The whole “finding your own signature style” thing is great and I love seeing people who have a consistent vibe. At the same time, as a 55 year old woman who I’m pretty sure has my own style (🤞) I still love to PLAY with my clothes and with new looks and interesting pieces that come from left field. All of fashion is a trend. Even the most classic white button up changes through time. The size of the collar changes, the width of the cuff the shape of the shoulders and I love how the elements of style shift from year to year. I don’t ever want to stop playing with my personal style. Getting dressed is my favorite form of entertainment ❤

This is a hot topic and I wish this conversation was a bit longer. I come from an African country and because of my work I travel a lot all over the western world and, I must say, we all look the same, except for some more edgy subcultures. I was in Sarajevo some years ago and I saw all the 20 year old girls wearing the same outfits, like an Instagram feed. But it's not only Instagram: it is fast fashion and the same fast fashion brands are almost everywhere. And honestly, it is a shame in my perspective. I feel like it takes courage to get out of this heavy pattern and there is a lot of pressure over women to "look current". Plus, we all notice how young women are starting too look similar too, with the broad use of face fillers. Women should do whatever they want with their bodies? Hell yes. But also, I wish we could love our own personal style, features and bodies a little bit more.

I don’t have Instagram or TikTok and I plan on keeping it that way. 🙌🏽

I just keep remembering Miranda Priestly saying "...it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you’re wearing a sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room… from a pile of “stuff.” We cannot be truly un-influenced and unique in a world where the choices we have at our diaposal are in someone else's hand to be made available and acceptable in the first place. And is that bad? Isn't the desire to be truly unique also an expression of insecurity, of placing too much self-worth in a single venue of self-expression? We are so much more than our personal style.

I liked how Alyssa pointed out that you can't find your style if you haven't been through the trial and error period. Absolutely! I have also tried a lot of styles, textures, colors to find out that I really do feel and look good in neutrals. Thank you also for pointing out that we should be finding our style to feel certain way not to look certain way. That was a really good point by Alyssa as well.

I work as a therapist, and a lot of clients often come in saying their own version of, "I want to look good, I want to look modern," whatever that may be, rather than speaking to their goals in a deeper way. One way that I find often helps them (and myself) get to the deepest truest part of what they are yearning for is to ask, "what are you hoping or expecting to FEEL, when you look good, look modern" or whatever it is. And that answer is usually quite telling. You may get, "I want to feel important, beautiful, confident, at peace, I want to feel like I've made it, comfortable with myself, interesting"... etc. I find that this gives you a lot more to work with. What is the person attaching to "looking 'good' and 'current.'

Reflecting on the part about adapting what we choose to wear to our lifestyle: I am not a tall 30-something striding across the streets of New York City. I may admire the look and even the feel of photos showing these images. But I am a petite, 71-year-old writer who works at home alone with my cat in my lap and my dogs at my feet, in a tiny rural town. When I am choosing what to wear or what to purchase, I have to ask myself "Where are you going in that outfit?"

To me, trends now are very different from the trends of decades past. We think of the 50s, 60s, 90s etc. and each entire decade is recognizable by a few core trends. However now, trends don't feel like they sum up a decade anymore like they did in the past in the same meaningful way. Trends in the past felt more authentic and less manufactured. I do think because of Instagram, TikTok etc. as well as fast fashion/consumerism, trends move faster than they were ever supposed to, and I think this artificial speed at which everything is going is what is helping to degrade personal style.

Translating clothes to your own situation is key. How will that dress perform with your cat sitting on it 🧐

One more comment. Wide leg jeans have been in style for a long time. I’m a child of the ‘70’s I wore them then and wear them now. They feel like me and work with my body type. I don't care if something is a trend or not if I like it and it suits me I wear it.

