect feels very real also. As a brown British person, not unlike Chatterjee here, and also quite short, there is a stark difference in how people treat me compared to others of different stature and race. The UK and London are supposed to be progressive places, but we've become lazy with true equality because there's an illusion that we've already mostly reached it - especially when comparing with America. I wish I could do more to push towards a more real equality, but for now I will heal and be better!

❤❤❤ my parents were Hungarians With Canadian citizenship. I feel a connection with your honesty and truth

Great questions Dr Chatterjee (and of course, great responses from Dr Mate). Also, appreciate the honesty of the two of you.

Two brilliant gentlemen talking : )

I'm seventy years old and have been an alcoholic and an addicted to opiates for most of my life and didn't know why I was. Society told me why I was this way i.e. some sort of character flaw so I believed it. I was adopted at a very young age and from that came a fear of abandonment which has plagued me all of my life

I believe we also have to look at the gut/brain connection when looking at the increase in mental illness and neurological disorders; the effects of glyphosate; and the prolific consumption of food-like products.

I wish I could speak with Dr.Rangan Chatterji about this subject. Excellent in-depth analysis and insight into the topics I wish I had watched when my children were young.

What a joy to hear these two talk. Beautiful. Thank you both. This is incredibly beneficial. Much love to you both. It helped me.

Nice idea of the guest filming themselves in the room while talking. Very cosy. Like it. Thanks

wow! my grandmother developed MS after the birth of her youngest, when my mother was 15. After her death at 96 and a life of suffering, it comes out that her youngest was not her husbands. She spent her life suppressing this and as a consequence developed MS. You guys are absolute pioneers of information. Keep it coming

Thank you two!

Realisation, acceptance forgiveness = healing 🙏

Jee i love your chatter Dr Chatterjee! Thanks for the great interview

1:12:02 🎯🎯🎯 yes. It’s gut wrenching. So so gut wrenching.

Thank you so much for this amazing podcast!! I absolutely loved the different sections. I have seen so many of Dr Maté's videos and I get something from them everytime I watch one! Best thing to remember is the compassion we need to give to ourselves and others.

Very powerful podcast. Loved it. Thank you so much !

Super grateful for you Gabor and your shared wisdom and knowledge over passing few years. Sensemaking, sanity brain gym. Cheers to 2024. Thankyou both. 💜

I trust these two doctors with my life.

1:04:40 and when it is all the T’s a few times.. the validations Dr. Mate presents some people see themselves as not broken or bad but valid and accept themselves… allows you to see that you not only matter now but always have, that it IS a big deal how much you have gone through but more importantly the rejection you experienced by yourself; by the mal treatment of others in your life and the imperfections 1:09:29 as a parent … Just all the validation.and places for me to accept myself

Gabor Mate MD PhD ❤

Thank you for this great interview, it was good to see two of my favourite doctors coming together

I got hit all the time growing up but I don’t hold contempt against my parents at all. We’re all in this tough work, full of societal and cultural expectations. My parents were poor but they did their best. I’m not going to hold the one slap above all the amazing sacrifices they did for me. I don’t know what people are so judgemental about these things

Gabor Mate’ is Genius!💞

@2:54 to 4:45 sums up the message

Thank you ❤

This guy is a LEGEND!

This is what i will show my kids one day

If we make mistake, acknowledge & learn from mistake by moving forward by making change to do better. If we stay in guilt we are being selfish & not present or ready to make change

Love these two!

So refreshing and inspiring to listen to such profound wisdom and knowledge that is clearly giving me guidance towards a better me thank u 🙏 blessings two u both we can be so lucky to have Dotors like u in our world ✨✨✨✨🙏✨✨❤️☀️☀️☀️

Love Dr Chatterjees content

I have watched many of your videos, and I can resonate with them. You have not revealed to me the cause on my situation ; I worked that out reading Jung and having good therapy. Certainly you are correct, the cause of my isolation lies in my very early years, but , the resolution is much harder than your self help make money one liners , oh how I wish it were, btw I’m 71 and still trying to break free .

You can’t even get into see a Dr. And if you do most just send you off with prescriptions for meds!

Love this interview. So interesting and important. I'm definitely type C. 😮

Such good questions. Thank you. Such pearls of wisdom!

I wish that you or Gabor Mate had a list called "Doctors like me in your area" because it is so hard to find those that subscribe to your school of thought. It could be a list where doctors who think like you could subscribe to, so people could find them.

Thank you for sharing this powerful information.

29:43 Love to listen to you two. You are a winning combination to help me understand my illness, people, physicians but mostly you keep my hopes up and I heal myself a little everytime I listen to your encounters. . Thanks a thousand times for creating these simple, humble conversations for people to discover in their lives their own patterns, past experiences and to encourage me to choose to love myself first. I need to love myself and to take care of myself first and accept that I deserve to be loved. This is something I have to affirm very often, every day of my life till I trespass to repair the lack of love received as a child but mostly the abuse suffered in an alcoholic family. And I love you as very open minded individuals with whom I share this compassion, humanity, curiosity, humility and desire to heal others and myself. Wished you had been my parents.😢Happy to parent myself. Hard work,...

two great humans gabor mete is doing his great job we want a jewel like mete gaor and rangan keep it up ranan aware the people awreness is necessary

This is such powerful information! Thank You

Thank you both for the work you have been doing, and this podcast you're sharing with us today. I guess also thanks to the collective work done all of these years. I feel like this gets us closer to normalizing adapting, and figuring out what works for us. Knowing the shift that need to slowly take place societally. It starts with each one of us.

