It’s called gaslighting

​@@kozuet9537 yeah I have a lot of experience with this kind of women

@@mrbro02 yeah I would dip and post about her affair and op is cuckold and he knows that

​@@mrbro02this kind of women? Are you saying this is a type and there's another breed untainted by the evils of modernity?

@@svenolsen8184 there are good people in this world Do you believe that bad people live in this world If so There must be good people also And every woman is not like that Some women cheat like some men cheat That doesn't mean everyone is a cheater

She's so disrespectful 😮. She doesn't care about her husband 😢. She made me so angry 😡😡😡💢💢💢

I get it, I can sympathize with liking the emotional pain

This is so f’d up

If I was him, the moment she makes me shake his hand, I’mma shake her hand as well and give her a ‘present’ with divorce papers in. I don’t care if it ruins her day, she ruined his day. She better be lucky I didn’t give it to her on Valentine’s Day, our anniversary, her birthday or on Christmas Day.

@@iamdragonkrys I don't think she doesn't care for him. I think the mind games of her mother (if her dad is anything to go by) got to her. Like pre marriage and post marriage are seperate lives entirely and anybody sees it like that. I think she really, absolutely believed that she didn't something worng in THIS life, her married life. That is major league compartementalisation, I agree, but I am not angry but concerned. Because that kind of thinking shows a lot of mental issues underneath that. OOPs reaction plus her own families (siste's and father's) reaction have shown her that what she perceives as normal and what society deems normal differ from one another. She needs to come to term with the fact, that the values instilled in her by her own mother are wrong on a very fundamental level. That leads to such a response like a break down. This woman needs a lot of psychological help from a professional. Still, I don't think that staying in that marriage is a good thing for him. Because relearning a whole world view will be taxing on her. She will not be a good or even mediocre partner for a very long time. Plus the mother stays in the picture.... I am not sure we have heard the end of this...

Same they are so entertaining

Me too

They make me lose faith in humanity a lil ngl

real.

​@@SoulieCanoliemy exact situation

Fr fr what was she thinking

Her mom had basically ingrained into her that it was normal to cheat before marriage.

@@hunterblane610doesn’t mean his wife isn’t is the wrong as well

​@@ExpertTaxEvaderYes exactly!

The fact that HE is saying HE put HER through he'll! Jesus. How much did she pay that therapist to help her gaslight him?!!?

THIS.......good lord man more fish in the see ya know? Tho from the sound of things the second he was gone that chick would have punched her own ticket. yeeeeeesh

​@@ZombieLogic101nope, the whole "panic attack" thing was a manipulation.

Must not have been cheated on before.

What if he forgives her, you know, like Jesus?

​​@@TadaHrdYou can forgive someone without putting yourself in a position to be betrayed again. If she was willing to cheat once, she'll do it again. He should've dumped the wh0re at the wedding when he found out and she still belittled him and danced with the dude

Dude is an idiot. Has a child for a wife that has a mental breakdown anytime she has to face consequences for her actions and ends up thinking that getting divorce papers makes him the bad guy. People like this won't listen to reason and will continue to stay with people that make them miserable so I say make fun of them and let them stay miserable

Thats very counter productive. Its much easier to repair a wounded relationship than it is to build an enourmous one from nothing.

Yo im only 4mins in and im just wanna say this dude is dumb af. She clearly give zero fucks bout you.

I would have divorced her the millisecond she told me that

I agree

I think the husband is on the spectrum

what matters is that he's happy and that she isn't lying anymore. but it would be hard to tell if she wasn't lying. let's hope that they could grow from it, or maybe just end the relationship on good terms

or bad terms

​@@grqe.odysseyDegrading yourself is immoral. Killing yourself is immoral. Cutting yourself is immoral. Do not make excuses for it.

@@grqe.odyssey Happiness build on a lie. He should have looked at her as a new person. And he knew that that person cheated on her bf years ago. How can you see that as nothing else but a red flag together with the rest of her behaviour at the wedding and later.

