Pinned comment for some info I wanted to provide and some FAQs. Also, for anyone asking: All music is listed in the credits. First off, I'm still running my TF2 server at tf2.pog.gay for those who want to join. Here's the steam group: steamcommunity.com/groups/DoctorOffice Additionally, I've set up a Discord server so people can more easily coordinate playing on the server, if they feel like it: discord.gg/DMQ5WVyFGr Now, the FAQ (except most of these arent actually frequently asked questions but rather just things i figure people might be curious about): Q: Why did you take so long to make this? A: Mostly just procrastination, mixed with having a full-time job and all that. I actually started on this back in 2022, just a matter of months after releasing the first one. There were just so many long stretches of time where I just did not work on the video because I'm not exactly great at motivating myself to work on my stuff. Fun fact, though, this still took me LESS time to finish than the first one, which I started in 2018 and took me three years until I released it in 2021. That also means the timing of releasing this, in regards to people's dissatisfaction with Valve in particular recent times, is pretty much just a coincidence. Q: Why switch to mostly SFM instead of GMod like most of the first one was made with? A: GMod has always been very frustrating to use for me. SFM just has so many quality of life features that make me vastly prefer using it over GMod for most purposes. SFM has its own problems but animating in GMod always feels like the whole animation's gonna fall apart any minute. (And animating dialogue with Stop Motion Helper was a pain.) Q: Will there be a 3.0? A: Maybe. Making this video was a huge undertaking (by far the most complicated, work-intensive video I have ever made) so I'm not currently exactly jumping at the opportunity to get right to making more, but I won't rule it out. Over the past two years I generated a LOT of patch notes, way more than I could ever hope to fit into this video, so I've got a lot more that would be fun to animate. Q: Can I use clips of this in my own videos/sprays/whatever other kind of content? A: Yep, under three conditions: First, you're not just reuploading the video in its entirety, two, you're not using it to promote hate speech or other nasty things, and three, you credit me whatever way you can. Q: I noticed a mistake! A: My bad. It wasn't until a while after upload that I noticed those. In any potential future installments I'll probably have to keep notes of rules instilled by patch notes rather than just relying on my own memory like I did for this one and the last one. Q: What's a small bit/joke/detail no one's mentioned you wanted to bring up? A: During the "Heavy Weapons Engineer" bit, Engineer is tied to an anchor to keep him from floating away due to gravity no longer affecting him. (This doesn't work as well as intended because Engineer is seen not floating away during the Money Shot sequence.) I also personally like the bit where the Narrator gets annoyed in the background at John Valve carelessly throwing his laptop around. Q: Was AI used for any aspect of this video other than the patch notes? A: Nope, the patch notes are generated with NovelAI due to the main point of the video being to laugh at how bad an AI's idea of a TF2 update would be, but AI is not involved in any other way. Q: There should be a server with these changes implemented! A: Funny idea in theory, but probably wouldn't work super well in practice. I've considered the idea (despite my lack of knowledge on making server plugins) and generated some potential "updates" to use for it, but am still skeptical. If anyone has any idea on how to make it an enjoyable experience, let me know. (Maybe a randomizer-type gamemode, where a random set of patch notes is implemented each round?)

4:25 Heavy’s face when he finds out the cement block does absolutely nothing for him gets me every time

6:51 not gonna lie, soldier's hug was pretty wholesome

8:45 “Last chance to look at me Demo-Man

8:57 is basically “Heavy is now Engineer, Engineer is now Medic, Medic has no more purpose now”

8:56 "if heavy could build his own teleporters he'd be 200% better"

5:13 The dedication to actually going to a supermarket and slap a piece of paper of how Heavy's Meatball Pizza is discontinued on a freezer.

7:56 “Team vanishes. You remain” is extremely ominous

5:39 the detail of demo kicking sniper on the shoulder really shows how happy they are

"What have we done" Made the demand for a "If Team Fortress 2 Was Updated by a Bot 3.0" that's what!

