Hannibal Buress - Jaywalking Is a Fantasy Crime
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5 жыл бұрынHannibal Buress talks about getting a ticket for jaywalking in Montreal and wonders at the absurdities of airport security in his special Animal Furnace.
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@Meatball_Wizard 4 жыл бұрын
Never knew he was fluent in French
@SunfishFan68 4 жыл бұрын
Hrithik Ravi he speaks it perfectly dont know what your talking about
@hwhaht 4 жыл бұрын
@Hrithik Ravi he speaks Franch
@disappointingperson9162 4 жыл бұрын
Not sure about French but he speaks very fluent quebecois
@hillarymarie6335 4 жыл бұрын
😭😂😂😂 this makes burst out laughing
@Lamon1 4 жыл бұрын
MrSuperChaosGuy Archives whoosh
@AmyNumberSeven 5 жыл бұрын
"I'm a dumb guy, my worldview is limited."
@houdini6465 4 жыл бұрын
Amy Veeres Underrated line 😂
@kohalurker 4 жыл бұрын
same
@andorszkladanyi1828 4 жыл бұрын
Gets me everytime
@89tilinfinity29 4 жыл бұрын
If most of middle America can adopt this sentiment, we'd be better off as a country, but everyones a genious and never wrong lol
@aaronyayger 4 жыл бұрын
@@89tilinfinity29 Yeah. Its just middle America. Totally just them. Definitely not like all the coast cities, too. They are so insanely open minded.
@adabsurdum5905 4 жыл бұрын
"Im going to New York to talk about you in front of strangers" killed me.
@SavageGreywolf 4 жыл бұрын
nah that was me *finger guns*
@polarwhite 3 жыл бұрын
my like made 1,000 : D
@chinocas1633 3 жыл бұрын
so i guess both XD
@DannySullivanMusic 2 жыл бұрын
haha awesome
@Falcrist 8 күн бұрын
RIP
@djungelskogsn7529 4 жыл бұрын
*kid shoots Hannibal three times with his finger gun* "Who killed Hannibal?"
@Sunny-qd4jq 4 жыл бұрын
Bill Cosby
@aperson5436 4 жыл бұрын
*1 000th like*
@takuachesancho6843 4 жыл бұрын
Airport security
@josesanta414 4 жыл бұрын
Damn only real ogs know this one
@chefboyardee2223 4 жыл бұрын
Scipio africanus
@ericjamieson 5 жыл бұрын
"I will donate 60 of your colorful dollars to your broke-ass city" LMAO.
@EPICLOGIE 2 ай бұрын
nice
@yaboikungpowfuckfinger7697 4 жыл бұрын
Hannibal is literally how our brains process shit when we’re high it’s great
@simonin3d 4 жыл бұрын
@@ASteadyForce Nice try, FBI
@b8IIin 4 жыл бұрын
@@ASteadyForce I don't think you've ever done any drugs
@YourSaddestDeer 4 жыл бұрын
@@b8IIin r/woooosh
@MerkhVision 4 жыл бұрын
MuchPotato weed bruh, its just weed that he talkin bout
@policbolsha7064 4 жыл бұрын
MuchPotato I’ve never heard someone sound more like a fed in my life
@TheHedgehogGiraffe 4 жыл бұрын
"One of my friends asks me 'you wanna hold this bomb real quick?'" its ok Hannibal you can say it was Eric Andre
@MrArea51999 3 жыл бұрын
I could totally see that as reality
@himaragamage6400 3 жыл бұрын
Uh hell fucking yeah
@jacknoble5846 3 жыл бұрын
kid shoots Hannibal three times with his finger gun "Who killed Hannibal?"
@Cumflavoredredbull 2 жыл бұрын
@@jacknoble5846 nice stolen comment
@DannySullivanMusic 2 жыл бұрын
lmao nice one
@MrPainkiller616 3 жыл бұрын
"I will donate 60 of your colorful ass dollars to your broke ass city." Damn that was smoothly brutal
@jamesalvarado3961 4 жыл бұрын
Hannibal's eyes °👃° 👄
@josiahveloz1473 4 жыл бұрын
James Alvarado bruh 😂
@xthukuh 4 жыл бұрын
LMAO bruh they do look like that.
@audiowithdrawal 4 жыл бұрын
What's in Hannibal's hands tho?
