How to Make 2024 the Year You FIND LOVE

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Күн бұрын

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Want to find love in 2024?
Now is the time when everyone is making New Year’s resolutions. It’s fun and I love that feeling of optimism before January begins. But we also know how hard it is to break old habits and patterns-and end up feeling a sense of failure and frustration if we don’t reach our goals . . .
In today’s new video, I share with you the #1 resolution you should focus on this year to move toward a successful love life.
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▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 - 1:34 - One Challenge With New Year’s Resolutions
1:34 - 3:38 - Our “Operating System”
3:38 - 4:30 - Working With Faulty Imprints
4:30 - 6:17 - Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn
6:17 - 7:19 - The Wiring We Didn’t Choose
7:19 - 9:35 - “What Is Wrong With Me?”
9:35 - 10:03 - The Key to Being Kinder to Ourselves
10:03 - 10:57 - Start With Compassion
10:57 - 12:45 - Slow but Real Progress
12:45 - 15:11 - Unraveling Painful Patterns and Creating New Ones
15:11 - 16:39 - Year-End Wrap-Up

Пікірлер: 375

@miahollingworth7898 5 ай бұрын

My pattern is I emotionally and physically isolate when I feel sad, lonely, anxious etc, believing that no-one wants to or has time or the capacity to hold space for me.

@marymartin6896 5 ай бұрын

I believe that due to being raised by a physically abusive father and a passive mother. I am tolerating verbal abuse and disrespect. The worst part is looking back. I attract these men. I am on a mission to fix and heal me. I believe the partner I dream of is out there, and we will come together when I get to my goal to fix myself. I will get your book.❤

@anjalinair2151 5 ай бұрын

Hii Mary, wish you all the best for your growth.

@tricindahope205 5 ай бұрын

Praying for u to heal and be fixed. Glad u have made it ur goal.

@NS__ 5 ай бұрын

I hope you find the love you are looking for in 2024!!

@LydDee 5 ай бұрын

Omg I see myself in your comment😢 I hope we can learn to set healthy boundaries and receive the love and respect that we deserve❤❤❤ Healthy new year🎉

@clareninsiima6531 5 ай бұрын

I am sending you love from Uganda. I have been in an extremely abusive marriage but I chose to let go. I wish you all the best hope you stop tolerating anything that lowers your vibrations and leads you to attract the very behavioral traits that you are running away from.

@kimmcolarossi4991 5 ай бұрын

I need to work speaking my truth in love. I tend to hide my feelings, hide what I want, hide from love. I’m terrified to open up and be vulnerable.

@boneyfireems1446 4 ай бұрын

The right man will create the space for you to be vulnerable. It could possibly not be you, but the person that you’re with.

@lisaanderson1695 5 ай бұрын

The main pattern I need to break in the coming year is avoidance. But while doing that, I also need to work on not over-investing in people emotionally or spinning out over rejection.

@ilanajacobs5539 5 ай бұрын

I relate to that!

@michael.j.snyder 5 ай бұрын

The hard part is over investing in people emotionally from the early stages seems to make them lose interest. Nowadays, everyone’s concerned about dating someone above them on the social/sexual hierarchy. If you admire them, then they feel that they’re above you and move on!

@lovethliberty 5 ай бұрын

Avoidance of what exactly, please?

@mathewkeipert6021 5 ай бұрын

I started my changes not on New Years day but a random day. October 2 2023 is just such a date. That was a day to start looking after myself. No alcohol, eating better, seeking out health professionals etc... It's now day 98. I'm empowered, think clearer, have more energy and ready to change other parts of my life. The key for me is DISCIPLINE not Motivation. It's corny but love yourself, be patient and stay the course. It worked for me.

@TexasAries4 5 ай бұрын

I have watched you consistently for almost ten years now. You speak with the same loving compassion today as you did back then. You are a blessing ❤

@jackdeniston59 5 ай бұрын

!0 years? What does your husband say?

@sharonp223 5 ай бұрын

This year I want to practice being grateful for everything and remind myself that one bad chapter doesn't define the entire story. Also learn to have better standards for myself when it comes to dating. Happy New year to everyone reading this and hope we have a great one!

@ChrisnathaTV 5 ай бұрын

Happy new year! Have you considered a gratitude journal or gratitude jar? They have been helpful for me to have an attitude of gratitude. Wishing you an amazing year

@me-kb7hr 5 ай бұрын

thank you for your great usage of words, you really summed up what was going on in my head! Wishing you a great year too, and for practicing gratitude you could maybe start journaling!

