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In stark contrast to Ross and Rachel, who were spoiled by their parents, Monica and Chandler were more or less ignored by theirs. This explains why their relationship was extremely precious to them, and they worked harder to maintain it.

I disagree a little with “they slipped into bed”. When Monica first kissed Chandler, he specifically stopped her and asked “how drunk are you?” The answer? “Drunk enough that I know I want to do this, not so drunk that you should feel like you’re taking advantage.” As Chandler responded, “That’s the perfect amount.” 😉😂

Ross and Rachel were an example of an unpredictable, yet toxic couple. Joey and Phoebe were the perfect depiction of a platonic Guy/Girl friendship. Monica and Chandler were the best representation of a loving, caring couple, where each partner supports each other mutually.

Awe I really wish you had done the scene where Monica feels sad because someone called her high maintenance and Chandler very sweetly states that he loves maintaining her. I always loved that it wasn't just "No you're not honey don't worry!" I loved that he recognized and was honest that she had some traits that others could see that way, some flaws, but he didn't see them that way and loved that part of her because it gave him more ways to love her.

One of my favorite Monica/ Chandler relationship episodes is when the gang meets this male chef who has everything in common with Monica. Every preference, every opinion, every like or dislike. Everyone keeps calling him Monica’s soulmate and it makes Chandler insecure. Finally he confesses his vulnerability to her, how maybe she’s meant to be with that guy, how that guy might be her soulmate. And Monica says she doesn’t actually believe in soulmates, or fate, or finding someone. But choosing someone and putting in the work. That by choosing each other they have become soulmates. I really loved her point of view for being more realistic but still romantic. I think it was after that ep they started using the phrase soulmates more often. ❤️

I’m so glad Ross and Rachel are being called out for being an awful couple and that Chandler and Monica have emerged as the true iconic couple from the show. The more we praise Monica and Chandler and call out Ross and Rachel, the more people can start writing more relationships that are healthy onscreen.

Been hoping for this relationship to be covered. When Chandler assumes they will have to break up and Monica assures him that it was a fight and they can deal with it and move on, that is when I realized what the writers were doing with them.

The writers actually meant to have the scene in London as a fling, a one-off thing in Chandler-Monica story. It was the audience's minute long applause that set the deal and made them realize that it should be permanent.

I also like this moment when they're organising the wedding and are fighting about Chandler's money he doesn't want to use for it, and when he says he wanted to keep it for buying a house for their kids and everything... And Monica thinks about it to finally say "I don't want a wedding. I want a marriage". It's not just about ONE day that's supposed to be "special", it's about building a relationship and spend your life with someone.

My favorite Chandler Monica moment is just after the wedding where she opened all the presents and he wound up kissing another woman to recreate the candid photos and they pretty much instantly just agreed they both screwed up and to call it even high fived and let it go. No arguing who did the worse thing or why it was bad just wow we both blew it let's not do it again and get on with being married

I loved the scene when chandler tells monica his fantasy about their life together with children. It shows how far his come in letting go of his baggage about commitment.

There is an episode, I think it's called 'The One with Chandler's work laugh', where M & C's relationship really acts as an example to follow. Chandler laughs at his boss' jokes even though they are terrible and his laugh is weird. Monica catches wind of this at a work party that Chandler got invited to and asks him what's up, he explains and she does it too to make a good impression. It works, so well in fact that the boss and his wife invite them to tennis. Monica, being competitive, refuses to let them win the match while Chandler, anxious about the possible consequences this might have to his job, tries to persuade her to let them win just one round. When that fails, he starts playing bad on purpose. M & C lose and they are invited to their boss' place to eat and drink some coffee at a later time. Monica is furious, not because of the match but because of how different Chandler acts around his boss. She nevertheless says yes to one final coffee at their house. When they get there, Chandler goes through his usual routine. Monica says that this will be it for her hanging around with his boss and his wife. When Chandler says that him laughing at his boss' jokes is not a big deal, Monica says ' I'd rather not hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect'. Chandler is a bit taken aback because this is probably the first time a girl said something like that to him. So when his boss comes back to the table and tells another unfunny joke, Chandler doesn't laugh. When his boss takes offense to that and asks him what's wrong with him, Chandler replies that he simply didn't think the joke was funny. When his boss replies with 'excuse me?', Monica IMMEDIATELY understands what's about to happen and jumps in to 'explain' the joke to Chandler to pull his ass out of the fire she put him in. When Chandler 'understands', M & C start fake laughing together and all is well. Relationship goals right there.

One clip you didn't show was when Monica got all competitive with Phoebe about how often they were having sex. Monica was freaked out about how her relationship with Chandler had "settled down", but Chandler made a really important point. He told her that he'd never made it past the honeymoon phase of a relationship and still wanted to be around the person. I thought that was so sweet, & a great message about wanting a relationship with endurance, not just sex & the feeling of newness.

