Funny Things To Say Right Before Anesthesia Kicks In (Reddit Stories r/AskReddit)

Рет қаралды 2,025,759

5 жыл бұрын

New AskReddit Stories: What would be a funny thing to say to a surgeon before anesthesia kicks in 5 seconds later? 💯💸
🔥 2nd channel with exclusive reddit stories: / @updooteverything
#doctor #funny #anesthesia
Music: Kevin MacLeod
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Пікірлер: 6 400

@charitard3518 5 жыл бұрын

My friend (male) told his surgeon (male) “You’re the first guy to ever go inside me. Be gentle”

@williamb-b7440 5 жыл бұрын

Im WHESING Holy frock you blow my comment up from me spelling something wrong thanks guys

@unagi7143 5 жыл бұрын

😂

@red0421 5 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣😆😆

@tactician6129 5 жыл бұрын

Lmao

@jbest31 5 жыл бұрын

jon doe I’m also whesing

@mayalouwho2597 5 жыл бұрын

Doctor- “count backward from ten” Me- “I hate math” And then I was out

@JL-zw7hi 5 жыл бұрын

@Oddysea Cat Not anymore

@melonplant8148 5 жыл бұрын

*anestesia kicks in* "Mr. Stark, i don't feel so gud" *_FALLS ASLEP_*

@titanicstars5221 5 жыл бұрын

Maya J 😂😂

@andressanchez232 5 жыл бұрын

My dad had this simple challenge as well, the thing is he only counted 1 physically but counted close to 10 mentally

@yourlocalcemetery 4 жыл бұрын

@hadiffnazhan862 4 жыл бұрын

My dad went out saying “mcdonalds” and then woke up saying “hmm tasty”

@Starfish_Manatee 4 жыл бұрын

not gonna lie dis is the most funniest comment ive ever read i just dont know why. tell ur dad i like the commitment to that joke

@spacekid9680 4 жыл бұрын

@georgek4416 4 жыл бұрын

LOL

@salsabilak3520 4 жыл бұрын

Lmao

@bijouxkas 4 жыл бұрын

@the Emperor of man I agree

@jeffreykassir 4 жыл бұрын

“Y’all also see that man in the dark suit in the corne-“ *black out*

@bigdickgod2442 4 жыл бұрын

IM DEFINITELY USING THIS ONE NEXT TIME.

@Dragon-hu5ev 4 жыл бұрын

Mason R YES

@yorampaar2011 4 жыл бұрын

Imagine saying that and then dying

@user-zs7zw5yw4t 4 жыл бұрын

Peppa Jeff • 13 years ago hsisiwjhidpepprirnporneidud

@dbt5110 4 жыл бұрын

Better : who’s that instead of y’all also see

@charlesvanmeter8105 5 жыл бұрын

Had a doctor named Dr Slaughter. When i met him said "that better not be a nickname earned while working here."

@amandac8836 5 жыл бұрын

That's. That is SUCH an unfortunate name for a doctor hahahaha

@speedtubertm6319 5 жыл бұрын

Doc: It is a nickname i got here while working, not important, from my previous job in a slaughterhouse

@charlesvanmeter8105 5 жыл бұрын

The guy was weird too. I was about 19 y/o at the time. He kept bringing up big hero six and how he had a cameo in it. I hadn't seen it before and even told him that. But still he kept bringing it up and laughing to himself about apearing in a movie. I later watched it to find out the moment he was referring to was when the stoner college kid was showing off his comics.

@dan-5678 5 жыл бұрын

... ironic cause where I grew up there's a scarehouse called Dr Slaughter's house of terror

@secondarymetabolite5050 5 жыл бұрын

I had a dentist whose name translates to "butcher"...

@earffquakee_ 5 жыл бұрын

Surgeon: "this is the stuff that killed Michael Jackson" My brain: He He

@jia2827 5 жыл бұрын

hee-hee

@botelladeaguamediollena4885 5 жыл бұрын

heee-heee

@theshee5450 5 жыл бұрын

@@botelladeaguamediollena4885 HEEEEEE HEEEEEE

@mochivin5143 5 жыл бұрын

*-huuuu-huuu-*

@thebakerganimations1114 5 жыл бұрын

*HHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HHHHHEEEEEEEE*

@polish_filipino 4 жыл бұрын

1:20 "Righty tighty, Lefty loosey" **Dies**

@draessw 4 жыл бұрын

Polish Filipino that’s how they put the coffin on with the drill.

@plastic6568 4 жыл бұрын

Drewbee LOL

@kate7yn334 4 жыл бұрын

I said, “This burns” and he said “It’s not supposed to do that” and the world went dark

@petalpotionsart 4 жыл бұрын

Were you put out with IV or the mask?? If IV, i'm like 99% sure I know what they gave you

@kate7yn334 4 жыл бұрын

Parker Phillips yeah it was IV

@petalpotionsart 4 жыл бұрын

@@kate7yn334 I'm pretty sure what they gave you was Propofol. I've had it many times when I needed to be put out, and if the vein is close to the surface, it really really burns. If it burned, it's really likely that you had the IV in your hand or in your wrist. If a vein in the inside of your elbow is relatively close to the surface, it can also burn if that's where you had it.

@mr.terwilliger5728 4 жыл бұрын

Parker Phillips thank you

@petalpotionsart 4 жыл бұрын

@@mr.terwilliger5728 Hahahah, why am I being thanked??

