Not knowing how to fit in has exhausted me ( literally ) i am 45 and i am ok being by myself. People stress me out and it isnt worth it to me anymore to be a chameleon. I just want to be me plain and simple. Its been an exhausting life.

I especially liked the part near the end about how we need to be encouraged because we are capable of so much. My first job nearly sunk me because my undiagnosed autism resulted my behaving in ways (e.g., a learning style that was too questioning, an ethical style that was too full of integrity, etc.) that had others around me excluding me and treating me with contempt. I would go home and cry in the shower and repeat to myself, "They won't make me quit." About six months into that job, the head of Personnel needed an assistant and the head of my department palmed me off on her. She became the best mentor. She changed me and I changed her. I ended up going to college and then later becoming an attorney. We have remained friends for 45 years. She's not autistic and she also appreciated that I was a talented person, capable of being a professional though I was just out of high school. I don't know who I would have been without her in my life.

Wow. I’m 68 years old and only this year has my search for the holy grail of ‘why’ has been answered. I came across Asperger’s whilst looking into it for one of my grandchildren, and the penny dropped. Last week I was able to have a candid chat with my GP, who I’m pleased to say took me seriously and has referred me for an ASD assessment. Yay. It’s going to take around 2 years on the waiting list, but, hay-ho, one day it will be here. Listening to this video is like hearing my entire life laid out before me, and further confirms my self diagnosis.

This video should be edited to remove the audio issues; I almost gave up on this lecture due to that-but glad I persisted, because there is an incredible amount of valuable data about the distinct characteristics of girls and women with autism. Thank you!

Finding this lecture, almost 3 years ago now, changed my Life. I had always "known".. being fascinated with Autistic Pop culture characters from a young age. With 19, I asked my Psychiatrist if Autism could explain my persistent relationship &adulting problems. He said, since I had a boyfriend, that wasn't possible. He was wrong.I was right. Finishing my ASD Assessment in a couple of days, & living by best Autistic life since this video opened my eyes.Thank you Sarah for the impact you had on my life.

Wow, she is describing my whole life as a kid, teenager and adult.

This woman is very intelligent and articulate! Every word is perfect in her portrayal of this condition. She is a life saver!

There are some audio drop-outs on this video, so in order to save on the largest piece of frustration which emanates from this, I'd advise people reaching the 28:23 mark to move on to the 32:42 segment (with no loss of content). Otherwise, a well worthwhile presentation which rang a great many bells for me.

I got diagnosed with asd two weeks ago at 31 and was still doubting my diagnosis but this slide show is me in a nut shell. Ps I have a sainsburys carrier bag, who needs handbags!

I needed to hear your story. At 42, I have NF, but was an adult without access to specialists when they made the connection between NF and ASD. I've been diagnosed with everything mentally and physically under the sun. No one could figure out what's wrong. Nothing was wrong. Just different. I needed to know. I needed to hear it.

Absolutely brilliant the best explained video about girls with autism I'm only 14 but this explains my teenage years perfectly I go to a all girls school and that means talk about makeup/boys/friends/fashion/ and it is just exhausting I'm ok at school but when I get home I take the mask of and I'm a complete different person and no one would ever know. Great video well done.

Im.a single female almost 46 and have no siblings I was told in 2005 when I was about 28 yrs old that it SEEMS LIKE I have Aspergers syndrome However. It was a student in a psychology class that said that. He saw the same behavior in me (at 28) as the kids he worked with at work. * we both worked at the same place. I looked up and STUDIED Aspergers syndrome. I said "my god. I have this. This is ME! " THAT WAS 2005 In 2011 I got my MBA. I can not keep a job for the life of me and every single dang therapist says it's NIT AUSTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER EXCUSE ME? autism explains it ALL NOT DEPRESSION NOT NARCISSISM not bipolar Not panic disorder Not ADHD Autism explains it ALL I'M SMART BUT SOCIALLY? OH BOY . I Want to be like you. Just give speeches and teach and talk in front of others. How the hell do I get a dang diagnosis since I don't have any kids. Period. None. No wife either. Amni going to DIE alone without a DX of autistic spectrum disorder?

Many people with Asperger's have friends who are not neurotypical, so fail to be diagnosed because they say 'Yes' when asked if they enjoy socialising. This happened to my friend's brother when he was referred to Simon Baron-Cohen (who appears to have rather fixed ideas). I love socialising, but my friends are largely Aspy or Bipolar and more accepting of neurodiversity.

Thank you for starting off by saying that males can fit the female autism traits. I’m a hetero man an flew under the radar until 51 yrs old diagnosed 2 days ago, and can identify with female coping skills as part of my childhood. I was shy and gregarious trying to fit in, a people watcher, being made to by a overbearing, mentally and physically abusive mother. I feel more relaxed around women, if having a male friend it’s generally only one close one.

