My husband and I are both first born and have been married 51yrs. I chose him due to the fact he was a Christian and we both went to the same church. He has always been my rock but we both think our way is best. It has been a challenge at times but I tend to give in more than him. Our marriage has always been our main focus. He was also a Marine when we got married which fits in with his need to have his way and I understand. I feel so safe knowing we will continue to grow old together ❤️

There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've learned that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years back, my wife and I were almost divorcing because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to work things out. It was a hard time, but we got past it.

Husband and I had been married 15 yrs. hence our 7th grade middle son (family comedian) brought the book order bok home from school. We decided why not and sat down and read thru it till our stomach hurt. It’s all truth. The best.

I was the 4th of 8 children and our home was broken by divorce. My husband was the 2nd of 5 children and a preacher’s kid. We’ve been together for 44 years. Happy to have found each other.

I’ve always been interested in birth order. It’s not an exact science, but birth order is more about family dynamics and roles than anything. Each child is born into a different family.

Ive ALWAYS ALWAYS been introduced by ny 2 older siblings to there friends (im the youngest) as their “baby sister” in my much younger years id get so offended and blurt out “im not a baby!” LOL even to this day im hitting 50y/o in a few months and Im STILL introduced to people by my sisters as their baby sister. It use to be annoying in my adolescent and teen years but now as a grown woman i adore it and will forever keep and hold that title❤️

🎉Judgment pushes you apart, feelings bring you together.

It’s much more than birth order it’s more the way we were treated by parents and the role that is assigned to us by parents especially if they are narcissistic toxic parents. The first born gets it the worst

I read his book, first born here. I read myself, it’s great for understanding yourself and it makes you aware in order to smooth things in a relationship.

I’m a first born. But I’ve had learning disability and difficulties in my growing up years. That I gave my birth order rights to my sister the middle child. I’m still older but I listen to her like she’s the first born. And she definitely has a first born kind of personality too. I married a first born. He’s definitely as you described! And UGH!! It’s so annoying!!!!! Edited:::::::::: OH!!!!!!!!! My mom was not only criticizing and critical of me the older child. She was abusive towards me. Not my siblings. ( because I definitely frustrated her as an ADHD child, before there was a diagnosis for this). So it makes sense why my middle sister is the “older sister”

I read his book around 20 years ago and always share birth order with people I know.

I miss Dr Lemans podcast. His wisdom speaks to me.

I am the youngest of four and we are pretty close in age, I am not a manipulator and I definitely am the organizer of the family!

This is understandable. We are a lot about our environment. It does condition and wire us into different perspectives and personalities. And that all begins in the family setting so this resonates with me.

Happy Summer! Love these videos with your folks!

I read the book a year ago - I found it interesting. I am excited to come across and watch this discussion...

Im so excited about this..i always knew this in my mind, I'm a second born who knew i can't get married to a 2nd 3nd or 4th born i got married to a 1st born and the relationship is so easy.

I don’t agree… I’m the last born but I am the one my parents trusted to lead all my siblings and I was the only one they listen too.

What a great book. I need to get another copy of it.

Thank you . This is so helpfully!!

I wish he would talk about twins!

I hate to say that nothing that you said matches my wife and I or other people we know. Both my wife and I are second born, and also last born and completely opposite of what you explained. We both are very responsible, write lists, and think everything through very clearly. We also get along very, very well for many years!

My husband is the eldest and ONLY boy no matter how you slice it. He has a step dad and a step mom - all girls before and after him (10 women siblings). I’m the youngest (baby) 2nd born girl and have 1 older brother. I was the kid who usurped my brother in most ways because of my mother’s critical eye. It pushed me to get the heck out and do something, anything, well. He took longer to get started but is doing well now! Even though I keep telling him to demand a raise he deserves 🙄😂, he is doing rlly well. I’m super proud of him ❤

That's interesting, about the critical parent! I always wondered why my oldest sister didn't seem like a 1st born but my second sibling sister completely does! My grandma lived with my parents the 1st few years of marriage & hear she was a pretty critical lady... Interesting.

