Favorite Person & Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Рет қаралды 786,722

Күн бұрын

Order my BPD workbook at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
I added a link to my second FP video at the end of this one. It's called: BPD and Managing the Favorite Person Relationship.
This video will discuss the concept of BPD favorite person, differentiate it from a best friend, identify the 4 relationship types, and discuss 5 treatment techniques you can use to help you manage the concept of favorite person.
Disclaimer: favorite person is not always a pathological construct and tends to be very personal, but it can add to issues and problems based upon who the favorite person is (in my clinical experience). This video is meant to help and never to criticize or hurt in anyway. I know this is a sensitive topic and I treat it as such in the video.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children: www.amazon.com/Narcissistic-P...
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD -COMING SOON-
Dr. Fox has been teaching and supervising students for over 15 years at various universities across the United States, some of which include West Virginia University, Texas A&M University, University of Houston, Sam Houston State University, and Florida State University. He is currently a staff psychologist in the federal prison system, Adjunct Assistant Professor at University of Houston, as well as maintaining a private practice that specializes in the assessment and treatment of individuals with complex psychopathology and personality disorders.
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
KZfaq: / drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: goo.gl/1X1vhR
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.

Пікірлер: 3 300

@elizabethdenny4598 4 жыл бұрын

Having a favorite person that isn’t your partner makes having a partner impossible.

@rahmabenahmed7665 4 жыл бұрын

I am struggling with this fact ... :( and I am stunned how many pple including my friends can do it :( ......

@elizabethdenny4598 4 жыл бұрын

Christina Alt I didn’t say you didn’t 🙃

@snailienio 4 жыл бұрын

So have most partners been their FP before then? And: Do FPs ever just suddently stop from the BPD-side? Got to know someone with BPD the other day, I think i might be their FP yet. I'd really appreciate any sort of advice, so i can better respond to her needs. I'm a really calm guy that always wants to solve problems.. sooo I actually got hope this might work. Best regards from Germany, keep your heads up

@dairomi9447 4 жыл бұрын

im fucking struggeling with this

@cddvddd2134 4 жыл бұрын

I don’t understand this comment?

@variables8687 3 жыл бұрын

After 3 years of therapy non stop twice a week I officially dont have borderline!! I dont meet any of the 9 criteria for Borderline anymore and I want to shout it from rooftops!! I was so scared that this was gonna be my life forever but it is possible to get well

@isssomirr 3 жыл бұрын

wow! good job!!

@MahinKhattak 3 жыл бұрын

Im so proud of you! My best friend has BPD and I'm browsing everywhere to know how I can best help her. Its 5 a.m in the morning, I have been up all night

@jimmygarcia7250 3 жыл бұрын

Awesome to hear, could you give insight on what kind of therapy was implenmented?

@twistedalicemcgee 3 жыл бұрын

I wish I could do that: congratulations

@colettephair 3 жыл бұрын

Can I ask what types of therapy you did and how? I have had it my whole life and done more than 3 years of therapy.

@cynzix 3 жыл бұрын

The deadly combo: a BPD and their favorite person is an NPD...

@afreen5058 3 жыл бұрын

😔 right on...

@annepanneflanne 3 жыл бұрын

what is npd?

@natasha83196 3 жыл бұрын

@@annepanneflanne narcissistic personality disorder

@ivyclawz7986 3 жыл бұрын

my FP isn't someone with NPD but i have a close friend that has it and they are really cool and an advocate for mental health. unfortunately they can be quite mean sometimes.

@purraultpurralta5612 3 жыл бұрын

that happened to me.... and it really is deadly ;___; (i had an fp for 10 years with npd)

@lindaslinger4413 Жыл бұрын

Having a romantic relationship with my favorite person is both amazing and killing. When things are good, it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. When something’s wrong or he triggers me, i’d rather die than deal with the pain it gives me.

@Calvoa12345 Ай бұрын

Exactly!

@taylorbee4010 Ай бұрын

Are borderline folks often avoidant?

@sandrocosta479 17 күн бұрын

When they leave you it's excruciating

@BelleFlower15 5 жыл бұрын

I'm stunned. Just stunned. It's so surreal to hear someone calmly explain my life's story to me. I even use that exact term: "You're my favorite person."

@doreenplischke7645 5 жыл бұрын

BelleFlower15 hahaha. Nicely put.:)

@thedmboothe 5 жыл бұрын

Ikr🤦🏾‍♀️

@jessyjulie5506 4 жыл бұрын

I have used that phrase too. In my head and out loud. Lol

@nightmarebeforecoffee 4 жыл бұрын

i have been unconsciously making different people my fp for years and years now and i NEVER knew there was a name for it until looking deeper into the bpd community after my diagnosis! this has helped me so much! i thought i was just really clingy!

@sarahhemphill8877 4 жыл бұрын

I honestly thought this was a normal thing that everyone went through. I dont even refer to them as my favorite person, I refer to them as just my favorite implying that i love them more than any other thing on earth.

@DJsk8s 6 жыл бұрын

I don't like being around people that much and I usually isolate myself as much as possible, but as soon as I make a connection with someone They become my favorite person and I can't stand being alone for even just a minute.

@DrDanielFox 6 жыл бұрын

Jai Nunez it’s a very push-pull sensation that is common in BPD. Awareness is an important factor and can be the first step to doing it differently. I wish you well.

@rebeccaj34 5 жыл бұрын

I used to be this way. This DOES improve. I promise!

@Aya-fk5tz 5 жыл бұрын

Rebecca J how does it improve?

@Fairydust.86 5 жыл бұрын

Jai Nunez this is me 😭

@themaggattack 5 жыл бұрын

@@Aya-fk5tz I think after putting yourself through enough torment and pushing so many ppl away and embarrassing yourself and feeling devastated and alone enough, eventually we learn healthier behaviours. There's only so much crash and burn a person can take before we recognize a pattern and start taking steps to change it.

@Duckyyxo Жыл бұрын

im here 5 years later to take a minute to tell yall, it is possible to have a healthy fp relationship, it just takes time, so glad to hear a dr talk about fp’s, not everybody knows about them in the medical field to be honest

@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын

Thank you

@dickdaring365 Жыл бұрын

Hey Teesh, how was this possible for you? I’m an FP and my GF of 7 years called a break to our relationship this week, we are speaking again on Friday (if she feels up to it), I want to tell her that she’s loved and brave for making this decision and that we both need to be apart to work on ourselves, but I will always be there as support.

@artandscience1 3 ай бұрын

Dear @@DrDanielFox Please make a video about BPD favourite person and energy vampire... for a lack of better word. My BPD-partner did that in the symbiosis phase, before devaluing me. I felt like my whole energy got sucked out of me! He was an energy-vampire. I was so exhausted so i needed to distance. And, one video on how to handle the stonewalling by them after they've really hurt the partner. Thank you! ❤

@Beaufallow 8 күн бұрын

Thanks, my wife has BPD and I have not been able to handle it properly. Our life has been an absolute whirlwind. She met me maybe a week after my mom died I was living in a sober house after years of heroin and meth addiction, we were pregnant within 3 months during which was more arguing than I’ve ever experienced. I relapsed went back to treatment and then sober house and moved I together as our daughter was born. She already had two kids from previous marriage. We continued our relationship meanwhile we were both finding things out the other did while I was getting treatment, so the arguments continued. Somewhere started a small business out of a pop up tent that grew into a food truck. We had our second child together for a total of four. Maybe had one “decentish” year. Now we are expecting our fifth child in October, and things are really coming to a head and getting even harder all still running a successful business together trying to raise four kids with a fifth on the way. She claims I have NPD.. I disagree do I have begun therapy. She hasn’t done any sort of therapy since the beginning of our relationship when she was diagnosed. I haven’t been able to grasp how to help her through things and I continue to trigger her. In my mind my existence is her trigger, but I also get more upset/angry than I should when she is triggered. We both say horrible things to each other. She get violent, I accuse her of things she probably isn’t doing but has in the past. And I just want it all to stop but I don’t believe splitting is the right decision. She says she is going to get therapy again but I have yet to see it…..I’m scared for our family. I understand she doesn’t mean the horrible things she says but I can’t hold back a reaction because they are so personal and persistent.

@Yunglizard2777 Жыл бұрын

it’s so exhausting to live with this disorder. it’s so embarrassing how obsessed i get with one person and i always push them away with my paranoid delusions and intense emotions. no matter how self aware i an my emotions get the best of me and i fuck it all up

@AURIELLA333 5 жыл бұрын

This is so eye opening. For me, if i dont have a favorite person i feel very lonely no matter how many friends i have. Hopefully i can be my own favorite person one day

@6si6rh6C 4 жыл бұрын

Same :/

@monicalucas6627 4 жыл бұрын

This is the fucking truth

@C4millee99 4 жыл бұрын

the road to self empowerment is a hard one :(

@evaeva1806 4 жыл бұрын

that's a really good suggestion and solution to the issue to be fair, becoming your own favourite person will take a lot of commitment and dedication to achieve, but it really is vital. Become the star of your own movie, you are the most important person in your life at the end of the day, its so easy to get caught up in living to serve other people and other things, but when it comes down to it, its really your life to live and love.

@cddvddd2134 4 жыл бұрын

I feel that but I never have friends

@XXthelivingdead 4 жыл бұрын

Its hard when your favourite person is actually a legit toxic person to you and your mental health too honestly. I've experienced this in the past and it has made me even worse.

@lola_daytona 4 жыл бұрын

Im going through this right now and yeah its fucking the worst.