@umulia678 5 ай бұрын

The pattern i want to work on this year, is giving myself more compassion when I feel like I dont deserve good people around me

@zf970 5 ай бұрын

I'm gonna work on my people pleasing behavior which has held me back alot, specially in work related situations. Gonna speak and stand up for myself while holding the little terrified girl inside of me to let her know she is not alone, that I will protect her no matter what.

@lisaherrin4705 5 ай бұрын

My pattern that I believe stems from childhood and false negative thoughts is perfectionism and doing things with the intention of appearing a certain way to others. Not only is it exhausting, stressful and gives me anxiety, but I lose myself in the false narrative that I am not worthy and that my confidence should come from what I do and what other people think of that. I recently went through a breakup that was the first relationship in my adult life where I saw a future with him, loved in the most deep and vulnerable way, and felt supported, encouraged, and loved in return. Now that the relationship is over, I am investing my time in loving myself, reminding myself that I am worthy, not for things I’ve done but for simply who I am. I am grateful to have stumbled upon this video and your channel today, thank you. ♥️

@louiseswain2010 5 ай бұрын

My pattern is giving my power away to others. My resolution is to stay true to myself this year ❤

@lovethliberty 5 ай бұрын

I feel like I use to do the same. One of my girls has been saying this lately. Over and again. "You give him too much power". She even said that about another one of my friends who hurt me really deeply. The truth is, for me, if I love you deeply enough to create space For you in my life, I automatically give you the power to hurt me deeply, too. Hopefully that makes sense.

@lovethliberty 5 ай бұрын

If it's not too much, can you kindly point out ways this pattern manifest: Like, paint some scenarios where we give our power away. It's fine if you may not be able to. I'm really glad and grateful you shared this.❤

@hetastic_bro 5 ай бұрын

My one is: Holding my tongue when I’m not okay with what someone close to me has said. Plucking up my courage, I’ve already started my first confrontation with a close friend a week ago and they apologised and self-corrected. I realised that if a person reacts defensively or negatively to reasonable criticism, they aren’t worth my time and energy. So, in this new year, I want to continue voicing my discomfort to people who matter to me 💛

@kimmiller4801 5 ай бұрын

I have been trying to heal from childhood trauma for over a year now, as I realise I have a pattern of gravitating towards people/partners that need fixing ( I’m in their life for a purpose ). I grew up parenting my parents and was surrounded by abusive people. It makes sense that this type of trauma carries through to adulthood. I want to work on my boundaries, values and expectations. Feeling safe to be on my own. Find a wholesome, loving, respectful relationship Thank you Matthew ❤

@saritacarlin 5 ай бұрын

I never comment anything, but this one made me bawl my eyes out as I thought about my childhood and what I’ve had to do to survive. And then this voice appeared in my head that just kept repeating “I’m so proud of myself, I’m so proud of myself, I’m so proud of myself!” That is sooo new and unusual for me. Thank you, truly!

@ginagarrity-marykay5931 5 ай бұрын

Blessings sent to you today.❤❤

@ireefree2024 5 ай бұрын

It's never to late to change. I set boundaries and life now the happiest life. I have a wonderful husband, great friends, good payed job and boundaries with my family and all other people around me. It's possible 😊 Matthew video's helped me so much throughout all these last 5 years ❤ not only with finally finding real love...

@calumtorn1340 5 ай бұрын

Honestly, I'm so happy for you! Best wishes for this new year!

@ireefree2024 5 ай бұрын

@@calumtorn1340 Thank you ❤️ Wish you too all the best.

@kimbeetanrealme 5 ай бұрын

Last year I thought opening up your heart to somebody is enough, going with flow is enough. But it ends up in situantionship, which is so tormenting, it's about for 10 mont, but during the last 2 months of that, I slowly accepted that it's not good to settle on that, and just refraining yourself from a much more genuine connection. This year, I will still be positive, but of course I won't ever let myself get lost again.

@dhivyanagaraju5705 5 ай бұрын

Being empathetic, trusting someone blindly, all kinds of abusive childhood trauma made me broke multiple times..

@abbigailhamilton9873 5 ай бұрын

its so amazing how someone you don't know, have never meet, never spoke to can make you feel so understood, so I want to say Thank You. My pattern is to acknowledge and see that not everyone that comes into my life is my person and that's ok. I don't need to change and neither do they.