I think Instagram has made the process go backwards. Nowadays it’s “I don’t know myself (my likes, dislikes, personality, pieces I gravitate towards completely apart from knowing what’s in it out, etc.), so I’m going to go online to find it from others/be told what it is.” Versus the style icons of yesteryear knew themselves and developed their own look from there. And stuck with it as well. They were required to be independently creative. Obviously we change throughout our lives, but I think there is this dangerous and confusing narrative that, “If I am changing, my style must as well.” Or “I’m entering a new era/aesthetic.” No. I can only speak for myself, but I am not at all the person I was 10 years ago on the inside, but my style is largely unchanged. And that’s great! Every so often I dabble in a new piece or cut or colour, but it’s on my timing/leisure and not because I feel I should, or something is trending, or the dominant images/marketing command me. I think another important point that cannot be understated is tribalism/belonging. We wrongly confuse a desire for the item with what we think the item will bring us. Sometimes carefully crafted by the messenger behind the post, but something a projection of our own creation. I don’t want the coat, per se. I want the style. The belonging. The casual coffee on the street in Paris. The amazing hair. The body. The vibe. It’s not ACTUALLY about the clothes. We want to be THAT girl. And if not her, then part of her tribe/group/clique by emulating her in the easiest way possible: dressing exactly like her. And finally, it’s the old truth of “we become what we consume.” The less time we spend in our closets and the more we spend on social media, the more our brains get wired towards group think. Why do beauty standards shift as a collective? Like everyone having a Barbie nose. How do we find ourselves desiring a piece of clothing we never would have wanted otherwise but find ourselves adding it to our closets? If we see/ingest/consume something long enough, we start to become it. Every relationship is evangelical in nature, but the questions is who is changing whom?

Yes to dogs and cats rather than fashion items. I also have beaches, sunsets and other natural images which give me colour inspiration for my outfits.

Congratulations, Signe! 💕

A trend is so much more than we give it credit for. It's not only som fashion people deciding what we will wear in the nearest future, what they do is an interpretation on something happening organically. And if they fail, they will not sell and therefor not make money. A trend can be our reaction to what is happening in the world, how people feel about the current trends or what we are willing to compromise on. Extreme example is covid. Look at what we wore before, during and after.

There are certain outfits that just feel like me and then I repeat them! A lot

The best way to buy trends is to buy items that you would wear anyway but it suddenly becomes trendy. Like, I love ballet flats and they were out for a while giving the way to loafers and sneakers and then they got back and I got them immediately cause I wore them a lot regardless of trends. Loafers not so much for me, so I only got one pair a while ago from Everlane, tried it, didn’t like and didn’t buy any more pairs of furry/chunky/etc. versions. Same goes with Barbie pink last year and yellow this year. I love yellow but yellow clothes tend to be less stylish cause the color is not popular. But this year cool yellow things are popping up and I love them.

Very interesting topic. I think the ‘knowing yourself’ thing is relevant, because that makes you skip trends or pick up trends when they come by. Knowing what I like and dislike, makes it so much easier to define which trends are ‘for me’ and which aren’t. I can pick up on a trend and still feel like ME completely. I also remember going shopping with my mom and I put on a nice light blue leather jacket. It was in the final sale and my mom asked: “Is that actually on trend right now? Hmmm I don’t think so, so you shouldn’t buy it.” My answer was: “Who cares whether it’s on trend if it makes ME feel good and authentic?” Alyssa asked the right question I think. It’s al about: how do you feel in it? How do you want to feel?

I think the concept of everyone looking the same has been taken to a whole new level with social media. Not only is everyone being pressured to buy the "in" clothes but they're being pressured to surgically change their appearance to fit impossible beauty standards. Finding beauty in our individuality can be difficult, but so can finding acceptance in our sameness (I think that's a word?). There isn't one right way to be or to dress and conversations like these normalize that.

What's been helping me a lot both with avoiding shopping and trends is actually the indyx app. I've uploaded most of my current wardrobe and it is so inspiring and motivating to be able to digitally style my outfits. It makes me feel like I have so much wonderful clothes available at my fingertips...and it's FUN. love it! Highly recommend. Feel - feeling good is also about if your clothes are actually fitting correctly and are flattering (coming back to knowing what colours and shapes work on your body) and also being confident in yourself - it goes hand in hand. For example I always feel odd if I am dressed too classic as this leads me to feel conservative and that I am not expressing myself.

