“He’s too afraid to log into his own bank account”

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10 ай бұрын

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Cristina and Ron. Cristina's 30, Ron is 45, and they've been married for four years. Cristina wonders why she's the one managing money in their relationship, especially when Ron is older and he should be thinking about his retirement. We discover shocking surprises in their spending.
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Produced by Crate Media.

Пікірлер: 340

@ramitsethi 10 ай бұрын

0:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

@billlabbe5781 9 ай бұрын

okay, if you put yourself out on social media, you open yourself up to scrutiny and criticism. If you are so concerned about what other people will say, perhaps putting your business out for anyone to hear might not be the best idea ;0)

@milivaro 10 ай бұрын

2 cars, 2 bikes, domestic help, multiple vacations a year with $30K CC debt but yes you’re “frugal” 😅

@Theo-B 10 ай бұрын

The way he ties everything together, Ramit is pure genius. This is more than a financial show

@chanj2109 9 ай бұрын

Yes! When Ron had the realization of how much he is like his dad. You can really see him contemplating all his decisions up to that point.

@joseCalderon1976 9 ай бұрын

It's more like a life lessons indeed. 👍

@calebmelton5989 Ай бұрын

Well yeah that's the point

@jjazxd Ай бұрын

Couple therapy sessions 👌

@amzbryce 10 ай бұрын

Ron: I don't have any hobbies I like to spend money on Also Ron: I have 2 motorcycles

@CostaBlancaFrenchies 10 ай бұрын

Yea Ron is not thinking about what Ron is saying

@nonisidharta1545 9 ай бұрын

They started dating when she was 20 year old and he was 35 year old. Yet he made her responsible for managing their family finance. He is passive aggressive. In this day and age, with increasing cost of everything, they are actually one emergency away from being poor.

@beetdiggingcougar 6 ай бұрын

Exactly what I thought. Sounds like grooming. I know several White Male/Asian Female couples in which she's significantly younger and he's never grown up. If you are an upwardly mobile Asian woman, you need to steer clear of that "mature" white guy who is interested in you. The white women his age can tell he's a loser.

@christianad3040 3 ай бұрын

honestly why date an baby of a 35 year old

@WeyermannX 10 ай бұрын

I was on completely on her side until they actually reviewed their finances... Their net worth is -47K. He may be scared for a reason. But him burying his head in the sand isn't going to solve anything

@ze_ep 9 ай бұрын

The school and housing debt doesn't count though. Are they planning on defaulting on either loan? Stopping repayments? No? Then who cares. In 20 years or 30 years or whatever it is it'll be gone, zero. That credit card debt on the other hand.. yikes!

@WeyermannX 9 ай бұрын

It's not about defaulting or not. Given what we've seen from their finances, it seems like they really dont produce a lot of excess cash flow given their current spending and debt repayment obligations. The student loan is just another required payment that makes their cash flow worse. Given the instability in his income, her nonchalant spending seems scary. Obviously his response is unhelpful and not grounded in any facts, but given her confidence that they can afford things, I didn't expect over 200,000 in student loan obligations and a budget that has such small amount of leftover after their spending is accounted for. They need to work together, or they're going to still be paying off that loan 20 years from now

@neilblondell4235 9 ай бұрын

She said the credit card debt was at 0% so better to pay of any of the interest bearing debt first, surely? 2 cars and 2 bikes….seemingly on finance, seemed to be a bit excessive if this concerned about financial situation?

@WeyermannX 9 ай бұрын

@neilblondell4235 it depends on how long they can keep the debt interest free. If they can't pay back more than the credit card amount during the interest free period, I'd focus on the credit card.

@DamianBadalamenti 8 ай бұрын

@@ze_epLOL, All debt counts. What are you talking about. They're broke AF! They shouldn't be spending a dime on anything but paying down debt.

@kelseymaher1786 10 ай бұрын

There seems to be a pattern on the show, recently, where the women are applying as a way to try to have a conversation with their avoidant partners. I find it pretty uncomfortable to watch as their frustration is pretty palpable. Why does it take Ramit, another man, saying something to have their partners understand what the woman is been saying the whole time? 🙈🙈🙈

@Wwaywardaf 10 ай бұрын

THIS!!!!!!!!!

@manyrubies 10 ай бұрын

Bc men are conditioned to not listen to women/their female partners. It’s crazy making for sure.

@paulwall142 9 ай бұрын

Watch the catalog. Their are many many episodes that are the other way around, where the wife is completely oblivious to their financial situation, does not listen/care, and spends frivolously.

@MrTofu13 9 ай бұрын

Miscommunication.

@doobfrank5376 9 ай бұрын

Therapy sometimes looks like this

@user-mj3zs4sg8x 5 ай бұрын

35 year old American man goes after a 20 year old girl from the Philippines (who at some point was homeless and begging for food, recently enough that she was begging and not her parents). We’re really not going to address that at all?