@Squishbish 5 ай бұрын

The pattern I'm going to break this year is to stop letting situations create patterns. And when I notice that they are, to take a deep breath and course correct from where I am 💜

@lovethliberty 5 ай бұрын

"Course correct" I like that phrase😅😅😅😅 Thanks for sharing.

@Cowkill 5 ай бұрын

These end of year holidays hurt like hell. We decided to divorce mid-november and it's the first Christmas and first Newyear Eve I'm gonna go through without her in 13 years. And it all ended because she did shady things behind my back this year while pretending everything was fine in front of me, even if our relationship was built on trust, openness and dialogue. I still have great hope for 2024 to be better than 2023 but it's hard for me to think true love and trust still is possible...

@me-kb7hr 5 ай бұрын

it is possible, just because one bad chapter happened doesn’t mean that your whole story is painted black! By ending things you just got some room back for people that really care and love you, and eventually you‘ll find them! give yourself time to heal and process all those things and you‘ll get better, i promise!

@Cowkill 5 ай бұрын

@@me-kb7hrThank you for your kind message. I think you're totally right but it is hard to think about the future right now. It's still fresh in my mind and we still live together until we find somewhere else to live apart and empty our house.

@melissawalden6370 5 ай бұрын

Firstly I would like to thank you for your amazing videos which are so helpful. I am 71 years old, have been married twice. I am happy with my life and like my own space but also really desire a fulfilling love life. Recently I met someone who bowled me over and then soon afterwards it went wrong. I found your videos on KZfaq and by watching them every day along with other positive spiritual videos I am feeling a lot better. Everything you speak about I can relate to. Being older I don’t think I am much wiser than when I was young, so my goal is not to be such a people pleaser. To be more patient with letting a new relationship develop and to keep referring to your book on how to respond to texts. 😅 Many thanks again and Happy New Year 😊

@sandyengelsman7450 5 ай бұрын

Stop trying to always be good enough for people and look to see if those people in my life are good enough for me. Stop taking less than the bare minimum for love.

@s97061s97061 5 ай бұрын

I want to break my pattern that I would push back my standards in order to keep people around, and I don’t speak up for myself because I don’t want to face conflicts. I understand why I’m like this. I’ll practice to tell myself that there’re always some other ways out.

@elle6300 5 ай бұрын

My main pattern is fear of vulnerability. Growing up my emotions were used against me so it’s terrifying for me to let anyone in. I’m seen as the “strong one” that doesn’t need protecting, truth is I don’t trust anyone so there is nothing to protect me from.

@angielyons6914 5 ай бұрын

I am such a people pleaser and I completely empty myself by focusing solely on the needs and desires of others while totally ignoring my self and my needs. Somehow subconsciously I think is i give all I have to them, they will reciprocate and it will be a mutually loving and respectful relationship. The result is I am exhausted and empty.

@adelemitchell5903 5 ай бұрын

Ditto

@tarulehto3856 5 ай бұрын

I was doing yoga yesterday and the affirmation was "I love" and I added "I love myself". English is not my mother tongue so I did it in Finnish and the result was SO powerful. I really felt love filling me, I felt self-compassion, I felt like i started healing from inside. My whole day changed and I still feel like something started to turn slowly to completely different direction. Try it! You will be amazed!

@MsLatracey 5 ай бұрын

Matthew, this video spoke to me more than I can say. I have always been a people pleaser putting everyone in my family’s needs before mine. However, when I ask for a need to be met from them, they panic and ask what’s wrong with me. My needs are dismissed. Being there for everyone in the family and always helping them was imprinted into me as a child by a parent. It wasn’t until late December that I discovered my family couldn’t care less about my needs, and that I had played the role of giver because I wanted love. I have felt so sad and frustrated that I have played the role of people pleaser for most of my life. I feel so used and abused because basically I was. So, I am spending 2024 deprogramming myself and to think about my needs. This video was a tremendous affirmation for what I have been experiencing. Thank you!

@lindaalfonso9065 5 ай бұрын

To keep knowing that it is okay to have my own opinions and ideas regardless of what others think and to hold true to who I am and to my boundaries. To keep pursuing my passions no matter what else is happening in my life whether good or bad.