@giganticyufka 4 жыл бұрын
My KZfaq in dark mode
@audiowithdrawal 4 жыл бұрын
@@deathsagaXX zing~
@CuddyTG 5 жыл бұрын
Literally just paid a $197 ticket for jaywalking and hannibal's story was almost exactly my experience getting the ticket
@JACK-kp8tb 4 жыл бұрын
CuddyTG shouldnt have paid lol
@luisuribe5432 4 жыл бұрын
I literally j walk in front of cops all the time in Cali they don’t give 2 shits lol
@cyan_2169 4 жыл бұрын
In Boston the police will literally help you jaywalk
@habibbialikafe339 4 жыл бұрын
@@cyan_2169 I had one cop tell at me for crossing a street when the lift was green but traffick was at a standstill in Quincy. I just gave him a thumbs up and walked away lmao
@habibbialikafe339 4 жыл бұрын
@@luisuribe5432 moved to SF 6 months ago and ppl jaywalk way less in Cali than in Boston
@kaguth 4 жыл бұрын
I was detained by a Montreal cop for acting strangely in a subway station, they are seriously the worst.
@MerkhVision 4 жыл бұрын
U can be detained simply for “acting strangely?” I doubt they could even tell u the legal definition of that cuz that sounds like bs they made up on the spot
@leprechaunne 4 жыл бұрын
Where you being strange.
@Daddy-ue1du 4 жыл бұрын
It’s we’re all very strange anyway
@tjones590 3 жыл бұрын
Leo Velli was it the finger guns?
@kaguth 3 жыл бұрын
@@leprechaunne I guess you could say I was being strange. I have ocd and I was doing a compulsive tick where I rub my face in a strange way with a sort of grimace. Still, I think they could have at least spoken to me before they put the cuffs on, or let me go soon after, but no, they held for like 6 hours. I did the same thing for years and years all over Toronto and was never stopped or questioned about it once.
@Enbyvalent 3 жыл бұрын
As a French speaker, I have to say his accent is perfect
@gocpng4699 3 жыл бұрын
Ha
@justsomeotaku066 3 жыл бұрын
Ha
@bromine8494 2 жыл бұрын
Ha
@susie7479 Жыл бұрын
Ja
@tylerisadumb 5 жыл бұрын
Hannibal’s simplicity with his humor is what makes it perfect.
@jamesabestos2800 2 жыл бұрын
It's slow buut wittty Iys yo that's gaay
@Trendsetta.No.Gravity 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly lol
@neonfroot 2 жыл бұрын
Hes a black Seinfeld.
@repentandbelieveinJesusChrist3 Жыл бұрын
Repent to Jesus Christ “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Luke 6:35 NIV h
@raw_si_siht Жыл бұрын
Room temp IQ's.
@mxamiss5 5 жыл бұрын
"It's in Canada. It doesn't count to me" 😂
@blanco7726 5 жыл бұрын
mxamiss5 if its not in your country it doesn’t matter
@maddie9602 4 жыл бұрын
Gotta be careful with that though. It was a different state rather than a different country, but same concept: one time my dad got a parking ticket in Missouri when he was in Kansas City for a work function. Forgot to pay it before he left, and eh, whatever, he lived in Colorado, what does it matter? What, are they going to chase him across state lines for a $20 ticket? Fast-forward SEVEN. FUCKING. YEARS. He ended up moving to the Kansas City area (Belton, specifically). One day, he gets pulled over for speeding. He was going like 10 over the speed limit on the highway, not a big deal, just get a ticket, go home, pay it in a couple days, right? Wrong, because they had a warrant out for his arrest. Now, again, this is seven years later, and also, who the fuck goes around arresting people over $20 parking tickets? So he had no memory of this ticket. Ended up spending the night in jail. Luckily, the judge called it out for the bullshit it was, and basically told the prosecutor to go fuck himself and my dad to just pay the ticket and go home. But yeah, it doesn't count, unless one day it does.
@dallaswood4117 3 жыл бұрын
What is he going to be extradited for a jaywalking ticket he’s smart for not paying it
@mikemath9508 3 жыл бұрын
@@maddie9602 Don't speed
@red4711 2 жыл бұрын
@@mikemath9508 Yes "don't speed"
@theresanoelle 4 жыл бұрын
"I made sure not to bring the bomb with me cuz I know y'all hate that."
@ICGodInU 4 жыл бұрын
I read this just as he was was sayng it😆
@toothfairy10133 3 жыл бұрын
@@ICGodInU wait same
@BigSirZebras 3 жыл бұрын
I was taking a domestic flight in Japan. I totally forgot I had a liter of tea. when the security guard pulled it out I said I was sorry and would dump it. she said no, took the lid off, smelled it, put the lid back on and said it wasn't a problem.
@bigboysdotcom745 Жыл бұрын
Probably because nobody wants to bomb Japan so nobody cares.
@LMvdB02 11 ай бұрын
Lovely when people in a position of power just act normal and reasonable...
