Everything Wrong With The Dark Tower In 17 Minutes Or Less

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6 жыл бұрын

Despite casting two compelling lead actors, The Dark Tower movie still manages to totally underwhelm. Sins abound.
Next week: Crappy animated sins & crappy animated sins... both recent.
Remember, no movie is without sin! Which movie's sins should we expose next?!
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Пікірлер: 4 100

@timothysatyr6674 5 жыл бұрын

Lord of the Rings: 3 Books into Three movies. Hobbit one book into 3 movies. Dark Tower: "Hold my Beer"

@nickietee4170 5 жыл бұрын

My favorite comment. Seriously... I did actually kinda love what they MANAGED to do with TLOTR (extended), but the Hobbit 3 movie thing drove me nuts! Tried to make it all dark...again not respecting the source material. They failed to note that LOTR was written years later to appeal to the same generation that had originally read the Hobbit. It aged with them. Wasn't all extra dark and full of Legolas!

@thepickygamer4450 4 жыл бұрын

Foreign films are still good. I recommend Operation Cromite, and pretty much any Korean film/TV show. And A Flying Jatt, cheesy but pretty good.

@Lucas-zy9zn 4 жыл бұрын

lol

@ppvk2610 3 жыл бұрын

Exactly Like LOTR starting in the Shire, straight to the Argonath (without Pippin, Merin, Boromir, perhaps even only Frodo and Aragorn) thus skipping Rivendell, the Mines of Moria... on to Minas Tirith etc.. Damn... no three doors... , no Jake No Baine.. wtf... It was like at school... where you have to read books...., then you don't read it, you just search the book excerpts on the internet. Read it a few times the day before your test, then tell your teacher what you have managed to remember. That's how they wrote the script for The Dark Tower

@drsmithlpn92 2 жыл бұрын

@@thepickygamer4450 Korean film: Train To Busan. I thought done really well. Definitely a Hollywood level effort.

@braveintofuture 6 жыл бұрын

Howto make a novel adaptation movie: -Get all the books. -Leaf through the books to get the names of some characters and locations. -Ignore the books. This is now your story! -Make up a story you like and include the characters and locations. -Add some references to movies you enjoyed which have nothing to do with the novels just because it's cool. -Find some actors to play the characters. The books are not general knowledge? Then use some well known actors so the general audience can get connected to the movie. -Now hire the original author to be included in production to please the fans. -Don't let him screw up your story. Remember: This is your story!

@SomeBody-mc1km 6 жыл бұрын

3Hification Steven Spielberg saw this comment and made Ready Player One

@cartoonnetworkdisneyxdsupe6864 6 жыл бұрын

Super Critic Difference is, Ready Player One was actually good.

@arvinroidoatienza7082 5 жыл бұрын

Exactly what they did to Percy Jackson

@sparkledog9066 5 жыл бұрын

I think they only added It references to get people's attention. Other than that, they could've at least hinted the similarities between It's speculated offspring, Dandelo.

@lunatic8267 5 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad I saw this!! I haven't seen the movie but watching this I'm sitting here going "Where the fuck did that happen in the book?!!" Lol

@pinealdreams1064 6 жыл бұрын

I waited years for this.... It was truly depressing.

@4inaftermath454 4 жыл бұрын

I would have throw a mold cast of my penis at the theater screen

@addisonblck102 4 жыл бұрын

This movie effectively killed my love um for The cinema. It was absolutely terrible :(

@razerhead9489 4 жыл бұрын

@The dhgate 1:1 Replica reviews Yeah Hollywood killed it quite literally, and then again with the passage adaptation from justin cronin.

@haydenhazelrig4550 3 жыл бұрын

@The dhgate 1:1 Replica reviews yeah him being white was a huge point in the second book

@Molotov_Milkshake 3 жыл бұрын

@The dhgate 1:1 Replica reviews the gunslinger's skin colour is never relevant nor is it ever really referred to specifically. Walter is specifically described as being pale though.

@AndiNordsee 4 жыл бұрын

Wait, this is actually a movie about the dark tower books from Stephen King? I thought it was only a coincidence it has the same title and character names. You know, since it´s got nothing in common with the books?

@helterincendo3441 3 жыл бұрын

That is a beautiful illustration of the failure of this movie.

@Molotov_Milkshake 3 жыл бұрын

The film was originally made to be a followup / sequel to the book series. All the early promo material showed the Horn of Eld in Roland's possession. Even one of the posters showed the horn lying in the dirt. For some reason they cut the horn references out, and now everyone thinks this film is an adaptation of the books when it is absolutely NOT.

@mrdean2539 3 жыл бұрын

@@Molotov_Milkshake Even if that were true, the idea behind the small difference from the last book from the first would not cause such a HUGE deviation from the original track. It was more about the Gunslinger becoming a better person and making better decisions during the journey. The journey itself would only change minimally over each successive run through.

@jamesb7205 3 жыл бұрын

It fairly similar to one of the books. That's the only one I've read. I'm guessing they made they book to sort of be a tie in with the movie and summarise and shorten the story

@Molotov_Milkshake 3 жыл бұрын

@@jamesb7205 which book was that? It doesn't resemble any of the ones I read, and I read the whole series.

@Moolers 6 жыл бұрын

The Dark Tower should have gotten the same treatment as Game of Thrones. You can't make a 90 minute movie out of an epic and complicated series spanning thousands of pages.

@espalorp3286 6 жыл бұрын

I was literally just thinking that as I was scrolling over this comment, but we can't have nice things sometimes

@joshuahoover6841 6 жыл бұрын

It needed to be animated

@cpt.shmitt7387 6 жыл бұрын

Like the Tripods series.

@carolinefloyd3298 6 жыл бұрын

If it makes you feel better, I heard it is becoming a tv series, unless it's been cancelled

@cpt.shmitt7387 6 жыл бұрын

Caroline Floyd Just being funny. It wasn't bad, but not exactly the War and Peace of literature.

@Waltham1892 6 жыл бұрын

He who does not sin The Dark Tower has forgotten his father's face.

@BlackGoldSaya 6 жыл бұрын

Thankee sai

@splatttt 6 жыл бұрын

Waltham1892 It is so. Long days and pleasant nights to you, gunslinger.