From experience and all the life stories I've seen filled with misdiagnosed mental illnesses, I've come to the opinion that only autism specialists should be legally allowed to give opinions on whether or not someone is autistic, and autism specialists need to be updated in their education about how to diagnose it. Furthermore, they should be a lot kinder to women than they are! I find I'm not the only woman who had a traumatic experience with a specialist when I finally got to see one.

Listening to you makes me laugh everytime I identify with something which is nearly everything. It's a no brainer and a psychologist said I definitely wasn't aspergers

OMG, the handbags comment! I totally relate (actually to all of this, but the handbags comment made me spit out my tea laughing).

I met my first "cat" student this year. She is a textbook sample with ears, paw fingerless gloves, meows, scratches, recoils...

I just love Sarah Hendrickx. She has such usefull insights. I relate quite a lot.

I've sometimes wondered, it's a bit uncanny how much of my life is reflected in this video. Though, I wasn't very good academically. I'm told I'm smart by loved ones but I still only got B's and later C's and D's. I just can't keep up, it takes me so much longer to understand the material. Now that I'm an adult I struggle a lot. I can't say I enjoy life much. One thing I'm really good at is household tasks though. The repetition and sorting that comes along with chores really fills me with delight. I think I would've loved to have been a homemaker and a SAHM. Sadly life isn't working out that way, it's too expensive to live on a single income. I try to make the best of things.

I know I’m on the spectrum especially with the social anxiety and sensory issues! My daughter is autistic and we have many of the same ocd traits as well. Ty for this video 🙏🏼

This is so me. I can't believe it

I’ve just recently been diagnosed with adhd so I’m exploring the whole ND spectrum and so much of this is extremely relatable. I think I’ll wait a few more years for the uk to (hopefully) catch up regarding awareness of autism in women before I seek an assessment. Literally bawling my eyes out at parts of this presentation.

Yikes. "Asexual people, who don't have any interest in any kind of intimate or physical relationship at all." (1:05:30) Common misconception. In fact, asexual people usually want intimacy and relationships just like everybody else. There are some asexuals who dislike touch but many really like touch and being physical. Intimacy and physical relationship exist beyond the realm of having sex. Being asexual just means that you don't find people sexually attractive and/or have no desire to engage in sexual activity. It's not a statement about desire for intimacy or desire for physical connection.

Lovely video. A friend once said to me, "have you thought maybe that is how you want it". I never liked his answer but many years later it is still the best explanation of why friendships don't "stick" on me (love that analogy). We instinctively know what is best for us, and being under stress to please others has to be the most energy exhausting thing we can do. Sometimes when your actually attractive, entertaining and pleasing to many people, then you have to really work to keep others away, work at it indeed, like living down a rural road behind high fences, or shutting off all phones and computers ~~ way away till YOUR ready for company. Autistics often leave a littered trail of social failures and destroyed friendship throughout their life's path, with many a bewildered, disappointed and saddened "X" that would have loved to know us better (and many damn glad to be rid of us too!!). It still un-settles me. Can it be true, I just want it that way??

Guys you know you can edit out the glitches!

Nobody talks how aspies are honest, and can't lie , and their anxiety comes from that , they feel unsafe in an environment , as they see everybody lies to each other , and is called social interaction .

Gosh...this presentation helped me so much... I wish there wasn't sound gaps...I missed a lot from that...

Thank you for posting this presentation. For the second time in my life I felt my life experiences made sense.

I wish I could have shared with female family members but with the sound constantly cutting out I know at least one won't listen, so I'm extremely disappointed because this describes us both almost exactly. 😢