@4t2lase 5 ай бұрын

One thing I would fix this year is my over thinking habit

@marthag9471 5 ай бұрын

Love the way you mentioned how some people's nervous systems are wired for stress. I feel that, unfortunately, I'm the same way from childhood. But I'm working on relaxing, not being always on high alert and thinking about the next thing. Now it is about being present for me. Happy New Year 2024 😊❤

@tiffanykimble9465 5 ай бұрын

❤ Thank You so much Matthew. Happy New Year to Everyone. The pattern I would like to work towards breaking is creating more space for my needs. I spend too much time solving other people's problems, being there for them and being therapist to all my friends, but when I need someone they are no where to be found. So this year I want to make more space for me.

@Asma-ul7fl 5 ай бұрын

Happy new year back Tiffany 💜 I relate so much to your pattern. What I d like to add to it for my case is create more space for my needs , without feeling selfish nor like a burden. I d also would like to learn more how to express my needs and create healthy boundries. Best of luck rewiring 💪

@theselfwithinus 5 ай бұрын

Matthew, thank you. You are like an old friend who shows up when we are in need. Very grateful to you for these wise videos and your guidance for a healthier and a betterment for all.

@celinejerries 5 ай бұрын

The pattern I wan to break is putting others before me.i need to create space for me first in this 2024

@rikki7953 5 ай бұрын

My painful pattern is hyper-independence. For a long time it’s been something I thought was a good quality- something strong about me. But it’s really just lead to isolation and emptiness. A holiday season spent alone while all my friends spent it with their loved ones was a wake up call for me. I don’t want life to be like this anymore and I really hope I can unlearn it this year with Gods help

@probably_at_work_ 5 ай бұрын

My pattern is actually multiple negative wiring.. First being the same with stress and holding on to it. The second negative self talk and unworthiness. Third is giving my power away to people. I have been actively working on myself for 7 months now and I’m not done by a long shot ❤️

@kinda_chaotically_shey3945 5 ай бұрын

I have had quite the year, just moved to a new state out of the blue a year ago and out of a crazy relationship. I’ve gotten into a depression state and have been sleeping a lot. A few days ago, I learned I might have some health issues that are causing it, and now that I know I can possibly work on those things, it makes me hopeful of the future and compassionate in myself for feeling so tired all the time and a lack of will power to do things outside of work and sleep. Compassion in my health and hopefulness of a healthier future is what is driving me into 2024! ❤

@kyramioso 5 ай бұрын

My pattern I want to work on this year is to stop pushing people away. If a friend or potential romantic partner deeply disappoints me in some way and I get hurt, I end the relationship entirely instead of communicating with them on how to repair it. I used to say it's my 'high standards and they don't meet it' but I'm starting to realise its really more like a defense mechanism response to being emotionally hurt and wanting to protect myself. Thanks Matt for the video, you really help people with sharing your wisdom.

@giannishen 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for making my New Year’s Eve not boring! Thank you also for your sharing this episode, it’s a super great job! I wish you a happy holiday and a great coming year! Happy New Year 2024! 👍🥰🙌🎉

@Claudia-tq2nq 5 ай бұрын

My resolution is to be more vulnerable with people in order to build deeper connections. My comfort zone is to keep people at a certain distance and protect a certain image of me. I want to unlearn that.

@johannelamoureux8495 5 ай бұрын

Thank you Matthew (the teams and JAMS) for this lovely video reminder of self-compassion. I appreciate having your support through these holidays. 🙏

@gayathridurai8374 5 ай бұрын

I do have a set of close friends. You have been that one friend who I haven’t met, but your content always have made me feel that I had an open and good conversation with a good friend..Thank you 🙂

@tulinozturk-balkis7111 5 ай бұрын

I am choosing myself this year. Instead of pleasing people and neglecting my needs I will focus on myself and figure out what makes me happy.

@neant2046 5 ай бұрын

Happy New Year to you, Matthew, and everyone reading! ♥ This has been the hardest year in my life, but it made me really start paying attention to a particular pattern that got me burnt out to "below zero" mark: I used to take onto myself all the things that other people who are important to me want from me... on the top of - and very often at the expense of the things that I have to do to move towards my own goals. And next year I'm going to commit to a healthy balance between doing things for others (which makes my close ones happy) and working on my own projects (which I can't imagine my own happiness without), and learning to openly and honestly say "no" to the former when it hurts the latter. Turns out that, in the end, setting yourself on fire to keep others warm does no good to anyone involved...