I agree, we do have to experiment and make mistakes before we can embrace our own style. This is especially true when there are so many style "rules" thrown at us that really don't serve every single silhouette, type of colouring, age range etc. I am never going to look good in beige, camel, a "crisp white button down," so where do I go from "rules" that don't work for me? As for "how does it make me feel?" This question might just explain why there are a few pieces that look good, but evoke something that makes me reach for something else most mornings....Hmmmmm.

Fascinating discussion! You addressed a question of mine... when does a fad become a long-term trend and how many years can we expect a garment to stay current looking? The motivation to buy something new each season seems to be rooted in wanting to stay modern and not look outdated and old. Also every piece we buy is a risk because we can think in the moment that it's checking all the boxes and find out later after a few wears that it has a fatal flaw. For instance I bought a top that fit me perfectly in one of my perfect colors. The material felt silky and breathable although it was synthetic. After only 2 wears I realized it was a no because it trapped the sweat terribly. I couldn't tell that when I tried it on in store. Having grace on ourselves and realizing that we're always gonna make mistakes and that's part of living and learning is extremely helpful. It's one of the many reasons I always thrift shop first. That way I'm not losing a lot of money if something doesn't work so it reduces the potential for guilt.

I'm not on Instagram, I tried it briefly and it made me feel so out of step with my fashion choices as I have no desire to own specific 'it pieces'. I dress to suit myself and my needs for the day, as Signe stated. I do look at Pintrest, but there are so many older pics mixed with new that basically you can wear whatever you want vibe comes through, and I really like that. I thought this was a really interesting discussion. I felt Christina was so quiet throughout though. Maybe this subject resonated more with Alyssa and Signe. Love you all here and individually too ❤

I loved what you said Alyssa about how we want our personal style to set us apart as individuals but we can also use style as a way to feel like we belong. I've never thought of it that way before! So true!

Great podcast! ❤❤❤ Style is not a trend. It is wearing what makes you feel good. At my age, I feel that I have found my style and wear it with confidence . It is opposite to you because I love colour. My fav outfit formula is head to toe of the same colour /tone so monochromatic is one of my signature looks. I had two colleagues tell me last week that they loved my style! So funny because I thought it was kind of boring 😊. I do look at trends but like Alyssa suggests, I adapt it to my wardrobe and my style and leave out what doesn’t work for me. Thanks for another very interesting conversation!

I don't like trends in general, but if a classic piece is having a moment, that is fantastic!!

I love this digging deep into the complex questions that underpin so much of what we call style. And the notion of, before you LOOK, how do you feel in the clothes? Not just physical comfort, or natural fibre preference, but in terms of how we wear ourselves inside our style. I loved that notion, Alyssa, thank you, and it brought up an even earlier question for me; if I want to look good/current, do I want to actually wear the looks, with all the constraints and ethical factors, that often go into that? Does looking a certain way override feeling, whether that be comfy, relaxed that your ‘fit isn’t harming earth and her beings, etc. so many ‘fits look divine, but feel off, and that shows up in your wearing of the look because your carriage and affect, your vibe, impact the look! This was such a rich, riveting discussion between three real leaders in our field. Thank y’all!!!!!

Thank you for this thought -provoking discussion! As a retired professional, transitioning from a lifetime of “business casual” to “what the heck is appropriate, comfortable and feels like ME” in my now life has been a real challenge! I love fashion and style but am trying to develop an organized wardrobe that looks reasonably current, classic and respects sustainable values. I have followed all three of you for several years and really appreciate all your guidance! The basic principles don’t change as we enter different life stages.