I agree. Kindness is soooo important!!

Our 5 sons all about 3 years apart. Well for 31 days each year. The oldest 2 are 3.5 years apart, the next two are 2 years 4 months apart, then the next two are 5 weeks short of three years apart, and the final two are 8 weeks short of three years apart. My husband is an only, and I am the oldest who was raised my first 7 years with an older foster brother. We just celebrated our 40th anniversary.

My hubby and me have been married for 22 years both first born. He is 4 years younger than me. He is my little brothers age. He had 3 younger brothers. He is a PK. This is both of our second marriages. He had one kid I have one kid. The kids as kids when together fought like cats and dogs. But would defend each other to any other. I was single mom for 13 years.

Amazing 👏🏼

I'm intrigued by this and would love to read the book. I think broken families makes this much harder to delineate though, especially since there's a decent amount of nuance already with age gaps and parental differences. I am an only child of my parents union, but my dad had a son before me in another marriage (whom I didn't know) and my mom had another daughter after me in another marriage (whom I helped raise). I was also a middle child in the blended family of my mom's second marriage until that ended and I was back to firstborn status. I have a firstborn personality with some mixture of other traits, my mom was also hyper-critical and I was expected to be adult-like very early in life. I'm terrible at giving encouragement to people I know well, a problem I really want to fix. My husband is an only child, but his personality doesn't fit into any category neatly. I guess I wonder how much is nature vs nurture.

Mrs Uppington........ lolol... love it !

I started listening skeptical, but this is so true. I am my father’s first, second child for my mother. My husband of 37 years, is a first born.

I can see the relstuon of birth order to character. BUT SO MUCH of it is temperament, I think. It impacts it a lot.

My husband is a first born and he is exactly like Dr Leman described. I'm 3rd born girl and let me tell you I was a feisty little thing. 😁 😉

I've found it interesting that when I meet people from Africa and Asia, they tend to introduce themselves by including their birth order. We even see the emphasis in the Bible with Jacob's children, and the births of a few other figures. It really can tell you a lot about a person's personality and why they behave and react in certain ways. I wish there was more info on people that come from blended families. I am my dad's second youngest after being his youngest for 11 years, and my mom's oldest. So in a way, I am the oldest, middle and for a time, the youngest simultaneously.

My parents were very critical of me growing up.. makes me understand why i always fail at life...

I think he’s trying to say he supports her but it’s in a different way but he’s got some interesting points and I really like that he says not everyone is the same he’s talking generally

Brilliant book & explains a lot for me,being first born with a parent, who tended to be critical. I do think ‘sins of the fathers’ etc is so true but knowing what Kevin writes about could avoid this scenario.

I am the 3rd of 4, the 1st of a set of twins, but was raised as an only child by my grandmother. I am 41 and have trouble trying to figure out my role--even in my work.

Plain speech is easily understood.

Interesting - I'm #6 of six girls. My parents gave up having a son, and after me, adopted a wee boy. Relating to much of what Dr Leman said.

I was the youngest of the family of both of my parents and my own and it shaped all of my life. At twelve I should have left, I tried but they prohibited it. I walked through a different beat of the drum, for sure.

I am the middle child and second born. My older sibling is not the standard first born, because he felt that he was criticized by our parents. I leapfrogged over him and became the classic firstborn.

12:21 critical eye parent Child will be discouraged

I am an only and I do agree…my mother used to say it was like talking to an adult when we would talk ….even as a young child.

My husband is a middle child one hundred percent the comedian 😂 im the youngest and im more the list maker dont like surprises all my ducks in a row we have a great balance

I am a first born daughter in every way and everywhere I go. We are a force

My husband and I are middle chidlren. Been married/together for 21 years!

