Right! I just found him on a podcast recently and I've been listening to everything he's done. A real talent

Condolences Larry… My heart aches for you, I can only imagine what you are going through. I know there are times you need to talk about your feelings, good, bad, ugly. But also, there are times when you just cannot talk. No one should ever say, “I know how you feel. Or, time heals all wounds. Because it doesn’t really. We just become more accustomed to living w/the pain. But, our hearts never fully heal from such a loss. I haven’t lost a Spouse or a child and I honestly don’t know that I could be strong enough to be of support to my children, or anyone else through that kind of enormous loss. But, I lost my Dad unexpectedly when I was 21. And, I always knew from that moment on how precious each moment can & should be. That was over 30 yrs ago then the most crushing blow thus far from losing my saintly Mom, just over 20 yrs ago now. The funerals, the well intentioned words of support at the time were a blur. At the time, I felt lost, adrift in an ocean of sadness, w/o a compass, nor an identity or the comfort & familiarity of always being introduced as, “This is Lillian’s girl”. I felt I had never had an identity that mattered so much to me other than Mommy when I lost Mom. My 6 & 3 yrs olds bless them, endured a Zombie for a Mom for a long while. Because I was just a child myself really when I lost my father, it pulled the rug from beneath Mom, my elder brother & myself for at least 3 yrs. Something that I try to remember to remind people who I know are hurting deeply in a way that only they and whom they lost can or could truly know, understand, don’t ever let anyone tell you that you need to move on, get on w/your life, you’ve been grieving long enough. We all know we have a right to be broken in pieces, suffering our own private pain from a giant hole where our heart once resided. But people sometimes start feeling awkward about communicating, not knowing if it helps or hurts. So, they tend to urge someone in mourning to get on through & out the other side. But, that’s usually more for their comfort level not the one who needs to feel their feelings for as long as they need to feel them, no matter how long that might be. No one ever has the right to rush that kind of “grieving process” on anyone else. Each of us has a right to own and feel our feelings. & there’s no stop watch or law that could ever dictate otherwise. I think about, and share things w/passed loved ones regularly. And interestingly, being a Bank Teller, my Mom’s favorite # was 4. And, it’s not an unconscious training of myself to check the time twice every 24 hrs, especially w/3 demanding children, a needy husband, and a virtual mini farm of rescued pets, who actually have helped me immensely through every kind life altering events, I’m just not consciously checking the time every afternoon or in the wee hrs of the night before sunrise. But, because it happens so often over the yrs, I screenshot it when my phone reads 4:44. And often it happens just when I am truly in need of a reminder that I am not alone, I am supported, & loved. And in return, when I am sent the little 4:44’s, I stop talking, stop whatever I am doing, for at least a minute, often a bit longer to reflect upon happy moments, memories that celebrate the best in those I’ve lost. And, I try to remember each person who was special and close to me, and often say words of gratitude either silently or when I am alone, out loud sometimes. I know it probably sounds silly, maybe ridiculous to some people. But, what they think about it doesn’t bother me. Because I have a genuine sense that it is a reciprocal benefit both for me, and a sincere reminder for those beloved people that they are not forgotten. But, I actually hold mini moments of silence in their honor and memory. Some people think me crazy for rambling on about such especially online. But, I feel like I would have really benefited & now do sincerely appreciate having words of support, understanding, empathy, offered to me, especially when I am dealing w/something recent. Actually my Stepfather died 45 days before my Mother, so there was no recovery time before losing Mom, & then my Husband’s employer had the poor taste to lay him off the day we were making her funeral arrangements. The proverbial bad things happen in 3’s in that experience. But, the 4:44’s are different, much like dreams that you can tell aren’t just subconscious memories but actual messages. Those are very rare gifts that I cherish. I dreamed she & I were at my Uncle’s house at dusk, he her only brother & closest sibling out of 9. Headlights turned into his long driveway covered with/spanish moss covered trees, she looked at the headlights, then me. And I thought in the dream, oh no, someone is coming so you will go away. She just lovingly looked back at me, & smiled w/an understanding expression. Then I woke up, at 1st remembering it because it was so vivid, w/so many extreme details, from the dust in the 1 beam of light from the overhead in the kitchen coming into the darkening living room where we were sitting by the window. I remembered she looked as she did when she was younger, healthier, wearing striped shorts she wore when I was very young. I could even smell her skin, in the dream. And, if it wasn’t me that dreamed it, I’m not sure I would have believed it either. But w/young kids to tend to during the day, I had not remembered it during the busier part of the day. And then around 7pm, dusk, the phone rang, my Husband answered, my Brother told him that my Uncle had passed away in the night. I have never had a premonition type of dream before or since of any sort. But, when he told me, that vivid dream hit me like a tidal wave, I couldn’t speak & hadnt yet told anyone so was sure no one would believe me, but as it sunk in I didn’t care if no one believed me. They all assumed & I was in shock because my Uncle had died. But, it was ALSO that I realized I think my Mom was letting me know she was there to greet him, not to worry or be horribly sad. I had been missing her so, numb w/grief over the year before he passed too. I shared this w/a couple of her sisters, not sure if any truly believed me especially when I knew it would be shared to all of them, discussed, Southern Sisters etc. But a couple did tell me later that they really appreciated that I was brave enough to share it w/them. That it provided them w/some extra unexpected comfort, & it really wasn’t any conflict w/Christian Faith. I apologize for oversharing w/you especially if you feel overwhelmed by too much info too fast just now. But, I wasn’t sure if anyone had yet had reached out to you in support. And, because I have lost more than many people we know, just in case it could possibly help, I wanted to offer condolences and that while I am not in your shoes and can only imagine your pain, sorrow losing your wife, I just hoped it might help you to know I am & will be praying for you for strength, support, and the comfort in knowing that she is never too far away from you. It’s not as much comfort as having her here, healthy, by your side, communicating w/you in the manner we all normally do, of course. But, she will be close while you are hurting, and in time I believe & pray that you will notice little things that could be small symbols only for you so you can know, believe, trust she will never be too far from you. That’s really impossible when this loved one was someone who makes up so much of who we are in this world. But for now, you have a right to feel your feelings as much, as often as you need to do so. Never believe otherwise… & in the meantime, I will be sending prayers for you as well, as I am sure others will be also. Remember to take care of yourself too please. That is what she would want for you. And in taking care of yourself, the person she loves, you will be honoring her. Blessings to you friend… Take your journey at your own pace, and feel however you need to feel… 🕊️

I am so sorry for your loss and a big hug to you .

Wow, i am so sorry you lost her but i am so glad that you had 35 years together. Thats a lot of memories and love. God bless you Larry and stay strong, you know she's up there watching.... and you two will be together again one day

...She's watching and you'll be together again....Enjoy your family for her....Time will bring YOU HOME, to be together for God's etenity... ❤

I pray for strength for you, she is above shining it down on you. I'm oceans away and can feel you pain, even shed a tear for you. Stay focused and strong my friend.

Thanks for the sub!

Wow that's lovely 💝 Which of the albums has your favorite song?

Thank you Debbie 💝 Have you been to any of my concerts before?