Childhood trauma is the true gateway to addiction. Parents please be present for your children!

Nervous laughter. She laughs so she doesnt cry. God bless her. Nobody wants to live like an addict lives.

My daughter was in Kensington,Camden and wound up dying in Grays Ferry in 2016..She was a very loving and beautiful soul.She has witnessed death of her friends,family and her BF wound up with 30 years in State Prison for killing his cousin and Grandfather due to addiction.PTSD played a huge part in my daughters life especially after her grandmother passed away.She left behind 2 beautiful boys,1 was put up for adoption but the other ( her oldest) misses his Mom,they were so tight even during her using he never gave up on her..She had been clean for 2 weeks and took the bus to get Xanax so she could sleep.Came home went to bed and that was it,she passed in her sleep from Fentanyl laced Xanax …Im grateful for these videos to see into the lives of others and maybe get a glimpse into what my daughters world was like then..I miss her so much and hope that every person on the streets get help,accept the help and be free of addiction…God Bless 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Am I the only one who is tired of people who say: "Wooow, she is so smart, well spoken, etc." It's always that stigma around addicts, especially heroin addicts that they are dumb and dont know damn thing, while in fact many of them are highly intelligent. My mom was one of them. She fluently spoke 5 languages, read more books in her life than most of the people would even see in theirs. Especially those who judge and stigmatize. But unfortunately, she lost her battle with addiction when I was just 9 years old. She overdosed. Miss her every day, cause I know she trully loved me and cared about me, not many people I can tell that now about. And thats enough for me, and knowing she is in better place now, not suffering anymore. People should know that addicts are much more than their addiction.

33 and looks already like 50. Her reaction to the question, some good memories as a chield, is heartbreaking. Giving those people a voice and ear is great.

I just lost a friend who was just 60 years old. Been addicted since he was a teenager. Our conversations ranged far and wide . He was intelligent and well read , owned his own home , cared about his eledrly parents but was caught in the eternal damnation of drug addiction. Can only say that his suffering has now ended. Bye Mark.

It’s sad when he asks, “what’s the best memory you have from childhood?” And they can’t think of anything 😞

This is my favorite interview yet. I'm a former addict of hard drugs. I still struggle with lesser. Keep igniting our passion to help one another. Continue portraying truth. We're not all that different.

Her hair is actually amazing. Watching these videos makes me so glad I’m in recovery.

Absolutely heartbreaking. My 23 yr old daughter is an heroine addict and has been for about 6 years. Ive done everything possible to try and help her and I couldn’t. I finally learned I couldn’t fix her that she needed to do that for herself. As hard as it was and still is for me I have to keep some distance so I don’t enable her. I’ve tried so hard to show her that even tho she is the one addicted it might as well be me also and our family because we suffer right along with her in the worse ways. It hurts that sometimes she thinks I’ve just turned my back on her but as much as I love her I won’t love her to death if that makes sense. By keeping my distance my hope is she will get tired of the struggle and reach out for help. Please don’t think I’m saying I give up on my child or that I’m not there for her because 100% she is my world but I refuse to help her hurt herself or even worse. I’m here for anything she needs that involves getting her heathy, safe, clean and on the road to recovery. It saddens to see that most of these beautiful people don’t have that support and feel so alone. Don’t give up on them. It’s possible to love them and support them thru the process of recovery without enabling them and turning your back on them. My prayers are with you and I pray that you find your way and that you get the life you really deserve.

*Trauma is the Gateway Drug* ..this is pretty widely accepted now. _and trauma can mean something very different for each & every person_ I love what you’re doing on your channel!! The presentation, the questions.. everything about it! ☺️ thank you for this!!

She's very smart and everything she said is spot on. Hard to tell if she wants to give up drugs, but i hope she can find a way out

I completely understand the self medicating aspect. I have terrible anxiety & ptsd, bipolar depression, & BPD. Opiates completely evened out everything so I could function normally & manage my life, while having no bad side effects & euphoric feeling, where as now I have multiple medications that don't completely help & have all these awful different side effects. Drs & people in my life are failing me, but I refuse to fail me. Im 2 years clean & I'm trying my best to figure out the path to everything that I want in life. I hope for a better future for her.

That’s the one thing I keep hearing from all these girls. “Don’t judge people”. And honestly that’s the best advice anyone in the world can give. Please don’t judge people u never know what they r going through or where they come from. ❤️

I’m in recovery for heroin addiction for over 14 months now and I’m happy and loving life.. I experienced so much of what this lady has and I really connected with her pain.. I hope one day she can turn her life around and she’s right addicts are strong you just need to get to that point we’re you take that strength and do something with it... wish her luck x

It’s so sad when it takes a fellow human a long time to answer the question ‘When did someone last tell you they loved you?’