@cat7655 5 ай бұрын

Yeah and they got together when she was 16! Why is no one addressing this?

@withyoctopus 4 ай бұрын

Honestly, that's disgusting. My parents were also 16 and 29 and she was from a bad background. This is not a healthy situation. These men are predators. They look innocent and act normally, but they are after power and control over a woman and don't see her as fully human. It doesn't have to be abusive. It's still disgusting. I haven't seen even one example where the man got with a woman under 20, was 10+years older and wasn't a creep.

@Jp_vk 4 ай бұрын

I see this all the time! These poor Asian girls see marriage to an older American man as a way out of poverty. It’s so sad they feel they have to do this.

@RebelHoid Ай бұрын

20 not 16. Stop trying to make it something it’s not. He didn’t pluck her out of the Philippines. Next episode she mentions high school friends

@maame4592 16 күн бұрын

He is part of the original passport bro cohort. Total predators

@Rosemari753 10 ай бұрын

They keep saying they "can afford" all these trips on paper, but then we come to find out they have $30k in ctedit card debt and ridiculous car and bike loans. They cant afford it!! She is in denial about thier financial situation and he just cant handle dealing with, but neither are living in reality.

@anchalavasthi4881 10 ай бұрын

Word!

@ayela562 10 ай бұрын

@@asavannah7439this is true. I hate that it’s true, but it is.

@DannyDaCat 4 ай бұрын

Typical financial shell game

@LILaw-db9yr 10 ай бұрын

I love how transparent and vulnerable people are about their finances. It's so encouraging to see people from all walks of life, all levels of income, the various money backgrounds, come to the internet to discuss their emotional feelings about money.

@user-jq4zp2de2d 10 ай бұрын

How can someone claim to be frugal or cheap if they have 2 cars, 2 motorcycles, a zoo, a timeshare, and what looks like a weekly cleaning service? Not to mention they are servicing a 30k credit card debt, which is basically throwing money away. As for the age gap, a 15 year age gap is not too bad if both partners are mature/responsible, but this dynamic where Ron sits back and criticizes/restrains her while she's doing all the labor seems toxic and controlling. I am not sure if I see them together long term. I think she can do so much better on her own, or with a more responsible partner.

@bk-vc1cr 9 ай бұрын

You're the only who mentioned their age gap!!! She said that they've been together for 10 years--that means she was 20yo and he was 35yo when they got together. To each their own, but that's just disturbing--what does a 35yo man have in common with a 20yo? It is so telling how he infantilizes her by saying he needs "to keep watch" of her spending meanwhile takes no participation in actually managing it. In fact, he's a plays a huge role in their financial problems while calling himself "frugal/cheap". Now that she wants to do things that normal 30yo want to do like having a fun night out or going on trips (within reason), he polices it. Like sir, are you her parent, child or partner? All I can say to her is--drop the deadweight, you're not responsible for this man-child's retirement. Focus on yourself, enjoy life!

@ortamatama5479 9 ай бұрын

I agree. It made it seems like he's only being "frugal" towards Christina just so that she wont realize just how much money he wasted on his side hobbies. Surely since he's always preaching about "being frugal" and "not spending a dime" surely he's the responsible one here ((NOT!))

@jmjm1195 9 ай бұрын

CRISTINA DIVORCE HIM. I've been in your position...doing things on your own is not something to be proud of. It's could a trauma response... feeling like you can't rely or get the support from your loved ones and having to figure out how to literally survive (i e having to beg neighbors for food). Then you are trauma bonding with Ronnie through your past experiences with money. But he's simultaneously treating you like a child AND placing the blame on you by giving you all the responsibility which triggers your traumas around needing to survive bc he's literally saying "we don't have money" but CRISTINA you know what's it like to actually have no money. So like you said, you start to feel confused. You need a partner WILLING to grow with you. He's dragging you, he's 45 and KNOWS without you he's fucked. Leave and don't regret it.

@roannecooper2901 10 ай бұрын

Respect people who go on this show however this is classic example of weaponised incompetence. He’s a finance manager, but he’s quite happy for her to bare all the emotional load of finances. She will leave him, and he will shrug his shoulders and say “what did I do?”.

@alexisballard1459 9 ай бұрын

I wouldn’t necessarily declare that weaponized incompetence is always on purpose. It’s very likely this dynamic worked for them in a different season of their relationship, but most people don’t know how or when to change those dynamics because they are on autopilot

@tomaszp2027 10 ай бұрын

A fucking timeshare and 30k in CC debt in the last 2 minutes. Talk about a cliffhanger

@Dan16673 10 ай бұрын

Timeshares are an American speciality. Only this dumb country would have such a dumb idea

@jeromehenry4484 10 ай бұрын

Would love to know the interest rates on those credit cards when the Introductory 0% APR is over, which is usually 12 - 18 months from original balance transfer date.

