Cas I love the way you admit your weaknesses rather than acting like you have everything altogether that is so refreshing

Cass, One thing I’ve done recently is changed the dishwashing liquid to one with a different (nice) scent and tried a new wash cloth. It’s making it a novelty and changing it up. Had used the same sponges for 30+yrs as they’re the ones that the ex liked and I didn’t want to get told off for buying a useless sponge (for him). I feel like I’m reclaiming my kitchen.

I got an F in neatness in the second grade. The consequence of having a messy desk was bringing home everything in my desk. It started with taking everything home one day, grew to a week then a month. It got to the point that I kept everything stuffed in my book bag. For decades I believed I was a neatness failure. First Dana, then you and Dawn have helped me so much. Finally something made sense. I will probably never be an A in neatness kind of person, but I’m probably a solid C. I no longer feel overwhelmed.

My mother didn’t do any of the negative things like fussing at me or punishing me about being messy, thank goodness. I think the problem was that she was just naturally organized and things just seemed effortless for her. I on the other hand was scattered and everything seemed hard for me. I just couldn’t figure out how to do it like she did and always felt like a failure. Even though she was nothing but encouraging. I think that’s why I have always had a negative outlook on cleaning and organizing. Learning as an adult that I’m ADHD has helped me feel better about myself because I at least have sort of a Reason. You Cass, help me TREMENDOUSLY because you understand my crazy brain and give me tools to use to get myself together! I listen to you every single day and I am getting better. 🙂

I don't know if you read KZfaq comments but, this is just to say thank you. I am aware of these ideas but I have struggled on and off throughout my life. Your story today was encouraging. I am at my core very artistic, and very organized. Guess which one wins most of the time, it isn't organization. And, that always diminishes my ability to create. For myself it was my childhood memories of being a boy raised by a feminist leaning mom and a good father who worked very long hours. My mom was great too however, she raised five boys and she refused to do any housework. I lived in clutter and in chaos. Fleas, roaches, and stuff piled everywhere is where my brain wanders to as "normal" from these childhood experiences. Later I learned how to keep order when I was in the military. Even as a boy I loved mowing lawns and properly edging sidewalks and cleaning up all the clippings for a beautiful, orderly result. One of the things I have had to learn is, how to clean on a regular basis? I never really saw it growing up, but it is natural for me to want to create orderly spaces. Taking small steps every day with a kitchen timer while remembering to not be bossed around by childhood memories was a good reminder. BTW, years ago I found a book called "The Clean Team". That was an important piece that perhaps you could also cover for those of us who have no idea how to clean (other than when in a crisis as when moving or when guests are coming over). Putting together a cleaning kit that makes sense is something that I continue to takes steps to figure out. For example an ostrich feather duster actually works really well for dusting. Who knew? Again, thank you.

I use the power ONLY! Reframe I HAVE to do one load of laundry a day to I ONLY have to do one load of laundry (today). Reframe I have to do the dishes to I ONLY have to do the dishes (in the sink not every dish I own). Reframe I have to do my taxes to I ONLY have to do my taxes (once a year). Reframe I have to put away every thing I use to I ONLY have to put away the thing (that’s in my hand right now). This is the best session you’ve done Cas, apart from the ADD ones.

I cleaned up after lunch while listening to your podcast! I'm with you. I now say, "I love a clean kitchen!!" vs "Ughhh. I hate cleaning the kitchen. I'll do it 'later'!" And "later used to be 3 or 5 days!!! 😱 So glad to have found Dana in 2017 and you and Dawn in 2021!!! Lol!! I hear Dana saying, "Just do the dishes" and Dawn, "5 minutes matters" and your tough love all the time! Thank you soooo much!!!

My mother was a serious hoarder and blamed us as kids for the mess in the house. I hate the clutter in my house but struggle to organize my house in a way that makes it function effectively. I have ADHD so your videos are really helping me find my way through the fog and I truly appreciate what you are doing.