@esnutaliah 4 жыл бұрын

Same, friends

@6revoL6nataS6 4 жыл бұрын

How do y’all get over that shit. I can relate

@smushbrain 4 жыл бұрын

maui wowi J.M.A.R just keep swimming. Things get better eventually

@sehrinteressant 4 жыл бұрын

I can relate to this so much. I‘ve had feelings for a narcisstic man since more than 2 years. I know that he will never be able to love me like I do but those feelings I get when we chat are like a drug to me and make me feel better instantly. When I don‘t connect to him anymore I feel empty and lonely. If I loose contact to him I automatically search for distraction, another person which can be my drug. It is so bad. I wish so hard I could just live by myself without nobody because I get hurt all the time by my high expectations and neediness but I can not do it because then I feel alone again. I feel so trapped.

@proudamerican5466 2 жыл бұрын

Ive dated a girl with BPD. My heart goes to her. It really tore me apart when i had to break up with her. But she was drowning me with herself. Some might think its selfish what i did, but i had to save myself.

@jenbodhi1133 2 жыл бұрын

I had to end friendship with my best friend for this reason too, I felt absolutely awful but I was drowning as well

@gorillazgirl2124 2 жыл бұрын

It's so sad to see how many of those who were in friendships or relationships with pwBPD actually loved them deeply. Your mind tries to convince you that they don't care and that you're bad and blablabla but often times it's not you that that person is trying to leave, it's your disorder.

@norm9712 21 күн бұрын

As a borderline personality I say your decision is right

@kayleigh2245 2 жыл бұрын

I’ve been “the favorite person” I think on a couple different occasions with people who I’ve suspected have borderline or who do have borderline. It’s traumatized me, over and over again. The guilt for feeling like I made them reliant on me for stability, the guilt for not being able to possibly give enough of myself to them, the resentment that grows due to the constant emotional abuse (and they can always tell if there’s even a hint resentment), it’s just a lot for one person to hold. I no longer will let anyone get dependent on me or see me as some sort of savior, I’ve learned to draw clear boundaries from the get go because it’s so much harder to draw them when you’re already in deep with someone who’s made you their Favorite Person. I’ve lost compassion for people with borderline due to years of emotional abuse but it’s helpful for me to recognize where I realistically went wrong with certain people and to understand that their mindset is coming from a very traumatized and insecure place. That doesn’t excuse abusive behaviors but it does help me not be so angry. The bottom line is I’ve grown and learned that even though it gives me a sense of happiness to help someone who’s struggling/to be idolized by someone (narcissistic of me), it isn’t worth it and is so damaging for everyone involved.

@DrDanielFox 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.

@calebwilson3817 2 жыл бұрын

Interesting how ignored this comment is, but I just thought the same thing! I feel terrible, but until I've healed from my own trauma and handle my ADHD (and rejection sensitivity from that) i dont feel comfortable allowing people who may treat me as their "FP" close anore. Ive had repeated patterns of friendships that felt like i was their "everything" and only "real friend" and its jaded me over 20 years. I'm so sorry you've also experienced this and I hope you've been able to heal 💛

@fredflintstonefan39 2 жыл бұрын

I've been in the same boat with an ex. It's awful.

@kunkudunk1133 2 жыл бұрын

It kinda feels like that’s how my current relationship is and it’s very draining. I’m simultaneously the best and worst at so many things it feels like and I can never give him enough attention. We are starting couples therapy but I’m not even sure what to say at this point. I’m out of energy, and while I love him, everyone in our lives comments on how unpredictable and intense his emotions are. Additionally his desire to have all of my time distorts his perception of how much time I give him and it’s exhausting. I also like to hang out with other friends of mine alone just to catch up and he has always felt that was weird and didn’t get why he couldn’t come along and says it makes him think they hate him and I’m like that’s not how people work…. Sorry for venting on your comment just it seemed very relatable to me

@loto7197 2 жыл бұрын

Way to make it all about you

@warmwishesxo 4 жыл бұрын

I’m so obsessed with my boyfriend. This is all so true, so me. I have all these issues with him. It makes me want to break up with him so he doesn’t have to deal with me anymore, but I’m so attached to him. I wouldn’t wish BPD on my worst enemy.

@shaylandavloggz6224 3 жыл бұрын

Aww, sweetie. You're enough and you're not a burden. Try to distract yourself with charitable activities or artwork or something like that.

@chuutheecomrade 2 жыл бұрын

lol i'm in the same boat

@lauraciuraneta 2 жыл бұрын

same, such an awful feeling, i don't know how to manage this

@Duke_Scanlan 2 жыл бұрын

I have BPD and I would wish worse on people that I hate.

@lauraciuraneta 2 жыл бұрын

@@Duke_Scanlan lmao that's the spirit

@Delusionn 4 жыл бұрын

This video scares me. I don't want to talk to my therapist about BPD because it sounds like I have it. Doing research on the subject makes me angry, sad, and sometimes I will just laugh because I dont know how to express my emotions. I'm in pain all the time and default to very negative thinking about myself and others. I just want it to go away and feel normal whatever that may be.

@thedrugthatkilled 4 жыл бұрын

You are not alone 💕

@rinka6498 4 жыл бұрын

Don't worry! It's also possible to have traits, without having the full disorder, which is significantly easier to work with. Also just as extra info for when you feel like you can speak with your psychologist, BDP in adult women is frequently misdiagnosed as Autistic, so be aware of that trap.

@lucyhwucy3724 4 жыл бұрын

im here going thru the same thing with u

@lyndseyf4408 4 жыл бұрын

BPD isn't that rough, honestly. Recognizing that you have it and are responsible for it really helps you. Denial doesn't. GL ;u;

@itsaasdzani1455 3 жыл бұрын

Omg I feel this so much! You arent alone! I feel your pain. But I think the first place to start is to discuss with your therapist and not be afraid and dont expect them to not be receptive because 9 out of ten they will work with you. Give it a chance. Even if your current one wont trust there will be one who will I promise and much love because I feel even now everything you are feeling rn. You'll be okay ❤💯

@phoenixreinle9398 2 жыл бұрын

Woah I thought I was just disgustingly codependent. Luckily I've made steps on my own two try to combat these feelings. Im not diagnosed with BPD but knowing this is a concept is very comforting

@LionessOfGodEternal 3 жыл бұрын

I came here because my current favorite person hasn’t responded to my message in a day. And I’m in a better place, so I’m trying my best not to spiral (as I normally would) or do things to try and catch his attention. It is really nice to hear that I’m not the only one who gets so affected by this and that there are terms and treatment for the things that I have gone through with people that I decided to set my focus on. I’m trying to learn how to stop idealizing people and to interact with them like they’re human. This is really helpful. Thank you.

@_tellavision 11 ай бұрын

It's been 2 years, but did he eventually reach out?

@greenthumbstrummer Ай бұрын

You're in a better place? You died?

@aashnachowdhury9270 5 жыл бұрын

I have been hurting my beautiful, perfect boyfriend with my crazy behaviour, just because he's my favourite person, and I'm borderline. It all makes so much sense now. Thank you.

@DaveE99 5 жыл бұрын

I was a boy freind, and dang I wish I knew this stuff when I was with her. I felt I was hurting her to the point where I couldn’t make sense of what was happening at all (she disqualified her self internally I eventually figured out but I had never run into that before, like even when i asked specifically for her feelings and thoughts.

@Weronicka050 5 жыл бұрын

How u know difference between JUST Favorite person and love???

@ShaunPatterson 5 жыл бұрын

Well do the world a favor and never date anyone else

@jazzy8941 4 жыл бұрын

Shaun Patterson you can do the same nobody wants your negativity

@ShaunPatterson 4 жыл бұрын

Jazzy yeah no problem

@pythonjava6228 4 жыл бұрын

All this time I thought I had a crush on someone but it turns out they're my "favourite person" as you call it. It really explains a lot. I've always known my attachment to them was unhealthy but I didn't know there was a name for it

@pinkrey4277 4 жыл бұрын

python java aghhh me too

@depressoespresso3931 4 жыл бұрын

python java me too tbh

@elisedebo152 4 жыл бұрын

python java agh I have always thought I was gay or bisexual bc of this and then after this I realized it’s just cuz they’re my favorite people lol

@dairomi9447 4 жыл бұрын

yea same.

@CaroCoffler 3 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, ...same.

@fredflintstonefan39 2 жыл бұрын

This makes a lot of sense. I was definitely the favorite person of my ex girlfriend. She had no other friends or hobbies and merely obsessed over me, monopolizing my time and getting upset at the slightest thing. Constantly "testing" me to see how devoted I was to her. After putting up with the difficult behavior for so long, it's both relieving and a bit disappointing when they find a different favorite person and don't need you anymore. The dependency was toxic, but the feeling of being "wanted" to an extreme amount is a feeling I miss.

@DrDanielFox 2 жыл бұрын

It’s a challenging concept to contend with for sure.

@evachalupa6459 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story, Ron. I'm afraid I was doing this to my partner (now he freshly broke up and I'm devastated), not to such an extent as your ex girlfriend, but I definitely can see the same pattern. The thing is, I never wanted to do this and wanted to give him all his freedoms but sometimes it was just stronger than me :( On the other hand, we wasn't reliable and made my insecurities even worse (he broke up like 6 times until now, because he was still attached to his ex). All my life I was thinking that my 100% loyalty and ability for super intense love was my superpower, and that it's an "honour" for the Favourite person to be my Favourite person.. only now that (what I thought was) the love of my life broke up definitely, and after I read your comment, I see how devastating it could have been. Plus, he has an extremely avoidant attachment style, which made a pretty painful combination for me just as well as him. I am trying so so hard to fix myself and control my thoughts and my behaviour. I hope it gets better and I will be able to have a healthy respectful understanding relationship one day.