@diannadeerodriguez3718 5 ай бұрын

For real

@danikeebler1662 10 ай бұрын

Any time I hear a partner refusing to deal with money and defers to the one partner, I am hearing....you take the responsibility, while I hide behind your skirt. If we go belly up, bankrupt, or homeless...it is YOUR fault. I was just sitting here minding my own business while YOU were sending us to the poor house. What are YOU going to do to dig us out??

@dorahmulinge3800 9 ай бұрын

This!!! Facts

@caga678 9 ай бұрын

This is incredibly accurate. I received many of the same comments from my ex-husband.

@rhondavigil795 10 ай бұрын

Budget, plan, execute. Meet every payday. Tell your money where to go. Fear around money is a waste of energy. He needs to grow up

@cliffordl.4022 10 ай бұрын

Thank goodness they came to you. He avoids dealing with money and she is young and just learning. Can't wait for part two.

@joseCalderon1976 9 ай бұрын

I was spending money like a maniac and was making my wife cry. I'm currently in chapter 7 bankruptcy and I finally stopped. I love my wife and family too much to just continue my destructive behavior. I went and got professional help for my spending addiction and I'm doing MUCH BETTER this year. I'm actually saving more money now than ever before. I hope that the couple in this video get together with their finances.

@SilentSzZ 7 ай бұрын

Well done on making the change Jose and keep it up!

@mariefx6401 9 ай бұрын

I can relate to her, my husband doesn’t try to know what is going on with the finances. I handle it all on my own including the stress. All I hear from him is “stop stressing”. Easier said than done.

@mamalovesthebeach437 10 ай бұрын

Fabulous interview Ramit! In the first 2/3 of the interview I was feeling very concerned for Christina. The last third kind of blew things out of the water. 30 K in credit card debt and she’s blowing that off WTF! And then there’s the timeshare…🤦‍♀️ These two can wrap up their debt and start being intelligent about their money and be in good shape If they choose to. Part two ought to be quite the education.

@jimv77 9 ай бұрын

The 15 year age gap is the challenging part I think. When you in your 20s and finally reach the goal of getting a full time job and as long as bills were paid any leftover money is spending money. Once you hit 40s is when most folks start worrying about the future and full time work is no longer as fun as before and the passion goes away.

@ruibai434 9 ай бұрын

Worrying about retirement at 40 is too late though.

@Armchair-Investor 9 ай бұрын

@@ruibai434agreed. I was already worrying about retirement at 24 years old. Thank you Suze Orman. 😊

@Mav0585 9 ай бұрын

Totally

@zozozizi6688 9 ай бұрын

@@ruibai434lol he still has 25 years and he is way ahead of most of us financially

@janebaker4912 8 ай бұрын

She's going to be a hospice wife.

@claudetterobinson67 10 ай бұрын

🗣️ I can’t say it enough….. I love Ramit! 💖 You are a true gift to us normal people who need guidance with our money. Thank you for all you do!

@workinprogresssince1974 10 ай бұрын

It is not her responsibility to repair the damage caused because he didn't plan better for his retirement. That said, if they stay together, then not planning for his retirement will impact her because she will ultimately end up having to carry him, or he will just have to keep working until he dies if he is able to. So all round it all impacts her as the younger partner. This could ultimately end up being the relationship breaker. I have had older partners that were irresponsible with money and it's hard when you are trying to plan responsibly for everyone but they just aren't interested.

@IAmebAdger 6 ай бұрын

I don't think you can look at her and him in isolation like that. They are a team, they should be making decisions together, he should open up and be her partner like she wants him to so they can shoulder the goal together (it's not an individual responsibility, it's a team goal).

@hychannel555 10 ай бұрын

I'm just here for the comment section today.

@lindsay3995 10 ай бұрын

I get why it's not realistic for everyone, but it seems so much healthier when people have their wake-up-calls while single & get a feeling of mastery over their own lifestyles & concept of earning/spending while they have all the flexibility in the world and have no one to "answer to" and no second or third parties (children) to be responsible for. The sacrifices are all exclusively your own at that point. I have to wonder about those never single or, in this case, someone who gets into a relationship at 20, then is never single ever as an adult. That would be scary in its own ways.

@harveylin3548 10 ай бұрын

I like how funny it is at the end of this video, OP found out just how much worse their "real" financial situation is and basically had the realization that the past hour was just appetizers.

@catcurlify 10 ай бұрын

She talks about how far she can go, and then he talks about being an anchor. I felt so compelled to scream at her "That's a ball and chain!" She could literally be 10x happier single.

