My 96 year old grandma was married at age 13 and had her first child by 15. She then went on to have 10 children by 37. The trauma she endured was incredible.

I think Black Women across the globe should start therapy to help with the emotional abuse caused by the Black Community especially black males!

It's disgusting how so many people want to rewrite history and romanticize this era. These stories get lost and untold 😢

And no 14 year old should ever be considered “grown”, baby or no baby.

Black women who are still centering males with all the opportunities we have to do other things... Man, come on. Most of our ancestors never had a chance.

I want my grandma to tell her story she birthed 12 kids and was treated badly by my grandfather I witnessed all this when I was younger. She’s now 84 years old and never knew how to drive or had a job because my grandfather wouldn’t allow her to do those things, he passed away in 2011 now she relies on her children and grandkids for help her because she can’t do anything on her own because she was a prisoner in her own home.

This is why I'm childfree and getting my tubes removed.

My grandma story was essentially the same. Pregnant at 14. Abused by all the black men in their orbit and that abuse supported by the women. It's a very common story in our families. She's 96 now.

i NEVER desired marriage even as a little girl. Growing up and meeting a bunch of trash men didnt change my mind. There are no absolutes however there are very few truely happy married couples. The divorce rates says it all.

This made me cry. I hope Granma is more at peace now. A lot of our Grandma's went through similar situations. Married too young and lived a life of abuse. I don't idolize long standing marriages anymore.

In my opinion, when they say the relationships were better back in day (60's). It was never about grandma being happy with grandpa but about her taking the hurt and not saying anything. Ie The cheating/side babies/beating.😢 😢 😢

Sounds like The Color Purple….its so sad!

You told him right!!! Glad she had enough self respect not to settle for someone who talked down to her. Sad for the situation 😢

I wish I could have had these conversations with my grannies. Because the rumors are heartbreaking I’d rather hear it from them.

Those burdens of long ago brought death to many households

Some black parents TERRIBLY treat their children. I’ve heard them cursing and yelling at them , even in public. No telling what goes on behind the scenes. It’s partly an economic issue. They don’t have enough time, energy, or resources to give children the upbringing they deserve. Part of the problem is a lack of knowledge. They’ve never seen good parenting. Some just don’t care. “Do whatever you want. Just don’t bother me.” Our children are falling behind because of it.

My great grandmother threw out my grandma at 14 because she had a baby girl, she then had another baby girl at 16 (my mother) and then gave my mother away at 2 months to her best friends parents who raised my mother and my grandmas best friend became my mothers favorite big sister, my grandma passed at 29 after being p0i$on3d by the side girl of her husband, my mother only saw her birth mother twice and found out at the funeral that the man she thought was her biological father wasn't(she still doesn't know). I think about my grandma, there was a much older man who knew her and he said "boy your mannerisms are just like Clara Mae! Yall make that same face and do that same thing with your hand" 😂 And i got my one picture of her in passing down if i have kids. Never met her and miss her anyway ❤ and i wish i could tell her that my mama forgave her and understands why she gave her away

Childfree and manfree is looking like the way forward

It’s so sad how people nowadays glamorize this time period. These women were tortured and yes ALL of them worked. Black people doing this “good old days” crap is just stomach-turning.

This entire segment brought me to tears 😢

Wow I just had a moment. We don’t value children in our community and I never understood what that feeling was as a child. My adopted parents loved me but not my biological mom so I felt like a burden. Also I saw how money was always a issue in my entire adopted family and I put being a child apart of that. This was a very good discussion. I feel like there is a lot of unspoken hurt and truth in our community from our black grandmothers.

This also goes hand and hand with grown men going after under aged girls. The only difference is marriage is not an option. Most men do not see a problem with this.

Girl please. I told my daughter from very young andbi kept telling her, if she got pregnant I would not kick her out however I would also not babysit. I also explained she had her whole life ahead of her. Getting pregnant is a.choice especially in this day and age. My daughter is in her mid twenties and childless.

You know how much you have to hate your daughter to not protect her, to discard her like trash after she was taken advantage of? sick.