@MikeLaBelle 4 жыл бұрын
Best French impression ever lol...
@NicolasCharly 3 жыл бұрын
Québécois* Even us French barely understand them.
@ladybluelotus 3 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣
@Marvens95 3 жыл бұрын
Hello to My beautiful people !
@bluepunk182 3 жыл бұрын
He sounded like Patrice O'Neil doing that...
@RandomUsername81 2 жыл бұрын
*FRENCH*
@mistersamman8899 5 жыл бұрын
“My other airport enemy is airport security, they really seem so dedicated to keeping water bottles out of the sky.” This absolutely killed me.
@Jesse__H 3 жыл бұрын
_there's no such thing as sippable bomb water you're being ridiculous right now_
@joemackenzie7417 2 жыл бұрын
what is this? powdered water?!
@twelvecatsinatrenchcoat Жыл бұрын
The further away we get from the airline terrorism of the 90's and 00's, the more Orwellian and Kafkaesque airport security feels. It feels like hundreds of grown adults being forced to participate in a children's stage play to humor the fragile egos of some really sad TSA employees.
@DontarrestmePLZ 4 жыл бұрын
"Those are the only two jobs I know, I'm a dumb guy, my worldview is limited" I fucking love Hannibal.
@seabassmcbigfat 3 жыл бұрын
“Breh brag breg blah f R E N C H” And I felt that.
@kamuelaalameafonseca7584 5 жыл бұрын
I moved to Washington and somebody at school said “I can tell you from Cali” and I was like why, and they said, “because you jaywalked 5 feet away from a crosswalk”
@taitjones6310 5 жыл бұрын
Yeah, the NW is a trip. I'm from Texas, but I moved to Portland, and my first week there every time I go to cross the street I stand on the curb waiting for traffic to be clear and cars just stop in the middle of the road and wait for you to cross. Every time! Blew my mind. In Texas if people see you crossing the road they literally speed up like they're trying to hit you, or at least think it might be funny.
@semi6544 5 жыл бұрын
@@taitjones6310 -- I live in Texas. I personally feel like if you are gonna jaywalk on a road where the speed limit is 50 or higher; then hurry your ass across the street. Nothing wrong with jaywalking unless you are actually walking. Cross with enough time that I don't have to slow down.
@dookeland8 5 жыл бұрын
I was in Cali and they knew I was from ny/nj area because I jaywalked in the middle of the block when the light was green
@kamuelaalameafonseca7584 5 жыл бұрын
the majority of people do that in SD but it's a good way to get pressed by the police lmao especially if you're a minority or skater, b safe u never know what pigs will pull
@H0n3yMonstah 5 жыл бұрын
Jay walking is such a strange concept for me, in the UK nobody gives much of a shit.
@deven9565 5 жыл бұрын
The ending wasn't even a joke, just him being real, yet it was so funny
@lorenz0 3 жыл бұрын
on gp
@Lethal_Spoon Жыл бұрын
that’s what comedy is lmao
@ShowWithNoName 3 жыл бұрын
"Powdered water" had me laughing for five minutes.
@depurasangre86 Жыл бұрын
That's going to be my new code word for coke.
@InfernosReaper 3 жыл бұрын
I love how the TSA has an abysmal track record when it comes to preventing terrorist or catching genuinely dangerous things being smuggled. All the stuff they ever showcase themselves finding is stuff that's clearly not even what they're pretending it is.
@neonfroot Жыл бұрын
Maybe bc TSA are rent a cops that would be scared shitless if there was REAL criminal action going down.
@salvagebot1592 Жыл бұрын
Theatre
@Leto_0 Жыл бұрын
lol what are you comparing their track record to?
@LoDart210 Жыл бұрын
they're just paid bullies that are there to make people THINK things are safer. It's all a bad PR stunt.
@pwojo9776 5 жыл бұрын
Did the old lady get a ticket?
@barringtonfisher87 5 жыл бұрын
She probably escaped while Hannibal was being written up for being an arsehole
@luigimafia10201 5 жыл бұрын
She probably wasnt black
@0x73V14 5 жыл бұрын
nah, she was white.
@TheSpecialJ11 5 жыл бұрын
She probably spoke French and therefore wasn't a threat to Montreal police.
@Sunset553 5 жыл бұрын
Asking the important questions
@MrTigerlore 5 жыл бұрын
“What if it’s sippable bomb-water?” 😂
@azz75sl 5 жыл бұрын
There's no such thing as sippable bomb water.
@eidolor 5 жыл бұрын
You’re being silly right now
@netbookeater 5 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@bernewune 5 жыл бұрын
@@azz75sl everclear?