@simoneXox 10 ай бұрын

Yeah...its hard when you love someone though. Can't see the bigger picture and also you can't just leave like that.....she wants it to work. I've left in the past but some people cant....

@MissGirl1450 10 ай бұрын

If I did the math right, he was in his thirties and she was twenty when they met.

@jessehahm3177 10 ай бұрын

Yep, super creepy honestly@@MissGirl1450

@jeromehenry4484 10 ай бұрын

@@MissGirl1450 100% correct, that's the problem! Unfortunately, many Asian/Philippina girls are raised to believe that an older American male will be wise, stable career, have a decent nest-egg, and possibly a house. 5 jobs in 1 year??? are you kidding me? I bet half those investments are really Cristina's. I'm going to be brutally honest: Cristina is on the rise, Ronnie is on the decline. She needs to divorce Ronnie quick if she ever wants to have children because he will not be a provider husband. Cristina is smart & attractive; she can do much better this guy.

@Palomitapalomita 10 ай бұрын

You are spot on. Five seconds in and I'm like GIRL why are you taking care of a grown man 15 years older than you??? Why is he your project and you're picking up all the pieces he's dropped for over two decades? Ugh. She's too young to see what is going on.

@snp5O0 10 ай бұрын

She was only 20 and he was 35 when they started dating. Nothing wrong, just 🤯

@kickaplan 10 ай бұрын

I find it concerning... was looking in the comments for someone to call this out. Major power dynamics at play even if unintentional.

@jeromehenry4484 10 ай бұрын

I find it more concerning Ronnie was 41 YO when he married Cristina, which appears to be his 1st marriage. Hope I'm wrong, but it has nurse-with-a-purse vibes.

@Coffeetime1991 9 ай бұрын

She must have really low self esteem

@tripleuno5900 9 ай бұрын

@@DAL201107 you're not gonna help people to your cause by being homophobic... just making it more apparent you're mentally closer to someone 15 years younger.

@75pdubs Ай бұрын

Nothing wrong with it if the man is the man of the relationship. There’s no advantage to her just added stress if she’s wearing the pants.

@Obviously-dc1xp 10 ай бұрын

He avoids and has put a lot on her plate under the idea of “keeping her grounded”. She is more like his financial assistant, keeping him grounded and managing both of their accounts.

@harveylin3548 10 ай бұрын

Didn't workout well enough to the point of a negative net worth. So at the end of the video, we found out no one is grounded at all.

@DamianBadalamenti 8 ай бұрын

She's not managing anything they have a negative net worth.

@Mattwms86 9 ай бұрын

To each their own but that age gap is worrisome

@JaviandRonin 10 ай бұрын

So having finance in your job title does not mean anything about being able to manage your personal finances , good to know 💀

@lindsay3995 10 ай бұрын

Alright, so we've had the "emotional labor" conversation in society at this point. Officially time to talk about "financial labor" in relationships. The dynamic that one person oversees the money and the others' contribution is browbeating & passive criticism is awful. If you want input, take some substantive responsibility. Plus, he talks about his habits of going out with his boys and spending...but "now that we're together." Dude, the Vegas boys' trips were a full DECADE ago now. They've been together a decade.

@woboznz 10 ай бұрын

I noticed that too. 10 years ago is irrelevant!! They both kept comparing 10 years ago to now like they've only just gotten together. God I hope she leaves his ass

@mikaelaziegler9782 10 ай бұрын

I found it really odd that he didn’t care much about future and would spend the money he had on boys nights and going out. But then as soon as he’s married… he “grounds” her and keeps her from overspending and putting them in financial ruin. But she’s the one who knows the numbers and puts a plan together for how she’ll take the trip. He seems undercover sexist and controlling. Maybe that comes from when he was single he didn’t care about himself, but now that he’s married, he sees how his dad did things and now he feels pressured to do the same and provide. But he’s not taking any accountability for their money and making her do all the work, yet complaining about things. Totally not fair

@isabelreyes6387 10 ай бұрын

People are getting loans from this 45 yo man and he can’t do basic math or even know what he makes a year. Folks do not take financial advice from “financial advisors” 😂

@TheFirstRealChewy 9 ай бұрын

$30K of credit card debt? Cancel all plans and pay that off. If you can't pay off your credit card each month then you don't have enough money. It doesn't matter if there is a 0% interest. That 0% won't last forever, it affects your credit, and it just sucks when all of your money today is going towards things you bought long ago.

@staceybulleigh8408 10 ай бұрын

"Noahs Ark worth of pets" 😂😂

@hmiller7948 10 ай бұрын

I've watched the majority of Ramit's episodes and read his book and think his content is super informative but for the life of me I don't understand why he is so adamant that his conscious spending plan is not a budget. A budget is just a plan for how you are going to allocate your money and it looks forward... which also describes the conscious spending plan. I have never heard of a budget where you simply tally what you spent in the past - if that really was what a budget is, then I would agree with Ramit that it is of limited use (only to really help provide a starting point to plan future spending). Am I missing something here?

