Can't fix racism without fixing narcissism, and narcissism especially malignant narcissism is very incurable

I was brought to tears by this. Freaking balling my eyes out right now.

Wow! What an epic talk! When a speaker speaks his truth, he helps us see our truth. When she speaks from her heart, she touches our heart.

Thank you, Dr. Parhar. I consider myself much more wiser today after listening to your talk. God bless you.

Thank you for sharing this, Dr. Parhar. It's a moving call to action. Glad that so many will have the opportunity to enjoy your unique blend of eloquence and humor the way medical students do.

Wow, Gurdeeo, that was powerful and inspirational! As far as I am concerned you embodied humility and courage by standing before thousands and speaking your mind - rather than censoring/editing your true feelings to concord with what society wants to hear. You delineated 3 things we can all do/start doing that will eventually reduce the negative impact of racial stereotyping; you modelled a fourth for all to see/to inspire other little people bullied in the locker room at their school - you talked about it. Rather than keeping it secret and stored way in the back of your mind, you had the courage to be vulnerable and strong at the same time. I am not able to spew out exact stats but I am confident enough to say that bullying, stereotyping - cultural, racial, sexual orientation, what have you - is not at ALL uncommon; sadly, it IS hidden - and hidden well. You brought your experience out, set it on the table, and spoke of it honestly: it hurt, it was terrifying, you see the blue tiles, you hear the voices. Gurdeep, your talk could be "the talk" that inspires at least 1 of those little children in the locker room to say something to someone; to stop hiding it; to be him/herself. Good for you!

Thank you Gurdeep for having the courage to stand up and share your story in such an engaging way. Your tips were very practical and I think if this message is shared and applied, it really will begin to end racism!

You are an amazing and loving man, Gurdeep! You turned the darkness you faced into love and light! Very moved by both your story, your courage and message to all of us! May you be blessed in all you do!

That was the quickest 17:52 seconds ever! Powerful, emotional, inspirational. Thank you.

Thanks for the talk. We need to be mindful of this particularly in healthcare where some of the most vulnerable people in society come in times of having no ways to defend themselves and need to feel safe.

Thank you for having the courage to speak up on a subject that should be prehistoric (and love your talk!). We are all one and the same. Love is much more powerful than hate.

Well done Gurdeep! Loved your message and was very grateful to have shared the stage with you. You have a natural style, great delivery and such a powerful message. Thank you for your insight and wisdom.

What an amazing perception. I am glad that leaders like Dr Parhar, are coming up boldly in a realistic eye opener to face these challenges. I have been in a society where racial discrimination goes subtly but very strong beneath the friendly exteriors. Often forced me to doubt myself, hate myself, get scared, lonely and even from the point of super motivated to start having feelings of running away. I pray that we have more people like Dr Parhar. I wonder in a society that does not care, how would it be possible to spread the word? and most importantly protect own self?

Wow what an amazingly powerful speech, and one which brings up some not too fond memories from my own childhood. I also grew up in a small town in British Columbia and I remember some of those same racial epithets being hurled at me. Thankfully, my own experiences were likely no where near as bad as what Dr. Parhar endured. I'm very glad though that Canadian society has progressed a lot since I was a kid. Our schools seem to place an emphasis on confronting bullying and overwhelmingly we consider the use of racially abusive language as pathetic and cowardly. The subconscious prejudices are going to be harder to eliminate but acknowledgement is a good first step!!

Thank you for this personal and moving talk, Gurdeep. This is a vital topic for us to acknowledge and discuss out in the open. I'm glad that so many people have been able to hear your perspective and wisdom. We all need to love each other more.