My dad was southern but we lived in the southwest. I was third daughter followed by only son. When he would introduce me he would say " this is my least one..." As a child i of course understood the non southern definition of" least."...and needless to say it did a number on my head. I get it now...always wonder if dad ever figured out what was happening. I am definitely the textbook middle child

Kevin is wise

Too many parents have children for narcissistic reasons and covertly hold them in contempt. Look at the criminal cases we’ve had in the last 5 years. Parents murdering their children left and right. I can barely keep up with all of these cases.

I wonder how this applies if you're a kid in a large family?

I'm like 3 yrs apart from older sibling. There are 4 of us total. I've always felt like a tag along and one with no prominent opinion. To this day I don't take criticism well from some. I feel like a first born with last born tendencies ..

Interesting , I can see similarities

The only problem with this talk was that it's short!

I have said to a co-worker before, "Of course I know how to get what I want, I'm a last-born." Although I don't get really stubborn unless I absolutely know I'm right.

I have no idea why you don't, but so wish you'd enable Closed Captioning! The camera kept roaming so I couldn't always see Dr. Leman's face when he talked, which would have assisted hearing. But without Closed Captioning - I was lost most of the time. A shame.

Vitamin E💯

So, what happens if you are the Only Child?

I’m a firstborn married to a 4th born 💀 yaaaaaah

We are both first Borms and have a list that we both made and tick everything off😅 😂😂😂

I agree with so many things said here. Of course there are differences in each family, but children looking to see where they fit in and adapting to their environments makes perfect sense.

What about only child? Same as first born?

Birth order research highly confirmed! 1,2,3,4 then starts over. 12 kids? 1234,1234,1234

I am no.7 married to no.5, so I don't know what that means to my marriage

this doesnt really match up woth my parents and siblings or hubbys parents and siblings

Not agree. My sister is the oldest and she's not the perfect list maker ect. She's messy and don't care. I'm the middle child I want stuff to be perfect I'll make the list, make sure everything is doing write. My husband and I are both middle children and still so different

Amen.this is why we need to study the Bible continuously

what about the youngest?

What if there were miscarriages before I was born? I am a middle child but my mom had 2 miscarriages. Am I still a middle child? 🤔

wonder about only child

I'm first born and my parents weren't anything like what you are saying.

I'm the baby, but my sister was 20 years older. Does that make me a first or a baby?

10:34 💀 your husband hates your questions😂

Haha your first born attributes…you didn’t know my older brother.

12:50 not at the first-born's expense, but because the first-born can't, for whatever reason

Not to acerbic, in my family of ten children

If the first child was a stillborn, and you were born next, are you a first or second child?

People are brainwashed into believing this lie. We are all unique and we determine our outcome not our birth order. Gid did NOT make us that way!

Clean out the bank accounts and get finances in order

This does not speak to me

Oh wow this is not true about first born and middle child for me, I am like my Dad I don’t know what my sister came from..she certainly did not leap frog 😂😂😂😂

The birth order is less relevant the more children there are in the family as well as the gender mix and the responsibilities growing up.

I wouldn’t listen to it.

If you watched William and Kate, often they were videoed competing in something against each other, I found that odd. As you say Dr Leman, marriage is NOT a competitive sport. Thank you. Indeed, a healthy marriage is not.

So birth order? What about THE ONLY CHILD - THAT IS A FEMALE? CUZ I AIN'T GOT NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS! Years has been my mom tried to have children after me but couldn't. So the reality is I am an only child. It's not like well. I would have been the oldest child. No, no. The the reality is. I am an only child, so are you going to leave only children out of this equation. Or are you only talking about people that have brothers and sisters

I got to 3.29 mark and had to quit. This is so culturally biased and so American it just did not resonate at all with this Aussie girl from the bush

Amazing...I just learned that 2 firstborns should never marry, lol. My now EX made the same mistake twice, tho, and married another firstborn, lol. Ah, such is life!

This sounds a lot like horoscopes. No biblical application. It made me quite uncomfortable because it was so far from a biblical connection (at least 10 minutes in) - so I couldn't finish.

Leman uses multiple cliches. He's a walking talking, praphrase and idea plagierist.