Engi mouthing “what the fuck?” at 9:12 was marvelous.

3:18 I love how happy Soldier is that he is finally human After all these years he finally made it, god bless him

4:34 Man my favorite part of Superbad was when Heavy and McLovin' bonded with those cops near the end of the movie, and McLovin got to try out Heavy's gun after they became good friends after all

7:39 i love how blue soldier asks red engineer to build a dispenser

4:20 caught me completely off-guard. It's literally a "you spent 5 seconds eating cement, dumbass" item.

"To be classified as dead, must die" is already the funniest thing i heard on the year, nothing else can beat it

9:09 repairing teammates isn’t too crazy considering that the engineer could do that in the original team fortress.

7:03 The engineer was so proud himself you can just hear it and see it 😭

The face Heavy made while chewing on the cement block was killing me, great video!

“Alright going to go eat some golf and play some caviar” John valve.

Most OP weapons in the update: 3: The Money Shot 2: The Assman *1: Biscuits*

9:02 remember when lazypurple said if heavy could build his own teleports he would be 200 times better?

the 3 hit combo of the Engineer losing the ability to do his job, being given the Medi Gun and then having his name changed to the Medic was brilliant

Imagine weezer records being a homing guilotene for the scout. - homes onto enemies - record deals %200 more decapitation damage

8:00 the genuine fear on this man's eyes

4:34 I cannot imagine how many times it took you to do that one without laughing, and I can still hear the smile in your speech.

3:19 I love how soldier goes:" Yay im human now! 😀👍" And the spy is like:" Wait, you weren't human before? 🤨"

The Fluffy Felt Rocket sounds like a legitimate joke weapon for Valentine's Day or something. I love it, in fact I love this whole series.

1:25 gotta love a good psychonauts reference

10:07 To be fair, the sniper rifle was removed earlier, so this is actually a solution

6:06 already far too true for f2ps

7:42 ah yes the blue soldier asking the red engi for a dispenser. With a sentry casually shooting at something else

5:34 "The Sniper Bots has been defeated, we can now play the game in peace" *See that they now equip with Huntsman Bow* "............shit."

the humor is so perfectly in line with the ironic whimsy of the game, 10/10

7:25 nice breaking bad reference

8:15 TICK TOCK HEAVY LIKE A BRINKS TRUCK

I like how it keeps acting like intentional limitations in weapons and functions and flat-out things outside of any kind of relevancy are just longstanding bugs.

for real though, it's surreal seeing this video in its completed state after watching you make (most of) it over your shoulder for the past several months. you've come really far with your animation and joke composition skills since the first video, and ideally I'll continue to watch over your shoulder as you get even better 💜 the weezer shot was pristine btw

6:45 that seems like an actual joke weapon VALVe would add.

8:25 ngl, I like this concept a lot for a new throwable.

I like how blue and red get along sometimes

8:23 would actually be a cool weapon concept.

He returned when we needed him most!

5:53 Spy:Become Demoman

"fixed a bug that could cause unusual particles to appear above players' heads" "fixed a bug where the engineer could only build one sentry gun at once" the implication that these things were unintended bugs made these even more hilarious than the other changes

4:25 His face of complete disbelief is so priceless

6:37 I love the fact that scout has no option but to surrender because he has no weapons other than melee.

the look of betrayal that the heavy from the movie "superbad" gives after eating a brick is peircing

9:05 LOL

3:09 I love how the Medic sees the Sniper, he must be thinking something like "mmh, Ja, fascinating idea Sniper, that might help"

7:53 of course the ass man causes your team to disappear, cause what else would it do

6:33 needs to be a meme

9:31 soldier got crushed

I just noticed the Sniper Rifle is also gone from the van at 3:57 because it was removed. Fantastic attention to detail.

