"It's not your fault" was a phrase that did eventually help me.
@michellegordon42114 ай бұрын
Good Will Hunting. That movie means so much to me...
@annaburns28654 ай бұрын
Yep. When they finally updated that in the Celebrate Recovery program, it meant the world to me.
@maypasifiki93603 ай бұрын
Yes. That was a huge help to me as well
@boingyboop49603 ай бұрын
Such a powerful phrase
@theknittinkitten29543 ай бұрын
I broke down crying at "I believe you"
@goblinguy31034 ай бұрын
Respecting their space is SO important. It’s their only space. If you want them to feel safe around you they need to know they can get away from you at any moment and not be punished.
@us-the-voices4 ай бұрын
YOOOO GOBLINNN
@purplesingercats89374 ай бұрын
YOOOOOOO
@charliecrow68174 ай бұрын
Shit this made me understand myself so much better
@koschta31034 ай бұрын
oh hey I always see you on a dudes stuff
@-BumbleBerry-4 ай бұрын
it's so weird seeing your comments anywhere other than a dude's videos but HIIII
@starl1ghtw0lf4 ай бұрын
As a teen, calling nightlights "outlet lights" made me feel less like a little kid for still using them
@phalanges36473 ай бұрын
I called mine the hallway light for similar!
@megan8933 ай бұрын
You're good. No need to feel like a kid. I'm 33 and I still use them. I just don't like the dark.
@AnnekeOosterink3 ай бұрын
@@megan893 Teens and older kids might not feel that way, as an adult I know that things I do for my comfort are not childish or shameful, but as a teen? I absolutely felt that. So, sure, there is no need to feel like a kid, or for that to be a bad thing if you do, but that doesn't change the fact that many teens and older kids will feel that way, and will feel ashamed.
@bagelisdead3 ай бұрын
Getting "more adult" night lights might help for some. My grandma actually had a nightlight that was literally just a dim lightbulb you could plug into an outlet, and my sister is currently using a nightlight that's just a small little white box.
@ScaryGeorgia263 ай бұрын
I have a lava lamp and a aurora projector in different rooms as an adult :)
@gracen80104 ай бұрын
The director of the group home I was in was the first adult in my life to ever say point blank “I believe you” without making any excuses for my abuser and it quite literally saved my life. My entire personality did a complete 180 from the self-destructive spiral I had been in and I managed to finally get back on my feet, all because someone told me to my face “I believe you”. Good foster parents save lives.
@loco73573 ай бұрын
I believe you. That makes all the difference in the world and you deserved to hear it! ❤
@wys..k4 ай бұрын
a lil tip for parents: treat your children like this too. this isnt only for foster children. some of these things usually are only used for foster children but that doesnt mean your own teen doesnt need the same respect affection and support
@RuthBhmand3 ай бұрын
Abso freaking lutely!
@recoveringsoul7553 ай бұрын
It's about basic consent, respecting boundaries. If someones boundaries haven't been respected, they need to be taught that it IS OK to have personal space and boundaries.
@beelzemobabbity3 ай бұрын
@@recoveringsoul755and children need to be taught them, regardless. It helps prevent people from taking advantage
@UnmodernDaughteroftheKing3 ай бұрын
Yes!!
@juliafox523 ай бұрын
Unfortunately, no. I've seen parents of very small children put all decisions in the hands of the small child. These children all grew up to be narcissistic monsters. The flipside must also be taught: teaching the child to respect others boundaries. I cannot tell you how many times parents, especially dads of girls, allow the child to come up and hit them. Girls have become extremely toxic with the constant lesson of You Always Get To Decide. To be sure, as the child grows and certainly with jumping in as a foster parents; however, balance is very much needed.
@tsirakura16844 ай бұрын
Now that I think of it, many of these are strategies my father unknowingly employed after rescuing us from our abusive mom
@gremlinsforever4 ай бұрын
Sounds like you have a great dad
@tsirakura16844 ай бұрын
@@gremlinsforever I really do
@C-SD3 ай бұрын
Some people are just naturally good at this sort of thing. It helps if you know your kids well. ❤ fwiw I'm glad your dad got you out of there.
