hey sorry all that happend to you! do you have any Advice to help us foster parents help teens?

I am 13 as well and I can't imagine going through that I hope your situation is better now! Stay safe ❤️

I'm sorry I know that probably means nothing to you but I truly am I hope life gets a whole lot better for you. I hope you get to live the best life in the world because you deserve the world. Sending a virtual hug because you are loved.

i'm so sorry that has happened. there's so much horrible stuff in the world, and i hope you go into a better place. many hugs from a far!!

Sorry all that happened to you, I hope you’re better now tho!

Does it help if you do a sink shower? Where you just wash your hair with the spray nozzle from the kitchen sink, or lean over the bath tub with a detachable shower head? You don't even have to take off clothes for that. I have sensory issues so sometimes I prefer to just wash my hair that way and not do the whole shower/bath thing, so I was just wondering if that would work as an option for people who are uncomfortable showering for other reasons?

Me too! I’ve been waiting so long and will keep waiting because I’ve always wanted to that

I’m planning on adopting at least 1 kid/teen when I’m around 30. This is my motivation to get a good job

I want to to I’m just afraid I’ll get attached

ya same and im gay

I have always wanted to!

You do matter I am so glad you know that.

I'm 14 too and it makes me so sad to see these kids living horrible lives I hope they all get to have the best lives as soon as possible they all deserve the world.

Same. I know I’d probably want to take care of kids/teens at one point, and through these videos and further research, I realized being a foster parent might be what I want to do in the future!

I'd love to be an author too, and fostering would be wonderful

part of getting your license is training! the state will support you so much along the way and there are many resources!

I think we're both crying

I’m smiling it’s so heartwarming to see people going out of their way to make foster children feel safe

I’m not in foster care but I’m seventeen and I live with abusive parents who’ve never been caught, and I was thinking about this type of thing throughout the whole video. Abusers don’t change. I know so many people with stories like mine, and yet never I’ve heard of abusers who put in the work to become aware of their own monstrosity and then improve themselves for their kids. People who abuse other people just aren’t willing to take responsibility for their actions and relationships. It’s why they’re abusers in the first place. Tonight is the first time I’ve ever even thought about fostering. I already hold myself to a huge standard when it comes to having kids; since I was young, I’ve been terrified of being for someone else what my parents are to me. I take caring for children so seriously, and since I intend to raise my own someday, I know I won’t be able to live with myself unless I’m being the best parent and person I can be for them at all times. On top of that, it’s my dream to become a high school teacher, so I might end up working with children all the time. I feel a huge responsibility to treat every single child I meet with love and fairness, and that passion drives a lot of what I want to do in life. Amidst all that, adoption and fostering were never really trajectories I thought about because I figured I didn’t want to take on more than I could handle if I already plan to have kids. But then a lone TikTok came up on my recommended page just now (the one with the lady preparing the shower for her foster teens) and something about it just hit. I started watching more content about it. I never really thought about the foster program as a whole. I paused this video midway through and looked into it, and it slammed into me just how little and how much impact foster parents have over their foster kids at the same time - they’re caring for them and giving them what they might’ve never had, but they’re haunted by the knowledge that they’re gonna have to throw these kids back into a den of wolves sooner or later. It sounds devastating from every perspective, but it also magnifies the responsibility of a foster parent to make every action count. Every single trait they exemplify for their foster kids can teach them about healthy relationships and provide them with love they never received. Every thoughtful deed can mean the world for someone whose world will be shattered again eventually. This is the first time I really contemplated any of this. Foster care strikes a sudden chord with me the more I think about it. I mean, it feels so messed up to return a kid to the source of all their trauma, but if there’s a way to make their life better before that inevitably happens, I’m all for that part. Overall, I’m not completely sure if foster care in my future, but if I find that it still feels right one day and I’m in the place for it, it could be something I endeavor to do. I’m so sorry for what you’ve went through. The injustice you’ve detailed in your life is nauseating and it makes me so upset that this is how the system operates. At the same time it makes me so happy to know that you’ve rebuilt yourself after all that. Thank you for sharing your story 💞 and if you have any more thoughts or advice to share I’d love to read. You’re amazing and strong, have a brilliant life :))