@_____J_____ 2 жыл бұрын

@@evachalupa6459 What should your bf have done differently besides the stuff you already mentioned? I’m currently starting to become the favorite person of my gf and I don’t know if I should be more distant and cold whenever she does something bad so that I don’t validate her behavior or if I should give her more attention in order for her to get what she needs in that moment.

@_____J_____ 2 жыл бұрын

I’m in the same situation, what do you wish that you had known back then?

@carloshasabighead 2 жыл бұрын

Can I ask…did your girlfriend pursue you in the beginning or did you pursue her?

@KimRope 2 жыл бұрын

I could not stop laughing towards the end when he’s talking so calmly and logically about something so intense I’ve struggled with a lot of my life. Partly laughing bc I’m like HE UNDERSTANDS how emotionally extreme it feels, I finally feel understood

@erinmullen2397 6 жыл бұрын

These videos are so encouraging and refreshing. It's so nice to be able to watch videos about my disorder without feeling demonized and being able to feel like someone really understands and is supportive. Wish that I could find a doctor as understanding and helpful as these videos are.

@jaimeloya9489 5 жыл бұрын

I TOTALLY agree w u!!!

@flexibledreamer7846 5 жыл бұрын

💯 I’m so sad he doesn’t practice in my state.

@Ben-jq5oo 5 жыл бұрын

Me too. He's welcome in Western Australia anytime. The most positive snd intuitive therapist ever x

@cincilitigator5108 5 жыл бұрын

Erin Mullen was

@beyondbeauty6921 5 жыл бұрын

Erin Mullen most doctors avoid borderlines as they tend to be toxic

@bananafanafoferry6970 6 жыл бұрын

This is definitely me!! I cling to a man I really dig on and he will be the center of my universe. If I don’t hear from him I will be inconsolable!!!!! If he does interact with me I will be happy for a while, but sometimes I will need more from him and start to despair if he isn’t giving it to me or seems to lose interest. It’s absolutely terrible.

@witchywisdom4505 5 жыл бұрын

Read books on co-dependency

@PositiveMommaLife 5 жыл бұрын

Banana Fanafoferry invest in you and be your own roller coaster! Less emotionally exhausting.

@joannaedssay5988 5 жыл бұрын

@Banana Fanafoferry I know exactly how you feel as I can be the same, I actively avoid any kind of romantic relationship or even potential situations to stop myself getting into the same position as you describe. It is awful isn't it. I sincerely hope you are well and happy :)

@VoiceOfThe 5 жыл бұрын

Marina Phillips Would you say along with craving constant attention and validation, do you seek drama in your relationships to give you that rollercoaster of emotions?

@forjusticeandtruth 5 жыл бұрын

@@VoiceOfThe I'm not a doctor and I wont pretend to be but isnt that more like what narcissists do? Wreak havoc for the sake of wreaking havoc.

@reynanteromano9264 3 жыл бұрын

I was devalued several times from my ex who suffered from this illness. Broke off the love we had as if I were speaking with two people. One that loves me, and the other that hates everything about me. And now she’s gone. I did my part about studying BPD further, now it’s too late, because I feel like all the answers that would have saved our relationship, was from this video. Damn.

@AlonsoBall88 Жыл бұрын

Be grateful instead...You saved yourself a lot of pain

@helenga666 Жыл бұрын

Going thru this now....

@Elucie7575 3 ай бұрын

Hope you’re doing well now ❤

@LizaLavolta 2 жыл бұрын

I was the fav person. He pushed me out with testing and abuse. He told me if you want what's best for me it isn't this. I took that to heart. I want what's best for him. Strangely after I left he wants my presence. Well no thanks. I'm not a doll to grab and throw away. I'm now thinking about what's best for me for once. He used phrases like "you're my best friend" then tried to break up a day later. "light in my life" "answered prayer" "favorite" "sweetest thing that ever happened to me" "gem" "Queen"

@OverlyEpux 4 жыл бұрын

It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this. It hurts so much when they're gone but I'm invincible when they're around.

@wesley6442 2 жыл бұрын

It really is a drug, a painkiller. When this person is around I feel no pain and am so confident and happy and social. When they are gone, I am a no one a leaf floating in the wind no one notices or cares about.. I have gotten better lately but I definitely have days where I feel non existent without them

@suzsiz 6 жыл бұрын

maybe we should all have pets. I had a cat when I grew up that was soo dear to me, and I think he helped me alot more than I was aware of back then.

@benedettasavitri9644 5 жыл бұрын

I also superlove my cat

@alexandriadavila1337 5 жыл бұрын

Yes!!! A lot of times when I’m hurting from my favorite person, it’s like my cats take the place of my favorite person and they always make me feel so much better.

@tinabaker8151 5 жыл бұрын

I love my cat 🐈 she gives me the best hugs 🤗

@witchywisdom4505 5 жыл бұрын

Us borderlines aka empaths aka natural witches love our sweet healing cat companions. Lol

@themaggattack 5 жыл бұрын

No pun intended, but my family cat brought me back from a near catatonic state, once. I was still young then and living at my parent's house. It was new year's eve and my favorite person had dumped me. My family was off celebrating new years. I was isolated and devastated beyond all repair. I profoundly believed I was a useless and bad person. That I deserved to be alone and unloved. I thought I might as well be dead. Then my cat came and sat on my chest. She wasn't usually the snuggly type. She was usually the scrappy, biting, scratching type. But she just sat there and snuggled tenderly, right on my heart for hours. She infused the will to live into my heart again. Like a fuzzy little defibrillator of love.

@calebwilson3817 2 жыл бұрын

As an abuse victim, I've found myself the "FP" of several people over the years that I feel treated me exactly the way your describing, and its been so harmful for my healing journey from emotional manipulation and abuse. Ngl, this only helps a little with my negative views of people who've treated me this way. Im sorry to everyone w BPD, but please please please get help so you don't hurt the people you care about. I know it isn't fair and y'all can't help it always, but it can be sooooo toxic and BPD isnt an excuse- but a reason. I love you all and wish you the best of luck 💜

@ALGARIC 5 ай бұрын

Why do you keep attracting pwBPD?

@arandomcatheehee 2 жыл бұрын

My entire life, my mom has been my “favorite person”. Probably due to the fact that she was the person who comforted me and made me feel safe. She was the one who started working on learning to help me through my break downs and irrational thoughts. When I was 12, my first therapist told us she definitely was seeing possible signs of borderline. So my mom bought a bunch of books about the disorder, and began her research. I’m 18 now, and she still gets new books on it to this day. She has definitely done things that absolutely destroyed me, but it was always unintentional. She’s genuinely sorry, and still trying to help me. I’m seeing a DBT therapist and working on EMDR therapy, my parents are also seeing a therapist with experience in DBT so they can get an understanding of me and my disorder.

@felicityduijkersloot6043 2 жыл бұрын

You have a love hate relationship with your mom?

@jenbodhi1133 2 жыл бұрын

My mom was my favourite person too, she died last year and it was soul crushing, I’m learning to live my life without her and without a favourite person, I’m doing well

@arandomcatheehee 2 жыл бұрын

@@jenbodhi1133 I’m so sorry for your loss!! I’m glad you’re doing alright

@jenbodhi1133 2 жыл бұрын

@@arandomcatheehee thank you! ❤️

@candiced3526 4 жыл бұрын

when he said “treatment types that were gonna talk about” i felt so relieved lmaooookokok

@duderanch18237 4 жыл бұрын

My GF left me for her "favorite person." It's funny how I had no clue what it meant when she first started talking about that person. Had I known it was this much of a connection, I would've ran and saved myself the sadness.

@thatomofokeng4326 2 жыл бұрын

Someone I really like has a favorite person, I'm running for my life😭

@ghuxlhexxalot_ 2 жыл бұрын

@@thatomofokeng4326 you lost bro. Give up unless they said it theirselves that they are trying to heal themselves

@jeffreyquinonez8964 Жыл бұрын

@@thatomofokeng4326 sounds like she maybe be ur favorite person too -_- oof!

@thatomofokeng4326 Жыл бұрын

@@jeffreyquinonez8964 am honestly not disagreeing with you but I was not like this with people before I met her so In one way or another I'll run for my life and get myself back

@mooniedees8538 2 жыл бұрын

I was someone’s favorite person not too long ago, i think, and it messed me up badly. Pretty much half of my high school years were taken up by this constant tension and worry about her. She asked for so much time and attention and affirmation from me that i felt like i was suffocating. I’m not a very social person, but i felt like i had to be constantly available to her. I honestly feel like i have to thank the pandemic for giving me an excuse to distance myself and eventually formally cut off all contact. I hate what i did to her. She didn’t deserve it at all. My friends and partner hate her because of how it all affected me and took me away from them, but i don’t blame this girl at all. I think she really was trying her best to be better, to give me space, to give back to me what i gave to her, but i just couldn’t do it. Though i know it’s much more complex, i can’t help but think I was the “bad guy” in the relationship. I promised more of myself to her than i could ever feasibly give, and then i became bitter towards her like it was her fault. Cutting her out of my life was supposed to be like ripping off a bandaid, but it felt more like mercy killing a wounded animal. At least i hope it was mercy. Was i wrong? I have no idea if she’s okay or not now, but if she’s not, is it my fault? It used to be that when i met someone new, i was an open book and unafraid to be emotionally honest, but now when things get too serious i pull back and shut down. I want to go back to the way i was before, but I’m so scared of getting trapped in a relationship like that again…

@BIBLE-a-s-m-r 2 жыл бұрын

My ex of 8 years could have written this. On behalf of women with struggles like me I am so sorry for all you went through. You can make different choices next time. The real thing is to rebuild your confidence by being in similar situations (not a toxic relationship, but dating) and making better choices to prove to yourself that you can.