I am always re-energized when I see/hear an exchange of experiences from others. During my years in the diversity field I’ve seen many more people come forward to share personal and vulnerable stories through various platforms. Plus, I’ve seen more people take a keen interest in listening, learning and taking action. This is the power of story - and it is through our stories that hearts open. Gurdeep, thank you for sharing. I understand how hard it is to speak from a vulnerable and emotional place about one’s experiences and the hurt one has endured. I have lived this too and have been speaking about these issues as a public speaker and educator for over 20 years. It is not easy; yet when this work is one’s personal calling and life purpose, as it is for me, the emotional and personal journey does have a positive result and it’s worth it. You are not alone. Good for you for finding the courage to speak from an emotional and vulnerable place. I would be remiss in not acknowledging the many before us who have been speaking publicly and doing this work for a lifetime (and to the many who experienced racial violence and death). I raise my hands in gratitude to all. They carved the way for us. Thank you and let’s keep at it! #iamhumanity ~ M. Ghani Consulting, Community Engagement and Diversity Specialist

Thank you Dr. Pahar so much for sharing this. I am totally impressed ! I believe people like you can make so much difference in our world. Indeed, I believe that you have so much internal power, courage, and positive energy, all of which enable you to overcome this tough experience, learn from it, and even step forward trying to fix it. Very well done !

I laughed, I cried and I loved his story. For anyone who has been unfairly judged or bullied, this talk is for you. Amazing video! Incredible messages that are so needed in the world today.

Very well done, Gurdeep! What courage you have!! Until we stop to question our thoughts and behaviors we may not recognize what beliefs we have. It's important for us to take time to question our thinking. Thank you again for your presentation.

Incredible talk Dr. Parhar. You are a light in this world. Thank you for not allowing them to dim that light. We all have a responsibility and a part to play. It's encouraging to see that all the while the pain had a purpose. Thank you for walking in that purpose and arresting us all in your talk to be more conscious and aware of our own judgements.

excellent talk! I agree many people are unaware of the unconscious bias we inherently have towards people we have not had many interactions with. and your example on how this applies to being a doctor was a very interesting application of it.

Thank you for having the courage to voice your story Dr. Parhar. This is such an important message which you delivered with such grace. This video should be shared as widely as possible.

Wow, it couldnt have been said any better..👏🏽

Inspiring, moving, and funny! A great speaker and a born leader. Thank you, Gurdeep, for sharing your hurts, your heart, and your insights with us.

Thank you for your knowledge and enlightenment on such a difficult subject. It is so encouraging to hear someone, with an intimate personal experience, share their story and expertise and at the same time offer such accessible solutions.

An inspiring and eloquent speech. Thank you for sharing this very personal story and encouraging others to speak up. It is through sharing our stories hearts open and we encourage others that a different way is possible. Wonderful to see this conversation happening and encouraging action for something different.

I love Tedx talks. They have experienced orators from all different backgrounds, with different povs.

Imma keep my subconscious bias because it’s a natural healthy human trait. We have evolved to have brains that judge others so we can protect ourselves. This comes in useful to this day. For example there’s an ethnic group here in Ireland called the travellers. I have been robbed by them twice. If I ever see a traveller, imma keep an eye on my stuff and try avoid them. If it’s late and I’m in a dangerous neighbourhood, imma gonna have a look at the people and judge based on their look and characteristic wether or not I should take a taxi. When it’s dark and I’m walking outside, as a woman I cross the road whenever there’s a man behind me. I don’t do this for women. This is because as a woman I am far more likely to be abused by a man. If statistics and experience tell me to avoid people or to treat them a certain way, in order to protect myself, I will. Likewise, if I intimidate others, I’d understand it

good job Dr Parhar! I appreciated this talk as it comes near to my heart. thank you!

Thank you Dr. Parhar for sharing your story and experience with racial stereotyping , you conveyed an important message and I am very much moved by it.

I absolutely love Vancouver,BC. Stanley Park is a must to drive on Admiral way(dr). I lived in Yakima WA 74-98 and as a professional Frisbee player, we'd venture to BC for tournaments at Queen Elizabeth park.. we got a chance to hang out in Vancouver and our Canadian friends took us there. I can remember where the people would do their carvings there at the park. I am full blooded Native American of the Navajo nation. To be exposed to the great Pacific Northwest was one of my greatest times of my life! Was very comfortable in my skin, I was actually accepted because I'm indigenous North American. No threats, no bad talk, no one hated me or my culture at that time. It's 2021 now.. totally feel the opposite now, I live in Colorado and it seems the white culture either do not know if I'm Mexican to a native.. they don't care. Shame to see and feel their hate.. they don't even know me. But they know I'm not white. Just harsh stares and selfish acts to create indifference. Still comfortable in my skin, I know that for what happened and I'm a good family/father God fearing Christian man.. they see that first before they judge my color and my path. Somehow and some way we will not have to be this way until Satan is casted away from earth.. those that follow him or do not believe in our lord will be destroyed as well. Psalm 145:20 and study the beautiful paintings of Michelangelo distinctive chapel.. let y'all know who's in charge and what's yet to come.