@afrojahames5748 5 жыл бұрын

As a surgeon, say: so, *_how_* do I extract the heart?

@alvinhagerman8164 5 жыл бұрын

Uhhhhhh, i was supposed to (insert wrong thing here) amputate his/her legs, right?

@fernandarubilar4596 5 жыл бұрын

"Siri, the patient has a leak, what should I do?"

@theowleyes07 5 жыл бұрын

I am a doc too during my residency my my senior doc had a patient (M 23 who broke femur into 3 and was a son of one of another doc) to whom he said lets play the DVD to know how to repair the Femur just before the Anaesthetic kicked in.

@summerant38 5 жыл бұрын

And that’s how the medic lost his license

@darcihasselbach4125 5 жыл бұрын

a good way to get sued for malpractice

@GhastlessGibus 4 жыл бұрын

"Obama's last name is..." *Goes under*

@deaththekid922 4 жыл бұрын

Obama is his last name

@DarkLink1996. 4 жыл бұрын

@@deaththekid922 That's the joke

@_0w701 4 жыл бұрын

@@deaththekid922 ok boomer

@deaththekid922 4 жыл бұрын

@@DarkLink1996. sorry but im at a point where i just asume people online are serious when they ask stupid questions because i have seen so much stupidity already

@aestheticvirgocoochie20yea45 4 жыл бұрын

Minene Uryuu922 I PC Masterrace I understandable

@MrPoopyHeadd 4 жыл бұрын

Doc: “You should feel slee..” Me: “MY POOP IS COMING!!” Doc:

@xecute9455 4 жыл бұрын

King P nice

@Starfish_Manatee 4 жыл бұрын

*k*

@spacekid9680 4 жыл бұрын

XD I UNDERSTAND YOUR VINE REFERENCE!!!! XD HAHAHA

@sadsquatch4797 4 жыл бұрын

I remember looking at the nurse and saying, “man these drugs ain’t shit” and immediately blacking out after while she laughed at me.

@ojo6178 4 жыл бұрын

very believable my guy

@EduardoContrerasD 3 жыл бұрын

Nice one, Donald.

@peach8438 5 жыл бұрын

“Okay I’m going to need you to count backwards from 10” “You want fries with that?” *blacks out*

@rainbowunipenguins5956 5 жыл бұрын

I just snorted with laughter, and I’m doing that next time I get surgery

@cassie9682 5 жыл бұрын

The fact that it doesn't make any sense just makes me laugh so much 😂

@Noname-xj3yn 5 жыл бұрын

This doesn't make any sense so why tf am I laughing!? 😂😂

@soup-flavored-soup6613 5 жыл бұрын

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

@cricketuhm 5 жыл бұрын

Sure i'd like some Arbys curly fries.

@mattleach5294 4 жыл бұрын

“Who’s the guy in the black robe?” *passes out

@reedman0780 4 жыл бұрын

"Didnt know you guys have black coats"

@reve2712 4 жыл бұрын

@hugs4carry143 4 жыл бұрын

FBI Agent 👀

@ubz05 4 жыл бұрын

It's death😂😂😂😉

@ragingrampage2188 4 жыл бұрын

Red pill blue pill

@helenarosno 4 жыл бұрын

Bot: “His blood pressure is a little high.” Me: “That’s not the only thing that’s high.”

@Rainy_R 3 жыл бұрын

*o o o o h*

@kanedaku 2 жыл бұрын

Cool, sentient robot surgery!

@mr.terwilliger5728 4 жыл бұрын

Straight up I asked a nurse out before my wisdom tooth operation and her number was in my pants pocket that night when I took my wallet and keys out. Together almost a year now :D

@mayattv4986 4 жыл бұрын

Damn son. Preach me, your new disciple.

@vlonejacket5476 4 жыл бұрын

Wholesome

@ellamahley2682 4 жыл бұрын

congagutians

@josepherhardt164 4 жыл бұрын

OMG. Write it up, sell it as a rom-com! Happy for you!

@Threadinhand 4 жыл бұрын

Mr. Terwilliger I’m speechless

@geimskip17 4 жыл бұрын

Imagine making such a funny joke that the doctor cant stop laughing and stabs you in the lung by accident.

@maoussirski5419 4 жыл бұрын

cocaine cola wow calm down 🤣

@JR-gg6cv 4 жыл бұрын

I spat out my milk. 😂

@smileyfacevibeswithyou1138 4 жыл бұрын

oh god

@elizabethliddell2181 4 жыл бұрын

@eaten_kookie6247 4 жыл бұрын

Noice

@AverageAlien 5 жыл бұрын

As the surgeon say: "It's time to start harvesting while they're fresh."

@alexwang982 5 жыл бұрын

Nice to meet you, I am Pi

@AverageAlien 5 жыл бұрын

@@alexwang982 Hi Pi im dad

@weese1370 5 жыл бұрын

@@AverageAlien hi dad I'm mom

@epsi9923 5 жыл бұрын

Username checks out.

@cakelady8534 5 жыл бұрын

Average Alien hi dad, I’m your girlfriend

@kenzieberumen3578 4 жыл бұрын

Anesthesiologist: count down from 5 Me: okay *counts in head* Anesthesiologist: no outloud Me: five... *passes out*

@NightRainn 4 жыл бұрын

if I for some reason get a surgery, I'm going to say "Anyone want to ask god a question?"