5:50 , i felt this in my soul... ill be two years sober from methanphetamines, heroin, crack and fentynal march 11, i have faith and hope for you Jessica.

She has beautiful hair. Everything she said is spot on. She’s a smart girl. Get outta there! You deserve so much better.

She’s well spoken and doesn’t seem to far gone she can make it

She's absolutely right about people not being allowed to discipline their kids. Some parents are afraid to even give a child a time out. Because we live in a world where people sometimes lose their kids over nothing so it's scary. Some people have ptsd just because of that. There's a lot wrong in this world.

Wow, she’s pleasant and well spoken...praying for her and all of these lost souls.

I feel bad for all addicts. The one thing that would hurt most is having to leave ur children behind due to her addiction. In my opinion.People don't want to be addicts its misery but they are stuck in the cycle. Once u dont get high u keep using not to be sick or feel semi normal. Pray she makes it thru to be sober on the other side. 💕Edit: Thank you for your channel and filming these. I think it may help some change their opinions of Addiction and addicts💕 BLESS YOU

An addicts life is a sad life. I know, I'm an addict. She digs deep. We are good people. God bless her!

My sister and I were raised by addicts but we both decided NOT do drugs but we could have easily been drug addicts and prostitutes but we knew where that would lead us based on being raised by addicts

I know how you feel. Having an emotionally unavailable parent does damage. I never realized it was happening until I grew up. Keep your head high, you are very intellectual.

I just want to say that I think what you’re doing is so powerful. Not only are you helping to raise awareness and decrease stigma around addiction, but you’re also providing a form of therapy to these people who are really hurting- giving them pause to reflect on their situations. Empathy, interest, and a listening ear can go a long way in helping someone help themself-which is always a crucial step to recovery.

12 years old was extremely young and I’m so sorry you had that traumatic experience. I see you and I see a beautiful soul, wise, brave, and very capable of changing your life around. God is always on your side, if you decide you want to recover I have faith that you 100% can. Hope to see updates soon. Praying for you ❤️

It breaks my heart when people struggle to come up with a good childhood memory. That's so sad to me. She had to really think for a second.

Girl, you’re too damn smart for this. I hope she gets clean. Sounds like she could do a LOT with her life

This is one of the saddest ones because I see so much potential in this one. I don't think it's to late for her to be saved. So many of them are just to far gone.

She is such a sweetheart & cares about other people so much.. I really hope she will get out of that vicious circle..❤

Her hair is so beautiful. The colour of her eyes is beautiful too. She's articulate, smart, pleasant. I wish the best to Jessica

She’s truly so beautiful really hope she gets out of this situation 🙏🏻

You have some very unique work here. I hope you stay with this project even as opportunity takes you in other directions. I think that coming back to your subjects at 6 month or 1 year intervals would give an even more in depth view into the dilemma facing these individuals. Time lapse film documentation is an extremely powerful tool. I think in years to come you could tie all these segments into one single comprehensive work that you should take to the film festivals for critical review. If enlightening this cause is the ultimate goal, this would certainly provide an opportunity to bring it to an even wider audience. Film making skill is an art. And you most definitely are an artist.

I REALLY like her and I really appriciate her good idealistic oppinions....... What she talk about is sooo essencial..... People lost their minds and hearts..... Not to mention that people totally lost their morality - This lady is WISE..... The lost treasure in this world - She is very clear minded ♥️♥️♥️✨✨✨

i met jessica 11/21. she is beautiful. she got food and i believe was going through the clothing. i spoke with her. her hair is so long and beautiful. such a kind appreciative soul.

Wow she looks like her late 40’s , never would have thought she was 33

She's so full of life for someone who wants to make it all go away. Some of these people have been so sad and empty but she still has a spark. I hope she can get clean and get back on track. ❤ sending good thoughts and best wishes.

It's been 20 years on methadone and I don't think I will ever give up

Jessica, thank you for this interview. I just want so much for you. Please, please find your way to rehab; you have so much to give. Would love to see you get clean and help others who struggle with addiction.

She is a very interesting person. I hope she finds help and solace 💔❤️

I believe in the childhood trauma that turns to addiction. I’m a recovering pill abuser. And I’ve suppressed my trauma my entire life. I’ve never told anyone and I never said it out loud. I can’t even say I’m 100% certain it happened. I’m about 99%. Years of therapy and I still haven’t told my shrink. But I believe my addiction stemmed from my past. I grew up in a wealthy household with a great mom (rip mom). I wish this lady well. She’s cool. I bet I could talk to her for hours. Hope she’s okay

Her eyes 🥺 when you asked about childhood memories. 💔😭

*If anything, she got a healthy head of hair!*

Awww I really like her... hope she comes right. Very strong personality

She's very honest!! She says like it is.👍

She answered zero questions!! Lol It’s all good. She’s just got a lot on her mind

"First time doing Heroin was in rehab" Well....thats a bad rehab.