@loco73573 ай бұрын
Great dads can make up for bad moms (in my experience at least, almost ❤). Sending love.
@missysfarmyardanimals3 ай бұрын
I had an abusive family and was in and out of foster care for a few years before being adopted by my wonderful parents. So to anyone who needs to hear this. Don’t give up and be grateful for the time you can spend with your parents. ❤
@telliex3 ай бұрын
I was assaulted and trafficked by my father for 4 years before being put in foster care at 11 years old. I entered my adoptive home at 14 but I never once got this kind of tender, loving, understanding experience. All the children you've raised are lucky to have that. Please keep doing what you're doing.
@SpecialBlanket3 ай бұрын
I believe you ❤
@eannelisarheuben3 ай бұрын
You did not deserve that, especially from your Dad. I know healing is a long journey, but I wish you all the happiness and peace. You deserve to heal and grow, in joy.
@cr4zysh4dez3 ай бұрын
I believe you 🫂 -survivor
@loco73573 ай бұрын
I’m so sorry for what he did to you! You deserve so much more. I’m glad you got away from him- I truly am sorry for what you’ve endured. Sending love and positive thoughts for your future self and hopefully you will find everything you want in life. Maybe someday you will create a family and be the parent you should have had. ❤
@telliex3 ай бұрын
@@loco7357 Thank you! I certainly don't plan on birthing children, but I'm hoping to take in ones that went through what I did
@heather84534 ай бұрын
oh ow that "i believe you" started making me cry i feel like something got healed
@nikkimanuel89184 ай бұрын
Same here.
@missmarthafawker4 ай бұрын
Me three
@Celery__59384 ай бұрын
Same❤
@elizabetha55614 ай бұрын
Same
@destituteanddecadent91064 ай бұрын
Has no one told you that before 💔
@SashaTheConqueror4 ай бұрын
I feel like if i had someone like this in my life growing up, my life would be drastically different.
@FranklyRanunculus4 ай бұрын
*I* would be drastically different.
@candlelitpeppermintcarniva85094 ай бұрын
Absolutely
@ashleykerr65283 ай бұрын
Same
@gingerkenworthy74983 ай бұрын
Me too … sending you all hugs 💕
@sunnyybb71204 ай бұрын
as a teen survivor myself i'm crying. my experience has not been as good as this but i wish it was. you clearly know what you're talking about
@menaduarte34754 ай бұрын
May every day bring you more love and healing, you deserve joy and peace❤
@AWrandom204 ай бұрын
You deserve peace and joy. ❤
@lovepeace23734 ай бұрын
you deserve better, i am sorry people didnt do their part well. when growing older you can better your life circumstances step by step. Even if you take mini babysteps, you go foreward, you get to a better place. You can do it, you give your inner child the love and care she/he needs and definitely deserves. Nobody can hinder you. You have survived, you have come this far ! sending you lots of love ❤❤❤
@sunnyybb71204 ай бұрын
@@lovepeace2373 you have no idea how much this means to me. everything happened when i was 13. i'm 18 now, but i feel like i only recently started to heal.
@WhimsicalBunn4 ай бұрын
This is what I was thinking
@Actually_its_Ashely4 ай бұрын
I wish ALL parents or parental figures acted like this
@cmrsnowflake4 ай бұрын
I hope that these resources help expand the pool of foster parents who are not afraid to take in survivors.
@embarrassedcap4 ай бұрын
me too -- often it's the best people second guessing their abilities, but that's because they really do care about the kids out there.
@CASonYT3 ай бұрын
Help I'm a little confused.. survivors of what?
@alyssapinon96703 ай бұрын
@@CASonYTabuse of any kind, but usually SA or physical abuse.
@Jade.0513 ай бұрын
@@CASonYTAbuse I assume, any kind of
@A_star_ixx3 ай бұрын
@@CASonYTMost likely survivors of some sort of abuse. These accommodations are also helpful for suicide survivors, so really this video is helpful for fostering (and parenting in general) any kind of depressed and/or traumatized child
@nathenewendzel78064 ай бұрын
This isn't only good advice for foster parents of teenagers, but all parents and parental figures of teenagers as well. 🙂
@jenniwilliams3295Ай бұрын
I completely agree there seem to be quite a few of us who think that way because even though hopefully your biological kids have not been through trauma they so deserve understanding love and respect.
