Fi’s Fight Back - appointment day and update 🌈

Рет қаралды 7,267

2 жыл бұрын

Oh gosh I was so tired filming this! I mean… there was a blooper and I even mispronounced blooper 😂)
Very much the aftermath of a long previous week.
My parents had been away for 4 days (Thursday til Sunday, not Friday like my tired self said in the vid 😫), plus assessment and appointments just meant I was very very tired.
Anywho, we did okay. In fact, I took it upon myself to increase my meal plan. It was more of a mental block around numbers that I had, so it was important to do.
There are more videos on their way, since this video quite a lot has changed. All to come!
Thankyou again for being patient with me, and always supportive ❤️
#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #dayinthelife #eatingdisorderrecovery #inpatient #recovery #recoveryispossible #autism #autismawareness #actuallyautistic

Пікірлер: 112

@BuinidhMoChridheDoAlba 2 жыл бұрын

We're all so proud of you Fi. You had an overwhelming week, most of it on your own, and you managed! Don't beat yourself up over having a panic over lunch, you still had it. Struggle is ok, it's the keeping at it and not letting it beat you that matters. A victory is a victory, small or big. Although every victory is big in my opinion, people don't give themselves enough credit, including you! You've got this Fi, we all believe in you 1,000,000%

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Thankyou so much Tasha. You’re so right. I know I need to keep on taking it one step at a time. Thankyou so much for being so kind and being there ❤️❤️❤️

@cazlovescakes 2 жыл бұрын

Couldn’t agree more. Even the “smallest” victories can be SO significant in recovery.

@isabelmariamendezrochaorop3374 2 жыл бұрын

You are loved and supported by this community, Fi.

@emilybilbow4990 2 жыл бұрын

Every time I watch a post of yours you have a brighter smile and greater sparkle!!! Emotional stress takes a toll physically… you may not realize how much of a strain it is on your body… allow yourself to rest… and give yourself the fuel you need to fight!

@annabellenoblepi6684 2 жыл бұрын

I love how you finish each day with a quote, they always hit the spot and i love them 💕

@lisanancoff3462 2 жыл бұрын

You are doing great ! You have come so far ! Great job Fi !!

@patriciasheridan7 2 жыл бұрын

More smiles than ever, good progress! Being alone for 4 days was challenging but accomplished. And you looked so pretty in that dress! Sorry you had a bit of a hard time at the end, panicking about meals. I must say, however, best growth video yet. 💕

@sheenaaikins4939 2 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who noticed all the smiles lately :)

@karendickerson3912 2 жыл бұрын

I'm so proud of you!!

@georgielacey3929 2 жыл бұрын

So proud of you Fi !!..its so hard but you are doing such an amazing job, its ok to struggle but in the end you will smash this. You look beautiful in that red dress!!! . 💕

@kaystokes9118 2 жыл бұрын

Wanted to thank you for intruducing me to humus and brioche. I'm loving it! I think you are amazing and so appreciate seeing your journey x

@daniellezaaiman680 2 жыл бұрын

You're such an inspiration! You got this! Keep going ❤️

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Aww thankyou Danielle! xxx

@donnalewis6323 2 жыл бұрын

Hiya sweetheart so lovely to see you!! You’re intitled to a blip in the road but you kept going and got through it!! Much love sweetheart always xoxox

@joannatarbit391 2 жыл бұрын

Fi you are absolutely incredible. I have so much respect for your honestly, strength and courage…also loving the protein bar ratings. 😁 I have been on a meal plan since I first had anorexia and it is the only thing that works for me. I know I could not mentally handle the all in approach. We are all individuals and as you say, whatever works for you is right for you! I am in awe of your progress - keep going. You’re going to be free and you will look back and it will have been worth every panic attack and every tear. 🤗🤗🤗

@lorenspath6538 2 жыл бұрын

Hi Fi! I love your dress! Its so pretty. You look so happy, And Im so happy with the fact you will soon be getting out of your wheel chair. That must be so exciting! Keep up the good work, you are so helpful to me reminding me that Im not alone with feeling scared of food, and feeling upset with what I eat, and not knowing if i should or shouldnt have it. Its so tiring. Im real proud of you and admire you so much! Love,Loren