@sueh4282 5 ай бұрын

I got really hurt in 2023 while learning about standards and other lessons. The biggest lesson I learned is that if I have to make excuses for the way someone else treats me, then it is an unhealthy situation that needs to be fixed or ended. Most likely ended. I am in a place where men who do not invest are unappealing to me, thanks to Matthew. I had enough confidence to work on an eating disorder and originate a character in a new musical. My increased confidence doesn’t feel great. But, it feels necessary.

@JLynnLee 5 ай бұрын

I am a people pleaser and have silenced or muted myself in every relationship. This year I want to give myself a voice! 💜

@Habibaloves 5 ай бұрын

Wow Matthew you blow my mind with your deep understanding of people! I have been watching your videos for the last 9 years and I have learnt so much from you! Thank you so much for your hard work and efforts in constantly providing us with so much valuable content to help us understand ourselves and become better people 🤩

@smarco428 5 ай бұрын

I think it's important to review the way that we give, receive, and protect our energy. Positive, long-term changes will require us to be mindful and intentional with our words and actions.

@danijelavidovic7337 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for the angelic work you do for all of us. You made a big impression on me and I joined your course this year and I think there are interviews that I would watch at least three times like yours because they are so important for our personal growth. My goal this year is the complete liberation of myself - childhood fears, fear of loneliness, dependence on society, lost in myself, lack of self-discipline, ...., the intention is to cleanse and finally release tons of limiting emotions from my soul and body. I want to finally be my best version of myself****

@RachelSmyth-wg4nt 5 ай бұрын

This is beautiful Matthew, thank you, wishing you all the best with the book. You’ve really been helping me the past while 🙏🏻

@fifi2421 5 ай бұрын

Congratulations Matthew! Thank you for all the advice for just over a decade! Happy New Year to you, Audrey, Jameson, Stephen and the rest of the team. I was conversing and giving advice to a friend and trying to remain objective as possible, we debated on the concept of whether love is a choice or a feeling. I was wondering whether you could do a video on the request below. Video request: when does staying in a loveless relationship/marriage become toxic? If you choose to love someone everyday, if their behaviours change overtime or they're going through a negative phase, how do you know how much time to give them? How toxic is the concept of "ride or die"? Is choosing self-love ever selfish? Or is it all just context dependent?

@gemmarusso6865 5 ай бұрын

My pattern I need to work on this year is learning to let people in, give them a chance, and not think so negatively. Due to my childhood and my last relationship, I have built a wall up so nobody can get in. I, in return, end up feeling lonely, and feel like no one understands me and I'll never meet someone I feel a strong connection with. It is contradictive because I don't try to give people a chance

@oliviamathew733 5 ай бұрын

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Matthew, for all the advice you have given and continue to give. It is so appreciated and helpful. Happy New Year to you and Audrey!

@marilynoverton8142 5 ай бұрын

Matthew, I just watched this video again, and feel compelled to salute you for your journey of personal growth. And you're taking all of us along with you! You are a gift, and I wish you the best year ever! (BTW, my pattern is one you mentioned--people pleasing.)

@yanak7022 5 ай бұрын

My pattern is investing too much when come to some kind of a relationship after staying alone for a long time. Thanks to Matthew's videos I've started to realise so much things and started to set my own boundaries. As I've also used to be in stress all the time I managed to handle (and still learning how to handle with it) with yoga, breathing exercises and meditation. This year I will continue to find my inner piece and be better version of and for myself. I believe I will find the love 😊

@taylahparker8749 5 ай бұрын

I am a people pleaser, and I relate to yours about stress. I have adhd recent diagnosed so there is a lot of things I now have because of never being diagnosed or treated. There is a lot of things I need to give myself compassion for. Plan on it by acknowledging when I'm doing certain behaviours or thinking things and trying to switch the way I talk to myself and stop myself doing the behaviours.

@user-ye3os7rq6z 5 ай бұрын

I will let people see me. Let people in. I no longer have to feel unsafe. I will compassionately and patiently remind myself it is okay. I have two mantras that have been helping me "I am safe. I am grounded. I am supported by the universe." and "I am accepting love and acceptance for being my authentic self." Much love to you, Matthew, and your team and your community. And huge congrats on your recent wedding and book launch❤

@QualityIsQueen 5 ай бұрын

Matthew, you have been a huge help in finding my value and only accepting the people that I want in my life. That transcends more than just a partner. But also when talking I am able to communicate needs so much better. Thank you! 2024 is about communicating more about what I feel and how things Make me feel.