@LuckyLatharn4 ай бұрын
First off, as a teen myself who always feels incredibly unsafe without being able to shut/lock the door, thank you so much for being so compassionate. We need more people like you. Second, I know this is off topic and will probably be lost in the sea of comments, but I just wanted to say that color shirt makes your eyes look absolutely STUNNING holy cow
@the26thLetteroftheAlphabet3 ай бұрын
yes. to both. even if we aren't survivors, we have needs. we aren't being crazy or over demanding. we just want the respect you give the adults you expect us to act like
@LuckyLatharn3 ай бұрын
@@the26thLetteroftheAlphabet Exactly!
@christineh41923 ай бұрын
My brother would just walk in my room , just to annoy me.
@loco73573 ай бұрын
Is someone hurting you? I’m sorry to ask. I don’t know if you are reaching out… if so, I’m reaching back. I’m not a weirdo- I’m a mom (not that that really means anything sadly)- but if you need help please say so I will keep checking this for you- ok? Seriously.
@LuckyLatharn3 ай бұрын
@@loco7357 No no, I'm okay! Didn't mean to worry anyone! But it's so sweet of you to check. You're an absolute saint, I hope you have a lovely day!
@HoozieWhatsitz4 ай бұрын
Hearing "I believe you" can be so powerful
@HoozieWhatsitz4 ай бұрын
So often, the people who take our reports and hear our stories - they are in a more investigative mode. Foster parents are in a unique position to get more personal, and to be a bit biased in the interest & well-being of the child, especially over the pride/avoidance of any other adults involved.
@cooper1974 ай бұрын
The giving space thing really hit home. I think people don’t realize that the whole “it’s my house I’ll open whatever doors I want to whenever I want to” and “I’ll look through whatever I want it’s my house” goes out the window when you’re parenting a traumatized child. All tearing into a traumatized child’s personal belongings is going to do is trigger them and make them untrusting of you.
@alyssapinon96703 ай бұрын
It genuinely angers me how many foster/adoptive parents are ignorant of trauma informed care. I know I probably couldn’t handle the responsibility of raising another life (let alone one that’s survived trauma). But too many adoptive parents feel entitled because they “saved” a kid from their brith homes and the foster care system.
@FabricofTime3 ай бұрын
I think it goes out the window when you're a parent in general. The best way to raise a kid who is distrustful and reflexively lies and who you feel like you don't really know or understand is to give them no privacy. They might not even be doing anything awful. Any time I see a parent proudly announce that they know everything about their kid and there are no secrets allowed in their house, I'm like, "Well that's a kid with a whole boatload of stuff they've kept secret just to have some privacy."
@Mendoxs_3 ай бұрын
@@alyssapinon9670 it's so frustrating. How are you going to voluntarily take in an abused child only to be annoyed at their existence and abuse them further? And to still call yourself a hero after that?? It's so idiotic.
@jenniwilliams3295Ай бұрын
My mom read my diary and then beat me for what was in it. I felt so violated and you know I was constantly abused But that felt so raw I guess. I have never read anything my kids leave out I don't invade their space because I respect them and they are great kids. But I've also always been this type of parents so they know they can tell me anything and as long as it's not illegal we'll figure it out and work it out together. Or I just support you and now they tell me everything. Some stuff Mom's probably don't need to know but I hear it and I'm thankful
@SilverLuminescence3 ай бұрын
As someone who was SA'd as a kid and who wanted to be heard and respected, thank you. Seeing your efforts and compassion brings a small piece of peace to my soul.
@PrincessAsher223 ай бұрын
I wish my parents respected my space after i survived it
@darkcreatureinadarkroom16174 ай бұрын
You know the fact that you just might be the first person in their life to treat them with such compassion and respect...
@WeFightForever3 ай бұрын
I really like the constant framing of questions eith phrases like "do you have a preference" or "do you want to pick" because it makes it clear that "no, I don't care what day and have decision fatigue. You can just pick whatever for me" is a fine answer.