@Chaos89P 6 жыл бұрын

I think the director has.

@0Fate8Bound0 6 жыл бұрын

More like, 'I do not sin with my heart; He who sins with his heart has forgotten the face of his father. I sin with my head' *Sins overrated movie*

@SavageDawgJoshua 6 жыл бұрын

*"Forgotten the face of his father".

@Mcf4742 6 жыл бұрын

This series would’ve fit more as an HBO series, Westworld mixed with Game of Thrones or something

@ryantafoya487 6 жыл бұрын

In this movie: RIP Susannah Dean of New York RIP Eddie Dean of New York RIP Oy of Mid-World RIP Donald Callahan So many characters thrown out the window...

@CarnageQc_XV 4 жыл бұрын

Such a disapointemment

@yig_501 4 жыл бұрын

Poor oy little babes lol

@Thunder117 4 жыл бұрын

@The dhgate 1:1 Replica reviews well to be fair eddie is in his early 20's and as much as i would like aaron being eddie it just wouldnt have fit it very well tbh

@BerNa650 4 жыл бұрын

Honestly, good for them. They didn't have their awesome identities tainted by this god forsaken excuse of a movie. Truly disappointing it went this way, though.

@razerhead9489 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, they took a more or less character driven story and made a Hollywood action trash something out of it.

@shelbyhill7873 6 жыл бұрын

I just want one psychic kid who is really shitty at drawing

@WTDProductions 6 жыл бұрын

hahaha i’m imagining a bunch of stick figures plastered on the walls goddamn that would be hilarious

@jareththegoblinking3191 6 жыл бұрын

Well if we've never seen any other psychic kids in movies draw then that means they could be bad

@empressliz9023 6 жыл бұрын

The movie Push has one of those. Not “can only make stick figures” bad but not “Leonardo Da Vinci” good either. It was kinda funny.

@ingloriousMachina 6 жыл бұрын

I want a movie where they don't insert a fucking kid just because...

@MrMikeauto0722 6 жыл бұрын

Will Byers from "Stranger Things" drawing that map was pretty awful.

@gobluth8351 6 жыл бұрын

1:26 wait a sec. That bully is Henry Bowers from IT. What are the chances he is playing 2 bullies from 2 King adaptations.

@monty5257 6 жыл бұрын

Gobluth I noticed that too

@cannypal 6 жыл бұрын

Multiverse!

@TheTwilightShadow69 6 жыл бұрын

I know nothing about Stephen King's work so I was very surprised to hear that most of his books are related in some weird multiverse thing. I found out when someone tried explaining who/what IT is, and I'm flabbergasted that SOMEHOW The Dark Tower has ANY correlation to It whatsoever. They're like two completely different worlds... Pun unintended. That being said... I recognized the actor, but didn't connect the dots they're both of King's movies. Pretty interesting, surprised they would allow that to happen. Let the conspiracy theories begin!!

@maxrealname 6 жыл бұрын

Thing is, its not conspiracy, King has been clear for years all of his books take place in the same conjoined universe, and for the most part the Dark Tower is what binds them, thats why many of his stories take place in Maine, and have psychic children, Maine is a soft spot for dark/demonic energies, and the psychic power is the Shine, which children are better at utilizing. IT is supposedly the Great Spider who was opposite Maturin, the Turtle who holds up the world, Maturin also aids the losers club in defeating IT in the book, characters in the Shining stem from other books, Carry and the Firestarter have the Shine in its more telekinetic/pyrokinetic forms, etc. Its fascinating if you're a fan of Kings work.

@koji6745 6 жыл бұрын

Doe JrPuck woah

@AquariumPebbles 5 жыл бұрын

This movie sucked. In the book, everyone had a purpose and everything was well thought out, meanwhile in order to boost time, the movie had three different shots of roland sitting down on a log.

@thepickygamer4450 4 жыл бұрын

Those were my favorite parts!

@publiccomment2053 5 жыл бұрын

The Dark Tower series is one of my all-time favorites. I was soooooo excited to hear about this movie in production, but confused how they might do it justice considering the length of the story. At first, I held out hope because I saw Peter Jackson create a movie experience for Tolkien's tome with such reverence. Then Dark Tower came out and what a friggin disappointment it is. I'm guessing King must have needed money to even allow this piece of crap be compared to his early masterpiece. Jeez - the whole movie is a sin.

@razerhead9489 4 жыл бұрын

That's what I thought too, same with Justin Cronin's The Passage. In both projects, they just did what they wanted and ignored the source material.

@brianwestfall8140 3 жыл бұрын

Fun fact, King has sold the rights to Dark Tower multiple times each time for $1. And yes this movie was wrong on many levels.

@stevenmacaulay8807 2 жыл бұрын

I gave up on being hopeful for a book series being adapted well after interview with a vampire and the queen of the damned had their shot...

@tonythekillab8189 2 жыл бұрын

@@brianwestfall8140 The fact that this man sold what he considers to be his magnum opus like a cheap whore shows what kind of person is. Sai King has clearly forgotten the face of his father. On an unrelated note, he has the check the director of The Shawshank Redemption wrote him for the rights to the story framed on his wall because he's made so much more money from the royalties on the movie than the check is worth.

@JerroGangBang 2 жыл бұрын

@@stevenmacaulay8807 Lord of the rings

@aileenocasio9125 6 жыл бұрын

I thought that I made a mistake reading the book before watching the movie...now I see Hollywood made the mistake of making the movie without reading the books.

@angelrivera-cw9be 5 жыл бұрын

Books!

@MizantropMan 5 жыл бұрын

I didn't even know the book series exists before this movie came to Netflix, but it made the whole thing look like another mediocre fantasy-with-guns brick by a young adult. So, in short, it's bad advertisement.

@PotawatomiThunderNew 4 жыл бұрын

MizantropMan so are you saying you watched this on Netflix, then realized it’s a book series, then you read the series?

@thepickygamer4450 4 жыл бұрын

I didn't know about the book series, I'm not much for reading. One chapter in and I'm already understanding the pain of those in this comment section.

@leeman27534 3 жыл бұрын

tbh so much is used from books that are largely ignored in hollywood, it's ridiculous. to a degree, i get why it happens - movies need to be rather to the point as you can meander on when it's a book, just have it be a thousand pages. but it's fucking blatant, how much they cut out because 'fuck it, this is my project'.