The fluffy felt rocket looks like a really good Valentine’s Day add in as an alt for the stock, in similarity to the original

6:25 i can see how this could work, during the last minute of the game, the winning team has all of their engineers equip it, and it takes 20 seconds to activate, the engineer can now be killed by their own team, and they glow while its being activated

8:37, why does he hop away like a veggietales character

The self-restraint on the direct hit BLU soldier at 7:49 for not blasting a helplessly floating engineer.

9:12 Identity crisis

1:30 milk users getting a massive killstreak with stunlocks and sun-on-a-stick kills (item asylum)

Now make part 3 🔫

5:20 Medic looks so proud and happy about this. It's a pretty endearing sight to see and felt happy for him even though "nothing" changed

4:36 arrested development reference

7:10 I built dat and dat Demo man: DEAR GOD

6:41 ngl... and actualy funny idea that could be a nice re-skin

Heavy eating the concreate block only yo find out it had no effect had me dying 4:15 😂

3:19 that spy's reaction

Honestly, the Fluffy Felt Rocket could go well as a Valentine’s Day exclusive weapon, and the getaway van (with a few tweaks, i.e. removing the exploding and self inflicted assassination) could actually work well as part of a sniper subclass.

i can't subscribe enough times for the "fixed a bug where the engineer is still able to do his job" bit

Timestamps for all the updates if you are curious or something: 1:01 - The rioting townspeople from the city have joined the battle! They are all very angry. 1:06 - The Demoman flammable bottle now ignore with contact with flame. -The Demoman's scrumpy is now fueled by flame. 1:09 - The graffiti on the buildings has been changed to show more violence. 1:21 - The cop car from the city has joined the battle! 1:29 - The milkman has been transformed into a deranged pyromaniac 2:23 - Added a new class, the Scout 2:31 - Scout has no gun and uses only melee weapons. 2:38 - Player can now disable Beggar's Bazooka through a console command 2:55 - Fixed an issue where the medic beam would not hurt the opposing team 3:04 - Removed the ability to use the toilet 3:09 - The Sniper from Team Fortress 2 is able to aim up to 1.6 meters away for maximum accuracy 3:19 - The soldier is now human. 3:25 - Players will now able to save at any point of the game 3:36 - New Weapon! The Getaway Van Level 15 Moving Device for Sniper Initiates drive-by assassination on any player (self-included) To be classified as dead: must die Randomly explodes upon activation 4:04 - The Scout now has a brown afro, the Heavy now sports a mohawk, and the Engineer is now bald. 4:15 - The Cement Block Level 10 sandvich for Heavy This item does not restore health 4:28 - Fixed a glitch where pro's melee damage would not apply on pools of water. 4:35 - The Heavy Weapons Guy from the movie "Superbad" who is in charge of bomb-laden car that will crash into a bridge in the middle of a major street and kill thousands of people. 4:48 - The Scout is now equipped with the Gasoline Fingers taunt. 4:58 - The Pyro is now slightly smaller. 5:02 - Fixed a bug that could cause unusual particlee to appear around players' heads. 5:10 - The Heavy's meatball pizza has been discontinued. 5:18 - The MedicGun has been made slightly more MedicGun-ish 5:23 - The Flash Bang Grenade Level 1 Party Hat for Pyro Creates 5 second flashbang effect every 5 minutes on wearer Kills you upon use 5:35 - The Sniper Rifle has been removed 5:41 - The Flare Grenade Level 1 Molotov Cocktail for Spy Innocent civilian suffers major burn. On use, ejects one of the player's eyes 5:57 - New Rules: No selling weapons on the internet - No selling drugs - No talking during the match 6:10 - The Self-Deprecating Sapper Level 30 Sappers for Engineer Initiates a complex hacking algorithm using ancient technologies lose the match once deployed. 6:33 - Heavy's Sandvich only spawn after he kill at least one team-member. 6:41 - The Fluffy Felt Rocket Level 5 Rocket Launcher for Soldier On Hit: explode in an adorable way Explosion deals +100% more love +75 increase in hugs received 6:57 - Fixed a bug where the Engineer could only build one Sentry Gun at once 7:14 - Spies can now shoot through walls 7:32 - Reduced the Spy's headshot damage to 0 7:37 - The Engineer is no longer affected by gravity 7:52 - The Assman Level 10 Hand Weapon For Scout On Hit: Team vanishes. You remain 8:04 - The Money Shot Level 1 Adrenaline Rifle for Soldier On Owner's death: All other players die instantly Upon Death. Player respawns wearing nothing but money strapped to their ass. 8:20 - The Wearer is now unlocked by default 8:28 - If you didn't like our original joke then this next one should be even better: - The Constipated Notice has been implemented 8:46 - The Demoman now wears an iron lung. 8:56 - *New Class: Heavy Weapons Engineer* - The Heavy can now use all normal Engineers tools - Fixed a bug where the Engineer was still able to do his job - The Engineer can now repair himself and his teammates - Changed name of the Engineer class to Medic. 9:16 - Biscuits Level 5 Sausage Roll for Heavy All damage is increased by 100% Alt-fire: Collapse the world. 11:48 - Soldier's neck has been removed. Patch Notes: Added Soldier's neck has been removed. Added car after bomb-laden Removed the Hearted comment