@florenceogrady87143 ай бұрын
I am an adult. I was harmed as a child, before 7th grade. I did see counselors for another issue, from 7th till 10th grade. Not one of the 3 counselors I saw ever asked me about being sexually hurt and neither did my aunt and uncle who I lived with. A lot of children, no matter their age, are not always able to tell you what has happened to them. Please remember this when you counsel them and please believe what they tell you. Sexual hurts can come out as other kinds of hurt.
@tsirakura16844 ай бұрын
As someone who wished cps would whisk them away and put them in foster care as a teen, this healed my soul just a bit
@ameliag85743 ай бұрын
THANK YOU for not showing any kids on camera, so many other yt vids do and when it’s about such a vulnerable group it always makes me feel sick. so thank you! great advice too xx
@ofbleedingink64734 ай бұрын
This all feels so incredibly kind. Thank you for your work.
@gracehofferbert51394 ай бұрын
Oh how I wish that I had this when I was a foster kid.. I am am aged out never adopted foster... The people that had me last, made me leave the day after I turned 18 because they wanted Littles, I don't blame them, but I was not at all ready for the world and I had to fall many times. I was homeless and scared, but I'm happy to say that I have made my own family now and I did make it in the end. I am 41 now. If you are a foster kid, hang in there, you are stronger than you know and not everyone is out to get you. Keep your head up. And to this wonderful woman, you are a super woman for how you foster and I want to personally thank you.
@turnersgauge34304 ай бұрын
Have you ever fostered a child/teen with substance abuse disorder or having a criminal record? I’d love to know how to help those young people get back on the right track ❤
@pzh33344 ай бұрын
As a former child addict, i would have liked to be offered a space to share IF I wanted, with no judgement, just listening. No solutioning immediately but offering me options of how to proceed forward and letting me choose the baby steps i wanted to take. Have me sleep on it and then talk again to decide the next step and schedule something. I used because of SA, and i wouldn't have shared that with anyone back then, as i always protected my family no matter what, but i would have shared other things that bothered me. Obviously you need to set the boundaries of sobriety in your home but make sure your come from a place of love and gentleness, and mixing it in with all the house rules would make me feel less targeted and like it's part of the list of things. Of course this advice won't work for everyone, but having someone listen and give me rules was what i desperately wished for. I might not have obeyed right away, testing you, but finding out you cared enough to hold me accountable would have gone a long way. If the teen still needs detox to sober up safely then that needs to come out so they don't feel so scared of getting to sober that they won't work with you. Educate yourself in grave detail, not the crap people say to scare people from drugs, but the reality of the particular drug. I hope this was helpful in some way!
@vetercrew854 ай бұрын
@@pzh3334thank you so much for this. We took a 17yo into our.home 2 years ago and he struggles with substance use. Part of it is self-medication. We have tried so hard to keep lines of communication open, thanking him for smart choices, and talking to him about not-so-smart choices. It took me some time to appreciate that while I couldn't approach him the way I approach the kids I birthed, he responds so well to honesty, transparency and trust. I love the kid to death; he is the child of my heart.
@darkcreatureinadarkroom16174 ай бұрын
General advice here (not an expert in any shape or form): Don't reduce them to their problematic behavior, whether it's current or past. Let them know that they are much more than their past experiences. That doesn't mean trying to "hide the dirt under the rug" and pretending it didn't happen, but make sure to emphasize their good qualities and to celebrate their successes... And their humanity.
@ET136664 ай бұрын
Not sure if this is the right place to share this, but my personal opinion is that people aren't inherently good or bad. Our intentions and our decisions can be good or bad (they're not necessarily the same thing). And a person who has had bad intentions/decisions in the past can have good intentions/decisions in the future, and vice versa. I believe if you treat someone like they're a "bad kid" because of previous things they've done, you are essentially saying that they ARE their actions. And that they will always be a bad kid because of it. I believe if a kid starts to think they are inherently bad, they will (at least subconsciously) think, "Well, I'm a bad kid, and not capable of being a good kid. So I should behave like a bad kid, and not bother trying to be a good kid". Or at least "I'm treated like I'm a bad kid even when I'm trying to be good, so why should I bother trying to be good?". Obviously an oversimplification, but that's my theory. And I'm sure that there are people out there who will always have bad intentions, even if you are kind and give them the benefit of the doubt. But I believe that that's not the case for most - especially children, who are still being shaped by their environment.