@JustCallMeKopi 6 жыл бұрын

"Yes, let the hate flow through you" Just imagining Matthew McConaughey trying to replicate that voice in that scene with that quote is hilarious

@doomstadt2371 5 жыл бұрын

It should have been a TV show from the start. Not a rushed, horseshit movie.

@BostonMBrand 3 жыл бұрын

The worst part is that this movie’s box office bombing will probably screw the series for the next few years. I mean it’s pretty much the reason why Amazon ditched the pretty decent looking tv adaptation.

@drsmithlpn92 2 жыл бұрын

HBO should produce The Dark Tower into a series. There’s enough material for at least a decade or two.

@dechain1927 7 ай бұрын

@@BostonMBrand in case you havent heard, mike flanagan has confirmed a dark tower series thats supposedly set to be faithful to the books. probably still in preproduction, so a long way off before it could ever be released but theres hope!

@jakob716 6 жыл бұрын

If I was making The Dark Tower movie, I would adapt The Gunslinger, would start with showing how The Man in Black runs across the desert and then Roland following him, being exhausted with time, but no, why do that, you can just hire someone to speak it...

@boydskywalker 5 жыл бұрын

I think that's the thing that gets me most about this movie - The Gunslinger, AS IS, would make an incredible Western movie, with lots of hints at what's to come without spewing exposition for 95 minutes. Instead we got this. Like, they wanted this to be a series, right? And yet, somehow, they managed to shove in isolated scenes and plots from 7 books and resolve them all in a way that leaves little reason for a sequel. They could've had a 7+ movie series on their hands, with the tiniest bit of forethought...

@mattwolfe9365 4 жыл бұрын

Yes, also I would change how this is jakes story while the whole book is about the gunslinger

@matthewg666 4 жыл бұрын

Myself, I was thinking I'd start it out with Roland coming into the town of Tull. In the book, it's a bit of a flashback story that occurs not long before the start of the book. It'd make a good jumping off point to use as some exposition establishing who Roland is and the fact that he's after the man in black.

@MrYeezy77 6 жыл бұрын

*EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THE DARK TOWER ~~plays the whole movie~~*

@franohmsford7548 6 жыл бұрын

I think this video is longer than the actual movie!

@BreakerInc 6 жыл бұрын

Well.. when it's true..

@airborngaming2250 6 жыл бұрын

Yeezy Yeezy pin this man!

@bloodpressurenotgood 6 жыл бұрын

hahahahahaha

@SaltySalman 6 жыл бұрын

You just jestered to all of me

@kilonova3317 6 жыл бұрын

The architect who made the tower must be the same one who made the deathstar lol

@lorken22 6 жыл бұрын

That's what I was going to say! lol already had some Star Wars jokes in there, why not more?

@dawgbone98 6 жыл бұрын

The head architect of the death star is getting really ticked off that you guys are blaming everything on him... kzfaq.info/get/bejne/l82Thdp4qbHZnKs.html

@mk6rfc1 6 жыл бұрын

Mads Mikkelsen?

@Paulafan5 6 жыл бұрын

"Nothing can bring down the one thing stopping evil from ruling the galaxy... Except a kid's mind" Is that crap from the books? I assume it's not because it's such a stupid concept. A book series that is so beloved can't hinge on a stupid notion like that... can it?

@JMUDoc 5 жыл бұрын

Shat on a two-decade magnum opus. Doesn't appeal to book fans, doesn't appeal to non-book fans. Well done.

@magicmulder 4 жыл бұрын

8:05 I wish just once a movie would devote time to telling us what the villain plans to do with his overlordship once he has won. Even Lucifer in Supernatural basically twiddled his thumbs after he got control of heaven. Because eventually they all realize it’s pretty boring if there is nothing to fight for anymore.

@CaoSong 6 жыл бұрын

Failure of a movie... very depressing cause I wanted a Dark Tower movie for so long.

@smokeykiwi8992 2 жыл бұрын

I swear people need to make another dark tower and another shining. WHOS WITH ME!!!!!

@cmm07r 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you, I'm so glad someone else has a problem with the shot at the end. Not only was it unbelievable that a second shot could catch up to the first, but a ricochet is slower that one that only had to travel through air.

@JLHunter61 6 жыл бұрын

“I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye. I do not shoot with my hand; he who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I shoot with my mind. I do not kill with my gun; he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father. I kill with my heart.” The actual quote, straight from the book.

@shr1mpsush1 3 жыл бұрын

When a single quote from the books sounds more epic than the entirety of the movie adaptation.

@kyiesalerno8401 3 жыл бұрын

I read all the books, so I know the significance of the quote. BUT: I kill with my heart. *tears out heart and beats Flagg to death with it*

@smokeykiwi8992 2 жыл бұрын

@@kyiesalerno8401 Flagg

@kyiesalerno8401 2 жыл бұрын

@@smokeykiwi8992 Crap. My phone hates me. Thanks!

@armandowillem3694 4 жыл бұрын

Fun fact: The nameless kid at the high school who bullied Jake and steals his drawing folder also plays a bully Henry Bowers who terrorized the kids of the Losers Club in another recent Stephen King movie IT chapter 1. Just with a rock band t-shirt, switchblade and a mullet hair cut.

@lordtwiglet4068 3 жыл бұрын

I noticed that immediately, Nicholas Hamilton. He's a really good actor, Australian in real life.

@caitlinbrewer4843 3 ай бұрын

Multiverse

@coralineparmentierpianist 6 жыл бұрын

"I guess that portal was also aware of the movie's runtime" Jeremy is a dick to the plot XD

@KingOfMischiefs 6 жыл бұрын

Plot is a dick to the books!

@drakegonnan6030 6 жыл бұрын

you guys get all that... but you forget. he forgot the cujo referance

@wowza935 6 жыл бұрын

My dick is penetrative to vaginas n the occasional bunghole.

@jacobgutierrez7128 6 жыл бұрын

Coraline Parmentier - Pianist for Peace with a

@nahuelorona5886 6 жыл бұрын

Hey man, you should do a video with Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell no Tales that movie definitely needs sinning

@Nidhoggrr 6 жыл бұрын

This movie was one of the biggest "FUCK YOU"s to a fan base I have seen come to theaters since the movie Eragon (remember that shit show cause I still do). Not only did they not read the books, but they barely skimmed a Wikipedia page about this series and then said "eh fuck it lets make shit up as we go".