I enjoyed the conversation. For me, I enjoying learning from instagram, mostly You Tube, how to style the cloths I like, not necessarily what is trendy, mostly I shop my closet. However, I like to know what is trending so I can mix in what I like/have that is trending. For example, I have scarves that I am currently tying on to my purses, bangles and cuffs seems to be trending so I am bringing mine back out, that kind of thing…..I am cuffing my jeans for summer….so, I guess I want a little of both. I want to wear what I like, but add something, a scarf, a jewelry cuff, a new pair of shoes. In my mind, I “feel” (to use Alyssa’s word) like I am being true to myself in what I like, by either styling my cloths in a current way or bringing in a trending item so that I look like a “current” me rather then a old me. I am 63. I can mix old with something current or style something old in a new way because I watch you gals. Thank you.

I get gardening feeds🌸

I'm on a personal discovery journey trying to figure out who i am and how i want to present myself in the day to day. It's so hard right now as any looking and searching is not inspirational as it's all the same and its not hitting the nail on the head. Then when i do find something that i want to try, it's definitely a trend since its highly available! Argh. I need a mast look book cataloging all types of realistic (not over stylized and glorified) style types, silhouette types, etc. I'm slowly pinning things that almost hit the mark so i can see developing patterns. So far, flowy bottoms are of clear interest to me and missing from my small wardrobe. But then the next step is wading through a sea of choices only to find the first 4 i try suck and don't fit well or have some other limiting factor. They all get returned and then I'm back to square one empty handed and defeated. Lol. Rant. Sorry. This one really resonated with me. Thanks for sharing!

Recently I find myself deliberately veering away from trends because of oversaturation. I was looking for a couple of pairs of white leather sneakers (chunky & more slimline) for summer but I deliberately chose not to get the Adidas Sambas or Nike Air Force 1s. I was sick of seeing the same styles everywhere I looked. Instead I opted for a nice Puma pair & a Superga pair that gave similar vibes but felt more personal to my tastes. This is a great topic for discussion.

Great podcast. I find it helpful to find people whose styles I admire and who are outside of what the algorithm is serving. For example, older people, people with different body types besides the tall and skinny, who clearly have a style that is separate from trends or who play/experiment with their outfits, people who dress for fun and not just for what "looks good" (Trinny Woodwall, Iris Apfel, etc.). I also like to get inspiration from artists and people who mend or alter their clothes. As someone else suggested, Daria Andronescu would be a great guest.

Always enjoy listening to you❤

I grew up in the 70s in Italy and I definitely remember trends, like bell-sleeve knits, gingham and striped shirts, straight-leg and flared jeans, also making jeans into denim skirts, white jeans worn with a blue t-shirt and sunglasses like Jackie O, corduroys, Fiorucci, Jeans West jeans, Lacoste sportswear, double denim, coloured denim (aqua green, pink and other summer colours), denim trucker jackets, small Cacharel flowery prints, culottes, ballerina shoes, capes for winter. We didn't have social media but we did have celebrity magazines and actresses, singers and royal princesses were always an inspiration and always well dressed, e.g. Iranian Empress Farah Diba, princess Caroline of Monaco, Jackie O. Models like Twiggy and Iman, together with Audrey Hepburn made their superslim bodies something to aspire to and probably caused a lot of eating disorders along the way. Nobody was overweight in those days. The current fashion for athleisure, oversize clothes, wide-leg jeans/pants certainly appeals to overweight people who wrongly think these pieces will disguise excess weight, instead it often has the opposite effect - I can't wait for these trends to fade. I only adopt a trend if I already like it and I know it will last.

In my case, when it comes to buying (or not) into a trend, I make that decision keeping "my words", the words I've chosen to describe my personal style, in mind. So, in a way, I use trends as a tool that allowes me to have easier access to those pieces that fit or complement my style and bring more options/variety into my closet.

There is a famous designer that said there is power in repetition. Iconic status is achieved when someone can easily identify a look/item/style because it has been repeated over and over.