@bryjenkins3731 4 жыл бұрын
I kinda thought he said "bong" water... Sippable bong water made me gip 🤮
@RealMexFoodShouldntGiveUDrrhea 4 жыл бұрын
I was about to jaywalk in front of a cop once and changed my mind and walked the opposite way to the intersection to cross. This dude followed me all the way in his car. 🤣
@SL92018 2 жыл бұрын
Lol that guy is what is known as a "shiny buttons".
@EvilPaladin11 Жыл бұрын
@@SL92018 Why a "shiny button"?
@EvilPaladin11 Жыл бұрын
I love your account name!😂
@FullmetalOrk 4 жыл бұрын
6:52 the content nod of a man holding a bomb.
@Cuddlydeath 5 жыл бұрын
"Are you going to New York for business or pleasure" "Im going to New York to talk about you so i guess both"
@moxieswaygan 5 жыл бұрын
woah we watched the same video!
@FREE-lw4lb 5 жыл бұрын
@@moxieswaygan damn you an asshole even off KTT
@jasonbourne6365 5 жыл бұрын
@@moxieswaygan Shut up.
@Micah77798 5 жыл бұрын
1,000th like whaddup
@johnjacob688 5 жыл бұрын
@@moxieswaygan I'll never understand the fascination with people leaving quotes in the comments from a video we all just saw.
@GasGrassOrAssetto 5 жыл бұрын
Hannibal w/ glasses > Hannibal w/contacts
@JoeyLutes 5 жыл бұрын
arizona represent ✊
@Wutanginamo 5 жыл бұрын
Dave G he had laser eye surgery.
@Elegant_Sausage 5 жыл бұрын
He's cute with glasses for sure
@preddyshite6342 5 жыл бұрын
I can barely see what you did there
@iwanttobefamousbutimlazy3793 5 жыл бұрын
Dave G only real fans know this
@WaffleShortage 4 жыл бұрын
"business or pleasure?" "im going to new york to talk about you in front of strangers... so i guess both." roasted.
@endlessvoid7952 4 жыл бұрын
"Hey Hannibal, before you go to the airport you wanna hold a bomb real quick?" 😂😂
@ejdolo 5 жыл бұрын
I love Hannibal cuz his comedy literally sounds how my brain processes stuff... he sounds like he just talkin off the top of his dome. Like me and my homie smoking and he tellin me a long ass story.. rambling.
@SteezySteez2011 5 жыл бұрын
five0threeEJ yo, same lmao. I said the same shit about speeding tickets, “here man I’ll donate to this broke ass city”
@brenxbux 5 жыл бұрын
I think thats literally his process. He'll take those dumb conversations you have with friends and refine them into stand up.
@averyjs.9030 5 жыл бұрын
that's why his podcast is called The Handsome Rambler
@ejdolo 5 жыл бұрын
@Partial Sapien i was drunk af when i wrote this so i didnt put any thought into it.. idk why everyone liked it.
@rwaitt14153 5 жыл бұрын
@@ejdolo Out of the mouths of babes. Or drunk internet people as it were. We all think this when busybodies bother us over stupid who-gives-a-crap stuff. Like... why. Stop bothering me. You have better things you could be doing. I am sure of it. You are just being a professional nuisance. To me. Stop please. These make for the best stories when bullshitting with your friends. For some reason. Because they relate, I guess.
@JustAguyFromJersey 5 жыл бұрын
"Ayo Hannibal before you go to the airport... you wanna hold a hold a bomb right quick?" lmaoo!
@Regimeshifts 4 жыл бұрын
real quick
@maestrojo 4 жыл бұрын
I had to do the "bomb residue screening" the last time I went to the airport. Apparently you pick up microscopic metal particles on your hands if you were recently touching circuitry or computer parts (ram/motherboards etc) I had just replaced some old ram in my laptop before I arrived at the airport, so that was the likely culprit.
@SL92018 2 жыл бұрын
Wear latex (or even non latex) gloves when changing computer parts especially RAM and other silicon chips to avoid static discharge. Also handy side benefit, no getting picked up by the "screening tests"!
@Hassan-zw9tb Жыл бұрын
@@SL92018 wear latex when making bombs aswell
@thego-dev 4 жыл бұрын
a woman tried to bring a bottle of ice to a plane claiming "but it ain't liquid tho"
@Vinkie 3 жыл бұрын
clever girl
@sloaiza81 3 жыл бұрын
She was right
@CrankLucas 5 жыл бұрын
powedered water tho lol
@anthonygetdat 5 жыл бұрын
Never thought id see u in this comment feed. Love the vids bro keep it up
@SlyRatchet 5 жыл бұрын
The goat
@garyisgaming1224 5 жыл бұрын
I dont believe my eyes its Crank Lucas
@jinx3176 5 жыл бұрын
Just add water
@Anonymous-mx9dh 5 жыл бұрын
Crank Lucas in the buildin’. What’s up crank. Love your videos
@SnackPatrol 5 жыл бұрын
Hannibal Buress is a severely underrated stand-up comic.