@Elkanderowicz 6 жыл бұрын

The only way to do it right is with 7-season, 13 one-hour episodes each epic series. There is no way to cram all the awesomeness of that story into a movie, since top attention span of nowadays cinema goers doesn't exceed 90 minutes.

@TheGoldenDunsparce 6 жыл бұрын

I think the biggest FUCK YOU to its fans is Dragon Ball Evolution...

@leebawls 6 жыл бұрын

Women and children aren't the only things being molested in Hollywood

@Sheepnobi 6 жыл бұрын

When I was in the cinema and we were forced to watch this movie we were the only people watching this movie

@raizumichin 6 жыл бұрын

Difference between this and Eragon is that The Dark Tower was good to begin with. Adapting a crap book usually leads to a crap film.

@BuiltByHand 4 жыл бұрын

"Go then. There are other worlds than these" I wonder if in an alternate unverse maybe one with Nozz-A-La cola they actually got this movie right and it's not a horrible mess like this one

@EnergyShifting 2 ай бұрын

They drive takiro spirits’ there too, I have the shirt 👕

@zanemchugh7745 6 жыл бұрын

Gotta agree with all of these sins except the "Keystone" one. That was part of the books and how they distinguished the real earth from any of the other worlds being held together by the Dark Tower.

@andrewwgold 6 жыл бұрын

You forgot "Idris Elba isn't in a better movie in this scene"

@MickHaggs 6 жыл бұрын

Idris Elba isn't Stringer Bell in this scene *ding*

@titusmccarthy 6 жыл бұрын

Oh my god... how could anyone actually like this dreck. You must have a sub-100 IQ.

@LadyOnikara 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah! I was okay with him being Roland, even though I was puzzled how he would interact with Detta Walker. Turns out that I didn't have to worry about that!

@EnergyShifting 2 ай бұрын

@@LadyOnikaranah Roland isn’t a basketball America ⛹🏿‍♂️

@MrVlogman101 6 жыл бұрын

Not sinned hard enough

@grandmaster9829 6 жыл бұрын

Daniel Gazizov I'd expected it to have 500.

@llllcod6mw2jjjj 6 жыл бұрын

Watch this--->kzfaq.info/get/bejne/e7J1dNZ41LaRZX0.html

@Deathvalley1980 6 жыл бұрын

Yeah i thought the movie deserved more sins

@samuelstensgaard4828 6 жыл бұрын

Hey! I’ve been posting the same thing, people will learn soon enough.

@llllcod6mw2jjjj 6 жыл бұрын

Vader Minion my link?

@CarnageQc_XV 4 жыл бұрын

This could i've been the tv series of the years ...

@anthonydavis311 6 жыл бұрын

I only read the gunslinger once and it was a while ago, but from what I remember, it was NOTHING LIKE THIS MOVIE... it's 100% different

@God-ch8lq 2 жыл бұрын

I found it yesterday in my grandmas attic, devoured it in like 5 hours nonstop Damn,one of the best books i have ever read

@quoth7330 6 жыл бұрын

The greatest waste of an IP ever. So many great stories, now never to be known to non readers. While they can make 9 Star Wars movies that are basically the same, they cant even make handful of movies on an entirely different theme.

@Tysakasa 6 жыл бұрын

Yea so far only Disney's Star Wars is the same crap different people. The original six can all stand on their own.

@LnPPersonified 6 жыл бұрын

I have never seen this movie, and I never will. It's an embarrassing travesty that this movie was made. They have truly forgotten the face of their fathers.

@EcchiBANZAII-desu 6 жыл бұрын

Finally someone who writes it properly. Been seeing too many "You have forgotten your fathers face" instead of "You have forgotten the face of your father"

@Nehal615 6 жыл бұрын

Ecchi-BANZAII!!! Though to be picky, it should be “the faces of their fathers” and not “the face of their fathers,” unless the people who made this film have different fathers who happen to share the same face like some kind of conjoined-face-twin dads.

@iamnovus21 6 жыл бұрын

Or, crazy thought, you watch the movie and form your own opinion...

@ShiningDarknes 6 жыл бұрын

No don't watch it if you have read the books at all. If you have not read the books it is an okay (like 6/10) movie (but you will be confused as it combined the most iconic parts of the 8 books all out of order and it shows)

@ldn0224 6 жыл бұрын

I would suggest to lighten up. The idea is the warrior character and while skeptical I found it did capture the idea. I've read the books many times.Yes not great or perfect but it captures the idea of what a gunslinger from what King thought, at least I think so. Shoot with your mind, kill with your heart. It captured the essence and thats really the point.

@pauljustin3532 6 жыл бұрын

Come on man, Randall Flagg needs portals to cross over to other worlds? THIS FILM IS BLASPHEMY!!!!

@kvltslime2261 3 жыл бұрын

The movie: ya know we'll leave out Eddie and sussanah since its the first dark tower. The movie: let's cram three books into it anyway

@cadillacdeville5828 6 жыл бұрын

You post this on the same day I'm going to see "Justice League"...now all I hear is the DAMN sin counter.

@TheMlerich30 6 жыл бұрын

Why would you willingly watch that inane movie.

@floydharper4653 6 жыл бұрын

I hear the sin counter any time I watch a movie these days

@dadeleemurphy85 6 жыл бұрын

lol oh that's harsh!

@cadillacdeville5828 6 жыл бұрын

Aron The Terminator Rotten Tomatoes gave it 50%

@khirayrichards1786 6 жыл бұрын

DC Comics *Ding*

@JulianFernandez 6 жыл бұрын

Everything Wrong With The Dark Tower. Everything. Done.

@gregoryeverson741 6 жыл бұрын

i read the books, this a book its so hard to make into a movie

@Vincent_Beers 6 жыл бұрын

The book was bad, the movie was worse (and barely even related to the book)

@warreng675 6 жыл бұрын

From start to finish

@alexandresobreiramartins9461 6 жыл бұрын

But they should at least have TRIED.

