Dude. You described Patchface's voice as "something upsetting" then switched to an ordinary Australian accent. I am in absolute awe.

George: people dont like Stannis The fans: STANNIS THE MANNIS, the rightful king of Westeros

My left ear enjoyed this.

Can you believe Renly invented the pride flag?!

The first time I read this chapter I was on shrooms. it took 2.5 hours and I could feel Cressen's bones ache, I was next to him every damn step. it was magical, but a wierd chapter for the experience.

Stannis has the most underrated character development in the series. He clearly starts out douchey and entitled in book 2 but defeat taught him what truly matters most. His development in book 3 is especially impressive, he starts out desperate and power hungry, willing to sacrifice his own nephew for the throne but thanks to Davos the best character he saves the whole realm from the wildlings.

I like how your voice is so soothing and mellow when you've got a script and here it just goes into jolly pirate mode :D

Fun fact: Davos swimming back and forth across the narrow sea at 0.99c for nearly 40 years was actually what caused the Doom of Valyria.

I fell asleep with this on my head phones. I dont know whats funnier......Me dozing and waking to your voice which is hysterical when you get loud OR my Husband reactions to me being jolted awake with a sleep giggle. You're fantastic. Been listening for years now. xxx

Longest episode ever. Beat the previous record with 5 minutes. Nice to have you back, Schwift :)

I literally had a dream that you started acok and now it's hear, I prophecized it

I can’t believe I missed this D : Thank you so much for coming back Schwifty!

“Get in my pie” -Wylla Manderly

Looking forward to more Cokabridges

Not sure if this ever came up in the chat, but maybe Renly dressed up as a rain god as a nod to his heritage: Storm’s End, lords of the storm lands... although house Durrandon is “now extinct”, Orys Baratheon married the only daughter of the last storm king, so that still runs in Renly’s veins??

Drunky Schwift is the best Schwift :D

Schwifts energy is so contagious in this episode

I always imagined Patchface would sound a bit like the jester Cicero in Skyrim. Just shrill and unsettling.

My man Schwifty, oh how your presence has been missed. Great to have you back!

Saved the playlist some time ago to listen to later thinking it's a serious reading. So I'm about to go to sleep and thought hey a bit of audiobook action would be nice let's listen to this. Now I'm wide awake again because LOL ^^

I'd really want this distributed as a podcast :).

Probably my favorite prologue

It may not be magic that protects Mel from poison. Perhaps, what is dead may never die.

Great to see you back at it! Looking forward for the next chapter.

Going down a rabbit hole with the Red Letter Media--thanks for a good suggestion :)

I had no idea that Star Wars review even existed! Thank you for mentioning it, my life has been enriched :)

YAY! Missed all your schwiftness so much!

So excited about this! Thank you for doing it!

Stannis the "Spergaloid" Baratheon 😂

Normal audio around 12 minutes, for all those concerned

you've started ACOK, my dreams have all come true

Omfg been waiting for this notification a long time

*heavy breathing “yes.... yessss..... YES....”

Coming to this after his Alt Shift X Videos surprised me a lot. He sounds like he is either very deranged and just holds it together for the main channel or he is just stoned out of his mind and really drunk when doing these, wich is great

Fuck yes, that was awesome! Acokabridged! One of my favourite chapters :))

Erik Erikson That's really his name and yes, it's good reading for the mums and dads out there. Give your kids the independence and support they need at the right times in their development.

Would love to have it as a podcast

Dany fulfilled the Azor Ahai prophecy entirely in the first book. Eggs were described as stone constantly . You probably already know this by now

Me trying to forget my psychology final. Schwifty: ERIK ERIKSEN Me: GODDAMN IT

I love that you referenced Flyentology lyrics by El-P. LOVE.

Please make these into podcast. Be so much easier to listen to.

Joe Targyrian is my Fursona

The stone probably refers to petrification which is the change from organic material two Stone via mineral saturation so by waking the stone dragon eggs Daenerys woke dragons from Stone

Will this be on bandcamp? *Edit:* Nvm, just finished listening to the whole thing. A podcast would be nice for this

AAAAAND HES BACK!

'Archery sticks' is far more schwifty than 'arrows' or something like that.

Most of the main characters: This red comet is a portent about me and how I’m going to have a grand old time Euron: THE BLEEDING STAR BESPOKE THE END

A BIT too drunk

“Shwift, you think too much, and then your brain starts to swell up with citrus like one Doran’s fackin pomEgranates”

I like the series but is it abridged if it literally longer then the audiobook chapter lol

We need more animorphs !!

Color me spooker'd

doran is the fckin man! acok ! thanks shwift! I was starting to think you were done with reading these wonderful books.

Archery Sticks asghdf I cant

I just listened today, and yes I'm late to the party, but I just stopped by to say... I bet you dress up as a storm god for fun if you grow up at Storm's End! That is all. Love your work! Bye!

Please more of this and no chat it's so good

A clash of keep-yo-damn-scaly-ass-off-my-throno, mate!

OMG I THOUGHT MY AIRPODS WERE BROKEJ FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR

A big square of stuff. Wisdom, this is

Damn it I just got home from work. Give me an hour and a half to catch up lol

I think stitcher would be a pretty good podcast platform to put this on.

Oh man, how did I miss that?

I can't imagine 12 foot high crenellations being very effective, no matter the shape :D

game of thronos.. spot on ! some fanfic.. shouldda got better writers to work it.

Killing me with the left channel only swifty

Schwifty Tangent Power - fully unleashed

ZOIDBERG! Zoidberg always walks carb. Some might even scuddles.

I feel like it's totally possible that Mel got Patchface to swap the poison and then dosed the cup after she drank from it.

Westerworld! Westworlds medieval world theory!!! :D

Ayyy finally made it into a video!

Pylos of the Pens.

Going back I like to see how much have you grown... 🙂

I'M FREAKING OUT FUCK YES I'M SORRY I MISSED THIS BUT I WAS WORKING PLEASE SO THE NEXT STREAM ON THE WEEKEND!!! LOVE YOU SCHWIFTY

Chapter is 19 minutes Altschwift: 104 minutes 👐 Abridged 👐

Eat the tuna before the tuna eats you - Patch face

I want my men to poke other men with swords who aren't my men - Stannis on war

Damn Stannis is cold 🥶

So like I know it's an unreasonable request, but weekly ACOK videos?

Enjoying this take of a cok our gracious host is giving us. Poor maester Cressen. He has a shitty posting for a old ailing man in Dragonstone castle. Comment for the algorithm gods.

Fire and blood 🔥🐉🔥🐉🔥🐉🔥

But but but but...where-zee-poopin?

Rip Notre Dame.

Yeeeeeeeees

Rip steffy

Damn missed it

Shadows are coming Oh yeah

Praise R'hllor

I kinda like listening to some dude talk about asoiaf whilst being drunker than me dad on friday.

But if we don't like our Grandma

57:00 the real unanswered question is... how do you catch rats for dinner?

I didn't expect you to reference El-P lyrics!

Ugh the audio is so fuct... why in the would you do mono?

Poor cressen

Do you think Crab walking Patchface is really Euron though?

Archery sticks

1:28:40 season 8 in a nutshell

It's a me Davos

Can we replace the Amazon audiobooks with your abridged versions instead, cheers x

Petition to start calling it "Patchfacian Horror" instead of Lovecraftian Horror because Lovecraft was weird and Patchface is creepier uwu

isn't the waking stone dragons -> dragon eggs turned to stone by time, oh shit danny hatched the eggs turned to stone, she woke stone dragons