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"But then again, that's nothing new."
I'm so fucking tired.
This is a song that speaks to a lot of people. As such, there are a lot of interpretations. But I wanted to do this right.
Depression, anxiety, and suicide are all very real. There's no magical solution. It's a constant, painful struggle that swallows your life, if you could say it was any way to live at all.
It's something you work through, for what feels like the longest stretch of your life. And getting started is the hardest part, when even the smallest of steps feel like they're on a tightrope.
But please, don't be afraid to get help. There are people out there who want to help you. Just take that first step, and I promise you.
Please be strong. Please be safe.
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Vocals: Akane Sasu Sora
Lyrics: Akane Sasu Sora
Mixing: BriCie (bit.ly/BriCie)
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LYRICS:
There is nothing in my fridge but the pills that I take
and the tea I drink it down with at least twice a day
Every swallow, every bottle, they don’t help at all
I feel like flying as I fall
Not a single thing is clean here, not even my phone
bearing fingerprints and streaks from the grease of my own
tangled hair that wraps around me and strangles my view
but then again, that’s nothing new
I’ve only just, only just now noticed
ugly brown marks, tracing scars along
and across my wrist, from when I missed...
Hesitated, hoped just a bit
So I lie there, with my eyes shut tightly
No, I can’t move, morning light shines over me, but I don’t...
‘Cause I know it’s not for me.
I have friends, but Eri and Takayuki both
seem too busy for a girl who’s still trying to cope
We don’t call, chat, or hang out, no they’re living their lives
I wish I knew what that was like.
I have family, but it’s pointless, I’m faking a smile
‘cause I’m lying through my teeth, and shaking all the while
What’s the point of blood anyway? They’ll never be proud.
I roll my sleeve and let it out.
I’ve only just barely woken up, yet
I want to sleep in this bed forever,
for all of time. I take a bite
apple, that will pale, snow white.
If I climbed up the veranda, lost my
balance and fell, if I made it look like an accident…
Would heaven still let me in?
Oh, those funny shows I cried watching once
and all the music that had changed my entire life, none
None of them speak to me anymore…
What did I love them for?
I’ve only just, only just now noticed
ugly brown marks, chasing scars along
and across my wrist, from where I missed…
Knock on locked door, I open it.
So I lie here, with my eyes shut gently
Body won’t move, but the morning light shining through I see
I let it take me.
I really tried, I really tried, I did…
but they won’t stop, every day only brought more
pain for me… So why should I feel at all?
I wonder as I fall
I’ve always wanted to fly
So God, just LET ME DIE.
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