Let’s face it leg of mutton sleeves were a thing a couple of hundred years ago and sleeves currently are having a puffy moment but those 18 century sleeves are not a thing. Fashion does change people have a look and some people like to dress in a way corresponding to a particular decade or period and they can be identified by that period. Trends are like signposts you can go down a rabbit hole or not I think the problem is that are you defined by trends or do you have a style. I purposely avoid big T trends so that I can wear something for a few years without it being too dated to one period. Can you buy a piece and be confident to wear it for the following year or 2 even if it is not a big T trend in 25 or 26. I have a pair of sandals bought in France 9 years ago and still love wearing them however I don’t wear them a lot but each summer they will make an appearance. I have a number of clothes like that but also have a bunch of stuff that I get each season. I like the idea that mistakes are necessary in finding your groove. After a few years of experimenting and transitioning to semi retirement I now feel my wardrobe can sustain fewer new items each season as I have a pretty good handle on what I like to wear.

With algorithms pushing the posts and outfits that receive most attention, I think it quickly morphs into a format where there is less diversity (Pinterest comes to mind too). And aside from other reasons why trends take storm, that affects people’s style, if they’re not as attuned to other inspirations. I think for exploring and developing your own sense of style, you do need to have other sources of inspiration and also be mindful of your own preferences. An algorithm is too simplistic as it is designed to generate more responses, but that’s why people follow people instead who can share their different inspirations or create interesting looks themselves.

That was a very interesting question from Christina: When is it actually ok to buy a trend? I had this question in mind too 🙌🏻 And then I understood that from a sustainable point of view it is ok to buy a trend if you plan to wear it even if it is not trendy anymore 🙂 I very seldomly participate in trends but if I really like something and I am ready to wear it after the trend passes and I am ready to care for the item, I will get it 🙌🏻 What helps me not to overbuy usually is a quantity limit, because the same as Christina I have limited storage 🙃

Love this, I have insta and Pinterest and Pinterest gives me a lot of the same but as these are things I've searched for as outfit ideas for things already in my wardrobe I don't mind. (I also have Lego creations, gardening and holiday ideas etc lol). I love to mix up what's in my wardrobe but I find I do this less and gravitate to the same until I do a shop your closet session then my creative side pops back out which I love otherwise I feel I could be drawn into the uniform of 90% Jeans, Jumper/blazer, Shirts/Tee trainers/boots and 10% dresses. This whole is it practical is what I incorporated into my 3 words (Efficient) however I'm changing this. I can ask myself is it efficient but it doesn't have to look efficient that's not my look that's what I ask myself when I buy. I need to keep doing that otherwise I idealize it and think of the item in a made up unrealistic situation. Another fab through provoking episode.

Hi ladies! Great topic Whenever I decide to incorporate any items that I really need, I look at so many other factors. I take into consideration whether it's an item I can care for easily. I sometimes don't want to invest the time and effort on an item that is high maintenance..imp ❤❤❤

I love the question of how do you want to feel. And I have one back. How do you find clothes that work for you when how you want to feel doesn't always align with the style you like? For example. I love button ups, and a silk button up top is definitely something I love the look of on me and have definitely pinned them in Pinterest more than once. But in reality I have to walk to my train station to get to work. It's 20 minutes and includes a hill. By the time I get on my train, the silk top has visible sweat marks and is also super creased cause I wear a backpack to save myself shoulder pain from carrying a laptop to work. This is an extreme example but I have noticed that even though I love a more put together classy style on me, as soon as it's mildly inconvenient it becomes an item to avoid. I'd like to wear these items that make me feel great when trying but man, is my practical brain unhappy if something fits a bit too tight or gets supper wrinkly or I keep having to readjust a tuck on a shirt cause it gets messy.

While listening to this I was thinking about the strawberry and coffee makeup trends of last year. I thought it was a smidge silly and very in and out as far as I could tell but I loved it in a way because it was less product based. Also even though it seemed kind of in and out, if strawberry girl is your vibe maybe it helped people take inspiration.

I feel like some people’s personal style is “trendy” in general. They like following trends and it feels authentic on them.

Elements of style are pillars not walls! I love watching you all, but need to work with my body, life and budget!

I encourage you to study the wonderful book Bill Cunningham On the Street: Five Decades of Iconic Photography for an overview of style-fashion-trends through time. There were “influencers” for sure. Was it just slower? Would it have felt that way living it? It’s really interesting to look for answers in fantastic photos.