@gorillazgirl2124 2 жыл бұрын

You are not wrong, dear. Trust me. As someone with Borderline, it takes years and years of self awareness and work to gain emotional stability. That's something WE have to cultivate that nobody can give to us. I know you feel responsible but you're not. The way our minds work is not your fault or mission to fix. Some things are just really difficult for pwBPD to understand that make immediate sense to other people. It's like speaking a different language that most people simply can't understand. But instead of trying to force people to speak our language, we (pwBPD) should try to learn theirs. You clearly have so much compassion for your ex, and I can respect that. But you are a person with your own wants, needs, boundaries and dreams. When a pwBPD has a favorite person, they find this hard to understand. Do not put yourself back into that situation. I hope you're doing well these days and that you have begun to heal.

@bijpls4059 Жыл бұрын

@@BIBLE-a-s-m-r but I'm emotionally scarred and keep telling myself I nvr wna date again..

@bijpls4059 Жыл бұрын

@@rebeccaflutters5179 yeah. Op, you did ntg wrong & neither did she... You had to put yourself first n so that you did.

@dimpletoadfoot8631 Жыл бұрын

My daughter just had 2 best friends say they didn't wanna be her friends anymore. She was so crushed! I know she can be difficult, but she'll latch on to someone and I'm sure it can be stifling. I'm her mom, and I'll always be her Solid. I'll never give up on her.

@user-bz8fb9uu2i 3 жыл бұрын

I came here as a 10 on the intensity scale. I'm a 4 now. I am only recently learning and your videos are so helpful. Thank you Dr.

@wesley6442 2 жыл бұрын

I am with you there, I went from a full-on psycho level 10 obsession over my favorite person, did my research worked on myself and now I am a calm 2 maybe 3 on my worst days haha

@jeffreyquinonez8964 Жыл бұрын

@@wesley6442 meditate and simply observe whatever comes up. watch it dissolve and bring it down to a zero. find your true self again. you are not your bpd. plot twist. your true self is the one you are searching from xd.

@kristenbogdanoff2482 4 жыл бұрын

Oh my god... I haven’t found someone yet who has perfectly described what I go through daily. I’ve always felt crazy or hyper sensitive or Just abnormal. This video could seriously change my life. Thank you.

@kristenbogdanoff2482 3 жыл бұрын

detroit nelson wow what an eloquent speaker you are...

@milkflameee 2 жыл бұрын

Hi love ❤️

@aliceomalley378 5 жыл бұрын

I cried while watching this. I've never felt so understood. Thank you xx

@NidhiSharma-sp9bq 4 жыл бұрын

Like I'm crying right now watching him and reading these comments :(

@shambhavijha60 3 жыл бұрын

Same here. I am breaking down so bad. I feel understood finally.

@madisonmartin722 2 жыл бұрын

me too!

@iwatodye5670 2 жыл бұрын

This hits different when you were someone's "favorite person" for the first eighteen years of your life

@DrDanielFox 2 жыл бұрын

I’m glad it’s helpful.

@iamyou8416 2 жыл бұрын

@@DrDanielFox Just got the DBT Therapy and BPD workbooks! Thank you 🙏🏼

@Imprettyghoul Жыл бұрын

I’m undiagnosed but I experience the rollercoaster a lot as well as the testing and confirming. I’ve been this way for years. I constantly ruin relationships because I become too attached to people but as soon as they say something that I perceive to be hatred towards me I begin to turn on them, I begin to convince myself I don’t need them. It’s so stressful that i don’t want to make friends. there’s times where I perceive someone to hate me and I begin to really hate them which then makes me hate everyone and then they can literally walk up to me and say something nice about me and suddenly I like them again.

@hayleypogue1986 6 жыл бұрын

Oy, this explains a lot ...

@nobodynowhere5213 5 жыл бұрын

weird thing is, he does not say that they are all basically your mother. that you are projecting your mother onto people, and need them to play the part.

@iamlight1 6 жыл бұрын

What a nice man.

@floydmaclin8681 5 жыл бұрын

Your new favorite person?? smh🤔

@filippians413 4 жыл бұрын

@@floydmaclin8681 lol

@aforalphazedforzebra6314 4 жыл бұрын

Loool

@TheQuietCottage Жыл бұрын

My siblings and I always talk, semi-jokingly in a dark humor kind of way, about which one of us + our father was our mom's "favorite" at any given time during the period that we siblings all still lived with our parents as kids and young adults before moving out. The reason it was dark humor was that it was always the worst to be what we called "in Mom's favor" or being "her favorite", because it meant you were under constant scrutiny, Mom wanted and demanded 24/7 perfection toward her, and the moment she felt you had a less than perfect response, you fell from favor and hit bottom pretty hard, which was bad because then she would become abusive, or more so than usual. There was no way to control not being her favorite except to stay out of sight and out of mind as much as possible, so we would all slink around as kids trying -usually futilely - to avoid her notice. One of many rough things about being the child of a borderline, undiagnosed, untreated, and out of control by anybody. I'm pretty sure she has borderline, but she got diagnosed with bipolar recently and is fairly proud of it. I figure she either has bipolar comorbidly or the therapist was one of many who doesn't have much experience with borderline and misdiagnosed it as bipolar. Plus bipolar is supposedly not as much in your control, whereas borderline has a lot to do with your own responses and therefore has more stigma since it's considered more under your control. Or at least that's my guess.

@christiancoleman9922 3 жыл бұрын

I was just diagnosed with BPD and I literally refer to my partner of 5 years as “ my favorite person “ my mind is officially blown. Great content. I have got to show my partner this, it explains my behavior so much very enlightening.

@weirdone8784 6 жыл бұрын

Did it feel conforming to anyone else for him to talk to you like you're a small child? So kind. Thank you

@helenachase5627 5 жыл бұрын

Weird One . I noticed that , too and love it !

@sapphirerose4494 5 жыл бұрын

do you mean comforting?

@flexibledreamer7846 5 жыл бұрын

I believe what you’ve described is something called “arrested development” People with BPD are “stuck” in the past not usually by choice but because, our needs weren’t met as children (trauma also) and we failed to grow. The ones who were supposed to show us how to grow did not - they did not know or were not there. We are adults on the outside but on the inside we are still a child.

@patrickhanson712 5 жыл бұрын

Not exactly, but I see how you mean that indeed. And yes it gets through when its logical and kind.

@patrickhanson712 5 жыл бұрын

@@flexibledreamer7846 Well said.

@brucewhite9657 5 жыл бұрын

Wow. This has helped me understand my lady a little better. She has been diagnosed with BPD and it has been a roller coaster ride to say the least. We have been together almost 4 yrs now and it is hard to understand someone like that with no idea what to do/say. Thanx Dr. Fox for this info.

@cheyennearchambeault2867 5 жыл бұрын

Youre a good man for trying to understand

@brucewhite9657 5 жыл бұрын

@@cheyennearchambeault2867 to be 100% honest, I had almost gave up a few times, but when you love/care about someone like that, it's a small price to pay to be able to help them and get the love bk in return (the right way). If you are struggling with BPD, I will pray for you. Have a great day... 🤗

@cheyennearchambeault2867 5 жыл бұрын

@@brucewhite9657 i get it. My bf was a heroin addict I spent 4 years trying to show him what potential he had and now hes sober and a great father.

@brucewhite9657 5 жыл бұрын

@@cheyennearchambeault2867 That's so awesome!!!🤘🤘 Good thing you never gave up!! Now your child (ren) will grow up with a dad that's not controlled by other things. My hat is off to you!! 👏 I know it takes a lot to put up with that, but congrats!! 🤗🤗

@wrenkelly3814 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your comment it's appreciated and needed

@jillsalkin7389 2 жыл бұрын

"That missing internal part," really spoke to me. Also, I'm wondering how many people have these extremes.

@joliebaldwin9243 Жыл бұрын

I have experienced all 4 of these relationship types. I recently lost a friend who was my favorite person because of how I treated him. I pushed him away with the constant testing and confirming. I did things that upset him just to see if he still wanted to be my friend. For a while he stood by me, but just a few days ago he told me he can no longer be my support person. I don't blame him. He didn't deserve all the things I put him through. I hurt so badly but I know I need to let go. I need to get healthy so that I can have healthy relationships. I never want to hurt anyone again.

@jaymiller3559 6 жыл бұрын

WOW! I just stumbled on this video..THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for posting this information. This is the FIRST time I've ever seen or heard of a professional in the therapeutic community addressing the issues surrounding the concept of "Favorite Person." Most therapists dismiss this issue and lump it in with other symptoms of the disorder. The fact that you validate this, as something "real," is huge. Not only do you present a valid picture of what having a "favorite person" is like, you give tools to manage it as well. Thank you very very much.

@KatjaNX 6 жыл бұрын

Word! Absolutely amazing and so validating after so many years of feeling "alone" with the issue even in therapeutic environments.

@josephinesipple6956 5 жыл бұрын

Look up “The Mighty “ group. Lots to offer in many areas. Real people stories and professional advice. I’ve learned so much from that one source.

@patrickhanson712 5 жыл бұрын

Completely agree, it is exactly how it works and had not heard the FP angle until here. Should be fundamental knowledge.