@laurenstylish 10 ай бұрын

I’m betting it’s because of the negative emotional baggage many have with the term/concept of “budget” and “budgeting” and his main goal is to get people out of their negative spirals and feelings about all things money related.

@AlanH2B 10 ай бұрын

I getcha - generally it is a shift in approach, saying that you can spend money on these things rather than you can't. That said, I can't think of another approach which actively allocates money to spending money on useless stuff (guilt free spending). That's definitely not a feature of your average budget.

@FLaSHFReeeZ 9 ай бұрын

The point is the emotions attached. It's the same as saying I have a glass that's halfway full of water instead of saying I have a glass that is halfway empty. I'm consciously spending instead of budgetting and "not being able to live my life" as people like to put it.

@alexisballard1459 9 ай бұрын

I think this everytime he says it!! Lol he is referring to an EXPENSE TRACKER not a BUDGET when he claims things only look backwards

@chancemedley4914 9 ай бұрын

I just wrote a similar comment before reading yours. To me, the word budget is not inherently negative at all - it's a tool and guide to follow. And the truth is, even if it does mean "restriction" SOME PEOPLE NEED ACCOUNTABILITY AND RESTRICTIONS. We are talking about building good habits and that is inherently very difficult. We have to wrangle ourselves into the long term goal to live the life we want.

@workinprogresssince1974 10 ай бұрын

Is a control freak around money? It's weird that he's the one with the problem around money ie anxiety but he manages to make the spending of money her problem because sometimes she wants to enjoy it, whereas he would rather do nothing with his life just to keep the zeros in the account. And yet he doesn't even manage the finances. It's an interesting dynamic.

@LOLZHAHANOTFUNNY 10 ай бұрын

I could see in a different universe that my husband would be this guy and I would be the wife. I'm a spender who keeps track of all these details and files our taxes for us and knows our retirement contribution elections and at what amount. My husband is very conservative with money but also doesn't want to think about his health insurance elections and disability insurance and our daughter's college fund. So we've had budget meetings every week for 5+ years and we've met in the middle on values and strategy for the most part. And he handles more of the day to day money demands while I handle more long term and conceptual money demands. There is a way of making any two styles come together to form a dynamic duo, if both people are willing to bend when needed.

@AG-so4gl 3 ай бұрын

This channel is leaning towards marriage counselling rather than financial coaching, just my observation... All good 😊

@chrisbaker2669 10 ай бұрын

How can you say that they have money when there net worth is negative $45,000? That sounds broke to me even if they have some savings account money.

@DamianBadalamenti 8 ай бұрын

Exactly he keeps saying they have money, but then they have a negative net worth. They're completely broke, no vacation and start being smart with their money.

@mrs.rachelgerald1991 9 ай бұрын

Patiently waiting for part 2. Thank you for sharing their story.

@claudiathomas3560 10 ай бұрын

30k in CC debt has me tense and it’s not even mine! Lol. Looking forward to part 2 next week.

@holamissmusica 10 ай бұрын

He's worried that he's going to make an awful mistake with their money. The problem is, he's making it by standing still anyway 🤷🏾‍♀️

@LyfeWithJoy 10 ай бұрын

Part 2 should be good, this was good ! Thank you!

@license2Bort 9 ай бұрын

Him being cheap is his issue, but the debt is an issue they both created...

@annastrazdina569 9 ай бұрын

I will start with I really enjoy all your episodes. In this particular one your shock at pet insurance surprised me, so let me tell you a story. I used to think they were a scam until this happened. We adopted a puppy from a shelter and my husband paid for it. they automatically signed us up for pet insurance. He didn’t notice. If it had been my account I would have cancelled it. Well a month later this little dude fell off a park bench , broke his leg in 4 places and needed surgery that was going to cost 10k. I remember about the insurance and they ended up covered 90% of the cost of the care. We saved 9000$. I signed our other dog up for pet insurance the next day.

@spatty918 4 ай бұрын

I was surprised too! I've had two cats who turned out to be medically complex and the insurance was a lifesaver. Literally. I don't like to think what decisions I would have had to make if I didn't have that coverage.

@GruncleJohn 9 ай бұрын

This is close to my heart. We’ve done those mistakes except the pets and whole life. My Dad was like his dad. I know where she’s coming from because I grew up in the Phil’s. Can’t wait for part two!

@blackwomenbuildwealth 10 ай бұрын

Great interview! I wasn't ready for the surprises on the CSP at the end 😅. Can't wait for part #2!

@snackman2005 10 ай бұрын

Seems like a father daughter relationship as far as finances go.