Boy, this is such a help to me! Thank you very much. My grandma was a home ec major and you better believe she was quite intimidating to my mother … so much so that the latter never learned to cook or sew. Grandma even picked out and placed the furniture in our house. Mama had a cleaning lady. Whew. I was married for nearly 35 years and my husband enjoyed doing most of the housework - his mother had been a maid in England and she gave all her children good training. When he developed dementia and then passed in 2020, I had a whole lot of new-to-me skills to develop. I read lots of books, watched many videos and had several wonderful friends who helped me declutter and clean. I’ll admit it: I disliked housekeeping because 1) I felt I was utterly inept and 2) I was exhausting myself as a way to punish myself because my hubby died ‘way before his time. Over the past four years, I have become far more competent at various tasks and find ways to make them positive experiences. And my “mission statement” for several decades has been “I live my life as a work of art.” I have added this sentence: “I live my life in a way that would make my husband proud of me. Thank you for all the good you are doing for all of us.

Cas, Great podcast. I am retraining my dumb baby brain to not put it down, put it away. Great tips. 😊

My joy is hearing your podcasts and getting work done at the same time. I have a lot of 'shoulds' but I am going to do it all for future me, so the bathroom looks pretty, the dishwasher is almost on, and the towels will be washed overnight. Tomorrow will be wonderful ❤❤❤❤

Excellent mind conditioning. The best podcast about our psychology.

I love your podcast. I look forward to a new one every week. I love your show hot mess house. Wish there were more seasons. Thank you for being so honest and kind. You are a gift to those around you.

Amazing Cas! You’ve taken a seemingly confusing concept, broken it down into actionable steps to really make a big difference. Awareness, reframing and repetition! Thank you!

OMG Cass this is so spot on! Years ago I heard something similar around changing the term House Work to Home Caring. That when you are doing the dishes or hanging the washing to look at it as caring for those items rather than looking at it as a chore. Same thinking but different subject. 9 years ago we made the choice to homeschool our youngest two children. I was one of those parents that looked forward to them going to school everyday. Life was hard when they were home. I know I sound like a horrible parent. It was a tricky situation. I was worried how I was going to cope with them being home all the time. But my mind did change. It wasn't a purposeful change, it just happened. After a couple of weeks I realised that I wasn't dreading them being home. I was actually enjoying it.

would love for you to do a series on time management for those of us that need to "do it all" (with adhd) kids, cleaning, day job, side hustle. I haven't found how to use my adhd as a "superpower" yet. Here's hoping.

Cas, I love this so much. I love you and I'm so proud of you for figuring all of this out before you're 69 like me. I'm not going to feel guilty that it's taken me so long. I'm pressing forward and moving on, as of now.

I'm 3/4 of the way through the video but wanted to stop and comment on Cass's comment about reframing your thinking. I used to be a pack a day smoker. My life REVOLVED around smoking. I would purposely book flights in airports that had a smoking room (this was back in the day) so that my layover could include my smoking habit. When I decided to quit, I kept it to ONE day. I got through that first day, and I couldn't believe it. I was so proud of myself. Then I was excited to get one more day under my belt. By the time a week had gone by, there was no stopping me because I WAS ON A ROLL!! I quit smoking in 2005 and never went back. The point is, I reframed my thinking from something like 'omg this is going to be a huuuuge struggle!', to like, 'get one day under your belt... then try for one more day'. And then soon, the thought of keeping my "on a roll" growing was more important than dealing with the nicotine withdrawals. Reframing the thoughts.

Very helpful way of thinking.

Thank you! Instead of trying, and failing, to write a ‘grateful journal’ every night, I’m going to try ONLY writing three things “I” did well today,and be grateful for ME instead of others. 🥰🥰🥰. And I will ONLY do it for a week (and hope it turns into a habit). And ONLY put the journal away on the nightstand afterwards so I can find it tomorrow instead of putting it down on the bed and having it jab into my ribs in the night. 😍😍😍😍

I always find your podcasts encouraging. Thank you!

Cas, you are so good. I need to apply this thought process to exercising. I need to reframe “I hate exercising” to “I love feeling my body worked out”. I never thought this way. Will give it a try. Thank you.

Oh No, NO Santa!!!!! lol. Growing up, my two sisters and I had a Saturday 'Chore' list. It was up to us each week to decide/determine who would do what. Keeping our rooms tidy was a daily expectation. This process (we didn't understand at the time and as YES we did grumble) taught us such a great lesson that is so useful in our adult lives, to work together as a team and make good decisions based on our abilities. No phone calls, no going out or friends coming over until the list was complete. As we got older, we also had outdoor chores, mowing the lawn, raking leaves, taking out the garbage and shoveling the driveway.This gave us such a positive foundation that has served us all so well as we established our own homes & families. I raised my Son the same way as he now does with his three daughters. Another great Podcast. Always so informative.