I wonder how old these boys and men in the story were? This is so sad. The real “Color Purple”.

The other day me and my oldest sister were discussing The Color Purple, the movie from the 80’s, not the current one. I broke down this movie to her about all of the DV, verbal, mental and emotional abuse that occurred, the “R” word, underage marriage, incest, alcoholism and overall racism that occurred during that time. And that was the norm during that time period. We were treated like less than…those were some rough times! Maybe for the YT people it was lovely but for us blacks it was a horrible time.

Sex is the factor to why we stay dependent. We need to abstain for a while and learn about self-love. Its the only way to get the childhood trauma out. It took me 7 years until i simply let go and stopped touching people. God removed all my lust and I'm so thankful i don't see humans as sex objects no more. Thank you God

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I got here as the result of a date rape. My mother felt she couldn't go home to her mother, my blood grandmother. Thankfully, there were older women that were God-fearing and kind. My mom moved across the street from a woman from Texas who had 4 daughters. The last two were my mother's age and still at home when my mother was pregnant with me. That lady became my grandmother and her daughters my aunts. I'm nearly 60 now and have been part of the family since I was born. THAT'S the way we used to get down. We've got to go back there!

The Relative took down the original video, because The Grandmother was harassed by other Black Folks! Black Folks bullied her into feeling Guilty!

I love speaking with the elderly and seasoned of society. Their stories are the REALEST!❤

Honestly, my grandmother is still miserable she just doesnt want to let anyone else have him and all the work she put in. Sadly i myself didnt know that their was a "happy" relationship until i began dating outside of my community. Being introduced to being treated kindly by a boyfriend made me suspicious of them until i met my husband. He took me to therapy after explaining to me what i was used to was abuse and he wanted me to heal from it.

My mother had me young and I had my son young at 17. Often girls are accused of being fast and hot in tail but the truth is some of us were extremely neglected and were looking for love or thought we were love. In my 16/17 year old mind, I thought my child’s father and I were like Romeo and Juliet, but it wasn’t that way in reality. I didn’t receive much attention at home and this was my first love or so I thought . I still haven’t even been with another guy because of what i learned from that experience and others just living as a black woman.

Ladies ask your grandma about her story and how men treated her in her youth.

I was saying that to my cousin the other day. Women were slaves and the color perfectly depicts that.

This is what modern men want. ‘They don’t make them like this no more; marriages used to be about love not money; Submission’. They romanticize the past because for women it was survival. I think they should interview their grandmothers 😢

The issue is women's rights...they don't even see us has humans

See and I’m glad I made the decision to be single and child free my grandmother also went through the most. Her husband would get drunk and hurt her so I knew at an early age I’m not going to be able to do it. Men get upset at an independent woman cause they want to treat you any kind of way and hold that you need me over our heads. What’s funny is my daddy always told me to make sure I can do for myself, cause these men will not do it for you and he was right may his soul rest peacefully knowing that I was listening to him.

My grandmother's husband was an alcoholic who beat her and cheated on her and made children on her he ended up dying practically alone he treated my grandmother so bad and his kids too I don't remember my aunts,mom, or uncle saying anything nice about him..... ever

My grandmother is the biggest reason I've never been nostalgic for the old days of marriage. I read history, too, but yeah. My grandmother was 15 when she got married. She lied about her age to get married because she wanted to get away from her family; her mother treated her badly because she was the darker skinned out of her siblings. And I know so many women are in dysfunctional/abusive homes and use marriage to get out of them, so that's an issue we need to address at some point, too. Anyway, she got married, my grandfather was almost 10 years older than her. My grandmother had over 10 kids with this man. He was abusive and she ended up leaving him soon after she was able to have her OWN bank account. She moved across the country with her kids and never looked back. Because of that, I always knew leaving was an option. They never actually got divorced, either, so she was taken care of with child support, and all the benefits he had from serving in the army and all that. But I heard so many stories from her about her marriage... I knew it was never a prize. If a woman runs from a man with 10+ kids to take care of, there is nothing good there. Women don't leave good marriages. They just don't. And it's a similar story for so many older women. I don't get people wanting to go back to that time.

