Take caution that you’re not sacrificing the other employees for that one lady. I had an employer be so gracious I nearly quit as I was dealing with all the repercussions for that other employee’s slack.

I worked 10 years part time and everything was great. Then, they got a new supervisor. I worked part time because I have a special needs son and need to be there when he got home from school. He has 16 different medical conditions including Epilepsy, so babysitter would not work. Once the new guy came in, he started asking for meetings at night and weird hours when I could not be there. He called me into a individual conference to say I was not a good worker because I couldn't physically attend the meetings outside of the schedule I had already had for 10 years. He knew why I worked part time. He could have cared less. I said at this point, I quit. Best decision I ever made and never looked back.

We had a case like this that went on for years. At some point, our company social service lady stepped in to understand/help. Mom was a secretary, Dad practically unemployed and catching menial jobs where he could. They could not afford all the doctor visits. In the end, the kid had his tonsils removed thanks to a company donation/fund and the problem was solved. Mom got back to work. Dad also got back to work a few months later.

I am currently covering the sales territories for a few of my co workers and shedding light on their family sickness issues that are pretty serious has made me more proud to put in the extra hours to support them in this time of need. However if they hadn’t clearly brought me in on specifically why they’re not working and just weren’t showing up I’d be very upset having to spend an additional 8 hours a day selling for them.

This is literally the reason why I left nursing. We are now on a single income, my husband's. I have 3 kids and they all take turns getting sick and I end up catching EVERY SINGLE THING they bring home. Now that they are older they aren't getting sick as often but it was every 2-3 weeks one of them was getting sick. It's hard and stressful to constantly call in sick and hard on my co-workers.

Most people dont get it until they go through it, and we all suffer from memory loss and are quick to gossip, building a culture of honesty and respect makes it easier to weed out rift raft, what Dave explained here is a perfect example of great leadership and a healthy working environment

I had an employee with a chronically ill child so always late, always calling in. Everybody had empathy, but it really was a strain because everyone else had to cover her workload.

I had a co-worker who work 4 days a week for almost 15 years. None of her kids are sick but as her husband has the « important job » she need to deal with all the family issue. The fact she give her 100% during the 4 days she’s in, and we all know her availability in advance it was easier for our manager to compose with the team capacity. There is nothing more frustrating than to deal with surprise when we have enough work challenges. It’s a matter of respect and being reliable.

Then you have the people who are perpetually in turmoil. They never get there act together. That affects team morale.

I'm a very delicated employee that always met attendance standards. after the ten year mark, my parents went through terrible medical issues that lead to their deaths. I'm super thankful my employer returned loyalty by giving me the time off to handle things and care for my mom in the nursing home and brother with special needs both out of state at the time. FMLA helped as well. Thankful they gave grace during a season of handling emergency calls during work hours and out of state visits

Super big respect to Dave. Dave sharing about the girl with cancer and returning to work for him after being treated right, just hits home. He had to hold back tears there too..

Hey, from an ex-small cancer patient's dad here: thanks for standing up for that mom and her family. It's like going through a car wreck with your kid for months and months on end. The best thing you can ever do is that what Dave explained.

Dave is so kind! Chad doesn’t know his employee’s details. Speaking with her would really help him and his other employees understand what’s going on. The other employees might feel resentful but if they know what’s going on, that will change.

Why did Dave not talk about the possibility of her just using "my kid is sick today" as an excuse every time she wants a day off?

Yeah-it sucks to be a parent in the traditional workforce. As a single parent without extended family (I'm an orphan) I used to work in a low-paying corporate job (about 40k) in a HCOL city and it was a nightmare because the first few years after my kid was born, she was always getting sick (for those that never had to use a daycare - that's just how city daycares are. Lots of germ spreading among children and it's always hard to find openings in cities). Kids are humans-not robots. My boss and coworkers absolutely hated me for being late for work and for having to stay at home because my babysitter or backup babysitter or 2nd back up babysitter wasn't available. I was barely getting any sleep so my productivity completely tanked. After three years, I knew I just couldn't take it anymore and left to go freelance and have never looked back. Funny enough, a year later my daughter outgrew getting sick all of the time. Turned out it was temporary but it just took a few years. Leaving that corporate environment was 100% worth it because now I'm making six figures which I would never have been able to achieve had I stayed. If you're a single parent, traditional work environments just don't work and never will and aren't worth the crazy amount of stress and inflexibility from coworkers and bosses. Traditional work environments are better for people without without kids or for parents who have lots of relatives/extended family nearby to provide support.

