You are not alone. I am adopted and my family cut me out of their lives in 2006. Nobody told me that my Dad died in 2021 and I never got to say goodbye. In 2022 our 25 year old daughter died, I told my family but nobody cared, they all knew her but no one showed up for her funeral. I went into a deep depression and now suffer from anxiety. I didn’t want to celebrate Christmas anymore but my wonderful husband who is my rock encouraged me to put a tree up and decorate the house. I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. If my family don’t care about me it’s on them, I did nothing wrong. I am a good person with a good heart and that’s how you should think. Love your videos. Have a great Christmas, you really are a special person, always think that.

I cannot say thank you enough for this Carter. I don’t have a relationship with my bio dad anymore for my own mental health. Holidays are the absolute worst. Especially all the “perfect parent” posts. I feel so seen and validated by your sharing. Always here for you too ❤️

Usually a silent watcher but wanted to let you know we’re all here for you during the holidays (and always). Sending hugs 💙💙

Cutting out a family member is hard. I’ve had to do it too. Just try and remind yourself about the good that is currently going on in your life. It doesn’t have to be big. Some examples: Cuddling with Stella,reading,baking,etc. Things do happen for a reason and sometimes it’s hard for us to see the good in the tough moments❤

The holidays as an adult is just not all sunshine and rainbows at all. I struggle with my mental health soooo badly and family dynamics have changed over the years … and it’s just sad sometimes. I’m trying to get in the spirit but wow it’s not easy… sending love to you and your family ❤

I feel you hun, I suffer just like you do and I’m so grateful that you show the reality of it. Give yourself the gift of peace. There are hard things that get in our path. It takes time to process, heal and learn from any emotions or life events. Be gentle with yourself and take one day at a time. We love you and i think i speak for all of your subscribers when i say we are all here for you xx

Sending you a big hug. Completely understand your difficulties with the holidays. Cut out family a long while ago and going forward created my own happiness. I embrace this time to be me and not having to live up to expectations of others and the friction that came out of those times. I live in peace and do what makes me happy and share with the people who do appreciate me and I genuinely appreciate them as well.

As a mid twenties gal with a sometimes strained family relationship thank you for this!! I love the holidays but I also feel so much guilt, sadness, jealousy, nostalgia, etc. it’s tough for sure

Wishing I could send you a big hug from Wisconsin! I know exactly how you feel and I wish neither of us had to feel the heaviness you are describing. I hope you can find comfort with your dog(s - including your sweet foster pup) and fiancé this holiday season. You deserve happiness and peace of mind. ❤️Much love to you, Carter!

thank you for showing the vulnerable side of the holidays. they truly are not naturally happy for everyone. i also struggle around the holiday season due to family troubles. sending so much hugs! you are so strong

I love you Carter! Thank you for always keeping it real. I relate to what you’re going through a lot and it means so much to know I’m not alone in it❤️

Love your decor! The holidays can be tough and bring up lots of emotions good to hear you are working through them. Take care 😊🎄

You are not alone. I've had to do the same and it's my only living parent. I needed to keep my mental health in a good space and remove all toxic behavior or negativity. It was not easy and not a decision I wanted to make but loving myself and being at peace is a must in my life.

Oh no, I also have a pretty bad family situation, but I am lucky to report that my mum is in therapy and really working on herself. So I started to be with her again. But I spent 2,5 years without family and I couldn’t celebrate Christmas with anyone at all - not that I wasn’t invited, but I just couldn’t go because I was so afraid of ruining Christmas for others as I was always crying. I cried alone on Christmas for two years. I had the most darkest painful times around Christmas where I wished to not exist. So I deeply understand. I am so sorry you are going through this. It hurts, it sucks.

❤❤I always appreciate your honesty. Your videos are so aesthetically beautiful while still being personal and real. Sending extra love this season. Hoping you have a gentle holiday season ❤

Carter! I'm sending you hugs, girl. The holidays are tough for me, too. I'm wishing you a cozy season ahead. Also, I absolutely LOVE the vintage Christmas decor. I have a similar style, and you are inspiring me to go back to the antique store for some Christmas items!!!

Sending you gentle and soft vibes for this holiday season ❤️‍🩹🎄🕯️✨

Sending hugs and joy your way ❤ Christmas doesn’t need to look a certain way for anyone! Praying that time helps heal those wounds, and that every Christmas after the bad one helps replace bad memories with some good ones! ❤️

Your house looks so pretty and cozy! I love all the vintage holiday accents, looks great 🎄✨

I am there with you. I still speak to my family but they always have more important plans than me. Myself and my husband don’t have kids and were happy to just have a quiet Christmas but were never important enough to anyone for them to think of spending the day with us. It’s incredibly hard and missing family far away too. Please look after yourself, self love and self care is so important. Treat yourself, you deserve it and you deserve to be happy. Xx

3:14 same I also suffer from seasonal depression and tbh the holidays have been super hard since my dad passed away 6 years ago he was Huge fan of Christmas and the holidays never felt the same. Its just my mom and I now but we have been rocky… so the holidays have been super hard for me. I want to be more positive. I also invested in a therapy light for seasonal depression not sure if you have one but it works so well for me so far especially living in a city with no good sunlight.

I’m praying for you Carter, I pray God gives you peace, comfort, and strength.❤ thank you for keeping things real and sharing your story. Happy holidays❤

sending you a happy holidays!