Here's how I ranked the relationships 1. Monica & Chandler 2. Phoebe & Mike 3. Joey & Food 4. Janice & her new husband 5. Every other relation that isn't Ross & Rachel

“The One Where Everyone Finds Out” is one of my favorite things ever. A lot of this series annoys me when I go back and rewatch it (Fat Monica can rot in hell), but that episode is SO brilliant. Phoebe and Chandler trying to seduce each other, hoping the other one would break… my god that’s great writing. All that “they don’t know we know they know we know” 🤣🤣🤣

I love Chandler and Monica, but I think that some of the best stuff that Friends did with them came after they got married. Their struggle to have a baby is really real and important to a lot of people, and the conversation that Chandler had with the young Surrogate about how much Monica wants a baby really speaks to me and I was hoping you'd include it in this video.

Chandler and Monica were probably one of the first examples of a healthy, loving couple I saw on TV. So much of TV and our culture feels like it glorifies the drama and these two are such a breath of fresh air. I personally would love to see ya'll cover The Good Place, whether it's just covering Chidi and Eleanor's relationship or the whole core of the show about people's capability to change and get better!

You left out one of my favorite scenes/quotes from their relationship. There’s an episode where Monica is struggling with the fact that people perceive her as high maintenance. But when she asks Chandler for support, he doesn’t tell her that she’s not high maintenance. He admits that she is but says that it’s ok because he likes maintaining her. And I think that’s what makes a good relationship. He doesn’t lie for her. But he does accept and embrace her even with her “flaws.”

That speech Chandler made to Erica when he was trying to convince her to let them have the babies will always stick with me.

The next couple that needs to be therapized is Jess and Nick from New girl. They had one of the healthiest friendships/relationships that I have seen on television.

I would love to see you react to more of Monica and Chandler. Their communication skills when problem solving or support while dealing with infertility issues.

I really like that bit about keeping both eyes open while dating but when you choose them, keep your eyes half closed & focus on the positives. That’s a nice way to put it.

If you watch the early seasons, Chandler is very comfortable and even affectionate with Monica, probably because he's known her the longest as his best friend's sister. They would be in the café and her legs would be draped over his or his arm would be around her shoulders. Chandler was always able to respect his friendship with all the girls and be affectionate without being sexual.

I'm really glad an actual therapist validated my thoughts of Chandler and Monica being a pretty healthy relationship for a sitcom.

Whatever hangups people have about Friends, Chandler and Monicas proposal scene is probably my favourite proposal scene on film, I love it!

Hot Take: At some point in the series, the writers tried to make Rachel and Joey a thing, and I think the only reason they decided to ruin that is because the series already had a friends-to-lovers situation and the fans wanted Ross and Rachel, but realistically, though they might've not been perfect for each other the way Monica and Chandler are, Joey was a WAY better match for Rachel than Ross was. Sidebar: my Fiance's name is Chandler and we were a best friends to FWB to Relationship situation as well. No I am not a chef.

Friends needed Ross and Rachel. Their relationship was high drama and kept people guessing. Monica and Chandler is a healthy relationship. Unfortunately it is hard (not impossible) to create drama out of this.

I love how this is less "therapized Chandler and Monica" and more "therapists admires Chandler and Monica".

As someone struggling with infertility after a lifetime of wanting to get pregnant, what I really respect about Chandler and Monica's relationship is their ability to adapt in the end when things don't work out for them. (Of course they did manage to adopt in Hollywood time. That is, way *way* faster than real life time. But still...) Also Monica was my favourite character. Also, please please please do Fawlty Towers!!

Ross and Rachel are terrible together. Chandler and Monica are largely stable and healthy, if exaggerated for comedic purposes from time to time.

My husband and I got together in a similar way to them. It took a few (dozen) shots of tequila for me to have the courage to speak up and we ended up spending the night together after being friends for months. He is my best friend and we are going on two years married this year. Chandler and Monica remind me of my hubby and I

When I was younger I always thought Monica and Chandler were boring and throughly enjoyed the Ross and Rachel passion/will they won’t they. Now that I’m older it’s just so frustrating watching the drama and now find the healthy relationship more endearing and entertaining to watch because life experience and past relationships taught me which one was preferable.

This has recently been my favorite relationship because as a grown up I learned how much this relationship is admire-able to me and for me. Sheldon and Amy is another relationship that I admire.

"you make me happier than I ever thought I could be and, if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same"

Thank God that FRIENDS depicted these two getting together. It is so nice to see healthy examples of relationships. Do a video on Marshall and Lily from How and Met your Mother and a video with Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99 next

Monica and Chandler have always been my 'comfort couple'. It certainly affected how I wanted my relationships to be when I was a kid

I'd love a part two of you analyzing their dynsmic as a merried couple and as a couple that lived together. One of my faves from the whole show was when Chandler couldn't sleep. I just loved how raw and realistic their relationship was during the scenes of that episode. Being together, cohsbitation, just... a real, loving couple comfortable with eachother.