@karolinapankova6068 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for this one! What you are mentioning are quite exactly the reasons I don't do New Year's resolutions. What has been my most recent 'project', though, is to come to terms with the fact that I never got any guidance for life and had to figure everything out on my own. In my adult age, mum would often say 'I thought you were intelligent enough to figure out'. Well, now we both know that's not how it works. I'm working on it with my therapist now. Wish me luck!

@susanlowek8391 5 ай бұрын

Thank you, Matthew for a wonderful video. It was concise and a beautiful description of how our childhoods shape our experience, and you offered a solution which I so appreciate. I found you this year while in the midst of a heartbreaking relationship. I have learned so much from you, and I am so grateful. One of the patterns I have continued to create in my life has been that of being the victim. It is a very familiar feeling, and I am so good at creating it by making choices in my relationships and life that create it. Again, thank you so much Matthew for being a light on my journey ✨

@jacquelinemarcel7439 5 ай бұрын

THANK YOU, Matthew, for addressing trauma and how it affects our choices in men!!! Though bumpy, I am changing to no longer being a people pleaser, fearing losing a man, no longer allowing men to criticize me, to learn to be vulnerable as I learn to love my authentic self. These issues need to be addressed for change to happen and having you as my/our mentor through this is a BLESSING. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. FYI: I have been with you from the beginning. I'm 66 years old. I truly hope that all the other women learn from you so they don't waste their precious years, as I did, not allowing myself to be loved.

@Teddy-im5wc 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for your msg. I want to work on setting firm boundaries - being honest with my feelings and not tolerate unacceptable behaviour because I deserve the best!

@KimboTKB21 5 ай бұрын

I am working on being at peace and in the moment, especially while dealing with loneliness. I’ve been married twice and I have a grown son (love him to bits) so I’m at a point in my life where I am solely focusing on letting all of the past trauma/experiences rest, so I can focus on the current trauma (my health). I’ve been Type-1 diabetic for almost 38 years, have TWO rare forms of Vasculitis (MPA & WPA), Hashimoto’s, severe hearing loss, etc. In order to take care of me I’m learning WHAT should NOT go in my body to exacerbate autoimmune flare-ups and how to exercise to feel good, not be super fit (I’m a former serious athlete). Even though I’m not looking for another relationship or companion I’m subscribed to Love Life because I believe in your work, Matthew, and it helps me daily. Thank you for this message. Congratulations on your wedding!!! And Happy New Year to you and your amazing team! ❤🎉😊

@jenn8179 5 ай бұрын

My pattern has been taking care of myself from a young age. I can't rely on anyone...its just me. My 12 year marriage ended this year. I very much took charge of everything and he was happy to let me. Until I started feeling resentful. He started feeling useless and controlled. I wanted to work on things...he did not. Asking for help and being vulnerable is the most difficult thing I've ever faced.

@Mkr7942 5 ай бұрын

I can so relate to this.

@lolabella4047 5 ай бұрын

First off, Congratulations on your marriage❣️I AM SO THANKFUL TO HAVE FOUND THIS VIDEO. Listening to you gave me a lump in my throat, I have finally, at age 50 realized what my problem is and hearing you, Matthew, what your journey is what made me cry. We are all broken in some way or other 😞. Thank you for making this video. I will join you now and later in October, as I live in Florida. Your video has truly been heaven sent ❤ thank you 🙏 😌

@merianne 5 ай бұрын

This was so incredible and your pattern resonates with me and it’s comforting to know that i am not alone. Thank you.

@susannefitzpatrick9955 5 ай бұрын

Matthew - these videos where you just sit close to the camera and talk are much better than your others where there are several people involved (no offence to them). This is really engaging with your audience and I hope you continue to do them this way. Would you do a video to help older people find connection and (hopefully) love again please because I really believe that in life, some people are just destined to walk their path alone without long-term love. Help!!

@KerryBaldwin 5 ай бұрын

The pattern I need to work on is the idea that I have to earn love. This is one thing I haven't been able to crack and I believe it's because I don't treat myself as someone who deserves love. When I feel like this, I neglect my own self-care. So, I believe making self-care a priority for me is what I want to work on.

@laurasalangsang309 4 ай бұрын

I want to break the pattern of always needing love and acceptance from others rather than trying to love myself.