@alexandresobreiramartins9461 6 жыл бұрын

My problem with DT movie is not that it's not faithful to the book or books. It's that it's a bad bad bad movie, full of cliches and stupid plot devices. Even Idris Elba and Matthew MccoNaughey felt like they were either drunk, on drugs or sleeping during the whole movie.

@bintavi7034 6 жыл бұрын

3:50 I just gotta say I appreciate the To Kill A Mockingbird nod.

@shilodance1st 6 жыл бұрын

What a total travesty of King's magnus opus. I'd rather read the entire seven book series again than watch this sack of crap movie.

@jakebryant3445 6 жыл бұрын

Calling it. Next week are Sausage Party and The Emoji Movie

@chrisbrasel9049 6 жыл бұрын

Hope so as man the sin counter is going to blow up after sinning thought like the first act of it.

@previewreview2364 6 жыл бұрын

Jake Bryant Sausage Party wasn't bad at all.

@karentookthekids1032 6 жыл бұрын

Uh...It says next week, crappy animated sins and crappy animated sins, Titus.

@xavierhorn9825 6 жыл бұрын

+Jake Bryant What about Norm of the North?

@jbvader721 6 жыл бұрын

My guesses are "The Emoji Movie", "Cars 3" or "Despicable Me 3". Maybe "Sausage Party" but I doubt it. Either way, the Sin Counter has a chance to break.

@ChiValryWu92 6 жыл бұрын

Divergent Maze Potter Hahahahah

@Coco-vv8nf 6 жыл бұрын

its like they didnt even try follow the books

@206beastman 5 жыл бұрын

Lol now u know how the dbz movie felt!!!

@SoftwareNugget 4 жыл бұрын

Who cares?

@miguelortiz3836 3 жыл бұрын

@@SoftwareNugget The target audience it was made for? The Dark Tower wasn't really that mainstream to be widely known and attract normal movie goers so the main target audience were the fans of King's books which got disappointed because it is so different. So yeah, they care.

@Me-jx1mo 3 жыл бұрын

@@206beastman well sucks to be someone who likes both Edit: franchises, not the god awful movies

@Molotov_Milkshake 3 жыл бұрын

Probably worth noting it wasn't meant to be an adaptation. It was originally meant to be a follow-up to the ending of the series, where Roland has the Horn of Eld. They showed the horn quite a lot in the promo material early on. They later dropped it, I assume because they thought it would alienate those who aren't familiar with the books. Instead it alienated everyone familiar with the books and created the impression that this was now an adaptation rather than a follow-up/conclusion.

@CptKrnch 6 жыл бұрын

I finally watched this movie. There are seven 500 to 750 page books in The Dark Tower (roughly). This movie completely ignores EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE, excepting one haunted house, and some rat people. This movie invents its own SHIT. Roland's first interaction with Jake should be to befriend him, then drop Jake down a pit in a cave, killing Jake. He gets sick and loses several fingers to mutant lobsters. Then he befriends a drug addict and a legless amputee. There's a succubi, zombies, a angry choochoo train! Vampires, robots with lightsabers, The emerald city and the wizard of Oz, a dickhead robot, so much material! And this movie is essentially; very loosely based on a synopsis written by someone who's never read the series.

@redblue7241 5 жыл бұрын

@@briannafinney9074 Finally a logical argument hahaha

@lifewuzonceezr 5 жыл бұрын

I Just watched it so I could watch this, lol!

@bosstrading928 5 жыл бұрын

@Aric Thompson mine too, at first when I heard about the movie I was soooo excited, then heard about the cast and was like what????? I refuse to watch it.

@yvaliquette 5 жыл бұрын

Did-a-chick? Dum-a-chum?

@thepickygamer4450 4 жыл бұрын

I would be happy with just a movie about a succubi, shit, I could get behind it even being an anime.

@coralineparmentierpianist 6 жыл бұрын

"Not to be confused with Middle Earth, or Midgard" I'm sorry I can't XD

@kingketamine8960 6 жыл бұрын

Why do you end all of your comments with "XD" XD

@coralineparmentierpianist 6 жыл бұрын

Mellow Memestar I have no idea XD

@TamptheChamp2 5 жыл бұрын

Or the Dark World

@satanicjerome4015 6 жыл бұрын

I loved these books and am so fucking pissed off that this bullshit ended up in the theatre instead of a competent actual gunslinger adaptation.

@nighton3 6 жыл бұрын

It's Percy Jackson all over agian

@buddhamack1491 6 жыл бұрын

No one could ever make a film good enough to encompass the awesomness of the books. Such is the beauty of books and imagination. I'm yet to see a film that is as good as any book I have read.

@YerBoiDanul 6 жыл бұрын

LOTR is maybe the closest candidate. Peter Jackson did a remarkable job, and the all-star cast, paired with the unbelievable scenery, just makes it all feel so alive and real.

@ulogy 6 жыл бұрын

Elba could've been a great Roland if they'd broken this up into a trilogy or the sort. Also doesn't help they just totally neglected the foundation of the ka-tet...

@MrRjh63 6 жыл бұрын

Tbh even a mini series couldn't do the books justice. Maybe a Netflix style series could but given the track record of the televised mini series i wouldn't hold out hope for that either.

@Daiska_Plays 3 жыл бұрын

The very top of the "what could have been" category for movies. The top. It actually made me sad.

@simmyjester 6 жыл бұрын

"but it's a movie so I should really just relax" Is that a paraphrased MST3K reference?

@SatyamKnight 6 жыл бұрын

*_No movie is without Sin_* 👍

@Warden_Vtel 6 жыл бұрын

Satyam King (ding)

@Warden_Vtel 6 жыл бұрын

Chase Bundy Autocorrect. (Ding)

@friendlyelites 6 жыл бұрын

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)

@llllcod6mw2jjjj 6 жыл бұрын

Watch this--->kzfaq.info/get/bejne/e7J1dNZ41LaRZX0.html

@lucasrosencrantz8864 6 жыл бұрын

CinemaSins no thx

@SuperAtheist 6 жыл бұрын

If his shine is pure, his midichlorian level must be off the chart divergent. .

@garypacitti4053 6 жыл бұрын

SuperAtheist

@guicaldo7164 6 жыл бұрын

"You killed my mom!" "No... I am your mom."