@madebychikar7651 3 жыл бұрын
This video has 4 million views. Please stfu
@havensmith6371 3 жыл бұрын
@@madebychikar7651 how many did it have a year ago when this was posted? Coulda been less than 4 million. Naw YOU STFU!
@yoshipower457 3 жыл бұрын
@@havensmith6371 lol what? "It had 3 million last year he's still underrated!!"
@havensmith6371 3 жыл бұрын
@@yoshipower457 my post was sarcastically in agreement with the OP dumbass.
@madebychikar7651 3 жыл бұрын
@@havensmith6371 stfu so you think it had less than a million last year??
@Chxnces11 Жыл бұрын
The delivery on that "I'm a dumb guy, my world view is limited" was great. Love Hannibal 😄
@ErinJeanette 2 жыл бұрын
I love Hannibal so much. I feel like this audience didn't appreciate him enough he's so funny
@kirbyfukr2946 Жыл бұрын
They were laughing after every sentence even if it wasn’t a joke wdym. People who go to comedy shows laugh like it’s a competition
@ErinJeanette Жыл бұрын
@@kirbyfukr2946 I don't know, I didn't like this audience or maybe it was the audio.
@legit123456 5 жыл бұрын
Damn, what a rough way to find out I'm not cool.
@RuaTheRapoet 5 жыл бұрын
legit123456 Username checks out
@SJNaka101 5 жыл бұрын
@@RuaTheRapoet I came here to say this
@tnixx10 5 жыл бұрын
@@RuaTheRapoet hahahaha wrecked.
@Adamdidit 5 жыл бұрын
His writing structure is tremendous. Every story has a start, middle, and punchline and then multiple smaller jokes in the meantime, including asides, observations, and random comments.
@DiorrYuh 4 жыл бұрын
Bruh he’s never gonna be allowed to go into an airport after this lmao
@chedda1816 4 жыл бұрын
“We weren’t together like that, but if we were mind ya own business”
@mikey7257 5 жыл бұрын
W H A T I S T H I S ? P O W D E R E D W A T E R ?
@brock-182 5 жыл бұрын
Mikey nah, it’s cocaine
@mikes.6251 5 жыл бұрын
you just mad cause i got friends that will let me hold bombs
@nickflionis6341 5 жыл бұрын
powdered water is a Steven Wright bit, i appreciate the way he referenced it.
@MrJuzzi3 5 жыл бұрын
L!
@cshepard4723 5 жыл бұрын
Why you tryna act like you was drinkin' powdered' water 'fore you came out here?
@KesorodaBlk 4 жыл бұрын
Me: **puts on safety glasses, leans back in chair, squints eyes** "Wack."
@onkelpappkov2666 4 жыл бұрын
I read that as a duck noise and I find it adorable.
@caiorezei 3 жыл бұрын
But what do you think about his stance?
@no_peace 4 жыл бұрын
The best thing about having catastrophic memory loss is being able to watch this every 6 months and feel like it's the first time every time
@bravetherainbow 2 жыл бұрын
How do you knoe you watch this every 6 months
@function0077 4 жыл бұрын
I lived in Chicago for several years. One sunny Saturday, I jaywalked across State St. near Macy's behind two jaywalking police women. That made me feel connected to the City of Chicago.
@katieinprogress5940 2 жыл бұрын
I'm from Chicago. I really didn't know other places really cared about Jaywalking.
@nathanhancock671 2 жыл бұрын
I once watched a man jaywalk across the intersection of State and Congress without breaking stride. He actively lives like he is in a game of Frogger.
@bleepbloop9123 2 жыл бұрын
@@katieinprogress5940 yeah me too!!!
@elijahh2220 5 жыл бұрын
"ass*beep*" ...Thank gosh we didn't have to hear the word hole, amirite?
@DMoneyTaz15 4 жыл бұрын
Maybe he said asshat We'll never know lol
@ICGodInU 4 жыл бұрын
@@DMoneyTaz15 😆
@MichaelBrown-bl2ff 3 жыл бұрын
Right, why is the word "hole" bleeped out and not "ass?"