@Starfish_Manatee 4 жыл бұрын

im gonna use dis

@potato7688 4 жыл бұрын

Im gonna ask this when i get my wisdom teeth removed lol

@McDuckee69 5 жыл бұрын

I had to get out my appendix out, so the doctor told me to count down to ten. I then quickly counted it down really fast, the last thing I heard was the nurse saying “that’s cheating”.

@TheZephyrsWind 5 жыл бұрын

That's crazy. The countdown thing never works for me, I've gotten to 70 & said "this isn't working, I just feel like I'm starting to float" & they then used & IV rather than gas & it worked. I'm extremely resistant to many drugs, as well as alcohol (used to drink 4 gallons of liquor a week for severe chronic pain)

@alek8835 4 жыл бұрын

Christopher Michael I don’t think using alcohol for chronic pain is a good way to deal with it..

@theautisticartist9370 4 жыл бұрын

Alek are you a certified doctor?

@lifeisfreakinginteresting9558 4 жыл бұрын

The autistic Artist There is way better way to deal with chronic pain, daily alcohol usage can damage the liver and there is no need to be a doctor to know this...

@theautisticartist9370 4 жыл бұрын

LifeIsFreaking Interesting ehhhhh sorry I wouldn’t know. I’m not even old enough to drive so I wouldn’t understand these things. You, my friend, have taught me something new today 😊

@illegalalien4444 4 жыл бұрын

When you pass out and start closing your eyelids only to see the Avengers in your room with balloons

@merkava7126 4 жыл бұрын

The first thing they say: "You get to name it!"

@LSK2K 4 жыл бұрын

I've been searching this video for almost a week now just to read this comment.

@doctorstrange2768 4 жыл бұрын

Spetsgruppa V Kapkan Want a balloon? 😂

@lowbudgetname2745 4 жыл бұрын

Shat up Your meme is stolen

@akumasvengeance 4 жыл бұрын

next time i go under, i’m gonna shut my eyes and say “ that’s a bright light. why does that man have wings?”

@charizardgaming2253 3 жыл бұрын

madlad

@Taylor-kd9ld 4 жыл бұрын

I had a surgery and when I was passing out I yelled at the top of my voice "Don't let my friends in until I can speak full numbers they wil...."*passed out* Then when I woke up I yelled "Will draw all over my face with sharpie!!!!!!" They were actually planning to do they tho

@josepherhardt164 4 жыл бұрын

One thing about propofol, at least for me, is that when you wake up, you wake up _fully_ , without any drowsiness or wooziness. OMG, the spell-checker knows "wooziness."

@lucario.pokedex.0448 2 жыл бұрын

Lmao

@jazzyspork8745 5 жыл бұрын

imagine right before you go under they say "are they an organ donor?"

@whywasimadetofeelnothingbu1991 5 жыл бұрын

s a d "Which leg are we amputating again?"

@AngelTX 5 жыл бұрын

Why was I made to feel nothing but pain lmao

@yerro504 5 жыл бұрын

Gokussgame what? Are you okay?

@jazzyspork8745 5 жыл бұрын

@@yerro504 "why was i made to feel nothing but pain" is the person he's replying to lmao

@Just_Jupiterlol 5 жыл бұрын

Doctor: Wait...oh, this isn’t the guy getting both legs amputated? Oops...

@thescientist7753 4 жыл бұрын

Once i woke up during anesthesia and asked “you done yet?” And the dentist said “no that was just the novocaine injection, go back to sleep” I said aight and went back under

@buildswithdavid9135 4 жыл бұрын

If you woke up, sue them.

@nilsapriem3641 4 жыл бұрын

Wtf, yall go under anesthesia at the dentist?

@fridapajon2931 4 жыл бұрын

@@nilsapriem3641 lmao i wish

@tacocat5594 4 жыл бұрын

nilsa priem only for wisdom teeth removal

@prestigegrim 4 жыл бұрын

@@fridapajon2931 I was awake when they removed my wisdom teeth

@1ceblock 4 жыл бұрын

When you wake up from anesthesia: "Hey, you, you are finally awake"

@jamierussell379 4 жыл бұрын

Damn you stormcloaks

@oroshithegodeater2590 4 жыл бұрын

To the block Prisoner

@yuen28 4 жыл бұрын

“The body is under the floorboards”

@everything_nerdy3562 5 жыл бұрын

My doctor told me that the anesthetic tasted like bubble gum. The last thing I remember doing was licking the inside of the mask like a moron.

@wafflekiller6996 5 жыл бұрын

Everything_Nerdy well, what did it taste like?

@everything_nerdy3562 5 жыл бұрын

He lied. It didn’t taste like anything

@wafflekiller6996 5 жыл бұрын

Everything_Nerdy well that’s disappointing. *lies.*

@pokerface4 5 жыл бұрын

@@everything_nerdy3562 Reality is often dissapointment

@StarStormz_ 4 жыл бұрын

LOL I HAD ONE OF THOSE- THEY SMELL REALLY GOOD Taste? Also nothing

@rece9151 5 жыл бұрын

“This must be what dying feels like” -a mad lad

@CryptidVulpes 5 жыл бұрын

Ah sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet here we go again

@MrA-lo5ho 4 жыл бұрын

r/madlads

@ecologicnickel1208 4 жыл бұрын

“Wait who’s that guy at the doorway in the black ro-“ Goes under

@bndr208 4 жыл бұрын

When I was about to have surgery. The guy put the mask on me. After a little while, I acted as if I were out, when he took the mask off, I quickly “jumped” at him and scared the shit out of him. For some reason, I don’t pass out quickly. I had a doctor once ask me behind my family’s back if I was on some kind of drugs, after like 15 minutes of not passing out.