@rebin077175 2 жыл бұрын

It’s so nice to see your genuine smile more and more. Try not to be so hard on yourself too though. It’s only natural to have a wobble here and there, and I think they often happen when you are tired. I suffer with anxiety and really relate to your struggles. You really spur me on though, you are so strong and brave and have come such a long way. I don’t know you but you make me feel proud every time you power through! You are doing amazingly, you have a great support network and such love surrounding you and cheering you on 🥰

@chargergirl0503 2 жыл бұрын

You can do hard things. And you’re doing the hard things. Soo proud of how far you’ve come!❤️❤️

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Thankyou so much Kristin! xxx

@gwenvann7279 2 жыл бұрын

You are doing so good. One day at a time and you’ll get there!

@fancyanna330 2 жыл бұрын

Being exhausted after a busy week is expected. You crushed it ❤️ I'm happy to see you smiling more and generally happier. Great progress!

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Oh Anna! Thankyou so much my love. This means alot to me xxx

@glynis7970 2 жыл бұрын

Well I think you’ve been flippin amazing! You have stood up to the voice,managed on your own,not let the panic attacks throws you off course…phew! That’s strength right there. 💐

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Aww my love! Thankyou so much! I needed to read this

@andreag9913 2 жыл бұрын

If I genuinely enjoy your videos and am always rooting for you. You are doing amazing, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are getting there.

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Thankyou so much Andrea! This means an awful lot to me❤️❤️❤️

@hannavandenheuvel6963 2 жыл бұрын

Ahh so so proud of you for increasng your mealplan fi and picking yourself up after a wobble! Recognizing disordered thoughts is so hard but you blooming did it!!! And ahhhrrg the panicky stage is the worst isnt it because your brain just starts to play mental pingpong going back and forth. But you did it all, you absolute star. And ahw your little blip blooper moment, bless you

@sar12389 2 жыл бұрын

Well said fi, recovery is recovery- as long as you recover it doesnt matter what way or method you get there with as long as make it there. Do what suits you! Another great video,thank you.

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Thankyou so much love! I agree - it'll look different for everyone. At the end of the day, you need to do what is best for you. Thankyou for being so understanding and supportive

@allisonhamilton1245 2 жыл бұрын

You are doing so well. Acknowledging what is working is so wonderful. Keep making the next right thing ❤️ Day two...as someone with depression/anxiety I completely understand the rational vs irrational thinking struggle. You have helped me remember to just keep going. You do make a difference.

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Thankyou so much Allison. Just got to keep doing the next right thing. Thankyou for being so kind and understanding

@rebeccamarshall3157 2 жыл бұрын

We all have wobbles and worry about things we think we should be okay with, if that's food, doing an activity or something else it's totally normal! Try not to beat yourself up about it! Be as kind to yourself as you would be seeing someone else in that situation. As long as you can go to bed each night knowing you tried your best then there is nothing more that anyone can or should ask of you! Be proud of your achievements so far and don't put pressure on yourself to be somewhere you aren't ready to be yet, it will all come in time and you will appreciate it all the more when you get there. Life is a journey, we need to enjoy the ride as well as the destination

@susannahdouch7275 2 жыл бұрын

You did so amazingly well. Despite the worries and panics you kept going and fought through which just shows how strong you are. 👍🏻👏👍🏻👏

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Thankyou so much Susannah! This means a lot to me xxx

@mistyswiftie13 2 жыл бұрын

your eyes just twinkle with fi whilst you talk about getting out of the chair, your doing so well xx 🌱🦋

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

@harmonyhope1709 2 жыл бұрын

I also do agree that the "all in" method of recovery isn't the only way to recover. I personally can't do "all in" but I am still doing recovery in my own way. It is such an individual thing and recovery is definitely not one size fits all!!! It can make you feel like a failure if you can't do "all in" or that you're doing recovery wrong. As long as we all get to where we need to.... You do you boo 💕 Well done for deciding to increase your meal plan 💪❤️

@michelleunal3207 2 жыл бұрын

You are getting there hun, being able to realise when it's your eating disorder making you think a certain way is a massive step in your recovery. Keep up the amazing work 💗💗