YES!!! Mondler is such a fantastic couple. They compliment each other. They challenge each other. They bring out the best in each other. They have their up's and down's, but at the end of the day, they just love each other and want it to work

Can you do cinema therapy perks of being a wallflower? There is so much i would love to hear you and Alans take on with that movie, especially the trauma pschycology stuff

It is interesting to me how the most toxic yet famous relationship on the show is Rachel and Ross but the most healthy one is not everyone's first choice when talking about relationships in Friends means.

Monica and Chandler's proposal makes me cry every time. The acting is just incredible

New Girl! - Nick & Jess and Cece & Schmidt

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get your take on Hal and Lois from Malcolm in the Middle. They have become one of my most favorite couples in life and I would be curious to see how you saw them.

my favorite relationship is phoebe and joey. their friendship is so pure and kind and yes they enjoy the occasional flirt but there's no romantic attraction they're a mix between brother/sister and chandler and monica😊

The One Where Everybody Knows is definitely the most epic episode ever! Chandler & Monica definitely cultivated a desire for friendships that turn into romance. Love that they show friendship romances is possible and beautiful. Ross & Rachel are sadly the more toxic ones. I don’t believe it was fair for Rachel to give up her career path she was set on. A compromise that honored her new path could have been made if Ross was open to it. Love these therapist takes on these tv show couples! 🥰💜🌈

As a child of parents who have been friends since they were student. I can tell you how good it is. Because they are in same group so there's no jealous or hating each other's friends. They also went to college reunion together every years. I wish I'll have this kind of relationship.😊

I wish you had included the scene where Chandler tell's Monica that she is high maintenance but he likes maintaining her.

Not a classic but a new show, Nick and Charlie in Heartstopper!

One of my favorite fictional couples. Real goals there.

As an Aromantic person, I love my partner as a friend above everything. I lvoe him in the same light as I love my friends and chosen family. They are all my family and I could not imagine being in a relationship with some one and not feel a friendship or not have that friend dinamic as chandler and monica have. Its just the most beautiful feeling when you can be who you are feely with someone and have them joke with you, laugh with you and just be your friend through everthing.

Top 5 Healthiest relationships I saw series: 1 leslie & ben ( parks&recreation) 2 charlie & nick (heartstopper) 3 jake & amy (brooklyn 99) 4 eleanor & chidi ( the good place) 5 monica & chandler (friends)

I loved Joey and Rachel he was so sweet to her and had such a great sense of humor.

I once watched Friends all the way through on Netflix skipping only to the Chandler/Monica scenes, and it was brilliant.

One of my favourite things about Chandler and Monica is that they read books and watch shows about relationships. They're constantly putting in the work to make their relationship better. I think that's one of the reasons why they have such a healthy relationship with great communication.

Chandler and Monica is the clear number one, but number two is the very underrated Phoebe and Mike

This was always my favourite relationship on friends. I grew up watching friends with my mum and Chandler & Monica were the first healthy relationship I ever saw in my life and I couldn’t have asked for a better gold standard to set the example for me considering the relationship between my mum & step dad ended with a lot of toxicity. Now for my Friends relationship tier list… 1. Chandler & Monica 2. Phoebe & Mike 3. Ross & Rachel

This channel honestly helped with getting better perspective.

I literally exclaimed “YEAHHHH!!” as soon as I saw the notification

I would like to hear your thoughts about Lily and Marshal from HIMYM

i feel like you would have a great time going through the relationships in the good place, especially chidi and eleanor

Add Chidi & Eleanor to your list, please!

All my relationships started with friendship. I don't understand how people jump into sex and relationships with someone they met a few days ago...

Monica and Chandler are my favorite couple on the show!

I would love to see you talk about the relationships of The Good Place please

I would love to see your take on their relationship as they try to have a baby, the friendship between Phoebe and Joey, and the relationship between Phoebe and Mike

This relationship was so perfectly well written

I kinda want you to react to Niles and Daphne relationship from Frasier, im very curious about your POV either that or Frasier and Roz's friendship.

Really good relationship advice. I particularly like the eyes wide open when dating and then half shut when you're married. Now that's how you get a marriage that lasts until death.

I personally can't stand watching Friends because so much screentime is spent with Ross and Rachel 😂 Chandler and Monica feel like the only breather we can get. Their relationship is based on friendship and trust. It's beautiful.

Well i have a funny story 😂 i’m named after Jennifer aniston in her role as Rachel and i dated someone named Joey once and apparently he was named after joey from friends 😂😂😂

Love your take on things Jonathan 😄 maybe another relationship would be Leonard and Penny or Sheldon and Amy from The Big Bang Theory 😀

Therapize How I Met Your Mother; Marshall and Lily are goals!