@KC-xh5bs 4 жыл бұрын

WTH! 😂😂

@user-vv5ju3fj1p 4 жыл бұрын

Scaring a surgeon is a rookie mistake. You got lucky kid.

@Aemilius_Roswell 3 жыл бұрын

Lmfao noo 🤣

@shanedrawsart5631 5 жыл бұрын

"I can't feel my face when I'm with you" "cause I numbed it" cracked me up so hard lmao

@amber_Forever16 5 жыл бұрын

BelgiumShady “oh, I thought it was the cocaine”

@brysonloko2456 4 жыл бұрын

Right lmao

@jordyv.703 4 жыл бұрын

Een Belg?

@samuelf5172 4 жыл бұрын

”Bravo six going dark”

@theboisgamingandvlogs304 4 жыл бұрын

Samuel F bruh

@bilgerat938 4 жыл бұрын

Lmao

@theboisgamingandvlogs304 4 жыл бұрын

Lmfa00000

@kingchris-xt9lf 4 жыл бұрын

Best one now i want surgery

@-Winterwinde- 4 жыл бұрын

LMFAO

@Gkitchens1 4 жыл бұрын

"So you're just going to amputate the one toe, right?" When going under for a different survery.

@the-sassy-blacksmith7594 4 жыл бұрын

"I demand a bedtime story"

@alisa-jojanson4869 4 жыл бұрын

Love it

@xdgamerkid 4 жыл бұрын

Definitely what I'm gonna say

@kanedaku 2 жыл бұрын

"I demand a bedtime story" *crosses arms and pouts*

@northstar6920 5 жыл бұрын

My uncle shattered his hand with a hammer while putting up a shelf and had to get it to reconstructed and before they put him under he asked the doctor in an overly dramatic tone if he'd be able to play the piano. The doc confused by the this said sure it should be possible, my uncle then burst out with "GOOD BECAUSE I COULDENT BEFORE!."

@channelingecho 5 жыл бұрын

What a legend

@manager-nim2623 5 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@Kasuyaki007 5 жыл бұрын

this is the best one hahahaha

@ziyinglim4917 5 жыл бұрын

I remember reading this somewhere before. ( -.-)

@glassofwater281 5 жыл бұрын

Lmfao

@saj2392 5 жыл бұрын

I apparently woke up in the middle of my surgery and said: "Hey, Doc. Is it too late to go to the toilet?"

@georgem101yearsago4 5 жыл бұрын

Doctor: *holds lung and heart* “What.”

@Starfish_Manatee 4 жыл бұрын

chicken mcnuggets

@Aemilius_Roswell 3 жыл бұрын

Jesus Christ 😂

@elizabethcarlos3883 4 жыл бұрын

When I woke up from getting my wisdom teeth removed my parents kept telling me that I wanted to fight justin bieber. To this day I still want to fight him lol

@Ethan-yg8me 4 жыл бұрын

"I'll be back in a bit, I'm just going out for a pack of cigarettes " *dies*

@NOTtheAditiYK 4 жыл бұрын

RIP man.... It's been 3 months but we're still waiting for those cigarattes......

@digitalsilver1013 5 жыл бұрын

I was getting my wisdom teeth out and when I woke up my mom asked "are you bleeding " and I said In my still drugged voice "I dONt GoT tImE tO bLeEd"

@crazytomato4845 5 жыл бұрын

Fuck yes, Predator

@turinturambar1688 5 жыл бұрын

I’m going to need that

@stainjamin 5 жыл бұрын

Oml I need to get my 4 wisdom teeth out and a cavity tooth (a bit sad cause I felt safe at this one place but insurance doesnt cover it so I gotta go to some torture looking factory) so I'm looking for things to lighten the mood and make them laugh (and most likely frick up my teeth cause they're either subtly messed with or laughing their heads off

@lefterisphasarias8934 5 жыл бұрын

What are these wisdom teeth? You remove them and become dumb af?

@nuggetlovesall222 5 жыл бұрын

@@lefterisphasarias8934 you lose wisdom

@jeanpaulmarrero2728 4 жыл бұрын

So I’ve had the privilege of having 7 surgeries from injuries sustained as a wrestler. It took me 7 surgeries to finally get this joke I’d wanted to do as I was going out... Here I am about to have my ACL reconstructed and as I’m feeling the propofol take affect, I say “Hey everyone, want to know how to keep a doctor in suspense?” and the whole OR fell quiet awaiting my response. To which, they never got as I had finally succumbed to the anesthesia. According to my surgeon, they sat and waited for about 20 seconds before realizing that the joke was me being knocked out and having them waiting for an answer in suspense. After which, she said they laughed for a good minute or two before starting the procedure. Next week, I get to experience it all over again in another surgery... I’ll make sure to do it again lol.

@DeathByLego 4 жыл бұрын

That gave me a good chuckle.

@chickencurry420 4 жыл бұрын

It's been 2 weeks now. Any news, my guy?