She's so beautiful. Drugs suck.

After you watch this watch “ The brain and recovery the neuroscience of addiction “ it’s amazing learned more about myself and others in that hour and a half than I have in years. The truth is most heroin addicts self medicate because of trauma, problem is more trauma occurs from the life one ends up leading. Hence you never get away from the pain . Most heroin addicts are actually overly kind and soft natured struggling to say no , often very soft personalities. Yes some become a bit hardened but often that involves crack use which seems in some cases to cause that. However majority of heroin addicts I know are kind and gentle souls who reward themselves in only way they know drugs , assuming it will take away their pain , it does too, well a bit. So next time you judge realise that addict probably has very few genuine friends and often no family, they been judged all their life’s and shunned by family , often raped, beaten, often in violent relationships etc. (Maybe family thought tougher love works , it doesn’t. ) By way you got much much better chance of staying off crap if you give up cigarettes too ! Hard yep but it will give any addicts in recovery a better chance.

14:40 "Addicts are some of the strongest, smartest people in the world," We never learned how to cope with the hell around and inside us. Maybe we had people try to teach us how to cope, but against that kind of existential pain, I felt powerless and hopeless. I always just wanted to escape. Sometimes the internal hell is worse than the external. I wish you strength, peace, and love.

Shes very smiling and positive to have such a hard life! I love when she says shes a person of God at the end of the day! She keeps her Faith! God bless you pretty lady!

She is right in what she says. In the past, children and young people had more respect for older people

Fortunately I had the strength to come off hard drugs. I got permanent brain damage but i can now focus on life 🖤

Your work is excellent! From England 👏🏻

But for the Grace of God, I have been there am from Brooklyn New York City, I shot Heroin for 36 years I left the city, Praise God I have 19 months clean I wish I can give you a hug your story is making me cry please please sister go get some help leave and don't turn back, You want to cry am here for all I Love Addicts I will be praying for you

I hope she gets clean and uses her knowledge to help others

The way she spoke about God, I think she may be able to get it together. It's not the religious aspect, but just the fact she believes in something like that, she may have a more solid foundation of hope.

Drugs are a substitute for the lack of love from those that were supposed to love us and didn't. In the beginning drugs create the loving illusion of pleasure and company of those in the same boat that is bound to sink into the darkness of addiction. We destroy ourselves in order to feel unworthy of the love we should have had and those that hurt us continue this cycle as we hurt others in the midst of our addiction creating future addicts. Unless we can let go of the pain this cycle will continue and I am trying and pray for those like me who want to travel a different path that fate has put us on.

I agree that addiction is person by person based. I grew up with brothers that are addicts and I told myself at a very young age that I would not follow in their footsteps. I've seen firsthand the pain that ripples throughout your life and don't want to add to it. I've had some tough goes at it but at least that's been something I've stayed true to so far.

She have kids but yet she dont have answer who is most important person In her life,wow just wow ! Sad,heartbreaking 💔

I have been watching so many of them over the years and i always pray for each and every one of them from the bottom of my heart. May God bless them all

She is addicted for ages yet she still makes a lot of sense. Its great that she still has presence of mind. She won't have if she continue to do drugs but i hope she eventually will get out before the real decline sets in. May God help her.

I hope she finds the help she so desperately needs. This is what childhood trauma leads a person to become. 😢

She says your parents have to be there for you. She's a parent and she's not there for her kids. And that's not judging that's a fact!

This woman is smart, well spoken, self aware, and a potential gift to other suffering addicts. I truly hope she makes it to someday helps other suffering addicts.

Raped at 12 and didn't say anything....so sad. I hope she makes it.

for me, my own addiction is like gravity- I was like Jessica- didn't start till late- but, it pulled me into the black hole of addiction pretty damn quick- some people orbit this incredible black hole of addiction for many years- but- once I got hooked (guess I am lucky- got clean when I was 32) so me getting pulled in so quickly and so hard was good- grateful I am not still out there doing that to my body and my mind

33 !!!! Holy F ! She looks late 40s !!!!! That’s what drugs do to you 😱

Her hands show her addiction so much. It’s crazy how some heroin addicts hands get so swollen. My exes hands were like that when we were using but never mine. I always wondered why. Rest In Peace Derek. I’m still here living clean making sure you didn’t die in vain.