Mahalo for this conversation and the legacy of your work, both of you!

Such a blessing .Thank you both.

happy holidays

thank you so much

anyway, thank you doctors 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

Repression is a state of habituated dysregulation. Dysregulation is resistance. We're not scared of dysregulation. We're really scared of flow.

I would like to avoid the grief I get from physicians (and surgeons!) when I exert agency. I’m so astonished by how unprofessional and unethical MDs can be. It feels so unsafe.

I gotta say, it’s getting a bit annoying with everyone constantly harping on “we didn’t learn that in medical school” or “they don’t learn that in medical school.” I get the point, but I feel it’s important to think about it in terms of INSTEAD OF. So, if we want physicians to have more schooling in nutrition, well that’s probably good but INSTEAD OF what. Or do we add another semester, year, two years, three years to the already long and intense education they are already receiving? It’s not like they are sitting around not doing anything, or aren’t studying important stuff during medical school. It’s always such a sharp criticism, but feels poorly thought out. Maybe physicians can learn about emotions INSTEAD OF brain physiology, or the cardiovascular system, or medication interactions.

What if your kid runs into the street? Like I get okay, have all this compassion, I really do. I love this. But is there ever a consequence or a way to stop them sometimes, like how does that work in all of this?

Very informative.

Always a great listen with Gabor. These two are such a great pair. ❤

Once you are aware of the states you are in, it is so helpful to understand and implement practices to help these shifts. Another trauma response that I experienced was dissociation. There were times when I felt like I was watching myself from outside of my body, or that I was disconnected from my emotions and was living in a distress milieu. This was a way for my brain to protect me from overwhelming feelings or sensations, but it also made it difficult for me to connect with others and feel like I was fully present in my own life. Emotional dysregulation was also a big challenge for me, as I would sometimes experience intense mood swings or emotional outbursts that felt difficult to control. Same thing about my childhood. I remember my head getting slammed into a coffee table, being forced to lie to my parents about it. But for some reason, whenever I think back to this, there isn’t any sort of emotional response. Having an understanding on your emotions can help you focus those negative emotions into a productive manner and that's a human experience in your volition. Anger gets you energized to take action, makes you think on what to do. It invites change. It shows you have boundaries on what you tolerate and don't tolerate. I don’t get nervous, touchy, saddened, or enraged about it. Actually, I don’t feel anything about it at all. I can look back and be like “That looks like a pretty rough time that person is having. "but that’s all it is to me. A memory. A thought. There isn’t any internal response. I want you to know that trauma responses are a normal and natural reaction to a traumatic event, and it's important to be gentle and patient with yourself as you navigate these experiences. Self-Compassion is really the key.

SO GRATEFUL for the both of you. Your work goes beyond life changing. Its impact is generational. Was in tears for much of this video. There is so much here I feel I need to watch again. Blessings to you both and your generations.

I have to say, the man looks sharp for he's age.

Dr. Gabor is a sage-- a modern-day Aristotle or Plato! 🧠

Such a great interview. One of his books is on my amazon list. Thank you again;

FASCINATING conversation. Thank you for sharing ❤🙏

Great conversation, thought-provoking... Dr Gabor is so melancholic (in the best way, if that makes sense) reminds me of a donkey and I love donkeys.

I almost feel that our work culture is aimed at stressing us out for example: movie industry, usually 3 months long, doing craftservice, we are the first to arrive and the last to to leave, locations are usually 5o miles away, everynight only 3 hours sleep, you have to interact with talent and crew, we are expected to be nice work really hard from about 5am- 1-2am and do it all over again , we are expected to keep coolers full, trash picked-up, and the mobile unit stocked like a store and set-up tables with platters of fresh food. This is insane !!! Then most recently the majority of the population lives pay-check to pay check, with inflation, home costs that are unattainable, public schools that don't educate for success, coming from traumatized homes getting beat, sexually abused, stressed, expected to house clean, do well in school, and lastly expected to brush aside the feeling that your parent is going to kill you everyday everyday and everyday, I myself have given up !!!!!!!!!!

It would be interesting to hear your thoughts regarding the development of seizures later in life. Personally I was diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of 18 (I am 30 now) however during that time I was dealing with having spoken openly about being sexally abused as a child by a family member, which led on to years of confusement as to what I should do now, and how to heal the wounds that were never 100% taken care of at the time because I was silent about this from the age of 5 years old. I believe there is a link between the trauma and development of seizures at that time, I took medications for years which never worked and recently have come off all medications which is great, but it was very hard and my neurologist did not want me to do this, however I felt like I needed to understand myself again deeper, and this seemed like the only way to reach that mindset.

So many vlog hosts on youtube seem so similar, interesting talk

I regret working hard. I have nothing to show for my life but work…but the lazy goof-offs I’ve been employed with have proven to be successful, wealthy, and continue to get what they want through manipulation, not effort or struggle.

i am so happy to see you talk to him again. this is a christmas gift for me. thank you so much

I love gabor mate❤

Thank you 👁️ shared

دكتور غابور ماتي تعلمت أن أقول لا بقوه وبفعاليه

Another nice story like Pinnochio is The Velveteen Rabbitt much love ❤

Soot on ❤

Such a great interview.