@ET136664 ай бұрын
@@pzh3334 Thank you for sharing your experience. It's really helpful to hear from people who have lived experience. Your description is very articulate, and it's really helpful to hear what kind of things you feel would help, and importantly, what might make the situation worse. I hope in a much better place now.
@erinmalone26694 ай бұрын
I know you do a lot of small child content but as a foster parent of older teens I really appreciate this. I have been the foster parent of SA'd teens and it's a very different situation because you want to respect their autonomy and their process❤
@bee.23924 ай бұрын
I’m not a foster kid but more recently have been realizing the extent of my emotional abuse and neglect and aaaa ‘m here almost crying. Thank you so much for doing what you do. Having someone to actually *parent* would be a dream come true
@lauragrace56223 ай бұрын
I love this woman. The foster care system is so screwed up, but she is a shining light for the kids she cares for.
@kathrynpearce76623 ай бұрын
I’m a middle aged woman with two loving parents, but I still want you to be my mom! You are so inspirational.
@pinkmargaritas22Ай бұрын
“I believe you” and “It’s not your fault” is so important
@emilyoverby76734 ай бұрын
As someone that has co-facilitated support groups for adult and child survivors, thank you! Ppl don’t really understand how much the way family and friends react to them after the trauma can shape their recovery and literally the rest of their lives. If my family would’ve done some of this for me, it would’ve made a huge difference.
@Artemis_Pendragon3 ай бұрын
I would also argue that adults pretending shit is not happening can transform grief into irreparable trauma. At least that was my experience when I learned my father was screwing my best friend the week my mother overdosed. He married her. All my aunts, uncles and siblings normalized their behavior and now they do family gatherings together. I lost my faith in humanity and moved away. I could probably have recovered from my mom's death and dad's betrayal. But seeing how little my pain meant to those closest to me taught me that people are too selfish and spineless to trust with anything as precious as a human heart.
@hammeta84833 ай бұрын
Being told when I can leave and when I couldn’t was the biggest thing for me when I was in care. After three years of homelessness, being inside was hard to adjust to, and I was kept in the house as much as they could. Also being yelled at for not keeping my room tidy. As well as told that just because I live there doesn’t mean that it’s my space.
@C-SD3 ай бұрын
That last one. What the actual fuck.
@FlanneryschickensАй бұрын
Ah yes my parents were also of the mindset "this isn't your room we just let you stay here"
@HailingRoses3 ай бұрын
You are an amazing human being.
@Haley_6783 ай бұрын
I found that I needed to hear all these words as a 35 year old living a healthy life. I cannot imagine what this feels like for a child who has been through hell.
@cheyennereed2474 ай бұрын
This brings me to tears. So many of us were raised in such an unkind way. It baffles and saddens me.
@MothiflyFox3 ай бұрын
if only I had a guardian like that. I've already gone through a lot of shit like S.A. several times in the 15 years I've existed.
@megan8933 ай бұрын
I'm really sorry to hear that. You're clearly a really strong person. Keep being that. Just remember to talk to someone when it feels overwhelming. It helps to have someone else work through things with you or, even just listen. I use a therapist and/or 7 Cups. Keep at it. Eventually you'll be old enough to be fully in control of your life and I really really wish you all the happiness once you are. You deserve it ❤️
@monicaibamar3 ай бұрын
You’re curing my inner child, thank you 🤍
@cobraofearth3 ай бұрын
Well another random youtube short made me cry
@jenna61494 ай бұрын
I wish there had been someone like you decades ago. I seriously watch your content because seeing kids finally getting the compassion, validation, and safety that you and so many others provide me a great sense of hope for their healing. .
@KindredWoD3 ай бұрын
These are such amazing tips. Not just for foster kids, but for survivor teens in general.