@SarahMilton64 5 жыл бұрын

I have suffered from this and have seen others suffer from it. I can reason that this condition is co-morbid with obsessions with celebrities, and stalker syndrome. Also, the sufferer can smother and exhaust the favourite person to the point of making them leave.

@fredericmoresmau4303 5 жыл бұрын

In life you are a hurtful person so i dont interact with you i use mail. But actually i dont want to intetact with anybody i dont see and meet in person normally, so its broken ofg

@kittybutt7 5 жыл бұрын

OMG, I was dating someone with this disorder and the things pointed out here gave me chills. It is VERY hard, but they refused to get help. How do you try to convince someone to get help? It's not only just hard taking the effects from it as a partner, but it's even harder to watch them continuously go through this. It looks very painful, like they are stuck in a room of turmoil and pain in their minds. You can tell it's not really what they want to do or at least not the results they were looking to get after their actions. So afterwards, it's regrets or feel like they're not understood. It's truly hard to watch as a loved one. I just couldn't get him the help since he always refused.

@patrickhanson712 5 жыл бұрын

I was that guy and feel so bad for how I made her feel. Now that Im in treatment I realize so much but it took forever and a lot of burned bridges. I did not understand and neither did she.

@themaggattack 5 жыл бұрын

You can't convince anyone to get help. I've learned that the hard way. If they don't want to get help, you need to save yourself and walk away.

@csillatusan6170 4 жыл бұрын

samili watson I initiated help all by myself. I realized that I need help, all alone. :) I am proud of me..

@tessak2556 4 жыл бұрын

Some people can’t afford it or feel like there’s no use

@poetryfalcon8144 3 жыл бұрын

I listened to a podcast once where they stated that most people who have borderline personality don't recognize or want to acknowledge they have it. Instead of telling a person with BPD to get help for BPD it's best to tell them to get help with normal regulations, such as saying, "Hey, what about a stress management class?" Anything that gets away from this big disorder so that way they don't think they're crazy but instead, they might just need a little help with something that everyone might have a problem with. I have BPD, at least I'm pretty sure of it, and I recognize the need for help. I get my first therapy session in January so looking forward to it. Not everyone is like that, however, but even if they're not, those people need love and understanding just as much.

@yarah28 2 жыл бұрын

This is a huge relief.. to be able to label this kind of relationship and understand why I’m so dependent on them .. wow

@DrDanielFox 2 жыл бұрын

I’m glad that you found the video helpful and I wish you all the best.

@artandscience1 3 ай бұрын

@@DrDanielFoxLOVE all your help Dr Fox ! As a partner i have to add though, that it's not just our mood that can change etc so that the person with BPD starts to devalue us. In my case it's simply when i do something that needs to be done but he percieves it as unfair that i can't be there for him at every existing moment. Clingy. It's not that my mood changes. I know you mention the clingyness somewhere. For me as (empath-)partner, i'd love if there were more videos on how their behavior effects their favourite person, bcs he certainly does not believe me, with all the distortion and the mistrust. They feel on a roller coaster but put US on one. They feel like we are an angel and then demon, but that's then how they treat US. Then that constant stonewalling / silent treatment (internalising??) He really really hurts me, and then stonewalls, instead of an apology! Which is abuse. I never know which character i will be met with, and that's very, very destabilising. I have set boundaries. I don't want to give up on him, but then again i just cannot endure this anymore. It's that flipflopping, but i am burning out beyond anything.

@emilywhittle1420 2 жыл бұрын

With he said “testing and confirming” I was stunned. My entire life (Like even as a little girl; my parents are both diagnosed narcissists) everyones said “you always have to push the boundaries” or “you are always pushing people’s buttons”. I’m not proud of it but to here it said so plainly gave me goosebumps.

@dcdrafts 4 жыл бұрын

being someone’s “favorite person” and molding myself around that role for years and years has destroyed my life and my sense of self. the immense pressure and responsibility that goes with that role, the rollercoaster of being idealized/devalued, building a life and worldview around accommodating her volatile feelings and neuroses- all of these have broken me as a person. I don’t know who I am anymore, to the point where I can’t make even the most basic decisions like what to eat or whether I should stay in school. I don’t trust myself at all anymore because I’ve been gaslighting myself and repressing my own feelings this whole time. I’m not saying this is all the other person’s fault (I was the self-martyring one who sought out a chaotic codependent best friendship and tied myself to it for over half a decade), but I’m tired of the expectation that the bpd sufferer gets to be broken and the people in their lives are just supposed to handle it all without breaking themselves. I’ve loved her so deeply but I also hate her more than anyone in my life. And i can’t find any sources on BPD that would help me work through my feelings about this without demonizing her.

@MariaClara-wd2mz 4 жыл бұрын

dcdrafts I can relate so hard to this

@emmagatewood3898 4 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry about the pain you are going through. I used to be in a similar position. I stayed for a year after the devaluation & push/pull behavior started. It was a very toxic, confusing, painful life. Had I stayed longer, I'm sure I would have ended up feeling the way you do- completely destroyed, & unsure of who I even am anymore... It's been 2 years since then, & my BPD ex & I are officially divorced. My life is hectic & full of challenges- but it is also about 1000 times easier & 1000 times less painful than it was before. I laugh & smile a lot more now. I get to pursue interests that I wasn't "allowed" to pursue before. I don't walk on eggshells on a daily basis anymore. I'm starting to love myself, perhaps for the first time since I was a very young child. I have two pieces of advice for you- 1) Get serious about working on your family of origen issues, & begin the work of re-parenting yourself. Partners of people with BPD tend to have the same types of Mommy/Daddy issues as people with BPD... It's not an easy or quick process, but until we address those issues & heal from them, we are likely to repeat the same dysfunctional relationship patterns over & over again. 2) Take full responsibility for the role you played. You seem to have started to do this already, which is great!! Keep going with it. I'm saying this with love- no one force us to be with or stay with this person after the abuse started. Unless they had us locked in a basement for several years, we could have left at any time.We chose not to. Ask yourself why. Ask yourself what red flags you saw, that you chose to ignore. Ask yourself why you chose to ignore them. A therapist who is knowledgeable about codependency will be invaluable in helping you to work through these issues... I wish you peace & healing on your journey.💜

@dcdrafts 4 жыл бұрын

Emma Gatewood This reply is so kind and generous, thank you. I’m still recovering very slowly from this and trying to figure out the best path, but those are all things that have been important for me on the road to getting better, and it’s really affirming & encouraging to get that advice from someone who’s been through that same codependency struggle. (The “finally pursuing interests that I felt I wasn’t allowed to pursue” bit was a gut punch haha. But I’m getting there, slowly.) Peace & healing to you as well. Thanks for providing this guiding light and hope to a stranger. 💕✨

@kiwisweet5520 5 жыл бұрын

i’ve had the “favorite person” thing for literally my entire life... it was so abnormal i never knew it could have ever been understood. i’m so glad this video exists

@rebamounce8526 3 жыл бұрын

Within the first few minutes of listening I started balling my eyes out. It's scary, and sad to come to the realization that your a lot worse off than you initially thought you were. And that all the things that you thought made you....you turned out to be just a the keylist of symptoms. Making the key contributing factor to your personality a psychological diagnoses. That's what I feel I am. Not a unique individual but a victim of mental health circumstance. I'm now wondering if im gonna be ok. I could really use some advice on how to addicts??deal with the fact that my favorite person and I are both addicts and I have BPD and a psycho somatic facial twitch on top of it. If you could do a video on those kinds of things bbn I'd appreciate it. Thanks

@marishkaclark9311 2 жыл бұрын

A few months ago I experienced something so traumatic for me that I shut down completely. In an instant I went from a state of complete and total mania, to literally switching off. My mind and all of my emotions completely shut down in a split second. For the next couple of months I remained totally emotionless towards anything and everything no matter who was involved or the severity of the situation, until more recently when I learned how to turn it on or off. Not feeling anything at all has been the first time in my life that I've felt like a normal person, and now I'm able to pick and choose when to allow emotion in and when to shut it out, which happens to be about 90 percent of the time. I have also for the first time in my life isolated myself almost completely to the point of ignoring calls and messages from family members and even the one close friend that I do have, and not feeling any emotion about it. The only time I can't control my emotions is when it comes to my favorite person, who can easily make or break my day. I've tried turning off my emotions towards him but I just can't because I care about him too much. I've tried regulating my emotions but I have no control at all. The worst, most complicated, and scary thing about this is that the more I learn about BPD the more I'm beginning to think my favorite person has it too.

@ALGARIC 5 ай бұрын

Maybe you’re just projecting?

@laocoste4966 6 жыл бұрын

Wow. I have done this. I noticed I didn't do this when I got my dog. It's felt like I didn't need anyone else but her. Kept me grounded, stable, loved and understood. Cause I knew no matter what, she will always love me. Made me feel safe and when we were out focus was mainly on her not me. I don't know where I would be today if it wasn't for her.

@doreenplischke7645 5 жыл бұрын

Lao Coste yes. So true...

@christinemayer327 5 жыл бұрын

Me too.

@hungerstrike4557 4 жыл бұрын

Was in a relationship with a fellow BPD struggler. She was my favourite person, i was her favourite person. Now I'm the worst person to her, completely devalued. The cycle is vicious my friends.

@hillaryconsultingservices 2 жыл бұрын

I ithought two BPD in therapy might have the empathy for each other. I guess each situation and response to therapy is different.