@pinkypurple2168 6 жыл бұрын

"The next Divergent Maze Potter " dead XD

@georgevalley1319 6 жыл бұрын

1:24 The Shining? The Green Mile? The Shawshank Redemption? Misery?

@lanapowell 6 жыл бұрын

Danny was bullied by Jack.

@redcr33perproductions 6 жыл бұрын

George Valley Bill was bullied by Henry Bowers

@georgevalley1319 6 жыл бұрын

Randy Riggs I dont think chasing/attacking equals bullying.

@princessofjedi 6 жыл бұрын

jack was a bully. read the book. he takes out his anger on other people. he breaks danny's arm and beats the snot out of a student. he is absolutely a bully in the worst possible way.

@georgevalley1319 6 жыл бұрын

Shawna Jackson Jeremy said "a movie based on a Stephen King book." So I'm obviously not talking about the book.

@SuperAtheist 6 жыл бұрын

his shine is pure. he's 100% DIVERGENT, .

@purplemanjr99 6 жыл бұрын

SuperAtheist I

@Namster05 6 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry, there's a typo in the title. It should say "Everything is wrong with Dark Tower"

@lepj3880 6 жыл бұрын

*with the movie named Dark Tower

@elsahoche1536 5 жыл бұрын

I loved this movie so I guess everything is wrong with the advertising around it.

@LadyOnikara 3 жыл бұрын

I have to admit Idris Elba is cute and the guy who played Walter is cool. Other than that, ick.

@smokeykiwi8992 2 жыл бұрын

@@elsahoche1536 you probably haven’t read the books..

@smokeykiwi8992 2 жыл бұрын

@Rowan Nowicki you probably haven’t read the books.

@kristjannoikristjansson3260 4 жыл бұрын

omg, the kid that played the bully also played henry in it! He must really love playing horror story bullys

@TheGoodwolfe 6 жыл бұрын

Sorry, it's not possible to go over everything wrong with "The Dark Tower" in 17 min.!

@ThePsyyyyyduck 6 жыл бұрын

114 isnt enough for this abomination

@kenimaticjuggallo 5 жыл бұрын

wow this is the most blatant and intense butchering of a great story I've seen in a while

@mistere873 4 жыл бұрын

It’s better if you look at it as a continuation or spin off of the book series.

@LadyOnikara 3 жыл бұрын

@@mistere873 No it isn't.

@mistere873 3 жыл бұрын

Lady Onikara I just said it’s better, still doesn’t mean it’s good. It’s just slightly less bad.

@polarcobb6065 3 жыл бұрын

It may be a good story, but it's a bad movie

@alioop3306 3 жыл бұрын

@@mistere873 I'm sorry but No. I've read the books and the short stories. This was a travesty. They focused on Jake because they wanted it PG-13. They stripped this movie from everything that made it compelling.

@eatmyphatphuckingass 6 жыл бұрын

Hahahah "any Boo Radley in Brooklyn" I got that tkam reference

@TearYouApart360 6 жыл бұрын

This should be a TV series not a movie series.

@FleeTheFactory31 6 жыл бұрын

Joshua Baratheon I think HBO acquired the rights and are supposedly sticking to the source material. Everyone knows this movie was trash and an insult to fans of the books.

@joshuahoover6841 6 жыл бұрын

It needs an animated series. That is the only way you can do this story Justice

@kryldon8146 6 жыл бұрын

Joshua Hoover Now that would be great!

@Maggerama 6 жыл бұрын

The Stand, despite all its flaws, at least did Flagg right. This one is 100% corporate, unoriginal G-man bullshit.

@jefferycrouse4652 6 жыл бұрын

Magerama Matthew McConaughey as flagg is where I knew this movie was fucked. I'd have gone with gary oldman at least.

@Maggerama 6 жыл бұрын

I feel really bad for him and Idris. I like your choice, but I'd go for someone like Willem Dafoe personally.

@undeadly 6 жыл бұрын

This was painful, what a wasted opportunity for such an amazing series

@ihatemymeds 4 жыл бұрын

The thing is that Stephen King really does have a massive universe. With the baddies from Dark Tower, Insomnia, the Stand, It and others all working together. It could be bigger than the MCU.

@SuperGreatSphinx 4 жыл бұрын

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiverse_(Stephen_King)

@Alex_...34565 Жыл бұрын

it IS bigger.

@rozwynn2349 Жыл бұрын

💯💯

@der_sebbl 6 жыл бұрын

This movie is so unbelievble bad! What besides the names is in there from the books?

@lepj3880 6 жыл бұрын

Hey, they missed to add two (or 3 with Oy) main characters, they completely f*cked up the whole story and destroyed the whole mythology of Stephen King`s work, but beside this, the movie wasn`t too bad (sarcasm)

@larsrasmussen1714 6 жыл бұрын

A lot, but it's all either used falsely or stupidly or robbed of the context. I mean, the entire movie is 90 minutes of lack of context, but they obviously and unsurprisingly attempted to cater to fans of the actual book series while still making a no brainer action movie for Mr. and Mrs. Whatchamado to go watch on Saturday evening. They failed at both. This movie is an embarrassment to the books.

@bijou989 6 жыл бұрын

The name of the liberal fuckhole who wrote the novels?

@ryantafoya487 6 жыл бұрын

Daniel X If you actually read the books, you would know that Roland of Gilead is the 'forseen one' or something like that. It basically means that everything that happens is in a loop, but changes differently every time. In the level of the Tower that the books were on, we picked up Eddie and Susannah along the way. Roland also lost fingers on his right hand to the lobstrosites (dad-a-chum, dad-a-chee). At the end of the series, Roland reaches the top of the Tower, and everything repeats. But, the next time, he took the couple seconds after the Battle of Jericho Hill to pick up the Horn of Eld. On the level of the Tower that this movie takes place, Roland meets up with Jake somewhere other than the Way-Station. The Callas, Blaine (is a pain), the City of Lud, the Tet Corporation, all of that is promptly skimmed over. But that doesnt mean that this movie couldn't happen. In some level of the Tower, Roland may have been killed with the fall of Gilead. It all doesn't matter, because it all repeats. It changes. It is all 19.