@jeanpaulmarrero2728 4 жыл бұрын

Zak Jet I unfortunately was too drugged to remember to do it😕 Surgery went well though, roughly 65% of my acetabular labrum was torn and it was repaired. No clue how I managed to do that one but hey, it’s fixed and I have less pain than before surgery so I’m stoked🙌🏽

@Morlun91 4 жыл бұрын

But are you planning retirement or 8 surgeries is to be expected in your line of work?

@jeanpaulmarrero2728 4 жыл бұрын

Morlun91 Oh yeah haha, I retired from wrestling a few years ago! After my 3rd shoulder surgery (which was a biceps tenodesis - where they cut the long head of the biceps and attach it into the distal portion of the bicipital groove), my surgeon was very real with me and told me there could be some serious consequences if I damaged what he had done. So, I hung up the wrestling shoes and focused in on my studies and guitar playing. It’s unfortunate though as I never got to wrestle a collegiate match. But, it’s been a blessing through the grand scheme of it all. Ultimately, my body feels wonderful now and after the hip I’m feeling normal again for the first time in years. I’m graduating from my undergrad this May and am pursuing a Ph.D. in exercise physiology because I want to teach. Luckily, I don’t need to be too mobile for that profession haha :)

@honeybeeappreciator 4 жыл бұрын

This isn’t funny, but when I had a tooth pulled out, I’m told I tried to grab the doctor’s hand and bite it. Not sure why. Think I was ANGRY. Still remains a mystery.

@gruntlos 4 жыл бұрын

Last thing the tooth ever did

@rembob6447 4 жыл бұрын

When I had my teeth taken out the gas they gave me made me flaming hot mad. I had to keep my hands clenched in my lap so I didn't try to grab the dentist.

@honeybeeappreciator 4 жыл бұрын

Dudasthegamer: Well played. I applaud you.

@ahyesexistence1586 4 жыл бұрын

"Doc, I forgot to mention....I'm allergic to ether." Doctor: *oh shit.....*

@skylargacha9093 5 жыл бұрын

Surgeon: "count from 10 backwards" Me: "A b c d e f p j k" In a serious voice.

@marlenemortler4164 5 жыл бұрын

Love that

@UnknownPerson-fg6ts 5 жыл бұрын

Wait is that not how u count for ten backwards?

@dinolife2748 5 жыл бұрын

Nice one!

@1ztype343 5 жыл бұрын

@JKMiracle woooooooosh

@CrystalKarma 4 жыл бұрын

"this must be what dying feels like" "oh, my, God" lmfaooooo

@muffinman5741 4 жыл бұрын

I bet she said that in a valley girl accent

@beaterbikechannel2538 4 жыл бұрын

I thought way too hard about that one. The coldness and the numbness is correct though.

@stormrunner4081 4 жыл бұрын

He probably gave the nurse a heart attack

@BackdraftAirsoft 4 жыл бұрын

Was having a colonoscopy and the doctor started to do the operation before I was under. He put his hands on my rear and I jumped a little then said “At least buy me dinner first.” The nurse was wide eyed and said to him “he’s not out yet” then she gave me more anesthetic

@apejones7335 4 жыл бұрын

Surgeon: You're gonna start to feel sleepy in a few seconds Me: But you haven't even read me a bedtime story yet Me: *dies*

@davidkanengieter 5 жыл бұрын

I asked the Anesthesiologist in a slurry Connery voice: "Do you expect me to talk, Goldfinger?" Quickly he said "No Mr Bond, I expect you to sleep."

@mercylessplayer 5 жыл бұрын

If I ever get surgery I will use this

@gokurocks9 5 жыл бұрын

I LAUGHED thank you.

@jesus8332 5 жыл бұрын

The funny thing is ‘ I expect you to sleep ‘ cuz idk what u meant

@willowwilt691 5 жыл бұрын

Yasss

@saintdarpa9818 5 жыл бұрын

Solid gold

@VKingMD 5 жыл бұрын

"Well I suppose you are all wondering why I have gathered you here today." is a good one

@jeremias5784 5 жыл бұрын

This... Is a bucket

@rileyisbored7507 5 жыл бұрын

I wanna use this in my future surgeries if I'll have more

@manager-nim2623 5 жыл бұрын

Omg this is beautiful

@remibrooks5994 5 жыл бұрын

Funnier in an elevator

@chihirosen6996 4 жыл бұрын

"Does anybody need anything while I'm out" put me in a witch cackling fit. 😂😂😂

@hunterlady7656 4 жыл бұрын

When I got surgery on my arm, I remember exclaiming I'd go to a themepark the day after I woke up. Apparently drugged out me was really stubborn and we went to the themepark, terrible mistake but good story.

@minecraftletsplay5334 5 жыл бұрын

Me starting to black out Surgeon: “Alright look up the wiki-how” Edit: holy guacamole that's a lot of likes

@VegitoBlueYT 5 жыл бұрын

LMFAO

@samuelr.6046 5 жыл бұрын

NO NO NO N-

@darienvinke9565 5 жыл бұрын

I dont get it

@aquajasper 5 жыл бұрын

@@darienvinke9565 the surgeon's gonna look up how to do surgery on wiki-how 😂

@octicseth 5 жыл бұрын

Dariën Vinke wiki how has the worst tips ever

@verynormalhumans4420 5 жыл бұрын

“If I die, I hid 2 million dollars in the-“ *black out*

@YankeeTM 5 жыл бұрын

Underrated, rofl

@ChRiS-cx2zp 5 жыл бұрын

Big oof

@alisastelle4188 5 жыл бұрын

Stolen joke

@ChRiS-cx2zp 5 жыл бұрын

@V1ral hyper mega oof

@ChRiS-cx2zp 5 жыл бұрын

@V1ral breathtaking oof

@TrutiTru 4 жыл бұрын

A sad one to say is "my battery is low and it's getting dark" Or you can say "ight imma head out" Edit: "ooh this shit be hitting different" is also kinda funny