@Matluba0625 5 ай бұрын

Thank you Matthew.Happy New Year to you and your family 🎄💙💖🤍❤️

@Aumazul 5 ай бұрын

The pattern that I want to work with is my fear. When I say this I mean the way I react or act when I feel fear.. I've been struggling a lot in my years on this earth with the sense of fear, the fear that I'm not loved, that people don't like me and so on. A constant fight between the conditional and unconditional love that I was raised in. So I wanna break this fear and become a better person for me!

@me-kb7hr 5 ай бұрын

this year i‘ll give my best to remind myself everyday that just because one bad chapter happened, doesn’t mean that my entire story will be drawn by bad events. i‘ll give my best to remind myself to stay grounded, not spiral into anxiety and fear of not finding true love and live a happy ans fulfilling life…

@marilynoverton8142 5 ай бұрын

Love to you, Matthew! This video is so very helpful, vulnerable, and wise. Yes, old patterns may not serve us now. Thank you so much for all your sharing and coaching through the years. God bless you always, and wishing you and Audrey much happiness together.

@jaycoyle8006 5 ай бұрын

A huge people pleaser. Working on this! Thank you.

@deborahostmo 5 ай бұрын

Happy New Year - Congratulations on your own Love Life - as Newly Weds I’m wishing you and Audrey a fantastic New Year.

@justeannhansen1751 5 ай бұрын

It’s amazing how helpful it is when we are vulnerable to share our experiences, struggles, and insights with each other. We learn so much just from hearing other people’s real human experiences that we can oftentimes relate to, even if not exactly, it can inspire reflection on ourselves.

@claudiaquarius-dd3cu 5 ай бұрын

My pattern I want to work on: to stand up for myself! 😊

@nellylim5332 5 ай бұрын

Happy New Year!! Happy Wedding too, Matthew and Audrey!🎉🎉

@rocheller591 5 ай бұрын

The pattern I want to change and have more compassion for myself this year is to stop fawning! Specifically, stop believing I need to work (on rewiring my nervous system enough, on my external business accomplishments enough, AND giving him enough gifts) first to be deserving of his love and investment. And secondarily, to stop rejecting myself (and giving him mixed messages) when he shows desire to invest energy and time into me in return because I don’t believe I’m worthy of his returned investments until I’ve changed enough to be worthy of and able to have a healthy relationship. Grateful you’re learning and growing in this Matthew!!

@TheUltimateBreakupCoach 5 ай бұрын

Working on yourself, letting go of past traumas and opening yourself up to trusting yourself to make good decisions is your way forward ❤❤ … Mr Hussey, you are amazing ❤

@jucxox 5 ай бұрын

Happy new year Matthew thank you for your message of self compassion. Many blessings to all this new year.

@meepo4212 5 ай бұрын

Boundary setting. My relationship ended because I didn’t set any.

@alexandraalexandra8814 5 ай бұрын

Such a warm message! Happy New Year!

@clemenciapineda5288 5 ай бұрын

This year I want to work on self love, setting up boundaries, stop investing so much in people. To stop avoiding the red flags. Learn not to get attached so much. There a lot more but hopefully little by little I will get there.

@maddiehunt9413 5 ай бұрын

My fear of vulnerability has followed me my whole life. I learned from a young age that to be vulnerable was to be weak and so I shut that part of myself away and felt ashamed of my emotions. As an adult I am trying to learn how to open up to people and believe that even with my inevitable flaws, I still deserve to be loved. I have been watching this channel for about 6 years and can honestly say Matthew has taught me more about love and life than anyone. Good luck to everyone on their healing journey ❤

@hubertdutrou3591 5 ай бұрын

You have been one of mentor these last years, one of the best for relationship and love for me :) Even if i have never purchased anything from you, you changed my life for the better I'm sure. and not only mine by the way. Maybe i will buy this book aha I'm sure i will like it if i approve already your free content like this. thx so much for your work, helping us finding our ways. And it's good to see you get the recognition you deserve.