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Thankyou so much Michelle xxx

@nicolaoffert4006 2 жыл бұрын

What a week ! But you got through it, you did amazingly well. Xx

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Thankyou so much Nicola! xxx

@laurabrokensha6359 2 жыл бұрын

You are such an inspiring angel and you are doing so well,I have struggled for over 20yrs with anorexia and its stolen half my life,so glad u are fighting it so hard.Love from South Africa.♥️♥️🇿🇦🇿🇦⚘⚘⚘⚘

@catherinemitchell3721 2 жыл бұрын

Laura, I'm in a similar situation as you.Your kindness & support for Fi is beautiful. But please be gentle with yourself. You're allowed better health too. I wish you well,and I'm sure Fi does too.💖💟 You are worthy of good things,just because...xxx

@cazlovescakes 2 жыл бұрын

Laura and Catherine, I hope you can both find a way to overcome this illness. I’m also looking at over 20 years with it, and I’m documenting my very slow recovery. I think it’s so much harder being older in terms of trying to get support xx

@catherinemitchell3721 2 жыл бұрын

@@cazlovescakes Thankyou Caz💖 It's impossible to get real help if you're a long-term survivor of ed.I simply do the best I can every day. I appreciate your kind wishes and hope you too find a way to enjoy your future 💟💓

@cazlovescakes 2 жыл бұрын

@@catherinemitchell3721 I’m making progress, albeit it slow, but my channel/podcast do force me to keep myself accountable. And it’s bittersweet to see how many people are in similar situations x

@harmonyhope1709 2 жыл бұрын

Would never have known that you were wearing Christmas pyjamas. You could have totally got away with that!! Really love your cute red dress. Lovely to see you wearing some colour 💗🌈

@hessiepessie1 2 жыл бұрын

Keep going. You are doing so great. Love from Holland

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Thankyou so much my love! xxx

@cazlovescakes 2 жыл бұрын

Summer hadn’t even showed it’s face here in Scotland yet. Recovery is full of ups and downs - I recently posted a video where I challenged myself, but iI was trying to run before I could walk. I try to learn from the bad times and be kinder to myself, accepting it’s all part of the process.

@ed_mummy6686 2 жыл бұрын

The grenade fudged up bar is my ultimate fave!! 😅🤣

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Ah I really didn't like it! I'm wondering id i just had a bad one though, everyone else seems to adore it!

@gloriacheng3418 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you sooo much for sharing your experience, thoughts and feelings about the illness. You did amazing this past week feel positive and don’t beat yourself up for having a little stumble and panic. It really helps and encourages me how you share your mental thoughts! :) Can I ask do you have any tips on eating the right portions, dealing with mental thoughts about calories and making the right decisions of changing food choices last minute. Thank you sooo much!

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad I can help in any way! Of course, I will address this in one of the upcoming youtubes. Lots of love! xxx

@stephanieturney6292 2 жыл бұрын

Love your red dress-it looks so great on you!💗

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Aww thankyou stephanie! xxx

@anniesoernym 2 жыл бұрын

Dear Fi, no need to apologise for being tired whilst filming. You are allowed to film whenever you feel like filming, no matter how else you feel - you are allowed to feel however you feel and show that to the world! 💚

@cazlovescakes 2 жыл бұрын

Definitely agree - I’ve filmed videos after I’ve had a b/p, and I look terrible, but it shows the reality. Expressing negative feelings can be a huge part of the recovery process x

@leanneeggenberger9127 2 жыл бұрын

Yes! Thank you so much for addressing "all in"...I respect those that can recover in that way..but I, similar to you, am not able to utilize that method. Everyone is on their own path :) Great video! xoxo

@cazlovescakes 2 жыл бұрын

I can’t do “all in” either, much as I’d love to. It just isn’t feasible with my anorexia subtype. Ant route is a valid route to recovery x

@claireh1713 2 жыл бұрын

Lovely to see your updates as always Fi! Where are all of your beautiful dresses from?