Sending hugs for your reality. You ended that vlog perfectly with the perfect ornament! Sending love and peace ❤

Rewatching! The black chandelier in your dining room is sooo ideal to have some festive decor, maybe dangly baubles or some floating candles from it!

I just wanted to give you a hug at the beginning of this video. I appreciate your vulnerability. I know it's not easy to be open and transparent, but I hope someone sees this and it makes them feel like they aren't alone. I also loved "have a gentle holiday." That's such a good perspective. 💜

Your videos are festive. Love it.🎉❤

I understand. I live in Arizona so I go through this in the summer with it being 115+ each day from April to October is really hard. You dont go outside and if you do its so hot your miserable. I feel you completely.

I have also struggled more than normal this year. I have ptsd , depression and anxiety that comes from an abusive past and one of those individuals is incarcerated and for my health I cut out all communication about 2 years ago on Christmas Eve. I’m in some good meds to help and they do help but it is the same with the weather change all I can do is sleep and cuddle my dog. And to make it better for my health I had decided with my therapist to start a program for eating disorders and I’ll be in treatment on Christmas Day. So it’s been incredibly hard and I really haven’t listens to Christmas music and have just done similar to you which is cry and sleep a lot. It took awhile for me to get through this video but it takes awhile to get through anything right now with the depression. You aren’t alone

Big hugs to you. I am a therapist, so I see how hard this time of year is for so many. I love how you are embracing the season despite the pain

Hey Carter, thanks for being honest. I also have seasonal depression, this time of years sucks. For me it’s Summer and I struggle trying to enjoy Christmas while not dealing with the season. I’ve also chosen to cut my entire family out of my life, it’s very difficult and it definitely makes Xmas way harder. ❤

We understand. Many people go through what you go through. Enjoy yourself at Christmas. You have your partner your life. You will recover. Take care. Merry Christmas.

I understand, My brother and I's last Christmas together as a family was 2011. It is hard and we will get through this. This is something that I do go to therapy for too because of child services taking my brother at 5 years old and I was 11 its very hard for holiday. You are amazing and I may just started watching your channel and has helped me with getting back in the groove for school, work and internship. Thank you so much.

Oh Carter! It's odd to want to hug someone I've never even been in the same state as! I also cut off a relationship with a parent and I hate it for you. Sending you prayers and good vibes for peace this holiday season. Love you big!

I’ve found you pretty recently from last years Christmas videos you posted, and I also do not have a relationship with one of my biological parents. Usually I do okay with it, but they’re currently terminally ill and I am getting married next year. It just feels, idk, worse than usual? I started my decorating early because I knew I wouldn’t have the energy to do it all at once in December. You’re not alone ❤

My grandma passed away last January, and she had a little tree like the ones you saw at the market. My Dad wanted to give it to me. Now it's one of my most treasured items.

Sending love Carter, the older you grow the more family your create for yourself. We are all your family too cheering you on. Can I ask what Christmas film you are watching ?x

I just had a cry last night because I felt so stressed out and after it I started planning what I'll do to make things better for myself. So yes it's good to cry especially when you have no one to really talk to and all the built up thoughts become too much. You can just let it out with a cry.

Sending internet hugs. The holidays can be difficult when there's a part of us that still grieves. We just keep doing what we can to get through to the times when the sun shines again.

Lovelight Farm is so so cute!

I have been watching your channel for many years. You have quickly become one of my favorite KZfaqrs. ❤️

I really appreciate the vulnerability here. I'm typically one who enjoys the holidays but about a year ago, we moved 10 hours away from where I had been living, which turned into about 14 hours away from my mom and several of my siblings. Last year, they were able to come visit us, but with my mom going through a divorce and her having to start over with a new house, etc, it's not really feasible for them to come visit and my partner and I can't afford to go there, either. We have my partner's family nearby but I still haven't really found a good community or network of friends here. I've gone low contact with my dad. All of our Christmas decor got lost in our move, including my handmade stocking from my grandmother that she made about twenty years ago for me. Add to that a lot of complicated and unmanaged chronic health issues and I am just really not feeling it this year. Wishing you a gentle holiday 🎄

I have one of those trees my grandmother made herself in the 80's! I love it so much

I could identify w everything you said. I deal w the same diagnosed and struggle w the holidays. Thinking of you during this difficult time.

Bows on the staircase are very pretty

love you girl!

Lovelight Farms is one of my favorites!!!! Definitely cheesy, but I hope you enjoy it!!!

Hi! Where are the candy cane pjs from? Love them,Thanks!

Thanks for sharing your mental health however my depression/ anxiety is situational. And I’ve been coping through cognitive behavioral therapy / positive affirmations

I LOVE YOUR SWEATER! Where is it from?

#carter would you be willing to do a video and give tips for the Christmas season of how to take care of yourself and do basics even when it’s hard from your experience?

Love Santa Claus parades ❤️.

I have mixed feelings about the holidays. Love them but it can be a tough time of year ❤😊. My mental health has been garbage in November. I think I have undiagnosed SAD also my brain is getting used to not be on SSRIS anymore as of last month. Also I lost someone special around the holidays. And I love visiting my parents but they have a very dysfunctional relationship.

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I would love to see a Trader Joe's grocery haul if you happen to visit one 😊

Carter can I get pinned comment from you please and what a incredible incredible vlog you and I wish you have a sweet week ahead 🥺💕💕

Sometimes we have to make these decisions to help our mental health yet. They are sure hard and you don’t always know if you are making the right one.

Girlie why aren’t you doing Vlogmas? 😭 maybe next year?

@Carter Sulivan ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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