@krislynch8680 5 ай бұрын

Thank you and congratulations on your continuing journey of building with your lovely wife. I have many of your programs and can clearly see the many times I've been the pleaser and given away my power in all my relationships. I have found myself a shadow of the person I used to be, I work and find myself running home to my next read or podcast, I haven't put myself in a place where I could meet someone, I've been hiding from so many possibilities. It's time to put all I've learned into action. Thank you again , you have a way about you that showcases your empathy and lets me know I'm not alone out here, It helps

@morganwhite2176 5 ай бұрын

You are truly brilliant. You change people’s lives 🙏

@angelaschmolli 5 ай бұрын

This video spoke to me completely on where I am right now. My pattern is always about people pleasing and I think it came about from not having anyone in my life who was a romantic interest until 7 years ago ..and I latched onto his wants over mine and it has damaged me in areas that I need to rebuild. I want this new year to be a year I know what love actually is and to do things that I truly want to do, not what pleases another person even if it means I'm not doing the favorable thing. I don't want to continue forming myself around what isn't truly me. As Matthew mentioned, this only serves as a way for me to never find space to speak my needs otherwise. Matthew thank you for this video! I look forward to the book!!

@beccamull98 5 ай бұрын

I also have the addicted to stress pattern, I never realised that my nervous system has been so addicted to it for half of my life. When I’m stressed over something that ends I switch to another thing. Not surprising I have ocd and panic disorder! Also I get attached too quickly and put people on pedestals in dating and forget myself. - I love your channel ❤️

@selinairfanq 5 ай бұрын

Hi Matthew, Thank you for the video. I completely relate to the stress natural state. I’ve been used to it and I keep burning out and then feel like I’m not good enough. But also thank you for the compassion part I definitely needed to hear this. Happy New Year to you and hope you heal from all as well.

@ericae8019 5 ай бұрын

Wow. I have been watching your videos for a few months and today's video was the most inspiring one I have seen. Your statement about your pattern spoke directly to me. It is the same place I come from and this video came at the exact, right moment. Thank you for your life and view-changing work. Matthew. Happy New Year to you and your team.

@rxx9165 5 ай бұрын

Thankyou for sharing your struggles and recognition about your stress patterns. Really insightful and unexpected.

@jilllaird6338 5 ай бұрын

Happy new year to you and the team. Thank you for your talks about loneliness over Xmas - it helped. My pattern is harsh self judgement and withdrawal from others.

@justinjrahman 4 ай бұрын

I shook my head & very physically agreed with your “I look for stress as my comfort zone”. Which leads to an equally destructive pattern I want to work on. The way I cope & the things I use to de stress. I stopped drinking 13 months ago. But now I’m approaching my eating habits. Soon and I have to do it this year, my addiction to nicotine. I fantasize in limmerance often. I’ve been able to separate. But I want to go further & heal from fantasizing. Maybe more dreaming for action. Anywho, getting back in therapy soon for accountability… I was going to exit the video but as always I felt ur sincerity in wanting us to comment. It felt good to do so. Love ya brother. Thanks again ((;

@annahenderson4127 4 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤ I will compassionatly practice feeling my needs and boundaries and expressing them. My pattern is craving love from emotionally unavailable men (just like my father, of course..) I loose myself in these relationships and I feel ashamed that I do that.. Makes me feel hopeless at times, because I KNOW why and where it comes from.. It’s indeed my comfortzone/wiring.. I will continue this life-art with all my heart. 🌺

@iwo9 5 ай бұрын

Happy New Year Matthew and you loved once 🎉

@sarahwren1202 5 ай бұрын

I just realised recently that I never learned to differentiate between being sad/frustrated/angry and feeling sorry for myself. They always go hand-in-hand for me. So that’s the pattern I’m working on this year. Having finally recognised this, I’m astounded at how easy it is to stop feeling sorry for myself with just a gentle reminder that it’s okay to be sad but it’s not okay to feel sorry for myself. HUGE!

@LouiseAnnMunro 5 ай бұрын

Wow. Love this! You're so right about adopting unhealthy patterns. Only now am I understanding how having to look after my parents addictions and emotions as a child, I never learned how to look after my own needs in relationships. Thats what I need to start working on in 2024. Love your videos. Thank you. 🙂

@user-us3st8qu2h 5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your precious advice, Happy New Year, God bless you, dear Matthew!!! I wish the best to all the nice people who watch your enlighten videos, too!!!

@user-us3st8qu2h 5 ай бұрын

enlightening

@shreyashelat4623 5 ай бұрын

Thank you Mathew you have brought clarity light to so many a dark area in my life. I dated one man for fourteen years spent my youth on him am now fifty an artist musician actor and have yet to break old patterns. I keep looking to others to help me fix me but I am now working on not having to people please and yet it’s hard my parents were unhappy in their marriage and my mom was in love with another man I played peace maker suffered from physical abuse tensions at home etc. that kind of set the tone for my love life. Thank you happy new year! ❤