@stefbolton2266 2 жыл бұрын

You look great!!!you are headed forsucess, I can feel it☀ just a little observation, Whole milk yogurt tastes sooool much nicer and is so much more nourishing if you would like to try it you won't be disappointed! I used to eat fat/sugarfree yogurt and one day I got whole milk variety and I haven't looked back! Its delicious.🌞

@persistentdreamer 2 жыл бұрын

You had a wobble, but you made it through. You stuck to the plan, you weathered it. Have a good night’s rest.

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Thankyou so much Jean! xxx

@cynthiajackson1807 Жыл бұрын

Keep going Fi...not making fun but I laughed when you dropped the spoon...your spoons are nice with the positive sayings on them and I love your Grinch bowl. 🙂

@Finding_Fi Жыл бұрын

Thankyou Cynthia! Haha when I was editing it at first I was going to cut it out but then I just found it funny and kept it in :D I love my little spoons! xxx

@cynthiajackson1807 Жыл бұрын

@@Finding_Fi Hey Fi...I follow you on Instagram and have requested to follow you on your personal page on there...my profile pic is of an actress so it's not me.

@mistyswiftie13 2 жыл бұрын

please don't forget your other goals when you are out of the chair, it's not your only goal, it's just your next xx 🌱 💕🦋

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Definitely. It's a short term goal, but I have many more after I have reached it to aim for. xxx

@kwells179 2 жыл бұрын

I find a lot of the carbkilla bars taste so synthetic so I'm with you on that

@mistyswiftie13 2 жыл бұрын

New grenade bad alert!! Lemon cheesecake cake, oooo it's so good!

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

ahh I'm not a huge lemon fan! But may give it a go nonetheless!

@mistyswiftie13 2 жыл бұрын

@@Finding_Fi neither! I'm not really a cheesecake fan either, but it has shot up to one of my top favourites!! it's not overwhelming lemon-y, but it's very creamy and soft, however it has a few crunchy nuggets throughout that just tops it off * chefs kiss * 🌱🦋💕

@sheenaaikins4939 2 жыл бұрын

Did you struggle? Yes. Did you push through and keep doing the next right thing? YEP!! And THAT, my friend, is what matters most!! You're right. There is no right/wrong way to recover. It also won't be sunshine and unicorns everyday either. But you get through it and you keep going. And YOU'RE DOING IT!!!!!!! SO proud of you!! Also, I have a question. And please don't feel obligated to answer it on video if you don't want. But I'm curious if your self esteem has changed at all since you're making progress recently? It should be good anyway because you're a great person, but, seeing all the work you're putting in, I'm wondering if you're starting to see yourself the way everyone else sees you-an amazing person who has so much to offer the world ♡ Keep going, my friend :)

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Oh Sheena! I needed to read this, thankyou. You're so right. Had a wobble but kept on going, and that is what is important. I will address that question in a video! I really like it, thankyou. Thankyou for your support! xxx

@alicia_naraiah 2 жыл бұрын

Have you tried the PhD bars, the white chocolate blondie and salted caramel one's, are lovely! I think they even have a birthday cake flavour, but you can get them in Asda, Tesco and Morrison's (haven't looked in Sainsbury's) xx

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Ohh I have! I love the white choc blondie and the birthday cake bar has grown on me too! You can also get them in sainsburys :) xxx

@caseyd1935 Жыл бұрын

So proud of all the ahrd work you have consistently been doing! Apologies if ive missed it in a previous video, but what company are those bars from? They look delish!

@Finding_Fi Жыл бұрын

Thankyou Casey! It certainly is. Most of my bars are from: protein pick n mix, protein pantry and swolesome! xxx

@danathorogood9877 2 жыл бұрын

What is your night snack? How do increases work? Is there a specific amount you increase by?