I really appreciate you touching on the feeling of unfairness and being a woman feeling it. I like the mental exercise of reminding myself of all the positive things over just seeing the negative things.

Thank you Cas! Great pod cast!

There is a cute kids book called ‘Don’t let the pigeon drive the bus.’ Now I keep thinking don’t let the pigeons baby brain drive the bus! Love it. That will be my new mantra. Ps, I have a very strange sense of humour - I’m learning to let it drive the bus (or the vacuum). Thank you.

Class, can I just say " I love you" not in a weird way! 😀 Your are one of the best podcasters to listen to, genuinely. This is what I needed to hear. Might have to repeat this video a few times! Love from Ireland🇮🇪

This is amazing. It's so good I actually listened to it twice, notes taken the second time. Step 1 started. I really needed this today. Thank you for being the amazing Cass that you are ❤

When it comes to cleaning, I have to ask myself, "What can I do and how much can I do before I start hurting? How much pain can I put up with to get everything done that I want to get done?" So, yeah I feel lazy because I don't want to hurt or I have to measure how much pain I can deal with. And I feel guilty because my other half does so much more cleaning than I physically can do. I am grateful that he can mop and vacuum the house, as well as other heavy chores.

I had trauma neutralizing therapy to stop feeling anxious in the kitchen. My Mum made me and my younger sister wash up each night and my sister would get angry at me every time so I started having impending doom each night. This was exacerbated by my ex husband who would get his hackles up if I was in the kitchen and he wanted a drink of water. I’d get a grunt and be ignored for days on end. Now I make up parodies stacking the dishwasher, dance or unstack the dishwasher while the microwave is on and have a movie on while cooking. I sit on the bench top if I want. My fridge and pantry aren’t crowded and I don’t need to have a spare of a spare food item or get in trouble for buying the wrong thing or asked to get something on special but a larger version of the same item is still cheaper so I get that and still get in trouble. I still hate cooking but am getting there.

Thank you, Cass for this wonderful idea of reframing my thoughts my stupid baby brain gets stuck too

Vulnerable baby brain....... not dumb ❤. I love you ❤️

Cas I truly learn so much from your podcast not only about cleaning and organizing, but so much more. I learn about how to hack my mind to get what I want with my fitness and finances with the stuff you talk about .

This is fabulous! What a thought-provoking habit-changing game plan for success!

You are the best! Thank you for this…

Thank you for taking the time to make these podcasts. You make me feel like I have a sister or someone who truly cares about “me”, the one who cooks the meals, does the dishes and then gets existential about everything like “what’s the point?”. The point is that (Lord willing) there is a future self who will be thankful for my present efforts. Thank you Clutterbug ❤🙏⭐️

I needed this video. Just put away some laundry that I've been dreading.

This is so good Cas. I have managed to change my women's lib resentment at cleaning and tidying, to, I'm doing it for me, because I just love a nice house. It now gives me pleasure, and is so stress relieving. It's a joy. You have done such a lot for me. Resentment has pretty much disappeared. At 74, I have totally reframed my brain through listening to you and your colleagues. I do have a cleaner once a fortnight, for two hours, for a basic swish through, but there is still daily stuff, deep cleaning, and decluttering, to do. I employed a cleaner to avoid that resentment, but now it's just a useful add on, as we have a large house with several floors and I have mobility issues. I feel so much happier about my house and my husband!! Many thanks. Xxxxxxxx

I had a few negative experiences with my mom. God rest her soul, but one of the things that I have worked on undoing this year is that it can be done imperfect, and that's okay. My hubby is the same Cass. I need to try swapping my mindset of doing what your therapist recommended to you. I need to change my mindset on a lot of things

You, that practical mom, and the awkward Mom have honestly changed my life. With you, it is your blog channel that has really helped me more than your actual channel. You have these gems that change the way I think and you just help me so well. Better than any psychiatrist. And it’s advised that could be used for so much more than just cleaning and tidying and decluttering. Just for your overall life.

Thanks Cas, I really needed to hear this. I found it very helpful and I got a lot done while listening 😊.

Oh my gosh! I love this and thank you. It isn’t new info for me, more of a reminder. I just love the way you explain it! Thank you! ❤

Loved this, thank you Cass!