Thank you for courageously sharing your story. You conveyed it powerfully, and I know it has already and will continue to make an impact. After viewing, someone asked "how to heal internal wounds of those who suffered from the negative impact of racial stereotyping?"... great question. Perhaps openness to hear and share stories is part of this? And I'm wondering, for the educators out there, how do you bring these conversations into the classroom? In courses in a variety of subjects/disciplines/styles. I guess that question can extend to others too though. How do you bring this into your workplace, playspace, interactive spaces in general?

An excellent presentation! A couple of thoughts; I believe we are "hardwired" to detect differences in others. This may be an artifact from when humans lived in caves and on the savanna and was, perhaps, part of the essential survival mechanisms, such as the fight or flight response and detection of possible threats. Unfortunately, we still have those traits even though we are supposed to be all so "civilized". As you quite rightly said, the media enhances stereotypical views. We see it daily on television and in the press. It is inescapable. It is difficult not to stereotype. The challenge is to change our perceptions, our biases and our reactions.Show less

sorry you had to go through that bro..great speech..God Bless you

This is incredible, coming from someone of Indian origin!

And the people said Amen to that!🙌

Very well done!!!💯

amazing

It's widely considered admirable to protect tribal (ideological, political, ethnic, familial, generational, professional, regional, religious, etc.) interests, even if 'outsiders' are somehow harmed in the process.

this is amazing ! thank you so much for doing this ted talk sir i am actually using your presentation in my research project for college! best wishes to you!

Amazing!

It's always about power for people and community leaders, power to lead or more reasonably DESTROY contradictions that are within said community leader's ideals. We can only exist on this planet because the planet doesn't hate us, it wants us dead for quite literally no reason besides having humor.

Giving people money won’t get rid of ignorance

You can't fix a problem by pointing a finger at one group and holding them accountable for things they didn't do and excuse the racism of others for things they didn't experience. The only way to end racism is to stop being obsessed with race. You are doing the exact opposite of making the problem better.

Deep 💯

11:42 imagine the Dr calling the grandmother before the visit and asking her "Are you Vegetarian, or do you eat meat?' and then planning his visit. Practically and rea;itically we all sterotype each and every second of our day today lives. How come I am judged whether I am fit for a job or not just by looking at two pieces of paper called "Resume"? because there is no time to have tea with each and every applicant and get to know them deeper, secondly it is not necessary. Sterotyping exists even when we pick a tomato from the grocery store "this tomato does not taste good" why? because it looks so. The world will never win racism with such a type of wisdom biased towards the victim and ignoring the perpetrator who is also a human being. Goodluck world!

"Human beings are born with different capacities. If they are free, they are not equal. And if they are equal, they are not free." -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn- Culture is just the fenotype of a population. Iq is genetic like everything else. There will always be deviants and outliers. Haplogroup is a better term than race. Plato described this 2500 years ago in the myth of the metals Crime is not a result of poverty, its a result of RELATIV poverty. Mixing groups with large diffrence in iq creates RELATIV poverty and political polarisation.

Imposible. People are not full blooded enough.

the cameraman said mary go round !!!

, wow

A change of hearts perhaps is some need to experience. God created all peoples equal, He loves us all. Love our neighbor as our selves should be every household motto. May we offer a kindness and a hand of assistance each day to someone. That is the best cure perhaps for any craziness out in the world.

Dude stereotypes aren't real. So, as an indian doctor...

RACISM is human Nature and the world is practicing this especially South Africa ???

I am an Indian Punjabi just like the guy in this video and I honestly think that it's about time the term 'racist' was scrapped. People use it so much of context and give it their own subjective interpretation in order to absolve themselves of being deemed as 'racist' that it doesn't even have real meaning anymore - I avoid using the term 'racist' these days and prefer 'prejudice'. Of course there is arguably a textbook definition of what 'racism' is but it doesn't hold any applicability.