@SIyMarbo 4 жыл бұрын

After my colonoscopy still drugged up Me: Can I get ice cream Doc: ok Me: it’s not for me Doc: who’s it for? *confused look* Me: it’s for my ass Doctor: laughs and gets me ice cream It was sherbert

@weebywoo5128 4 жыл бұрын

Evolution joke 😉

@SIyMarbo 4 жыл бұрын

Steve true story but it was the inspiration

@rakkstabber1536 4 жыл бұрын

Damn I loved that movie

@helookalikaman79 3 жыл бұрын

having that test done, the best part/ easiest part was the Propofol... The night before is hell...

@dfor 5 жыл бұрын

As an adult I've only been knocked out for surgery once, to get my wisdom teeth removed. The orthopedic surgeon told me that as the anesthesia sets in, I will start to get an erection. The last thing I remember is turning to the cute nurse and saying "Don't get too excited now. We have to stay professional here." Lmao

@coolerthanyou6040 5 жыл бұрын

Douglas Forsyth *Awkward Silence*

@nightmodenylo1538 5 жыл бұрын

Fucking legend

@authenticNL2 5 жыл бұрын

Best comment ever

@ticcingtimebomb877 5 жыл бұрын

Amazing

@xxxod 5 жыл бұрын

Plot twist: She was married with 2 kids

@carsonthomas6186 4 жыл бұрын

I told my dad, a cop “This must be why people love drugs” Then I passed out

@biggSHNDO 4 жыл бұрын

Carson Thomas good stuff

@Starfish_Manatee 4 жыл бұрын

thats good

@darion1728 4 жыл бұрын

good

@Starfish_Manatee 4 жыл бұрын

Yes

@creepywaffles4783 4 жыл бұрын

😂 oops

@mohammadalghouthani1850 4 жыл бұрын

I would say to the doctor before I go out: "I wanna wake up"

@giltzexuh 4 жыл бұрын

Anesthesiologist: Ok you're gonna start feeling kinda woozy now Me: Wow, theres 3 of you in here! Now 5! Now 7! Now- *out*

@youtubeearrapecenter5353 5 жыл бұрын

As a surgeon say: "hey siri, how do i perform brain surgery?"

@nickkohlmann 5 жыл бұрын

THIS THIS IS THE BEST I'VE EVER SEEN

@operationtakeoveryoutube1724 5 жыл бұрын

Omg the poor patient! 😂

@speedtubertm6319 5 жыл бұрын

Right before they go out

@jasminedoggietvn6995 5 жыл бұрын

“Ok, now open up the wikihow page.”

@Cedar-wz5vw 5 жыл бұрын

That is cruel

@gruknarorcishwar-yerhereto8489 5 жыл бұрын

Patient: there’s a spooky skeleton in there Surgeon: when I’m done their might be a ghost too

@ChrisBenWabiKusa 5 жыл бұрын

*hold up*

@rosalindneil1832 5 жыл бұрын

O_o

@Hanakin-Sidewalker 5 жыл бұрын

*I’m gonna stop you right there*

@gruknarorcishwar-yerhereto8489 5 жыл бұрын

I mean, you never know?

@lekhapratap1652 5 жыл бұрын

This must be what dying feels like but at least you’ll meet the greatest host M. Jackson for that blow.

@Brannon_S 4 жыл бұрын

When I broke my arm they had to put 3 pins in right before I blacked out from anesthesia I asked is this a jojo reference? I heard 1 nurse crack up so hard we had to stop for a second I then passed out

@grapepopglaceon264 3 жыл бұрын

*ザワールド*

@sammie9540 4 жыл бұрын

‘Count to 10’ ... “I’m a bit tired, ask me when I wake up’

@tomruss2477 4 жыл бұрын

Underrated

@TheLegendaryNomad 5 жыл бұрын

“Wait, what’s the safe word?”😂 I’m dying

@srijamitra4806 5 жыл бұрын

I didn't get this 😅.... Can someone explain?

@mallyO 5 жыл бұрын

@Srija Mitra the joke refers to bdsm (a kind of sexual foreplay involving pain and torture) the instrument the doctor was using to keep the patient from biting down resembles a bondage toy that is a ball and strap that one person wraps around the other persons mouth to keep them from moaning or screaming loudly. The “safe word” is a word that the person receiving pain says if the pain is too much and it will make the pain giver stop. Usually the person experiencing pain is called a masochist (a person who experiences sexual pleasure through pain) and the person giving the pain is called a sadist (a person who receives sexual pleasure seeing others in pain). If you want to know more, watch the movie “Fifty shades of Grey”. That movie is all about bdsm.

@revannoct8724 5 жыл бұрын

Mallory Orear My innocence is fading away...

@srijamitra4806 5 жыл бұрын

@@mallyO holy heck.... Was totally not expecting this 😂 thanks so much for the reply though

@hollymaccharles1315 5 жыл бұрын

Is that the safe word?