@felicitytaylor1868 2 жыл бұрын

Beyond gutted you dislike Fudged Up so much!! It’s absolutely one of my faves - like a better version of a Mars bar imo… really sorry you felt so differently xx

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Ah no, I really didn't like it! I much prefer the mars protein range! xxx

@ninatakacs6564 2 жыл бұрын

I have a question for you! How do you feel about vegetables? Do vegetables have any sort of negative connotation for you because of diet culture? Anyway, keep going, Fi! You're such a fighter ❤️

@gemmi1 2 жыл бұрын

Hi Fi, a question for your q and a. Do you know what triggered this relapse? I'm NOT asking you to say what it was just if you noticed something, or if it just crept back in. Xx

@leahbaer11 2 жыл бұрын

There’s definitely no rule that says you have to go ‘all in.’ That’s become such a buzz word but really all it really means is listening to your hunger cues. Considering you struggle with getting them, it makes total sense that that strategy wouldn’t necessarily be effective for you! Like you said, there’s no one size fits all. I never went ‘all in’ and I still recovered from my eating disorder. Similar to you, I like structure. It works for me. Different strokes for different folks :)

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

I agree. Thankyou so much for understanding. There's no right or wrong way to recover, it is what works for the individual! xxx

@kateflack9968 2 жыл бұрын

Where do you get all the amazing bars from or is it different places ? Because they all look great

@alisonrippon2454 2 жыл бұрын

They are from swolesome foods

@mistyswiftie13 2 жыл бұрын

fi how do you get yourself out of old mindsets that you find yourself slipping into, I am struggling to battle it now and my whole head is just those thoughts again, not just while I'm eating and not just about food either but it feels like I'm eating with no purpose again and I relapsed last time that happened, your so strong I just wish I could have your courage 💕

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

I'm really strict with myself. As soon as I sense those creeping in, I talk to people around me to help me get out of them ASAP as the longer they happen the more intense they become. Do you have someone around you that can help keep you accountable?

@mistyswiftie13 2 жыл бұрын

@@Finding_Fi yep I do but it's so hard to explain to somone who hasn't been in my mind or has a mind like mine, my worker doesn't really help and she's the only one who is supposed to know the way it is, thank you so much for your help, your a star!!

@mummymoomoomummymoomoo8443 2 жыл бұрын

Hi I have a question, are you just at a stage where you have fat free yoghurts? Wouldn’t non fat free yogurt help you reach some goals quicker eg out of wheelchair etc…not being rude or anything just genuinely asking? Xx

@broojie8191 2 жыл бұрын

Hey fi, have you thought about also listening to music while you eat? I have OCD and I find that listening to music also helps drown out some of my intrusive thoughts

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Hey lovely! I always have the radio playing when I eat, and tend to do crosswords for distraction. When I get intrusive thoughts I also use music, I love spotify! Thankyou for your suggestion and support xxx

@broojie8191 2 жыл бұрын

@@Finding_Fi ofc ! Glad you find it helpful as well ❤️

@maryhuffman4034 2 жыл бұрын

What is the company of the bar shown today

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

Either swolesome or protein pantry!

@Natalia-sw8me 2 жыл бұрын

♥️🤝👍

@Kassie18191 2 жыл бұрын

What company is the rhubarb bar from

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

swolesome :)

@Katylovesjames 2 жыл бұрын

Your snack bars always look so tasty, where do you get them

@alisonrippon2454 2 жыл бұрын

They are from swolesome foods

@leahbaer11 2 жыл бұрын

Also, question for you if you feel like answering. Is your team allowing you to maintain your weight while you work on mental aspects of your ED? I can’t help but notice you haven’t gained weight (or so it appears to our eyes) so I was curious about that. Much love x

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

I have been and still am restoring weight. A lot of the weight I've gained has gone to my stomach which I'm finding very difficult. I definitely am gaining, hence why I am still allowed to be in the community.

@leahbaer11 2 жыл бұрын

@@Finding_Fi Thank you for answering! Weight distribution will definitely come eventually, we just have to be patient in the meantime which is definitely hard. I almost wish I had that when I was restoring tbh, as I really struggled with my weight gain being really noticeable. But I suppose gaining is gaining and it all evens out in the end. Keep on fighting the good fight, we’re all here to support you! ☺️

@mf-fb4bt 2 жыл бұрын

"All in" is more of an ideal in that one"s overall intent is moving ahead...regardless of setbacks, etc. All in includes ups and downs; not so much having to be "flawless" . Not at all.

@Finding_Fi 2 жыл бұрын

I understand this. I think the term has been interpreted differently by different people!