Do you ever offer ppl information on resources and programs to help them stop this cycle in their own lives... I love your videos bc I used to have a stigma about addicts (addiction runs in my family and it made me so angry with the continued hurt they caused) you really don’t see this side of it with your own family honestly and it’s actually made me have some compassion. Also do you do take any volunteers to come out and make sure basic needs are met. You have a great rapport with people in this community and it would be great to use that and provide some help.

I watched her update video before this one and I'm astonished by how intelligent she is.. her update broke my heart because she was so much more alert in this one.. I really hope she can get the help she needs because there's clearly an amazing and smart mind being hidden by the drugs and Street life. I send you all my love Jessica, I wish the best for you and I hope one day you can return to normalcy

she is so insightful, articulate... girl, write a book! You have a unique voice

Blessings to these people. I wonder what the difference is between those who get help and stay clean, and those who don't. It cannot just be that they "want it more." I mean, listening to them, not one says, "God, I love this life so much-please let me stay here."

Good interview. She seems like a kind soul and is well spoken. Stay safe Jessica. ❤

I love her energy! Stay safe, may god protect you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼 sending prayers from Cali!

Prayers, u can tell she having kidney failure d/t her hands swelling they look awful! Prayers Jessica!! Stay safe sis!! Th, for theses videos it shows that it happens to people from ALL walks of life!! 🙏☝🙏☝💜👊🔔

My childhood was fucked up

I stumbled upon your videos, and i am really glad i did. I have seen such a lovely side to these souls that i honestly never ever thought about before. Thank you for the insight. There by the grace of God go I ...

She's such a sweetheart. What a beautiful soul. Was sad to see her update video... I really hope she's getting help.

My mother was also an alcoholic. Would hide her beer in the fridge to make you think she was sipping on the same one. Now she has liver failure. 1 more drink and her body will shut off.

😢😢😢😢this is so heart breaking 😢 but mal your such a caring person. thanks for what you are out there doing ..getting other peoples stories out .I am glad that I found this channel. I really do think that its a wonderful channel. I love your interviews and you because my friend your a true loving and non judgmental person. thanks from the bottom of my heart. ❤keep doing this. ❤❤❤❤❤prayers sweetie. I pray that you can change your life around and actually have a awesome rest of your life. sobriety will look much better on you when your ready. I know and understand its something that you have to be willing and ready to do to get help when your truly ready. I pray that you come to realization about this problem sooner than later. don't wait till its to late honey please. ....know your worth babes ❤❤❤❤❤ #Wedorecover #Weoutthere #bigprayers&love

What a nice person, hope she can find peace and serenity, she deserves so much more.

I feel for you! You still have your beauty and intelligence. I am praying for you sweet. Sending love and light your way❤️

U go girl that’s right GOD has his hand in all things and he definitely has a plan for u doll keep your head up because if he allowed me to make it through addiction, he can most definitely bring you through it too sis you’ve got this 💗🙏🏼💗 God bless you and may god grant you the strength

Love love her beautiful long hair!! Love her personality 💕 I really hope she gets better and comes to life again! God help her live beautiful bright life again!!!

I really appreciated her thoughts in this one,I wish her the best

"When all you know is drama, life is caos!"... I got you girl, my life has been nothing but drama, my mother uses to try fake suicide just to make me scared and lots of other crazy "educational methods"... And all of my house drama and abandoning made me such a hard adult to deal it. I have no friends, pandemics here in Brazil does not show signs to get any better, we're in lockdown for over one year now and I ended up getting addicted to prescribed medication... Things are hard right now.

No judgment here. You're smart, and such a light. If only you can see it and use it! Thank you for telling your story

What a sweet girl, she has a nervous laugh bless her 🙏❤️🇬🇧

Say No to Drugs ✌🏼❤🕊 🐺🐾

She seems lovely .. I wish her well 😔

Shes so well spoken and smart. I hope she’s able to get her life back on track.

She's absolutely right about the raised with respect and not being able to discipline our children in the city of Philadelphia. And DHS gets involved and gives ur kids to foster parents who beat the children. Smh

I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but her right hand is SO swollen, I really think she needs to go get that looked at :/ that’s worrisome.

It's so sad..sometimes life is so difficult, that's why people turn to drugs. The problem is drugs make life go out of spiral. I hope she goes to rehabilitation and face life strong. Drugs really ages people.

as a parent, this scares me to death. as an addict parent, this paralyzes me.

Love how much longer this video is. Great job AML.

I love the musical interludes.

That's so sad rehab is what got u into this. You're really sweet u seem cool u don't deserve this