@SarahElise-so3sy 11 ай бұрын

Strange.. I remember what it felt like when I was a child. Anyone ever remember those days when you're so young and the world was just full of awe, and nothing else mattered. It's a feeling of self comfort, where it didn't matter what happened around you because you're so grounded within yourself. A feeling that everything is okay. You're able to think critically and still feel at peace. One step at a time

@inmed8721 2 жыл бұрын

I like his not judgmental approach, I’ve seen other professionals talking about BPD or traits, from surrounding people point of view and how hard it’s to live with a person with BPD , when other people usually know how to find their way out if need to... and the real person suffering is the one with BPD

@coralmore3568 5 жыл бұрын

I was so apprehensive of clicking on this because of the horrible stigmatizing videos on KZfaq about BPD but you did such an amazing compassionate job and thank you so so much

@stompthedragon4010 4 жыл бұрын

Imagine being a parent of someone w BPD. Fingers always pointed at the parents.

@Vxjx15 4 жыл бұрын

Stomp the Dragon Makes sense given that bpd often comes from childhood trauma and abuse by caregivers...

@cherrycola6736 3 жыл бұрын

@BB80Delta Not all people with bpd are abusers. It kind of seems like you're the one who needs to get a grip if you're so quick to overgeneralize.

@DC10418 5 жыл бұрын

Wow. You just completely summed up my relationship with my beloved BPD daughter. I didn’t know there was an actual name for it, but I see now that I am indeed her “favorite person” of the roller coaster type. I do everything I can to love and support my daughter, and this video is invaluable in my effort to help both of us. Thank you from the bottom of this mother’s heart.

@DrDanielFox 5 жыл бұрын

I am so glad it's helpful.

@sharynmathis8712 4 жыл бұрын

I didnt realise this was a thing until now. But my mother was my Favorite Person. She passed away and I'm struggling. She loved me so much and was a beautiful woman.

@sharynmathis8712 4 жыл бұрын

I love her too! And that's big for me. I didnt love anyone else until I had children and my fiancee.

@jenbodhi1133 2 жыл бұрын

My mom was my favourite person too, and she died recently. It was like my entire soul was shattered

@Gh0stChili 2 жыл бұрын

Oh my... I think I'm someone's favorite person... I've known the person for so long but over the years I've noticed something off. I'm usually always supportive of him, and am too patient to confront anything harmless so I usually don't react when I probably should. Just recently we got into a blow out because I think he put me through one of these "tests", the whole situation seemed really wrong and manipulative, I went from feeling scared to angry (rightfully so) to suddenly feeling like I was the one who did something wrong but I put my foot down and currently we're not on speaking terms. I know it won't last forever and our friendship will be back to normal in time, but this all really makes alot of sense as to what's going on with him. I genuinely enjoy talking with him, when he's in his good moments, but I hate when I'm put in therapist mode. He gets pretty pissy and emotionally manipulative if I'm not there for him or reacting in a way he wants me to.

@calebwilson3817 2 жыл бұрын

Not many people are saying this, but if it keeps affecting your mental health like youve described RUN. LEAVE. If you're not able to set a healthy dynamic and boundaries, you need to GET OUT of there asap!!!

@Gh0stChili 2 жыл бұрын

@@calebwilson3817 we live in 2 different states and I know when he's acting up and being weird, I distance myself and talk to him less when gets like this.. The thing is he's always been somewhat compulsive with lying and that's usually what I ignore, it doesn't effect me personally. We both have our own mental health issues mine is anxiety and depression that I'm getting professional help for and his.... well he's never actually told me his diagnosis other than how depressed he gets. I've always urged him to seek professional help when he gets to his low points. One day he started casually mentioning he goes to therapy and takes meds. I'm starting to think this is another one of his lies but I have no proof. He just doesn't seem at all like he's getting help. My mother is a therapist and she told me it sounds like he has bpd so I've been looking into it and yeah it really sounds exactly like him. No worries though I've always taken note of how people act and am very aware when they're being passive or manipulative. And I definitely notice it with him every time. Its just this "test" was really out there like nothing he's ever done before. And he got mad I didn't dedicate my whole day to bugging him about it. When I confronted him on how messed up and manipulative what he had done was he blew up. He can not stand to be confronted or called out. We're not talking currently, and I don't think I could ever hate him, but it's definitely going to cause more distance because his actions are getting straight up toxic.

@MariaClara-wd2mz 4 жыл бұрын

I was someone's favorite person until it took all my strength and I couldn’t handle anymore. I suffer from anxiety and depression. I have my own burden to take care and for so long I felt like I should take care of hers too. It was too intense for me. I miss her everyday but I don’t think I can stand by her side anymore. I don’t know if I’m a bad person I just wish I knew how to handle this

@superdoofus 2 жыл бұрын

it doesn't make you a bad person; the truth is, as someone struggling with these symptoms, we can be inconsolable with an average, untrained person. the best you can do is keep an open mind and have lots of empathy with lots of research. i appreciate the wording of your comment because a lot of people with these experiences immediately jump to "ohhhh those EVIL borderlines wreaking havoc!" of course, mental illness never excuses toxic behavior, but many also fail to realize it *explains* certain behaviors. some people are genuinely shitty, mentally ill or not. but plenty of people, mentally ill or not, aren't bad people, and are capable of getting better with the right resources and motivation. i sympathize with u and you're not obligated to fix anyone.

@jeffreyquinonez8964 Жыл бұрын

@@superdoofus i struggle not to be shitty to ppl with my mentall illnesses possibly bpd. and the last thing i want to do is hurt anyone. whatever dumb shit that pops up in my head i try to be calm about it even while my emotions are blowing up like a volcano. breathe meditate observing my thoughts etc. im not gonna let ppl close to me take the brunt of my disease. it is my burdern to deal with and manage and eventually heal. i simply remain as i am and let my thoughts and intense emotions subside.

@bijpls4059 Жыл бұрын

@@superdoofus this🥺

@seanfields2576 4 жыл бұрын

"I hope you have a great day" well I just googled bpd because i have a lot of the symptoms and it's kinda ruining my life but I'll try

@stratavosstuff7575 4 жыл бұрын

the realization is rough, and if you're lucky there's no comorbids.

@keroki932 4 жыл бұрын

Doesnt have to ruin your life. It might be difficult, but bpds are also incredible amazing personalities

@Pughausen 3 жыл бұрын

An ex showing me this a couple of years ago helped lead me to my diagnosis and now, a year and a half into DBT, significant improvement in my stability and mental health. Thank you.

@matthewanderson5615 2 жыл бұрын

I had a friend diagnosed BPD and after every failed romantic relationship (there were dozens) she would always go back to her favorite person until she painted him black. Although she’s been out of my life for years and she is now married, I have no doubt she still keeps her favorite person in the loop.

@jessyjulie5506 4 жыл бұрын

I'm glad I know when I'm devaluing my favorite person, so I can stop. I get so ashamed when I get mad for no reason.

@b0ssc581 4 жыл бұрын

Just been diagnosed , I’m trying to improve myself for my boyfriend who’s accepting me still for who I am .

@judypittam1694 8 ай бұрын

I called my ex husband the barometer of my happiness but my behaviour & the roller coaster our lives were, eventually fizzled out after 27 years. I am still devastated.

@LuckyRich15 6 ай бұрын

I ran off my favorite person :( AGAIN, and this time I was prepared knowing I would and I ended up doing it anyway and couldn't stop myself.

@kixieschiano2089 4 жыл бұрын

I just cried as soon as I heard the term favourite person along with the explanation of the different relationships.I've always had these sort of relationships with people for as long as I can remember, but I'm close to becoming an adult (I'm 17) and it's starting to get too intense and unhealthy for me to cope with.I felt so understood thanks to this and now I can finally know how to make things easier. Thank you so much.

@leishlamariecolon4148 2 жыл бұрын

you are still young love and i'm glad you had the chance to learn how to cope better with this earlier on. I'm just now realizing these traits and was diagnosed at 27. i'll be 30 in january and still trying to figure out how to make this work or live with it. be patient with yourself though. sending love and positivity your way.

@alyssiasavage6115 2 жыл бұрын

@@leishlamariecolon4148 better 27 than 28. i'm so glad u were diagnosed and good luck on ur journey❤️

@antler9927 2 жыл бұрын

I got into a mental and physical relationship with someone I was dependant on at 14. My mom thought it was okay but my ex would manipulate me and gaslight, aswell as blackmail me and tell me she would kill my animals if I left her. When homophobia came into the picture because of her newfound religion she left me. My mom is my other "favorite person" but I hate to be demanding. I think I might just end it when I turn eighteen and disappear. I don't know what else to do because changing is more painful than a peaceful death at this point

@athira400 2 жыл бұрын

I'm 17 now. I always had a kind of particular tendency in giving one person a special place in my life. Though I had lot friends in school, I saw myself swinging towards someone other than all. Things were quite easy at that time. But it's all changing. I'm getting emotionally unstable as each day pass by. My previous fp had no idea about my BPD stuffs neither do I. I left my contact with her when I realized things are getting itchy for her. I used to spend a whole day sniffing and Sonni over her thoughts. By leaving her, I thought my life would get normal as before. It was hard without her, it took me almost 3 months of no contact at all to get over her. But....at that same time, my mind drifted to other person who is my current fp. I was hoping for things to get normal but I'm again drowning in this same Bpd ocean. Life's getting to tough as each day pass. Now that I get to know about BPD and FP related stuffs my mind is more peaceful than before. But it won't cure any of my pain. Wonder when things will get alright. I miss the young self of mine.

@danniwendleton6682 2 жыл бұрын

Omg I’m 17 and was just diagnosed and am feeling so many intense things rn. Can I ask are you like absolutely terrified of what it’s like after high school or is it something not related to the bpd. I’m so scared to be an adult, I just cry all day everyday sometimes I feel like, my eyes just always leak.