Okay..great topic 👌💚..you're right, worshipping at the alter of "the good old days" is not only a waste of energy but an incorrect assumption of nostalgia. However, I'm often amazed that discussions around waste seem to exclude the creation of the object and waste of resources, for something that is completely forgotten about within a shirt period. Yep, as to your point, for sure the style of shoe may have been around for an entire decade, but items were still personalised and altered for years and years, so a piece may not be in its original iteration..So many elements on this discussion..well done guy's 🎉❤

I always grew with the idea of Ik always supposed to be different

A few years ago, I traveled to the London office. As I waited for the lift on a Friday morning, I noticed I was surrounded by a few women and the eerie thing was we were all wearing blue skinny jeans, a white tee shirt, white sneakers and a black leather jacket. I suppose there is and always was, an epidemic of sameness. I wore those jeans and jacket, which weren't what I particularly liked, because I was in a phase of my life where I desperately wanted to fit in. I hated my entire closet at that time but it was something I had to go through to really work out so many things about myself both on the outside and the inside. I suppose if someone is fighting a lot of inner demons and has no time for curating personal style and "trends" provide them one less thing to worry about - it cant be all that bad?

I work with kids and each kid in my room has their own personal style they do not look the same atol they have a strong identity. Now I ask myself who dresses these kids their parents? Themselves? I think our parents knew us a lot more than we may think Bc tbh they’re our first influence so we kind of want to get away from that however there’s a link from what we wore when we were kids to what we deem to be personal style.

To the point of 'how do you feel in this outfit?' From a more somatic & communication perspective, I'd ask people to connect with their 6+ senses and provide adjectives--either how they want to feel, or how they currently feel in an outfit. Even if it requires some stretch and imagination. So 'how does that feel on your chest/tummy/legs/arms? Is it soft and easy, restrictive, structured, easy, etc? Where do you notice ease, where do you notice restriction or a sense of 'not me'? what are the textures and colours of what I'm wearing, what images or dreams do they evoke ? if I had to imagine a taste or a smell that describes my current or desired outfit, what is that? what is the sound of the fabric, on your body or brushing against other fabrics or objects? If you tune into your gut or your 3rd eye, what is the first descriptive word that comes to you? do you get a clear yes or clear no?

Please consider sharing your thoughts on the " luxury brands are buying our cities" memes.

Ou! First! 😂

what bothers me is the numbers of fashion youtubers fixating so much on the same styles!: classic, french, sometime scandi and all talking about the same 10 basic items to have in your wardrobe and how to look expensive!!! there are so many other styles: avant garde, edgy, exotic,artsy, eclectic etc... the algorithm is also based on these "influencers" so that what we constantly get and no other choices... and you are all on Instagram so should we unfollow you???

Funny, but my mom used to know something was "in" before we even had the Internet or social media. I would wonder how she would know this, being a stay-at-home mom and not really having that much exposure to street fashion, but it must have come from magazines and/or T.V.?

Seems like all the influencers are recommending the basic white tee, blazers, jeans, a good pair of trousers, and bottom down shirts.. with a pair of sambas.

WHO wants to look dated? That guy writing about the 70-ties is because it is back in fashion! Not because the pictures look dated!

The "Sad Beige Moms" trend dress themselves, children and homes in the trend. I see it mostly in the English girl's KZfaq video. It's so oversaturated that it looks like a uniform. Zero personality. But my thing is you do you.

“There’s a lot of hands happening” 😂 It’s the Italian in you, Alyssa. 🫶🏻☺️

Looked like my girl Christina wasnt having her day.. If so, just a little ❤ your way!🫶

I work with kids and each kid in my room has their own personal style they do not look the same atol they have a strong identity. Now I ask myself who dresses these kids their parents? Themselves? I think our parents knew us a lot more than we may think Bc tbh they’re our first influence so we kind of want to get away from that however there’s a link from what we wore when we were kids to what we deem to be personal style.