@@sophiaredwood5825 being a foster parent is something I plan to do later after my child is grown. Not I'm any way applying this to you but there are a lot of foster parents out there just for the money. That's why a lot of ex foster kids who know the system and managed to claw their way to a decent life choose to do foster parenting as we know for the most part exactly what these kids are feeling or even went through as we felt the fear and frustration on not being wanted. I was in one home where the parents were money driven they had their own kids and myself which wasn't a problem except that they always gave me worn clothes then their child would get a hot meal and I'd get a sandwich as a piece of fruit for example. I did meet a woman eventually who was a good foster parent she also was in the system and had a rough childhood so she understood my frustrations and fear of rejection doing things to make me feel comfortable. She also was a good voice for me with my emotions to my social worker even though I was a teen at the time. If you do choose to foster later on if your genuine I commend you. Know that the older foster children are the ones nobody wants as most parents mainly take in younger kids as they hope to be able to potentially adopt them while pushing older ones to the side. They also hope the younger ones will forget the trauma and be easier than the older ones who have more baggage. My last foster mom only wanted to take older teen girls for this reason and also they go on road trips and little kids don't travel well lol. Fostering won't be easy either since your going to get major push back from the kid who will act out bad as they are somewhere they don't feel comfortable and no matter the age expect you to give up on them and not care abandoning them just like everyone else did. I went through that phase with my last foster and I was one of the more well behaved good kids out of my agency. Your young so you have a lot of time to grow up and consider whether it's something you wanna do later so no rush. It's not an easy job no matter the age of the child and a huge wake up call since your dealing with majorly broken humans...

@@rebeccaanamu812 Thank you so much for typing all this out for me!! 🥺💞 It all means so much and I appreciate it. I’ll be keeping a lot of your story and advice in mind the more I think about this. Thanks again 💞

I’ve already decided to foster to adopt.

Same !

adoption is another great option, it helps kids get permanent homes

while i agree with you that the children should not be shown at all i have to disagree on your opinion about bath time a what not, Im interested in fostering myself and would have never thought about bath time making a child uncomfortable so i think these ideas are great for someone looking to foster and trying to learn all they can to help the children that may come into their care.

I think on the feelings part, they're generalizing so you can be prepared..

Woah, do NOT assume things that harshly, that’s an example of an opinion that you need to keep to yourself.

@@emilyblocher4224 assuming these people are using their foster kids to gain like and that crap. Wrong.

@@emilyblocher4224 well I agree with you. :)

i think so

Yes! Definitely. I grew up with foster siblings all the time (I was biological, fostered siblings) they need more people willing to adopt older kids! Because most people would rather have younger kids because their ‘cuter’ and the teens get left out. By all means YES they people to adopt teens! Have a great day

@@margaritapeggyschuylervanr2486 thank you for the information! I love your name:)

@@spins_jj9820 thank you so much!

@@margaritapeggyschuylervanr2486 I’m willing to adopt teens and if they have siblings I’ll adopt their siblings to.

I agree, if you hurt your child you do not deserve to have them. But it turns out, so I've heard from one of these foster parents, the majority of the time kids get taken away is due to poverty, which is labeled by CPS as "neglect". In these cases parents usually try their very best for their kids but are unable to pay for their neccessities to keep them clean and fed.

I’m pretty sure all the kids whose faces weren’t censored are bio/adopted children. I know I was confused about those two little boys shopping until it was revealed they were not the foster kids being talked about, but shopping in preparation for their arrival.

I feel like a light/pastel blue or green would be cute 💙 lmk what yall end up going with beause now I'm invested

Hey boo

Those are her biological children picking stuff for the foster children coming later. You are correct though, it is illegal to show your foster children's faces on social media because it can potentially endanger them.

@@antonlavern7301 oh okay I was very concern for a second

Those are the womans biological children picking out items for the foster children they will be taken in later on 😊 But you're correct, it is not legal to post your foster childrens face on social media

@@antonlavern7301 oh phew, I was really worried, thank you for clarifying

kids who are in foster care, often eventually leave the foster home either to go home if that ends up being an option or if they're adopted by another family.

You should definitely speak to another trusted adult in your life. This is mental abuse!! I hope your situation is better now 💗

Those are not foster children, those are that woman's biological children picking out items for the foster kids that are going to their home later that day.