Not the Transformer😂

Something similar happened to my mom. She had two children out of wedlock, and was pressured into marrying a man (a neighbor who was not the father of her children) who was 17 years older than her. You can guess how that went. 😮

My aunt has a YT channel, Antoinetta Newby.. Victoria Robinson surviving her parents demons. She didn't do it for monetary gain , she did it as a form of therapy, she couldnt finish her story because it brought back too many memories. She talks about our family history and the men and women in it. After understanding what they went through, i dont understand why anyone would want to romanticize this era.

Who would have been teaching our grandfathers how to be good husbands??? There is an entire context that we must contend with in these discussions.

Tonya!!!!!I watched this 3 times because they way you put my thoughts into words yesssss Soulsister!!!

Honorable marriages need to be discussed also.

This is incredibly sad. Imagine the fear she felt at 14 with her mom saying 'she better be gone when she returns'. Sometimes you forget how much some women have had to go through. Damn.

My grandmother was 14 when she was married off to my grandfather. She had 15 would have been 17, but 2 died after birth. I don't know about my grandfather abusing her, but my uncle, her son would beat her. My grandmother worked from sun up to sun down in the fields and maintained the house. She died when I was 8, I didn't understand then, but I now know the only rest she got was when she closed her eyes for the last time.

My granny story is even more horrible. She made sure I remembered. She has passed on ...

So The Color Purple was right !!

This sounds like The Color Purple, Celies life 💔 it’s just her daddy took her baby, but gave her to Mista just so she could be his maid.

My heart breaks for all of our mothers and sisters. Better days are ahead though, we say so. 💕

Oh boy this was very much so like the book “The Color Purple”. Both my grandmothers were biracial from Jamaica and they didn’t have these stories at all. They were with men they deeply desired and I am grateful for that. I feel it for this woman and her generations because of the family trauma. I also hope that despite these horrific stories it doesn’t make you believe that this is how ALL black women suffered. In the states and in the Caribbean. It’s good to bring these stories to light so you can expect better for yourself and not think every story is this way. We are educated and know better now and can stop the trauma from carrying on to the next generations. We all deserve REAL LOVE.❤

Where can I find the whole video?

Our grandparents were either born on plantations, or were one generation removed. How would black men know to do something other than the brutality that was shown them???

thankyou for this ❤ real talk it was so needed

This brought me to tears

These are the stories we need to here.! This is real talk!!!

So many young girls during those times were sold in arranged situations or just given away

Wow! Thanks for sharing.

Tanya thank you for speaking life into women and actually hitting on issues that directly affect black women! ❤❤❤

My heart goes out to this beautiful and brave woman. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope that more and more women come out and share their life stories. Once again, thank you. 💜💜💜💜

Also even tho i haven’t lived in the US i have read somewhere that black young men had this culture of running trains on young black girls?? I don’t think any victims will be glad to share their stories. It’s disgusting bc adult men have also been molesting black girls and boys before it even came to that. I just know that our women have been trough hell and back, and still continue because lack of responsibility of “fathers” and real men in black race. That’s one of only reason even tho i don’t agree with promiscuous behaviors and baby mama culture among young bw, i know it came from traumas. It will need change in ourselves to help better our black girls lives

U right I wish there was more honesty in our community. There's so much denial on many levels. Instead of informing future children. Ignorance brings repetitive situations and behaviors. BLESSINGS Queens👸🏽 this was deep but needed

I dont understand the grown women! They see, they know, they've experienced use and abuse at the hands of Men and boys but never want to support their daughters... And quick to kick a girl child out!! I don't get it. SMH!! 😔

I am in tears.

As a child and even today I like being around older people. I used to sit and talk to my mother and grandmothers. I learned so much about them and life. I grew up with a dad, but I could see the disparity in the marriage. My mother carried most of the burden. I saw marriage as bondage and even dating the men had more freedom and less responsibility. The women in my life encouraged me to be independent.