Er, I watched the video this evening, not cleaning but playing fishdom... Sorry 😁. Afterwards I went to the bathroom and on the way back to bed I thought about wanting a clean flat a few times, not how tidying/cleaning sucks. I wanted to return to bed, but I couldn't! I cleaned my kitchen counter, folded some paper bags from the latest food delivery, and some other little things. I was quite shocked how quickly that seemed to work. Haha. The most interesting thing now is, if it will work tomorrow too! Loved the topic. Will watch it again for sure! Thank you!

I needed to hear this today. Thank you! ❤

When you said "woo woo, hippy dippy, crystal rubbing...." that's when I noticed the unicorn on the shelf behind you.😆 As an "essential-oil-huffing person" I can tell you that if you use the right formula they do work, although subtly, unlike toxic pharmaceuticals. I rub a calming oil on the soles of my feet at bedtime and it helps me sleep through the night.

Changing my midset about cleaning and decluttering has helped me soo much it did take sometime to click in the brain tho

thanks so much for this video/podcast; I have been teaching my family how to help clean the house by making positive statements: like "I need everyone to pick up any trash from the floor" or "Let's all dry the shower walls after showering, it helps keep the shower clean" etc

Great video ❤ & this shirt suits you, lovely look 🎉

This was so incredibly helpful, Cas. I have so many of the same core beliefs as you, and I love how you reframed them. I also watched/listened to this one and a half times and folded three loads of laundry, so I don't have to do it tomorrow during an overloaded workday. ❤

I’m a guy and I learned a long time ago that no matter how small the project, unless I want to hunt for the tools where I might have set them down and constantly get a new pencil because I lost it, I have to wear a tool belt.

I just replied to your email with this comment...The Train Your Brain podcast tips were some of the best you've ever shared! And you've shared some great stuff!! I'm looking forward to using these to change my mind about cleaning and other things I want to change my mind about in my life. Thanks!! ~J

You are awesome, Cas!

Cass, Thank You for being so smart, and working through your shit; and so kind to share it with us, so we can work through ours. I watched this twice today, and added to my playlist to watch again❤

Thank you! You have transformed my mind. I have been watching you for a couple of months and I'm so thankful.

This podcast is amazing. I am going to work hard at training my dumb baby brain. I have always enjoyed organizing. My big issue is letting go of things, stuff, that is now just overwhelming clutter that can't be organized. I just wrote down 4 items to change my dumb baby brain. I can't wait for this to my life & home. Thank you Cas

You’re the best. Thank you Cass!

Cath has such a restful voice. Also, I dusted the living room whilst listening.

This is exactly what The Bible teaches about the power of our words.

Since I learned” Declutter”. I found FLYLADY . Bought her tools. I love weekly home blessing. I look clean. I use to do it daily. To get the happen to stick, ; now, I do yard work 15 mins at a time. Cut trees limbs for 15 mins. I started painting the deck in 15 min time frame. Then I painted my spare room . I did the walls in 15 min time frame. I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ why . But I like it . To work it for 15 mins at a time. So weird. I use to bust my butt working. I still do only 2 min to get me started . 5 mins. To it looking right. ( surface cleared). .. help, my spouse doesn’t like me. To clean. Sweep or mop the kitchen floor. To wash dishes. (3 plates. 3 bowls. 2 forks; 1 fry pan 1 pressure cooker ) so it takes a minute to wash. But he prefer the maid which is me to stop. I tried it . I get out of sorts .I get anxious to clear the counter. The floor looks dirty. The pets to be feed or their dishes need cleaning. Then I get behind. So I do 5x5 clean (2x) to get whole house in order. .

Thank you Cas. You are a diamond 💎

I’m learning!! Still. I need this . !!!

I love it Cass 💛

Thank you for introducing me to my dumb baby brain 🙂, and giving me a starting place to begin working with it (me), so that we can _together_ achieve our (my) goals, and stop working at cross purposes. I appreciate you, and thanks again. 🙂💛

I have done laundry all day of extra bedding and clothes for my boys. I am planning on getting all of our regular bedding to get done tomorrow.