@spf_500 Ай бұрын

Yep.

@pamelalima5401 5 ай бұрын

Deep conversation… our parents struggles have influence in our lives more than we can imagine

@Bmf214 10 ай бұрын

This was an awesome episode! I enjoyed it so much! Can’t wait for part two!!

@Adman-p4j 10 ай бұрын

same. Fun couple to talk to.

@pbncs 10 ай бұрын

Can’t wait for part 2!!!

@natashacarr7010 10 ай бұрын

Did I hear it mentioned he made a career change to this “finance manager” position? What did he do before this? As an accountant, seeing a “finance manager” who doesn’t want to take ownership of his household’s finances bc “he’s scared to bankrupt them” is crazy. And what kinda pets do they have costing $700/month?? I don’t have any but googling average pet insurance, it says $55/month (for dogs, less for cats), $175?? Next week is gonna be interesting for sure.

@mikaelaziegler9782 10 ай бұрын

I have 2 cats, each with a minor health issue and it’s $250/mo on average for them. Idk what $700 looks like unless they have a diabetic pet for other health issue

@harveylin3548 10 ай бұрын

Years of cheap money from the fed going into the economy, is going to create people like this to manage all of those cheap money. Now that has stopped, we starts to see the wider societal impact of this act.

@TatiH28 10 ай бұрын

He’s far from an accountant. He sells financing options for bikes. He helps people get into debt.. he doesn’t manage finances

@cloudsmith7803 9 ай бұрын

@@TatiH28 Yeah, his role is much more sales running a check list.

@susanner35 10 ай бұрын

What can I say to be helpful? I am sure they’ve received guff for the age gap before and I’m proud of them for coming on the show. I see a lot of signs of past addiction struggles in the guy. When you’re an addict, your emotional maturity gets stunted. If thats the case here, then exactly what he needs to do with the finances is do the boring day-to-day and view it as self-care, not as a virtuous act of selflessness. He needs a stable daily financial practice to keep himself honest with himself and not blame her for his own financial problems. Additionally, I see a lot of signs of being a parentified child in the woman. From having to go herself to beg for dinner, to planning her much older husband’s retirement…she definitely needs opportunities to feel irresponsible that don’t impact the bottom line. I really don’t know how she would do this without taking space from the relationship…maybe in Part 2 she will figure that out? Good luck to them both.

@anchalavasthi4881 10 ай бұрын

In what world is it ok to have so much debt and yet even think (in her case she’s taken multiple vacations) about vacations? They obviously are living parallel lives. She’s young and want to enjoy her life traveling and he literally said has no hobbies!

@spf_500 Ай бұрын

Yep. Man credit card interest rates are insaaannneee. 30k just blew my mind

@rossmarymarquez4700 9 ай бұрын

Say no to timeshare

@cmay4242 10 ай бұрын

$2000 a month can easily come off the books

@albert1558 9 ай бұрын

You would think she would feel the same as to saving money because of her life experience as child asking her neighbors for food. I’m learning a lot as you explain human behavior.

@BrandonTalksFitness 9 ай бұрын

Wait at first she says they have money and they can afford to spend it but then you find out they have a -$47,000 NET WORTH & $30,000 OF CREDIT CARD DEBT & $1,400/MO TOWARDS THEIR CARS

@DamianBadalamenti 8 ай бұрын

Some people line in an alternate reality, they're broke AF! And shouldn't be spending a dime on anything until it's paid off.

@DevanConrad 10 ай бұрын

They have different perspectives on debt. Have to suspend judgement until part 2 given the debt reveal at the end.

@sue1703 10 ай бұрын

Oh my goodness! I get stressed when I see how much people owe on cars & motorcycles, credit cards, student loans and a mortgage too. They need to get rid of stuff and lighten their load. How can u live a calm and peaceful life with the weigh of this debt?

@chancemedley4914 9 ай бұрын

I dont understand Ramit's rejection of budgeting. Probably gotten this comment a thousand times but to me a budget is simply a plan for success - it can be as strict or as relaxed as needed/wanted. To me, it is essential to plan for the success and lifestyle you want.

@KnineFeline 9 ай бұрын

I think you're using a budget properly. For me, budget did = expense tracker. I'd list out all my expenses, realize I had no spending money, then became miserable. Preplanning before spending is the way to go, irrespective of what it's called. And often, in the financial space, budget becomes a tool to punish "bad spending behavior". It's partially language and recoding for folks who have negative associations with "budgeting".

@kailaleebabineau3962 4 ай бұрын

He rejects budgeting so he can rebrand it as CSP and act like he's invented a new system 😂 love ramit but he def dabbles in some borderline shady guru nonsense

@Rigs_1980 3 ай бұрын

😂..it’s psychological way to look at the same thing in a different way. It’s the same metric disguised with a different view. One has a positive influence while the other has a negative view.