This is going to sound harsh but OP is not “too nice” he is a doormat and have no self respect, being nice doesn’t mean people can treat you like shit and say oopsie doopsie and move on with their life,OP’s wife is a master of manipulation that’s why and her mom is prolly like that as well

@sneakydrag4075 op forgave her once is an act of kindness. She did get manipulated into thinking that what she did to him was ok since there's no vows has been made yet and she's been desperate to win him back again. Forgive her twice, thrice etc. is an act of a doormat.

@sneakydrag4075 i think he meant at least he dident rearange his face whit his fist😅

And the fact that he said at the end that he is not Cuckold was funny that hes so blind to see what he was made into

Nah OP is dumb

Yeah, he was a doormat. Completely pathetic.

I was thinking that too. Especially when the last panic attack resulted in him moving back home. She played it perfectly. She was never sorry, just sorry she had to admit it and was going to lose her good life because of it. TBH OP's father in law sounded just as manipulated, they way he was trying to justify his daughter's way of thinking, like mother like daughter.

@@jessicabittle5775 Guarantee the whole talk with the FIL was MILs idea

sounds like a lack of a real masculine figure while growing up if you ask me

Yup. She waited until the last possible moment to tell him. She was expecting an explosion during her sisters wedding and used the wedding as an opportunity to turn it around on him and gaslight the heck out of him. The waterworks and panic attacks only started when she realized he wasn’t falling for her gaslighting campaign. That's not the behavior of someone who truly thinks he wouldn't care about what happened before their marriage. She wasn't surprised at all about how angry he was (though she pretended to be), only that it took more effort than she expected to gaslight him into compliance.

I completely agree. Offloading responsibility to her "view of marriage instilled by her mother" and her lack of empathy in the beginning are the biggest red flags i have seen.

@@ricoarmstrong7440 absolutely spot on she isn’t distraught cause she cheated she is in this state cause she doesn’t want divorce as her family has this rosy picture of marriages where they don’t get divorced and she doesn’t want to be the first one to taint that rosy frame…

@@SudershanK Yeah definetly. Especially when she has that first panic attack. It only comes once she realises that consequences are coming her way. Not because she hurt her husband. More concerned with her own image instead of the people that love her ...

And that fact she could have a “panic attack” and have op running in circles for her, shows she has dude wrapped around her finger. Anything that she does to OP he deserves.

Exactly what I was thinking! And the therapist had a bad take on the matter too. Even if what he did was manipulative, this woman was manipulative as heck before everything even started! And she deserved to have that sword of Democles hanging over her head when she put OP through all that pain and suffering without remorse. She didn't care or see it as a big deal until she realized it would actually affect her too in the long run. And her being curled up in mommy's lap when he showed up, but HE was the one who was childish??

It is actually are form of manipulation. His intention weren't manipulative but his actions where.

ITs the idea that he would always hold the possibility of divorce over her head.

@@hunterblane610 ok but the video even said it was a temporary option. It wasn't a forever thing. He needed to know that he could trust her. I mean she is the one who betrayed his trust and then dismissed him about it. I mean if it had been me I'd have filled them out and walked away.

@@carrottop7506 The thing is, its easy to say something is temporary, but something like that can go from temporary to indefinite at the drop of a hat.

@@hunterblane610 yeah but that's kinda the point. She betrayed him and has to earn his trust again. This is him saying if she can't then this is the outcome. Because if she can't prove he can trust her than the only option is divorce.

I like how he feels like a monster ( just as she intended so he'd keep his mouth shut) by the end of it. Now she will be the victim , her cheating will be not as bad in her mind , and she'll go back to being queen of victim land.

How? She cant control panic attacks

​@@Pentopodcastshe was trying to gaslight him

​@@PentopodcastBecause she threw herself into a tizzy on purpose and worked herself up as much as humanly possible to try and delay the inevitable. It's literally a tactic toddlers use and is kind of sad that her as a grown adult did it. Not once but twice

Panic attacks can't be controlled, I'm NOT saying she's in the right. Just that no one can control emotions let alone panic attack, she truly thought it wasn't a big deal now is realizing her mistakes full force. It's her and the mothers mind set that's wrong, as she got older she should have grew out of it. Hopefully if she dates again she'll be honest this time Op should have left right after hearing the news.

You're Wright

Agreed

I disagree

@@RbSm-fe7rc Ok

​@@RbSm-fe7rc why?