We have 4 kids and my husband and I take turns caring for the sick ones to make it more fair. Unfortunately, I always get stuck with the infant that is tougher for a man to watch all day. My boss is very understanding and always says "family first". It's nice to hear him say that, but I also feel incredibly stressed out each time it happens bc I pride myself on dependability and understand the sacrifice of my coworkers, most of whom can't even relate as young men without families. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a temporary problem and eventually they will get sick less and less often. I am extremely grateful to have an employer that understands and cares, but this is not always the case for everyone in my shoes.

I was that employee. My son began having massive seizures when he was 2 and it was the scariest time in my life. It is 10 years later, my 12 year old is doing much better (as are his two younger siblings) and I still work for the same company and likely will until I retire. Thank you Dave for modeling what a great boss does!

Dave, this doesn’t sound like anything near cancer. What grace is extended to those who show up reliably and DO the work? “Market rate”? What is their productivity contribution when they do only their own work? Those of us on the receiving end of this have seen it too many times. So glad I’m self employed now. Thanks for the reminder

I love Dave’s advise! My daughter is 29 with a 4 year old. She’s passionate about her job, a single mom, and works very hard. I work two jobs and can’t help out often. The child gets sick often at daycare, more so when he was younger than now. The other grandma helps out but she gets sick often for whatever reason. My daughter always gets stressed and feels so bad when she calls out. I feel for these single moms or parents who have these special circumstances. Trying to help is the best solution. If they are just taking advantage then they need to know they may be out of a job soon. Have some compassion

This is so relatable for me! My kids are sick constantly. They are young. And there’s three of them! So between the three of them myself and my husband, one of us is always sick and I’m always playing nurse. I told my husband that if I weren’t a stay at home mom and I were actually working I would’ve been fired because I would’ve had to call out so many times. I’m thankful I can stay at home. I feel for this mother and her children who keep getting sick. I also feel for her boss. Tough situation.

What are the other employees getting for doing the extra work? I think everyone but her should get a raise and bonus.

I just love it when employees who are always calling in thank NO ONE for covering for them. Those can go straight to the unemployment line as far as I'm concerned. I don't care WHAT the reason is, you should thank people.

The biggest issue is when others are forced to do someone else's work. It builds resentment among the workers who do show up for work.

Sounds like he’s a good employer to even care about his decision. We have an employee that shows up late every day. Calls out sick at least once a week. Her co workers are just tired of it.

Ugh. Ive been on both sides of this. Ive had to cover for a woman who would call out about once every 3 weeks because of her kids, and ive gotten a pile of you know what for trying to schedule a day off to take my kids to the doctors to get their immunizations

This was a great question… sounds like this caller has the best of intentions and has a company mindset that is missing in America these days. God Bless them.. I hope this employee can see some relief from her child’s ups and downs.. but, I will say I have worked with people that put way too much on their personal plate and have come to expect flexibility all the time. That’s annoying.

Agree with all of what Dave said here. My dad had a disloyal employer even though he had worked for them for decades. It was 30 years ago and i still remember the negative impacts.

It wasn’t just the kid being sick it was the caregiver too. The speaker was so proud of his answer, but he didn’t really listen to the question that should have been stated “what do I do when my employee keeps making excuses for being off work?”

I totally needed this episode. Thank you!

I love good people so much. In this world its such a blessing to know that there are people here who do have wisdom.

Ramsey should volunteer to pay her salary for the next couple of months!

Excellent commentary regarding a very touchy problem. Thank you for taking on this difficult topic. Pete

You wont get loyalty from anyone. Everyone else will start claiming their kids are sick too to only work 10 hrs a week get benefits and go do door dash when they should be working for you

I don’t agree with Dave on a ton of things BUT I must say he is spot on here.

My supervisor is like this lady. Always coming in late, leaving early, calling off, not showing up at all. He uses his kid as a get out of work free card, and it makes the rest of us pissy because we have to do extra because he is not there. He needs to find out if his employee is like my boss. Is it genuine illness or the woman is using the kid as an excuse to not go to work, or just plain lying.

I was working for a big box store. A fellow employee got a call her child was in the emergency room. She was told if she left not to come back. She chose her child. I very I’ll at work one day and I rarely called in. I ask to leave early and the supervisor started screaming at me in fron of a lot of customers. I told her I would stick it out and she realized she had an audience and screamed at me to leave. I can’t believe I stuck it out for years. Finally left after they embarrassed me for the last time in front of customers .

Treat everyone equally. No favoritism or unlawful discrimination. Don't let your feelings take you away from that.