Grandma did not want a baby in her house. She saw her own kids as a burden so why would she want a grandchild around?

I really enjoyed this video . thanks for sharing

We need a reminder sometimes and here it is.

I hear you Granny.

“ you want her you can have her “ tf ??! Granted she was talking bout a plantation but I’m ….. tf ??! No !

My father mother got married at 15 it didn’t last she went to NY for a better life.She left my father with her mother and a host of others grandparents they spoiled him my grandmother gave him everything material things that could not replace love. She did her best l found out my grandfather fought her my grandmother was not having that, he got married again had more children my grandmother dodge having all those babies.He disrespected his second wife cheated on her into old age.l thought my father respected him no at his funeral my father didn’t go so my mother was right he hated his father. I told my aunt black female suffer back then. Most men don’t like me because l can see their evil ways and they see my strengths as well l can’t be broken thank you grandma ❤

No-one seems to be mentioning how old the guy was who impregnated her. We know she was only 14 but how old was he? I’m assuming he was a grown man messing with an underaged minor. Except back in those days that was pretty typical because the laws weren’t what they are nowadays to protect children from adult predators.

My daughter knows she is my favorite person. Even told me herself.

Everything discussed in this video was also acted out in movies like the color purple and another one I cant recall the name but cisely Tyson played as queen Latifahs grandmother. Erika Alexander was also in that movie... Back to my point some stories can teach valuable lessons the listening skills need to be sharp or else you miss key points that can be useful later in life

I think my grandmother killed my grandpa....no 🧢

3:51 I just was about to say something similar how you mad at your daughter for not behaving when you are not home to raise her.

Can you post the entire video?

Thank you Tonya

Reminds me of The Color Purple story😢

The fact that they have been doing this since they were on a plantation is shocking 🤢

It's crazy to me how people want us to forget slavery but yet there's elders they are alive today that lived on plantations. C'mon now you can't tell us to just forget this era when we got the elders telling us they were on plantations. This mess still runs deep in our roots and a lot of our cultural problems stem from slavery days.

This is disgusting on so many levels. But seriously, my grandmother was 13 yrs old as was my ex-husband's mother. They had to go from the home.

This is so sad😢......still happening today. Smh

This is heartbreaking

This the cellie syndrome ( the color purple) 😢 same story different people #me too😢

I have recently finished reading the entire Bible and nowhere does it say a man is supposed to marry a woman that he has SA (sexually assaulted). But as a society, people believed it was a punishment to the perpetrator. When in fact, it was a second punishment to the victim. People were doing the best they knew given the circumstances.

Yes, I agree. I had to leave a friendship too, because a woman I knew treated both of her young teenage sons like GARBAGE. She talked so bad to them. Name calling and cursing them out. It was hard to watch. I couldn't do it anymore.

My adoptive grandfather's mother had 16 children. She was just 12 years old when she was forced to get married. Listening to this sweet lady's story is just so heartbreaking and vile. I truly applaud her for preserving and here to share her traumatic experiences. ❤🙏👏

How do we find the original full story yawl?

I see so many unhappy black babies and it breaks my heart

Hi Tonya✨ Happy New Year 🎊 Did you post the long version of this video on your regular page?

Bt they say our mothers marriages lasted cos they were genuine women🤔

As a Black child therapist that works predominantly with Middle Eastern and European families - we do not treat our children like gifts. We treat them like burdens. It’s so sad.

The elder women I grew up watching lived similar loveless marriages where they appeared to be maids. Almost all of them were cheated on and the men had outside children/families. Incredibly sad. I don’t want any parts of that. Also, I hate seeing parents and adults mistreat children. I love my family BUT I was always made to feel like my very existence ruined the adults lives. My feelings were hurt 90% of the time growing up. I never felt like I was good enough. My confidence is much better BUT when something good happens I still struggle with feeling like I am deserving.

Wow.

15:10 Protectors & Providers, right??

All the fast youngins need to watch this video!

Color Purple

This was the case back in the day. Having children out of wedlock was shameful.