Probably when he finds out she cheated again

Seriously. I think I may have told her "Now you have a slight idea about how I felt at the wedding." while she was having her panic attack.

I'd probably continue with "You destroyed what we could have been, what we could have had and you also destroyed our past, every good memory I had of us is now tainted by this betrayal." And there's no way I could hold her and comfort her during her "breakdown".

I doubt it. ​@@anime-channel7209

This guy deserves no better.

Fr. I have a feeling that op still has feelings for the other guy

Op is a bitch if your wife cheats once, she's going to cheat again.

@@AAAAAA-kz8hoor has had other relationships over the last 3 yrs. But the way she acted at the wedding makes me Think she is into him

@@maryjane4432 and she's not even guilty about it. She just wants to stay married for the status

@@maryjane4432 Yeah you dont just dance with another man while being married. You normally have a important reason like the dancepartner being family or someone far removed from being a potential romantic partner.

My brother went to the ER because he thought he was having a heart attack. But it turned out to be a panic attack. Since then, I've known a few people who have ended up in the ER for the same reason.

Absolutely, you feel like you are about to die when you have a panic attack.

Ik it feels like your dying- but if i asked to go to the ER for every panic attack ive had, i would be in severe medical debt 😰 Also my family wouldnt take me neither would the school call for me to be taken

If you can afford it yes that panic attack just shortened your life by up to5 years maybe more.

@@zathtanks i have....10 years at max then......probably less..... I used to have multiple minor ones a day- then sometimes if unlucky a major one

Agree. She should have kept her mouth shut and see what happens.

So that the sister didn't drop the nuke and doom her marriage when she got busted.

⁠@@bazookaward3859 Oh wow, now I see why you commented on another thread that what OP did at the end with the divorce papers was manipulation, you actually wanted her to continue lying. Of course. It all makes sense now. This isn’t what healthy relationships look like dude.

@@jaredmartinez7271 lol. I guess we watch the same videos. Omission of information is not the same thing as lying. Here is something you should know. You don't need to tell you spouse everything. Here is an extreme example. You killed some in the past who tried to murder you. If you don't tell your future/current spouse about it due to the trauma it left you with. That doesn't make you are liar. This information if reveled could effect your relationship so you keep it to yourself. Now if you spouse ask you if you ever killed someone and you said NO. Then that would make you a liar.

I disagree

​@@RbSm-fe7rcexplain yourself

@@RbSm-fe7rcexplain

@@Kurt-ic5vu She was raised with poor values. As soon as she understood that what she did was morally wrong, she was willing to do anything to regain his trust.

Fr

At the beginning when she did cheat she didn't think it was something bad(which of course is a bad thing, but in her point of view it wasn't). Also I'm not protecting or excusing her behaviour just explaining that she didn't realise it was wrong at the time of cheating

Maybe her dad told the truth about that! The way her mom said to her when she’s young affect her logical thought about before/after marriage. I wouldn’t understand those kind of thoughts first; however, I’d had a male friend that think just as OP’s wife. All of our mutual friends had a big fight against his POV. In the end, we all agreed to cut tie with him for goods. In fact, what hurt OP most is she cheated and hummiliated him by introducing/shaking hand/dancing… There’s no excuses for those things!

@@user-nj4zv6qo1y that’s completely illogical. She she didn’t think it was wrong, she wouldn’t have hid it. Only telling him when she had to (because she feared being exposed by someone else) shows she knew it was wrong. She is manipulating and gaslighting.

grow a spine and leave your cheating wife

Fr it makes me so mad

Would you say that if it was a woman getting manipulated by her husband?

​​@@FaizatheTempestnigga yes. What type of question is that. A grown ass adult being manipulated to this degree is just terrible, and looking from the outside in, weak.

@@FaizatheTempest Yes of course. 💀Woman let themselves be manipuLated all the time too which is bad. But when a man is getting manipulated we hear things like what you said.

Indeed poor dude, how long until she believes she can cheat again?

I disagree

@@RbSm-fe7rcbro explain

@@RbSm-fe7rc why

By her mom of all people. Figures.