@spf_500 Ай бұрын

😂 😂 I like calling my budget a CSP. it sounds classy lol

@Adman-p4j 10 ай бұрын

I really enjoyed this episode. Looking forward to part 2. Do they both ride motorcycles or does he ride 2 at the same time? That's my question.

@lonewolf7704 10 ай бұрын

I love part 2s.

@johntarzen2228 10 ай бұрын

I love your interview ramit

@dreamingofskyrim 10 ай бұрын

Shes thinls 30k in credit card debt is totally fine. They both need to run from each other.

@harveylin3548 10 ай бұрын

I work for a company that primarily serve those kind of people, now I know why I have a good job lol.

@soundincome 2 ай бұрын

How about approach him with ways to MAKE MONEY

@marijanachevska1349 9 ай бұрын

Omg.. so he spent this money in his youth like he wanted and now he is "rational". It feels like when the parent was irresponsable with money and now unfortunately his partner (or child) has to manage everthing and ASK FOR PERMISSION AN EXPLAIN herself for purchasing anything.

@betz6507 9 ай бұрын

She keeps bringing up his age -- red flag. She's going to leave. It's coming.

@f25mart 5 ай бұрын

This Ron guy stinks 😂 but props to him for being vulnerable and laying it all out there for us

@CharlotteRentals 10 ай бұрын

Did y’all catch that this guy was in his mid to late 30’s dating an 18-20 yr old WOW she’s gonna look back regretful Also RA it I think you have the best content on KZfaq

@ashhas1000 10 ай бұрын

Not that I’m defending the guy in any way, but why do you think she will look back on their relationship with regret?😮

@Joce123 10 ай бұрын

@ashhas1000 She's getting her rich life now...She feels secure with him.She is immature about money.

@lucaspm98 10 ай бұрын

Are you implying there’s something wrong with that?

@justinsaunders9358 10 ай бұрын

That age difference is not abnormal, and it's a choice that she made.

@katie8325 10 ай бұрын

@@lucaspm98she’s not implying, she’s explicitly stating it. There’s definitely a potential power imbalance in that scenario.

@danielvee2441 5 ай бұрын

Hot take. I'm getting tired of how my people gatekeep what is poor. I know a lot of people who use the poverty in their motherland as a justification to live a lavish lifestyle (i.e mortgage beyond 50% of their take home, leased Mercedes, Louis Vuitton purses).

@latulip100 3 ай бұрын

I think it’s because they made this huge sacrifice leaving their families and friends behind, and they are looking to luxuries to fill the void. I think this happened to me a bit when I moved for work.

@picofreeflow 10 ай бұрын

WOW!! It got wayyyyyy worse as the episode progressed!

@gallica3 10 ай бұрын

he is a financial manager???? wow.

@dudewhat7738 10 ай бұрын

Not really. That's his title. He is the guy you talk to about getting a loan for your motorcycle. His title is misleading. A better title would be a loan officer.

@alexisballard1459 9 ай бұрын

Right ^^ he’s a professional at getting people to sign up for DEBT on a depreciating asset, which isn’t necessarily financially savvy

@ChrisRampersad 10 ай бұрын

What i cant wait for part 2

@kingdele01 3 ай бұрын

Another point for not fully combining incomes and getting a prenuptial agreement.

@bardsblond589 6 ай бұрын

He started dating her when she was a kid and then put her in charge of their finances? What on earth…

@joseCalderon1976 9 ай бұрын

My networth is $146k at age 47. Even though I have messed up big time in credit card debt and consumer debt, I've been able to do very well in the mortgage side of things and in staying away from RIDICULOUS car payments. I have a ZERO vehicle payments. Then gentleman and the lady in this video makes like at least 5x more than me and my wife (around $95k after taxes), and I can make an extra $30k per year in OT when I get the chance. We also have two kids. So if they get their stuff straight, they will be ahead of me in no time. If they don't, I would be ahead once we all retire. Crazy right? But that story is not that uncommon. I wish them luck and success. They can do it. So can I 👍

@hankhilldoeshisthing 10 ай бұрын

I'm not a fan of supporting divorce. They seem to still like each other, I'm sure they can work it out.

@dakine4238 9 ай бұрын

I actually am making more money now than I ever have. I was putting money away automatically and the one time I didnt I just soent it all. So, I realize I need a system in place that prevents me from soending and allows me to disperse money where it needs to go right away.

@Mayah862 10 ай бұрын

It seems they are both doing poverty olympics and not really and truly understanding the emotional impacts of what they went through.

@spf_500 Ай бұрын

Yep

@T8rB 6 ай бұрын

Ron sure doesnt seem invested in his life at all tbh. Hes lucky to have someone who cares as much as her

@bibirazak765 9 ай бұрын

Where can I watch part 2?