Hello Ms. Hendrix, I'm a transgender guy/FtM. However, myself and others such as (family members, teachers, doctors, friends, colleagues, and even strangers suspect a form mainly somewhere on the autism spectrum. Growing up I was unfortunately enough to expirence: •PTSD (due to mutiple CSA for most of my childhood. A relative and the rest strangers, so as a toddler I purposely isolated myself, I reverted to thumb sucking, bedwetting, (I'd hid as I got older and blam on one of my brothers and no one was the wiser, initially for to feel and stay protected but I learned that I actually enjoyed being alone even when I knew other things like parties, sugary drinks and foods were present [which I'm seriously addicted to sugary carbs], a family member would have to search for me to even participate.) •Bipolar •I'm very blunt •ADHD (I'm constantly moving or fidgety and so is my brain. I also have ODDs oppositionaly defiant of most authority. I get bored easily and tend to look through or past someone that I'm conversing with.) •Dyslexic •I'm a visual learner (not an autidory) •Depression •Anxiety •OCD (I have to wash my hands a certain way and certain rituals I can't leave my room unless I leave my room organized and put up, I have to smell my food, I hear and smell certain sounds and smell other can't usually hear.) •(past) Self-Harm and Suicide attempts •Panic Attacks •(frequently) Angry and Agressive •(easily) Irritated and Negative •Quiet most of the time (rarly but very chatty and find it hard to know when it's my turn to speak. •If it makes me seem normal enough, I will lie about it to feel normal. •I don't sleep often but when I do it's not very long (I get night terrors due to the CSA) •I'm really not good with sharing my personal things. •During elementary and middle school I'd have meltdowns. So embarrassing. In high school I was quiet intelligent but I still couldn't figure out why I still felt like I still wasn't learning like everyone else and alienated, I still have no idea where I belong on this so called Earth. •(past) Eating Disorder 'Bulimia' •Angry and Agressive •'Weird' or 'odd' body postur/language due to feeling uncomfortable, confused, threatened, or overwhelmed/stressed. •(up&down bouts) of Low Self-Esteem •Meltdowns (still present & last 2 months ago) •I'm forgetful •I do enjoy a steady schedule to follow, so I'm don't to change. •Honest (especially w/strangers •Head banging •I was born w/a twin bro whom was autistic amongst other things I also have 2 other younger male cousin who differ from the spectrum as well. •Eventhough I'd make friends, sometimes they'd stop speaking to me and I'd wonder why or if I had said something rude. •I'm Anti Social and love being alone even when around unfamilar people, feeling uncomfortable, threatened, or stressed/overwhelmed but talkative when chooses to. •I'm what I refer to as 'a tidy disorganized person' because although im a bit untidy know where everything is. •I'm in my late 20's. I look very young I've been asked if I was 16. •I do enjoy only a particular set of interest such as collecting coins, comic books, books in general, little figure rings/toys Legos, I love to imitate tv series or film characters.

I would like to thank you for this video. Very helpful. And so relatable.

All people learn social skills by observation; some need to do it with greater effort. The worst thing for me was dealing with the self centeredness, manipulation and back stabbing so common among high school girls and continues among adults of both sexes. Given the amazing qualities of many aspies - high IQ, depth of (few) friendships, independence, commitment to justice - I ask this with respect for all viewpoints - which type of person should be the one diagnosed?

Thank you Sarah Hendrickx for this video. This a good explanation on how a girl with autism like myself can be like. Greetings from the Netherlands

1) I *_REALLY_* hate when things like this are recorded on the internet, I'm so interested in what she's saying and want to hear it without continuous interruptions! She's "dialing in" now, whatever that means...hopefully it gets better from here! (I assume it means using a land line?) 2) I'm 36yrs old and for the first time in my entire life I'm realizing that there is a group of people that I'd actually fit in with! That's literally never happened before! I'm also American, a lesbian, an atheist, etc and I've never, ever read a description or list or whatever that was meant to describe a group of people that I didn't think: um, nope - not me at least 3) my older brother also spoke in complete sentences by the time he was 9mos old. His first word was "Button" at 5mos! My dad said they used to get weird looks at the story when my brother would say something like "Dad, I want cheerios" lol!

This is a great topic, but it's hard to listen to with all of the audio drop-outs near the beginning.

Thank you!! This was amazing information!! ❤️❤️❤️

Sarah-my hero! I think I would've lost it with the connection issues--what a stressor!

YES! Awesome talk. Thank you.

Imagine this with having CPTSD from narcissistic parents, being an HSP, I experienced SA at the age of 12, various narcissistc/abusive partners, raising two children ( Inhad at 21 and 23) totally on my own while working in a physically hard job while having Fibromyalgia. I was depressed and suicidal since I was a teenager, pregnant with my first son at the age of 15.... A certain situation about two months ago made me have weird meltdowns which differed from my trauma related problems which I've healed almost fully from, since making changes in my life. I came across neurodivergence and back to where I was about 15 years ago, when being in a relationship with a "typical autistic man". I hit much higher on any test than he did, but I never considered to be autistic. Now I do, being 52, desperately trying to get a diagnosis because without it, I can't join the self-help group in my town

I feel that know what you’re talking about and no one listens! Ppl have started to realize I’m always right so they depend on me to an exhausting point.

The audio is very messed up in several places; but, around 32 minutes, quality improves; is worth the frustration because Sarah Hendricksx has such valuable observations. There are several lectures by her on KZfaq. Unfortunately, this is one of the best as far as what she says. Entering her name repeatedly in search box may bring up more.

23:16 I hope Dr Tony Attwood lives forever! I used to own OWN 5 BOOKS OF HIS on Aspergers syndrome! What a MIND HE HAS. I'm a gay female Can I marry him? I want to marry his MIND!

I'm really certain I have ASD now. I've no idea what to do with that knowledge but I'm certain.