I thought you’d tell me how to handcuff the vacuum cleaner to one hand, pop some mopping shoes on my feet and staple a washing up sponge to my hand at 5am today! I’m concentrating on tidying at the moment as my brain isn’t going to the cleaning part yet. My ex obliterated my extreme cleaning habits 30+yrs ago by complaining that I couldn’t do anything right (aka his way) and I tried so hard to do it his way and it still wasn’t right. Taking one step at a time. It’s actually hard getting used to going from his hoarder’s decor to seeing the floor. As soon as I get anxious about seeing the floor, I do a Wonder Woman twirl and dance to reclaim the space. He didn’t want me to feel like I was worth space in the house and that is such a subtle but toxic anxiety that I’m dealing with. Even my bedding would be thrown off the bed if it went on his side. There’s so much to that baby brain training and re-training.

Thank u

I grew up cleaning and organizing as a way to control things in my life and to keep my bipolar mother from screaming at me. Now I’m in my late 50’s and don’t feel that pressure. I worry that I’m at the other extreme. I keep my house ‘clean’ but I hate every minute of it. I don’t want to dust!

The answer to your question at 12:45 into the video is: All this cleaning, organizing, and decluttering (not in that order) feels excruciatingly BORING (making me feel wiggly and anxious inside. AND, I can never get "finished" before the next day comes, and it's getting messy again - or other areas are still messy.

Hey, oohhh! What's with the random insults? I'm over here meditating with my crystals, minding my business, tyvm.

Love your blouse! I want one.😊

Thank you for using "sub-conscious" correctly, instead of using "unconscious"! hahahahaha!

❤❤❤

😊👍🏼

Everything ends up in a landfill eventually. Holding on only delays it. I now try not to buy anything that I don’t really really need.

Sent to room & couldn't come out until it was clean - even as a young child.

Dumb baby brain's driving the bus...😂😂😂😂

Cass what ever happened with your Fire 🔥 Department stuff? 🚒 🚒 🚒

I think my biggest problem that i realized was to be labeled or marked as THAT PERSON that likes...etc.. Let me explain. Whenever i would get into a hobby, activity, anything. My mom would kind of take it too far as a supporter.. Mom my favorite color is purple. Suddenly i come home from school, my room is painted purple, purple furniture purple decor.. the whole deal Do you want to try cheerleading? Sure, I'll try it 7 years old, i really enjoyed 1 or 2 cheerleading practices. Next thing you know, i get cheerleader themed jewelry for Christmas, decor, pom poms, oh look at the cheerleaders in this team! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Now as i am older i have never settled with an actual hobby, activity or anything, i never opened up to my parents with all the things i liked (unless it looked cool to me) where i wouldnt mind showing it off. If i enjoy for too long or it becomes uncomfortable, and i move on before i am afraid to be labeled as oh the cheerleader or girly girl cuz my fav color was light purple at some point. (Not that its not cool or good. I just didnt like the preppy style and fashion. In the end i have always been a geek/gamer) Sticks with you for life.. and it sucks

What if your house is really dirty neglected even and one swipe is not going to do anything. What is a good plan ?

Cas have you read the nonanxious life. Jon Deloney?

My thoughts are this hurts, I am sore, if I lose my balance will fall yet again, I wish I was still strong enough to clean my house without landing in hospital yet again or I wish I could afford to pay for someone to do what needs to be done......! I used to love my home and that has changed because I have changed through getting older and becoming ill and becoming no longer capable. I still think people who can do something but don't do it is lazy. Unfortunately I have not been lazy nor am I lazy now but how I wish I was then I could simply buck my ideas up and get it done. ANY CLEVER IDEAS? I'M NOT HAVING MUCH LUCK WINNING THE POOLS OR THE LOTTO.

ohhhh my goodness… I am stuck for a few days… I need motivation…

Aha moment reframe your mind if you spent $40 on an item one year ago and now you no longer use it you used it for 365 days at 11 cents a day you've gotten your money's worth .... donate🎉🎉🎉

you still 'feel' messy because you have not 'reframed' that mind set!!! change those words, change your thoughts...change your life!!

My house was extremely neat all the time and clean. I just wok too much and feel tired and have a few piles. Nothing crazy, but I just don't like it.

I have never had children of my own, but I had parents who were highly critical, strict, authoritarian, etc., so I am a ball of nerves at middle age, just trying to sort myself out. I need to know, though, do current parents ever listen to things like this and realize they should teach differently in the first place? As individuals. I know parenting generally has changed.

OMG. Nooooo my daughter heard what you said about Santa and now she doesnt believe anymore! Can we please get parental warnings on this type of thing? I never thought i would have to censor your channel from children!

What makes you qualified to discuss complicated brain functions.