@CrankLucas 5 жыл бұрын
sippable bomb water
@Bignstuf 5 жыл бұрын
Fancy seeing you here....Crank Lucas! I love you Crank Lucas!
@rickydeangarrison4804 5 жыл бұрын
Who tf is crank Lucas
@thezebraking101 5 жыл бұрын
O shit crank Lucas is in here!!
@thezebraking101 5 жыл бұрын
@@rickydeangarrison4804 400,000 subs nigga
@rickydeangarrison4804 5 жыл бұрын
Alan Johnson ok, that’s cool
@mashedpotatos3750 3 жыл бұрын
As a frenchman I can say that his french was Spot. On.
@HokiePitcher22 2 жыл бұрын
"What is this....powdered water?" That line is so dumb but hilarious 🤣🤣
@Iyana 5 жыл бұрын
He always looks like he's staring into the light or something lmao
@cinnamon.9883 5 жыл бұрын
I y a n a HAHAHAHA
@jordandavis3867 4 жыл бұрын
Lmboooo
@xvx_k1r1t0_xvx_killme5 4 жыл бұрын
i hate to be that guy, but he’s on stage. so he is lol
@Archonus 4 жыл бұрын
That's cause the future so bright 😎
@Yukatoshi 4 жыл бұрын
Has his head at that weird angle!
@teej6123 5 жыл бұрын
"What is this powdered water?"
@zellerized 4 жыл бұрын
Shout out to Steven Wright
@frank4284 4 жыл бұрын
I'm glad I stumbled on this. He's funny as hell
@conservat1vepatr1ot 2 жыл бұрын
“There’s no such thing as bomb water!” *Astrolite G’s face fell. Those words that everyone else laughed at, proved that he had a damn good reason to feel invisible in this life..*
@Shinobi33 5 жыл бұрын
When I was 10 yrs old I got hit by a car crossing the street in front of my house in a residential neighborhood. Broke my femur. Spent two months in the hospital. Months rehabbing. I had to learn how to basically walk all over again. Then as soon as I can stand and move in crutches a bit I was motioned to appear in court with my parents for freaking jaywalking! The judge was shocked. At least she dismissed the ticket.
@br0k3nsharpener2 3 жыл бұрын
ayy broken femur brothers!!!
@natplant 3 жыл бұрын
@Char Char Binks you’re right, but age does determine criminality. most 10 year olds don’t fit the age of criminal responsibility in most U.S. states. fining an injured 10-year-old child for just an infraction seems a bit overkill.
@matthewbryant2972 5 жыл бұрын
first time I was in france, I was 4 and I asked, in the Airport in Paris, "when are people going to stop talking like that?"
@fosty. 4 жыл бұрын
I asked myself that when I was 26
@lostandwastedtime 4 жыл бұрын
Cool story, bro
@ManiacX1999 4 жыл бұрын
French is a dying language
@VTREXify 4 жыл бұрын
@@ManiacX1999 You're kidding, right?
@jameslegrand848 3 жыл бұрын
I ask myself that everyday .... And I'm French 🙃.
@allycat2450 4 жыл бұрын
"I'm going to New York to talk about you in front of strangers so I guess both huh?" 😂😂😂
@kordelljones7942 2 жыл бұрын
I love this guy!!!!
@morganellis2010 5 жыл бұрын
"now you've got security trying to negotiate your Snickers situation" XD How did I sleep on how good Hannibal Buress is until now??
@Dradeeus 4 жыл бұрын
"I was walking with an old lady, we were jaywalking together. We weren't together like that, but even if we were, MIND YOUR BUSINESS. I JUST MET Y'ALL. D:
@Josh_ua 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for repeating what everyone already heard.
@I.OWN.NOTHING 4 жыл бұрын
ReveN ur a buzzkill I bet you have loads of friends 😂😂
@MKUktraVictim 4 жыл бұрын
@@I.OWN.NOTHING hes not wrong lmao
@endthefed5304 3 жыл бұрын
i got arrested for jaywalking at the austin airport in '98. I told the cop, "it's a free country" and he proceeded to cuff me. Long story short, i got it adjudicated. but man, that cop was pretty aggressive. imagine that.
@SL92018 2 жыл бұрын
That seemed like an excessive use of force. I would have sued.
@brunomillalaf8553 4 жыл бұрын
Cop and half per leg 😂😂😂. That tag was so under appreciated.
@ryanperry2648 5 жыл бұрын
Disclaimer: if you ever hear someone say, "Yeah I'm a cool guy, just doing cool stuff, tryna be cool." He/she is not cool
@fduranthesee 4 жыл бұрын
*they
@sicilianjiu-jitsu2984 4 жыл бұрын
@@fduranthesee No.