Like Sarah, I'm right about outcomes a long time ahead of other people, but I know the things intuitively rather than through logic. If I think hard, I can sometimes work out how I know, but it arrives in my mind as a complete insight without having to work it out logically. I hadn't realised it was connected to Asperger's. I have done several different Androgyny tests and come out right in the middle, though visually, I'm very 'feminine'. I do have higher than normal floating testosterone and it's thought this is from the womb being flooded with too much when I the girl was in utero. (PCOS aka Stein-Leventhal Syndrome.) This is the first time I've heard PCOS linked to Autism. I read from an early age, pre-school, and I think I've imitated how people speak in books rather than those around me.

Thank you!

My being a tomboy is that I'm the world's biggest Star Wars fanatic. I first saw Princess Leia on screen when I was 10 and I was like "That's me" because I related to her in every way possible and even more so to her actress Carrie Fisher. And yes Han Solo/Harrison Ford is mad hot XD

Must view video!

Brave and admirable!

Please edit the audio and try again? A KZfaq vid shouldn't have audio dropouts.

The best description of femal autism.

HI Sarah, I have recently discovered I am autistic. I am a psychotherapist and are very interested in learning a lot more. Can you point me in the direction of some good research on females with aspergers? I have learned a lot from your video but I want to be able to tell people where the research has come from to give it validity. Thank you for your video it's very informative.

Hello, just recently found out this is me, I have all the criteria, is incredible how everything makes sense now, but as it is explained even thou I am 31, I still have difficult with some stuff, communication wise and little details, but...in Mexico is there a community as well??, cause for what I've researched there aren't a lot of people experienced with dealing with female autism

OMG Am I the only one who desperately wants to listen but is having a meltdown from the cutting in & out? Freakin' hate how much it shuts me down....and all the background noise --rattling. Had to turn off the voIume & watch the You tube captioning.

If you get virtigo, headaches etc. you might look into POTS. It can co-occur with autism in women especially.

I need to talk to someone about this. I really really think this is it for me. And I'm mind blown and relieved all at the same time. But I need to be sure. I need to talk to someone and I dont know who or where to go to find them. Can anyone direct me?

5 years later there is a suggestion to have a partly different autism assessment for girls based on brain scan differences. This is suggested by a neuroscientist from the USA.

Wait someone please explain the sweating in air conditioning 😳😭😩 I’m constantly trying to explain why I’m so sweaty when other people are wearing sweaters (but if I’m cold, I’m shivering & just generally reacting in a way that could be deemed dramatic or even pantomime- rubbing my upper arms, crossing my arms, etc.) My best guess is that when I’m in a situation where I’m anxious and uncomfortable, I subconsciously know I can’t just sit on the floor and cry, so the only socially acceptable way to react to the stress is to sweat or chatter my teeth.

Anxiety Girl, lol that's definitely me as a superhero

Hmmm. The lecture slide at 8:42 says that a young woman with Autism is most likely going to be a mom by the time she turns 19. Is this actually true? This one confuses me because as an 18 year old college student with Asperger's, I thought that most girls and women on the Autism Spectrum Disorder don't have any children or are and single for the rest of their lives. This slide tickles me a little bit.

Oh my God. Someone needs to cut out all the parts where there is no understandable conenction.

I'm 9 minutes in and the audio in and out (mostly out) is just not tolerable.

THIS is ME to a T.

I dont like that she put sexuality experiences and low interest in marriage alongside health problems when she was talking about "male" stuff.

These slides are very specific, not broad enough for high functioning autism/aspergers. There are many girls that are socially driven that are on the spectrum. The speaker seems to be coming from their own experience vs a broad category. There are girls on the spectrum knowns as 'autism with drama' that are VERY socially driven. I would take much of this with a grain of salt, this doesn't apply broadly.

I appreciate this presentation and the related experience so much. However, it is SO white girl and woman focused that it reminds me of 1950s and 60s white woman feminism that also was very "colorblind" and therefore upheld white supremacy. Every single image / photo is a white person with the exception of a few manga characters that are more ambiguous. For instance where is the representation (both visual and cultural) for Black girls and women? South Asian girls and women? It's so glaring. I urge the next studies and webinars on females with autism to center these stories. If the data and narrative you do if is white limited, then please acknowledge this fact rather than be silent around it.

Wow I spent a long time crafting a comment yesterday and it's been deleted. So that's nice. Thought we lived in America NOT N@z1 Germ@ny

jesus

I thought it was only Americans who said 'a whole bunch of' - dreadful expression.

Could have done without the sexism.

This is horrible!

Assuming gender plays a roll is the dumbest thing I've ever heard what you are seeing is a small factor in a huge equation that people refer to as a mind state depending on were you live in the world determine how small it is with Exception to country's where that hold extreme views on women's rights either way this community shouldn't allow such Division