@seventheenby4 ай бұрын
a lot of these are really things parents in general should be doing, but are definitely extra important in this situation
@katbird26993 ай бұрын
DON'T MAKE ME CRY AAAA God, if all parents were like this, everyone would grow up to feel safe and loved... The star projector was the first thing to break me in this video. It took me so long to figure out that I needed something like that for myself, it's something that seems so small and silly but in reality it's a huge thing that can improve a person's quality of life so much, especially people who have had trauma and deal witg serious mental health issues.
@yalejosieАй бұрын
Christ this made me cry. As someone who became a survivor at 16, I would've KILLED for my parents to be this kind and gentle. Laura, you are changing lives for the better for forever ❤
@kimberlycleveland9724 ай бұрын
I'm a foster care giver and this is so helpful. Thank you
@stripes4954 ай бұрын
You are an amazing human, Laura, I'm so grateful that the kids/teens that live with you during their time of need will get someone so supportive. Knowing that there are people like you meeting the needs that weren't met for survivors such as myself is good to know. I hope to be that person for someone who needs it in the future. You are changing the lives of our younger humans by showing them compassion and setting them up for a positive future.
@sapphicalix3 ай бұрын
I was completely fine until you said “I believe you” and then I started sobbing out of nowhere. I wish I could have anyone. Literally anyone. Support me like this, at this level, ever. I’ve never even had someone offer me up an “I believe you” without me begging for it. Thank you for being you. Seriously. You have no idea how much you’re changing these kid’s lives.
@merrybluegirl89304 ай бұрын
This hurts my heart that so many adults grew up with traumatic childhoods and you seem so comforting and kind.💛
@amateurorator3 ай бұрын
If I had this kind of support when I was a kid, I would have saved myself years of therapy. You are doing such a good job and an ever better job at showing others how it can be done. These are great tips for any parent! ❤
@rribbonssАй бұрын
While few of the situations that these kids have dealt with apply to me, every time I watch these videos it feels like therapy. This is how much respect a human deserves! Regardless of age or anything, everybody is deserving of respect and empathy. Of course, in this case she is making a concerted effort to see things from their POV and predict their needs & not let her own experiences interfere with how she interacts with them, which can’t be expected of everyone all the time, but it’s so refreshing to see.
@_missgirl3 ай бұрын
as a former foster teen who survived physical and sexual violence, this video means the world to me. literally started crying halfway through. thank you for creating spaces like this ❤️
@whoyawith94944 ай бұрын
Knowing you are in the world helping young people is so healing for the universe. 💜
@RainCheck797Ай бұрын
Can we teach *actual* parents to be this supportive. "I believe you" would have changed my life.
@user-zz4ux4rm4n4 ай бұрын
One of the best things I've been told by someone is along the lines of "don't care what people think if you know you didn't do anything wrong" essentially meaning don't stress over things that other people have said when you know you haven't done anything wrong
@annedavis33403 ай бұрын
Caveat: some survivors have been groomed and led to believe what happened is *because* they did something wrong (AND THEY DIDN'T! And what happened wasn't their fault) Make sure you make clear that what happened was NOT because they did something. And *then* flow into that thing about not feeling bad about things unless it's something they did.
@calleylewis3 ай бұрын
This is the most beautiful and healing thing I've ever seen. I was never in the system, but probably should have been. Watching these videos of an adult speaking to a teen like this... this is something I really needed.
@RadishTheFool4 ай бұрын
A variant that can also be very powerful: I may not understand X, but I believe you. And I can see and understand that this is Y [important, difficult, stressful, etc] for you. I always want to support and help, let's try and figure out ways that I can make a difference in a positive way. Neither of us knows all the answers, but we can try and find some of them together. For some people, it can be hurtful if others say they understand when it feels like they truly don't. And it can feel so lonely if it doesn't feel like anyone could ever understand. Confirming that experience of not feeling understood and ALSO showing that we believe and support someone can be SO powerful. Because so often sympathy, support, belief, even validation hinge upon others understanding the experience. Whereas that's not at all a requirement for providing any of those. If we can model that supportive mindset, and consistently back it up with our words and actions, we have shown that kindness and support exist, and what they can look like.