6:40, finally a way in which friendlies can fight back

The medigun hurting the enemy players is actually a good idea tho!

god, youre a comedic genius. that ending where you expect john valve to reference anything else from the video, but he just keeps doubling down on weezer

"The soldier is now human" is something that would be a joke in the later TF2 comics. Again some of these do sound like jokes from TF2 official non game stuff Also love how even the AI/bot is disliking dealing with snipers.

i fucking love 4:34, it's so fucking funny, the line not making any sense, the visualization, all of it. its perfect.

You can actually see how his animation and SFM skills have improved DRASTICALLY since the first ITF2WUBAB video 2 years ago. Great work.

The fluffy felt rocket is adorable

Don't think I've been in this much pain from laughing since the first part. The references, animation details, jokes and just sheer absurdity are all perfectly on point.

7:45 literally had me dying laughing bru😭

The absolute bewilderment and anger on Heavy's face when he was told the Cinderblock doesn't restore health just sends me

3:37 the sniper van broke me. it lives rent free in my head now

Two years waiting since the last "If TF2 was updated by a bot", and it was ENTIRELY worth it. Love it

5:38 I love how Demoman just kicks Sniper in the shoulder in the middle of his dance.

4:22 heavy's expression is the funniest thing ever

I feel like the gasoline fingers taunt would be fit for an actual taunt, because hey heavy, shooting with a finger gun is not bizarre enough but I feel like this could actually be in the game 4:52

4:29 Damage applying on pools of water is the funniest thing to come from this video.

5:34 Finally! A solution to the bot problem!

7:27 i love that breaking bad refetence

7:25 I wasn't expecting a breaking bad reference 10/10

The demoman actually kicking the sniper while he was dancing was insane attention to detail.

Never thought a masterpiece of a video like this would get a sequel, completely unexpected.

Medic beam hurting the opposing beam would be quite cool. Congratulations, you’ve reinvented Pyro.

I love the dawning looks of horror on characters faces throughout this video

I’m back for my Spring Semester for university and this is DEFINITELY the pick me up I need. 6:50 This part is also really nice.

My god, the comedic timing is impecabble. I burst out laughing at almost every turn. 6:10 is by far my favorite. All that buildup for nothing. 7:17 is just as good too.

3:01 when I was younger I actually thought the medic could steal health

2:54 ngl a medigun that slowly kills enemies would go hard asf, something like the microwave beam from doom eternal

6:57 UncleDane dream.

2:57 unironically good idea for an unlockable, a medigun that heals less but can hurt the enemy players.

6:45 was strangely wholesome. Put a smile on my face