@sikena 5 жыл бұрын

If i was the surgeon I’d be like: “Ok pull up the wikihow article”

@CazzEdits 4 жыл бұрын

S I love yo-----your comment

@Impimperator 4 жыл бұрын

So underrated

@Pingoinnn 4 жыл бұрын

I put the 69th like

@_VictorGrantz_ 4 жыл бұрын

LMFAO UNDERRATED

@caprisun4851 4 жыл бұрын

*giggle fit ensues while the patient screams*

@richtea615 4 жыл бұрын

"Don't sew up anything that's supposed to remain open."

@adamchapman7035 4 жыл бұрын

I was singing Weird Al Yankovic “Like a Surgeon” before going under for an appendectomy

@jinkstacks4830 5 жыл бұрын

If I was having head surgery, right before I went under I would say “you know which leg it is, right?”

@guy_incognito7538 5 жыл бұрын

That's great

@Reflox1 5 жыл бұрын

I did this when they operated my leg. After surgery they came in and asked "How do you feel?" - "Great I can already move my arm again!"

@beeowo7030 5 жыл бұрын

80th like

@wyatterminator3761 5 жыл бұрын

@@beeowo7030 WHAT A GREAT CONTRIBUTION TO THIS COMMENT

@beeowo7030 5 жыл бұрын

Terminator 0783 Who pissed in your Cheerios? 😂

@arattor6107 5 жыл бұрын

*Mr.Stark,i don’t feel so good.....*

@marzbarz7934 5 жыл бұрын

I am using this for my wisdom teeth removal.

@peepeegal941 5 жыл бұрын

Next time i get anesthesia i will say this

@SoulRacer65 5 жыл бұрын

I might be using this when i go to the dentists soon, if i am put under

@bookbutterfly6613 5 жыл бұрын

Arattor 610 when I get my first surgery I’m so freaking using this

@user-ql7zl4nu7i 5 жыл бұрын

Slow and happy

@thesoupin8or673 4 жыл бұрын

"Jeez, this is rusty" followed by "have you seen my watch?" Had me in tears

@akthekilla9874 4 жыл бұрын

“I better not wake up 6 feet under and if I do there better be cake”

@user-ol8gl3yj1h 5 жыл бұрын

Okay, no joke, the nurse for my school was named Mrs. Cheryl Stark. One day, I was feeling sick, so I legit said, "Mrs. Stark, I don't feel so good." Long story short, I was sent back to class because she thought I was joking around about feeling sick. EDIT: I threw up in class.

@codywoodvine9724 5 жыл бұрын

@grenade5053 5 жыл бұрын

@sxhem5889 4 жыл бұрын

@echoana 4 жыл бұрын

@micayacannon9268 4 жыл бұрын

I don't get it?

@mineyourbeeswaxx 4 жыл бұрын

“Bravo six, going dark” or “aw shit, here we go again” .

@StaminaStudios 4 жыл бұрын

MineYourBeesWax THIS IS GOLD!

@gabrielrozakis1994 4 жыл бұрын

Yes

@soldeeznuts7831 4 жыл бұрын

That second one is reserved for the second time and after lel

@sicarios8474 4 жыл бұрын

cringeeeee

@yeetyeeter6417 4 жыл бұрын

lol

@ThrottleKitty 4 жыл бұрын

"No... Noo... Nooo... If I fall asleep, the demon king will be releeeeeeased"

@retrorenaissance9497 4 жыл бұрын

After I got my appendix taken out, when I woke up I asked “so how long did you make it?” Zero laughs

@crazzy2228 5 жыл бұрын

My last thought before going under was "That's not oxygen." I regret not saying that out loud.

@Getsusayuki 5 жыл бұрын

I thought the exact same thing with my wisdom teeth surgery! I just thought my orthodontist said that because he's a paediatric specialist

@lordpsi99 5 жыл бұрын

I took my mask off after they said it was oxygen but felt myself going out. They tried to pull a fast one but I wanted to let them know I wasn't going to let them get away with it completely. For the record, I was okay with the gas and was ready for them to put me out but the lying got me heated.

@valeriomenghini6219 4 жыл бұрын

"I'll see you in the future doc" I ACTUALLY DID THATTTT

@Cyian 4 жыл бұрын

"Bravo 6 going dark"

@tylerhilpisch7850 5 жыл бұрын

I had my large intestine removed and I asked if I could keep it to make sausage, they had to take 20 min to calm down

@VegitoBlueYT 5 жыл бұрын

wait wtf how do you shit

@agbc9832 5 жыл бұрын

you what now-

@cioelle 5 жыл бұрын

please op, please tell us how you shit now i'm shaking

@1ztype343 5 жыл бұрын

Holy shit are you ok

@prodbykaji 5 жыл бұрын

Morgan Morgan that’s sad i like to poo

@akuma.wolf13 5 жыл бұрын

Nurse: "Count from 10 to 0 and you'll be out" Me: *counts backwards from 10* "Done, can I get a sticker now?" Doc: "Why is he still awake?" Me: "I'm a good-" *passes out*

@MaxisaBandKid 4 жыл бұрын

BOooooooyyyyyyyy... (Voice gets progressively deeper)

@somerandommemechannel9776 4 жыл бұрын

“Mr Stark, i don’t feel so good.”

@thecwd8919 4 жыл бұрын

I was waking up from surgery Me thinking: "hey my vision is blurry... Wouldn't it be funny if I pretended to panic"

@alexbutlevics8671 4 жыл бұрын

“Aight imma head out”

@owenlewis4693 4 жыл бұрын

Do you support the Galactic Empire?