@ryantafoya487 6 жыл бұрын

lepj Daniel X If you actually read the books, you would know that Roland of Gilead is the 'forseen one' or something like that. It basically means that everything that happens is in a loop, but changes differently every time. In the level of the Tower that the books were on, we picked up Eddie and Susannah along the way. Roland also lost fingers on his right hand to the lobstrosites (dad-a-chum, dad-a-chee). At the end of the series, Roland reaches the top of the Tower, and everything repeats. But, the next time, he took the couple seconds after the Battle of Jericho Hill to pick up the Horn of Eld. On the level of the Tower that this movie takes place, Roland meets up with Jake somewhere other than the Way-Station. The Callas, Blaine (is a pain), the City of Lud, the Tet Corporation, all of that is promptly skimmed over. But that doesnt mean that this movie couldn't happen. In some level of the Tower, Roland may have been killed with the fall of Gilead. It all doesn't matter, because it all repeats. It changes. It is all 19.

@etoilefushigi 6 жыл бұрын

This movie made me want to jump into a bottomless pit- Why? Because there are other worlds then this... and in those worlds this movie may hopefully not exist.

@trashpanda6885 6 жыл бұрын

Even better there might even be one where it was adapted with the care of something like the Witcher or LotR and was produced as an epic trilogy/hbo series.

@alieninthevideo441 6 жыл бұрын

I'd just like to live in the world where this movie was good.

@Dancerama6 6 жыл бұрын

How would a bottomless pit transport you to another world??

@SuperDarthLink 4 жыл бұрын

I didn’t even know you did this movie! Awesome Job once again, beating the competition once again.

@stlwill4914 6 жыл бұрын

Im sure someone else already noted this, but Location 14-08 references Room 1408 a Steven King film as well

@JOHN0577ANDFRIENDS 6 жыл бұрын

15:58 trigger is released and the single action revolver's hammer magically comes back.

@Kelnor277 6 жыл бұрын

That's the actor firing a double action revolver. As for why the hammer is cocking on trigger RELEASE instead of pull. Well short answer is it's not because cameras. Long answer is watch this video: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/pLZhmM9-t5vVmpc.html . Medium answer is it takes a non-zero amount of time for a camera to capture an entire frame. So a small amount of time passes from when it captures the part of the frame with the hammer and the part of the frame with the trigger making it appear like they're out of sync. As for should they be double action revolvers? It's been a long time since I've read the Dark Tower and I forgot what kind of guns Roland had.

@matohibiki 6 жыл бұрын

Those guns look like colt navy conversions from cap and ball to cartridges, but I'm certain the original ones in the books were single-action.

@chrisgoshey7388 6 жыл бұрын

Its an 1858 Remington: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remington_Model_1858#/media/File:New_model_Army_IMG_3544.jpg Probably a convert to metallic cartridges, though it looks like the shots are igniting like a cap and ball. Also, single action only.

@brcledus 6 жыл бұрын

I was wondering if there were any other gun nerds that noticed the single action revolvers magically cocking back

@Ozolz 6 жыл бұрын

Everything IS wrong with The Dark Tower

@KirkWilson86 4 жыл бұрын

"Who throws a shoe, honestly?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@angiekelley9038 4 жыл бұрын

This movie would have been worth watching if they included the suicidal "Thomas the Tank Engine" train that will only continue moving if you give it riddles.

@BileDuctBalderdash 4 жыл бұрын

Blaine is a pain and that is the truth

@angiekelley9038 4 жыл бұрын

@@BileDuctBalderdash Is that the name of the train?

@miguelortiz3836 3 жыл бұрын

@@angiekelley9038 Yes, the train's name is "Blaine the monorail" aka Blaine the Mono.

@Bannysadkosays2u 3 жыл бұрын

Angie Kelly, there's another train, and unlike the mono, it does look like Thomas. His name is Charlie the Choo Choo.

@angiekelley9038 3 жыл бұрын

@@Bannysadkosays2u The movie would have been better if at least one of them were in the movie. Thanks.

@jangela4599 6 жыл бұрын

Please cover the babadook

@alexmcgrew9862 6 жыл бұрын

Mister King Dice i really enjoyed that movie

@kellenmoore960 6 жыл бұрын

I will say this much, the movie got me interested enough to read the books so that in itself is pretty nice

@kellenmoore960 6 жыл бұрын

Yeah I get that now, what I'm saying is that the movie with its broad release, brought to my attention this really good series. I wouldn't have even heard about it if not for the movie so it was just one of those exposure deals (:

@referenceking8848 6 жыл бұрын

Kellen Moore yeah, and if you were to watch the movie before reading the books it wouldn’t seem nearly as bad. Not sure if you are saying that is what you did or not, but me and my friend watched the movie, and he thought it was intriguing and pretty good (because he never read the books)

@Klm49 6 жыл бұрын

Same. Hearing the movie was coming made me download the Gunslinger to read ahead of time. So good!

@kellenmoore960 6 жыл бұрын

I see what you're saying Reference, I was essentially your friend, who then read the books after seeing the movie

@streeTkiDwannaBe 6 жыл бұрын

Reading that just became my silver lining for this whole shitshow of a movie. That it, at least, got some into the book series.

@randelldarky3920 4 жыл бұрын

I read the series. All I can ask is WTF? I am glad I never watched it.

@MrBaskins2010 6 жыл бұрын

You made a stringer bell joke, I love you man

@shallanbrightness3520 6 жыл бұрын

Well, in another world The Dark Tower got the TV Series it deserves.. Just not in here. :(

@Paulafan5 6 жыл бұрын

A crappy series like "Under the Dome"?

@DoctorPenguin21 6 жыл бұрын

It's such a damn shame that this film was such garbage, because the books- up until the last 2- I adored! Oh well... It's just a movie at the end of the day haha. Nothing too serious.

@splatttt 6 жыл бұрын

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person that liked the last book lol. But I totally agree with you. Long days and pleasant nights.

@bookfound 6 жыл бұрын

That doesn't make much sense; Unless you mean that movies are expected to suck.

@matsujonen 6 жыл бұрын

I liked the book just the ending was meh

@Chaos89P 6 жыл бұрын

I thought _The Drawing of the Three_ kinda dragged, but I was completely engrossed in the final book.

@jcb0249 6 жыл бұрын

Upside, The way Hollywood is going it will be "rebooted" or "Re imagined" in like 3 years...4 tops.