@rebeccaj34 5 жыл бұрын

I actually found myself getting aggravated when you spoke about the rollercoaster, realized what was happening, and made that thought process stop. I've gotten better with some of the criteria. I've gone through DBT and am continuing to do so. That being said, I still do that on a pedestal/under the bus thing. I'm trying to break it. I had a pretty close friend that I had an unstable attachment with. I finally got so hurt (there's a lot there, she broke my trust in an extreme way - my therapist confirmed I'm actually not overreacting here) that I cut her completely off. I've been happier since throwing her under the bus. I have a best friend that I consider to be "my person" (Grey's Anatomy, anyone?). The attachment is secure, both ways. I don't do the push & pull with her or bounce between the extremes. I don't question that relationship regardless of what happens. I've never had that up to this point. She's proven to me over and over (without me testing it) that she's not going anywhere. I've noticed that if the attachment formed with someone is secure from the start, I tend to not have those indicators with them. I don't feel the need to make sure they're safe. There are very few I feel securely attached to. I'm a work in progress. To those struggling, I promise you, you can experience reversal of this disorder. DBT - mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance & interpersonal relationships modulars does help. It works. I met all 9 criteria at one point, now I meet 4 (intense fear of abandonment/rejection, dissociation, anger (addressing this heavily), and the up on a pedestal/under the bus extremes). It can be reversed. 💙

@doreenplischke7645 5 жыл бұрын

Rebecca J very insightful when you distinct btw the different attachment styles. It totally resonates. I think in comparison to others we do vary in our attachment styles. Now...I observed that most others do have one way of attaching to others, regardless of what kind of rs they have ( intimate, social familiar...) I do have intermittently different ones with different ppl...🤷🏻‍♀️often depending on what style the other person’s style is I tend to carry out that way, not my way. My way is diffuse, no clear one way of attachment. With my best friend I developed a secure attachment over years and years. In my social environment I have an overall secure attachment style as well. ( maintain healthy boundaries and mindful about common understanding of acquaintanceship and it’s expected behavior.) Only when it comes to intimate relationships do I tend to always somehow end up with either avoidant or insecure ways to attach. I was married to a classic covert NPD My mom was NPD/BPD my father was an addict. I understand the profound connection btw early development and how I form relationships of any kind. Thanks for your contribution. It really resonated a lot with me. Would be awesome if Doc Fox could go into explaining it to all of us even more detailed.;)

@mydee28 4 жыл бұрын

I’m sitting here reading like wow some people really go through the exact same thing. You just wrote my feelings and things I’ve been through literally and your just Gave me hope thank you god bless you

@flecha213 4 жыл бұрын

Mydee B I randomly saw this video and just realized KZfaq diagnosed me with BPD

@hino3694 18 күн бұрын

i’ve had a favorite person for about 6 years and it ended last year and only this year i found out i have bpd and i realized that she wasn’t only my best friend but my favorite person and i think knowing that before it ended it may have ended differently… i still think about her everyday but i came to a point of being able to not reach out anymore and not obsessively think about her.. i have no idea what’s she’s doing now and how she is but i know that i will never feel like i did for her for anyone else and it makes me sad for future relationships.. i was always there for her willing to do anything and everything and she abandoned me as soon as she got in a relationship.. it was hard for me knowing a person i would do anything for would trade me just like that for someone she barely knew… i hope i one day get to tell her how that affected me and that i will never let her do that do me again because i will not let her back in my life because i didn’t deserve to be treated like that, with diagnosed mental illness or not.

@catherinedunne1799 2 жыл бұрын

Holy wow. I clicked this because my family's covert narc, (a lovely fellow who just wants to take up residence and not get a job... Uhh... )He just showed up on my doorstep and said i was his "favorite person" and im so glad ive been listening to you dr.s all year. The first words that flew out of my mouth were "i have no intention of being your favorite person." Boundary stated.

@sarahnovamusicatlanta 5 жыл бұрын

My favorite person was a selfish person but it has made me look at my Bpd more closely . Quiet borderline here

@patrickhanson712 5 жыл бұрын

Similar

@burritomaker69 4 жыл бұрын

It’s all too easy for someone with BPD to say this. By nature most BPD people are narcissistic and by nature selfish. Perhaps try looking at your narrative again and you might possibly realize that the other person is just loving themselves and not being selfish.

@TheTigronette 4 жыл бұрын

@@burritomaker69 narcissism is something else entirely. We are self-obsessed rather than selfish, we are in fact obsessed by the fact that we are selfless which is a huge part of the problem. Get educated.

@saraH-yu1mx 4 жыл бұрын

Max Power This is so incorrect. People with BPD are not selfish by nature. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. People with BPD are often attracted to people with NPD or have narcissistic relationships/parents(opposite sides of the coin). So what this woman is saying, is most likely correct.

@juanmiguelreyesguerr 4 жыл бұрын

Everyone is selfish for a BPD

@henrikmichael1875 4 жыл бұрын

I do all of these thing when Im in love with someone or really like someone. However, I act very normal around most of my friends, family. When Im around my "favorite person" I almost get blackout rages, self'sabotage, splitting, intense sadness to the point where I use substances, intense happiness , I have compulsive thoughts about who I am and If Im good or bad, I have body dysmorphia and a lot of self-hatred. Does this sound like borderline? I would say Im quite normal and high functioning when Im not in a relationship or seeing someone. Im not very impulsive..more controlling of my behaviour and I don't really do stupid shit that get's me in trouble.

@parkermatherly1051 4 жыл бұрын

I thoroughly relate to this.. I have diagnosed bpd

@avalancheKT 4 жыл бұрын

Yes same. Before I had therapy I would be a totally different person to absolutely everyone but my partner/favourite person. I would be screaming and self harming in front of my favourite person but should someone call me or turn up at my door I would immediately compose myself in an instant and it was dissociative. I'd be totally normal. One day I had spent the day trying to commit suicide over and over, being chased by police, discarded by the county head psychiatrist only to be caught by police again and eventually they took me to a mental hospital under a section. However, when I got there is completely calmed down and changed into a normal person again, so they let me go. Another therapist diagnosed DID while I already had a diagnosis of BPD. I started to think I was NPD or something really evil. Thankfully that is all in the past. I don't dissociate anymore and I've slowly started letting down my mask to others which means I'm the same with everybody to a point

@lindiwezulu2229 3 жыл бұрын

I hate the fact that I relate completely to this

@ameliap0ndd 3 жыл бұрын

@@avalancheKT dude i thought I was the only one that did stuff like that that is so relieving. I genuinely thought I just had bad social anxiety or something but it makes so much more sense now. Thanks for sharing

@trevsedgwick3324 3 жыл бұрын

@clorby22 2 жыл бұрын

I am not officially diagnosed with BPD but I’ve had my suspicions and this confirms them even more. Holy shit. I might actually need to speak to a doctor

@marishkaclark9311 2 жыл бұрын

This video makes me so emotionally overwhelmed because here we have in my opinion the best possible doctor for people with BPD who is clear minded, intelligent, informed, calm, and compassionate, and you make these videos for no personal gain whatsoever. You make these videos because you genuinely care about us. I've never had a close relationship with either of my parents, and somehow watching your videos (as silly as it sounds) it feels like you're talking to just me as that loving and encouraging parent that I have never had. Watching your videos has opened my eyes and given me clarity for myself and my very own favorite person that I never thought I would get. I trust you and fully intend on taking your advice and trying these strategies, which is saying something for me because any other time I genuinely would not believe that the things other people suggest I do would actually work. Thank you so much for existing and for what you do for us.

@missfrizzle582 4 жыл бұрын

I also always have a “thing.” I wonder if that’s a part of it. Do any of y’all relate? For example, for awhile, I was making all kinds of crap out of duct tape. Then I started crocheting stuff for people. Then I took up Yoyoing and got really good at that. They come in spurts but it’s very similar to the favorite person.

@jorgegordillo791 4 жыл бұрын

I got you. Sewing, drawing, chess, grafiti, cinema, violin... Damn, and they were the whole world to me. I wanted to do that forever, and show it to everyone. The thing is that it never lasted more than 3 or 4 months, before i went to the next thing. I'm working on that, because literature is something i love, and i wouldn't want it to fade like the others. It is curious how in the periods when i'm well with my favorite person i barely do anything, i don't have a "thing" going on.

@SydneyLedgerAuthor 3 жыл бұрын

@@jorgegordillo791 this sounds exactly like me... different "things" for me like art, graphics, writing, different creative projects... all last a couple months and once im with that favourite person everything is on hold and i hate it. I want to balance. And as i typed the word balance, he said balance in the video. Aiii

@jadejade9382 3 жыл бұрын

I saw this a lot when I was younger especially. Like books series or TV shows, I remember I read Percy Jackson and only Percy Jackson everyday for like 6 months I would read it with no lights on and I wouldn’t move for the whole day not even to eat or use the bathroom. Then there was Avatar the last air bender when it first came on Netflix back in 2013. I would literally only watch that for hours and hours and wouldn’t even move. I was so absorbed in these things I only wanted to watch or experience them. Same with writing or drawing, I was convinced that I was going to make an entire clothing line had everything set up and one day I just didn’t want to anymore. It’s weird being so wholly invested in things and then just not, and not because you don’t want to but like I don’t know for me it’s like I can’t get into it the same for some reason.