Race is real and it matters...

Racism is at the root of civilisation. The Greeks saw themselves in opposition to the "Barbarians." To Greek ears foreign languages were all "Bar-Bar." Think about the evolution of a Polis. We find common ground with family first, then friends, then community etc. One of these steps will be your own race. By excluding others and acting prejudicially, we can form quick bonds in times of stress.

THE MIDDLE EAST IT'S NO SUCH PLACE, IT'S NORTHEAST AFRICA !

Where's my Asian friend?

too much eye blink.

Everyone comes to the America's but never go back and take the knowledge for their homeland like my people and then hate it when their homeland has the American's showing up like they don't want them their but don't care if you show up here and want what home didn't offer ✋😒

I am really worried about you 30 years and you still have flashbacks, I think you have PTSD , I am afraid you have to take a visit to the Shrink, Very Good ambitions though. To end deep primal very human habit of discrimination is absurd though, It's a legacy of hundreds of thousands of years that we could not make it to the present without. The only option we have is to strictly control our negative attitude toward others and strongly fight back whatever directed to us when prevails in violent or unpleasant way.

Well ... Maybe Gurdeep needs to find out what happened to those bullies - 30 years later. I am sure they are wasted and worn out on Opioids somewhere.

Here is an idea. Indians stay in India and Chinese stay in China. Slavery has been practised all over the world since neolithic times. It wasn't about race. Anyone in a vulnerable position could be enslaved.

You should take up some Martial Arts Training to make you a better man to handle those racists.

take a shot for everytime he blinks more than 5 times within a second

Sadly the stereotypes are usually true

this guy should have fought those bullies. yea he might have lost and got beat up but its a better alternative than to live your whole life still wanting to cry about some dudes calling you some names. pathetic.

🙈YEH RITE. EVERY NATINAILY I COME INTO WANT TO B WTE. AND ALL MISTREAT. HEBREWS(BLACKS. ALL

My God! Could you please stop blinking?! And yes, I know this statement is irrelevant, but it was SSSOOOOOO distracting and somewhat annoying. I apologize for the statement and realize it isn't worth mentioning to begin with due to it's negative nature, but it makes it bearable somehow. I'm not even a mean guy, and I normally wouldn't say such a thing in such a crude manner, but . . . idk why I did it really.

Well, his parents are still Indian though, so at least he is sth like bi-cultural, from having been brought up by parents of a different culture, and he looks completely Indian. So, to sort of pretend that he doesn't know what someone is talking about when he is asked about his culture, and gives them some answer about ice hockey just seems disingenuous in the extreme. I have some friends who were born to white European parents in India and have grown up and always lived in India, even since birth, unlike this guy, and they get asked about their origins and culture all the time, and they just give, like, a normal, straightforward answer, that their parents are French, but that they themselves were born and raised in India, and they speak Tamil, french and English. And if talk to them even a little bit, you will quickly realise that their upbringing was NOTHING like the upbringing of a typical Indian child, it was very much European, even though they ve never lived in Europe in their life. I imagine that in many ways it was the same for this guy. It certainly was for my Indian friends in England. Just call it what it is, and don't beat around the bush. It's FINE growing up with two cultures, but people should be allowed to mention it.

12 schools in 12 years... Bullies are everywhere and you ain't special. Try being the new kid every year. Edit: PREjudice almost always falls to the positive so the whole they just don't know enough stereotyped peoples that's why they hate argument is moot. POSTjudice is different. Once folk experience enough of diversity they learn to hate. The lie of contact=harmony is sad to hear out of the mouth of a PhD.

Any right-wingers, conservatives, Alt-Right AKA racists in here??

The KKK has left the chat

Thank you for sharing this, Dr. Parhar. It's a moving call to action. Glad that so many will have the opportunity to enjoy your unique blend of eloquence and humor the way medical students do.

Thanks for the talk. We need to be mindful of this particularly in healthcare where some of the most vulnerable people in society come in times of having no ways to defend themselves and need to feel safe.