I think, there are two cases where it might be a mistake. Cheating while being really really drunk and being in a really bad situation that moment. And maybe when the affair partners are exes and have for example lost their child and became closer due to that (licking each other wounds). I myself don’t think that it would make the cheating in any way right and excusable, but only logically understandable. And it would still be completely understandable if the other partner left them after that

@@anime-channel7209 understandable or not cheating is cheating and there’s no excuse

⁠@@stonedsquidgameing9761I didn’t say it was excusable. I only said these are situations it can be seen as mistakes and only when they immediately go clean. Only then can it be seen as a mistake, but they still should be ready if the partner would understandably leave them

Lol

Nah I’d divorce 🗿

I think he has a lot of respect for himself, he was ready to leave the relationship but is is really trying to understand her. What she was taught about love and marriage had a really big impact. If she understood what she was doing then yeah leave but I think this is in a gray area that I can see him actually work on it and not be losing any respect on himself.

@@Happy-dl4qt whatever she was taught, Instinctively or, not but she knew that it was wrong, otherwise she wouldn't have hid it for 4 years. And told her husband only when met with the possibility of getting caught. So, the things she had pulled even after knowing it was wrong on her part is what makes her actions horrible. And whatever excuse she, her husband or, you give me wouldn't change my mind.

​@@Happy-dl4qthis wife cheated and he somehow managed to think it was his fault so ya he is a door mate

And let’s not forget - their entire relationship is just five years! This all just happened - the cheating, the lying, manipulation, the gaslighting - is over a very short period of time. She’s making it out to seem like this all happened 20 years ago. It did not. She danced and flirted with a guy in front of her husband, whom she just slept with less than four years ago. That is not years ago. She is a classic Gaslighter, possibly a narcissist, and all of this is tantamount to emotional abuse. He needs to get away from her yesterday.

You have to understand. She genuinely didn't think she cheated. Until she got married. She didn't believe a relationship wasn't serious and she behaved like she was single. When the marriage happened she put that mindset behind her and focused on her marriage. Is she still an Idiot? 100%

ok you spend 5 yrs in something but as something happens you get a huge huge twist and the thing you spend 5 yrs on manipulatives you so much you are stuck you dont call that weak you call that being controlled and the fact you call him pathetic. such stupidity

@@user-zt7vk5sf8z nah he’s just weak. To much of a coward sympathetic dumbass to see the problem on their relationship and just divorce

Totally, he just kept clinging onto whatever was left of that poor excuse of a relationship

Ye

Thought that myself. SSM would sort him out but he’s a simp and some of them don’t change

I'm pretty sure he covered this story. This is an old one.

That’s why he said it was a mistake.

And he was trying to work it out but think about his mental state, how was he ever going to trust her again, once u break a person's trust, that person won't be able to trust you ever, this marriage is a dead end because at any point they argue or he sees her being friendly with someone else, the only thing that's going to come to his mind is she cheating and, so for his own sake he made divorce papers ready what's wrong with that, she gets panic attacks right on time and he can't even get a divorce paper

Based

You're a demon, bro 😂😂😂

menace 😂

There are many women who unfortunately have the same low level respect and self-esteem that OP has for themselves and continue on with their cheating spouses/partners. A lot of people don’t value themselves enough. It’s both genders tbh.

If the roles were reversed, there would also be a comment in the comment section going that "if the wife had cheated, the husband would emediately leave'

Pass me some

​@@Firegod7157fr 😂

I love a good cup of tea

☕

@@GoonerEdits FR

I get what you are saying. i also understand why people are saying to leave her

He did, He made a decision you could never fathom doing. This makes him the stronger person.

​@@bazookaward3859stronger person? Dude let his wife dance with her fwb at a wedding lmao

​@@bazookaward3859no it doesn't he is letting her walk all over him

@@Me-852 Look some people can forgive. You can't but others can. He decided he didn't want his marriage to end and now has his wife eating out of his hand to not loose him. You see the situation as a loss because he chose to forgive his wife's betrayal. Be as judgement as you want. However the guys' life belongs to him and he should live it how he wants. He is happy with his decision and that is all that matter in this situation.

Even the op doesn’t believe he isn’t a cuck,he’s trying to convince himself 😂

She will cheat again

What denial?

True1