@ChillDealGames 3 жыл бұрын

I don't think I've ever needed one of these as much as I needed this one.

@fredsalter1915 Жыл бұрын

15:13 dude, you gotta admit.. that OG Colt single action speed reload is quite dope!!!

@Aimismyname 6 жыл бұрын

man i so badly wanted this to be good

@Kyle-sr6jm 6 жыл бұрын

Can you imagine if they had made this like Lord of the Rings, and actually followed the book? We could of had an epic series on our hands. Instead, its like we ran out of toilet paper, and are now very awkwardly trying to wash...

@keileb4295 6 жыл бұрын

The bully at 1:26 is also Henery Bowers in IT

@whackgrack 6 жыл бұрын

I noticed that too!!!

@yasmynemcdonald310 6 жыл бұрын

I had actually missed that Pennywise sign. Lol

@NicoleJosey 6 жыл бұрын

LOL "Divergent Maze Potter" very clever, I'm still stuck on that

@et3747 6 жыл бұрын

I dare you to do Everything Wrong With The Great Escape, I’d like to see you guys try

@I.KUchiha 6 жыл бұрын

et 37 the studio logos at the start would literally be the first sin. So you're challenge is invalid already

@zechymahler 6 жыл бұрын

I love that movie, but I doubt it would be hard to find things to nitpick with it.

@torbenholzkamp7433 6 жыл бұрын

Same

@OneTyler2Many 6 жыл бұрын

Oh man that's a good movie. Your evil

@biohazard724 6 жыл бұрын

It's been years since I've seen it but wasn't their escape plan unnecessarily complicated to begin with, thus getting it completely borked?

@King4sshole89 6 жыл бұрын

A Dark Tower Movie with Matthew McConaughey and Idris Elba and you still fuck it up? Sony just needs to die already.

@AimForMyHead81 6 жыл бұрын

What Sony?

@Egiovanni2003 6 жыл бұрын

King 4_$$hole there's a fucking rumour of them making the variant/valiant superhero comics into movies

@NYCFIGHTBACKROOMS 6 жыл бұрын

Sony has forgotten the face of its father.

@ShiningDarknes 6 жыл бұрын

Yeah man while Roland is totally a white dude in the books, I could get behind Idris playing him because I have liked everything he has done (and admittedly he was the best thing about this movie) and Matt is pretty much how I always read the man in black but he clearly was given no direction at all (likely because the director didn't know what the fuck he was doing). One of the worst movies of the year.

@MrU4theChillWind 6 жыл бұрын

15:45 "I should really just relax" *... for Mystery Cinema Sins Theater 3000!!!*

@aspecttnd 3 жыл бұрын

Throwing out To Kill A Mockingbird references and I love it :D

@gretz5792 6 жыл бұрын

This movie really sucked tbh

@sorenswitzer 6 жыл бұрын

Aqrol to be honest*

@Toronjaaccess 6 жыл бұрын

???

@refraggedbean 6 жыл бұрын

there is something wrong with you it was a great movie

@marcar9marcar972 6 жыл бұрын

Aqrol I thought it was pretty good. I didn't read the book though.

@binky2819 6 жыл бұрын

Haven't seen it, but what we see in the video seems just awful. References to other Stephen King books that are so blatant it might as well be pandering, the CGI looks terrible, and those line deliveries of "You killed my mom!" and "He's keeping the portal open!"... my god. What were they thinking with this movie? And normally you can sort of figure out the plot of a movie from cinemasins videos, but I have no fucking clue what was going on in this movie.

@cherylhutchinson6566 6 жыл бұрын

I do not kill with my gun I kill with my other gun.

@richiemanuta9345 6 жыл бұрын

Cheryl Hutchinson 😂

@Buretsu 6 жыл бұрын

I do not kill with my gun, I kill with my terrible movie adaptations.

@kaimagnus5760 6 жыл бұрын

I don't kill with my Gun. I kill with My Bullets.

@hotaru1231 6 жыл бұрын

ITS DARUDE SANDSTORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@LordOfDarknessTim 6 жыл бұрын

Oh my. Liked and subbed just for the "a Time to Kill" reference.

@hannahbanana9466 6 жыл бұрын

This brought me back to your old vids, great jobs guys you've always amazed me on how you can keep your content fresh

@99Pierogies 6 жыл бұрын

how is it fresh? its the same jokes over and over

@SavageDawgJoshua 6 жыл бұрын

An explanation of "keystone earth" and why not explaining it in the movie would be a problem: "Keystone" earth is in our time, before the events of "The Stand" and the Captain Trips outbreak. "Mid World" is in Roland's time/dimention a thousand years or so after "The Stand". We (book readers) know this from the first book when Roland and Jake are in the underground rail system fighting the slo-mutants... they find mummified guards from during the outbreak with obvious signs of tube neck. I dunno. Doesn't matter. Worst Stephen King adapted movie ever, and there is a made-for-tv version of "Tommyknockers" which previously took the title.

@levi_octavian 6 жыл бұрын

stmichelob I agree

@SavageDawgJoshua 6 жыл бұрын

Xenovista.... didn't care about... what?

@fraziercrawford 6 жыл бұрын

Aaaaaaaah I wish I hadn't read this comment. I'm two books into Dark Tower but I've never read any other Stephen King work and I feel crazy out of the loop now.

@SavageDawgJoshua 6 жыл бұрын

Frazier don't sweat it buddy. That "Easter egg" from the first book is only one of a very few in the series, and only serves to explain a few things and give call-back butterflies for SK fans. Not having read any other works isn't going top hurt your experience at all, but may get you to start looking into it. Some suggestive reading that directly ties into TDT: The Stand, Salem's Lot, (The Talisman? Been a while...)... I can't think of any others, but maybe you should read "Salem's Lot" BEFORE reading "Wolves of the Calla". Thinking now, that one may be more important to understanding "Wolves", but if I remember correctly, I think SK does some good expositional explaining for those who hadn't read "Salem's Lot". I dunno. Just read EVERYTHING before "The Dark Half". His writing gets kinda sketchy after that book IMO.

@JohnNewton27 6 жыл бұрын

The Stand was an alternate Earth than where any of the characters came from. Remember, they traveled there in the fourth book.