@TansyBlue4 ай бұрын
100% agree with the "I understand" thing, like I had to spend several days in intensive care as a teenager after nearly dying, when people who've had the same condition as me but in a much more minor way tell me that they understand it feels like it's minimising and dismissing my experience. I know they don't mean it like that but it still feels like it.
@summahthevegan37964 ай бұрын
As a CPS teen I WISH id had that respect & trust. Im Crying 😿😿😿😿😿😿
@justonearepa3 ай бұрын
“It wasn’t your fault” is something I didn’t hear for WAY too long. This was so healing and it warms my heart to know that there are people like you in the world.
@wintig242 ай бұрын
The respecting space is something I believe ALL teen parents should do. My mom has simply decided that my(14) bedroom is her space, and will PICK MY LOCK if I won't open my door after a spat. It's gotten to the point where my brother has learned how to do it, because it's not exactly a difficult lock to pick. I feel unsafe in my own room sometimes because of this. You are an amazing woman. I know that if I were in foster care, I would feel very safe and loved and respected in your home. You're doing a wonderful job.
@sophiabright83713 ай бұрын
I really appreciate your modeling healthy communication! We can all use this! I am so glad I clicked on your posts. Beautiful. THANK YOU!
@sorou3 ай бұрын
damn the “we can leave at any time” really hit me hard yall 😢
@Sretep41442 ай бұрын
Last one made me cry as well as the knocking conversation ❤❤❤❤❤
@Skeleton_sky4 ай бұрын
As someone who became a survivor myself at age 6... i can't even fathom how much help this would have been for me. If i had someone like this, I'd probably be so healthy ❤❤❤❤ Thankyou for sharing this type of message to the world❤
@ElenaSmith-hi8el4 ай бұрын
I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine how hard that was for you, you’re very strong ❤
@megan8933 ай бұрын
Try being like that with yourself. Some of those things she said might be reaffirming for you to hear. I often tell myself affirming things that honestly, I wish people would have told me. Hope it helps 🙏❤️
@joylucio44303 ай бұрын
just hearing those words already helped me so much today. thank you
@WeareallonewithCreator3 ай бұрын
I've been adopted 3 times, at 3 months old, at 8 and at 15 and a half. Never one day did they get on my level or make things not about them. Bless you always and keep it up!
@cat0holic3 ай бұрын
Your foster children are so lucky to have you. Foster families are lucky to have your guidance. I'm in awe of the work you do.
@AKW19843 ай бұрын
There's so many awful foster parents out there, but you are one of the good ones ❤❤❤ keep being the loving person you are.
@tonyascarlett24132 ай бұрын
God bless you and your husband. Y'all are heroes.
@laurenm.63203 ай бұрын
These videos help me reflect on what behaviors I want to have as a parent
@alyssablackartist3 ай бұрын
As a survivor of SA, thank you. I was an adult both times, but I needed the same kind of caring, empathetic responses. I can only imagine how much that’s needed when you’re a teenager in foster care. Thank you for giving the kids you care for so much time and thought. You’re truly a special person.
@sowmanyseedlingsАй бұрын
You are an amazing woman. I appreciate what you do for these kids SO much
@misfitbritt3 ай бұрын
Holy shit. This one got me fucked up! Boy, did I need you when I was a kiddo! You're helping these kiddos in soooo many ways! Truly a safe space for them and a 2nd chance at life! Ugh, I need a tissue 🫶🥹🙏
@frisullem3892Ай бұрын
She reminds me of my old foster mum, sweetest lady ever
@EvolvedSungod2 ай бұрын
As an adult who was a foster kid, I can't tell you how much these videos mean and how wonderful they are for foster kids in need of family
@FriendlysRage1Ай бұрын
This was...so therapeutic to me. I cried.
@alocebruh79434 ай бұрын
I wish I had a foster parent like you when I was a in the system. Seeing this video after my experiences kind healed smth in me.
@kristenglenn7026Ай бұрын
You are amazing! Not only for taking these kids in that need & deserve a safe place but sharing with as many people as you can reach the little things that make the biggest difference in their experiences!