@samanthalong4801 4 жыл бұрын
PrimalTheEmperor (primal9000) “They is not cool” is incorrect grammar
@josephwhite7960 4 жыл бұрын
I say this all the time
@captainnwalps6689 4 жыл бұрын
hockle they are not cool
@JaneDoe-er2sg 5 жыл бұрын
Hannibal has the energy of a sleepy child trying to explain something to their patient but confused parent.
@rocco_siffredi. 5 жыл бұрын
hah, true
@alexia3552 2 жыл бұрын
"That's a cop and a half per leg" 🤣
@luvaznsandrice Жыл бұрын
The Jaywalking session is probably Hannibal’s best stand up session. The timing, the humor, the reality of petty dumb rules, it’s all perfect.
@saintsrefuge 5 жыл бұрын
the way he said "is there a car coming? no? lemme get across there" 😂
@RJMacReady1 4 жыл бұрын
"This guy's doing something illegal OR people love buying Subarus from him" I would personally LOVE to purchase a working-condition Subaru from Hannibal Buress.
@emilyj0405 4 жыл бұрын
Useless Information I 100% bought at Toyota from a coke dealer so tbh it’s fair
@froglifes6829 4 жыл бұрын
I would personally love to buy some weed or lsd from Hannibal
@MichaelTI90 2 жыл бұрын
"you wanna hold a bomb real quick?" lolol
@TheMilwaukeeProtocol 3 жыл бұрын
"I only give people my ID for real stuff" 😂
@NoR3m0rs3 5 жыл бұрын
jaywalking was only made a crime to protect ford motors
@gothnaps 5 жыл бұрын
@@ivanebijay2401 www.vox.com/2015/1/15/7551873/jaywalking-history
@ipulledthepinnowwhat6334 5 жыл бұрын
@Jeremy Morris Jaywalking is used as an excuse to detain people.
@Enrique-peralta 5 жыл бұрын
@Jeremy Morris exactly busy road way= ticket like it should.
@RuaTheRapoet 5 жыл бұрын
En P En P It’s interesting seeing here people from places it’s enforced and not enforced. Like, to Jeremy Morris (not to pick you out), it’s a law. To New Yorkers like me and Hannibal Buress, it is not a law. Plus, this has nothing to do with busy thoroughfares vs. quiet suburbs, because where’s busier than NY? On another note, I’m not seeing these massive increases in traffic fatalities in the Third World (i.e. where Jeremy claimed the death by car rates are like 8 times higher) from this map. A little higher, sure, but not much higher. And that jives with my recent experience living in India for a month too. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_traffic-related_death_rate
@dakarbrown5474 5 жыл бұрын
You learn something everyday reading is fundamental
@SnaDyl 5 жыл бұрын
Hannibal has one of my favorite deliveries of all comedians
@everyvillainislemons7583 3 жыл бұрын
No matter how many times I watch the same Hannibal bits, I laugh just as hard every time.
@erickthelakersraidersfan2652 2 жыл бұрын
Damn im cracking up " what if its sipable bomb water?? " hahaha
@k.t7527 5 жыл бұрын
3 Cops working a High-Profile Jaywalking case 😂😂😂😂😂
@gorillatrading5452 3 жыл бұрын
Bruh!!! Hilarious.
@CTruitt 5 жыл бұрын
“Everybody getting fake shot” So dead Lmfaoooooo
@Ixxlostinabox Жыл бұрын
I feel like Hannibal just started thinking out loud one day and people started laughing so he just kept going
@armandsant1143 Жыл бұрын
Hannibal just my favorite 👏🏼
@coreymineard 5 жыл бұрын
Blah blah blah blah FRENCH
@jqyhlmnp 5 жыл бұрын
Corey Mineard ?
@coreymineard 5 жыл бұрын
darktennisball Did you watch the video? Lmao
@DustyyBoi 5 жыл бұрын
@@coreymineardSame
@jakethesnake95 5 жыл бұрын
That sent me
@finerz321 4 жыл бұрын
Corey Mineard glad we watched the same video, I was getting worried.
@efranle 5 жыл бұрын
Montreal cops have to meet those quotas somehow.
@ristonalaimo5048 5 жыл бұрын
naw they would never do _that_ oerigjold;xigbd;zrigj
@efranle 5 жыл бұрын
you're a creep. but anyways it was like 50k so i didn't cop.
@zyncra3965 5 жыл бұрын
Cops don't have quotas
@kashrager3888 5 жыл бұрын
Zyncra yeah they do they have “productivity goals”
@aidanscovers 5 жыл бұрын
If they don’t generate enough revenue for the city or state they get budget cuts. So they may not have “quotas” they definitely have a target so they don’t get fucked with.