@teraspeXt 4 жыл бұрын

Did you just -steal my comment- _get here before I did and fairly make the joke_ ?

@Entele21 5 жыл бұрын

As the Surgeon: "Don't worry, I've logged 20 hours in Surgeon Simulator" Me: "Oh shiiiiiiii-" *Black out*

@Karma-xv2ee 4 жыл бұрын

69 likes, nice.

@kanedaku 2 жыл бұрын

Genuine LOL from me

@mikomihael6478 4 жыл бұрын

I recently had surgery and just before it went black I said: "Please, please keep my IV in!" I had ripped out 7 IVs because they couldn't propperly put them in

@kanedaku 2 жыл бұрын

There's no physically possible way to put in an IV to stop it from being ripped out. You're just a nervous Nellie.

@f1awsy 4 жыл бұрын

when i had my wisdom teeth removed the last words went like me: So when should i feel it doctor: right about now me: * fucin goes linp but still awake* god yam, i can. t feels me boody. oh shiiiit. Doctor: ok me* sleepong when i wole up: ohhh heloo theer. doctor: you wanna try walking me: hyeck yeah proceeds to stand up and sprint down the hallway like a drunk man doctor: oook back to the bed me: aww already sleep time ok gnight

@coffeedata7107 4 жыл бұрын

This kicked me hard lmaoo

@pork7857 4 жыл бұрын

Stroke?

@gruntlos 4 жыл бұрын

The spelling looks like you wrote this while going under

@f1awsy 4 жыл бұрын

Dudasthegamer Oh god i never looked at this comment after i posted it. Hahah lmao it really does. 😂

@demonetization6596 5 жыл бұрын

I had to go for a surgery,I remember them placing a green mask on me,the doctor jokingly said“Any last words?" I said“If I die,sleep with your eyes open"and passed out

@MechaMeow01 5 жыл бұрын

Oh. My. Fucking.God. That is class.

@njplayz5958 5 жыл бұрын

My ear was getting surgery and they had to give me gas to put me to sleep, and I asked: "Whats this funny stuff?" Doctor: "Laughing gas, it always makes people laugh." Me: "I bet you I wont laugh." Doctor: "Poop." Me: "Hahahahaha" Also me: "dammit." Then I passed out.

@user-uw8dn7db1l 5 жыл бұрын

Why did I laugh at this

@HH-kl8ed 5 жыл бұрын

NJ Playz Exact same surgery and exact same conversation. You’re scaring me

@CoffeeMadeMeSay 5 жыл бұрын

Awww you're so cute

@TheZephyrsWind 5 жыл бұрын

Your ear? I am disabled & they pay only for emergencies. I lost part of my earlobe as the flesh underwent necrosis. No idea what caused it, though a brown recluse made a baseball sized piece of my flesh die, even down to the bone. I took care of the daily cleaning, removing more dead flesh, & packing it daily. When I could finally see the doctor I showed him & he said "that's impressive, most people mess up & make it worse when self treating." I still have a crater there on my thigh & the leg is weaker due to muscle loss. Stupid spiders. That one is less than a quarter in size, so don't judge spiders by size. Plus the initial bite felt like a tiny poke or pinch.

@naelyneurkopfen9741 5 жыл бұрын

Honestly laughed till I cried! Thanks, I needed that! 😂

@samuraix558 4 жыл бұрын

"Remember, my dear Obi Wan. I've loved you always. I always will." *Dies dramatically in typical Star Wars love interest fashion*

@xepher3179 4 жыл бұрын

"Holy sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet" 😂

@ogun4921 5 жыл бұрын

"I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip-..." *black out*

@abragim6360 5 жыл бұрын

*wakes up* And a large soda

@AlphaWolf-xi1dg 5 жыл бұрын

Why is this Soo funny to me just the fact you continue after

@majormadcat 4 жыл бұрын

after waking up i had a very strong urge for lemonade and asked them for "Watered lemons"

@spacekid9680 4 жыл бұрын

Lol

@nithidesikan6458 4 жыл бұрын

I love watered lemons

@Starfish_Manatee 4 жыл бұрын

@@nithidesikan6458 same

@xdgamerkid 4 жыл бұрын

This is the best one here

@Shadow-zq9ey 4 жыл бұрын

“When will I get my makeawish thingy” And then I was out

@groovymovie3213 4 жыл бұрын

“Mrs. Obama, it’s been an honor”

@joefrayling9263 4 жыл бұрын

"goddamnit you killed me" "quick were losing me" laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheek

@natalienewton3711 4 жыл бұрын

SAME IM DYING😂😂

@bmx_toronto8316 5 жыл бұрын

me: knock knock surgeon: whos there me: cliff hanger surgeon: cliff hanger who me: *goes under*

@wiebs9640 5 жыл бұрын

This is gold!!

@NEKROFUCKER 4 жыл бұрын

Last thing I said was “hey this actually smells goo-“

@ericcotto5378 4 жыл бұрын

when I went into surgery to get my appendix out I said on anesthesia "woahhhhh, this is good stuff" lmaoooooo

@Tankling28 5 жыл бұрын

Mine was the knock out gas using the mask, right before I went under I said "wait a second... this smells like chloroform." The doctor nearly fell back in his chair, I felt accomplished.