Hello! Jonathan! I was wondering when you were gonna do another Euphoria video, I am specifically asking about Rue and her family. How do we help family members who are abusing substances? What is a healthy way to rebuild a relationship with them if they do recover? Thank you if you read this comment!

Jake and Amy from Brooklyn99 also appear to have a healthy relationship, i would love to hear what you think

Could you review fran and maxwell from the nanny ?

I think what's important here is that these characters were self-aware...they didn't need to be perfect, but self awareness is what makes us reflect about how we can do better with ourselves and in relationships...and this counts for friendships as well!

Nick and Jess from New Girl or Eleanor and Chidi from The Good Place need to get therapized!

Great advice and perspective as always. Thank you for these analyses.

Hey! I stumbled on this video and the very start "ahem...Ross&Rachel" hooked me up. I always tell my husband that I'd any day be Chandler Monica....accepting our flaws, brushing past the negativity, be each other's power tools, support system and above all, BEST FRIENDS" Something which we don't see in most relationships these days.

Dammit, ever since I got married all of the even halfway decent engagement and marriage scenes in shows make me cry.

so excited to watch this video!!

Wow I was not expecting to sob while watching this 😂 you are so well spoken I love these videos

Absolutely my favorite TV couple. And they remind me a lot of my husband and I, who were friends first and decided to try this whole relationship thing out. Turned out to be a great fit for both of us. There was a tiny bit of alcohol involved in our first date as well, but that mostly broke the ice on what we’d been wanting to do anyway. He’s my best friend, the best friend I’ve ever had.

I love every part of this video. Thank you so much for analyzing one of the greatest TV couples ever! 🤗

I would have loved to hear your thoughts on their relationship after the wedding. There are some really sweet moments there!

You should therapise Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99 next

They have the best relationships of TV of all time ❤️

Well said 👏🏼

I was hanging out with a close friend 3 years ago and he asked me if he could kiss me. Now we are living together and discussing how to build a life together. It's that quote from Jono, decide don't slide which really got me reminiscing about that time as I was asked a question by someone who I was friends with for a long time and that decision to say yes was the best I decision I ever made

glad u said Chandler and Monica shared a wonderful and healthy relationship cause I always thought that. I loved Mondler always.

I never thought that Monica and Chandler could be thought of as healthy, but it does make sense. I would LOVE it if you reacted to BBC's Merlin. Its a 5 season show and it has great characters! A sitcom would be House. It has slightly worse relationships than Twilight

They talked about Chandler’s attraction to Monica by at the end of season 3

Loved this one. Got a question: you said "sex does change things". We all (speaking from our sociocultural pov) know that that's true. But which are the mechanisms, apart from the social ones, that make it that way? Meaning psychological processes, etc. Thanks for your awesome work!

Looking at Chandler he was a classic fearful avoidant and Monica really helped him create what a healthy relationship should be. He didn’t have the best parents because of them divorcing and being bitter with each other. He had a mother and father trauma bond of being abandoned and believing that he wasn’t loved or good enough for a relationship. He feared failure and commitment which left him confused with his attachment style. Like you said it helped that he was friends with Monica which made it easy when they got together. Also with her maturity and wisdom she helped him feel safe to be vulnerable and face his fear of commitment. Like the fight aftermath when he thought it was over she gently came in with compassion and reassure him that fights are ok and you work through them. As long as you come together respectful and solve your issues creates a healthy committed, long lasting love. I feel this is a perfect example of what a relationship is in real life. That we all thought we wanted to be like Ross and Rachel relationship, which was full of passion, push and pulls, and not working through there own mistakes and toxic behaviours. That actually Monica and Chandler’s is what we all want. To be with someone we feel safe, open, authentic and comfortable with. To support each other, work on their differences and behaviours and worth fighting for.

I'd love it if you did some of the relationships from Sex and The City romantic and/or friendship. There is a lot to discuss there.

My favorite relationship from Friends, Monica and Chandler💕

I've seen a few of these analysis of Monica and Chandler, and one thing no one ever goes into is their lives AFTER they get married, how they still love and support each other and how they cope with everyday struggles, especially Monica's inability to conceive. There is a scene no one ever goes into, where after Chandler realizes they may have lost their chance to adopt a baby from a pregnant woman, he goes to talk to her and tells her how wonderful Monica is and what a great mother she would be. I mean, how many women would like their husbands to talk to someone about them like that?

My fave has always been Phoebe and Mike. He accepted her for who she was and never asked her to change, defending her to his family even.

I'd totally be down for a Part 2 of Chandler and Monica focusing on their marriage and how they handled issues - Deciding to have kids, Chandler getting a new job and making a long-distance relationship work, tackling infertility and finally adoption.