@Tuber0722 2 жыл бұрын
His cadence is golden
@yeahbutlisten 2 жыл бұрын
this is a legit classic bit.
@tunuitahitianfire9875 5 жыл бұрын
Hannibal has come a long way with his standup career, but I also wonder about Eric Andre n what he’s up to, I would like to see him again
@PastaImposter 5 жыл бұрын
Look up mostly for millenials
@leod5907 5 жыл бұрын
This bit is actually from before the eric andre show. He's been a good comedian, not a lot of people have heard of him tho.
@loodbak3733 5 жыл бұрын
He just featured in disinchantment a futurama style midevil cartoon on Netflix. He's also coming out with another show soon himself
@christophergongora7885 5 жыл бұрын
His netflix special was weak i like him better with less yelling and over cocky behaviour
@Scoobay 5 жыл бұрын
Leaving Blank disagree.
@nullnvoid3559 5 жыл бұрын
Idk ever had thc infused water? That’s some bomb water right there.
@davemarx7856 5 жыл бұрын
😷
@AwkmenRah 5 жыл бұрын
Wtf did you say
@TheUltimateRage 5 жыл бұрын
More like BONG water (^_^)
@StephonST 5 жыл бұрын
Lolll stupid!
@magnummax78 5 жыл бұрын
Ghetto clever.
@quinnciccoretti8610 2 жыл бұрын
I watch this every week pretty much. One of the best 8 minute clips ever
@wendy3437 Жыл бұрын
I have never seen him before but he is awesome!!!
@KingBat-vs7qw 5 жыл бұрын
Hannibal is a frickin genius I died at "bomb water" 🤣😂🤣😂💣💧
@azeliaspank 5 жыл бұрын
I could listen to him speak forever
@iDropPhats 4 жыл бұрын
“Sippable bomb water” LMFAO
@alexstorr5511 3 жыл бұрын
Only just discovered this guy, loving his stand up shows
@oluwashinormustapha2823 5 жыл бұрын
"Bomb water" lol
@carsonwentz8301 5 жыл бұрын
What if it's sippable bomb water? lmao
@VMohdude- 5 жыл бұрын
Carson Wentz “that’s what I’m saying. There’s no such thing as bomb water, you’re being silly right now man!”
@brendanpeahl7055 5 жыл бұрын
I feel like Hannibal is who Aziz Ansari wants or tries to be.
@rahulg2961 5 жыл бұрын
Hey I like Aziz
@DeadpoolX9 5 жыл бұрын
Nah I think Aziz is tryna be one of them black drag queens types. He's way too energetic to replicate hannibal's relaxed style
@ookie4179 5 жыл бұрын
Aziz was funny in food club, but that's about it.
@brendanpeahl7055 5 жыл бұрын
rahul g me too lol
@mj23allday247 5 жыл бұрын
I feel like Aziz is about as funny as toilet paper
@cshion Жыл бұрын
A gem piece forever
@cristianm.5689 2 жыл бұрын
THESE ADS ARE UNBELIEVABLE
@moonbeam4016 5 жыл бұрын
“You know what I never had a bomb before 🤔” me right before holding my first bomb
@H_TRAIN 5 жыл бұрын
Nabi Sonyeo 😂😂😂
@doomislav5791 5 жыл бұрын
YEA MAN lemme hold that bomb!
@rafthethinker4948 5 жыл бұрын
You gotta open up your social circle
@shmokin702 5 жыл бұрын
Hannibal Buress is so underrated, definitely one of the best comedians out right now
@askthepizzaguy Жыл бұрын
French is such a beautiful language. I just replay the opening to this video over and over. If only I could get someone shouting angry German at me at the same time as Hannibal pretends to be French, that would just be music to my ears.
@aluisious 2 жыл бұрын
I've been detained by the cops once for jaywalking. Here's how you know it's bullshit: I was moving my car that was parked across the street from the tallest residential tower in the city at night. I went out in a hoodie and I hadn't shaved for a while so my beard was getting a little backcountry. Run across a street no one is on, cop car sees me a block down and drives over, lights flashing. They want an excuse to check out the scumbag in the hoodie. But then they see I'm white, and they ask what I'm doing and I say moving my car back to the garage and point at the tower, and they say "you live there?" and confer for a second back at their car while another cop shows up and asks me "what's up tonight bud?" and I say "y'know, a little jaywalking." Then they come back and say "cross at the light next time" and take off. You think that was happening if I was black, or Latino, or didn't live in the big fancy building?
@xblowsmokex Жыл бұрын
Yes, I do think
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