@Theviolentredpanda3 ай бұрын
One day, I want to be a foster parent and I really appreciate this. My childhood wasn't easy, but it definitely wasn't hard like this, but I would love to be eventually financially stable enough to provide an environment for a kid who needed it. Thanks for this!
@DickinsonCassidyАй бұрын
These videos always feel so bittersweet to me. It's so nice to see someone willing and spreading awareness and help for those effected but it makes me sad because I can't help but think of how common it is and that's why she is so good and trying to help others. It's awful that this has to exist but I'm glad that, since it does have to exist, she is trying to help others too.
@AkilaBriggs3 ай бұрын
As a former foster person your videos always make me so happy. I wish more Foster families were like this
@jeremiahwilleford21773 ай бұрын
Please, stay safe and continue helping these people. Not only these adults you teach, but these kids you help learn how to heal and to have a healthy, respectful, professional relationship. You are a teacher, you are a parent, you are a lover. Keep being you and keep your beautiful smile.
@voidmatic3 ай бұрын
I think one big thing (this is more about the talking at the end of the clip than anything) that some folks don't understand is yes, saying things like "I believe you" and "its not your fault" might seem like obvious things that don't even need clarifying to you, but to survivors of SA / abuse, those feelings are not a given, and hearing something as simple as that can make such a massive difference.
@nicemomasmr2 ай бұрын
These videos are very healing.
@caitlinlouiseee3 ай бұрын
I’m not the core audience for these but I just feel like your content is SO important and helpful for so many people!!! I love it when people give examples of what TO do, not just what is unhelpful. Super well done!!
@HollieKnight13 ай бұрын
I wish my foster mom was like this I’m not allowed to be what I want And have no privacy And a lot more
@grl79683 ай бұрын
This is really great to see. Thank you for sharing.
@REBEKAHJOHNSON-lh6xh4 ай бұрын
I’ve never had a foster care experience, but this hit me deep. Maybe from childhood trauma within my family, but I agree trauma informed care, respect and support are super vital!!
@mo11ycx3 ай бұрын
as a foster child now this is vital in feeling safe in ur environment you nailed it ❤️
@Not0a0City0Girl04 ай бұрын
My healing inner teenage appreciates you so much for the grace and compassion you give.
@cathygiuliana90893 ай бұрын
God bless this angel of a Foster Parent!🙏🏻🌹
@charitylboisseau7526Ай бұрын
I've never been through any of this, but your videos make me feel so soothed and comforted.
@ABBYBENORMALАй бұрын
I feel it in my heart that this is going to happen to me one day. That I will be a Foster Parent to a teen/s. It’s been on my heart for many many years & why you all of the sudden out of no where popped up in my feed. 🖤
@bamagirl0983 ай бұрын
This is incredible. I love watching your stories. They are beautiful. The night light option was the best part
@katejohnson35983 ай бұрын
This made me cry ❤ as a survivor myself, I wish someone had been there for me like this
@wendymiesowitz1897Ай бұрын
We just love and appreciate your vids. Thank you for being a good role model we can all learn from.
@jolo3118Ай бұрын
I wish you had been my foster parent instead of the plethora of asshats that tossed me from one house to the next. Bless you for what you do. 💕💕
@thanbcarter3 ай бұрын
"you're not alone in this experience" , damn that got me I wish I had that support
@KL5GUАй бұрын
I wish I had someone like you in my life as a teen- thank you for making this content. You're absolutely wonderful.
@mattrose994 ай бұрын
One day I really wanna foster kids 10+, and I always get told Ill regret it cuz of the assumption that theyll be hardened criminals. This education is so important cuz thier just kids going through a very difficult time in a new place with strangers caring for them. I just wanna be a safe place for them to stay until they can hopefully go home.
@darkcreatureinadarkroom16174 ай бұрын
Kids live up to the expectations placed on them by the adults surrounding them, so what prejudice creates is only self-fulfilling prophecies that don't help anybody. That says more about the people making such statements than about the subjects of those statements. But your heart is in the right place, and I wish you all the best ❤
@MelindaKerr-ji7tnАй бұрын
Honey you are truly one in a million if no one else has said it I appreciate you