I worked for a plant supervisor who said; "We're running a business, not a charity." I believe in that wholeheartedly. You can get involved, and have empathy, but at some point you have to separate people when you have to. Also, as was stated, a value of an employee is relative. I also believe in a principal I was taught in a management training program that told us straight out; "There are no bad employees. If you have a bad employee it is YOUR fault as a manager. You have failed to train them properly, motivate them properly, or failed to help them find gainful employment at another employer."

I honestly like daves answers

Dave. You just made Me cry.

Chad! My son went to a great daycare so good day care or dirty daycare it’s all the same probably. My son’s first two years were brutal, sick for two weeks, healthy for one, that’s what it felt like. I used all 4 weeks of my vacation his first year at day care just for him being sick. Year two wasn’t as bad and after that the immune system is strong and it’s far and few In between. I really like what Dave said, be extra graceful vs not. Best of luck!

Thanks Dave ❤

Alot of people in these comments have never been a manager or leader

This is the best 🎉 Ramsey video I have heard. So kind. Maybe if she needs daycare she could get her into a small daycare where the germs are less.

I have been a back babysitter for many years for the babysitters that canceled. I dropped my plans to run to the aide of a working mom. It’s not easy.

Another thing you consider is getting the employee on FMLA. See if the child has a condition that would be qualifying under FMLA. And they can use that intermittently up to 12 weeks. Hour for hour. If the state has any paid leave resources, that would be something that would be worth considering as well so that they can get paid. I would also look at possibly getting a consult within immunologist possibly to see if there’s something else that’s going on.

My son just started school. Week 2 of school we all got sick week 4 hit with a 2nd round. Didn't loose work but i was slower. All October we've been sick again either covid or rsv. I had to drop some shifts due to exhaustion. Coughing to the point of puking. I work 3 farm jobs shift work late nights early mornings. All 3 bosses dont want me to quit. But 1 employer is down 2 full workers and then I got sick now the animals will be affected. My boss said today you could of called in sick, I said your shift is the easiest, I gotta pay my bills. But yeah I'm worried if this is how school is I dont know if I can keep working full time. The lawn hasn't been mowed in 3 months. I tried doing a bit of yard work and came in the house puking.

Great advice…❤

Yeah, be sure to help your other employees when they need you. Had a boss give special treatment to other pregnant ladies in my department. I got pregnant too. ALL I asked for was just a slight change in my schedule (remove me from Saturday’s - the busiest day - until I got the medicine for my Hyperemesis Gravidarum). No. The other ladies got to work from home. I got to pass out in the bathroom from throwing up water and stomach acid every day. At least I got paid massive overtime because I was doing so on the clock….

How can you have grace for one person while ignoring all your other employees? No, the other employees you are putting the work on will not feel that way. In an ideal world, yes, but in reality, no way. You can’t just help the same person over and over and over and expect everyone else to suck it up.

"You don't shoot your wounded." Good way of putting !

As a boss, I would explore other options on how the employee can do their work. Also, to Dave: all daycares are germ factories. Perhaps the child has immune system issues or has some other condition that the boss is unaware of. Time to ask.

Mom needs to find some more dependable back up childcare for when the child is sick. I love Dave’s attitude about extending grace. But the reality is she is not doing the job she was hired to do and her coworkers are picking up the slack. Sadly there are people out there that will always have an excuse and will take advantage.

These are really tough situations. The other employees are going to start to question on some level whether or not these are all true occurrences or whether shes milking an excuse days off. Even if she's not - that's what they're going to think. And they're going to get resentful that shes not able to do the job she was hired to do and they had to pick up the slack. Got to be careful how you handle this one as a boss. And I certainly think you can find the middle ground where you extend grace and help, but also address the concerns that at some point, you Have to find a way to be at work consistently if you're going to be a full-time employee and if you can't do that you need to be a hard time employee. Regardless of your situation, if your situation is such that it is impossible for you to maintain full-time hours, thats an issue if youvr taken a full time position

Depends on the situation. There are so many moving parts. 1. Women are often the default care giver for kids. 2. There has to be balance for you and her. It's hard and I get it. 3. There are a lot of scheming people out there. I had a female who worked for me. I was empathetic to her issues and accommodated her a few times UNTIL she had told me she had 2 kids, then it was 3 then back to 2. She was scheming. I also had the female who had 1 kid who was sick from RSV and pneumonia, in the hospital for 3 months. She never complained, did her work, we adjusted her hours so she could work from home/hospital, keeping good notes on her work hours.

A schedule change or giving her non-urgent issues that can be done during flex time.

My dad founded a business that became a world leader in its field and did it debt free. As I was growing up, if I felt the least bit sick, I wanted to stay home from school. One day my dad basically told a much younger me (less than 10 years old) that "Life doesn't work that way". From that day forward, I rarely missed school, or later in life missed work due to illness. In fact, I went over 10 years without a sick day at work. Our business had sick leave buyback, so that meant an extra week of vacation or pay each year which was very motivating. Sometimes it's just the mindset that needs changed.