@SarahDale111 3 жыл бұрын

@@jadejade9382 I play guitar and crochet, and I've realized in the past couple years that I am autistic and that I use these repetitive, rhythmic actions as stims to keep myself calm and to regulate my emotions. One time I played guitar for so long that I injured my thumb. I can be so absorbed in an activity that I don't realize I'm doing damage. It happened again recently...reinjured my thumb...and now I can't crochet or play guitar. What a nightmare! But it has made me realize how not ok I am in my current living situation, so I am attempting to move out. (Also a nightmare, but the only way out is through.) Funny how things go.

@shonahtb 3 жыл бұрын

Is this a BPD thing!? I also have ADHD so I always thought it was that, but didn't realize it could be a part of BPD

@amberlynnroy1641 4 жыл бұрын

I was diagnosed with traits of BPD, and every day I fight with this sh*t storm inside my head. It is exhausting... So I can only imagine just how exhausting it must be for my favorite person, and it makes me feel even worse. It's a terrible cycle, and I hate it.

@_tellavision 11 ай бұрын

Pain

@TJSPLACE Жыл бұрын

I already lost my favorite person due to BPD. This was prior to diagnosis. So now I’m empty&lost. Life is great

@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын

I don’t encourage you to explore this and see what are some of those issues of tendencies that tend to make it difficult to connect to others and foster healthy relationships. I wish you all the best.

@janinemakey5186 Жыл бұрын

From my experience as a bpd person is we hate to share our favorite person with anybody

@camarorules1 5 жыл бұрын

My fav person was a sister, the only family member growing up that let me sleep with her when I was scared at night starting at a very young age. She decided to ghost me with no explanation other than cutting me down. I was devastated. It seems like she un-loved me. I dont understand

@DrDanielFox 5 жыл бұрын

I can only imagine the confusion and pain and I'm sorry you experience this. I wish you well.

@eekahyager9449 4 жыл бұрын

I've lost my favorite person due to testing and confirming mainly. I have went so long not understanding my own personality disorder. It wasn't until I began watching your videos that I truly began to comprehend what has been going on within myself the entire time.

@SantiHavoc 2 жыл бұрын

I’ve recently had a realization talking to a close friend, that I tend to absorb my partners energy. It’s natural, I just naturally merge with the other. My heart WANTS to merge. Maybe it’s the BPD talking, but my love fantasy consists of having energies merged and one day...maybe one day it’ll be exactly the way my heart yearns for

@artandscience1 3 ай бұрын

My BPD-partner did that i the symbiosis phase, before devaluing me. I felt like my whole energy got sucked out of me! He was an energy-vampire. I was so exhausted so i needed to distance. Pls consider the persons energy before you give in to that urge to merge! ❤

@kyon-kyon- 3 жыл бұрын

some guy traumatized me badly when i was a teen, and now i’ve grown up and turned into this. i’m ruining my every relationship with my insecurities, rage and fears. right now i’m on a spree watching these videos because i didn’t like the tone my boyfriend had speaking to a coworker of his. it may be my bpd acting up or not who knows. who knows anything. i never even knew myself. it’s like you know you have an illness, but everything the illness makes you think makes too much sense.

@jesswood638 6 жыл бұрын

...... and I just found my new favorite person! I need to move to Texas!

@themaggattack 5 жыл бұрын

Haha! Uh-oh.

@SoulDelSol 5 жыл бұрын

Run doc

@Penguinstudios123 5 жыл бұрын

Jess Wood rebecca bunch is that you 😹

@ineedhoez 4 жыл бұрын

Lmaooooooo!!! 😂😂😂

@xosruxor 5 жыл бұрын

My favorite person is my ex-boyfriend, we have a lot going on and when he ignores me I assume he has passed away and I panic

@daisymargo5385 3 жыл бұрын

My favourite person was someone who just wanted me for sex, and than telling me lots of other shits and blaming me for everything while he was dating other girl, and than he just through me like a piss of shit.

@lunaqui4128 3 жыл бұрын

Same

@pukeyourguts 2 жыл бұрын

been there

@hum3911 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, it’s always jumping to conclusions like that? And then you get super depressed and stuff. God this sucks-

@orewaguda 19 күн бұрын

It has never been so precise to describe my feelings towards the person I deeply relied on two years ago. I used to tell him all the time that he was so special to me, and I was afraid of losing him. But I just can’t explain why I find safety in him. And I didn’t know the concept of favorite person yet. Through this video, I am now able to classify and explain my behavior more clearly. Another thing that I appreciate is that you used four categories to identify different behaviors of BPD towards a favorite person, which made the explanation more complete. I was not my favorite person’s lover from the very beginning to the end, which always confused me about being classified as having BPD because I used to think that this definition should be used in a romantic relationship. Thank you very much. I almost cried listening to this. I felt like I am wiser and more capable of controlling my own life. Thank you!

@dhruvvikram4457 2 жыл бұрын

For years I have been stuck with this pattern without knowing any clue of what bpd was. I just realised it 2 years back. And I'm really great ful for that. I have been working on myself ever since the time I found out. The worst part is I moved away from my favourite person who is my best friend so that she does not have to put up with me anymore. And the best part is Im making things easier for myself and I'm getting attached with people but with boundaries. I have no favourite person as such now. And it's better this way. And the saddest part is throught the journey of this struggle I thought others were toxic, but I realised that I was actually the toxic one. But day by day Im getting better and feeling better. And a huge thanks to this channel! For the enlightenment regarding bpd it was a huge mind opener

@earthavi 4 жыл бұрын

“variability of another human being” is such a perfect term to go along with having an fp.

@xxx-su2ty 5 жыл бұрын

I cant afford therapy right now, but having you educate me on my own illness helps tremendously. Thank you so much, I needed this.

@DrDanielFox 5 жыл бұрын

+Yas B you’re very welcome. Thank you for your kind words.

@levisaidmyname Жыл бұрын

That *“favorite person”* 💀💀 god that terming gave me such clarity.. Love how he drilled that in.. It’s very cute, but for people with BPD... “Favorite person” is a bit more sinister too because that’s the person who we eventually overwhelm and wind up abandoning us.. When I feel someone becoming my “favorite person”... it’s so cute but at the same time 💀💀 I’m like “god I’m sorry.. This is gonna be more baggage then you were ordering.”

@jasonloya9705 2 жыл бұрын

New to all of this. My wife is my favorite person. God bless her. I'm heartbroken for what I do to her mentally.

@frankievalentine6112 4 жыл бұрын

I think there was something important missing from this, which is what's driving the attachment in the first place- there's a lot of positive emotions that make these folks like someone so intensely.

@tessjones5987 5 жыл бұрын

I am 67 my brother would have been 68. I now know we were both BDP. I use to say he was either getting mad , getting in trouble or getting hurt . I was anxious and had explosive rage. We both were extreme workaholics. He stayed a binge alcoholic, He dove down 200 feet in a sea cave and came back as fast as possilble - he died of the bends at 51.He choose that. I feel pretty done too. We are both RH negative and co-dependent and this life is hard for us. I studied Mental Health thru Self-will trainging - D. Lowe. It helped. I just was not ever able to be profiecent and my explosibe reation to anxious intensity is still not that manageable so I isolate. Your techniques are a God Send. I am working at them. Thank you so much.

@joannaedssay5988 5 жыл бұрын

I have BPD and I am Rh negative too. I also severely isolate myself too, I can actually go weeks and weeks without seeing or speaking to anyone at all, going outside only when i need to buy food for my two cats. I am so sorry you lost your brother

@filippians413 4 жыл бұрын

Wait, he chose to get the Bends?

@Kinkycurli3__ 2 жыл бұрын

I struggle with this in my romantic relationships. I’ve been learning to regulate my emotions but it’s so difficult to “unlearn” a behavior you’ve done your whole life.

@kittysparkleeyes 3 жыл бұрын

All my life I have had a favorite person and very intense relationships that ended in tears when I felt the person had betrayed or let me down. I went from absolute devotion and admiration to intense dislike and never speaking to them again. Its a pattern. My current special person has bpd traits and I started watching because of him. I now think my introversión has masked my own bpd all my life. This explains everything. :/

@ALGARIC 5 ай бұрын

How is the relationship of two pwBPD?

@amandad5379 5 жыл бұрын

thank you so much for this video!! im a recovering borderline and seeing empathetic, yet rational doctors discussing my illness in a respectful way gives me hope that i can succeed in my recovery

@hanagraham7376 5 жыл бұрын

I’m very much looking forward to your borderline personality disorder workbook!!!

@DrDanielFox 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you. I really think it is going to help a lot of people.

@hanagraham7376 5 жыл бұрын

Dr. Daniel Fox when will it be released?

@1985bjaycat 5 жыл бұрын

@@hanagraham7376 there's a link to advance order. I was going to but then got hung up when I forgot my password. I'll go back though when I have the mental stamina to do that. I think it's an Amazon purchase. You'll see a link to his website and then you can click on the pre-order. I'm going to show this channel to my therapist in case it might help some of his clients.

@suzanahas4740 6 күн бұрын

I just listened to Prof. Sam Vankin talking about BPD and the discrepancy btw your attitude and the way you’re teaching people about this mental disorder is so utterly human and full of understanding and encouragement, whereas Vankin’s is like he speaks in a way which sounds to me Machiavellic.

@aurorasksk 2 жыл бұрын

I cried at 11:10 when he said we can do it. I’ve been trying to get over a breakup with my FP for over a month now and have been having more than 8 episodes a day, just crying constantly thinking about them. When it gets this bad it’s really easy to lose hope and feel like you’re stuck in that hole for good and you’ll never be able to find your way out of it. From now on when I feel like texting my FP I’ll watch this video. You have given me the courage to not give up on myself or my goal of finally taking control of my BPD and emotions. Thank you so much.