@n64mariokartchamp14 9 ай бұрын

Ron, don’t fumble her brother. Reel the debt in a bit and at the same time treat her like the partner she is.

@user-vc9or5uc4x 9 ай бұрын

Ron looks like Lex Luther on Smallville 😂😂😂😂 literally twins

@firststar2 10 ай бұрын

I'm frugal but I have a car and a motor cycle

@harveylin3548 10 ай бұрын

I also find people in dire financial situations have no context in how their situation really is.

@Dan16673 10 ай бұрын

He is that dumbbvv

@milivaro 10 ай бұрын

And domestic help! 😂

@gchaly1 Ай бұрын

Financial and marriage counseling for free. 👊

@isagoldfield7393 9 ай бұрын

I can so relate🌿🍁🍥

@AyanAkbar 2 ай бұрын

Can’t find the Part2

@desiree4ayy 10 ай бұрын

Motorcycles, timeshares, pets... no wonder dude doesn't want to look 😂

@szablicka 7 ай бұрын

Christina and Rob - thank you for your courage❤❤❤ thanks to you we all can learn❤ Ramit - you rock!

@jeromehenry4484 10 ай бұрын

Really hope Part 2 clarifies their figures, especially his income situation. 1st he says HE earns $120K/year, but later says it's combined household income. Cristina has stable income & rising; Ronnie is very unstable employment wise for a 45 YO man. So far, my impression of Ronnie is his mindset is like a 21 YO just now legally allowed to drink alcohol with buddies, no career or financial goals. By end of Part 1, it really appears that Ronnie is financial dead weight; Cristina should consider divorcing Ronnie. Don't think Cristina realizes how quickly Ronnie's health could head south & she would be 100% responsible for his medical care & all other expenses. If he is not laid off again (most likely to be laid off in 50's), he has about 16 - 17 years until early Social Security retirement. If that $83.8K in Investments is 100% Ronnie's that is really behind the curve for a 45 YO man, so what is HIS plan to increase his retirement savings rate??? However, I suspect that half of those investments really belongs to Cristina. It's not surprising why Ronnie doesn't want to look at their finances because he doesn't like personal accountability. Hate to break it to Cristina, this situation looks like "nurse with a purse", meaning Ronnie is parasitizing off of Cristina. Let's just hope they remain child-free because Ronnie is psychologically impaired to be a decent father.

@harveylin3548 10 ай бұрын

They are both living way above their means and pulling future earnings to be spent today. Sounds like how the US government spends our money nowadays.

@jeromehenry4484 10 ай бұрын

@@harveylin3548 I got a headache listening to how income figures were calculated; still don't know how much Ronnie actually earns and how long has he been at current job. It definitely appears to be spending before earning (living beyond means). I'm not against Introductory 0% APR's on balance transfers (sometimes they're a necessary evil), but to pretend that 5% upfront balance transfer fee doesn't count in lieu of "interest" is ludicrous. $30K credit card debt x 5% = $1,500! It's hypocritical for Ronnie to be against Cristina's girl outings when he clearly stated during his 20's & 30's he spent freely on outings with his buddies. Probably main reason he has so little in investments/retirement accounts.

@thelordraj5412 10 ай бұрын

sooo many assumuptions... all negative at that, who are you to say who will or won't be a good parent??

@Anna-qz6xw 9 ай бұрын

The way he talked about how free he was before he met her, Vegas blah blah. He shifted the responsibility and basically blamed her for all the stress he has in life now. Uhh not the response I would want to hear from a partner, esp. 45 y.o. one.

@cloudsmith7803 9 ай бұрын

@@Anna-qz6xw Yeah he has some self reflection and growth to go through, but they're not in dire straits. High enough income, cut they're toy spending, better savings and they're right back on track.

@johnnyappleman7159 7 ай бұрын

I hit my "dream number" about two years ago which was my first 100K I've doubled that and I still feel uneasy. I spent 4K on a trip this past month and even though it's a tiny part of my income and net worth 2% and 4% respectively I still can't get out of my head that I'll never have that money back there's a certain level of fear that I'll be poor forever even though I'm objectively not. Wealth doesn't solve fear it only makes you sound stupid when you talk to your therapist.

@SilentSzZ 7 ай бұрын

Hope you can figure it out Johnny. Remember life is for living. I hope you had an awesome trip and can go on some more very soon.

@guidedbybreath2702 Ай бұрын

If you have a good therapist, they’re not judging you.

@mateoharmiss5830 7 ай бұрын

people need to understand that because your married doesn't mean everything in one account , reality is everyone has there account and one middle account for the bills payed in half like that you do and buy what you want with your money and he does the same. Why complicate things when the can be simple .