I live in Virginia, which isn't far from where the caller is from. My son and our family have been sick nonstop for almost 12 weeks. He's in daycare and my husband and I work in healthcare. It's never been this bad. Everyone and their kids are getting sick lately.

I’ve experienced this as an employee covering for others.

All I've seen is managers pawning off all that extra work off on the people who still show up.

Little kids are frequently ill. My pediatrician said 8-10 colds a year lasting up to two weeks. The number of days was staggering. They switch schools and new germ pit. I thought daycare was building immunity and kindergarten would be different. Nope, doctor just laughed. Probiotics, healthy food, and rest. As a parent, it is very stressful to have to call out. You have back up care when you can but there are days the kid wakes up with a fever/cold/stomach bug and then it runs through the house sequentially; everyone doesn't get it at the same times. Now, there are all the rebound illnesses after being home more with COVD for 2 years. RSV, strep, stomach bug.

Dave does your strategy work with grown children who won't adult? 60 or 90 day warming?

Does she qualify for leave of absence ? This doesn’t necessarily mean she’s being paid for all of her time off it’s just job protection. A lot of schools/daycare won’t allow a child to stay with even the smallest of symptoms. It’s hard to balance coming to work when someone can’t find a place to send their kid.

Two additional answers might be helpful: 1) is there a Daddy who should be taking care of the baby 1/2 of the days it is sick? 2) Is her work something that could be done from home on days the little one is sick, if it's not a serious illness?

I treat my relationships with my bosses very professional. I don't ask them for help with anything outside of work and I definitely do not talk to them about my private life. I was raised to not use illness, handicap, or anything else as a crutch. After all, most employers won't hire a pregnant woman, a handicap person, or even ugly people. He needs to ask his employee what's going on in her life... in a way that make her feel supported and safe to be open. My guess is that her child has an undiagnosed chronic illness. So many people are feeding their kids junk, exposing them to environmental hazards, and don't know why their kids are sick or obese. He's right. It's not normal... which means she needs to take a deep dive and research things on her own until she can find an fmd or naturopath to help her child. Conventional doctors are great at broken arms, anaphylaxis, or emergency life saving care, but they aren't great at chronic illness.

One other thing is, while not asking people to reveal their private info with medical family issues is ideal, if there is something like that going on then other staff being aware of it can prevent resentment. If people are always off with little explanation and it puts stress on the co-workers workload, they will soon start to resent what looks like favoritism, because if everyone did that, the company wouldnt function, so why is one person always getting away with absenteeism to the detriment of the other co-workers. My point is, it would help her case if she were able to offer her employer enough information to understand the need to be absent.

Sometimes when I was sick or off from school my mom would bring me to her office. I was a well behaved child so I didn't cauce too many disruptions. Her boss was okay with it. She still works for him.

What sucks is when you work full time, you don’t have the opportunity to take care of anything that needs to be done outside of work, like taking your kid to the Dr. or what not.

I am always thee most productive employee. I don't have kids & rarely get sick. Gimme the money!

It is a case by case basis.

Entirely different situation if you own or have a large piece of ownership vs. being a manager and yourself an employee. That isn't clear here. Plus this is a real quicksand issue of leadership or management and too many incorrectly choose the former.

My state recently passed a law forcing companies to give 20 WEEKS of paid family care leave per year. I expect the number of deadbeats gone for nearly half the year to increase exponentially where I work starting in 2026 when the law goes into effect. Guess who gets to pick up the slack? People like me who show up to work. Oh, and we get to pay a payroll tax on top of it to fund the deadbeats!

dance, baby, dance 🎉

Offer her part time or casual work. She clearly can’t commit to full time. Also, my child was really I’ll with respiratory infections & my boss was very gracious. I had tonnes of sick days, it actually upset me but I couldn’t help it. My daughter is bigger and I’m still there five years later. And now doing full time. I only stay because the company treated me well and understood my circumstances.

Ask and find the details. Maybe they can flex their hours and still produce the same hours of work.

Little kids get sick SO MUCH. Especially when they are little. Luckily I work only 8 hours a week and my husband has the option to work from home sometimes. And people without kids do not understand how much they get sick. Could this mom work 4 days a week instead? For less pay? And could you hire an intern or something to cover the difference? Working full time with kids is just hard. But also if someone taking their sick days is all it takes to stress the whole team, you may need a part time person who covers vacations and sick days.

Dave you’re an awesome boss but the world is not like you. The scenario you just told us is very unusual. NO BUSINESS is going to pay someone if they aren’t working.

Great politician answer. What if you have 3 employees like that, then is it ok to let them go? You start letting one employee of the hook for work and guarantee more are sure to follow her lead.

Employers truly need to work on extending grace to their employees, it creates loyal employees who like their job. People who like their jobs are more productive. I worked for a fortune 100 insurance company, my father had a stroke, was in ICU and died. I got a written warning for calling into work while he was brain dead and in the ICU while my family and I were trying to decide what to do with his organs and when to "pull the plug". After that experience I started looking for a new job, they begged me to stay. I refused. Quitting that job was one of the best decisions I ever made. I also have a special needs child, in this community (parents of special needs kids) it's sad and disheartening how many parents lose their jobs because they have children who are special needs and need off time to take them to doctor appts, therapies, etc.

7:05 this is as far as i got, but had to interject that i think Dave missed a key factor in the situation and that is that it’s not just the kid that is sick, but sometimes the caretaker is sick. That sounds to me that she’s one of those who always has an excuse. And the fact that this guy called Dave means he suspects she’s taking advantage. He also knows that his other employees are tired of it too. I understand the treat people like you want to be treated, but that goes both ways - meaning don’t take advantage of people’s generosity. If he’s uncomfortable to find out more (whether she’s using the kid as an excuse), then that’s a problem. And then this employer is paying FT benefits for someone who is not holding up their end of the deal. From what I’ve heard so far, she’s taking advantage. Bc otherwise, the employer would know if her excuses are legit. The employer would have a full understanding of what is going on with her.

It’s not fair to the other employees. It wears them out, causes resentment, and damages morale. Maybe she should be made part-time, because that’s what she’s doing.

The caller is not quantifying this at all, his perception is that the situation is exceptional but that doesn't mean that it is. He's not saying, "she's out three times every month on average", he's saying things like "she's out countless days" or "sometimes she doesn't even reach the threshold for full time" (which could mean she's out four hours in a week). He may need to have more employees for the work and if he doesn't have the margins to have workers out a reasonable number of days he will be inclined to blame the worker and subconsciously encourage the other overworked workers to blame her, also.

Not an employer but I teach college. Maybe this employee's child really was sick. But I've seen adults use their children as an alibi all the time. Employers have a right to ask for documented evidence of an illness.

I was moved until he said "months"...... If your company can afford it - YOU HELP!

One solution could be to split her full time job into 2 part time jobs and hire someone to share the workload. Another option is to let her have the flexibility to do the job from home, if applicable, and then she can stay home so as to not spread the kid's germs to the office either.

If your kid is sick on pay day and dont have her check ready she wont give a sht about your sick kid and will be banging on your door with cops demanding her pay

People should be paid according to their contributions. If the woman is hourly, then the hourly wage saved by not paying her should be split between those who pick up her slack. If she is salaried, she should be told that her salary will be reduced, or she will become an hourly employee. The employer can then hire a part time worker to pick up her slack or give the other employees raises. The fact that she isn’t even working enough to qualify for company benefits she is receiving means she is out a lot!

I also believe you have to be creative with workers. Maybe this woman is able to do her job from home? Perhaps she can work an alternative schedule and still be productive.

No one mention that there’s a possibility of her saying her kid is sick and they arnt

For all those who lacked empathy...extending grace is free and kind and if you want to live to an old age life will happen to you.

Commenting about 7:19. Yes and those employers still want to think this is the Great Depression and think they are Gods and employees should bow down and worship them

Single man here who shows up ready everyday, I dont get any slack because like the owner said, he has kids so is biased towards unfairness in that I have to work while others dont while they keep their job where Id be canned because I dont have the kid card.

The mother's home might have mold, which would affect the child's health.

I have mortgage renewal in 3 months quitting a job isn't an option.

Good old days I was taught to take on bad jobs and get recognition. At the end of day, I find that merit or profits means nothing. You just need to fit in that type of box (aka: nationality, sex and age) to get promoted. If you need to work alot in a unusual way, quit! If my ex bosses had to answer that question: "'Restructure" (aka: layoff).

Toddlers DO get sick all the time. A parent or grandparent should be home with them. Daycare is the problem

There are likely thousands of others more qualified how can be there when you need them. Why waste time worrying about a single individual?

He needs to hire older people. We are reliable.

Can't she work from home?

I agree. Treat people how you want to be treated. Maybe the child has something that hasn’t been diagnosed? Maybe she’s using random relatives for daycare to make ends meet? Maybe she’s overwhelmed and could use a caring soundboard?